Poll: Which story should I start? Vote Now!
Author has written 4 stories for Hetalia - Axis Powers.
Here are the standings for Trapped in Walmart's Nerf gun war (Number of votes next to teams and those not in bold are those that got out)-
Russia and Canada- 10
Germany and Romano- 10
Latvia and Lichtenstein- 4
Estonia, Poland and America- 3
Japan and Greece- 2
Scotland and Hungary- 2
Iceland and France- 2
Sealand and Prussia- 1
Finland and Lithuania- 1
Denmark and Spain- 0
China and Italy- 0
Switzerland and Turkey-0
South Korea and Sweden- 0
England and Cuba- 0
Norway and Egypt- 0
THIS IS FOR THE POLL:
Two lonely people and a meeting in Canada- This is what happens when Denmark forgets to book a hotel in Canada. They have to stay with the nation himself. But is a quiet, forgiving nation all there is. The answer is no. Iceland feels like the fifth wheel in the Nordics, with Sweden dating Finland and Denmark dating Norway, what is there for Icey. He soon finds it in Matthew, a nation he didn't even see. Iceland/Canada
Canadian spy- This is what happens when America sends Canada to spy on Russia. He gets caught, and captured. But is being captured by Russia that bad. While being captured Canada gets closer to Russia and finds out why he always smiles. Because he's lonely. Russia is trapped within himself. Will Canada be able to fix him? RusCan.
I'm not a vampire (Changed name: The Crimson of Hatred)- Gilbert is the vampire king at the age of 16 he needs a wife to regain the crown. Being him he picks up some random pureblood off the street to be his wife. The boy he picked up is Matthew and Matthew's a werewolf. Gilbert doesn't know this. The problem is that Gilbert hates werewolves, Matthew is the werewolf king's brother and there is a war going on between the two races. PruCan.
Maple and a Tomato- Romano has been lonely and overshadowed by his brother. He has resorted to self harm. What happens when he meets Canada. Canada has an invisibility complex. When Canada bumps into Romano they don't know what it will start. Will the two broken nations find peace in each other? Romano/Canada.
2p and a broken Canadian- What happens when the 2p nations are sucked into the 1p world. They didn't expect this. Centered around Canada and Hong Kong, the 2p nations find out how much pain 1p Canada has gone through and can't help but fall for him, the problem is he was already saved by Hong Kong. Hong Kong/Canada.
Two sides- Arthur lives in a horrible household and has depression problems. Matthew has an invisibility complex. What happens when the north american twins move in across the street. Can Alfred and Ivan heal Arthur and Matthew or are the two lost beyond all recognition? USUK, RusCan.
A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded
Famous quotes very few people know about:
"God has a special province for fools, drunks, and the United States of America." - Otto Van Bismarck
"If I see a murderous fellow sharpening a knife cleverly, I can borrow his way of sharpening the knife without borrowing his probable intention to commit murder with it." - Sinclair Lewis, author
"There is only one antidote to mental suffering, and that is physical pain." - Karl Marx, Herr Vogt, 1860
"It is hard to fail; but worse never to have tried to succeed." - Theodore Roosevelt
"The final reward of the dead-to die no more." - Friedrich Nietzsche
"My grandfather once told me there were two kinds of people: Those who worked, and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition." - Indira Gandi
"We are what we repeatedly do. Exellence, then, is not an act but a habit." - Aristotle
"Happiness in inteligent people is the rarest thing I know." - Ernest Hemingway
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Elanor Roosevelt
"Greif can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divid it with." - Mark Twain
"The art of creation is older than the art of killing."- Andrei Voznesensky, poet
"True creativity starts where language ends." - Arthur Koestler, writer
"Beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin
"Greatness lies in not in being strong, but in the right use of strength." - Henry Ward Beecher
"It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence." - Mohandas Gamdhi
"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutly no good." - Samuel Johnson
"Trust one who has gone through it." - Virgil
"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speach you will ever regret." - Ambrose Bierce.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring his doorbell and run, he hates that.
