Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.
Hi there!!! Are you lost? OK good! Now listen to me! So I'm CrazyasAmidgetOnskittles13 and I am as crazy as I say I am (or am I?)! Sometimes when I talk I can confuse the people around me and myself! I have the weirdest friends and I think I am crazy! When I first meet you I act shy but when I get used to you I am a loveable creature! But some people don't like me because I am all sugar and...stuff and they say I'm annoying. Of well fudge to them!
Favorite Color: Orange and dark blue/purple/black/maroon
Favorite Mystic Animal: Unicorns!!!!!! I love them...I have a pillow pet of one! It's purple...and named Draco...yes after Draco from Harry Potter...
Favorite Food: Zas and chocolate! Cotton candy, deep fried stuff...
Weirdest Fact I Know: There's a shop in Seattle, Washington that if you bring any food they will deep frie it for you! Say you brought pizza...fried! Pie, Hershey bar, root beer (idk if they would do that who knows), Resses Cup!
Do You Like Explosions?: YES!!!!
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
If you could read that put it in your profile.
If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang, from maximum ride),TwilightNatalia(I had a crush on Ed from Fullmetal Alchemist for like 3 days then I got over it, if that counts), vampirechick123 (Edwrad cullen...even though he is real) snow in my coco (Edward cullen. Sexier than you! and all mine...I wish. I refuse to believe he isn't real.), Pepa333(Draco Malfoy, Edward Cullen, Damon Salvatore), SlytherinLuver(Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Tom Riddle, Edward Cullen) Dark Jasmine (Draco Malfoy: evil and sexy & Edward Cullen: Sexy) CrazyasAmidgetOnskittles13 (Edward Cullen, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Carisile Cullen, Jasper Cullen, Damon Salvatore, Stefan Salvatore, Emmett Cullen, Jacob Black and Will Turner! They are real!!!!),
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this
Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!!.
If you have ever tried to go into the backyard and ran into the glass door that you didn't see, copy and paste this into your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
I have the kind of friends that if my house waz burning down, they'd be there making S'mores and hitting on hot firemen."
If you get really good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.
If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, mahalo4ursupport, Reader128, Lady Prince, LilyScorpius, Pepa333, SlytherinLuver, CrazyasAmidgetOnskittles13
If you or your best friend is completely insane, copy and paste this onto your profile.
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be one of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.
A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!!
Try Not To Cry
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Please if you would,
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Now you have 2 choices,
1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE
Please pass it on.
True Poem Bout Actual Child Abuse
Her dad waz a drunk
Her mom waz an addict
Her parents kept her
locked in an attic
Her only friend waz a little toy bear
It waz old and worn out
And had patches of hair
She alwayz talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound
Until her parents unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endore
A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be in such a terrible place?
But she grabs her bear
And she softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die
She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking, "God, why?
Why iz my life always sinking?"
Such a bad life
For a sad little girl
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did
Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child waz hit and slapped
As hours went by
Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It waz sharp and pointy
One that she made
She thrust the blade
Right in her chest
"You deserve to die you worthless pest!"
The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed for her bear
And started crying
Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything waz az quiet az a mouse
One officer slowly
Opened the door
To find the sad little girl
Lying dead on the floor
It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms.
If you disapprove of child abuse, put this on your profile.
(I just cried a little...)
"I have the kind of friends that if my house waz burning down, they'd be there making S'mores and hitting on hot firemen."
"When every little girl in kindergarten wanted to be a princess, I kinda wanted to be a vampire."
"Friends ask why you're crying...Best friends already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry."
"A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend laughs at you and trips you again."
"Me and You are Friends: You smile, I smile. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, well, I'm gonna miss your emails."
He said, 'I don't know why you wear a bra. You've got nothing to put in it.' Then she said, 'Well, you wear pants, don't you?'"
I'm smiling. That alone should scare you."
Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts
145. It is not necessary to yell “BURN” every time Snape takes a point from Gryffindor.
119. Telling Slytherin first years that to enter their common room they must point their wands strait up and say, “Morsmordre” is just plain mean.
93. I will not enchant a scarecrow and suit of armor to skip through the halls singing, “We’re Off to See the Wizard”.
93. I will not enchant a scarecrow and suit of armor to skip through the halls singing, “We’re Off to See the Wizard”.
75. I must not point at Voldemort and say “I taught him everything he knows.”
64. However tempting it may be, I will not send Voldemort a Christmas card telling him how much we all love him, even through these difficult times.
58. I will not jump up, yelling “VOLDEMORT, RUN!” in the middle of a Order of the Phoenix or DA meeting.
50. I will not start singing and dancing in the middle of a class and blame that someone put the Imperious Curse on me.
48. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with “What’s new, pussycat?”
14. I will not tell Draco and Hermione to “Get a room” whenever they start to fight.
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
I killed a dog because I smoke crack! (It goes with the thing below...)
Pick the month you were born on...
1(Jan) - I shot
Pick the day (number) you were born on...
01 - a rock star
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing...
White - because im sexy like that
So You Want to Be a Death Eater..Your guide to everything evil!This list may contain spoilers!
Greetings, new follower:
If you are reading this letter then you have doubtless been accepted into the select band of professional wizards known as the Death Eaters. If by some unprecedented chance you are reading this and you have not been accepted into the Death Eaters then I suggest you put down this letter and leave now, or the consequences for you will be as terrible as my lifelong study into the Dark Arts can make them.
Please find enclosed a short introductory guide to Death Eating, which you must memorise and then eat, to prevent security leaks. (Due to an unfortunate fatality last week, it is now permitted to cut the guide into small pieces before swallowing).
The next meeting is scheduled for midnight, 11th June, when I trust we will have the pleasure of watching your initiation ceremony. Please remember to bring a clean handsaw and enough twine. It's so distressing when people don't prepare for these events properly.
