Author has written 13 stories for Maximum Ride, Death Note, Tiger's Curse Series, Inuyasha, and Assassin's Creed.
Age: Old enough to know better
Fav color: Maroon
Fav animal: Cats
Fav food: Pizza _
Fav things to do: Read, draw, watch anime, etc.
Fav book: Tiger's curse series
Best friend: bobbobberman123456789 who is also my twin Angela.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.
If you've ever run into an inanimate object and then blamed it for it, copy and paste this in your profile
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy this into your profile
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (yay!)
If you are anti-social sometimes, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile.
If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, chef thing about Iggy, post this in your profile.
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquito's giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile. (Bad bugs)
If you have ever tripped down the stairs, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you agree that Fang is Fangalicious, copy this into your profile.
If your view on Maximum Ride is that there are much worse things you could be addicted to, copy and paste this into your profile..
If several inanimate objects hate you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile
If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex.
If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when Gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile!
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
If you think those dang kids should give the Rabbit the freaking trix already, copy and paste this in your profile
Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.
If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.
If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile
If you've ever wanted to go into a book and slap/scream/strangle a character, copy and paste this onto your profile
If someone has ever asked you what Maximum Ride is about, and they give you a look that says, do-I-really-hang-out with you? copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you wierd, copy and paste this on your profile.
If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile
If you talk so fast no one can understand you unless they try really hard and even then it's a struggle, copy this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you think the world is heading to a bad place, and are planning on doing something about it by making wonderful stories, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.
65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read, if you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then copy and paste to your profile.
If you have ever wanted to go into a book and kill one of the characters with sproks, put this in your profile
Courage... how stupid. Insanity is so much more fun. – Asura
99% of American teenagers would die if Justin Bieber jumped off a building. Copy and paste this on your profile if you're the 1% who would be watching the whole thing wearing 3D glasses and eating popcorn while screaming "DO A BACK FLIP, YA PUSSY!"
98% of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was cool not to breathe. Copy and paste this on your profile if you'd be the 2% laughing your ass off
If you have screamed at the TV and/or computer screen before, copy and paste this on your profile
If you are and forever will be an anime geek, copy and paste this on you're profile
If fanfiction is to you what myspace is to other people, copy and paste this on your profile
If you think Chip the Wolf should just go to the freakin supermarket and buy his own cookie crisps, copy and paste this on your profile
If you wanna hit Buzz the Honey Bee with a fly swatter, copy and paste this on your profile
If you are suffering from post Potter depression, copy and paste this on your profile (NOOO, IT'S OVER!! *sob*)
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this on your profile
If you have fallen up the stairs, copy and paste this on your profile
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how the hell you did it
A true friend is one who stays in my car no matter how many times I almost kill us both
I don't want to be an adult. I want to be an angsty teenager who can't fight their inner demons and instead takes it out on everyone else around them
Roses are red, violets are blue, why am I even talking to you?
What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?
If you expect the unexpected, wouldn't that make the unexpected the expected?
If a man speaks in a forest, and there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
These are actual instruction labels!
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping (Gee that's the only time I have to work on my hair)
On a Bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase neccesary. See inside for details (shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions-use like regular soap (and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Servng suggestion-defrost (but it's just a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu Dessert: (printed on bottem of box) Do not turn upside down (too late you lose!)
On Mark & Spencer's Bread Pudding: Warning-will be hot after heating (are you sure? let's expirement!)
On packaging on a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body (but wouldn't that take les time? who's body?)
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery (we could do a lot to reduce construction accidents if we just keep those 5 year old off those forklifts)
On Nyptol sleep aid: Warning-may cause drowsiness (one would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Keep out of children (something apparently got lost on the translation)
On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor and outdoor use only (as supposed to use in outer space)
On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use (now I'm curious!)
On Sainbury's peanuts: Warning-contains nuts (but no peas?)
