Elizabeth Bower
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Joined 07-11-12, id: 4120909, Profile Updated: 05-09-14
Author has written 8 stories for Discworld, Mass Effect, Heroes of Might and Magic, Temeraire, and Sherlock Holmes.

Alright...what could you possibly want to know about me? Ah yes, I know now...

As my stories might tend to make obvious, I have a deeply-set love (perhaps bordering on obsession...perhaps way over the line into insane obsession) with Discworld. Don't ask me why, I would have to list over a million small reasons, and several major ones. Before anyone asks, my stories also tell you who my favorite characters are. Namely, tied for first, Lord Havelock Vetinari and Sam Vimes. I also like Granny Weatherwax, Death, Susan, Moist von Lipwig, Adora Belle Dearheart, and the entire Watch...I think the Watch should go first though. *chuckles*
Er...I really enjoy several other book series, especially Lord of the Rings and the Dresden Files, followed by Temeraire, Sherlock Holmes, and the Walker Papers. Of those, particularly Lord of the Rings. Harry Potter too, of course, and tons of Neil Gaiman books (Especially Neverwhere).

As my choice in favorite books may suggest, I enjoy some cerebral humor mixed with dark and sometimes more...bawdy sorts, coupled with a point. If you look for meanings in a book, you'll find hundreds. Look for valid points about life through the ages, you'll only find a few. Lord of the Rings made a point with Isengard and Mordor about the Industrial Revolution, and how it was destroying the little farming communities that were so lovely and nice. Discworld, it seems, makes hundreds of valid points about real society in every book. But I'm really forgetting a few favorites, I just know it.

I'm also, contrary to my first impressions every morning, a dedicated gamer, particularly of the Science Fiction and the fantasy genres. I adore the Mass Effect series and have played it four times on Xbox, 1-3, and twice on my PC. I also love the Heroes of Might and Magic (HOMM) series, though I haven't played VI yet. I also adore the Elder Scrolls series, and Spore, and Hellgate: London, Sid Meyer's Civilization series, Dark Messiah (An FPS/RPG set in the HOMM world), and the Zoo Tycoon series. Oh yeah, and Impossible Creatures, because who didn't adore that game? And Dragon Age: Origins and Awakening are also up there, but 2 really pissed me off. I'm hoping for better with Inquisition. Guild Wars 2 is also great, and I'm sure there are others I'm forgetting, just like in the books. If I write even a single fic about it, I like it a lot.

I have always enjoyed writing, and as I have been writing since I was in Third Grade, I feel I have gotten pretty good at it. However, my teachers and friends have noted that I try to compact as much information as possible into as few words as possible, so my word count is pretty...low, probably, compared to some other authors.
I enjoy reading almost as much as I do writing, and almost always have a Discworld book with me when I am having a real writer's block. I would say I have a great sense of humor, sometimes (or always) bordering on the inappropriate. I have been in Honors Language Arts for several years, and perhaps my arrogance from that in real life has transferred to certain characters in my writing...I will apologize here deeply, in case it should happen.

I think that's all you need to know, other than my beloved belief that we are all students no matter our age, and that reading each others works is one way we can come to understand things in our world around us. Oh, and that if you look below this you will see some quotes from Lord Vetinari and Vimes, because I couldn't resist.


'And is he a fair and just ruler?'
Carding thought about it. The Patrician's spy network was said to be superb. 'I would say,' he said carefully, 'that he is unfair and unjust, but scrupulously even-handed. He is unfair and unjust to everyone, without fear or favor.'-About his Lordship, from Sourcery, the first Discworld book he is mentioned in.

Like Death, which some of the city's less fortunate citizens considered he intimately resembled, the Patrician never got angry until he had time to think about it. But sometimes he thought very quickly. -Refer to the above.

And when the Patrician was unhappy, he became very democratic. He found intricate and painful ways of spreading that unhappiness as far as possible. -Guards! Guards!, about the Patrician in a bad mood.

The man had eyes everywhere, none of them so terrifying as the icy blue ones just above his nose. -Guards! Guards! again.

'Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in yourself,' said the Patrician, laying out the food on the cloth. 'The world would be a happier place if more people remembered that. -Guards! Guards!, in reference to dungeons.

'Never trust any ruler who puts his faith in tunnels and bunkers and escape routes. The chances are that his heart isn't in the job.' -Refer to above. The Patrician practically admitting that his heart is in the job...because let's face it, would we trust any other man to run AM as lovingly as he does?

"I think [Vimes]'s got a sort of soft spot for the Patrician, in his way. He once said that if anyone was going to kill Vetinari, he'd like it to be him." Captain Carrot Ironfounderson on Vimes. Feet of Clay.

"It is not a good idea to spray finest brandy across the room, especially when your lighted cigar is in the way." Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

"Thousands of years ago the old empire had enforced the Pax Morporkia, which had said to the world: 'Do not fight or we will kill you.' The Pax had arisen again, but this time it said: 'If you fight, we'll call in your mortgages. And incidentally, that's my pike you're pointing at me. I paid for that shield you're holding. And take my helmet off when you speak to me, you horrible little debtor.' " Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay, about Ankh-Morpork.

