hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 08-17-12, id: 4205150, Profile Updated: 03-07-14
Author has written 1 story for Legend of Zelda.

Things You Should Probably Know About Me

-I am deceased as of January 16th. I have come back from the grave to tell you all this. Or my sister finally got ahold of my account. Whichever one you like better.

-I hate repetition unless it is used correctly, and it almost never is.

-If your story involves your OC(s) being sucked into the game from the real world, I'll probably scold you for it.

-If your story involves OC/canon character romance that isn't subtle or well characterized, I'll probably scold you for it.

-I'm a pompous asshole when it comes to grammar, and I WILL rage at you for your lesser knowledge.

-Dragons are my favorite mythological creature. I wish I was a dragon.

-My rage meter depends on how much sleep I've had, how bad your grammar is, how annoying your chapter structure is, and how lacking you are in common sense.

-The fact that I've raged at you doesn't mean I hated the story. It just means I hated its execution.

Thank you for reading this short list; have a wonderful life.

100 Questions

A surprising many numbers were missing from the lineup, but I believe there are, in fact, one hundred questions now.


2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? White paint. Otherwise, nothing. I like it that way. My roommate has some neat drawings up on her side though.

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP? I've both snored and talked in the past.

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? The music that I like. It doesn't matter what genre it is.


6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? Eternal slumber. Or eternal hugs, however that would work.

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS? My respect for humankind

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)? My graphics tablet and pen and computer.

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU? Not tall enough.



12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY? Probably myself. It's my head after all.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PERFUME FOR A GIRL? They all smell like plastic anyway.



16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK? Energy drink all the way. Except Rockstar and RedBull. Those are nasty.

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING? Cheese and pepperoni.

18. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I likes me some chicken lo mein...

19. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE WISH GRANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Let me know every word in the English language--or any language--and its proper use in every context.

20. WHAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE? I think joining this site is what killed my already dwindling desire to read anything at all.

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED? I don't know. People started getting me art stuff a couple years ago. Does that count?

22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY? You ask that like I would tell you if I did.


24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND? Ya know. That brand that makes clothes.

25. YAHOO OR GOOGLE? I feel like that's not even a question.


27. WHAT KIND IS IT? Norwegian Ridgeback dragon.

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? It's called a long distance relationship and people have them all the time.

29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? You mean according to me? You don't. As an introverted dunce, I don't favor outright admitting to anything at all, much less the confession of affections. If you're me, you bake them things and subtly base stories around their actions and draw them in cute chibi forms until they catch your drift and say either yea of nea. And sometimes you buy things for them compulsively regardless of their ability or desire to reciprocate the action just because you want to see them smile when they see what you have for them. And you exploit them for hugs. You don't tell them; you show them.

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED: 4 8 15 16 23 42

31. BLONDS OR BRUNETTES? Does it matter?


33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? Lack of common sense and complete ignorance, especially when I found I've displayed such atrocities myself.


35. YOUR WEAKNESSES? Why would I tell you that? So you can defeat me? I'm not a video game boss! But it I was, I would take bribes.

36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS? I've spoken to a popular artist. Once.

37. FIRST JOB? Hasn't happened yet.

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? Once. Never again.

39. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SOULMATES? It's a pretty concept made to keep the forever-aloners happy thinking they actually have a chance.



42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? My drawings and my rages.


44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? Who knows? I certainly don't until two weeks after the fact.

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? I'm sure I could put up with one.


47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? No. I'm not five.

48. WOULD YOU DYE YOUR HAIR? IF SO, WHAT COLOR? Blue or red or a dark brown. Something that isn't blond.

49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE? Ya know. That shampoo that cleans my hair.


51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? ...are you planning to make me a sandwich?

52. ANY BAD HABITS? All of them.

53 WHAT CD ARE YOU MOST EMBARRASSED TO HAVE ON YOUR SHELF? I only own one CD, that being a Piano Guys CD, and I am in no way embarrassed to admit to owning it.

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Fuck no. Either we would never get up the courage to talk to one another or we'd hate each other unconditionally.

55. CHRISTMAS OR HALLOWEEN? Considering I haven't done anything for Halloween in years, I'll stick with Christmas.

56. DO LOOKS MATTER? Depends who you are.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? Raging and OC bashing. It's fun. And sometimes I bake cookies.

