The Wild Wild Whovian
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Joined 07-11-12, id: 4122943, Profile Updated: 02-08-14
Author has written 27 stories for Wild Wild West, Doctor Who, Mr. Lucky, and Hoka Stories.

Currently unplugged from home internet while I find a better ISP. See you at the library!

Niecie Sparrow = Niecie the Wild Wild Whovian = The Wild Wild Whovian

(Yes, I've changed my pen name. Twice.)

Artemus Gordon / Ross Martin fan girl here.

I started writing Wild Wild West fanfiction in the summer of 2011. I've posted here all but one of the stories I had already posted elsewhere (after various degrees of rewriting) as well as new stories I've been completing. The plan is to post at least one chapter a week, usually three per week, M/W/F.


What, you may ask, are the Hoka Stories? Hokas are sentient alien teddy bears with the most active imaginations in the known universe. Created by Poul Anderson & Gordon R Dickson, the Hokas inhabit the pages of Earthman's Burden, Hoka!, Hoka! Hoka! Hoka!, Hokas Pokas!, and The Sound and The Furry: the Complete Hoka Stories.

My favorite Hoka story, hands down, is "The Adventure of the Misplaced Hound," in which we meet the Hoka Sherlock Holmes, as well as a fellow who is the very model of a modern major operative.

The more I read the Hoka stories, in fact, the more I come to the conclusion that Anderson & Dickson managed to get away with professionally publishing fanfictions!


The designation of AU on any of my WWW stories simply means that

*SPOILER ALERT*
written backwards for your protection:

drolemitasieitra

Stories in the AU arc:

TNOT Fan Girl
TNOT Broken Watch
TNOT Dramatic Reentrance
TNOT Shoplifters (technically not AU, but it follows Dramatic Reentrance chronologically)
TNOT Close Encounter (a NaNoWriMo winner)


Stories in the Pterovnia arc:

TNOT Kiss of Death
TNOT Diabolical Dowager (a NaNoWriMo story)

The Pterovnian language, which I invented for the two stories above:

The letter j is pronounced as y.
The letter e is as in yet; ej as in obey.
Accent on the penultimate.

Atuchejnte djo = Farewell to you (m)
dasda = yes
djenko = dear family friend of an older generation
droshche / droshko = sweetie, dear, darling (f/m)
droshinje = sweet little girl
droshtafko = sweet old man
katjenje = almost-daughter
Kedurshte dje / djo = Thank you (f/m)
Marnko = Lord
Merinko = Mr
muje / mujo = my (f/m)
Mushche = Mother
njede = no
sjerche = sister
Tansha mjana = Good morning
Teshnante djo = I apologize to you
tuvnjeche / tuvnjeko = peasant (f/m)
Vachko = Father
Veshte dje / djo = Follow! (f/m)
Zartechko dujo = Your Majesty
zelnurmof = stork
Zerinje = Mrs
Zernkje = Lady
-zí = pluralizing suffix, both f & m


I made a set of illustrations for my fanfic TNOT Kiss of Death. Here are the links:

The larger version of the photograph of the missing girls from the Teaser

The Freeze Frame for the end of Act 1

The Freeze Frame for the end of Act 2

The Freeze Frame for the end of Act 3

The Freeze Frame for the end of the Tag

The End Credits collage


Look for me on tumblr as uncle-arties-sonic-screwdriver.

