Author has written 20 stories for Degrassi, Vampire Diaries, Inception, Twilight, and Originals.
As of 2/23/14 - My main OTP's of the moment are Haylijah (The Originals) and Romery (Star-Crossed). I have a few Haylijah stories/oneshots in mind and will write them over time starting once I finish my current Haylijah fic Something's Gotta Give. I may start writing Romery sometime, too. But for now I will focus on my Haylijah fics/oneshots. Also, I'm not as into Jacob/Bella as I was before (I go in and out of shipping movie ships a lot of times) but I will do my best to finish as many of my JB stories as I can...it just may take me some time though so be patient, please! Thanks! :)
GUIDE TO ALL OF MY STORIES/ONE-SHOTS
WORK IN PROGRESS
Something's Gotta Give - When she needed him, he wasn't there. Why? She didn't know but she was determined to find out...and she would stop for nothing to make things right once she did know.
TWILIGHT; (twilight fics posted on trickyraven(.)ning(.)com as well as here)
All Is Fair In Love and War - Bella returns to everything she left five years ago. But, she's not the same person she used to be. And, she's not alone. Who's Libby? And, why is Bella suddenly back in Forks after all these years? Well, as it turns out supernatural beings aren't the only threats Bella has to deal with.
FUTURE UPCOMING STORIES
TWILIGHT; (I hate to do it but SIO's publishing will postponed for a little longer while I try to finish some of my other Jacob/Bella fics)
Set It Off - Post-results, Jacob and Bella agree to cool it for a while. What they didn't know? It'll be easier said than done. As if going through withdrawals of each other isn't enough they also have to worry about some people who don't want them together. How will they manage keeping their hands to themselves and making sure they stay together no matter what? *Sequel to Hot Mess!*
Giving In - Haylijah one-shot
Hales - Haylijah one-shot
Honesty Sure Has Its Perks - Haylijah one-shot
Sleeping Habits - Haylijah multi-chapter fanfic
Undercover - Haylijah multi-chapter fanfic
Untitled - Haylijah three parter
Untitled - Haylijah multi-fic
Untilted - Haylijah one-shot
THE VAMPIRE DIARIES;
The Birthday That Was Sure To Change Everything - Damon wasn't the birthday celebrating type, but Elena was intent on making him love his birthday's every year to come from this birthday on. And, she'd stop at nothing to make sure she got her way. Even, if that meant that she had to play dirty!
The Truth Will Set You Free, But It's Not Always Kind About It - Elena had never thought that her humanity would have been turned back on so easily. But, now it was apparent that it was. She wished nothing more than to have it turned off again. But, she knew that she was stuck with it now. And, it hurt like hell.
Plan B: Mistletoe - With help from the truth and a mistletoe Bella is going to make this Christmas one that neither she nor Jacob will ever forget.
Not Even Snow Can Keep Us Apart - A snowstorm leaves Bella with no way to get home for her and Jacob's first Christmas together as a couple. Lucky for them both, Jacob isn't going to let the snow keep them apart.
Walk Alone Tonight - Bella made her choice, but has been questioning it. Upon learning that Jacob is gone, Bella's world comes crashing down as she makes a shocking discovery that she can't do anything about. Even worse, the reason why Jacob left. When Bella finds out she's livid and her actions afterwards leave everyone shocked. After all, no one really knows what they've got until it's gone, right?
The Middle - Months after Inception, Ariadne's cousin shows up on her doorstep with a black eye, confused and in need of many answers. Since there is nothing Ariadne wouldn't do for family, she automatically wants to do whatever she can to help. Even if that means turning her cousin into the team's newest client and unknowingly pulling the team into a very complicated job. Arthur/OC.
Unbroken - Sequel to The Middle. The last thing Sadie wanted was to ever see them again. But, when she gets a visit from Eames everything changes. She's forced to confront the feelings she's been trying so hard to forget. Also, she suddenly finds herself helping find a missing Arthur. And, the person who knows something about where he is, is the last person Sadie would've expected. Eames/OC, Arthur/OC
Can't Stay Away - Instead of being completely oblivious, Bella realizes she's using Jacob for all the wrong reasons. When she pulls away from him because of her revelation, she quickly finds that she can't stay away. For so long she was so sure that his feelings for her were one sided and that she'd never return his feelings. But, if that were really true then why is she feeling the way she is now?
