Rayne Mitchaelis
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Joined 07-11-12, id: 4122281, Profile Updated: 07-20-13
Author has written 1 story for Kuroshitsuji.

My name is Rayne Mitchaelis

favorite anime:

Black butler

favorite manga/manhwa:

Barajou no Kiss,Kuroshitsuji,Tokyo Innocent and others

name: s'a secret

age:13

Gender: female

i live in west virginia

stuff i like:

reading,soccer,reading,piano,swimming,other stuff, oh and did i mention reading


FRIENDS:Lend you their umbrella

BEST FRIENDS:Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS:Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS:Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS:Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you saying "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME"

FRIENDS:Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS:Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you’re not down anymore.

FRIENDS:Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS:Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS:Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS:Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS:Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS:Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS:Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS:Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS:Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS:You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS:Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS:Will comfort you when the guy rejects you

BEST FRIENDS:Will go up to him and say 'its because your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS:Would ignore this letter

BEST FRIENDS:Will repost this crappp!

When life gives you lemons... Make orange juice and let the world wonder how the hell you did it!

Missing somebody? Call.

-Wanna meet up? Invite.

-Wanna be understood? Explain.

-Have questions? Ask.

- Don't like something? Say it.

- Like something? State it.

- Want something? Ask for it.

- Love someone? Tell.

Month one

Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile

This is a story about a little girl that was abused. If you care at all, copy and paste this into your profile:

My name is Sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made my daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up all the day long When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark; my folks aren't home. When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just one whipping tonight Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back from Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse; my name he calls I press myself against the wall. I try and hide from his evil eyes I'm so afraid now; I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping he shouts ugly words, He says its my fault that he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me and yells at me more, I finally get free and I run for the door. He's already locked it and I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me against the hard wall. I fall to the floor with my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues with more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream... but its now much too late His face has been twisted into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain again and again Oh, please God, have mercy! Oh please, let it end! And he finally stops and heads for the door, While I lay there motionless; sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah and I am but three, Tonight my daddy, murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Yes I am a girl and I hate Justin Bieber... post this to your profile if you agree

If you read your own stories or profile just for the heck of it,copy and paste this to your profile

If you think too much swearing is unnecesary,copy and paste this to your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like to write, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like Copy & Paste stuff,copy and paste this into your profile

I am not that girl, The one that is super popular. The one that is rich. The one obsessed with Twilight. The one that will lie to get her way. The one that doesn't care about your feelings. The one that wears her Team Edward or Team Jacob shirt proudly. The one that has a new boyfriend every week. The one that hates her life because she wears size-two jeans. The one that would cry over a boy. The one that loves Justin Bieber. The one that will give up because she broke a nail. The one that started wearing makeup at nine years old.

BUT

I am that girl, The one who likes books more than boys. The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy. The one who reads and writes to escape. The one who just wants to help. The one that really wants to make a difference. The one that sticks to her values. The one that doesn't look at race or homosexuality. The one that cries when she feels alone and helpless; it only shows she's strong. The one that knows she's beautiful, no matter what others say. The one that refuses to believe that this is it. The one that doesn't care if she eats too many cinnamon buns...they taste good. The one that people like, because she's crazy. The one that doesn't care if she looks like a retard, because if looking like a retard is what it takes, go for it. The one that will do anything to make a better tomorrow. The one who won't give in. The one won't give up.

There are some really sad things in our world, and some people make things that spread the word about these things, but through fear. I don't want to say things like 'now that you've read this, you must copy and paste or you will die', but these fright tactics are what people use to raise awareness and shock you into doing things. I don't want to have depressing things in my profile, but really care. If you do to, then please, copy and paste. You'll be doing the world a favour.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

"The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Paste this on your profile if this touched your heart if it didn't than you have one cold heart

1) I need to tell you a secret. go to 5
2) the answer is... go to 11
3) don't get angry. go to 15
4) calm down don't get frustrated. go to 13
5) first go to 2
6) don't be angry just go to 12
7) I just wanted to say hi
8) what I wanted to tell you is...is on 14
9) Be patient and go to 4
10) this is the last time I'm going to send you to a number. go to 7
11) I hope ur not annoyed when I say this...but go to 6
12) sorry out of order. go to 8
13) don't get mad just yet...go to 10
14) I don't know how to say this but... go to 3
15) You must be really bored so go to 9

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you

10 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity.

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 3. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 4. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds" 5. Whenever Stating a Fact, Add 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'. 6. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 7. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 8. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood. 9. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 10. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!!

If you believe some teachers are seriously prejudiced, copy and paste this to your profile.

If several inanimate objects just seem to hate you (STUPID LOCKER!) copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think having wings would be one of the COOLEST THINGS EVER, copy this to your profile.

