Author has written 12 stories for Pirates of the Caribbean, Secret Window, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Benny and Joon, Misc. Movies, Misc. Books, Vampire Diaries, and Supernatural.
Hello. My name is Dawn, I'm 20 and I'm from California. I absolutely love reading fan fictions. My favorite thing to do is watch movies (especially on a rainy day, it's so relaxing.) and my favorite type of movie is just about anything these days. I use to have on here that it was comedies, but I've come to the realization recently that I can't really accurately put that because I can be watching some heavy drama and find something to laugh at, and these days it's very rare that I get a chance to watch a movie anymore unless I go to the theatre, so in short (hehe) my favorite type of movie these days is anything with a great story and that can take me away for a little bit. But I do love having something to laugh at. Although, it is kinda of hard to find a real good comedy sometimes. Because there's regular comedy, there's the type that's so stupid it's funny, and then there's just annoyingly stupid comedy. And I hate those. And of course, I have a really odd, and a lot of the time, quite sick sense of humor, so to be perfectly honest, I could watch a horror movie and find it funny. Case in point, Scream. Granted, the first time I saw it I was scared (I was 9 at the time) but after watching it so many times, I can really appreciate the humor in it. Especially the end, hilarious stuff man! But anyways, enough with the rambling, I'm sure most of you don't really care much anyways. Right, soo...
Favorite Movie: Benny & Joon
Others Include: City Lights, Lost and Delirious, In America, Gladiator, Ned Kelly(2003), A Perfect World, Top Gun, Fight Club, Big Fish, POTC, To Gillian On Her 37th Birthday, Pearl Harbor, It Happened One Night, Quills, Short Circuit, Imaginary Heroes, American History X, Howard The Duck, Anything With Johnny Depp Except The 9th Gate, and so many, many more.
Favorite Animated Movie: For regular animation I'll say Beauty and the Beast, for Pixar films I HAVE to go with WALL-E!
Others Include: The Lion King, Rataouille, Ice Age, Shrek 2, The Pebble And The Penguin, Finding Nemo, Brother Bear, Madagascar 1 and 2, Robots, Almost Anything Disney, Almost all Pixar films, Almost all Dreamwork films, The Last Unicorn, etc.
Favorite Director: Tim Burton
Others Include: Michael Bay, Steven Spielberg, Ridley Scott, Peter Jackson, Gore Verbinski, Charlie Chaplin, etc.
Favorite Actors: My Top 4: Johnny Depp, Emile Hirsch, Edward Norton and Joaquin Phoenix
Others Include: Colin Farrell, Ewan McGregor, Tom Hanks, Hugh Grant, Jude Law, Orlando Bloom, Cuba Gooding Jr., Robin Williams, Geoffrey Rush, Josh Hartnett, Jake Gyllenhaal, Peter Sarsgaard, The Late Great Heath Ledger, etc.
Favorite Actress: Sandra Bullock
Others Include: Julia Roberts, Amy Adams, Reese Witherspoon, Brittany Murphy, Juliette Lewis (mainly just her earlier stuff), Keira Knightley, Rachel McAdams, Dakota Fanning, Samantha Morton, Diane Lane, Mary Stuart Masterson, Angelina Jolie, Shirley MacLaine, etc.
Favorite Type Of Music: Alternative & Stuff From The 60's & 80's
Favorite Song: 500 Miles By: The Proclaimers
Others Include: Crimson and Clover By: Tommy James and The Shondells, Sweet Melissa By: The Allman Brothers, Brandy By: Gordon Lightfoot, Hang On Sloopy By: The McCoys, Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay By: Otis Redding, Love Me For Me By: Ashlee Simpson, Always By: Saliva, Tracks Of My Tears By: The Miracles, What's New Pussy Cat By: Tom Jones, Tainted Love By: Soft Cell, Girl You'll Be A Woman Soon (Pulp Fiction Version) By: Urge Overkill, The Jet Set Life Is Gonna Kill You By: My Chemical Romance, etc.