"I was talking about policing, not alcohol. There's lots of people willing to help you with the alcohol business, but there's no one out there arranging little meetings where you can stand up and say, 'My name is Sam and I'm a really suspicious bastard.'" Commander Samuel Vimes, Feet of Clay.

“Steal five dollars and you were a petty thief. Steal thousands of dollars and you were either a government or a hero.” Terry Pratchett, Going Postal, Moist's thoughts on stealing.

"Vimes lowered the ape, who wisely didn't make an issue of it because a man angry enough to lift 300lbs of orangutan without noticing is a man with too much on his mind." Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

"Anyway, what was there to be afraid of? [Vimes]'d stared into the jaws of death three times; four if you counted telling Lord Vetinari to shut up." Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!, Vimes thinking to himself.

"No bloody flying newt sets fire to my city!…if anyone ever sets fire to this city, it's going to be me!" Captain Samuel Vimes, Guards! Guards!

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On the Roll of a Dice by MistressParamore reviews
This is to be a series of vignettes/one-shots on ALL possible pairings for characters specified from the Watch arc. Unusual, but I hope it will prove to be an enjoyable and, hopefully, believable insight. Rated as a T but each vignette may differ and will be marked accordingly.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 7,067 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 5/4 - Published: 3/23/2013 - Sam Vimes, Sybil R., Vetinari, Angua
More than Time and Money by zevgirl reviews
Every now and then he touched her, his hand brushing her arm or legs, making intimate contact, and the feelings she'd thought were under control would bubble to the surface. Fear, lust, anxiety, and affection all mingled together with the power of a supernova, like a cleansing fire, healing yet all-consuming. f!Shepard/illusive Man.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 31,966 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 4/13 - Published: 11/28/2012 - [Shepard (F), Illusive Man]
The Black Lion by Kalendeer reviews
"I pledge my life and honor to the Night's Watch, for this night and all the nights to come." When he said the words, Tywin Lannister believed he was free of the South for good. But life in Westeros is unfair, and even the greatest men hardly get what they want. AU.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,256 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 1/6 - Published: 12/9/2014 - Tywin L., Cersei L., Eddard S./Ned, Rhaegar T.
The Arrowhead by tinyfierce reviews
When Hawke is injured, the Arishok brings her to the dockside compound for the duration of her recovery, but how much can they come to understand one another on a time limit? References oneshot Penalty for Winning. Rating may change, 25 chapters total. F!Hawke/Arishok.
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 113,119 - Reviews: 412 - Favs: 694 - Follows: 619 - Updated: 1/4 - Published: 10/31/2011 - Arishok, Hawke (F) - Complete
The Prospectus by A.A. Pessimal reviews
how does the Assassins' Guild School sell itself to prospective parents? How does the place actually work, as a school? How many pupils? What REALLY happens to the ones who flunk out? how does it all fit on its one site? Read on. Thanks to TreacleMineRoad, who indirectly suggested it.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 21,741 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/13/2014 - Published: 5/27/2014 - Lord Downey
Filling the Gap by Sanorace reviews
Blurring the lines between friendship and love, Drumknott tries to find his place in Vetinari's world. Where do the boundaries truly lie?
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,115 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/5/2014 - Published: 12/27/2012 - Drumknott, Vetinari - Complete
The ward of Casterly Rock by Kalendeer reviews
I was ten when I moved to Casterly Rock, following my liege. In my eyes he was the picture of knightly perfection. Then I grew up, and nothing changed.
Game of Thrones - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 34,734 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 4/26/2014 - Published: 2/4/2013 - Tywin L.
Policing Middle Earth by aotearoan reviews
Vimes is Ankh Morpork's Ambassador to Middle Earth. As might be expected from the man who hates kings and Destiny, Middle Earth makes Vimes angry. Will he punch Aragorn in the nose? Will he learn a few things? Tune in for the latest!
Crossover - Discworld & Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 14 - Words: 31,458 - Reviews: 263 - Favs: 262 - Follows: 313 - Updated: 4/19/2014 - Published: 9/7/2010 - Sam Vimes, Aragorn
What The Chemist Sees by mirrorballsymphony reviews
The contraceptive pill comes to Discworld. Protests, arguments and chaos ensues, but who is behind the invention? Rated T for moderate language.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,796 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/18/2014 - Published: 2/21/2014 - OC, Sam Vimes, Vetinari, Mrs. Palm
After Effects by mirrorballsymphony reviews
Sam Vimes was overjoyed when his son was born apart from all the attacking Carcer malarkey and the increased stress levels, but they were worth it just for his son. But the rest of the Watch found the transition hard to cope with.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 4,811 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/24/2014 - Published: 9/8/2013 - Fred C., Carrot, Angua, Sam Vimes
A Half Dead Thing by mirrorballsymphony reviews
'It turned out that the man had a dog, a half-dead thing...and when it growled at him he grabbed an axe from the butcher's table beside him, threw the dog to the ground and cut off its back legs. Just like that.' Vetinari's always bloody right, and when it comes to this case, Vimes is glad he didn't get there first.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,676 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/23/2013 - Angua, Sam Vimes, Carrot, Detritus - Complete
SURPRISES IN UBERWALD by TreacleMineRoad reviews