On an American Airline packet of nuts: Instructions-open packet, eat nuts (somebody got paid big bucks to write that one)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop with hands (Raise your hand if you've tried this!)
On a child's Superman costume: Suit does not enable you to fly (oh go ahead! that's right, destroy a universal childhood belief!)
On a Yamakee electronic keyboard instructions: Read these instructions (no really!)
You have a short temper.
You often act on your emotions without thinking first.
You are very competitive.
You like to play with fire.
You are not a strong swimmer or you can't swim at all.
You prefer warm weather over cold weather
You often lose control over yourself.
You can be quite reckless.
You sometimes hurt people without realizing it.
People have often called you insane.
You have a calm, laid-back personality.
You like to go to the beach.
You rarely get angry.
When you do get angry, you know how to control it.
You think before you act.
You are good at breaking up fights.
You are a good swimmer.
You like the rain.
You can stay calm in stressful situations.
You are very generous.
You are physically strong.
You have a close connection with nature.
You don't mind getting dirty.
You form strong opinions on issues that concern you.
You could easily survive in the wild.
You care about the environment
You can easily focus on your work without getting distracted.
You rarely get depressed.
You aren't afraid of anything.
You prefer to have a strict set of rules.
You have a free spirit.
You hate rules.
You prefer to be out in the open rather than in small, enclosed spaces.
You hate to be restrained.
You are very independent and outgoing.
You are quite intelligent.
You tend to be impatient.
You are easily distracted.
You can sometimes be hyperactive and/or annoying.
You wish you could fly.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I MUST be going to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be f*cking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be gay too
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a big butt
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I MUST be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy. ( I am crazy)
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I MUST do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I MUST only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I MUST be a nerd that does homework 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I MUST be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat. (does it count if it was a remote controlled one?)
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small jack.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino. (i burn easily!)
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. (iam)
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE… So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I'm AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I’m QUIET if I don’t know you so I MUST be emo or anti-social.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT, so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the time
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I CURSE A LOT so I MUST be a bad kid and have problems
I LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST not be having problems
I like FIRE, so I MUST be an arsonist
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!
You say vampires, I say SAIYANS!
You say Rob Pattinson, I say AKIRA TORIYAMA!
You say Bella and Edward, I say VEGETA AND BULMA!
You say Team Edward, I say TEAM GETA!
You say Bella, I say BULMA!
You say Jacob, I say KAKAROT!
You say Forks, I say THE UNIVERSE!
If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile
If even when you can’t see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile (he is watching you *glances around nervously*)
92 of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie & Fitch said it wasn't cool to breath anymore. If you are part of the 8 who would be laughing your head off, copy and paste this into your profile.
99% of teens would cry if they saw Justin Bieber on top of a skyscraper about to jump. If you are that 1% sitting there with popcorn and 3D glasses screaming "DO A BACKFLIP" paste this onto your profile.
If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!
If your part of the .0000000001 percent of people who does NOT have a MySpace, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings while you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy and paste this onto your profile. (I don't need anyones approval besides my own.)
Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!!
If your one of those people who can literally stay on the computer for hours on in if only you weren't forced to get off, then copy and paste this on your profile.
If you actually take the time to read other peoples profiles, copy this to yours.
If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do so at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.
If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE.
If you like anime or manga, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever been worried for another person, copy and paste this into your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
If you are a teenager, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile. LOTS OF PEOPLE =3
If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.
If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.
98% of teens say "I love you" and don't mean it...I am one of the 2% that do mean it. If you are too, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever had random loud singing outbursts in public, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever copy and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfics, copy this onto your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile. (Poor Vegeta.)
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear baiting, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile.
If you think that Vegeta and Bulma are a match made in heaven repost this to your profile.
When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? Who likes lemons?
When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
When Life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the people you hate.
When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!
Only fteefin prenect of poelpe can raed this. fI you are one fo taht prenect, cpoy and pstae tihs itno yuor porflie.