SHIT, even though I'm sure no one of you guys gives a shit-
Fav color: Black and red
Favorite book series: Percy jackson/Hero's of Olympus, and Vampirates
Favorite Hetalia character: Russia and Iceland
Favorite Hetalia Pet: Canada's bear Kumajirou
Favorite Percy Jackson Character: Percy Jackson, For Hero's of Olympus it is Leo
Favorite Maximum Ride character: Iggy
Favorite Vampirates character: Connor
Favorite Red Pyramid character: Carter
Favorite South Park character: Tweek
Favorite Black Butler character: Ceil
Favorite Harry Potter character: The Bloody Baron
Favorite Ouran Highschool Host Club character: Hunny
Favorite One Peice character: Luffy
Favorite Alex Rider character: Alex
Favorite Rangers Apprentice character: Will
Kingdom Hearts: Zexion and Roxas
Hetalia- PruCan, RusCan, IceCan, Spamano, GiriPan, PruRus, SweFin, NorDen, Canada and Romano, then I like MANY crack pairings
Ouran Highschool Host Club- Twincest between Karu and Hikaru, Mommy/Daddy, Mori and Hunny, Taki and Haruhi
Black Butler- Ciel and Sebastian, Alois and Ciel
South Park- Creek, Style, K2, Stenny, Bunny, Dip, Grestophe, Cristophe/kyle, and a LOT of crack pairings
Kingdom Hearts: Roxion, Roxal, Sora/Roxas, Sora/Riku, Demyx/Saïx
If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your first and/or last name...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile!
If your skin is almost always cold...copy and paste this onto your profile. (I wear long sleeves and a jacket and my skin is still cold)
If you constantly dream about anime characters, copy and paste this into your profile.
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone is dissing you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 3 muscles to raise you middle finger and say "Bite me!"
My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.
Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck
Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot,
Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.
Okay...so there's this thing called retarded-ness and me and my freeing, well...We've gone pro.
If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.
If you hear voices in your head (not of book characters) and aren't afraid to admit it, post this in your profile.
If you've ever seen a movie or so many times you can quote it word for word and you do at random times or when the moment seems to need a quote; put this in your profile.
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Anime, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, chocoholic4eva, Isabella Maria Swan, Lady Lily of Darkness, NeverEverLand Girl,YoU aRe GoNnA hAvE tOo GuEsS, Bri Nara, captainxx
YOUR GUY SIDE: (bold applies to me)
You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers. ( I still am to a degree)
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night
YOUR GIRL SIDE: (bold applies to me)
You wear lip gloss/chapstick. You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink.
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance. (I. WAS. FORCED! my mom made me. Pure torture!)
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it. don't tell anyone!
Like being the star of every thing.
1/26 (Well apparently Im more like a guy.)
95 percent of the teenage population would cry if they saw the Jonas Brothers/Miley Cyrus on the top of the Empire State Building. Copy and paste this if you would be the 5 percent screaming "Jump, bitches!"
I once read that only math can save us now. Put this in your profile if you're screwed.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, deathxbyxdawnxgurl, weasleybabe24, ga nat nat, evil older sister, Frozenfan, slygirl16, JForward, TARDISWhore, Rose, Rokudaime Kunoichi, Syciara-Lynx, iBankai, Shimaki-33, fox999,AnimeWolfGurl115, Blue44653, Spamano4ever, NOMNOMBUNNYWILLEATYOURSOUL, captainxx
I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
A large percentage of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you are one of the ones that do and want to deck 'em, put this in your profile.
Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever talked about your characters like they're real people copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever fallen UP stairs, add this to your profile.
98% of teens do drugs, smoke, and have sex. Copy and paste this into your profile if you don't like bagels.
Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR ASS OFF!
IF YOU THINK THE WORLD WILL END WITH A SHOE AND A WAFFLE, COPY THIS TO YOUR PROFILE.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.(uh... YOU CAN"T STOP ME!)
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.
Re-post this and spread the stupidity!
16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!" (or if a Hetalia fan "China I choose you!")
Repost this if you laughed...
Sometimes people are really dumb and shouldn't be payed for this-
On Sears hairdryer:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
25 Ways To Annoy Your Parents*
1.Follow them around the house.
Hetalia quiz time!
North Italy (Vargas Feliciano)
[x] You were bullied a lot in your childhood
[x] You're very stoic and serious
Japan (Kiku Honda)
[x] You're very mature
America (Alfred Jones)
[ ] You love hamburgers
England (Arthur Kirkland)
[x] You like tea
France (Francis Bonnefoy)
[ ] You're very affectionate
Russia (Ivan Braginski)
[x] You had a very sad childhood
China (Wang Yao)
[x] You're very mature
And now for some other countries!