58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME? My one friend's house. I showed up unannounced once and was allowed to wait for her to come home from her job at the time even though for most of the wait I was alone in the house. Her dad even offered to take me to dinner with him so I wouldn't be alone. This is what happens when you wander the town with a bag of cookies.

59. DESCRIBE YOURSELF IN TEN WORDS OR LESS. Extremely rude and soul-crushingly and sometimes unfairly cruel dickhead.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? I don't remember that far back in my life.

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE? A number x between y and z.


63. DO YOU USE SARCASM? What do you think?

64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE? Mashed potatoes. That latter makes me sick regardless of how delicious it is.

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL? I don't. I'd rather just let it happen. Though in recent contemplations I determined that as a personal preference, I'd rather they be tall and good for hugs.

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? You can call me whatever you want, insults included. I honestly don't care.


68. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? Don't have one.

69. WHAT WAS YOUR ACT/SAT SCORE? A number x raised to the yth power between the zth and tth percentile. I was an awesome test taker.


71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES? Last time I checked, though admittedly it's been a while.



74. WHATS THE FASTEST YOU HAVE GONE IN A CAR? Someone else was driving; I wasn't paying attention.


76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? A Monstercat mix tape.

77. LAST THING YOU DRANK? Sierra Mist. The drink machine was out of both water AND mountain dew.

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? I don't call people.

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE/SAME SEX? Their hair as it can be observed from a distance without the requirement of interaction with the person beneath it.

80. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG? All songs are though-provoking.



83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN? I don't know enough about them to have one, though I know I'm a Libra.


85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? Blond (I know. Shoot me now.)

86. EYE COLOR? Blue.




90. YOU LIKE SUSHI? Both times I've had sushi in the past I've liked it, but it really depends what kind you get and how well it's made.

91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED? The Cider House Rules. Fantastic movie.

92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? ...Why would anyone have a favorite day? Out of three hundred sixty five-six days, you expect me to prefer one to the rest?




96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Relationships, though I don't have enough experience to care much for them either.


98. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU HAVE? I don't drive.


100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE: Nonexistent and likely staying that way.

Blender here. I'm gonna stick this here, since I want to eventually phase it out of my own profile due to its obscene length. I'm only putting it here because it was Remi's work in addition to mine. We sat on the couch together and spat out whatever answers made us laugh the most. We chose alternating characters for this, she chose the LoZ ones while I am responsible for the KI, DK, and Aladdin ones. Oh, and if anybody Blender knows in real life comes along and figures out who she is, they have zero permission to look for her profile or stories. And she doesn't want to hear a word about the contents of her account. Kthxbai.

List your top ten favorite video game characters and act as if you were actually in their games.

1. Lord Ghirahim

2. Cranky Kong

3. TP Ganondorf

4. Pit

5. Midna

6. Dark Pit

7. Vaati

8. Hades

9. Saria


What will happen if number 1 woke you up in bed?

You’d die.

Number 3 walked into the bathroom while you're showering?

You’d die.

Number 4 announced he/she's going to marry 9 tomorrow?

That might actually work. They’d probably get along.

Number 5 cooked you dinner?

Baked octorok. Yum.

Number 6 is lying next to you on the beach?

He’s got a better tan.

Number 7 suddenly confessed to be part of your family?

YESSSSSSS! Also, we’d all die.

Number 8 got into the hospital somehow?

Well, Pit did kick his ass. It’s no surprise.

Number 9 made fun of all of your friends?

She must be high.

Number 10 ignored you all the time?

He’s probably scheming.

Two serial killers are hunting you down! Quick! What will number 1 do?

Kill the serial killers, then kill you too for giggles.

You're on vacation with number 2, any you managed to break your leg. What does 2 do?

Brag about how he beat donkey kong with two broken legs.

It's your birthday. What does 3 get you?

A sword to the face. How thoughtful.

You seem to have stuck yourself in a house that's on fire! What does 4 do?

He’d probably valiantly fly in and save the day. How lame.

You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarrassed. What will 5 do?

Laugh at you.

You're about to marry number 10! What is 1's reaction?

It fills his heart with rainbows.

You got dumped by someone. How will 7 cheer you up?

He’ll murder your ex.

You compete in a tournament. How does 9 support you?

Cheering? Maybe giving you a forest medallion?