If 6 is one of your favorite stitchpunks from the movie '9', copy and paste this onto your profile.
Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
Post this on your profile if you've ever laughed at something completely random
If you've ever tripped over air, copy and paste this onto your profile.(that takes skill)
f you have ever bumped into an inanimate object and said 'sorry' to it, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile
If you're a bookworm and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever ran into a glass door because you thought it was open, copy and paste this to your profile
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny Me, I will deny you in front of My Father in the gates of Heaven.
I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by these angels, but I call them my best friends :
Your a book-aholic if...
You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.
Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. (Get tired too easily!)
You write fanfictions about the book.
You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else in the entire world) to read it.
Everything reminds you of the book.
You quote random lines all the time.
You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class
You've read a book more than five times.
You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days.
You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character
Me, behave? Seriously? As a child I saw Tarzan almost naked, Cinderella arrived home after midnight, Pinocchio told lies, Aladdin was a thief, Batman drove over 200 miles an hour, Snow White lived in a house with 7 men, Popeye smoked a pipe and had tattoos, Pac Man ran around to digital music while eating pills that enhanced his performance, and Shaggy and Scooby were mystery solving hippies that always had the munchies. The fault is not mine! If you had this childhood and loved it, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
YOUR GUY SIDE:
You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favourite colours.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night.
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
You wear lip gloss/stick.
You love skirts.
Cats are better than dogs.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink.
Go to your mum for advice.
Pink, yellow, orange, purple or gold is one of your favourite colors.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the shopping centre.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewellery.
Shopping is one of your favourite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body perfume.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like being the star of every thing.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.
My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune
98 percent of teenagers drink or have been around alcohol, put this in your profile if you like MUFFINS!
Eighty percent of Americans don't smoke. If you're one of that eighty percent, copy and paste this into your profile. (And PROUD of it!)
if you don’t dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy this into your profile.
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever looked all over the house for something that was in your hand the whole time copy and paste this into your profile.
If you believe in magic, copy and paste this into your profile.
Please read-true story (not me)
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.
She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry
But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'
His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'
'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'
Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''
'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
'My mommy loves white roses.'
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.
I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.
And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile
"Let's eat grandpa!!"
"Let's eat, grandpa!!"
Punctuation saves lives. If you finally realized the importance, copy this into your profile
97% of the teens would cry if Edward Cullen was on the edge of a cliff. 2% would do nothing. 1% would go forward and push him down. If you're part of the 1% copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself -(It's kinda hard...). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
-Everyone has photographic memory; som people just don't have the film.
-"I could have eaten alphabits and crapped out a better speech!"
-"I have a dream... and in it, somethig eats you."
-Time is a wonderful teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all of its students.
-Silence is a virtue. If you don't talk, how will people know you're stupid?
-When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
-When life gives you lemons, throw them at the mean people and hope it gets them in the eyes.
-If at first you don't succeed, burn all the evidence that you tried.
-Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered, "Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"
-I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
-There's a light at the end of every tunnel, just pray it isn't a train.
-Those who say nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
-Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.
-I couldn't repair your brakes so I made your horn louder.
-"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."
-Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-Isn't it funny that the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' and 'tics' meanin 'bloodsucking creatures'?
-I haven't lost my mind! I sold it on eBay.
-I have plenty of common sense! I just chose to ignore it.
-Yeah, I'm a freak. BUT I'M THE COOLEST FREAK YOU'LL EVER MEET!!
-If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
-Love your enemies. And that's only one way to annoy them!
-Tell the truth and RUN FOR IT.
-If everything is going well in my mind then you have overlooked something.
-The one who smiles when all goes wrong has thought of someone to blame.
-I got you a present. It's a CD. I hope you don't have it already coz I don't have the receipt. I didn't exactly buy it.
-When in doubt, make up words.
-An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
-Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.
-Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
-Be insane. Well behaved girls are no fun to read about.
-I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.
-Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
-Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
-Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
-I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?
-I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
-Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
-Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS!
-"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."
-Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
-The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
-When there's a will, I want to be in it.
-"It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt-then it's hilarious!"
-I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster.
-To catch me you got to be fast, to find me you got to be smart, but to be me? Damn you must be kidding...
-When you cry, I cry. When you laugh, I laugh. When you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
-RANDOMOSITY: The art of being random.
-Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
-One day we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
-Education is important, but school is another matter.
-STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand
-I had a friend once. Then his rope broke and he ran for it.
-Don’t knock on death’s door…ring the doorbell and run. He hates that.
-Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later.
-If you can't BEAT them, JOIN them.
If you can't JOIN them, BRIBE them.
If you can't BRIBE them, BLACKMAIL them.
If you can't BLACKMAIL them, KILL them.
If you can't KILL them, your SCREWED.
-I'm the kind of girl who laughs at... nothing.
I'm the kind of girl who gets on the bad side of a teacher by correcting their grammar.
I'm the kind of girl who looks at Twilight and laughs at the cheesiness.
I'm the kind of girl who has a picture of Joe Jonas pasted to my dart board. DIE YOU STUPID JONAS BROTHER!
I'm the kind of girl who is willing to drop-kick Twilight books out of my apartment window.
I'm the kind of girl who can hold a conversation with you for fifteen minutes and then ask, "What was your name again?"
I'm the kind of girl who reads rather than watching television.
I'm the kind of girl who is considered weird.
I'm the kind of girl who would've let stupid Edward commit suicide.
I'm the kind of girl who thinks that Stephenie Meyer and all of her little vampires should be charged with first degree murder for the death of good literature.
I'm the kind of girl who doesn't care what you think.
I'm the kind of girl who doesn't care if you care what I think because I don't care what you think, so you needn't care what I think and I don't care.
I'm the kind of girl who plots against fictional characters.
I'm the kind of girl who would scream "Boo!" at a football game and then ask what the bad call was.
I'm the kind of girl who thinks that as you read this, you will laugh and nod and repost.
I'm the kind of girl who believes in equal rights, and doesn't care if I sound cheesy.
I'm the kind of girl who wishes there was a law against stupidity.
I'm the kind of girl who finds what's lost where I already looked.
Look at #1, and continue with the fun!
15 THINGS I'M GOING TO DO AT WAL-MART
1)When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!
If you could read a 700 page book in a day copy and paste this to your profile.
f you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this to your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it on your profile.
I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this on your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...
If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs ot yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this to your profile.
If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this to your profile
If you proudly show off all your battle wounds (AKA, the scar you got from tripping on the sidewalk, bruise from a baseball, etc.), put this on your profile
Mental Hospital Phone Menu
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
8 THINGS I HATE ABOUT PEOPLE:
1. People who point to their wrist while asking for the time. Come on, I know where my watch is, where the hell is yours? I don't point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is.
2. When people say while watching a film, "Did you see that?" No, freak, I just paid ten dollars to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.
3. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
4. When people correct my usage of words using correct grammar while I'm talking. It's a tad annoying, not to mention rude.
5. When you are waiting at the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here, genius?
6. When you're eating something and someone asks, "Is that good?" No, it's really disgusting. I just like to eat things I hate.
7. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks, that's an image I really didn't need.
8. When people say, "Oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Damn right. What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with “In Accordance to the Prophecy”.
7. Don’t use any punctuation.
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Specify that your drive thru order is “To Go”
10. Sing Along at the Opera
11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I WON I WON!!”
14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!”
15. Tell your children over diner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It’s called therapy.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Is that the yellow banana tree? No, Dora, that's the ocean.
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.