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Those Who Help Us Most to Grow by Crystal Rose of Pollux reviews
Travels through time and space inevitably lead you to the people who shape you into who you are. A series of 50 vignettes/drabbles featuring Jamie McCrimmon's interactions with various characters in the Whoniverse, some canon interactions, and some requiring a stretch of the imagination, eventually both Classic & New Who. Also, expect the Second Doctor to be prominently featured.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 50 - Words: 65,011 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 11/23/2013 - Published: 8/18/2013 - Jamie M., 2nd Doctor - Complete
Fool's Mate by Leda74 reviews
The Second Doctor and Jack Harkness are playing a seemingly friendly game of chess; but is that all that's at stake here? Just a little bit of fluff, really.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,170 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/6/2013 - 2nd Doctor, Jack H. - Complete
The Night of the Almost-Widow by BOC42 reviews
During The Night of the Lord of Limbo, James West pulls Artemus Gordon - Jack Maitland - away from another world and life to save Artemus. But what was Jack Maitland's life, and who did he leave behind when he died? The Doctor decides to find out.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Wild Wild West - Rated: K+ - English - Western/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,118 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/30/2013 - 11th Doctor - Complete
Unexpected Item in Bagging Area by Lissy Strata reviews
There's no such thing as a simple grocery shopping trip for these people.
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,283 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/30/2013 - 5th Doctor, Adric, Nyssa, Tegan J. - Complete
Dr Who The Other Eden Part One by E J Lamprey reviews
Things have changed a bit in the other Eden. For one thing, they've now got unicorns and werewolves… not everyone's pleased about it, especially the ones who haven't got unicorns and werewolves. While the Doctor is sorting that out, Donna's not sure whether she wants to fall for the totally outrageous Rory or slap him, but he's certainly interesting?
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 29,277 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/22/2013 - 10th Doctor, Donna N.
If You Give Loki A Book by ReadingBlueWolf reviews
When a moose appears on Loki's doorstep, he doesn't expect to talk to it. One-shot. *COMPLETE*
Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,452 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/10/2012 - Loki - Complete
The Night of the Yesterday's Tomorrow by Saphura reviews
Captain Kirk and Dr. McCoy must team up with James West and Artemus Gordon in order to save Spock and stop Dr. Loveless. Now in chapter form!
Crossover - Wild Wild West & Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 24,183 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/16/2010 - Published: 11/22/2010 - Complete
The Night of the Setting Sun by Wiccagirl24 reviews
"For once in your life won't you listen to me?" But Jim never listened, not once his mind was made up. Warning character death
Wild Wild West - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 732 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/26/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Uncle Artie — a Reminiscence reviews
Artemus Gordon before the War, as seen through the eyes of a doting younger cousin. A prelude to TNOT Unexpected Visit. Updating M/W/F.
Wild Wild West - Rated: K - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,856 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 4/14 - Published: 4/11
The Night of the Silent Child reviews
As a tropical storm drenches the Piney Woods of Texas, Jim and Artie take shelter in the home of a kindly widow and her children. Jim tries to cozy up to the older daughter while Artie sets out to befriend the younger, a spooky child who hasn't said a word since her father's death - But then a shot rings out.
Wild Wild West - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Western - Chapters: 26 - Words: 55,510 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/9 - Published: 2/10 - Complete
The Night of the Switcheroo reviews
What if the star of the show wasn't James West? A Challenge Accepted story. (It probably helps to know the opening credits sequence of The Wild Wild West. And a few choice episodes as well… Oh, and the replacement star of the show? It isn't Artie either.)
Wild Wild West - Rated: K - English - Western/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,062 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/8 - Complete
The Night of the Stolen Hours reviews
Jim West has disappeared! And yet when he turns up again, he has no memory of what became of him. So now Our Heroes must unravel the mystery of Jim's missing day - and they'd better be quick about it too, for unbeknownst to them, their arcane adversary isn't done with them yet - no, not by a long shot.
Wild Wild West - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 24,214 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/5 - Published: 1/6 - Complete
The Night of the Fever reviews
Jim and Artie, working together - separately. One of them eludes capture by the Bad Guys, but the other is not so lucky. Of course he knows his partner will come to his rescue once he realizes that he's missing. But that won't be for a few days yet, and in the meantime… Well, in the meantime, he's just not feeling very well…
