I don't use this site too much anymore, but I do still stop by. Not sure if or when I'll upload anything further, but feel free to send a message, and I'll probably see it sooner or later.

Obviously, I don't own the works that the stories I write on this site are based on, or intend to make money off of them, and my producing them is entirely out of my love for those original works as a fan. Fanfiction falls under nonprofit transformative/derivative work, a tradition as old as storytelling.

Status of my stories

It updates when it updates. I am a capricious master. I do what I want. Will I ever finish a story that isn't a one-shot or Break Through the Limit? Eh, who can say.

About Me

I was once given an award for best/worst martial arts moves. In an IT class.

QUOTES (more will be added periodically):

Forums:

"...I'm a buffoon." --LucifVegeta

"thanks, global warming or the Illuminati or whatever" --Captain Space

"Becoming the best breakdancing tuna fish known in the universe." --Ultimate Black Ace

"The Monty Python fish-slapping dance seemed relevant.

I never thought I'd be able to legitimately say that." --Captain Space

"Star Wars X Wizard of Oz my OTP" --Kaise

From family:

"You apply bombs far too liberally to every situation."

"I appear to be whipping a small child to death."

"He's French. He's an idiot."

"Gandalf, in the coffee-shops of Narnia?"

"I think we'd be better off with Batman and Hitler."

"Aww, I have to stop killing rabbits!"

"Bombs are not the solution to every problem, only most of them."

"Are you all right?"/"Yeah, I'm just a heroin addict."

"Please stop shooting me, it's very annoying."

"You and your arthritis are distracting me."

"No, no, but yes. No but yes, I mean, no as in no, but yes as in yes! No, no as in yes!"

"I don't need elevators! I have guns!"

"Monasteries can be built in different directions."/"Not my monasteries, sir!"

"No, [name] , that's not how you play with humans, that's weird!"

"...I did not eat that biscuit nearly as competently as I thought."

Me (helping sister with revision): "Question 2!" Sister: "NO!" Me: "YES!" Sister: "...okay."

"I love you."/"I WANT BURGERS!"

(angrily) "Spoons! Multiple spoons!"

"I want to learn how to use guns and knives. No reason. Just because."

"The pig represents the goat."/"How does a pig represent a goat?"/"Because we don't have a goat!"

"Your face is a random Christmas tree on the edge of a lake."

"The circle of life is not in front of Walmart."

"Hey, you don't speak for Dracula."

"This...is not the Game of Life. This is several tubs of playdough."/"It's a metaphor!"

"I'm a drunk goose who loves to party!"

High School (names have been removed to protect the innocent, and the guilty too because I'm just nice like that):

"I wouldn't be surprised if there were crisps in my shoes."

"It's...like a really naff council of evil!" (speaker was referring to me and my friends...)

"Owls hang upside-down, like bats. They're like elephants."

"Okay, I can understand the biting..."

"I am my own father."

"Yeeesss! Suffering!"

"Which is better than Welsh people, to be fair."

"It'd be a great way to kidnap kids."

"He's like a plastic elf."

"Oink oink, mother#*@!er."

"I'm in sausage roll troubles."

"See, I have a good segregation system going on."

"Nobody kills a giraffe, it's the king of the jungle."

"He's done so much heroin he's become imaginary."

"Why aren't your flamingoes?"

"French people are the worst."

"I forgot I had two hands."

"I feel like I'm a toddler having dinner."

"If there was a famine, I would live and you would die."

"Why would anyone want to be a biscuit?!"

"It does smell good. Sniff the book!"

"[name] looks like diced fish."

"You look like Jesus from here."

"I'd forgotten I was Chinese."

"Look, 'normal' is relative. Nobody's 'normal'." /"I'm normal!"/[uproarious laughter]

"I can't find it, I've stuck a periodic table over it."