samurai frasier crane
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Joined 07-14-12, id: 4128388, Profile Updated: 07-14-12
Author has written 17 stories for Cheers.

sometimes my obsessions spiral out of control and must be put into tangible form! so here is a venue for it! not much to say in terms of introductions -- i am an otherwise normal kid who is patiently waiting for a lot of doomed love affairs to resolve themselves.

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The Storm Before The Calm by Jessica Simpson-Bourget reviews
A link between Battle of the Exes and An American Family, featuring Sam and Diane's storied yet unseen first trip to The Pequod. Also an effort to exorcise the negative feelings I have about the former episode by reconciling it with my love for the latter.
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,172 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Published: 8/3/2013 - [Diane C., Sam M.] - Complete
Dust and Connect the Dots by dontbesojaded reviews
Sam ends up taking a walk around the house he owned with Diane, and running into some things he didn't really want to find. Multi-chapter. Takes place 2 or 3 years after the finale. Reviews are lovely!
Cheers - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,708 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/23/2013 - Published: 5/3/2013 - Diane C., Sam M.
The way they were by melinda08 reviews
Sam and Diane's relationship, from the beginning. Each chapter is an episode tag. updated with Diane's perfect date and no contest
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 9,630 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/28/2013 - Published: 8/14/2012 - Diane C., Sam M.
I've Been to Boston Before by dontbesojaded reviews
A missing moment from the finale. I've always wondered what happened in between "Yes, I think we both know" and Sam returning to the bar. If you have too, then check this out. And review. Reviews are very nice. In simple terms: Sam and Diane get a real goodbye for once.
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,864 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/24/2013 - Diane C., Sam M.
Way Back When by dontbesojaded reviews
Sam and Diane reminisce in an empty bar after closing time. Two parts because I am too lazy to finish it right this second. Takes place sometime in season 4. Reviews are lovely.
Cheers - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,072 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/17/2013 - Published: 3/27/2013 - Diane C., Sam M.
The Visit by dontbesojaded reviews
Sam and Diane pay a visit to an old friend (*cough* its Coach *cough*) after getting engaged. There is almost-equal amounts of angst/drama and fluff/cuteness. BFEOSAD gets all the credit for story idea! Reviews are lovely.
Cheers - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,225 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/18/2013 - Diane C., Sam M.
Little Known Facts by dontbesojaded reviews
10 drabbles/ficlets/oneshots. Some little things you might not have known about Sam and Diane's relationship. Takes place throughout the series. Some very slight AU...terrible summary but please read!
Cheers - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,508 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/30/2013 - Diane C., Sam M. - Complete
Letters From Goldenbrook by Jessica Simpson-Bourget reviews
In a dusty patient file in a storeroom at Goldenbrook Sanitarium, a collection of unsent letters is found and delivered to the unintended recipient more than 25 years later. Rated T for an instance of salty language and generally mature themes.
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 14,598 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/16/2012 - Published: 5/17/2012 - [Diane C., Sam M.] Frasier C. - Complete
One More for the Road by Gr8BigNerd reviews
This story is a Cheers oneshot that takes place at the end of the series right after the last scene of the finale. I was never happy with the way they left Sam and Diane so I decided to finish it.
Cheers - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,392 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/23/2011 - Complete
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A Portrait of the Artist as an Aging Diane reviews
This is pure crack!fic, although I may eventually bring it to a more serious conclusion, depending on how I feel. But it's mostly just over-the-top silliness. Set in 1996 right after the Frasier episode where Diane visits and shows him her play. Right now only Diane, Frasier, and Sam (and Sally Bong, the gorgeous starlet) have made cameos, but it will eventually involve EVERYONE.
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,358 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 6/26/2013 - Published: 6/24/2013 - Diane C., Frasier C., Sam M., Carla T.
If I Could Tell You I Would Let You Know reviews
Here's a missing scene from "Fortune and Men's Weight" attempting to explain how our favorite doomed lovebirds reconciled in its aftermath. Title is from a REALLY GREAT POEM by W.H. Auden which you should read instead of this story, because it will give you chills and make you weep inconsolably. But then come back and read this story so I don't feel lonely.
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,776 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/20/2013 - Published: 6/19/2013 - Diane C., Sam M.
Real Nuns Can't Fly reviews
At some point in season four, Sam mentions an off-screen conversation with Diane in which they agreed to "keep their distance" - so here's that conversation! Sam drives Diane home from the convent. They discuss flying nuns, among other things.
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,065 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/3/2013 - Published: 5/2/2013 - Sam M., Diane C. - Complete
Fool's Gold reviews
An extra scene from "Abnormal Psychology", when Diane drags Sam to that Jean-Pierre Rampal concert.