If you are sometimes anti-social, but still really personable, copy this to your profile.

If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this to your profile

If you are anti kikyouXinuyasha fan and wish kikyou would just die already... copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie, TV show, etc. so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever pushed on a door marked pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever fallen down the stairs, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that life without computers is worthless, copy this to your profile.

I'm bored... If your bored, then copy and paste this to your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you said it, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix already, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets excited when you get like 2 reviews, copy and paste this to your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. When you argue with yourself and LOSE is when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could live in a story, copy and paste this to your profile.

Touching stories and I mean toughing People If these don't touch yor heart please get off my profile or just go read my stories.

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books.I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.' He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!' There was a big smile on his face.It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes.We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!' He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation.I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great.He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days.I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 'Thanks,' he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, 'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.' I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 'Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.' I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. You now have two choices, you can:

1) Put this on your profile or 2) Forget you read this and act like it didn't touch your heaRt

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Calls your parents "Mrs." and "Mr." BEST FRIENDS: Calls your parents Mom and Dad

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Give you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Help themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"( This is probably my fave one!)

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that! Don't waste good alchohal!

A friend: will help me find my way when I'm lost.

A best friend: will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

A friend: will help me learn to drive.

A best friend: will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

A friend: will watch my pets when I go away.

A best friend: won't let me go away without them.

A friend: will go to a concert with me.

A best friend: will kidnap the band with me.

A good friend: hides me from the cops.

A best friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place.

A good friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public.

A best friend: is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this. BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this!

yes i did post some of this twice. git over it.

Random crap that seems funny!! Seriously FUNNY! :)

Smile. It makes the world wonder what you're up to.

Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.

Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.

Be yourself. That's crazy enough.

You always get whats coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver. I guess I can settle for second place.

They say guns don't kill people. People kill people. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled, "BANG!" i don't think you'd kill many people. (Unless you're Deidara. And have explosives.)

Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.

I have animal magnetism-- when I go outside, squirrels stick to my sleeves.

The trouble with real life is that there is no background music

I have not lost my mind; its backed up on a disk somewhere

Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.

Forecast for tonight: darkness

If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do?

I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

How come when you mix water with sugar, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go?

If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.

Hell is full of musical amateurs

There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line

I'm not random I just have many thoughts

I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes

-sticks hand in electric box- CHIDORI!!

If you had a life you would stop talking about mine

We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking

The below statement is true

The above statement is false

Heaven doesn't want me there and Hell knows I'll take over.(With my Master of course!)

Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner.

People are like slinkies. Basically useless and yet its so amusing to watch them fall down stairs

In a world of cheerios, be a frootloop!

Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later.

God must love stupid people...he made so many

There is no great genius without a mixture of madness

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.

Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor.

PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a bitch.

If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

I'm mature and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah nah!

Eat healthy. Work right. Die anyway.

I have a dream and in it, something eats you.

Its sad your own mom dresses you like that.

Everyone is beautiful on the inside. If you think bones and guts are beautiful.

Its always funny until someone gets hurt. Then its hysterical

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems

If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the hell are you scared?!

I called Sasuke gay and he hit me with his purse.

I met Nicole Richie!! No wait, that might've been a twig...

Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a barbie doll.

If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.

I know KUNG-FU and 42 other dangerous words

Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh its a secret!

Quick, whats the number for 9-1-1?

You should always proofread what you write in case you any words.

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a better conversation than you.

I ran into my ex today. Then I put it in reverse and hit him again.

By the time you finished reading this you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life

I burst laughing out in class today...I got that joke you told yesterday

Hi! I'm human. What're you?

Have you considered suing your brain for non-support?

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass!

Everyone has a right to be ugly, but you're abusing that privilege.

If we were to kill everyone who thought you were stupid, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!

I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!

Wherever there is life there is love I may not be perfect but at least I'm confident

Sometimes all we need are each other Life is like a circle. No wonder I'm so dizzy.

Yeah I'm a loser, but I'm the coolest loser you'll ever meet

A friend would call you a retard but a best friend would call you one and act like one with you.

Boy break hearts so why don't we break their necks?

One night, I looked up into the sky. I began counting the reasons why I love you. I was doing great until I ran out of stars.

When they laugh, we'll laugh along too. Because we know better. We know.

I wanted to send you something SEXY... but the mail man told me to get out of the mail box...

When you call us BITCHES we just look at each other and crack up, because we knew that WAAAAAAAAAAY BEFORE YOU DID!

Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars and thought to myself, WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CEILING!?

Am I pissing you off-fa-fa?

We are the people our parents warned us about!

If I promise not to kill you... can I have a hug?