You can't stop laughing! What will 10 do?

Stare blankly.

Number 1 is all you've ever dreamed of. Why?

Because the shape of his arms leaves me breathless, he has such a perfect form, an exquisite physique, and stunning features.

Number 2 tells you his/her deeply hidden love for 9?


You're dating 3, and he/she introduces you to his/her parents. Would you get along?

No, because his mother is a gerudo. She’d murder your ass and rob your corpse.

Number 6 appears to be a player, breaking many hearts...

… If by breaking hearts, you mean not responding to fangirls, then I believe it.

You had a haircut, and 7 can't stop staring at you.

He’s one to talk.

8 thinks that he/she'll never get a boy/girlfriend. What do you tell him/her?

He’s probably right.

9 is too shy to face you and confesses their love by sending an email. Now what?

Tactfully ignore.

You spot 10 kissing 1. How do you react?

Hysterical laughter. Jafar and Ghirahim, in case you forgot.

You notice that 3 and 4 have been inside that hotel room MORE than a few hours. What are you thinking?

Pit is waving a fishing rod in front of Ganondorf.

Would 2 trust 5?

Initially, no. I feel like they could grudgingly respect each other after awhile though.

Number 4 is bored and pokes 10. What happens after that?

Where does he poke Jafar? It won’t end well, either way. Pit is small, though. He can probably outrun Jafar.

If 5 and 1 are forced to go back to school together, which study will they pick?


If 6 and 3 cooked dinner what would they make?

Bokoblin steaks. With a kikwi salad on the side.

If 7 and 9 apply for a job, what job?

Vaati: Villainry. Saria: Fighting villainry.

If 9 sketches what 6's perfect girl/boyfriend should look like, will 6 be happy?

He will be indifferent.

10 and 9 are blushing while they talk. What is their conversation about?

Saria is telling Jafar that she can see his Aladdin printed underpants.

If 2 sent a message to his/her Bf/Gf but 9 got it, what would happen?

Saria:… He has a girlfriend?!

If 5 and 6 did a workout together?

They wouldn’t be working out, they’d be killing each other.

Could 1 and 6 be soul mates?

Dark Pittahim… Absolutely not.

8 gives 5 a haircut. Is that okay?

No. That is all.

1 accidentally kicked 10?

It would start a war of all the fandoms.

6 noticed he/she wasn't invited to your birthday?

He crashes the party. Maybe. More likely he ignores it, or possibly spies.

7 won the lottery?

He buys himself a new wishing cap.

8 had quite a big secret?

He has thing for Viridi.

9 became a singer?

Not surprising.

10 got a daughter?

He probably raped the mother.

What would 1 think of 2?

Ghirahim would regard Cranky Kong as an insignificant worm.

How would 3 greet 4?

With a warlock punch. Which Pit would probably dodge, in all honesty.

What would 4 envy about 5?

Her ability to levitate, which is more than Pit can do.

What dream would 5 have about 6?

That he’s the angel of death, or something.

What do 6 and 7 have in common?

They both have red eyes.

What would make 7 angry at 8?

Hades trolled Vaati.

Where would 8 meet 9?

In the underworld.

What would 9 never dare to tell 10?


What would make 10 scared of 1?

If Ghirahim kissed him, like in one of the previous questions.

Is 3 Gay?


7 kidnaps 2 and demands something from 5 for 2's release. What is it?

Her hair.

4 invites 3 and 8 to dinner at their house. What happens?

It’s actually a booby trap. Pit books it as soon as he locks them inside, turns out the lights, and throws a few water balloons. Then he sits back and laughs as they kill each other. Either that or Pit’s trying to be a matchmaker.

You need to stay at a friend's house for a night. Whose house, 1 or 6?

If I wanted to stay alive, Pittoo.

2 and 10 are making out when 7 walks in. 7's reaction?

Walks out*

3 falls in love with 6. 8 is jealous. What happens?

The greatest bitch slap war of all time commences while Pittoo escapes, because he is greatly disturbed by both.

4 jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who rescues you, 2, 10 or 7?

None? One’s an old geezer and the other two are probably egging him on.

1 decides to start a cooking show. Fifteen minutes later, what happens?

The kitchen is covered with daggers that he pulled out of nowhere.

3 has to marry either 8, 4 or 9. Who do they choose?