People always speculate about Vetinari's relationship with Lady Margolotta. This is another one. It is T for mild sexual scene.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,225 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/23/2013 - Lady Margolotta, Vetinari - Complete
The Three Jolly Luck Takeaway Fish Shop in Dagon Street by mirrorballsymphony reviews
The saga of the unfortunate opening, and closing, of Mr Hong's Three Jolly Luck Takeaway Fish Shop on the site of the old fish god temple on Dagon Street during the lunar eclipse, leaving behind a kidney and half an ear hole. The gods play cruel games with some people...
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,436 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/31/2013 - Sam Vimes, Mustrum Ridcully, Death - Complete
Flickering by ohmytheon reviews
(Modern AU) Tywin Lannister gives his condolences to a former student and political rival, Catelyn Stark, after the unexpected death of her husband.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,464 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/12/2013 - Catelyn T., Tywin L. - Complete
Heart In My Hands by OblivionIsAtHand reviews
She had a hard time believing it herself. Dying. Coming back to life. Working for the terrorist organization that once cost her her entire unit... now this. Still, there was nowhere she'd rather be. Done for the kmeme. TIM/Paragon!FemShep, possible other (one-sided) pairings.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,869 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 6/26/2013 - Published: 12/24/2012 - Illusive Man, Shepard (F)
One Last Victory by LoveFromShinola reviews
Tywin, at Joanna's deathbed.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 609 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/2/2013 - Tyrion L., Tywin L. - Complete
The Night Before by LoveFromShinola reviews
Tywin and Joanna, the night before Tyrion's birth.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,313 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/2/2013 - Tyrion L., Tywin L. - Complete
Wizard's First Rule of Marketing by Beth Einspanier reviews
Ponder's niece is about to learn the true secret of
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 702 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/24/2013 - Complete
Hogswatch Drabbles by mirrorballsymphony reviews
A series of drabbles about many of the Discworld characters at Hogswatch, which, of course, is the season to be jolly. And all other things ending with 'olly'.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 3,841 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/20/2013 - Published: 4/29/2013 - GrannyWeatherwax, Nobby N., Vetinari
The Sunny Days Are Over by LoveFromShinola reviews
Cersei muses on her parents and her brother, and that one decision that destroyed their lives forever.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,423 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/4/2013 - Cersei L., Jaime L., Tyrion L., Tywin L. - Complete
A jumped up copper to the nobs by mirrorballsymphony reviews
Sam Vimes thought it was difficult dealing with the upper crust (or scum) of Ankh-Morpork, but at least he doesn't have to grow up with them. Includes Young Sam.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,613 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/28/2013 - Sam Vimes, Angua - Complete
The First Assassin by mirrorballsymphony reviews
A drunken Samuel Vimes, stumbling through the streets of the city, is confronted by a would-be Assassin. Of course, it was Vetinari who sent him. Rated T for really mild violence and my own paranoia.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Crime/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 772 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Published: 4/26/2013 - Sam Vimes, Fred C., Vetinari - Complete
qui nos custodirent custodum by thebookhobbit reviews
Commander Sam Vimes has just lost his job for interfering with his local despotic ruler's nefarious plans too much. Vimes never been anything but a policeman, and is therefore at something of a loss until he's summoned by Havelock Vetinari, retired assassin and known gentleman of mystery. He has has plans for Vimes. Plans that involve...spandex. Superhero AU. Part of Superdisc!
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,381 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/20/2013 - Carrot, Angua, Vetinari, Sam Vimes
Gaze by Mikeala-and-Whitney reviews
Lady Lannister has grown accustomed to silence. AU.
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,833 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/10/2013 - Tywin L., Catelyn T. - Complete
In the heat of battle by mirrorballsymphony reviews
Colon and Nobby meet on the battlefield, and philosophy commences.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,104 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/8/2013 - Fred C., Nobby N. - Complete
The Frog has come to have his say by thecoppercow reviews
Young Downey makes many errors of judgement. Younger Vetinari is surprisingly decent, and Ludo rolls his eyes a lot. Assassin's Guild Era ficlet.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,565 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/4/2013 - Lord Downey, Vetinari - Complete
A Whisper That Could Blow A Chasm Wide by mirrorballsymphony reviews
The story if what could happen if Samuel Vimes died. Includes arguments with Death, Vetinari's eyebrow (in copious amounts) and Nobby Nobbs Investigates, which I'm sure should be made into a TV programme. Rated T for paranoia and an unexploded bosom.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Angst - Chapters: 34 - Words: 47,282 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 4/1/2013 - Published: 1/28/2013 - Nobby N., Angua - Complete
Dance Partner by moonmythology reviews
Oneshot (I think). In a dream-like sequence, Shepard is forced to dance to the Illusive Man's music. Based on TIM's line on the Cerberus logs in ME3: "I'm not looking for a Dance Partner."
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,423 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/15/2013 - Illusive Man, Shepard (F) - Complete
Prologmenon to Revival by DeralianShadow reviews