15 percent of every high school population is considered "Popular". 20 percent is desperate to become a part of the popular 15 percent. 20 percent couldn't care less. 15 percent realize that popularity doesn't matter. 10 are too busy worrying about their grades to care. 5 percent are goths, 5 percent can speak another language fluently, and 5 percent are too stupid to realize that no one likes them. If you are a part of the 5 percent who think the 'unpopular' 85 percent should rebel against the popular 15 percent, copy this into your profile.
98% of teens would go into depression if Justin Beiber (That annoying retard who sung 'Baby') fell into a vat of boiling oil. If you're one of the 2% that would throw a party, burn the Justin Beiber dolls and go up to his fans and spray them with boiling oil, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts:
1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms
2) I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.
3) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class
4) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss
5) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda
6) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar
7) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy
8) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"
9) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
10) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches
12) When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Batmoblie, Robin!"
13) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.
14) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor
15) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental
16) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"
17) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
18) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"
19) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bamf!" everytime I apparate.
20) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.
21) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
22) I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand.
23) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.
24) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice.
25) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.
26) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.
27) I will not refer to the Accio charm as "the Force".
28) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays.
29) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library.
30) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.
31.)I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore".
32.)House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
33.) Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever moneymaking concept.
34.)I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.
35.) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.
36.)I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.
37.) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.
38.)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.
39.) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.
40.) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
41.)The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.
42.)I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".
43.)When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.
44.)Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.
45.)A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.
46.) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. "
47.)I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.
48.). I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.
49.)Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.
50.)Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.
51.)Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
52.)I may not have a private army.
53.) I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.
54.)Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.
55.)I am not the wicked witch of the west.
56.) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.
57.) I will not melt if water is poured over me.
58.) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.
59.)I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.
60.)I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.
61.) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.
62.) I will not test my Potions assigments by spiking Snape's drink with them.
63.) - Especially not all of them at once.
64.) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."
65.) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos."
66.)Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.
67.)I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.
68.)When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'.
69.)Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.
70.)The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters.
71.)I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.
72.)Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of muggle firearms.
73.)Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.
74.)I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.
75.)I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.
76.)I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
77.)I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'.
78.)I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.
79.)Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.
80.)Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles.
81.) I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
82.)Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".
83.)I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape.
84.). - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.
85.)If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.
86.) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.
87.)I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.
88.)I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron.
89.)I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times.
90.)It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says All the good looking ones die young with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.
91.)I will not yell "Hey look It's Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade
92.)I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad bad nightmare about Harry
93.)I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall
94.) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."
95.) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.
96.) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.
97.) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.
98.) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.
99.) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."
100.) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.
101.)I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.
102.) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.
103.) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously.
104.) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.
105.) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.
106.) I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."
107.) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.
108.) I will not call Professor McGonagall "McGoogles".
109.) I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rocks series during Arithmacy exams.
110.) Dumbledore is not Gandalf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.
111.) There is no such thing as the chamber of Double Secret Probation.
112.) My name is not "the Dark Lord Happy-Pants" I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.
113.) Bringing fortune cookies to divination class does not count for extra credit.
114.) I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it and standing by the fire in the common room.
115.) I will not tell first years they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.
116.) I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.
117.) I will not give Gryffindors pixie sticks.
118.) I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.
119.) A time turner is not a flux capacitator I should therefore not try to install it in a muggle car.
120.) I shall not refer to DADA professors as canaries in a coal mine.
121.) When fighting deatheaters in the annual June good vs. evil fight I will not lift my wand skyward and shout "There can only be ONE".
122.) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums no matter how bored I become.
123.) It is generally accepted that cats and dragons can not interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the results would be.
124.) 42 is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.S.
125.) I am allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, or an owl. I am not allowed to have reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.
126.) No matter how good an Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
127.) I will not refer to the Defense against the Dark arts professor as Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak
You know you live in 2011 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don’t have a screenname or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.(I actually didn’t!!)
