PROGRESS ON STORIES:

Thorns On A Rose: Taking a hiatus to clear a huge writer's block.

Shrouded: Currently working on Chapter 1!

One-Shots: Working on one!

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( That's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Frito's: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how??)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well duh, a bit late, huh?)

On Marks Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...And you thought?)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off of those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And.. .I'm taking this because?)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...???)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this; I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's Peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)