An in depth look at the dialog that occurs between the Illusive Man and his minions behind the scenes of the Lazarus Project. I wrote this on a whim after my second run through Mass Effect 3. For me, it really filled in gaps, especially if you are a fan of the female Shepard or have recently taken a biochemistry class.
Mass Effect - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,145 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/24/2013 - Illusive Man, Miranda L. - Complete
The Civilian Assistant by A.A. Pessimal reviews
Set just after "Thud!" with Vetinari torn between rewarding the Watch for averting war and punishing it for poaching A.E. Pessimal from his Palace staff. The Patrican, a man known for elegant economy, finds a way of doing both - simultaneously.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 15 - Words: 61,554 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 2/16/2013 - Published: 6/11/2009
Kiss with a Fist by batarians reviews
Prompted by Anonymous on Tumblr. The Illusive Man and Shepard get into an argument over the 'damaged' Collector ship, and what started with a fights ends in something more. M for lemons and language.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,212 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 17 - Published: 1/17/2013 - Shepard (F), Illusive Man
For Ruby by Sanorace reviews
Ruby is a modern troll. She wants more than just the traditional courtship ritual of getting hit on the head with a rock and Detritus will give her anything to prove his love. He makes a promise to bring her a beautiful rock every day. He shows devotion that extends long after marriage and love that endures through his entire life.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 32,813 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/13/2013 - Published: 8/22/2012 - Detritus, Dorfl, Cheery L., Brick
Not So Different After All by Iruka Sensei871 reviews
The Patrician has plans for Vimes, and Vimes knows that can't mean anything good for him. Sam/Syble Vimes/Patrician friendship fic. Fluffy. Patrician is OOC. Slightly AU.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,153 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 9 - Published: 12/18/2012 - Vetinari, Sam Vimes - Complete
Gods and Monsters by batarians reviews
It was the person she'd become. She was cold, hard ice. The Illusive Man had poisoned her, but had the poison always been there?
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,033 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/11/2012 - Published: 11/12/2012 - Shepard (F), Illusive Man
Heartstring Harper by C'nor reviews
Once, she was Anriella Nachtstieg, a mortal musician taken by the Gentry. Now she's Samantha Fairchild, or the Heartstring Harper, as she's known amongst the Lost. A living instrument. This is set in the "Changeling: The Lost" branch of the World of Darkness setting, though so far, all of the characters are original.
White Wolf - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Horror - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,065 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/8/2012 - Published: 9/20/2012
Remus: The Day His World Crumbled by pottermommy1118 reviews
An End of An Era Story. Follows the legacy storyline. Oneshot 3/3. The moment Remus found out that his best friend was gone, the moment the marauders ceased to be.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,230 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/23/2012 - Remus L., James P. - Complete
Looking Down by Sanorace reviews
The day of the wedding, Sam almost committed murder. The night of the wedding, Sam couldn't bring himself to touch his new wife. But something other than guilt is stopping him. A buried trauma bars him from giving Sybil the intimacy she deserves.
Discworld - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 47,817 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 11/14/2012 - Published: 8/21/2012 - Sam Vimes, Sybil R. - Complete
Cancer Man by Super Secret Siha reviews
Cross-Posted on the kmeme. In The Illusive Man's final moments, he remembers what changed him. Rated M for coarse language, violence, and sexual content. Bioware owns all.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,173 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 11/10/2012 - Published: 9/21/2012 - Shepard (F), Illusive Man
Tyrants and Terriers by Lost timemachine reviews
A collection of short stories revolving around the relationship between Havelock Vetinari and Samuel Vimes. All of these stories are set in the future. Contains assassination attempts, kidnappings and quiet, instrospective conversations.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,902 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 9/25/2012 - Published: 3/26/2012 - Sam Vimes, Vetinari
Bright Shadows by Sanorace reviews
When Vetinari forces Vimes into the world of the Guarding Dark, Sybil must find a way to bring them back safely. Uncover the secret to the age old mystery of how the Patrician survives with so little sleep. Guest starring: Mrs. Cake, the Summoning Dark, the Guarding Dark, Dr. Lawn, Young Sam, Dorfl, Willikins, Corporal Ping, Adora Dearheart, Lipwig, and Drumknott.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 51,213 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 9/24/2012 - Published: 8/22/2012 - Sybil R., Vetinari, Sam Vimes, Dr. Lawn
Good Girl by Sanorace reviews
Carrot and Angua share a moment of extreme uncertainty. Furry Warning.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,493 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/13/2012 - Angua, Carrot - Complete
You Did Nothing by Sanorace reviews
Death sets out to find the difference between killing and murder. Sequel to either Ten Minutes of Your Time and/or Little Susan. It can also be read alone. Minor link to Bright Shadows. Includes: Susan, Vetinari, Vimes, Lobsang Ludd, and Death
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,396 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/29/2012 - Vetinari, Death, Lobsang L. - Complete
Why is It ? by Witch fang reviews
It's not quite a question, or even a conversation, but there's the hint that maybe there could be. Vimes/Vetinari