If you don't have a boyfriend and are proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.
less than 1 percent of teenagers don't use make-up. Are you one of those who don't? BE PROUD AND GLUE THIS THING IN YOUR PROFILE!
If your friends think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog), and you don’t care, copy and paste this is your profile. (Maximum Ride
If you want wings and powers (I hope you do) copy and paste this to your profile.
If you read books that no one has ever heard of, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a friend that is a guy, copy and past this into your profile.
If you have ever heard of National Talk Like a Pirate Day, copy this into your profile. ARRR!!
Paste this into your profile if you're a procrastination addict. Do it now! DON'T DELAY!
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate anything and everything about Hannah Montana and High School Musical, copy this into your profile.
If you constantly feel as though you're surrounded by those stupid, preppy people, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think rap stands for Retards Attempting Poetry then copy and paste this on your profile
If you realize that copying and pasting stuff into ones profile is completely pointless, yet do it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.
87 percent of people will believe in a statement simply because there is a percentage in it.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when someone will come along, open you up, and eat your insides.
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor." A long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, my friends, for I may not return alive.
Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
If you want to be the type of girl that makes the devil go "oh crap, she's up!" when your feet hit the floor in the morning, copy and paste this.
If you're a Christian, and not ashamed to let everyone know it, copy and paste this.
I am worse than evil... I am the author!!
"If you ever get hugged by me, see yourself privaged."-liliedove
"Touch me, and the last thing you'll see is my ten pound, over loaded purse."-liliedove
When life gives you lemons squeeze them in somebody's eyes and RUN!
NBC: No Body Cares.
Being a writer gives you the chance to be the dictator of your own imaginary world.
I'm great in bed. I can sleep for days.
A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.
I plead temporary insanity.
If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile
When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth. Then, you’re pretty much dead no matter what you wish for.
We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box
It's you and me versus the world... we attack at dawn.
Whoever said that nothing's impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
Genius by birth, slacker by choice
I hate you. Why? I need a reason?
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'
People say that guys are worse bullies then girls. If you think this is bogus, copy this into your profile.
Copy and paste this onto your profile is you hate Twilight, and are proud of it!
If you hear voices of characters in your head...copy and paste this on you're profile.
If the Voices of your characters threaten to drive you Mad (or Madder) copy this to your profile.
If your Characters talk to you in your head, copy this to your profile.
If YOU respond/talk to your Characters, copy this to your- SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU! I'M NOT WRITING YOUR STORY RIGHT NOW!- profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you post this on profile.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.
If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile.
If you have ever yelled at an inanimate object copy and paste this into your profile.
If you can go on a sugar buzz without even eating sugar, again, join the club and copy and paste this to your profile.
If you've ever walked into a wall, door, table, chair, or other large solid object even when it was in plain sight, copy and paste this in your profile.
Silence is golden... but shouting is fun!
99.5 percent of all teens would cry if the Jonas brothers were on a 20 story building about to jump. The other 0.5 percent would bring a chair and popcorn an say "JUMP,BITCHES, JUMP!!". Copy and paste this into your profile if you're one of the 0.5.
96% of young girls would cry if they saw Edward Cullen in flames, 2% would be holding marshmallows on a stick. Copy this if you be the 2% wondering how the hell he got out of the book.
If you hate Twilight with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns, copy and paste this into your profile, grab a bat, and let's find Robert Pattinson!
Your mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash, then it's gone.
Act your Age, not your shoe size.
Let your dreams run wild and let nothing hold you down, live life as if it were your last.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone!
Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend
Don't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the stars.
Don't follow me, I'm lost too
Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary
Docters say I have multiple personalitys. We disagree with that.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions
If you've joined the Dark Side because they have cookies, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're Defying Gravity and no one can bring you down, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you cried when L Lawliet died, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
Those who live by the sword… get shot by those who don’t.
I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
If you have ever tried to laugh evilly like Light Yagami, copy and paste this to your profile!
