Author has written 16 stories for Prince of Tennis, Detective Conan/Case Closed, Harry Potter, Alex Rider, Romeo & Juliet, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Calvin & Hobbes, and Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人.
"Lahel" is the name of a girl in a Korean webcomic called Tower of God. She's seriously evil. I mean, really. She's just not cool.
Alex Rider: Alex Riderx Julius Grief (There's like only 1 fic that has this pairing called Arrest by TrueColors, but it's too awesome to be ignored.)
D.Gray-Man: Poker Pair! aka AllenxTyki
Detective Conan: KaiShin or KidCon (they're the same, anyways.)
Fullmetal Alchemist: RoyEd
Harry Potter: TMR/HP or vice versa.
Hikaru no Go: HikaruxAkira
Kuroko no Basuke: AkaKuro
Shingeki no Kyojin: Riren or Ereri
The rest, like Katekyo Hitman Reborn, Percy Jackson, Naruto, Kuroshitsuji, don't really matter much about the pairings.
That girl you just called a mudblood? She spends hours practicing spells hoping people would like her. The boy you just stupefied? His parents use the cruciatus curse on him regularly. That kid you just pushed? He is trying to use the killing curse on himself. That guy you made fun of just for crying? His mother was killed by a Death Eater. Repost this if you are against bullying in the Wizarding World. You never know what it's like until you fly a mile on their broomstick.
Hobbies: Math. (Jokes from math. utah. edu)
Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
One evening Rene Descartes went to relax at a local tavern. The tender approached and said, "Ah, good evening Monsieur Descartes! Shall I serve you the usual drink?". Descartes replied, "I think not.", and promptly vanished.
Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable for the young, not too difficult, amusing, and without peril to the state.
The difference between an introvert and extrovert mathematicians is: An introvert mathematician looks at his shoes while talking to you. An extrovert mathematician looks at your shoes.
A mathematician, a physicist, an engineer went again to the races and laid their money down. Commiserating in the bar after the race, the engineer says, "I don't understand why I lost all my money. I measured all the horses and calculated their strength and mechanical advantage and figured out how fast they could run..."
The physicist interrupted him: "...but you didn't take individual variations into account. I did a statistical analysis of their previous performances and bet on the horses with the highest probability of winning..."
"...so if you're so hot why are you broke?" asked the engineer. But before the argument can grow, the mathematician takes out his pipe and they get a glimpse of his well-fattened wallet. Obviously here was a man who knows something about horses. They both demanded to know his secret.
"Well," he says, "first I assumed all the horses were identical and spherical..."
An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel.
A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician were sitting in a street cafe watching the crowd. Across the street they saw a man and a woman entering a building. Ten minutes they reappeared together with a third person.
Several scientists were all posed the following question: "What is 2 * 2 ?"
A mathematician, scientist, and engineer are each asked: "Suppose we define a horse's tail to be a leg. How many legs does a horse have?" The mathematician answers "5"; the scientist "1"; and the engineer says "But you can't do that!
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all given identical rubber balls and told to find the volume. They are given anything they want to measure it, and have all the time they need. The mathematician pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference. He then divides by two times pi to get the radius, cubes that, multiplies by pi again, and then multiplies by four-thirds and thereby calculates the volume. The physicist gets a bucket of water, places 1.00000 gallons of water in the bucket, drops in the ball, and measures the displacement to six significant figures. And the engineer? He writes down the serial number of the ball, and looks it up.
A team of engineers were required to measure the height of a flag pole. They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole. It kept falling down, etc. A mathematician comes along, finds out their problem, and proceeds to remove the pole from the ground and measure it easily. When he leaves, one engineer says to the other: "Just like a mathematician! We need to know the height, and he gives us the length!"
A mathematician and a physicist agree to a psychological experiment. The (hungry) mathematician is put in a chair in a large empty room and his favorite meal, perfectly prepared, is placed at the other end of the room. The psychologist explains, "You are to remain in your chair. Every minute, I will move your chair to a position halfway between its current location and the meal." The mathematician looks at the psychologist in disgust. "What? I'm not going to go through this. You know I'll never reach the food!" And he gets up and storms out.
One day a farmer called up an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician and asked them to fence of the largest possible area with the least amount of fence.
Several scientists were asked to prove that all odd integers higher than 2 are prime.
Mathematician: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, and by induction - every odd integer higher than 2 is a prime.
(Two is the oddest prime of all, because it's the only one that's even!)
An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician find themselves in an anecdote, indeed an anecdote quite similar to many that you have no doubt already heard. After some observations and rough calculations the engineer realizes the situation and starts laughing. A few minutes later the physicist understands too and chuckles to himself happily as he now has enough experimental evidence to publish a paper.