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,015 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 8/27/2012 - Vetinari, Sam Vimes
Many Happy Returns by productionsoftime reviews
It was Murphy's birthday and for once, I had a plan. It wasn't a good plan- let's not say that. It didn't involve flowers or balloons or people shouting, "Surprise!" all at once when the lights came on. You just don't do that to a woman as quick on the draw as Murph. It ain't safe.
Dresden Files - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,876 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 22 - Published: 8/16/2012 - H. Dresden, K. Murphy
My Favorite Thing by beautifulXflowerXJo reviews
What if the conversation between Alice and The Hatter before Alice went through the Looking Glass had gone differently? An alternate ending to SyFy Alice.
Alice, 2009 - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,047 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/6/2012 - [Alice H., Hatter] - Complete
Speculations by Mondschaf reviews
Lady Margolotta and Lord Vetinari's relationship turns out to be a bit more complex than it might seem at first glance. After all, they are politicians.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,000 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 8/2/2012 - Published: 7/11/2012 - Lady Margolotta, Vetinari
Keeping Them Honest by MaybeIfI reviews
When Vetinari dies and Moist is named his successor, William de Worde finds it necessary to give the new Patrician a little extra push. Also featuring Otto von Chriek, Adora Belle Dearheart, and Lord de Worde. Now with added Epilogue featuring Vetinari, Death, and Heretofore.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,184 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/25/2012 - Published: 7/8/2012 - William de W., Moist von L.
Just Before The Dawn by Equestrienne Dreams reviews
The darkest hour is just before the dawn. On the night before their wedding, Barbara and Tommy lay old fears to rest. Lynley/Havers.
Inspector Lynley Mysteries - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,722 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/8/2012 - Barbara H., Thomas L. - Complete
Somewhere In My Secret Heart by Equestrienne Dreams reviews
Love manages. Or: Barbara And Tommy Have A Very Necessary Talk About Their Future. Lynley/Havers.
Inspector Lynley Mysteries - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 838 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/27/2012 - Barbara H., Thomas L. - Complete
The Map of Her Skin by skybound2 reviews
She calls them freckles, the little spots of darker toned skin that decorate her face. He traces the path they take, over the slope of her nose and across the bones of her cheeks. - Takes place after ME3 but no real spoilers.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 615 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/19/2012 - Garrus V., Shepard (F) - Complete
Life Lessons by foxeye10 reviews
A collection of lessons the Discworld characters have taught us.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 456 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/13/2012 - Published: 12/14/2011
You Must Meet My Wife by Tricki reviews
She lightens his sadness and livens his days, and Thomas Lynley cannot bring himself to regret the most rash decision he has ever made. L/H
Inspector Lynley Mysteries - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,875 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/11/2012 - Thomas L., Barbara H. - Complete
Lord Havelock Vetinari by Master Of All Imagination reviews
A character study, I suppose, of one of my favorite Discworld figures. And since I know you all love him too, why not take a look? Posted on a whim.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 522 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/18/2011 - Vetinari - Complete
Bleak Midwinter by Ash Light reviews
1168: Brothers Oswin and Jerome are left struggling in the wake of two deaths at Shrewsbury Abbey.
Cadfael - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,108 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/30/2011 - Complete
To Protect Something by Teriyaki Teriyaki reviews
In Joe's last moments before being shut down he contemplates the meaning of protecting the you care about and David.
A.I. - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 797 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 4/18/2011
Basalit an by SquidEmpire reviews
Depressed and alone after Fenris left her, Hawke finds comfort in the least likely of people. MA/NSFW FHawke/Arishok
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,078 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/14/2011 - Hawke (M), Arishok - Complete
The Nine Lives of Felicia by Plaited Oodleplexes reviews
Just a fluffy bit of sentimentality. Death has come to collect Felicia for the last time.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,393 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Published: 4/9/2011 - Death - Complete
No More Time For These Trousers by A.A. Pessimal reviews
In "Going Postal", there is the incidental detail that Tolliver Groat's appalling trousers were so dangerous they had to be safely disposed of. But who provided the bomb disposal squad? Read on...
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,714 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/22/2011
Feegles in Middle Earth part 3: Feegles VS Balrog by Nimbus Llewelyn reviews
The third installment in a series of one shots about the Feegles marauding through ME. I own nothing you recognise. Please R&R.
Crossover - Discworld & Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 515 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/11/2011 - Rob Anybody, Gandalf - Complete
Into the Shining Sun by skybound2 reviews
Everyone has a beginning, even the Illusive Man.
Mass Effect - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,313 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/17/2011 - Illusive Man - Complete
Beautiful Predator by BlueSteelRanger reviews