Some people are like slinkies... they're really good for nothing! But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs! ( )

I don't have a short attention span, I just... Oh look a kitty!

I love this RETARD I call my BEST FRIEND!!

I didn't hit you... I simply high-fived your face!

Exactly how much fun can I have before I go to hell?

If I had half a mind..I would still be smarter than you!!

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drank my water!

All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege.

MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!

Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run--he hates that.

Come to the dark side. We have cookies.

In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.

In the play Hamlet, Hamlet says to be or not to be that is the question. What I wanna know is... whats the answer?

The word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" means "blood-sucking creatures."

Light travels faster than sound. That is why...some people seem bright until you hear them speak.

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"

Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

You're stupid, I'm stupid, but at least we're stupid together. It'd be too confusing if one of us were smart.

60 AWESOME WAYS TO MAKE YOUR TEACHER PISSED OR WANT TO BACK-HAND YOU! Or Smile and laugh so hard you think they should go to the hospital, causing you to back away slowly...

1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as you walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)

2. After everything your teacher says, ask why continuously.

3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG??” very loudly.

4. If your teacher starts blowing up at you for saying that, simply reply, “wow I can tell you’re a blast at parties”

5. Sit in a corner and wait for everyone to stare at you. When they do, grab your head and scream “ THE LIGHT! MAKE IT STOP! ARGH IT BURNS!!”

6. Flick pieces of paper around the class.

7. When your teacher tells you to stop, cross your arms and say, “Your racist against paper aren’t you.”

8. Don’t do your Homework.

9. When your teacher asks you why you didn’t do your homework say “I dropped it while beating up this guy for saying you’re the worst teacher ever.” then sit there and smile sweetly.

10. When you have a supply teacher, wait for them to write their name on the board. Then when they say hello my name is Mr./Mrs (insert name here), you stand up and say “PROVE IT!”

11. When your teacher asks why you were late say, “My goldfish died.” Then burst into tears.

12. When handing in your homework, write "This paper will self-destruct in 5 seconds." at the bottom.

13. When you leave the class bow and say, “May the force be with you, young one.”

14. When the teacher turns the light off, start singing opera as loud as you can. When they turn the light back on, look around pretending to be confused.

15. Whisper to the person next to you. When the teacher comes up behind you, scream “OMG! GET AWAY! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!!”

16. Walk into class dancing the Macarena

17. Tell your teacher you heard the other teachers talking about him/her in the staff room

18. Raise your hand and say "I totally agree!" after everything your teacher says

19. Spend the whole lesson trying to lick your elbow

20. Speak in French.

21. Come late to class in a Spider-Man costume; say there was "a disturbance”

22. When they tell someone to turn around have everyone in class do it as well

23. "The homework’s due now? Oh, give me a minute then."

24. Hand in an essay where every word is misspelt.

25. Run in the room screaming, “THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!”

26. When the teacher asks you why you are late, say, “The queen is never late, everyone else is simply early."

27. When a teacher asks you a question, say, “I’m sorry, the brain you tried to reach has been disconnected, please leave me alone or try again later, thank you.”

28. When the teacher turns on the overhead projector, scream “AAH MY EYES!!”

29. Tell yourself knock-knock jokes, then laugh loads.

30. Hide under your desk and yell “THE SKY IS FALLING!”

31. When someone knocks on the door, shout “OH NO, THEY’RE COMING FOR ME!”

32. Bring in a 7th Grader and says he’s your new pet.

33. In your technology lesson, when the teacher asks you what you are making, say a nuclear bomb.

34. When your teacher asks you a question, just stare at them.

35. Constantly talk to yourself in a low voice.

36. Purposely fall off your chair and make a big scene about it.

37. If you’re playing a really boring game, make a big deal if you win.

38. Glue all their scissors together.

39. Make paperclip jewellery. I.e. necklaces, earrings, etc…

40. Pull out one strand of someone’s hair and yell “DNA!”

41. Wear a sticker or a badge that says ‘I am retarded’

42. Talk to a pen.

43. Put your hand up in a test and wait for your teacher to come over. When they whisper what’s wrong, yell “NO I WON’T MAKE OUT WITH YOU AFTER CLASS!”

44. Yell “LIAR!” to everything they say.

45. Smile. All the time.

46. Draw a tiny black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, “It’s spreading, IT’S SPREADING!”

47. When a supply teacher is taking the register, say everyone is missing. Then, if they ask who you are, say ‘Your worst Nightmare’

48. When you know the answer, bounce up and down and go "OOOHH I KNOW THIS!!"

49. When a teacher calls on you say, "I forgot." To every question she asks.

50. If you have to blow your nose in class, blow your nose to the tune of your favourite song.

51. When the teacher is not facing you, get the whole class to move their desks forward towards the him/her!

52. Hum throughout the lesson, but make sure you do not get caught!53. When a teacher asks you a question... Reply "ERM, COMPUTER SAYS NOOO!!"

