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Joined 07-15-03, id: 419834, Profile Updated: 06-03-12
Author has written 63 stories for Matrix, Doctor Who, Batman Begins/Dark Knight, Batman, Batman: Arkham Asylum, and Sherlock.

Please ignore my earlier delusional rantings. And probably any more recent ones as well.

I'm 27 and from the UK, currently living in Bristol. If I were on a game show I'd describe myself as "civil servant", which is frankly still hilarious to me. I never quite got around to being a lawyer, which was the original plan after doing all the damn expensive lawyer studying... I have three gerbils, two hamsters, one taxidermy squirrel, far too many books and several on-going crochet projects. I dip in and out of fandom obsessions, sleep too much when I can and cycle to work come rain or shine but am not the best at fixing punctures.

I don't pretend to be a great author but I like to dabble. Prior dabblings have revolved around BBC Sherlock (where my brain currently lives); Mycroft is my main obsession but I love all the characters. I also spent quite a while in the Bat-fandom and wrote some JokerxHarley type things in the Batman DCAU; I'd describe myself as on haitus from that fandom right now but we'll see.

Historical note: Goodness me, I once wrote rubbishy script-style "parodies" and message-board based self-inserts. I refer to the 2003-era below. I was young and reckless - sorry. I don't believe in destroying evidence, even of such horrific crimes, but I can only ask you to discretely avert your gaze. Like when driving past a really bad car crash. Keep movin' folks - nothing to see here.