From an Alternate Universe, the dagger belonging to Montgomery Scott lies on its table and ponders. Inanimate objects cannot think or speak...can they? Mirror Universe based on an arc by SLWatson
StarTrek: The Original Series - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 761 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/30/2010 - M. Scott - Complete
Awkward Names by CreativeTitle reviews
Sam Jr is questioning his Daddy about names. Enjoy
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 195 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Published: 12/30/2010 - Sam Vimes, Lord Downey - Complete
These Small Hours by Linxcat reviews
Lipwig flashed an instinctive smile at the comment and made a noise that was somewhere between a laugh and a cough. Despite himself, concern filled Vimes. What the hell had got the fastest mouth this side of the Disc so tongue-tied?
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,308 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/14/2010 - Sam Vimes, Moist von L. - Complete
Thicker Than Water by TMOHzone reviews
Just before his hanging, Carcer receives a visitor. A much-extended and altered version of an old drabble.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 961 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/11/2010 - Carcer - Complete
Of the Gold Clad Behinds of Patricians by Linxcat reviews
Moist had never addressed a crowd this big before. He'd never been in a position of such authority without the oddly reassuring notion that if he made a total prat of himself and messed everything up, Vetinari would just hang him. Again.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,523 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/30/2010 - Moist von L. - Complete
Death's Biggest Fan by Rincer of Winds reviews
Death for reasons unknown to me has recived a lifetimer from a girl on Earth. How will he react to meeting someone who is actually glad to see him? Note: he's on a human kick again. Rated K because it's really got nothing bad. Death and OC oneshot.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 885 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/18/2010 - Death - Complete
Stranger In a Strange Land by Loki's Scribe reviews
Coppers are coppers everywhere. And Vimes knows at least one in Klatch, which is useful on occasion.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 556 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/6/2010 - Sam Vimes, 71-hour Ahmed - Complete
Pokers, Swords and Lifetimers by duchess-susan reviews
Susan meets Teatime again, because of Death's good intentions. Then the Afterlife gets involved.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 9,144 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 3/29/2010 - Published: 3/19/2010 - Susan Sto Helit, Jonathan T. - Complete
Phule's Gold by Zefyria Nuva reviews
Phule and Beeker have a short discussion on the value of family and fool's gold. /Chronology - Phule's Company. Oneshot; potential to continue.\
Robert Asperin - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 830 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/27/2010 - Complete
Feegles in Middle Earth part 2 by Nimbus Llewelyn reviews
They're back, and causing more mayhem! Please R&R.
Crossover - Discworld & Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 573 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/27/2010 - Rob Anybody, Elrond - Complete
Past His Guard by Morwen Tindomerel reviews
What's going on in Vetinari's mind - and briefly Vimes' - during a couple of scenes of 'Feet of Clay'.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,394 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/15/2010 - Published: 12/4/2008 - Complete
And Death was his constant companion by Nimbus Llewelyn reviews
Death meets Lord of the Rings, to put it simply. Please Read and Review.
Crossover - Discworld & Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 658 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/12/2010 - Death, Aragorn
Feegles in Middle earth by Nimbus Llewelyn reviews
As it says on the tin.
Crossover - Discworld & Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 223 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/7/2010 - Complete
Dragon problems, again by Nimbus Llewelyn reviews
Laurence and Temeraire end up in Ankh-Morpork. Will they fall afoul of the street mob, Vetinari or more importantly Vimes? rated for future swearing on the part of vimes and other watchmen. Discontinued and adopted by Elizabeth Bower.
Crossover - Discworld & Temeraire - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 619 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/7/2010 - Sam Vimes - Complete
The Next Best Thing by Morwen Tindomerel reviews
How the events of Lords and Ladies worked out for Esme and Mustrum Weatherwax. Yes I said Weatherwax, don't you know witches' husbands always take their wife's surname?
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,006 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 7 - Published: 5/15/2009
Some Things End by Morwen Tindomerel reviews
A tearjerker, my nose is still dripping, about Mort and Ysabell and Death.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 441 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 3/7/2009 - Complete
A Hogswatch Story by Twist reviews
Hogswatch in the Vimes household, complete with antisocial godfather. Merry Christmas, kids.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,785 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 11 - Published: 12/25/2007 - Complete
Hardboiled by Estelle Tiniwiel reviews
Lord Vetinari receives news of a long expected event. Unfortunately, the news is less than positive.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,716 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/24/2007 - Complete
Uncle Havelock? by Ficus-Avenger reviews
Featuring a drunken Downey, a bored Vetinari and a very persistant Young Sam. What else would you need to know?
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,997 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/19/2007 - Complete
The scones strike back by MysticShadowcat reviews
Magical accidents happen in the Unseen University every day. And sometimes they have interesting outcomes.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,478 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/11/2007 - Complete