Austria (Roderich Edelstein)
[ ] You are very well-raised
Canada (Matthew Williams)
[x] You're often ignored by people
[ ] You smoke
Hungary (Elizabeth Hédeváry)
[x] You have a potty-mouth
Lithuania (Toris Lorinaitis)
Poland (Feliks Lukasiewicz)
[ ] You're very flamboyant
Prussia (Gilbert Weillschmidt)
[ ] You're quite mean-spirited
hmmm... so imma Russia...
.eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI
If you have the most RANDOM dreams, copy this.
Ummmm... Ravenclaw and Slytheren... okay
The Ouran High School Host Club test...
Tamaki [Prince Type:
Kyoya [Cool Type:
Hunny [Loli Shota Type:
Mori [Wild Type:
Hikaru [Devil Type:
Kaoru [Devil Type:
Haruhi [Natural Type:
Hikaru and Kaoru... i already knew
Roxas, Mansex, and Axel... the frigg
The Stupid Test! (Put an x next to the one that is you, than in the end, add up all of the x's. if you have 21 or less, than you are not stupid.) P.S. this is not a real test, just something for fun... i guess
(x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.
(x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were not talking.
(x) You have run into a glass/screen door.
(x) You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
(x) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.
(x) You have run into a tree.
(x) It IS possible to lick your elbow
(x) You just tried to lick your elbow.
(x) You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star have the same rhythm.
(x) You just tried to sing them.
(x) You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
(x) You have choked on your own spit.
(x) You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it.
(x) You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice
(x) You just looked at it.
( ) Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde/has blonde in it.
(x) People have called you slow.
total so far= 16
(x) You have accidentally caught something on fire
(x) You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek.
(x) You have caught yourself drooling.
(x) You’ve fallen asleep in class
(x) If someone says “fart” you laugh.
(x) You just laughed.
total so far= 22
(x) Sometimes you just stop thinking
(x) You tell a story and forget what you were talking about
(x) People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you
(x) You are often told to use your “inside voice”.
(x) You use your fingers to do simple math.
total so far= 27
(x) You have eaten a bug.
(x) You are taking this test when you should be doing something important
(x) You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it
(x) You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand, pocket, head, etc.
total so far= 31
(x) You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you.
(x) You break a lot of things.
(x) Your friends know not to use big words around you
(x) You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused
(x) You have fallen out of your chair before
(x) When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling
Total all together= 37... ohhhh...
You own a cell phone.
Black is one of your favorite colors.
You can skateboard.
You love the computer.
You cut yourself over depression.
You like rap.
You like loud music.
You watch/watched the Superbowl.
Dark it is
This was... strange...
there were 3girls
They were looking through peoples
The girl slowly came upon this one
It had creatures in the background and the man
She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.
Right then, an instant message came up.
SatanStalker: So how do u like my
XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??
SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??
SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.
XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make
SatanStalker: I just do.
Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.
Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.
At the time the girl was wearing high
She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.
SatanStalker: You should be afraid.
SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
They were in shock.
Her friend: Holy crap man just block him
The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes
SatanStalker: I am.
SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really
XxLoVemExX: What? My house?
SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.
SatanStalker: Your screen name says
SatanStalker has just signed off.
The girl and her friend were really
friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.
They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.
All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.
Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was
She goes and knocks but no one said
she opens it and finds her friend there on
her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.
If you do not repost this in the next two
one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
Tonight at 1:30am.
Repost or you are going to die
Order a Pizza!
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. (Mine is "Snuffle Bank of Rainbows")
3. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
4. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
5. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
6. Give them your address, exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up. (Give them the wrong address. Preferably your neighbors, that way you can watch)
7. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
8. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
9. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's Master of Puppets CD.
10. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
11. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
12. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g., if phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
13. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
14. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
15. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
16. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.
17. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
18. Change your accent every three seconds.
19. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
20. Start your order with "I'd like. . .” A little later, slap yourself and say, "No, I don't."
21. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say, "Okay, that'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
22. Rent a pizza.
23. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
24. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
25. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
26. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream GOODBYE at the top of your lungs.
27. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
28. Imitate the order taker's voice.
29. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
30. When they say, "What would you like?"--say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."
31. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverers hide behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
32. Ask to see a menu.
33. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
34. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
35. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
36. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say, "Where was I? Who are you?"