Saria is the only girl, so…

Everyone gangs up on 3. Does 3 stand a chance?


Everyone is invited to 2 and 10's wedding except for 8. How will 8 react.

He’ll crash the wedding…

9 arrives late for 2 and 10's wedding. What happens and why were they late?

She was so disturbed by the pairing that… I don’t even want to think about it anymore.

Have you ever read a 6/10 fic before?

No. However, I suppose if I wanted a challenge I could mildly rule 35 it. I say mildly because there’s no way in hell I’m writing porn.

Do you think 3 is hot? How hot?

Eh…eh…Next question.

Do you recall any fics about 9?

Well, I’ve read ones with her.

Would 1 and 7 make a good couple?

Yes. God, yes. Actually, they’re probably related or something.

5/9 or 5/10?

…Jafar is the only guy, but he’s Jafar…

Make up a summary of a 2/10 fic.


Is there such thing as 1/7 fluff?

You know, on fanfiction, there probably is.

Suggest a title for a 7/10 Hurt/Comfort fic.

‘We’re both villains. Let’s come to terms with this together.’

Does anyone on your friend's list write or draw 6?


What might 10 scream at a moment of great passion?

Kranky! (Well, they have been married several times over in this.)

If you wrote a songfic about 4, what song would it be?

I believe I can fly.

What might be a good pickup line for 10 to use on 4?

“Can you touch me so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?”

What might 10 describe a relationship between 9 and 8?


How would you feel if 7/8 were in a fight?

Fight! Fight! Fight!

What would you think if you found 5 was a really good friend of a sibling or relative of yours?

That would be fuckin awesome!

How would you react if you saw 8 and 10 in a closet together with a rubber ducky?

I would probably stare uncomprehendingly until they said something.

How would you feel if 2 dissed you in the worst possible way ever?

I would be impressed and ask where he got it.

If you saw 10 and 2 in bed together, what would you do?

Walk out.

9 asks you out. Decline or accept?


7 is going to kiss you. How do you react? Hoes does 2 react?

RedNemi would be delighted. Kranky Kong, in all his wisdom, would realize that Vaati probably had poison in his mouth and was trying to murder RedNemi.

You and 10 go shopping. What do you buy?

Parakeets to annoy Iago with.

8 dies. Your reaction is?

I’m waiting for the zinger.

You get into a fight. Would you rather have 3 or 5 as your partner? Why?

Tough choice. Midna, though, because she probably won’t stab you in the back.

You die. 6's reaction is...?

Who’s RedNemi/Blender again? Do I know them?

You and 1 share a song. What is that song?

Something about rainbows. Or something burning to a satisfying crisp.

You have to write a humorous one-shot involving 6. What's the summary?

Pittoo discovers all the Pitcest on Fanfiction. He starts crying. Pit walks in, sees what is making his twin cry, and suffers PTSD after reading an explicit scene.

2 and 10 manage to kiss; on accident. What happens?

They get married.

If 4 and 7 started dating, what would 3 do/say?

He would go kill himself.

8 notices you're extremely sad. What does he/she do about it?

Bakes a soul into a tasty treat and gives it to you.

What would make 5 extremely sad?

…Have you played Twilight Princess?

You and 9 kidnap 1. Why and what would happen?

It would make us positively giggly.

1 can go anywhere in the world. Where would they go?


7 accidentally kills 8. How do 2 and 3 react?

They don’t care.

Do you support 1/2?


You and 2 team up to do something, what is it?

Insult everyone’s gaming skills.

Who would 3 jump in the way of a bullet for?

He’d grab the nearest person and put them in the path of the bullet.

What is your reason to kill 5?

I don’t have any reason to kill Midna.

Can you picture 8 & 5 together?

With great difficulty.

What does 4 like best about 6?

… They’re twins?

2 is trapped in the center of the earth, what does 6 and 10 do?

Jafar would laugh manaically, and Pittoo would grumble and curse as he found some way to save Kranky. Then after he’s done, he’ll boast to Kranky about how he did it using only one life, and in less than an hour. Then he’ll turn around and leave.

What would 9 most likely be arrested for?


Do you believe 8 and 9 would be ever more than friends?


How would you bribe 6?

Food. If he’s anything like Pit, food.

You're out on a fun date with 6 at an Amusement Park. What would he suggest the two of you do first?