Arkham Interlude by Fearful Little Thing reviews
Harley Quinn spends a little time thinking about home... and a little time thinking about the injustices of large, white shirts.
Batman the Animated Series - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 550 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 11/6/2008 - Complete
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Mausoleum reviews
Some time after the events of The Fall, Mycroft has been run-ragged with Diamond Jubilee security nightmares and finally takes a break to address some ongoing issues in his childhood home.
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,429 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Published: 6/5/2012 - Mycroft H., Sherlock H. - Complete
Surrogates reviews
This looks at the backstory to a pet theory of mine about Mycroft's freezer full of Sherlock-cicles, running up to the Fall.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,652 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/28/2012 - Anthea, Mycroft H. - Complete
Four paths to the afterlife and one dead end reviews
Five imaginings of where Sherlock went after the Fall; ensemble cast, contains spoilers for The Reichenbach Fall.
Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,033 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/22/2012 - Sherlock H., Molly Hooper - Complete
Tea and Biscuits reviews
Post-Fall, Mycroft calls at 221B and accidentally ends up having tea with Mrs Hudson.
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,894 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/21/2012 - Mycroft H., Mrs. Hudson - Complete
To Play The Fool reviews
We know what he's up to - or so they think. A Holmesian plot leading to Reichenbach. Contains spoilers for the aforementioned Reichenbach Fall.
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,166 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 18 - Published: 1/16/2012 - Mycroft H., Sherlock H.
A Family Tradition reviews
The trolling of Mycroft Holmes.
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,527 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/13/2012 - Mycroft H., Sherlock H. - Complete
Childishly Simple reviews
Sherlock commandeers a bicycle in the name of justice.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,160 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 21 - Published: 1/10/2012 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Brotherly Bargains reviews
Set during "The Hounds of Baskerville" - just how did Sherlock negotiate that little arrangement with Mycroft?
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,759 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/9/2012 - Sherlock H., Mycroft H. - Complete
Silent Comedy reviews
Harley has run away from her old life to join the circus that is living with the Joker. It's a pretty steep learning curve. JxHQ.
Batman - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,282 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/12/2011 - The Joker, Harley Quinn - Complete
An Archive of Nonsense reviews
A compilation of fics and drabbles from the livejournal batfic contest community, with various characters and genres.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 22,628 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/14/2011 - The Joker, Harley Quinn
Pie In The Sky reviews
A Harley-centric tale of thrills, spills and daring-do! Plus sappiness and strait jackets. A work in progress.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,201 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/23/2010 - Published: 7/13/2010 - Harley Quinn, The Joker
Pretty In Pink reviews
The flashiest wedding of the year deserves a fittingly flashy gatecrashing. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 629 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 6 - Published: 7/18/2010 - The Joker, Harley Quinn - Complete
Stubborn Survivor reviews
Sometimes pawns can be reluctant to sacrifice themselves; Joker has personnel issues. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 565 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/18/2010 - The Joker - Complete
Sweet Inspiration reviews
A culinary experiment leads to an interesting scheme. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,409 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 6 - Published: 7/18/2010 - Harley Quinn, The Joker - Complete
Shot to the Heart reviews
It's laundry day and those props won't wash themselves you know. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 604 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/18/2010 - Harley Quinn, The Joker - Complete
Waifs and Strays reviews
The bits and bobs that never amounted to much on their own, rescued from the depths of my hard drive. All Joker, Harley and mostly JxHQ.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 22,408 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/13/2010 - Published: 7/12/2010 - The Joker, Harley Quinn
Swanning Around reviews
How to catch a swan: first take your stale hot dog rolls and plastic butterfly net... Joker and Harley go birdwatching. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,290 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Published: 5/31/2010 - The Joker, Harley Quinn - Complete
Black Ink reviews
What can you tell from a few harmless inkblots? First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 633 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Published: 5/31/2010 - Harley Quinn - Complete
May I Take Your Order reviews
The nightshift adventures of a lonely Gotham fast-food restaurant worker. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,483 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/31/2010 - The Joker, Harley Quinn - Complete
Get Up And Go reviews
The long-suffering Dr Leland experiences a case of vandalism in Arkham's parking lot. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,629 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/31/2010 - Harley Quinn - Complete
The Night Before reviews
Joker says: don't mix drink and pharmaceuticals, kids. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 565 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Published: 5/31/2010 - The Joker, Harley Quinn - Complete
Shocked and Stunned reviews
When you're laying low in an abandoned amusement arcade, how better to pass the time than by playing a little game with a new friend and some electrical equipment? First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,982 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 5/31/2010 - The Joker, Harley Quinn - Complete
Louder Than Words reviews
Dontcha just love those pleasant interrogation room chats? First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 675 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 6 - Published: 3/22/2010 - Harley Quinn - Complete
Tears of a Clown reviews
Some unfortunate high-school students learn why it's not a good idea to use the Joker for theatrical inspiration. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 652 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 8 - Published: 3/22/2010 - The Joker, Harley Quinn
The Roar of the Greasepaint reviews
It must be hot under all that paint; a look at one small sacrifice amongst many. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 565 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 10 - Published: 3/22/2010 - Harley Quinn, The Joker - Complete
Split Down The Middle reviews
Dividing up the loot after a criminal team-up can be a tricky business, particularly when one party has very exacting standards. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,072 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/22/2010 - Two-Face, The Joker - Complete
Heads You Win reviews
The Commissioner is being honoured for his many years of service to Gotham city, but not everyone is pleased with the result. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,305 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/22/2010 - James G., The Joker - Complete
Running Repairs reviews
Joker decides to take drastic measures in order to prevent Harley from ruining the perfectly good sheets of a ratty, fleapit motel bed thanks to a gaping head wound. Warning: twisted fluff ahead!
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 592 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/25/2010 - Harley Quinn, The Joker - Complete
Cost Benefit Analysis reviews
or alternatively "Who Needs Primitive Biological Urges Anyway?". First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 580 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/25/2010 - Harley Quinn, The Joker - Complete
Brand New Day, Same Old Oatmeal reviews
In Arkham, many of the most fruitful discussions take place over breakfast. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,049 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/25/2010 - Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn - Complete
Gotham Greetings reviews
A pleasant exchange of greetings cards - it's a Gotham rogues holiday tradition. First published at the LJ batfic contest community, belatedly archived just in time for New Years!
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 568 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/30/2009 - The Joker, Harley Quinn - Complete
First Time Out reviews