Wild Wild West - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 30 - Words: 59,141 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/20/2013 - Published: 10/14/2013 - Complete
Majoring on the Minor reviews
The minor characters of The Wild Wild West, that is. This is a series of stand-alone one-shot stories exploring such things as various characters' backstories, their motivations, what happened to them after the end credits rolled - and I plan also to fill in some plot holes along the way. Our latest story: Aaron Buckley from TNOT Simian Terror. Updating at whim.
Wild Wild West - Rated: K - English - Western/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 15,189 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10/11/2013 - Published: 8/4/2013
Deleted Scene: The Night of the Sudden Plague reviews
At the third act freeze frame, Dr Kirby rips off his wig and facial hair to reveal his face in all its hairless glory, and Jim stares in shocked recognition. But why? There must have been a scene deleted somewhere, right?
Wild Wild West - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Western - Chapters: 1 - Words: 884 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/7/2013 - Complete
Deleted Scene: Tag for The Night of the Burning Diamond reviews
The Night of the Burning Diamond concludes with the Bad Guy dead and his minions captured, ending as usual with a little touch of humor - but really, how did Jim & Artie explain to their boss why the pair of them had been caught with a stolen diamond bracelet on them during the robbery of the exhibition?
Wild Wild West - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,234 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/4/2013 - Complete
The Night of the Florentine Phoenix reviews
The Florentine Phoenix, a priceless art treasure, has arrived in San Francisco to be delivered to the Smithsonian in Washington DC. Jim and Artie have the task of escorting the treasure to its destination. But getting the Phoenix to the museum won't be easy, not with a rogues' gallery lined up itching to get their hands on the bird.
Wild Wild West - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Western - Chapters: 18 - Words: 37,440 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 9/29/2013 - Published: 8/20/2013 - Complete
Deleted Scenes: The Night of the Flaming Ghost reviews
From the warmth in Barbara Bosley's voice when she says "Mr Gordon" in the tag of TNOT Flaming Ghost, it sounds to me like the two of them had some scenes together that didn't make the final cut. What might those scenes have been?
Wild Wild West - Rated: K+ - English - Western/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,499 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/11/2013 - Published: 8/8/2013 - Complete
The Night of the Close Encounter reviews
Artemus Gordon gets a big surprise when a tentacled space alien wakes him up with the request that he and his partner James West give the aliens a bit of a hand. It seems that one of the aliens has gone rogue and unleashed an enhanced clone upon the Earth - and the clone in question is someone Our Heroes know all too well. AU. A NaNoWriMo story.
Wild Wild West - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 32 - Words: 51,779 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/1/2013 - Published: 5/21/2013 - Complete
Deleted Scene: The Night of the Whirring Death reviews
Dr Loveless told that incredible airhead Priscilla that some time he would explain the facts of life to her. Well, that time is now. A Challenge Accepted story.
Wild Wild West - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,929 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/21/2013 - Complete
The Night of the Shoplifters reviews
Counterfeiters are at work, spreading their fake bills throughout Denver. James West and Artemus Gordon at last have a break in the case in the form of a frightened little boy accused of shoplifting.
Wild Wild West - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Western - Chapters: 18 - Words: 26,106 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/19/2013 - Published: 4/9/2013 - Complete
A Little Addendum to the End of Bugsy reviews
I'm new to Mr Lucky fandom, having watched only a few episodes so far. But after seeing "Bugsy" and reading some comments about that episode - particularly about a certain activity Andamo didn't do as he was getting dressed again - I had a little idea of something to add to this episode.
Mr. Lucky - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,021 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5/3/2013 - Complete
The Night of the Dramatic Reentrance reviews
…of Lily Fortune! And Artie is over the moon with joy. But really, how hard can it be for a couple to take a simple little honeymoon? A sequel to the canon episode TNOT Big Blast and also to my stories TNOT Fan Girl, TNOT Broken Watch, and Sometimes. AU, with several cameo crossovers in the second half.
Wild Wild West - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 18 - Words: 27,030 - Reviews: 52 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/7/2013 - Published: 2/26/2013 - Complete
Hoka Who? reviews