Crushcrushcrush - The meeting with the Volturi took a different turn causing Bella to not return for a year. When she can finally go back to Forks she finds that not everything is how they were when she left. Can she patch things back up with the ones she left behind, with one in particular? Or will she lose all the reasons she truly has to live and lose all that's left of herself in the process?
Erase and Rewind - Bella always thought she'd be happy after marrying Edward. But, she's quickly proven wrong. After Jacob is dragged away from the reception, Bella is thrown for a loop. The reality of what will now be finally dawns on her. Not only that, feelings that she had tried so hard to push aside for so long force their way to the surface. But, it's too late to do anything about it, right?
Hot Mess - One argument changed Bella and Jacob's lives entirely. Now the only thing they can think about is each other. Even worse, they can't stay away. It seems they're caught up in the kiss of best friends with benefits. And, all the while they're trying to hide what's going on from a pack of wolves and a coven of vampires...all of whom would NOT be okay with what's going on between them.
Missing Pieces - Two years after leaving Forks, Bella returns, still human. But, things aren't like they used to be. Everyone, including Bella, is in for a big shock when the truth comes out. She's not sure why she's there. But, with the help of her best friend...her sun and some unwanted nightmares she's determined to put all of the missing pieces back together again.
There's Nothing Better Than Revenge - With the wedding coming up, Bella couldn't be more content with her decision. However, after overhearing the Cullen's talking, Bella learns that everything has been a lie. Overcome with anger and pain, Bella makes it her obligation to get revenge on them. And, she enlists the help of her best friend, aka her true choice, to do just that.
ON HIATUS (But not forgotten)
DEGRASSI; (on an indefinite hiatus - i've lost my muse for the story but maybe she'll come back one day)
Gotta Believe In Something - The Westen Triplets always prided themselves in always sticking together ever since they were born. But, after a fateful event their strong bond was blown to pieces. Now they've moved to Degrassi for a new start. Will Degrassi be a place where the triplets can put their bond back together? Or in the end will it be the place that drives a rift between them forever?
TWILIGHT; (on hiatus for now - I will slowly do my best to finish these one by one after I finish AIFILAW)
Breaking Bella - Bella finally gave Jacob a chance. But, then he imprinted on someone that wasn't her. Instead of going into a zombie state like she did when Edward left, Bella resorts to more extreme measures to try and get over Jacob. What happens now when the one who put her together when she was torn apart the first time is the one who tore her apart the second time?
Going Under - Edward doesn't want Bella to go see Jacob. But, Bella does. Something happens when she tries to go and Bella finally has a wake up call and realizes just how controlling Edward really is. But, is it too late? Because Edward doesn't seem to have any intentions of letting her go so easily. What is Bella to do now? More importantly what will Jacob do when he finds out what's going on?
Hothouse - Isabella "Bella" McCarty never expected that she'd ever cross paths with her brother's biggest rival, Jacob Black. But, after a wrong turn one night that's exactly what happens. As if that's not bad enough, she quickly finds herself as the object of his affection. She's set on ignoring his advances. But, she soon finds that saying no to him is neither a smart nor safe option.
You Get Me Through - It's Bella and Edward's wedding day. Everything is going according to plan...until she sees him. Things change, Bella breaks, and revelations soon follow. She then does the only thing she can think of. She runs. And, she's not alone.
Revenge Is Sevenfold (due to FF's rules this one is not posted here, but it is posted on trickyraven, so if you wanna read it, then go on over there)
- Bella wants revenge on Edward for cheating on her. What better way to get said revenge than to sleep with not one, not two, not three, or four, or five, or even six...but seven of his biggest enemies? Oh, and don't forget shoving it in his face, too.
Here's a really neat thing I found on someone's profile.
This is a true story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.- I believe in God!!
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.
The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."
Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it.
10 Commandments of a Teenager
1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think Writer's Block is evil, put this in your profile.
5.5 million people are on the internet right now. Copy this onto your profile if you are one of them.
If you have ever pasted anything on your profile, paste this on your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile.
If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile
if someone gave you money for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever read/started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile
If you are good at annoying people (especially on long car journeys) copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever get a random urge to start screaming copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever turned around and questioned how you got on those subjects after an entire conversation, copy and paste this in to your profile.
If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough)...coppy and paste this to your profile
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your asses off.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile.