A Measure of Tyranny by TheMidgetBee reviews
A barbarian hero has arrived in a city under the thrall of an evil tyrant with the intention of freeing it once and for all. Unfortunately, he picked AnkhMorpork...
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 13,735 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1/24/2007 - Published: 11/29/2006 - Complete
Psychological Warfare by MysticShadowcat reviews
Vetinari talks Vimes into a game of Thud...Contains minor spoilers for Thud!, Lords and Ladies and Jingo
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,675 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/13/2007 - Complete
Education for the Watch by MysticShadowcat reviews
Vetinari thinks Vimes and his men are not educated enough to be public servants. Now they have to attend classes he organized for them. Complete
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 7,140 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/19/2006 - Published: 10/11/2006 - Complete
The One Question by MysticShadowcat reviews
A short Discworld FanFiction featuring Angua, Carrot and Mrs Cake. And a major problem: The one question.Based on 'Feet of Clay' and a little bit on 'Reaper Man'.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 514 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/3/2006 - Complete
A Matter of Advertising by Mind in the Ankh reviews
Vetinari meets an old friend through the magic of L-space. Machiavelli's fish and chips stand doesn't stand a chance. Crossover with Lord of the Rings. Chapter 5: Finduilas is most upset with the Patrician.
Crossover - Discworld & Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,925 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/9/2006 - Published: 1/26/2005 - Vetinari, Denethor - Complete
In A Name by afrai reviews
Vetinari fixes what isn't broken. Slash if you squint.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,293 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/21/2005 - Complete
In Delirium, Drumknott by Drummers reviews
Lord Vetinari is delirious. Delirious men do strange things, Drumknott will find out... (Finished!)
Discworld - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,834 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/13/2005
Goody Two Shoes by Drummers reviews
A party at the Patrician's... Boredom... Inquisitive prying into private matters... And what do you do when your wife walks in? [SLASH!Finished]
Discworld - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,743 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 18 - Published: 4/5/2005
A Fine Figure in a Nightdress by Merrymoll reviews
(Sequel to "Night on the Tiles"). The return of Mildred Easy, who has to cope with International Diplomacy, an amorous vampire and dusting...
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 15,093 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 10/9/2004 - Published: 3/5/2004
A Night on the Tiles by Merrymoll reviews
Chivalry, Vetinari style, with a maid in the wrong place at the wrong time and some rooftop gallivanting. Now finished!
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,598 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/12/2004 - Published: 11/8/2003 - Complete
The Detective and the Diplomat by Beth Einspanier reviews
Two mysteries. Two of the greatest minds in the multiverse. One variable. Oh bugger... Sherlock Holmes - Discworld crossover FINISHED!
Crossover - Discworld & Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery - Chapters: 22 - Words: 34,796 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 11/14/2003 - Published: 2/13/2003
Real by samvimes reviews
Captain Sam Vimes is tired, hung over, and can't remember what he did the night before. And what's that bandage doing on his arm...?
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,592 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 11 - Published: 7/20/2003
Either Way by samvimes reviews
The fire in Ankh-Morpork is nearly out; from the foothills, Vimes and Vetinari contemplate the city.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,890 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 41 - Published: 3/25/2003
The Piecemaker by samvimes reviews
A Commander's Inspection, a troll's invention, and a Patrician in the right place at the right time...
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,915 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 38 - Published: 3/6/2003 - Complete
Owed by samvimes reviews
Rosie made a promise to John Keel about young Sam Vimes, and got her reward...but not in a way either of them expected.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,945 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/3/2003
The Great Morporkian Pastime by samvimes reviews
The City Watch and the University go up against each other in the Discworld's first-ever baseball game...
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,401 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/21/2003
Patterns by samvimes reviews
Vimes faces up to some interesting truths about the Watch.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,393 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/12/2003
Homecoming by samvimes reviews
Sequel to 'Some Buggers'. There's a surprise in store for the widow Vimes...
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,182 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/9/2003
The Sixpence Opera by samvimes reviews
Watchmen and Rogues! Lords, Ladies, Diurse Alarums, and Nobby in a dress. Just the notes for an imaginary musical.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,998 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/6/2003 - Published: 1/30/2003
Some Buggers by samvimes reviews
Sam Vimes knows something nobody else is willing to believe...
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,039 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/2/2003
Curtains by samvimes reviews
Dinner at Harga's and a burning question on Vimes' mind...
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,095 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/1/2003