54. When the teacher makes a statement, stand boldly and shout "I OBJECT!!"

55. REPEAT the last word the teacher says but say it much louder!

56. While the teachers back is turned, everyone swaps seats!

57. If you are sure you haven't passed the test, write your phone number at the end with a heart!

58. When you hear a Police car siren from outside, run around screaming in the classroom shouting "Oh no, they're here. Oh my god. Shit. Shit. Shit. What do I do? Miss/Sir you have to help me! Oh god. They must have found the body! HELP!"

59. When it's your turn to answer a question... Shout "NEXT!"

60. Show them this list

If If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, EmmettCullenFan, Bella Masen Cullen, Me Love Edward Cullyou, SilverMoonArcher,forbiddenkitsunegoddess13, Howl To The Moon, Nayeli, mochiusagi, darkablino, Sabaku no Koneko, NarutoUno2, AkatsukiMemberWoolfy, Keono, Akatsuki4Ever303, AkatsukiMemberShiro, Rayne Mitchaelis are obsessed with Fan Fictions.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong

A dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest, honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for; because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid. (Captain Jack Sparrow)

Love vs. Sex

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God?

Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly believe in God..

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what... and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you. I bet 93 percent of you people that read this won't repost

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism

THINGS TO DO ON AN ELEVATOR

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

35 Things to do when your in Walmart! (I love this!!)

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one.

17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.

18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.

19. Start a fish-stick fight.

20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruf shampoo you recommended.

21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"

22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf.

23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."

24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store.

25. Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines.

26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.

27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..."

28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk". (this works best if you love Twilight, and don't try with Maximum Ride)

29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught.

30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket.

31. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs.

32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts.

33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.

34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section.

35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyramid

Farmers Life insurance: does that mean you get paid when you die?

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

And God(CARLISLE) said "Let there be Edward,"...and it was gooooood

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

Happiness is like a disease, contagious by touch...POKE! :D

Taps persons head Do I hear an echo?

I'm not insane!!...Just normally this way...

SELL YOUR SOUL...for a cupcake!

...was I supposed to say something?

I'm 100 focus-...ooooo look at the pretty butterfly...!

Gravity is my greatest enemy o.0

Looks at homework That's it! Screw college, I'm going into the fast food buisness!

It's not a lie! It's just an exadguration of a non-fiction statement...

Most people will think I'm reading...but i'm really looking at the book with a blank expression

It's not that I dislike you...I just...hate people

Crushes are like puppies; cute when they follow you around... but when you throw a stick they won't leave!!

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling

When I am at Hogwarts I will not sing: "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorious. But not so much tastey!

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

I agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I'm right 98 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile,but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone.

"Doctors say I have multiple personalties. We disagree with that."

"When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did."

"It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with."

"I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do, kill me?"

Put this in your profile if you know a person or two who needs to get squished by a bus... or Tyler Crowley's van

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together."

"Education is important, school however, is another matter."

"Don’t mess with me - I've got a stick."

"Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable."

"Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't."

"I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either."

"1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you."

"Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls."

"Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped."

"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'"

"He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it. She Said: You wear pants don't you?"

"Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that."

"Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over."

"You know your addicted when Volterra is added to your computer dictionary."

"Whoever said that nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door."

"I'm the kind of girl who falls and apologizes for it."

"I do not suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it."

"I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on."

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you're on of the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy and paste this into your profile. EcoliandDahChihuahua, Flower of the Desert, Blue Tiger-chan, BleedingSaro, Neji's fangirl, Kawazoe Michiyo, kamiry, hinata 7875960400, Dimitri Is A Russian God, EvilVampireDucky,Rayne Mitchaeils

A True Boyfriend:

When she walks away from you mad: Follow her

When she stares at your mouth: Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you: Grab her and don't let go

When she start's cussing at you: Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet: Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you: Give her your attention

When she pull's away: Pull her back When you see her at her worst: Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying: Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking: Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared: Protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder: Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat: Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you: Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesnt answer for a long time: reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt: Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you: she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands: Hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you: bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret: keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes: dont look away until she does

When she misses you: she's hurting inside

When you break her heart: the pain never really goes away

When she says its over: she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin: she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything. - When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.- Tease her and let her tease you back.- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.- Give her the world.- Let her wear your clothes.- When she's bored or sad, hang out with her.- Let her know she's important.- Kiss her in the pouring rain.- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Guys post as: "i'd be this boyfriend."
Girls post as: "A true boyfriend " or " what a boyfriend should do"

The Price of Children:

This is just too good not to pass on to all. Something absolutely positive for a change. I have repeatedly seen the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time I have seen the rewards listed this way. It's nice, The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with 160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. But 160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down.

