Hey I'm Mel lol
I love reading fanfics
Harry Potter Oath
Whenever I see a lost stray,
Of course it’ll be Sirius who I’ll think of
And I’ll think of Remus Lupin,
Whenever the moon rises high
Whenever I witness a lightning storm,
It’s Harry’s presence that’ll linger
Yet if I watch the Wizard Of Oz,
Naturally it’s of Dumbledore where my thoughts will come hither
If I think of Snape, it’s with a heavy heart no doubt,
Since he’s the one who sacrificed most,
When it all comes about
Hermione and Ron are the one’s I’ll remember,
When two of my best friends walk by
Although, of course I’ll remember Minerva,
If I see a tawny owl fly past
I mention Voldemort here because if I don’t,
I’ll obviously be the one who loses the duel
Yes, I promise to remember Hogwarts and all who reside within,
For if not a Rememberall is what I’ll get, if it is Neville of which hears.
Here is a True and Touching Story: A girl and a guy were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle.
Girl: Slow down, i'm scared.
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No it's not, please, it's so scary>.
Guy: Then tell me that you love me.
Girl: I love you, slow down.
Guy: Now give me a big hug..
(She gave him a big hug)
Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself, It's really bothering me.
The next day in the newspaper:
A motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure.
Two people were in the crash, but only one survived.
The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that the breaks weren't working, but he didn't want the girl to know.
Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loves him one last time.
Then he had her put his helmet on so that she would live, even if it meant that he would die.
If you would do the same for the person you love, copy this in your profile...
My Mother Taught Me…
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
If Justin Beiber was about to jump off a cliff, 95% of girls would be crying their eyes out, 2% would be at the bottom of the cliff with snacks, lawn chairs and binoculars, and another 2% would be ready to push him off. Copy and paste this to your profile if you would be the 1% digging a hole at the bottom of the cliff so he'd fall longer.
The Stupidest Things On Products
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)
On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits." (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Wow. That's really helpful)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Aw, that's the whole purpose of buying the costume!)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals". (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions: "Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food!?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's just a suggestion).
On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (That's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos!: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (the shoplifter special?)
On a Korean knife: “Keep out of children.” (I should fucking hope so!)
Boeing 757: "Fragile. Do not drop."(That means you, Hulk! Put that fucking airplane down, you might drop it!)
Scoop-able cat litter: "Safe to use around pets." (Again, I should fucking hope so!)
Baby oil: "Keep out reach of children." (Good thing babies aren't children, isn't it!)
Hair coloring: "Do not use as an ice cream topping." (Yeah. My grandmother died because she thought my hair dye was ice-cream topping and put it in a sundae)
Komatsu Floodlight: "This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark." (OMG!! That's as amazing as a newsreader reading the news!)
Earplugs: "These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe." (Are you sure? Lets experiment.)
RCA television remote control:"Not dishwasher safe." (Did someone do this once...?)
Road sign: "Caution: water on road during rain." (No. Duh. Sherlock.)
Harry Potter taught me that something is worth dieing for.
Ron Weasley taught me that believing in yourself is 100x more powerful than luck.
Hermione Granger taught me that education is a girls best asset, even if it doesn't make you too many friends.
Severus Snape taught me to never, ever judge a person.
Rubeus Hagrid taught me that anything could be cute with the right perspective.
Ginny Weasley taught me that bold is beautiful.
Lily Potter taught me that there is nothing on earth more powerful than a mother's love.
Remus Lupin taught me that fear is the only thing I should be afraid of.
Dolorus Umbridge taught me that education in a political agenda is a terrible thing!!
Sirius Black taught me that the ones we love never truly leave us.
Albus Dumbledore taught me that not all good people are good.
Draco Malfoy taught me that bad people are not always bad.
Neville Longbottom taught me to stand up for what's right - even if your terrified.
Luna Lovegood taught me that weird is wonderful.
Dobby taught me that freedom is a gift. *cue a fangirl popping up and squealing, "Dobby is a free elf!"
Kreacher taught me that if you want to get to know a person, look at how they treat their inferiors.
Fred and George taught me that sometimes you just need a good laugh.
The Dursleys taught me that a world without imagination is a very dull place. *shivers*
Arthur Weasley taught me that a good sense of curiosity and a bit of obsession can be a good thing.
Molly Weasley taught me that a happy family is not measured in gold.
Nymphadora Tonks taught me to love myself no matter what I look like.
Peter Pettigrew taught me that rats don't make good friends.
Minerva Mcgonagall taught me that a good cause is worth the fight no matter what age.
Hedwig taught me that the love for our pets is very real.
Lord Voldemort taught me that life without love is barely living.
J.K. Rowling taught me that stories we love will stay with us-
Man This made me laugh so hard
Things to do in a shop when you are bored.
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"
Re post this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things ha-ha I'm going to!
Things To Ponder:
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to them?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavoured cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?
Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?