If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.
If you are so obsessed with something that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.
If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile!
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOOSE when it's weird. If you agree, but have done it, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.
I want child abuse to stop, and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.
If you don't have a boyfriend and are proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.
If there are characters on a certain show that you hate BEYOND ALL REASON... copy and paste this into your profile.
If you dislike those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this to your profile.
If you don't have a myspace and you don't want a myspace , copy this into your profile.
If you hate flamers that point out every single little detail that is wrong in their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.
If you've ever felt like something was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile.
I hate pop-ups. If you hate all the ads popping up while you're trying to read some story, copy this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you want wings and powers (I hope you do) copy and paste this to your profile.
99.5 percent of teenagers and kids have a myspace and are literally addicted. If you are a member of the 0.5 percent that think you're above such double-crossing fads, paste this in your profile and continue making your friends the good ol' fashioned way.
If you read books that no one has ever heard of, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a friend that is a guy, copy and past this into your profile.
If you think rock, paper, scissors solves everything then put this in your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the frick'n trix, copy and paste this into your profile
47 percent of statistics are made up on the spot. If you get this then copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do so at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.
If you have an iPod and love rocking out to it, post this in your profile.
If you would throw a tantrum if you lost your IPod then copy and paste this to your profile.
Who ever said nothing is impossible hasn't tried to slam a revolving door. If upon hearing this you'll try and slam a revolving door copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever done something embarrassing in front of your crush, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever given off the illusion of being drunk when you weren't, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself . So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
If you noticed that the Kim Possible movie, So the Drama, has the initials, STD, which also stands for Sexually Transmitted Disease, and find that very creepy, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever wondered if you were adopted because of your sibling, copy this into your profile.
Can you raed tihs? Olny srmat poelpe can. I cdnuol't blveiee taht I cluod aulactly uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rsceearch at Cmabridge Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. If you can raed tihs, cpoy and ptsae tihs itno yuor pofirle!
Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you've ever yelled at an inanimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hear the voices of characters in your head, put this onto your profile.
If you get way to excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile
If that inanimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile.
Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3.
If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If people think you are mentally insane copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.
If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think having two "Shift" keys on a keyboard is utterly stupid and pointless, copy this onto your profile
If, thanks to fanfiction, you can no longer see lemons wityhout laughing your arse off, copy and paste this into your profile.
I feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us. If you believe in God and Jesus Christ is his Son. Then copy and paste this in your profile. If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says "If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."
If your a choc aholic, talk aholic or a shop aholic, then copy and post this into your profile!
Getting an abortion is killing someone who never got to live. Don't kill a life, save one. If you don't believe in abortions, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you want to be famous ,copy and paste this onto your profile.
"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."
"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."
"People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door."
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
Tell the truth and run.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...
Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?
"When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade"
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
"Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."
"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else"
"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."
"I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not."
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.
If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.
My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.
When life gives you lemons:
When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? Who likes lemons?
When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, sit back and watch the world wonder how.
When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
When Life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the heck you did.
When life gives you lemons, chunk them at the people you hate.
When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!
When life gives you lemons squirt them in life's eyes, then run far, far away.
HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG
I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
Copy Paste If you Dare
I'm the girl who isn't dancing, just jumping up and down screaming the lyrics.
I'm the girl that if you call my friend a brat I WILL say something.
I'm the girl that will slap you if you push me.
I'm the girl that speaks my mind, whether you like it or not.
I'm the girl that walks like I am proud even if I have toilet paper stuck on my shoes.
I'm the girl that you don't wanna be on her bad side.
I'm the girl that doesn't take crap from anyone.
BUT I'm also the girl that carries a book in her purse.
I'm the girl that wears sweat pants to the dance.
I'm the girl that no one knows her name, for good or bad and I like it that way.
I'm the girl who acts shy one second and the next I will be laughing like an idot.
I'm the girl that people call "Bitch" and "Freak" "Mean" and "Weird" but I take that as a compliment. (That is totally me)
I'm the girl that doesn't have normal hobbies. I read and I write.
I'm the girl that hasn't been asked out at all.
I'm the girl who isn't a people person but I am when it comes to friends.
I'm also the girl they call "best friend."
25 Reasons to Thank my Mother:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (these are only the ones that apply to me)
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I'm a YOUNG WRITER so I MUST be emo.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived.