It translates into:

· 8,896.66 a year, · 741.3 month, or 171.08 a week. · That's a mere 24.24 a day! · Just over a dollar an hour.

Still, you might think the best financial advice is don't have children if you want to be "rich." Actually, it is just the opposite.

What do you get for your 160,140?

Naming rights. First, middle, and last! Glimpses of God every day. Giggles under the covers every night. More love than your heart can hold. Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs. Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies. A hand to hold, usually covered with jelly or chocolate. A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For 160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to:

finger-paint, carve pumpkins, play hide-and-seek, catch lightning bugs, and never stop believing in Santa Claus. You have an excuse to: keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh, watching Saturday morning cartoons, going to Disney movies, and wishing on stars. You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For 160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for:

retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof, taking the training wheels off a bike, removing a splinter, filling a wading pool, coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.

You get a front row seat to history to witness the:

· first step, · first word, · first bra, · first date, and · first time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits.

And... one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal for the price!!

Love & enjoy your children & grandchildren!!

(0.0)

Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies)

YAY COOKIES! O,O

WHY DO BOYS FALL IN LOVE WITH GIRLS??

1. They will always smell good even if it's just shampoo.

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.

3. How cute they look when they sleep.

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms .

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.

6. How cute they are when they eat.

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on this earth.

11. How cute they are when they argue.

12. The way her hand always finds yours.

13. The way they smile.

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight.

15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later...

16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight.

17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you".

18. Actually...Just the way they kiss you...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry.

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt.

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don't admit it).

23. The way they say "I miss you".

24. The way you miss them.

25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore...

Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.

A feeling.

Only felt.

This chain started in 2002.

It is a love chain letter.

In an hour you are supposed to repost this.

Now here comes the fun part.

You then say the name of the person you like or love and then the person will say "I love you," or "Will you go out with me?" NO JOKE!!

NOW THE CONSEQUENCES!!

The consequences are:

If you break the chain letter, you will have bad luck in future relationships.

If you don't break the chain, then you will be a happy camper!!

Congratulations!!

You have been chosen to participate in the LONGEST and the LUCKIEST chain letter on the internet.

Once you read this letter, you must IMMEDIATELY (meaning within the hour) post it with the title "why do boys fall in love with girls?" After you send it, make a wish and it will come TRUE

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure?)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (But no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobic- fear of big words

It's true, Edward Cullen prefers brunettes. Sorry, Barbie you aren't Bella, and Edward isn't your Ken.

Jacob Black glared at the children dressed as vampires and he knew it wasn't right but he lied and told them there was no candy left anyway.

On a package of peanuts: open package, eat nuts. (What were you supposed to do? Throw them at the people sitting near you?)

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck k!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line :)

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE : When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

12 Facts
1. Your reading my comment
2. Now your saying/thinking thats a stupid fact.
4. You didnt notice that i skipped 3.
5. Your checking it now.
6. Your smiling.
7. Your still reading my comment.
8. You know all you have read is true.
10. You didnt notice that i skipped 9.
11. Your checking it now.
12. You didnt notice there are only 10 facts

Take 3 minutes and try this...it will freak you out...BUT NO CHEATING!

This game has a funny/spooky outcome.

Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It's worth a try.

First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct.

Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!

1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.

2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.

3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex.

4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots.

5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!)

6. Finally, make a wish.

And now the key for the game...

1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.

2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.

3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out.

4. You care most about the person you put in 4.

5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.

6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.

7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.

8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.

9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.

10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life

NOW...post this bulletin (don't reply) within the hour. IF you do, your wish will come true...

(its strange)

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism

THINGS TO DO ON AN ELEVATOR

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

35 Things to do when your in Walmart! (I love this!!)

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one.

17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.

18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.

19. Start a fish-stick fight.

20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruf shampoo you recommended.

21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"

22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf.

23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."

24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store.

25. Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines.

26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.

27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..."

28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk". (this works best if you love Twilight, and don't try with Maximum Ride)

29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught.

30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket.

31. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs.

32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts.

33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.

34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section.