Favorite Artist At The Moment: Justin Nozuka
Favorite Artists: Damien Rice, David Gray, Johnny Cash, Ashlee Simpson, Taylor Swift, Ani Difranco, John Mayer, Otis Redding, Rufus Wainwright, Tom Petty, Katy Perry, and so many others!
Favorite Band: Maroon 5
Others Include: Linkin Park, Evenescence, My Chemical Romance, The Beach Boys, The Killers, 3 Days Grace, The Temptations, Saliva, Nickleback, etc.
Favorite Thing At The Moment:Emile Hirsch and The Slowkys!
My Two Cents/Pointless News On The Homefront
- Posted 11-18-08: I am mourning the recent retirement announcment of Joaquin Phoenix :(
I am going to miss his work dearly.
Visual Aids for 'A Million Whys' (Currently taken down until I can put the proper time into it.)
Our Main Guy :) : http://emile-hirsch.org/gallery/displayimage.php?album=31&pos=6
http://emile-hirsch.org/gallery/displayimage.php?album=random&cat=3&pos=-132 hehe, sorry, but I couldn't pick just one!
Just About Anything Johnny Depp Says :)
"Before you insult somebody, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you insult them, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes!"
"I've have my heart broken before and it's not fun. But I rather have my heart broken then break someone else's heart." - Josh Hartnett
"Be careful, ladies they...cloud the mind." -Gooz ( Michael Shannon) From Pearl Harbor.
"Sea Turtles?" - Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
"Power corrupts. Absolute power can be kind of fun." - I forget.
Alexander Andrews: Do you love her?
Peter Warne: A normal human being couldn't live under the same roof with her without going nutty! She's my idea of nothing!
Alexander Andrews: I asked you a simple question! Do you love her?
Peter Warne: YES! But don't hold that against me, I'm a little screwy myself! - It Happened One Night
Favorite Family Guy Quotes, Courtesy Of Stewie
Stweie: (to ticket agent) Now listen to me...
(looks at agent's name tag)
Jo-LENE. I've got an army to raise and I must get to Nicaragua. I require a window seat and an in-flight Happy Meal AND NO PICKLES. OH, GOD HELP YOU IF I FIND PICKLES.
Stewie: Ha ha. Oh. Oh, this is so good, it just has to be fattening.
Olivia: You ARE the weakest link. Goodbye.
Stewie: Ahahaha oh gosh that's funny. That's really funny. Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. You are the weakest link goodbye. You know, I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Mmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, reference that outside the program before. Because that's what she says on the show right? Isn't it? You are the weakest link goodbye. And yet, you have taken that and used it out of context, to insult me in this everyday situation. God what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that all by yourself. Mmm, that's so fresh too. Any titanic jokes you want to throw at me while we're hitting these at the height of their popularity? Hmm? Cause... i'm here. God you're SO funny.
Stewie: Mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint: it's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.
Stewie: Do these huggies make my ass look big?
Stewie: (while eating a pancake) OH. mmm yes oh god this is better than SEX.
Stewie: (plucks a banjo) Oh! I feel so delightfully white trash! Mummy, I want a mullet!
(Song he sings in the episode)
Stewie: (in a Southern accent) Warm out today. Warm out yesterday. Even warmer today.
(strums up his banjo)
Stewie: (singing) Met her on my CB / Said her name was Mimi / Sounded like an angel come to Earth /
Banjo Chorus: Come to Earth /
Stewie: But when Iwent tomeet her / Boy, you should've seen her / Twice as tall as me, three times the girth /
Banjo Chorus: Girth /
Stewie: Oh, my fat baby loves to eat /
Banjo Chorus: Loves to eat /
Stewie: A big old Buddha belly, and her breasts swing past her feet /
Oh, my fat baby loves to eat /
Banjo Chorus: Eat /
Stewie: My big ol' fat ass baby loves to eat!
(shouts) I GOT BLISTERS ON ME FINGERS!
