Author has written 5 stories for Harry Potter.I've decided to populate this space with good quotes from good fics... So, er, here:
"The parchment was blank and he was ugly."
"But now you're gay. I'm not gay… am I? Do I have to be gay too?" - Peter
"So Sirius doesn't fancy you?"
“You’re not the man you pretend to be, Lucius,” she said quietly.
"Draco raised his hand to throw a fork at Harry, but Ginny caught it." - Ferret in the Burrow by sinisterkitty13
"There's something wrong with this yoghurt."
She would understand that Draco Malfoy, Death Eater extraordinaire, was someone to be feared, someone to try to bite... Draco couldn’t be happier. He was sowing Death Eater oats; he was going to torture her, he was going to call her a harlot and maybe, even, he was going to get bitten. - The Bachelor by Mrs. H
“I mean, here you’ve been doing the not- quite-alive thing for about a decade; then, dicking around with Potter for another two plus years..." - Draco in The Bachelor by Mrs. H (again.)
Being called “trollop” was just as good, well almost he imagined, as being bitten. - The Bachelor by Mrs. H (it's SOOO funny!)
VOLDEMORT: Okay, okay, settle down here. It’s come to my attention that there is…a spy among us.
SEVERUS: Magical scars might be cool, but acne scars are just ugly. - Voldie's Special Meeting with Lucius and Severus by Underthebridge
"She didn't know where or what Grim Old Place was, but she knew it didn't sound very pleasant" - Pia from AMA by snugglethemuggle
“Ahhh, but perhaps times have changed. I remember this one time, when I was but a tiny sixth year—my beard only two feet long back then, and more silver than white--” - Dumbledore in The Unlikely Side Effects of Floo Powder by Miss Augurey
Draco considered his situation: “Perhaps,” he considered, “I am not cut out to be a Death Eater. I’ve always liked cooking. Maybe, I should have been a chef--“ The Bachelor by Mrs. H
“ Well, for starters, stop calling him You-Know-Who. His name is Voldemort. Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself. If you really don’t want to say Voldemort, call him something else. At least give him a name! Call him Shirley for all I care.” Harry in The Amulet of Time 3 by Lunathemoonmonster
"I... missed you," he finished lamely. I'm such an idiot. Voldemort, come and get me now, it'd be quite all right, really.
"Dear Dark Lord," she said, catching her breath. "Kindly excuse Harry Potter from your dastardly schemes this term. He has a Transfiguration final which he cannot be dead for." - both from Blush by Granger
“Well, yippee for you,” Harry remarked dryly. “I’ll be walking into a roomful of Weasleys, feeling like I’ve got the words I just shagged your little sister imprinted on my forehead,” - Harry
"Headmaster, I have experience with mutual back scratching, and most of the time it’s a case of ‘I’ll scratch your back, and you’ll stick a knife in mine’.” - Heather in Amulet of Time 4 by Lunathemoonmonster
He laughed softly as we walked to Dumbledore’s office. His laugh seemed to echo off the walls, making it seem like all of Hogwarts was happy. -Muggle Messenger by Telpe Nar Roccar
She loved Draco, loved him to itsy bitsy bits - That Thing You Do by Nutsaboutremus
“Muh-my…daddy…never loved me! I never felt the love of family! I was horribly beaten at the orphanage. When I asked for more gruel they laughed in my—wait, that’s an overstuffed book about homeless British kids. This is an overstuffed series about magical British kids. Dammit, I’m getting senile.” - Voldemort in Multiple Personality Disorder by Underneaththebridge
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