4 has invited everyone but you to their party. What do you do?

Crash the party. And get chased out by Pittoo.

If 1, 3 & 4 were a band, what do you think they'd be called?

Let’s kill Pit.

Who would you kill, kiss, or marry out of 9, 6, and 5?

Both Blender and RedNemi: Kill Saria, marry Pittoo when he’s older, and if I’m marrying him, I might as well give him the kiss too.

6 sends 1 on a mission. What is it and does it succeeds?

Kill Hades. Possibly.

If 5 was in the Dictionary, what would the definition be?


What if 2 dated 10?

They’re already married.

Why do you love 6?

…He’s awesome?

What would you do if 5 baked you a pie?

I wouldn’t trust it.

What if 7 took you to Sonic's?

He’d be perplexed by all the electricity and all the milkshake flavors.

Would you give 3,8, and 5 a cookie?


9 decides to paint 5's house. What color? How does 5 react?

Green, and Midna bitch slaps Saria with her hair.

3 falls madly in love with 1 and tells 7. 7, being a gossip, brings this info to 1. What happens?

Ghirahim leads him on, as this fills his heart with rainbows.

It's 4's birthday and his/her best friend 8 throws a surprise party and everyone comes. What does 4 do?

Run screaming because ‘everyone’ consists of reapers.

9 is bored and starts pulling random, cruel pranks on 6. Who comes to stop 9, if anyone?

Pit. Also Pittoo, as he will not stand for this shit.

2 has always been friends with 1, but they get in a fight. What is the fight about?

Ghirahim killed Jafar.

10 and 2 are forced on a date by 3?

Once again. They’ve been married for quite a long time.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Everyone knows this. Because Vaati ate Saria.

4 decides to cuddle into 3. How does 3 react?

Warlock punch.

4 wants to get elected as mayor. What method do they use? How does this turn out?

“I’m an angel, bitches! Elect me!”

What is 10 usually thinking of?

Kranky Kong.

Does 5 have a tiny crush on 8? If so, what do they do about it?


If 7 were to meet 1 without an umbrella in the rain, would 1 lend the umbrella?

No, because watching Vaati get rained on would make Ghirahim positively giggly. If he were to rectify this, it would be frowns all around for Lord Ghirahim.

10 is eating a snack when 4 steals it. What happens?

Pit gets away.

Do you love 9 more than the others?


6 is marrying 9. Why is 1 against this?

He doesn’t care.

Is there any one song to explain 5 and their life?

Midna’s Lament.

6 sees that 3 and 9 are getting unusually close lately. The he/she finds that the two are secretly dating. Reaction?

“Saria must be really gullible.”

1 is eating in a restaurant and gets bored. They throw food at 5, their date. What happens after this?

The restaurant gets demolished in the ensuing fight.

3 wants to become a bestselling author but their writing sucks. How can 8 break this to them?

He doesn’t. He just laughs when Ganondorf’s writing gets made fun of.

9 decides to become 10's worst enemy. Why?

Because he’s evil?

Is 1 a bit crazy when they're with 4? If so, why?

Because there are so many ways he can tear down Pit’s self esteem.

4 asks 7 to tell them a bedtime story. How does the tale go?

Vaati knocks Pit out so he doesn’t have to tell him a story.

6 calls 5 lazy, but 8 defends 5. What does 6 think?

“No, you don’t have a shot in hell with Midna. Stop trying.”

Would you marry 2? If not, who out of the list?

No. I’m not answering that.

9 and 8 are found kissing by 6 and 4. When they tell 7, the gossip, what happens to the 9/8 relationship?

He laughs at it. And so do Pit and Pittoo.

9 tries to get 5 to go to a yoga class. What happen?

Midna makes Saria cry with insults.

You get to meet either 1 or 6. Who do you chose?

Rednemi, Ghirahim. Blender, Pittoo.

10 challenges 4 to a chariot race. Why?

Because it’s fun?

10 gathers everyone around to tell them a fairy tale. How does it go?

It’s actually a booby trap. Kranky is in on it, as the love of his life is hosting it. Everyone dies.

3, 8, 6 and 4 all go to the zoo for 8's birthday party. How does it go? What presents do they get 8?

Pit and Pittoo compare Hades to a baboon and Ganondorf steals all the cotton candy in the park and somehow shoves all of it up Hades’ ass.