Stewie: (Picking up the phone) Hello, operator. Hello... Oh god, that's right you have to punch in the numbers nowadays. Uhhh, I should know this. Oh yes,
867-5309, yes that's it. Wait that's not it, damn you Tommy Two-Tone. Huh, only one thing to do 111-1111, Lois? Damn. 111-1112 Lois? DAMN. 111-1113...
(Stewie and Brian are trying to sleep in a motel, a drug deal is heard in the next room)
Drug Buyer: You got the stuff?
Drug Dealer: Yeah I got it, where's the money, huh? I wanna see the money.
Drug Buyer: No, no, no, you don't see the money 'till I see the stuff.
Stewie: Oh, for God's sake, there's only one way to put an end to this nuisance.
(yelling) HE'S WEARING A WIRE!
Drug Dealer: What? You son of a...
(gunshots are heard following by a "body drop" sound effect)
Stewie: (Stewie has run away and Brian discovers this note) Dear Stupid Dog, I've gone to live with the children on Jolly Farm. Good-bye forever, Stewie. P.S.- I never got a chance to return that sweater Lois gave me for Christmas, I left the receipt on top of my bureau. I'm probably over the 30-day return limit, but I'm sure if you make a fuss they'll at least give you a store credit or something. It's actually not a horrible sweater, it's just I can't imagine when I would ever wear it, you know? Oh and I also left a button on the bureau, um I'm not sure what it goes to but um I, I can never bring myself to throw a button away, I know as soon as I do, I'll find the garment it goes to and then it'll, wait a minute actually could it have been from the sweater? Did that sweater have buttons? Hmm. Well I should wrap this up before I start to ramble. Again good-bye forever. PPS- You know what, it might be a little chilly in London, I'm actually going to take the sweater.
Stewie: (Stewie reads a card and discovers his name written inside as the sender)Did you forge my name? How dare you. Is this backwards "S" supposed to be cute? Oh, I'm going to crap double for you tonight.
Stewie: (Stewie is about to be given an injection against his will, so he grabs something from the equipment trolley and threatens the nurse) Come any closer and I'll cut her!
(realizes he's holding a tongue depresser) I'll give her a series of splinters... that could become infected.
Stewie: They're getting nude! I mustn't watch, it's not the proper thing to... Wow! I say, nice ones, Janine! And look at Lisa in all of her curvaceous glory! Heavens, it appears that my weewee has been stricken with rigor mortis!
Stewie: Damn the toilet. It's made slaves of you all. It just sits there consuming other people's feces while contributing nothing of its own to society.
(runs to tolit) You get a job!
Stewie: I love God. He's so deliciously evil.
Stewie: (to his grandmother) I smell death on you.
Stewie: (pointing to rifle and crotch alternately) This is my rifle / This is my gun / This is for fighting / This is for fun!
Stewie: (after Brian cries hysterically) I guess now we know what kind of dog he is. A "melancollie".
Oh wait. I should have said "chi wa-wa".
(still no response)
I don't have to #& impressyou!
Stewie: (Stewie is sitting in between Meg and Peter dressed like a prostitute)
(to Meg) It's eerie, isn't it. Like looking into the future.
Stewie: The breakfast thing. Yes. It wasn't even about the eggs, really. Frankly, I like the yolks. I don't... I have no problem... it's just there's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me. And it's not so much I want to "kill" her. It's just I want her not to be alive anymore. Uh... I sometimes wonder if all women are this difficult. And then I think to myself, "My God! Wouldn't it be marvelous if I turned out to be a homosexual?"
Chris:I wanna get Barbara a really nice gift, What kind of gifts have boys gotten for you Meg?
Meg: Oh... well, my boyfriend Prince William got me this beautiful watch and this diamond tiara and this wonderful scepter...
(Meg laughs manically then breaks down sobbing)
Stewie: She needs to get laid big time!
Meg:I made flag girl!
Stewie: Oh, you made flag girl. Great.