35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyramid

A True Boyfriend:

When she walks away from you mad: Follow her

When she stares at your mouth: Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you: Grab her and don't let go

When she start's cussing at you: Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet: Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you: Give her your attention

When she pull's away: Pull her back When you see her at her worst: Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying: Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking: Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared: Protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder: Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat: Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you: Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesnt answer for a long time: reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt: Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you: she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands: Hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you: bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret: keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes: dont look away until she does

When she misses you: she's hurting inside

When you break her heart: the pain never really goes away

When she says its over: she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin: she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything. - When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.- Tease her and let her tease you back.- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.- Give her the world.- Let her wear your clothes.- When she's bored or sad, hang out with her.- Let her know she's important.- Kiss her in the pouring rain.- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will : Call you. Kiss you. Love you. Guys post as: "i'd be this boyfriend." Girls post as: "A true boyfriend " or " what a boyfriend should do"


DISCLAMER:

I do NOT own (I'm gunna use the English name hear) Black butler. Nor do I own any thing else I make a fanfic for.

(there now that's all done :))


I know I copy&pasted multiple things multiple times and all I have to say is...deal w/ it!!!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Tabby Cat by EvilVampireDucky reviews
Getting sent back in time after nearly drowning in the Thames wasn't how I intended to spend my vacation in England. Seb/OC Sebastian/OC Manga/Anime combo verse. High Teen. -Updated: July 2nd
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 59 - Words: 280,608 - Reviews: 1671 - Favs: 876 - Follows: 900 - Updated: 7/2 - Published: 12/11/2011 - [Sebastian M., OC] Ciel P.
Be Careful What You Wish For by NamineNasha reviews
Star light, Star bright, First star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, Have the wish I wish tonight...If only she had made a usless wish on a star. No Larisa had to save the life of a demon and get a wish in the process that would be grant not ignored. Now she's endanger, promised to a demon, and meeting weird characters all the time. SebastianOc
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 47 - Words: 296,255 - Reviews: 462 - Favs: 377 - Follows: 370 - Updated: 6/13 - Published: 6/13/2012 - Sebastian M., Claude F., OC
Black Witch by The Rayne Alchemist reviews
Driven to hopelessness by grief, Alyssa Flumina, a skilled witch and potions master, is pulled into the past by one of her potions and into the arms of an equally desperate Ciel. Desperation and vengeance are a dangerous combo, especially when a contract with a demon is in the mix. Eventual SebastianXOC. CielxOC bonding
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 104,378 - Reviews: 365 - Favs: 342 - Follows: 364 - Updated: 4/21 - Published: 1/3/2013 - Sebastian M., Ciel P.
Black Raven Demon by Black Michaelis reviews
A sugar addict, non-animal lover, weird girl found a dying bird on the street. Due to her nagging conscience, she brought the raven home only to wake up in the morning with a HUGE surprise. What would you do if you find a certain red eyed demon on your bed... butt naked? Rated M for language.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 88,458 - Reviews: 339 - Favs: 158 - Follows: 174 - Updated: 9/23/2014 - Published: 6/23/2012 - Sebastian M.
That Shinigami A Sebastian Michaelis Story by PlutoCookie reviews
Collins is an upcoming Shinigami. What happens when she constantly encounters the demon butler during field work in the mortal realm? What will William-sama think! Oh dear!:P Follows manga storylines
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 92,896 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 8/25/2014 - Published: 6/3/2012 - Sebastian M., OC
Fee Fye Foe Fum by smart-blonde-the-oxymoron reviews
Demons are soulless creatures that feast on the souls of others. It makes sense that a demon couldn't love, right? Wrong. Every demon has a 'soul mate' and Sebastian's just found his. Let's just say... a stubborn human wasn't exactly what he had expected. Sebastian x OC
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 76 - Words: 287,080 - Reviews: 2585 - Favs: 1,708 - Follows: 1,109 - Updated: 8/4/2014 - Published: 12/26/2010 - [Sebastian M., OC] - Complete
Why so Familiar to me? by NoAverageAngel76 reviews
A girl who has lost her memory of who she is/was is taken into a foster home. But what happens when Ceil comes and hires her as a maid? And starts having weird flash backs? And whats with Sebastian always looking at her strangely? Sebastian/OC pairing
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 21,111 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 7/14/2014 - Published: 9/8/2011 - Sebastian M.
Run Run Run As Fast As You Can by O.O TT.TT Lolz reviews
First, we were dragged across dimensions by Angela, the evil, and may I also add, psychotic angel from Black Butler and then almost killed by said angel... I knew there was a reason why I hated Mondays.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 47,662 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 128 - Updated: 7/7/2014 - Published: 4/4/2012 - Sebastian M., OC