What's the worst thing that could happen to a brand new security guard at a Gotham bank? How about discovering that the bank robbers you're trying to apprehend are the Joker and Harley Quinn. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,044 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/15/2009 - The Joker, Harley Quinn - Complete
Sugar Rush reviews
To be fair to Harley, the last place you'd expect to find notorious criminals having a top secret, incognito girly get-together would be a mall ice cream sundae bar... First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 919 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Published: 12/15/2009 - Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn - Complete
Behind The Coat
A white coat: symbol of professionalism, suit of armour, useful disguise? First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 602 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/15/2009 - Harley Quinn - Complete
Weightless
A bit of pondering about the phenomenon of weightlessness with Dr Harleen Quinzel. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,409 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/15/2009 - Harley Quinn - Complete
You Don't Have To Be Crazy To Work Here reviews
Second person perspective; just what would drive you to take on the Halloween night shift as an orderly at Arkham Asylum? First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 575 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/2/2009
Bat TV reviews
Thanks to Arkham’s security cameras, Harley gets a front-row seat for the new Bat TV show! First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman: Arkham Asylum - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 640 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 10 - Published: 11/2/2009 - Harley Q., Batman/B. Wayne - Complete
It’s a Stitch Up reviews
It was just a nice, quiet evening in a certain clownish hideout... First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 608 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/2/2009 - Harley Quinn - Complete
Day Trips With A Dimension Jumping Thingymajig
In one sentence, I'd say "Joker and Harley go wild in an alternate universe". First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,775 - Favs: 6 - Published: 11/2/2009 - The Joker, Harley Quinn - Complete
Puppet On A String reviews
It's suspiciously quiet, and Harley is nowhere to be found. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 581 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 11 - Published: 8/11/2009 - Harley Quinn, The Joker - Complete
Living In The Limelight reviews
When you’re standing in the limelight, it can be so dazzling you can’t even see the audience you’re playing to. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 598 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/11/2009 - Harley Quinn - Complete
Sock It To Em reviews
The Joker is stumped by an everyday problem of a sartorial nature. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,600 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 18 - Published: 8/11/2009 - Harley Quinn, The Joker - Complete
Boomerang reviews
Harley “misplaces” a hostage and Joker is not best pleased. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,509 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 14 - Published: 8/11/2009 - Harley Quinn, The Joker - Complete
Fish Are No Laughing Matter reviews
Harley thinks all her Christmases have come at once, but there's one teeny little problem... First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 624 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 11 - Published: 8/11/2009 - Harley Quinn, The Joker - Complete
Silent Treatment reviews
Some things like crushing chest pain and bubbly, chatty blonde assistants just don't seem to respond to focused ignoring... First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,070 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 10 - Published: 5/26/2009 - The Joker, Harley Quinn - Complete
Happy Columbus Day reviews
The Joker wants his own Joker Appreciation Day. Harley is agrieved about the limitations of Administrative Professionals Day. I would say hilarity ensues, but it doesn’t really... First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,038 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Published: 5/26/2009 - The Joker, Harley Quinn - Complete
Left Behind reviews
Denial is not just a river in Egypt, but it can’t protect you from the truth forever. An AU ending to ROTJ for Harley. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 558 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/26/2009 - Harley Quinn, Bruce W./Batman - Complete
Ill Advised Interruption reviews
A quiet night in, an old film, and just one too many ill-advised interruptions for the Joker's liking. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,457 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 11 - Published: 3/29/2009 - The Joker, Harley Quinn - Complete
Dry Clean Only reviews
Alfred has some errands to run, and you never know who you'll bump into at the dry cleaners... A drabble first published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 577 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Published: 3/29/2009 - Alfred P., Harley Quinn - Complete
Bathtime or The Revenge of the Rubber Duck reviews
Some people have their best ideas in the bath. Others... don’t. Harley-centric drabble first published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 585 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 17 - Published: 2/2/2009 - Harley Quinn, The Joker - Complete
Domestic Goddess reviews
Harley's only just traded in her psychiatry textbooks for rubber chickens and taken up her role as henchwench, but she's already making her presence known. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,328 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 27 - Published: 2/2/2009 - The Joker, Harley Quinn - Complete
A Reluctant Resolution reviews
At Arkham it’s time to set a positive, achievable goal for the New Year... a month late. Harley-centric drabble first published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 626 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/2/2009 - Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy - Complete
A Merry Christmas Puddin' reviews
Belated Christmas fic, sorry for the awful pun . Harley just wants one Christmas with her Puddin! First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,106 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Harley Quinn, The Joker - Complete
Orange Juice reviews
You can't make OJ without crushing a few oranges, as the Joker knows only too well. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 541 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Harley Quinn, The Joker - Complete
Five Across – Puzzling Twelve Letters reviews
Who is an enigma? Why are Harley and the Riddler stuck working together? And is it possible to write Eddie without mentioning crossword puzzles? First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,197 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Harley Quinn, Edward N./The Riddler - Complete
Mini Break reviews
The Joker and Harley discuss holiday plans. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 513 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 12 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Harley Quinn, The Joker - Complete
Take The Bad With The Good reviews
Harley has a little chat with Dr Leland showing their different perspectives on having a bad day. First published at the LJ batfic contest community.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,608 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Harley Quinn - Complete
Collateral Damage reviews
The best laid plans can still cause collateral damage. Without them it's pretty much guaranteed. One-shot mostly from pov of your average nameless victim.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,497 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/9/2008 - Complete
Joker Missing Scenes reviews
The Dark Knight. Two and a half hours long but not nearly enough of the Joker; just some thoughts about what might have been happening when the scene was elsewhere.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,674 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/28/2008 - Published: 7/27/2008
Job Interview reviews
Becoming the new Doctor has got to be harder than just filling in an application form...
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,728 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/16/2006
Freeway Frolics Expanded! reviews
Once upon a time there was a parody of a mere fifteen minutes of Reloaded, then it started to grow...
Matrix - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,140 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 6 - Updated: 3/8/2004 - Published: 11/3/2003
Project Koala reviews
The Agents have a new and terrible weapon to use against the rebels. Can you guess what it is yet? Attempted humour, general insanity. Yup I actually wrote some more! It's a miracle...
Matrix - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,858 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 5 - Updated: 2/8/2004 - Published: 9/9/2003
Cats reviews
An encounter between an agent and a cat. My very first fanfic so I'll just apologise now in advance!
Matrix - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,523 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 7 - Published: 7/15/2003 - Smith, A.