The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would survive.
ONE DAY A DAD COMES HOME DRUNK AND MAD. HE PULLS OUT A GUN AND SHOOTS HIS WIFE AND THEN TURNS
THE LITTLE GIRL ASKS THE TEACHER: How did that man get off the cross?
THE TEACHER REPLIED: He never did.
THE LITTLE GIRL ARGUED: Yes he did when mommy and daddy fought he sat next to me behind the couch telling me everything was gonna be alright...
66 of u won't repost this. BUT REMEMBER THE BIBLE SAID, ''DENY JESUS IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS
I posted this because I believe in Jesus
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today
If you love God with your whole heart and are 100 percent proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
Guy: Where have you been all my life?
Girl: Hiding from you.
Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Girl: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Guy: Is this seat empty?
Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Guy: Your place or mine?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Guy: So, what do you do for a living?
Girl: I'm a female impersonator.
Guy: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Girl: Do not enter.
Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Girl: But would you stay there?
Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Girl: Really? 'Cause I'd put f and u together.
Guy: Your eyes they're amazing.
Girl: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.
Guy: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Girl: It's in the phone book
Guy: But I don't know your name
Girl: That's in the phone book too
Guy: I know how to please a woman
Girl: Then please leave me alone
Guy: I can tell you want me
Girl: Ohhhh, your so right, I want you to leave
Guy: If you were a hamburger at McDonalds you would be McGorgeous
Girl: Would that be under your McLame Burger
Guy: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven
Girl: Not nearly as bad as when you fell on planet rejection
Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again
Girl: No, but sure...next time just be sure to keep walking
Guy: I want to give myself to you
Girl: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts
Guy: It's a good thing I have a library card because I'm checking you out
Girl: Sorry, I'm on reserve for someone else
Guy: Your body is like a temple.
Girl: Sorry, there are no services today.
Guy: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Girl: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
(if you're a girl that would say stuff like that, then post this on your profile)
16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART! (I would love to do)
Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
"STUPID= Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand"
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways.
Adults are just kids with money
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them more
I'm mature and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah nah!
If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the hell are you scared?!
In a world of cheerios, be a fruitloop!
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!
Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking.
I have not lost my mind; its backed up on a disk somewhere
You always get whats coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.
There are two things that are infinite. The universe and human stupidity. And I'm not so sure about the universe.
Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.
Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.
Be yourself. That's crazy enough.
I see no good reason to act my age.
Don't follow my footsteps, I run into walls.
At this moment, you're the oldest you've ever been. Pretty deep huh?
Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Dang, that was fun!"
Anyone else having trouble getting to Narnia?
I've used up all of my sick days so I'm calling in dead.
Stereotyping? How do you type with a stereo?
I didn't slap you, I high-fived your face.
You're a great friend, but if the zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh,he just took a wrong turn,got lost,and is to stubborn to ask directions.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history
People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled Bang, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.
Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.
1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.
If you are what you eat, then cannibals are the only humans.
Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.
FRIENDS AND A BEST FRIENDS
Friends: Lend you an umbrella.
Best Friends: Takes yours and runs away screaming, "EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!!!!"
Friends: Never ask for anything to eat or drink
Best Friends: Are the reason your fridge is empty.
Friends: Would bail you out of jail.
Best Friends: Would be sitting there next to you saying, "THAT WAS SO FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!!"
Friends: Would help you up after you tripped.
Best Friends: Would help you up after you tripped, but only after their done laughing... yeah... don't count on getting helped up...
Friends: Borrows your stuff for a few days, then returns it.
Best Friends: Borrows you stuff, loses it, and tells you, "my bad... here's a tissue."
Friends: Know only your favorite things.
Best Friends: Could write an embarassing autobiography on your life story.
Friends: Will comfort you when your crush rejects you.
Best Friends: Will walk right up to your crush and say, "it's because you're gay, isn't it?"
Friends: Tells you you deserve better when he dumps you
Best friends: Prank call him and whisper, "You will die in 7 days."
Friends: Will help you move.
Best friends: Will help you move the bodies.
Friends Help you up when you fall.
Best Friends: Keep on walking asking, "Walk much?"
Friends: Ask you to write down your number.
Best Friends: Ask you for their number (cuz they can't remember it -)
Friends: would ignore this
Best Friends: Will repost this on their profile.
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