37. Ask what the pizza place's phone number is. Hang up, and call again.
38. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
39. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.
40. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
41. Start the conversation with "My Call to Pizza Place, Take 1, and. . . Action!"
42. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
43. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
44. Be vague in your order. (I'd like to order a pizza with meat and a yellow topping. Deliver it to Nova Scotia.")
45. When they repeat your order, say, "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
46. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.
47. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."
48. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
49. Put them on hold.
50. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
51. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say, "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
52. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say, "You just don't get it, do you?"
53. When you're given the price, say, "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
54. Order term life insurance.
55. When they say, "Will that be all?"--snicker and say, "We'll find out, won't we?"
56. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
57. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.
58. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If (s)he says it, say, "Please don't mention that word."
59. Order a steamed pizza.
60. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."
50 Ways to Fail an Exam
1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes of the exam. Wake up, say "oh gee, better get cracking," and scribble furiously. Turn it in a few minutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!"
3. If it is a math or science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer or essay exam, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.
4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.
5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read the questions aloud and debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out sarcastically, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
6. Bring cheerleaders.
7. Walk in, get the exam, and sit down. About five minutes into the exam, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand any of this. I've been to every lecture this semester! What's the deal? And who are you? Where's the regular guy?"
8. Bring a video game. Play with the volume at max level.
9. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example, write "I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs". Be creative.
10. Bring pets.
11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor and say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.
13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
15. Come down with a bad case of Tourette's syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
16. Complete the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math’s or science exams, try using Roman numerals.
17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when she or he is not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.
20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, and continue with the exam.
21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes in. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. Etc...)
23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, swear loudly and walk out triumphantly.
25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts. You could threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink
26. At some point during the exam, start crying for mommy.
27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him or her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper."
28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera," until they drag you away.
30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.
31. Upon receiving the exam look it over. While laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel?’ Days of our Lives' are on!"
32. Bring a water pistol with you. Enough said.
33. from the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to 'Jeopardy'. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to 'The Bridge on the River Kwai'.
34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.
35. If the exam is math’s or science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Work PI and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
36. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.
37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.
38. Bring cheat sheets from another class (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
39. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.
40. after you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, asks him or her to work it out for you.
41. Wrestle mania.
42. Bring balloons, blow them up, and start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.
43. Try to get people in the room to do the Mexican wave.
44. Play Frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.
45. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, and telegrams sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.
47. during the exam, take apart everything around you. This includes desks, chairs, and anything you can reach.
48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
49. Bring a musical instrument with you and play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, claim "it helps me think." Bring a copy of the student handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so".
50. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor (name) Sucks."
Life Movie Music: Ipod's on Shuffle...
Opening Credits: When I Grow Up by Mayday Parade
Waking Up: American Idiot by Green Day
First Day at School: If I Die Young guy version
Falling in Love: This Time Its Different
Breaking up: Einsamkeit (Germany and Prussia)
Prom: Highschool Never Ends by Bowling For Soup
Life's Okay: Numb by Linkin Park
Getting Back Together: Monster by Skillet
Final Battle: Glory
Death Scene: Dance With the Devil by Breaking Benjamin
Funeral Song: I Can't Stay Away
End Credits: Comatose by Skillet
Deleted Scenes: Tik Tok by Woe Is Me
How the hell did all the songs fit?! *Dies in a hole*
They Hurt Her
About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them.
FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off. Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true. If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you.
-If You Live In America, you post this
Why America has some Issues (Yes I live there but these are very true)
1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'
10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.
11. Only in America...Are there two measurement systems to tell you how hot it is outside
12. Only in America...do they lock up the people who see things that don't exist, but keep telling you to use your imagination
13. Only in America...are Native Americans not called Americans
14. Only in America...are you allowed to sell drugs as long as they have a liscense
15. Only in America...do you need a license for everything
16. Only in America...do people come up with Only in America Jokes! =P
17. Only in America...are the trailers for a movie better than the movie
18. Only in America...is the word homo used as a derogatory term, when homo sapiens means, "Wise man"
19. Only in America...do people overuse the word stalker
20. Only in America...do people travel in the winter, the season of snow storms
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer for each question, even if it makes no sense.