Cecilia Phantomhive by Shmewyy reviews
What if Ciel Had a twin sister?
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,256 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 12/29/2013 - Published: 7/21/2012 - Ciel P., Grell S., Sebastian M., Alois T.
Confessions of a Teenage Otaku by QueenOfEpic reviews
Alexandra is your typical modern otaku. Her life revolves around her favorite anime and manga, but one death wish sends her life spiraling back in time and into the dark and mysterious world of Kuroshitsuji. Be careful what you wish for. Rating for language and mature themes.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 23,226 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 4/24/2013 - Published: 5/28/2012 - Ciel P., Sebastian M.
Forever In Fiction by OneHellOvaWriter reviews
DISCONTINUED! SORRY! Summary: 'Sebastian, why the bloody hell is a girl asleep in my rosebushes'I don't know, young master.' Reader insert story with an OC too, but the OC isn't the main character. Don't know where I'll take this. ReaderxSebby Ocx? I haven't decided yet. Ciel gets no pairing lol poor Ciel. Rating may change because I DO WHAT I WANT BIOTCH!
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 16,958 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 4/21/2013 - Published: 6/27/2012 - Sebastian M.
One Hell of a cat by SonGokuSuperSayijin4 reviews
A few months after the end of Kuroshitsuji 2 Sebastian is once more on the prowl for a new victim.. er.. i mean client to sign a contract with while Ciel is busy learning the ways of a demon. Finally Sebastian manages to find a tasty soul to sign a contract with. A young neko named Mayu. Adventures and tradegys are sure to ensure with a demon and a vengeful neko combination.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,471 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 4/20/2013 - Published: 10/18/2012 - Finnian, Sebastian M.
Savior by hellhound14 reviews
promise me Ciel, promise that you will say my name next time you're in grave danger. I'll be there for you when no one else is there.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,589 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 12/30/2012 - Published: 5/12/2012 - Ciel P.
The King 2 Hearts by Cutie Bunny reviews
"You're going to need courage in order to give up everything. That's love." Yuri uses a pure outlook, that would be construed naive, but additionally self-assertive. She dreams of the sweet and pure love and having a soulmate, but worries about the difference between reality and an ideal love. Then, she falls into love with 4 men, Ciel, Sebastian, Alois and Claude. AKTMP SEQUEL II
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 122,587 - Reviews: 452 - Favs: 254 - Follows: 148 - Updated: 12/2/2012 - Published: 7/23/2012 - Ciel P., Sebastian M., Alois T., Claude F. - Complete
nom nom nom a kuroshitsuji black butler fic by nadzuke eno mono reviews
"sebastian. grell. ronald.william.ciel.alois.claude." i said. "what in gods name are you doing in my house, let alone this universe?" "believe me miss, god has nothing to do with this." "shut up sebastian!, it was my psycho otaku friend, and her computer! darn internet memes.." "hey,you could still join me!" "Alois your starting to sound like russia from hetalia..so no." help
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Supernatural - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,206 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 10/21/2012 - Published: 4/3/2012 - Ciel P., Alois T.
An Earl, His Family, and His Trouble by Matthew Canada Williams ey reviews
This is the story of Earl Ciel Phantomhive and Elizabeth Middford Phantomhive's daugther, Angelina Rachael Phantomhive. PLEASE REVIEW!
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,713 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 9/7/2012 - Published: 7/18/2012 - Sebastian M. - Complete
WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN IN THE WORLD OF BLACK BUTLER by Project Jelp reviews
Jen and Hannah Randomly appear in the world of black butler and the have written some rules to follow so they dont get killed by some Cocky demons, ticked off reapers or Grumpy Kids. THIS NEEDED TO BE DONE! Review and give me sudgestions! LANGUAGE!
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 8,048 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 9/6/2012 - Published: 9/25/2011
My Happily Ever After by The Little Writing Bird reviews
She was a girl, who thought she would never find happiness. He was a demon that can grant anywish, with a price of course, a soul. What happens when they make a deal? AU Takes place in 2012, and Ciel is 17 and the demon. Rating may change later. Sebastian is included in the story.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,051 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/22/2012 - Published: 7/10/2012 - Ciel P.
My First True Love Is For A Demon by Grell1FanGirl at Claude.ca reviews
I fell in love with him at first sight, that lovely Redhead, but I had no hope, so there was one other Sebastian Michaelis that I find irresistible. Just a random thing that was inspired by a story I read.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,833 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/6/2012 - Published: 5/20/2012 - Sebastian M.
A Devil's Heart by BloodColoredRose reviews
A glass full of souls and their bloodcurdling screams, Puppets all falling apart at the seams. Roses of white have bloodstained respite And thorns winding 'round a heart dark as night.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 289 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/27/2012 - Ciel P., Sebastian M. - Complete
Why Sebastian Was Late by Being-Lonely-Makes-Me-Happy reviews
Sebastian was late bringing Ceil's tea? Well what is his reasoning behind it? OCS/TWO-SHOT/RATED FOR LANGUAGE