The Hokas, whom I have gleefully borrowed from Poul Anderson & Gordon R Dickson, are notorious for their prodigious imaginations. So what happens when they get exposed to Doctor Who? A one-shot - unless I think up some more later.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Hoka Stories - Rated: K - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,468 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/25/2013 - 11th Doctor - Complete
The Night of the Diabolical Dowager reviews
Jim & Artie have babysitting duty during the visit of an Eastern European prince. But things take a nasty turn when the king back home is assassinated and their easy assignment turns out to be anything but.
Wild Wild West - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 36,650 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/21/2013 - Published: 1/22/2013 - Complete
The Night of the Unexpected Visit reviews
It started with an unexpected visit from someone out of Artie's past, followed quickly by a kidnapping. The agents soon suspect the crime was perpetrated by someone out of their more recent past - someone very twisted, brilliant, deadly, and diminutive. Heavily revised, especially in the second half of the story, from a previous version posted elsewhere online.
Wild Wild West - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 46,510 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/20/2013 - Published: 12/11/2012 - Complete
The Night of the Two-Legged Weasel reviews
If you listen closely to the Prince's speech at the end of the episode The Night of the Two-Legged Buffalo, it sounds like the writer was setting things up for a sequel - except the show never provided a sequel, so I decided to. Presenting the further adventures of Jim and Artie vs. Crown Prince Creepy of the Coral Island…
Wild Wild West - Rated: K+ - English - Western/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 21,679 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 12/4/2012 - Published: 10/30/2012 - Complete
The Night of the Broken Watch reviews
Jim and Artie reflect on the changes that can come from the simple act of opening a watch. This one shot is a follow-up to my crossover The Night of the Fan Girl, and comes right after the tag of the canon episode The Night of the Hangman. AU
Wild Wild West - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi/Western - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,138 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/28/2012 - Complete
The Night of the Fan Girl reviews
Running. The sonic screwdriver. Jim and Artie. A big tentacly monster or two. A blue Police Call Box. A canon Bad Guy from WWW. Things getting blown up. Technobabble, and a conversation with a horse. Did I mention running? Oh, and some snogging too. Because one of the men involved here has a Fan Girl.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Wild Wild West - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 14 - Words: 52,161 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/26/2012 - Published: 9/11/2012 - Complete
The Night of One of Those Days reviews
One of the remarkable things about James West was that he always had just the right thing up his sleeve or in his boot heel to get himself out of all sorts of trouble. But what if one day he didn't? (Now with Antoinette added!)
Wild Wild West - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,582 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Published: 9/6/2012 - Complete
The Night of the Kiss of Death reviews
The daughters of the ambassador from Pterovnia have disappeared, and their godfather the king is ready to send in troops to rescue them. President Grant's two best Secret Service agents must work fast to avert an international incident.
Wild Wild West - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 6 - Words: 39,144 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/4/2012 - Published: 7/31/2012 - Complete
The Night of the Exchange reviews
Throughout the 104 episodes of The Wild Wild West, Jim apparently had just one horse: big, black, beautiful, and bright. Artie on the other hand went through quite a succession of horses. As a friend and I were chatting about this lately, she said something that spawned a plot bunny. This story is the result.
Wild Wild West - Rated: K+ - English - Western/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 832 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/19/2012 - Complete
Deleted Scene: The Night of the Big Blast reviews
Have you ever seen a show where the Hero needs something to use against the Bad Guy and bam! suddenly he has it? That happens near the end of The Night of the Big Blast: Jim & Artie need to stop the fake Artie with the bomb in his chest and have no ideas, but the next we see them, they have a bazooka to launch a net over the walking bomb! Where did that come from? I try to explain.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Wild Wild West - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 192 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/24/2012 - Complete
Sometimes reviews
Life on the road can be lonely, especially when old memories come to visit.
Wild Wild West - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 251 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/20/2012 - Complete
The Night of the Great Man reviews
A vignette on the last days of the best boss Jim and Artie ever had.
Wild Wild West - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,153 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/18/2012 - Complete