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,078 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/31/2013 - Sam M., Diane C. - Complete
Where the Thunder Goes reviews
a scene from near the end of Diane's "flesh binge", because who can resist the temptation to write about drunk, batshit crazy Diane! Not me!
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,235 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3/23/2013 - Diane C. - Complete
Endless Distances reviews
This one's for MagnetAndSteel, who is awesome and has given me like ten billion fic ideas. Diane calls Sam while in Europe with Frasier. Set at some point between "The Belles of St. Clete's" and "Rescue Me."
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,090 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/1/2013 - Sam M., Diane C. - Complete
Lost is the Sailor reviews
This is another one I'm not totally sure I like, but what the hell, you guys are pretty nice to me regardless of whatever I manage to spew out. Here's our wayward hero washed up somewhere in the Caribbean. I know literally nothing about sailing or the geography of the Caribbean, so sorry if anything in here is glaringly implausible!
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,024 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/26/2013 - Sam M. - Complete
a missing scene from Truce or Consequences reviews
Here's Sam and Carla taking drunk Diane home, because the look on Sam's face when he says "You don't remember?" suggests that there was defffffffinitely something to remember.
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,668 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/18/2013 - Complete
Sentimental Reasons reviews
Here's another prequel kind of thing, about how Sam met Carla and decided to buy Cheers - and the "sentimental reasons" for which he kept it. Set in 1979. I'm still not sure if I like this, but whatever. Basically when I can't figure out to do with any of my stupid original fiction I just write a ton of Cheers fanfic to distract myself. Carla is hard to write!
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,695 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2/10/2013 - Sam M., Carla T.
The Way Back reviews
This is basically just headcanon/me making shit up. Which I guess all fanfiction is, but anyway! It's set in 2000. Sam's dad dies and Rebecca accompanies him to the funeral. He sees Derek and meets his nephews. They go to the house he bought with Diane. There's ANGST and INTROSPECTION and fun for the whole family! Assuming your whole family loves angsty Cheers fanfiction.
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,725 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/6/2013 - Sam M., Rebecca H. - Complete
The Dance Class reviews
a story inspired by the revelation that Diane made Sam take a dance class with her when they were dating, and the subsequent revelation that Diane can't dance. I hope to come up with a less crappy title at some point in the near future! Takes place at some point during season two.
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,694 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/28/2012 - Sam M., Diane C. - Complete
The Edge reviews
A rendering of that last conversation between Diane and Sam's brother, Derek, alluded to in the season one finale, during which they apparently talked about walking on the moors like Cathy and Heathcliff. Takes place at the end of season one - well, duh. I haven't watched this one in awhile, so sorry if I messed up with any details!
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,695 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/26/2012 - Diane C. - Complete
Headcanon backstory for Sam Malone reviews
This isn't really fanfiction - it's just a surprisingly long bit of backstory I cooked up to appease my insatiable curiosity about these wacky characters. My invented past begins at the turn of the 20th century - oh boy - but mostly focuses on Sam's coming-of-age, in attempt to provide some context for his insecurities. I really do think he could star in his own bildungsroman!
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,280 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/14/2012 - Sam M.
Atlantis reviews
This story is the result of me being on a train for twelve hours with nothing to do, and I'm not entirely sure where it's going but it seems to be headed towards an unexpected Cheers reunion! Oh boy! This takes place in 2007 and I stole the title from a poem that is so good I feel guilty using it for Cheers fanfic, but there ya go. Enjoy.
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,317 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/29/2012 - Published: 7/23/2012 - Diane C., Sam M. - Complete
Up In Smoke reviews
Sam and Rebecca stumble upon a relic from the past while cleaning up the bar! What fun! And by fun I mean anguish! This takes place in early season eleven and is mostly, uhh, friend-fic, but there is mention of Sam's relationship with Diane and I guess also Rebecca's relationship with Robin Colcord which is everyone's favorite ship, right? Wait, it's not?
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,571 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/18/2012 - Sam M., Rebecca H. - Complete
The Art of Deception reviews
Sam and Diane go to a baseball game! How fun! Takes place late in season one.
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,346 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/17/2012 - Sam M., Diane C. - Complete
After Dessert reviews
a short rendering of what may have ensued between the time when Sam and Diane leave Melville's for "dessert" and come back to Cheers. Takes place during the series finale, this is my first stab at Cheers fic so let me know if you like it! I hope I nailed 'em, or at least didn't make a blundering fool out of myself.
Cheers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,576 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Published: 7/16/2012 - Sam M., Diane C. - Complete