Now you can be somewhere else when the boys don't call.
(after Stewie gets taken into an ethnically diverse foster family)
Indian boy: Stewie, would you like to learn how to wrap a turban?
Stewie: Why don't you teach it to the Chinese girl? Or perhaps she can learn after her people invade your country.
Indian boy: Yee, would your people really do this?
Stewie: Try and stop them. And try and stop Pablo's people from using drug money to buy arms from Li's countrymen who in turn sells them to Ura's people so that they can ethnically clense the rest of this nauseatingly diverse grab bag of genetic party favors you call a family. So now you all understand, yes? You all hate each other!
(children start crying)
Stewie: Damn it! I want pancakes! God! You people understand every language except English. Yo quiero pancakes. Donnez-moi pancakes. Click-click-bloody click pancakes!
Stewie: (Stewie taunts a girl who has fallen down a well) It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
Stewie: (accidently rips off the tail of Brian's dead mother) Oh, what the hell? She didn't have much to wag about these days, anyway.
Stewie: (looking at a picture of Jesus) Look at Jesus over there all alone.
(referring to another picture)
One would think that those bulldogs would invite him over to play poker with them.
Stewie:(Stewie playing in a bathtub full of blood) Stewie: How positively delightful! It's as if someone stabbed Mr. Bubble!
Stewie: You didn't love me. It was my cookies! Well, sugar, the bakery just closed. Go get your fill somewhere else, you oatmeal-raisin-loving freak!
Lois:What's going on?
Stewie: We're playing house.
Lois: The boy is all tied up.
Stewie: Roman Polanski's house.
(the Griffins have inherited a mansion. Stewie is being waited on)
Stewie: You. Cut my eggs.
(waiter cuts his eggs)
Waiter: Your eggs are cut sir.
Stewie: Now cut my milk.
Waiter: Uh, I can't sir, it's liquid.
Stewie: (slaps him) IDIOT. Freeze it, then CUT it. And if you ever question me again, I shall put you on diaper detail. And believe me, I will not make it easy on you.
Some Non - Stewie Quotes
Meg: Oh. Oh, this is just my bird calls.
Peter: Do it again! Do it again!
(Meg whistles, Big Bird's footsteps approached)
Big Bird: Yeah? Well, what'd you want?
Big Bird: You called me, right?
Meg: Oh, no, no I wasn't calling you.
Big Bird: Oh, oh, this is funny to you? Y-yeah? Y-you know what a pain in the ass it is to get across town this time a day, huh?
Peter: Listen, uh, mister we don't want any trouble here.
Big Bird: I don't fly you know. I take the subway like everybody else. Oh and people don't stare. You made me puke...
Big Bird: ... bitch.
Lois: You should spend some time with our kids, Peter. And with me.
Peter: Uh, what could me and you do together?
Peter: Lois. You've got a sick mind.
Lois: Peter, I'm talking about making love.
Peter: Oh. I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.
Minnie Mouse:Do I, do-do I have to?
Walt Disney:You wanna be a star, don't you? Then take it off!
(Minnie tooks her dress off, then she sobs)
Walt Disney: Yeah. Yeah, yeah that's nice. (So wrong I know, but it was absolutely hilarious!)
Peter: I've been watching television so much the shows are starting to run together.
Announcer: (For Homicide: Life on Sesame Street) This show contains adult content, and is brought to you by the letter H.
Bert: (Answering phone) Hello? Son of a bitch. I'm on my way.
(Gets out of bed and gets dressed)
Bert: Some poor bastard got his head blown off down at a place called Hooper's.
Ernie: Bert, I wish you wouldn't drink so much, Bert.
Bert: Well, Ernie, I wish you wouldn't eat cookies in the DAMN BED.
Ernie: Bert, you're yelling at me again, Bert.
(at a job interview)
Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years?
Peter: (thinking to himself "Don't say doing your wife. Don't say doing your wife.") Doing your, uh, son...
Peter:If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be?