The Birthday Present by samvimes reviews
Havelock Vetinari, previous to becoming Patrician, makes the wisest purchase of his life.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,112 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/25/2003
The Carving Lesson by samvimes reviews
Lance-Constable Vimes is badly surprised during a visit to Small Gods' Graveyard...
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,563 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 22 - Published: 1/23/2003
A Homiehood Hogswatch by Twist reviews
Sybil, Downey and Rust are on a mission. The mission? Teach Havelock Vetinari the true meaning of Hogswatch. Preseason posting. Feel special.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,632 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/24/2002 - Complete
Anthropomorphism by Twist reviews
Having a mortal body's a bugger, isn't it?
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,235 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/28/2002 - Complete
Lalahahala Juice by JadeDragoness reviews
[Slash] Vimes has to deal with a Vetinari who is hyper, drugged, and horny. HUMOR FIC.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,791 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/24/2002
The End by JadeDragoness reviews
Slash. Set in the other leg of the Trousers of Time developed in Jingo. It's what happened to Vetinari.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,562 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 16 - Published: 4/14/2002
Long Dark Night by Mistress Arion reviews
Havelock Vetinari is kidnapped and tortured, leaving Sam Vimes to examine his real feelings for the Patrician. WARNING: SLASH SLASH SLASH, implied non-con, implied torture. If you don't like the idea of Vimes/Vetinari, DON'T READ THIS. (There, you've been
Discworld - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 11,977 - Reviews: 119 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/12/2001
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Discworld Disney Days
A series of drabbles based on songs from various musicals. From Disney movies to Camelot, from Pirates of Penzance to Fiddler on the Roof, give me a song and I'll write a drabble for the recommended character (or find one for it).
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 522 - Published: 2/3 - Carrot, Death, Vetinari, Sam Vimes
Zehir's Choice
Zehir has a problem: he's in love. With a half-orc. Who wants to be a wizard. Who is also 1/4 djiin. Besides the orc racism of the other wizards, the Griffin Empire is acting oddly, the orc slaves are rebelling, there are demon cultists, and necromancers are killing the latter. Oh yes, and they hate each other. Why can't life ever be simple?
Heroes of Might and Magic - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,074 - Published: 5/2/2014 - Zehir, OC, Raelag, Alaric
Dragons and Watchmen and Tyrants, Oh My! reviews
Well, Laurence and Temeraire are in Ankh-Morpork. And unfortunately for them, they need the help of the local Watch and the local tyrant. They also need the help of a certain group of wizards, a witch, and Death. Rated for language on the part of Vimes and Watch. Credit Nimbus for idea, Pratchett for characters, and Miss Novik as well.
Crossover - Discworld & Temeraire - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,347 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 3/9/2014 - Published: 7/31/2012 - Sam Vimes, Vetinari, Mustrum Ridcully, Death
Trapped or Enraptured? reviews
It started as a study of her...as an interest in psychology. Or so he still told himself. It wasn't that he'd found her attractive, he'd known many attractive women who had not affected him so. It had been something special about her. Her idealism. The Illusive Man lies dying, and reflects on his time spent with Maria Shepard. Rated actually MA for sex and other adult themes.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,146 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 2/20/2014 - Published: 2/16/2014 - Illusive Man, Shepard (F), Zaeed M., Joker
End of an Age reviews
An assassination attempt on our favorite benevolent dictator, Vetinari, has been...loosely speaking, successful. He's dying, and it's going to be awhile. And, by his bedside, sits His Grace Sir Samuel Vimes. A brief set of scenes detailing Vetinari's last days, one way they could happen. Read, enjoy, review! Rated T for anything that might happen.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,669 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/2/2013 - Published: 7/18/2012 - Vetinari, Sam Vimes, Willikins
Young Assassins reviews
It wasn't characteristic, not overtly anyway. But she had saved his life, and he would repay her in full. Just as they had for three years. As close as they were, it was merely a friendship. Vetinari saves the life of a friend a few days after Snapcase's rise to the Patriciancy. And his journey through life with her.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,602 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/2/2013 - Published: 1/1/2013 - Vetinari, Mad Lord Snapcase, Lady Margolotta
The Case of the Incredibly Dark Minds reviews
An old foe has raised his ugly head on the Disc yet again, and it's up to Sam Vimes, now in his mid-fifties, to save the Disc yet again from wrongdoers. Set almost everywhere on the Disc (especially the Circle Sea), this humorous mystery will balance serious crimes with situational irony and puns. So enjoy Vimes as he takes over the role of Sherlock Holmes on the Disc!
Crossover - Discworld & Sherlock Holmes - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,389 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/2/2012 - Published: 10/15/2012 - Sam Vimes, 71-hour Ahmed, Vetinari, Prof. Moriarty
Was it Something I Said? reviews
What was it Vetinari said? Well, whatever it was, Vimes has hauled off and punched him. A short scene where Vimes punches Vetinari, and describing the ensuing fight and hospital trip. Enjoy! Reviews and advice totally welcome!
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,626 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/13/2012 - Published: 7/13/2012 - Sam Vimes, Vetinari - Complete