1. How are you feeling today?
Just Another Boy Band by The Midnight Beast
2. Will you get far in life?
So What I Lied by Sick Puppies
3. How do your friends see you?
Glory by Hollywood Undead
4. Will you get married?
We're All to Blame by Sum41
5. what is your best friend's theme song?
Saturday by Bowling For Soup
6. What is the story of your life?
If Today Was Your Last Day by Nickleback
7. What will the rest of high school life be like?
Airplanes by The Ready Set
8. How will you get ahead in life
I Hate Everything About You by 3Days Grace
9. What is the best thing about your friends?
She's a Rebel by Green Day
10. To describe your grandparents?
Comatose by Skillet
11. How is your life going?
The Kids Aren't Alright by The Offspring
12. What song will play at your funeral?
13. How does the world see you?
You're Going Down by Sick Puppies
14. Will you have a happy life?
Faggot by MSI
15. Do people secretly lush over you?
Get Out Alive by 3Days Grace
16. How can I make myself happy?
Stupid MF by MSI
17. What should you do with you life?
Take Me As I Am
18. Will you have children?
Last Resort by Papa Roach
(I am happy with this one... it is about suicide... pretty much answers zeh question)
19. What is your deep dark secret?
This Time It's Different
20. What is your mortal enemy's theme song?
Diary Of Jane by Breaking Benjamin
21. What is your personality like?
All of The intros to South Park (Yes that is on my ipod)
22. What will be played at your wedding?
Brother Complex (Am i Belarus or something)
23. Will you be rich?
Never Wanted to Dance by MSI
24. Are you a good chef?
Thanks For Nothing
25. What will you grow up to be? (What job?)
The Drug (Will i sell drugs in the near future?)
27. What is your weakness?
Friendly Goodbye by Bowling For Soup
28. Will you ever take over the world?
World So Cold by 12 Stones
29. Are you scary?
What Are You Looking For? by Sick Puppies
30. Are you a friendly person?
Scars by Papa Roach
31. Are you mentally insane?
Such Horrible Things (Am I burning down my house?)
32. What message are you going to get from a fortune cookie next time you get one?
I Can't Stay Away
33. If you were reincarnated as an animal, what animal would you be?
War Of Change
34. What is your most favorite thing to do?
It's Not Over
35. Did you like this thingie?
Monster by Skillet
When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.
When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.
When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.
When a girl says "I love you." she means it.
When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.
The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.
The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her."
If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.
If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.
Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.
Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.
So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.
If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all eternity.
The girl you just called fat? She is overdosing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that man with the ugly scars? He fought for his country. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. Put this as you're profile if you're against bullying. I bet 95% of you wont put this on your profile, but I'm sure the people with a heart and backbone will.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE:
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered for having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing
The 27 Commandments of Fanfiction
1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it.
2. Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. This displeases the masses.
3. Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story.
4. Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting.
5. Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly.
6. Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well.
7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious.
8. Thou shalt not use :) , ;D , or :( in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character.
9. Thou shalt try-eth to keep characters in character!
10. Thou shalt not treat every criticism as a flame.
11. The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so.
12. Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary.
13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words in length.
14. Thou shalt not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character- yes we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character.
15. If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning.
16. Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason).
17. Thou shalt show and not tell.
18. Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers.
19. Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak-est - writing is an art.
20. Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise.
21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader.
22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confuse-ed.
23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason.
24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on, it displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision and make angels weep.
25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story. It will also create Minis. Mini-Balrogs, Mini-Aragogs, Mochi Nations - whatever it is, the Mini will hate you.
26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside.
27. Thou shall use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers
This is a true story:
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrusted the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.
This is a true story. All schools have a class clown, someone that gets on everyones nerves and that no one likes. There was one of these boys in this one school. Nobody liked him at all. He had no friends, the teachers hated him for his disruptiveness, and the students found him annoying beyond belief. He never seemed to care. One day, he had finally stepped on his teachers last nerve. What the teacher did was make everyone in the class stand up and tell the boy something they didn't like about him. As each of the thirty students stood up and said something about him they didn't like, he only sat and didn't seem to mind. All of the students did it.
That day, when school was out, the boy went home, grabbed his dads gun, and shot himself in the head.
If you think that the teacher was to blame, and that what she did was morally wrong and completely shameful, copy and paste this into your profile. Then, if you would have been the one to stand up and say "I'm not going to do this" then add your username to the list:
EmoWolves of Shadow
Sasuke Uzumaki 83