Like I said, cotton candy…

Everyone gets together and starts protesting something outside of your house. What are they protesting?

This quiz. We continue the quiz, this time with more aggressive Kranky Kong and Jafar pairings.

9 murders 2’s best friend. What does 2 do to get back at them?

Hits them on the head with his cane.

6 and 1 are in mortal danger. Only one of them can survive. Does 6 save themselves or 1?


Which one of them is most likely to fail at life?


5 is trapped in a cave. 10 comes to rescue them. What happens?

He doesn’t actually come to rescue her.

3 starts a day camp. What happens?

He enslaves all the participants.

4 starts to write a fan-fiction where 2 and 10 are going out. What is 3's reaction?


7 makes an apple pie. Is it any good?


8 and 3 go camping. For some reason they forget to bring any food. What do they do?

Hades eats Ganondorf’s soul. So dark! So chewy! So malleable!

While they are camping, they run into The Blair Witch. What do they do? (If you haven't seen that movie pretend they ran into the Bogyman or something like that instead.)

Talk strategy with her.

The quiz is over. What does everyone go to do now?

Kill us.

What would 6 say if he/she saw 4 and 8 kissing?

He’d punch Hades, bitch slap Pit, and drag Pit away by his scarf while yelling at him, then wonder if Hades had drugged him or something. Either way, Hades is on his hit list again. Then he bitch slaps Pit a second time, for good measure.

Will 2 and 3 ever be best friends?


What would 4 do if he/she found out they were cousins with 9?

He’d think it was really cool, because he’s like that.

Do you think 1 and 5 can be room mates?

They can keep each other in check.

What would 10 say if 7 got ran over by a bus?