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here. The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, and when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism
20 Reasons why girls are the best
1. We got off the Titanic first
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. Taxis stop for us.
7. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
8. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
9. Free drinks, free dinners, free movies ... (you get the point).
10. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
12. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
13. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
14. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
15. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
16. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
17. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
18. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
19. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
20. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):
1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)
2. Meet the recruitment bunny!
3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!
4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!
5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!
6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!
7. Money, Money, Money: Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?
8. (Reason I joined) I'm just evil... It fits my personality!
Female come backs
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak, either behind my back, or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
But I am also the girl who knows and is proud of who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing things no one seems to have the time to do anymore, who loves and is obsessed with Soul Eater, Maximum Ride, the Hunger Games, who can express herself better without words than with words, and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and Paste this onto your account, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.
1) I need to tell you a secret! (Look at 5)
You say Pink
11 ways to annoy/scare your roomate:
0. Every time the phone rings, turn on the stereo at full volume and begin to violently slam-dance with your roommate. If he/she asks about it, say, "Oh, that darn hypnotist..."
1. Hang a picture of your roommate on the wall. Throw darts at it. Smile at your roommate often, saying things like, "How nice to see you again."
2. Get a can of beans. Label them, "Jumping beans." Eat them, and then jump around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, "Dancing beans." Eat them, and then dance around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, "Kill Your Roommate beans." Eat them, smiling at your roommate.
3. Every time your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, and then wake him/her up and say, "It's time to go to bed now."
4. Insist that your roommate recite the "Pledge Of Allegiance" with you every morning.
5. Recite "Dr. Seuss" books, all the time. Eventually, think up melodies for the words and sing them, loudly, directly to your roommate. If he/she tells you to stop, act offended and spend the day in bed.
6. Put up traffic signs around the room. If your roommate doesn't obey them, give him/her tickets. Confiscate something your roommate owns until he/she pays the tickets.
7. Walk, talk, and dress like a cowboy at all times. If your roommate inquires, tell him/her, "Don't worry little buckaroo. You'll be safe with me."
8. Complain that your elbows, knees, and other joints have been bothering you. Get a screwdriver, and pretend to "fix" them.
9. Paint abstract paintings, and title them things like, "Roommate Dying in a Car Crash," and "Roommate Getting Whacked in the Head with a Shovel." Comment often about how much you love the paintings.
10. Wear glasses, and complain that you can never see anything. Bump into walls and doors. Put your clothes on backwards. Say, "Who's that?" every time your roommate enters the room. When you're not wearing the glasses, act like you can see fine
where we are headed...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"?
Why there isn't mouse flavored cat food?
Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
Thanks to Maximum Ride...
I now think of Max and her flock whenever I see birds in the sky.
Max is a girl’s name.
Nudge, Fang, Gazzy, Angel and Iggy are all normal names.
I can trace anything back to Maximum Ride.
They found a way to make manga even more amazing.
Blind guys can make bombs.
Werewolves are now known as Erasers
To me, the word angel no longer means divine being from heaven; she is a little girl that can read minds.
I hate my library for not having the third manga.
I accidentally call ‘Toto’ Total every time I watch The Wizard of Oz.
I just have to say this, but Fang needs a hug…
So does Ari.
I will never look at a cage the same way again.
I copied and pasted this onto my profile.
24 Things I owe to my Mother
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
3. My mother taught me LOGIC.
4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
6. My mother taught IRONY.
7. My mother taught me about THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS.
8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
14. My mother taught me about ENVY.
15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
17. My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE.
18. My mother taught me about ESP.
19. My mother taught me HUMOR.
20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
21. My mother taught me GENETICS.
22. My mother taught me about MY ROOTS.
23. My mother taught me WISDOM.
24. My mother taught me JUSTICE.
Pay off your MasterCard with your Visa.
Pop some popcorn without putting on the lid.
When someone says, "Have a nice day," tell them you have other plans.