This leaves the mathematician somewhat perplexed, as he had observed right away that he was the subject of an anecdote, and deduced quite rapidly the presence of humor from similar anecdotes, but considers this anecdote to be too trivial a corollary to be significant, let alone funny.
New York (CNN). At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a high school mathematics teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator. According to law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction. It was later discovered that he taught the students to solve their problem with the help of radicals!
A mathematician organizes a lottery in which the prize is an infinite amount of money. When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment: "1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that..."
When a statistician passes the airport security check, they discover a bomb in his bag. He explains. "Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. However, the chance that there are two bombs at one plane is 1/1000000. So, I am much safer..."
Two male mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic mathematics. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math.
The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the waitress. He tells her that in a few minutes, after his friend has returned, he will call her over and ask her a question. All she has to do is answer one third x cubed.
She repeats "one thir -- dex cue"?
The first guy returns and the second proposes a bet to prove his point, that most people do know something about basic math. He says he will ask the blonde waitress an integral, and the first laughingly agrees. The second man calls over the waitress and asks "what is the integral of x squared?".
Mathematician U. was a great friend of his five-year old grandson. They discussed everything including math and U. was very proud of the boys math talents. The child went to kindergarten; In two weeks the he ask U.to help with the difficult math problem: "There are four airplanes flying, then two more airplanes join them. How many airplanes are flying now? U. was very disappointed by the simplicity of the problem. "What confuses you?" he asked. The child says: " I know, of course, that 4 2 =6, but I cannot figure out what the airplanes have do with this!"
"The problems for the exam will be similar to the discussed in the class. Of course, the numbers will be different. But not all of them. Pi will still be 3.14159... "
"Roses are red,
Yeah, I used to think it was just recreational... then I started doin' it during the week... you know, simple stuff: differentiation, kinematics. Then I got into integration by parts... I started doin' it every night: path integrals, holomorphic functions. Now I'm on diophantine equations and sinking deeper into transfinite analysis. Don't let them tell you it's just recreational.
A graduate student of mathematics who used to come to the University on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle. "Where did you get the bike from?" his friends asked. "It's a thank you' present", he explains, "from that freshman girl I've been tutoring. Yesterday she called me and told that she had passed her math final and wanted to drop by to thank me in person. She arrived at my place on her bicycle. When I had let her in, she took all her clothes off, smiled at me, and said: You can get from me whatever you desire!'" One of his friends remarks: "You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle." "Yeah", another friend adds, "just imagine how silly you would have looked in a girl's clothes - and they wouldn't have fit you anyway!"
Dictionary of Definitions of Terms Commonly Used in Math. lectures.
The following is a guide to terms which are commonly used but rarely defined. In the search for proper definitions for these terms we found no authoritative, nor even recognized, source. Thus, we followed the advice of mathematicians handed down from time immortal: "Wing It."
CLEARLY:I don't want to write down all the "in- between" steps.TRIVIAL:If I have to show you how to do this, you're in the wrong class.OBVIOUSLY:I hope you weren't sleeping when we discussed this earlier, because I refuse to repeat it.RECALL:I shouldn't have to tell you this, but for those of you who erase your memory tapes after every test...WLOG (Without Loss Of Generality):I'm not about to do all the possible cases, so I'll do one and let you figure out the rest.IT CAN EASILY BE SHOWN:Even you, in your finite wisdom, should be able to prove this without me holding your hand.CHECK or CHECK FOR YOURSELF:This is the boring part of the proof, so you can do it on your own time.SKETCH OF A PROOF:I couldn't verify all the details, so I'll break it down into the parts I couldn't prove.HINT:The hardest of several possible ways to do a proof.BRUTE FORCE (AND IGNORANCE):Four special cases, three counting arguments, two long inductions, "and a partridge in a pair tree."SOFT PROOF:One third less filling (of the page) than your regular proof, but it requires two extra years of course work just to understand the terms.ELEGANT PROOF:Requires no previous knowledge of the subject matter and is less than ten lines long.SIMILARLY:At least one line of the proof of this case is the same as before.CANONICAL FORM:4 out of 5 mathematicians surveyed recommended this as the final form for their students who choose to finish.TFAE (The Following Are Equivalent):If I say this it means that, and if I say that it means the other thing, and if I say the other thing...BY A PREVIOUS THEOREM:I don't remember how it goes (come to think of it I'm not really sure we did this at all), but if I stated it right (or at all), then the rest of this follows.TWO LINE PROOF:I'll leave out everything but the conclusion, you can't question 'em if you can't see 'em.BRIEFLY:I'm running out of time, so I'll just write and talk faster.LET'S TALK THROUGH IT:I don't want to write it on the board lest I make a mistake.PROCEED FORMALLY:Manipulate symbols by the rules without any hint of their true meaning (popular in pure math courses).QUANTIFY:I can't find anything wrong with your proof except that it won't work if x is a moon of Jupiter (Popular in applied math courses).PROOF OMITTED:Trust me, It's true.