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 714 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/24/2012 - Sebastian M. - Complete
Silverware Services by Beryl Bloodstone reviews
AU. Because Sebastian Michaelis is the guy you want to call when you're dead set on scaring the absolute crap out of someone-especially if they have a vendetta against cats. T for some strong language...and ridiculous similes/metaphors.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,493 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/14/2012 - Sebastian M. - Complete
The Love Of A Demon And Angel by Grell1FanGirl at Claude.ca reviews
Tristan is an angel that Sebastian Michaelis, a demon, falls in love with. How strong is their love exactly? Yeah, yeah. Crap summary. Read to find out! Sebastian x OC. Well Accalia, here is the story you wanted!
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,472 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/13/2012 - Sebastian M. - Complete
Kuroshitsuji: World's End Dance Hall by ChibiGlowKitteh reviews
Based off the song World's End Dance Hall by Miku and Luka. SebastianXGrell song-based oneshot
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 796 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/10/2012 - Grell S., Sebastian M. - Complete
How I Met Your Mother by Maiden of the Moon reviews
Kids, today you're going to hear an amazing story. The story of how your father met your mother. The PG-version. Because you lot are 3. And if your parents' story were to be turned into a television series, it would likely be rated PG13. At least. So actually, this isn't really going to resemble the story of how your parents met at all. Oh well. Part of the Bicentennial series.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,409 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 9 - Published: 7/7/2012 - Sebastian M., Ciel P. - Complete
A Deal with the Devil : Ciel X Reader by zyxJupiterxyz reviews
Sebastian has made a deal with you. Not for your unattainable soul, but for you to help protect the Young Master. In return, he will grant you your one and only wish. What is this wish? You'll just have to start reading to find out!
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,417 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 6/26/2012 - Published: 6/6/2012 - Ciel P., Sebastian M. - Complete
The Black Panther by animefreak653 reviews
It was just another normal school day for the abnormally smart Sylvia, filled with bullies that loved to cause her physical pain. But the last thing she expected was to be transported to the world of Black Butler. SebastianxOC.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 23,880 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 147 - Updated: 6/7/2012 - Published: 12/18/2011 - Sebastian M.
Pissing off the Kuroshitsuji Characters by Grell1FanGirl at Claude.ca reviews
This was inspired by a story I read and I got permission to put the ways to piss everyone off too live action!
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 816 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/2/2012
Falling For You by Sacha Michaelis reviews
I will only love him no matter what happens...but does he even know I exist? One-shot; Sebastian/OC
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 430 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 5/27/2012 - Sebastian M. - Complete
Family Reunion by XxOmoiyaritheNekoxX reviews
What would it be like if Grell's brother, Sebastian's sister and Claude's sister were introduced to this weird story?
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,119 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 5/22/2012 - Published: 4/2/2012 - Grell S., Sebastian M.
Chaotic Idiotism by reira-sama reviews
What happen's when a boy-crazy idiot, a gangster wanna-be, and a sarcastic tomboy all get transported to the world of Kuroshitusji/Black butler? Well, all hell breaks loose... Slight Alois x oc, and Ciel x oc Rated T for language and extreme stupidness
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 42,192 - Reviews: 174 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 1/7/2012 - Published: 8/6/2011 - Ciel P., Alois T. - Complete
The Adventures of Iz and Kiki by QueensOfAnimeObsessions reviews
Two girls, who may or may not be crazy, end up in Phantomhive Gardens. Let's just say it's not going to be pretty.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,600 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11/13/2011 - Published: 9/12/2011
The Kuro Musical Fandub: That Butler, Amity by Maiden of the Moon reviews
It’s always more fun to sing along to songs in your native tongue, correct? At least, the lyrics are easier to remember. And so, for your sing along pleasure, all seven tracks from this summer’s ‘Kuroshitsuji- That Butler, Amity’ in fandub form!
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,462 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/2/2010 - Complete
Kuroshitsuji: The Stone of Demon by Naito Aotsuki reviews
18 years after his beloved young master dead, Sebastian Michaelis meets with Lady Ciel Middleford, the only daughter of Lady Elizabeth, who has a face so similiar with Ciel Phantomhive. This is the synopsis about the beginning until the end of their story
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,684 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/30/2009 - Sebastian M. - Complete
Piano by KandaSayori5076 reviews
This is a pre-Kuroshitsuji one shot.When about to retire for the day, Sebastian heard a beautiful melody. Who was playing it?A little SebastianOC.This is my first fanfic, so critics are very much welcome!
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 503 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/15/2009 - Sebastian M. - Complete
The Price of Freedom reviews
an orphan girl is saved by her demon father who takes her into the manga-verse rated t just in case sebastionxoc
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 954 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 10/21/2012 - Published: 7/19/2012 - Sebastian M.