Send yourself a CandyGram.
Have a tea party with your pets.
Make a list of things to do that you have already done.
Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him to school as if nothing was wrong.
Write checks with Roman numerals.
Write "Out to lunch" on your forehead.
Leaf through a National Geographic and draw clothes on everybody.
Drive to the store in reverse.
Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
Read the dictionary backwards and look for hidden messages.
Bill your doctor for time spent in the waiting room.
Stare at people through the points of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
Make up a language and stop someone to ask for directions.
Write a short story using alphabet soup.
Talk to your fish.
Kill roaches with a monkey wrench while playing Wagnerian arias.
Start conversations with the words, "Did you ever wonder why..."
Burn all your waste paper while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.
Buy a complete set of Transformers. Play with them loudly. If people comment, tell them with a straight face, "There's more to them than meets the eye."
I'm that girl
The one that likes books more than boys.
The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy
The one who always wonders what she did wrong
The one who writes to escape
The one who just wants to help
The one that really wants to make a difference
The one that sticks to her values
The one that refuses to believe that this is it
The one that will do anything to make a better tomorrow
The one who won't give in
The one won't give up
-by linguisticsrock, Copy and Paste if you can relate to this.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run Fucker Run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! we messed up!"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!
S.C.H.O.O.L=Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Life
C.L.A.S.S=Come Late And Start Sleeping
F.I.N.A.L.S=Fuck I Never Actually Learned This Shit
37 Things to do in an Elevator
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
.Spread the Stupidity
Only in America ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America ...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America ... ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering
500 fun thing to do at wal-mart
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
A Nerd's List of Things to Do
1.) Write alien vs predator: The Musical.
2.) Develop the ability to talk to vegetables. (Brocotongue!)
3.) Learn how to "billow" like Severus Snape.
4.) Make action figure of yourself.
5.) Prove to the world that gay sparkly vampires are even more pathetic than they believe.
6.) Enrage obsessed fan girls.
7.) Scream out random endings when walking out of the movie theater. (I can't believe it! Optimus killed Sam and ran off with Megatron!)
8.) Teach fox's how to skydive.
9.) Create first ever pizza laser.
10.) Have own theme music.
11.) Find the penny at the bottom of the razor blade and salt-filled jar.
12.) Discover why Dora the Explorer's parents let her explore the world all by herself.
13.) Sing made-up lyrics to Christmas Carols. During the summer.
14.) Read Shakespeare. You know, like in Romeo and Juliet, where Juliet fights that lion, and Romeo destroys the giant space station, and they all go to Burger King...yeah, I don't really know my Shakespeare stuff that well.
15.) Also prove to the children how Santa sits on the throne of lies.
16.) If this isn't enough, scream "I GOT CAKE MIX!" all the time. (Nemesis.)
17.) Warn younger children that if they aren't good this Christmas, Santa's little Dementors will come and suck all of their happiness away. Run from livid parents.
18.) Use security cameras as mirrors to pick your nose.
19.) Run around with a Force FX lightsaber, claiming you are a Jedi that must slay the evils of the world. Then attack anyone wearing Hannah Montana apparel.
20.) Develop sense of irony.
21.) Don't die yet.
22.) Conquer the world with flying fox's.
23.) Teach fox's how to skydive, then start an airshow.
24.) Build a city...then destroy it with multicoulered dinosaurs!
25.) Copy and paste this onto your profile if you're an insane authoress/author, too!
6 reasons not to mess with children:
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Lord Death: "I'd really hate to say this to you, especially since you just woke up...but it's time for you to die again."
Soul Eater Evans: "You know what they say-- When in Rome, eat lots of pasta!"
Black*star: Oh Souuuuul!!!
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.
I didn’t fall. The floor just needed a hug.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first. And, whatever you hit, call it the target.
Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
If things get any worse, I’ll have to ask you to stop helping me.
The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.
When a subject becomes totally obsolete we make it a required course.
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