If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with the giants on whose shoulders we stand.
If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
Mathematicians stand on each other's shoulders.
Mathematicians stand on each other's shoulders while computer scientists stand on each other's toes.
It has been said that physicists stand on one another's shoulders. If this is the case, then programmers stand on one another's toes, and software engineers dig each other's graves.
There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary math, and those who don't.
"The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again."
Q: To what question is the answer "Dr. Livingstone, I presume."
A: "What is your full name, Dr. Presume?"
Q: how many times can you subtract 7 from 83, and what is left afterwards?
A: I can subtract it as many times as I want, and it leaves 76 every time.
Q: Why couldn't the moebius strip enroll at the school?
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a banana?
Q: What's the contour integral around Western Europe?
A: Zero, because all the Poles are in Eastern Europe!
Addendum: Actually, there ARE some Poles in Western Europe, but they are removable!
Q:What is a dilemma?
"What's your favorite thing about mathematics?" "Knot theory." "Yeah, me neither."
Noah's Ark lands after The Flood and Noah releases all the animals, saying, "Go forth and multiply." Several months pass and Noah decides to check up on the animals. All are doing fine except a pair of snakes. "What's the problem?" asks Noah. "Cut down some trees and let us live there," say the snakes. Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass and Noah checks up on the snakes again. He sees lots of little snakes; everybody is happy. Noah says, "So tell me how the trees helped." "Certainly," reply the snakes. "We're adders, and we need logs to multiply."
How do you prove in three steps that a sheet of paper is a lazy dog?
A geometer went to the beach to catch the rays and became a TanGent.
A group of Polish tourists is flying on a small airplane through the Grand Canyon on a sightseeing tour. The tour guide announces: "On the right of the airplane, you can see the famous Bright Angle Falls." The tourists leap out of their seats and crowd to the windows on the right side. This causes a dynamic imbalance, and the plane violently rolls to the side and crashes into the canyon wall. All aboard are lost. The moral to this episode is: always keep the poles off the right side of the plane.
A mathematician confided
A mathematician named Klein
If inside a circle a line
Pi goes on and on and on ...
A challenge for many long ages
This poem was written by John Saxon (an author of math textbooks).
A Dozen, a Gross and a Score,
Chebychev said it and I'll say it again:
There once was a number named pi
Who frequently liked to get high.
All he did every day
Was sit in his room and play
With his imaginary friend named i.
There once was a number named e
Who took way too much LSD.
She thought she was great.
But that fact we must debate;
We know she wasn't greater than 3.
There once was a log named Lynn
Whose life was devoted to sin.
She came from a tree
Whose base was shaped like an e.
She's the most natural log I've seen.
Hobbies: Harry Potter
Crabbe, Goyle, and Malfoy are about to be interviewed for a Death Eater position.
Lord Voldemort calls in Crabbe, and tells him: "You have to be observant to be a Death Eater. What do you notice about me?"
Crabbe: "Uh... You have no nose?"
LV: "CRUCIO! Next!"
Goyle comes in, and LV tells him the same thing.
Goyle: "You don't have a nose..."
LV: "CRUCIO! Next!"
Malfoy comes in. However, he was smart enough so that he eavesdropped at the door to see what questions he would be asked. Sure enough, LV asked what he noticed about him.
Malfoy takes a close look at Lord Voldemort and says: "You did a ritual for your eyes."
LV was pleased. "How did you know?"
Malfoy: "You have no nose to set glasses on!"
In the end, Lord Voldemort still gave them the mark. At least they were better than the Hufflepuff applicants.
(I wrote this one, but based it on another joke. Thought I was being clever. Heh.)
I think that it's nice that Voldemort always waits until the end of the school year to kill Harry. Despite his flaws, he really cares about Harry's education.
Coming out of the cupboard: When you announce to the world you are a wizard.
What if Sirius had a twin brother named Kidding?
LV: Your mama so fat-
HP: YOU KILLED HER!
LV: Oh yeah... Your PAPA so fat-
HP: YOU KILLED HIM TOO!
LV: Right. Well... Your COUSIN so fat, he ran into a boggart, and it turned into a salad!
HP: ... Alright, I'll give you that one.
How to get deep and personal with a Potterhead: Ask them what they would see in the Mirror of Erised.
That's right! Aveda Kedavra!
There was once a boy that survived
A curse to end people's lives.
But Lord Voldemort came back
And then he attacked
So the boy died, but was revived.
There was a half giant who was expelled
And forbidden from casting spells.
Though he looks scary
And more than a little hairy
Despite his size he means well.
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