Yours in infamy,
Welcome to this helpful guide to being a Death Eater. This leaflet should provide you with all the information you need to become a successful servant to the Dark Lord. It will if you know what's good for you. Please read every page before eating.
List of Equipment required for new Death Eaters:
(Equipment marked must be obtained from Messers. Gorgon & Black Limited, outfitters to the intensely evil and terminally stylish since 12 BC. Their premises are on Knockturn Alley, but they now do mail order as well.)
Long Black Robes (Casual)
Cane (For favored members only. Unauthorized possession of a cane will result in a heavy fine. Before possessing cane, it is necessary to pass a rigorous series of tests to ascertain that your carrying-a-cane-in-a-nonchalant-yet-evil-fashion skills are up to scratch).
Curses and Counter-Curses by Professor Vindictus Viridian
Death Eater may also own snake or dragon or hippogriff. But only Lord Voldemort may possess a basilisk.
Death Eater Rules:
No Death Eater shall be a spy for Dumbledore.
Frequently Asked Questions:
What happens if Voldemort is displeased with me?
As this is a fairly run (and currently short-staffed) organization, you will probably receive a warning. And some soul-destroying torture. A second offense and you will probably die a slow death. Options include:
Being slowly eaten by a manticore.
What should I do if I decide to leave the organization?
Make your funeral arrangements as quickly as possible.
What is the salary like?
You should be in this job for the principle of the thing, not for sordid reasons. So let's just say that it's much, much better than they pay at the Ministry. There will also be opportunities for pillage, looting, theft, etc., and Christmas bonuses are guaranteed.
Does the Dark Mark hurt?
Of course it does; this is an evil society after all. What are you, a wimp?
Can the Dark Mark be removed by laser treatment?
No. Only a moron would ask such a stupid question.
But it can be temporarily obscured by a good-quality concealer. (Make sure it's a shade darker than your skin tone, as a lighter shade will simply draw attention to the tattoo. Pat translucent powder over the concealer to make it last longer.)
Is there a retirement age for Death Eaters?
You probably won't live long enough to have to deal with this problem.
Can I kill personal enemies or just opponents of Voldemort?
Murder is encouraged on principle; however, personal killings should be reserved for each individual Death Eater's free time, as obviously serving Lord Voldemort is much more important. Occasional massacre outings/ dark revels may take place as rewards for good (i.e. bad) behavior.
What should I do if Voldemort is defeated at the height of his powers by a one-year-old boy?
This circumstance is so unlikely that there is no point devising a protocol to deal with it.
The Death Eater Anthem (to be memorised by each new recruit as soon as possible). Please note that this tune should never, never, never, never be sung to the tune of "Blackadder," an inane Muggle television program to which we are completely oblivious and never watch. Honestly.
Who lurk beneath the undergrowth?
Being a Death Eater is naturally a dangerous job. Lord Voldemort accepts no liability for any pain/suffering/torture/impalement/loss of limbs/grievous bodily harm/disintegration/insanity/imprisonment/loss of soul/death which you may experience while in his service. No good will come of any attempts to sue him as a negligent employer. Trust us.
However, in order to protect members, these safety guidelines have been developed for Death Eaters both during leisure time and on missions for the Dark Lord:
Don't try to take out Harry Potter yourself. It is extremely presumptuous. Leave it to Lord Voldemort, who has much more practice.
Employ masterly deceit to conceal your allegiance to the Dark Lord: e.g., if someone accuses you of being a Death Eater, laugh carelessly and say: "No, I am not a Death Eater. Would you like a cup of tea?" This Machiavellian trickery should be enough to convince them.
If this does not convince your accuser, have them discreetly murdered. (Sussex and Fox Ltd, of 13, Knockturn Alley, run a very efficient assassination service and are currently offering cut-price deals for friends and associates of the Dark Lord. Present your membership card at the counter for further details.)
Keep your wand on you at all times, even if you are asleep/on a hot date/in the bath/on the beach/wearing very tight-fitting leather garments (or all of these at once).
Ostentatious indicators of evil, such as manic laughter/dressing entirely in black swooshy robes (Snape, this means you)/ making sinister comments/killing people should be practiced only in private.
If you suspect someone of being a spy, kill them and their family at the first opportunity. If it turns out they were not a spy at all, pass it off as a light-hearted practical joke.
Only eat food prepared by yourself or your faithful minions. Do not trust your spouse(s)/partner(s), no matter how pretty he/she/they may be.
Similarly, do not accept drinks from anyone. This may cause offense when visiting a pub or bar but it's better than being dead. Obviously.
Do not take off your mask for any reason while on a mission. If people see your face while you are conjuring the Dark Mark/ massacring etc, they may suspect that you are a Death Eater.
Do not try to smoke while wearing your mask, as it is not fireproof.
Never address your colleagues by name while on a mission. Survivors may recall it at a later date. For the same reason, never mention your address or telephone number to anyone you are kidnapping/raping/torturing/killing, no matter how attractive they may be. Evil relationship experts have stated that romance is unlikely to flourish under such circumstances anyway.
Burn all sensitive documents. Not only will this deter spies, it is also amusing as it contributes to global warming.
Set up an anti-Apparating spell round your residence (but make sure you have a Portkey handy so you're not embarrassingly trapped there if the place is attacked by Aurors).
Prepare a secret hideout for yourself should your cover be blown. Failure to do this may lead to your sharing a hideout with another Death Eating family, which often results in friction over use of bathroom facilities, television, etc.
Don't upset Lord Voldemort. It will only end in tears. (And multiple burns, fractured limbs, mortal torment, etc.)
HAHAHAHA! I laughed SO hard when I read that! So you wanna be a Death Eater? HAHAHAHAHA
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