Quagmire: Taylor Hanson.
Joe: Taylor Hanson is a guy.
Quagmire: (Laughs) You guys are yankin' me. "Hey, let's put one over on Quagmire."
Peter: No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire.
Quagmire: What? That's insane. That's impossible.
Quagmire: Oh god. Oh my god. I've got all these magazines. Oh god.
(looking at whales)
Chris: Dad, what's the blowhole for?
Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.
Meg: Dad,can you please teach me how to drive?
Brian: Meg, you might want to find a better driver then Peter.
Peter: What are you talking about? I'm a great driver.
Brian: Oh, yeah. Remember your trip to the Southwest.
Roadrunner: Meep Meep.
(Peter's car runs over him)
Peter: Oh my God. Did I just hit that ostrich?
Wile E. Coyote: No.
Peter: Are you sure?
Wile E. Coyote: Yeah. Keep going.
(Shamus has four wooden limbs)
Quagmire: So, were you in an accident or something?
Shamus: No, me father was a tree.
(Peter has had plastic surgery)
Lois:Peter, did you get a new buttocks?
Peter: I had to. My old one had a crack in it.
(Joe Swanson is in a fight with the Grinch)
Grinch: You think you have won, you think all is well. Well kiss my green ass, I'll see you in hell.
Guy in chicken costume: The world is gonna end at midnight tonight. Y2K.
Peter: Y2K? What are you selling, chicken or sex jelly?
(the Griffins are being relocated to the South)
Peter:The South? Isn't that where the black people are really lazy, and the white people are equally as lazy, but they're mad at the black people for being so lazy?
Black Knight:Hey, what's your fat ass doing here?
Man: (sitting on a fat donkey) He's my only means of conveyance.
(they are in court)
Judge: I'm sentencing you to 24 months in prison.
Lois: Oh no!
Brian: Oh no!
Chris: Oh no!
Meg: Oh no!
(Kool Aid Man busts through wall)
Kool-Aid Man: Oh yeah!
(all stare, Kool-Aid Man backs out uncomfortably)
(Peter is watching a pornographic video)
Woman on Tape: How about some whipped cream...
Peter: Ohh! That's always good.
Woman on Tape: ...and some cinnamon.
Peter: Ohh! Oh, that's good too.
Woman on Tape: And then guess what? I'm going to add...
Peter: Ah, Jeez! If she says "Mrs. Dash" I'm going to lose it.
(a police officer pulls Peter over in his car)
Police Officer: License and reg... hey, aren't you the guy who found out he's part black?
Peter: Yes I am.
Police Officer: (into walkie-talkie) Report of a possible stolen vehicle.
Peter: But this is my car.
Police Officer: Suspect becoming beligerent.
Police Officer: Officer down.
(Officer falls to ground, police cars surround Peter)
And One From My Favorite Episode, "To Live and Die in Dixie"
Old Man: Hey, muscly arm, why the long face?
Chris: It's this girl. I can't talk to her. It's like girls are a different species or something.
Old Man: Who needs them? You like Popsicles?
Chris: Well, sure.
Old Man: Then you need to come on down to the cellar. I got a whole freezer full of Popsicles.
Chris: No, thanks. I gotta get going.
Old Man: Don't make me beg now.
Chris: You're funny. Bye. (rides off on bike)
Old Man: (whispers to himself) Get your fat ass back here.
(Later in the Show)
Answering Machine: You have 113 new messages.
(Phone starts to beep)
Lois: Oh my!
Old Man: Uh, yeah, I was just wondering, uh... where the newspaper boy was.
Old Man: Haven't seen the newspaper in a couple days. Wonderin' if he ever gonna come back.
Old Man: Guess who? Sorry to leave you so many messages. Just lonely here. Thinkin' about the muscly-armed paperboy. Wishin' he'd come by and bring me some good news.
Old Man: Where are you?
Old Man: Ah, you're starting to piss me off, you little piggly son of a bitch. Call me!
(End of the Show)