He’d chuckle.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Ocarina and Wind Sage of Time by Demon Eliot reviews
A girl gets thrust into Hyrule and given powers that are locked away. The goddesses expect her to help the Hero of Time, but she has no real desire to help. Instead she is trying to unlock her powers while avoiding Ganondorf. Why does she have a Triforce symbol that glows from the centre? And why do people call her "Wind Sage"? Cover art by RedNemi. (Part 1 of my Wind Sage Trilogy)
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 40,668 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 10/29 - Published: 9/23/2012
Shades of Feathers by 23blenders reviews
Dark Pit leaves everyone after the war. Too proud to ask the gods for help, and too ashamed of his past actions to ask his twin, he avoids all contact. Pit believes that he has a responsibility towards Dark Pit, and is determined to help him find a place in the world. As they come to know each other better, each finds in the other his greatest ally and a brother.HIATUS DEAD LAPTOP
Kid Icarus - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 36 - Words: 125,578 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 133 - Updated: 3/28 - Published: 3/28/2013 - Dark Pit, Pit
You Fill My Heart With Rainbows! by X.Electric.Sugar.Pop.X reviews
Demon Lord Ghirahim finds a Mysterious girl in Faron and decides to take her in as a slave for his master. She is somewhat special/useful so Demise allows her to live with Ghirahim and three other demons in his mansion but things get out of hand. After figuring out Demises plan she escapes and finds the Goddess who has Very big plans for her! Takes place before Skyward Sword.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 22,693 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 6/22/2014 - Published: 8/1/2012 - Ghirahim, Demise, Hylia/Her Grace, OC
Tamed by Roseanna62 reviews
A sixteen year old girl living in Hyrule is suddenly kidnapped along with her friends. Why has she ended up on the doorstep of the notorious villain, Vaati? And why does she feel she can relate to he and Shadow Link more than her friends? Follow Violet on her adventurous quest of love, friendship and action!
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 93,403 - Reviews: 241 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 3/29/2014 - Published: 8/17/2012 - Vaati, Shadow Link - Complete
Modern Hyrule by silver neko baka reviews
A Zelda theme park is a dream come true for most Zelda fans. That's what I thought when I bought the tickets for my friends and I. But when strange happenings begin taking place, we all begin to wonder if there's more to this place than meets the eye.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 36 - Words: 67,083 - Reviews: 267 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 1/28/2014 - Published: 12/24/2011
An OoT Novelization With Great Attention to Accuracy by MyLifeForKIRE reviews
I have attempted the daunting task of turning a nonlinear video game into a linear narrative while taking as few artistic liberties as possible. This is my first story written in the Legend of Zelda world, but I think I did a pretty good job resolving all the difficulties. The rest to come, any criticism is appreciated. Uploaded 500 more words because I am dumb.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,756 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/11/2013 - Link, Saria
Persuasion by blacksunset1214 reviews
Because, Deary; everyone's saying it, so it must be true. Oh, please. This isn't a trick. Now be a good girl and listen to me... I'll make you feel all better.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,701 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/10/2013 - Zelda - Complete
Invisible Mask by DJMasterJay reviews
Zelda had completely altered her life just to blend in with everyone else. Although she wore no disguise physically, she felt as of she was wearing an invisible mask hiding her identity from everyone. No one knew the truth of who she really was or where she really came from. But her all ready messed up life changed even more when she met Link... Modern AU Zelink!
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,502 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 11/7/2012 - Published: 9/19/2012 - Zelda, Link
Controllers by Olivia-the-awesome12 reviews
Colleen is your average teen. Oh wait, she and two friends just got sucked into four swords. Not so average anymore, huh? Contains OC's Some slight Link/Zelda and Vio/OC Blue/OC and Shadow/OC/Vaati Disclaimer: I do not own Legend of Zelda: If I did, Zelda would actually kiss Link in skyward sword rather then push him off a cliff. Currently on hold.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,728 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 10/28/2012 - Published: 8/19/2012 - Link, Zelda
Fighting to keep you by Be-afraid.Very-afraid reviews
Shadow X Vaati. It's just random drabble. if people think I should i might turn it into a full blown fanfic, so please review
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 163 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/30/2012 - Vaati, Shadow Link - Complete
The True Ghirahim by DJMasterJay reviews
Thought you knew the real demon lord? Think again! This is my oneshot about how the diamond man invaded my dreams and have me a nightmare that caused other nightmares! Who doesn't like strange oneshots about Debbie the Fabulous! WARNING: This may cause nightmares and/or your head to implode!
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 737 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/30/2012 - Ghirahim - Complete
Ocarina and Wind Sage of Time (Original Version) by Demon Eliot reviews
After having her life wrecked by Din, Farore and Nayru, Sophie agrees to help Link in Ocarina of Time. However things become to easy for the hero so the Goddesses throw things at them to make it more interesting... (Original Story that I will probably never touch again)
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 18,123 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 9/27/2012 - Published: 2/17/2008 - Link
Mon Cœur S'ouvre À Ta Voix by shattered petal reviews
And the sheer torture of belonging. Belonging to a fool, a warrior. A man of Light. -Link/Midna
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,938 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/13/2012 - Link, Midna - Complete
He's Your Son by shattered petal reviews
Link can't find his gloves, and his family are no help at all. -Link/Midna
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,604 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/12/2012 - Link, Midna - Complete
Maybe This Will Work by shattered petal reviews
Link has a revelation, and it only proves his stupidity. -slight Link/Midna
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 539 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/9/2012 - Link, Midna - Complete
Crown by shattered petal reviews
The Queen may have lost the battle, but a King fights to the bloody end. -Link/Midna
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 456 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/8/2012 - Link, Midna - Complete
The Incredible Adventures of Vaati and Rose by The Director 999 reviews
A collection of slightly humorous short stories about the friendship between Vaati and his roommate Rose. It does contain very strong language. Just letting you know. Chapter 7 is up! Still more to come, don't worry
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,233 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 9/1/2012 - Published: 8/18/2011 - Vaati
Just Remember The Pictures by shattered petal reviews
'I'd follow you anywhere, Midna.' In which the imp decides that, yes, Link is and always will be a moron. -Link/Minda, set just after Snowpeak Ruins.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,076 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 14 - Published: 9/1/2012 - Link, Midna - Complete
Secrets Revealed by SoulDea reviews
Four girls are suddenly thrown into the world of Hyrule, and one of them is kidnapped by servants of the Dark Lord. It's up to the three girls to bring back their friend from the clutches of shadows with the help from the four Links. But there are secrets that may very well decide their fate. Will they be able to overcome the trials or fail? BluexOc RedxOc VioxOc ShadowxOc
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,079 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/31/2012 - Published: 8/24/2012 - Vaati, Link
Descent by AkitaKey reviews
My take on Zant's descent into madness and power. Based on the cut scene before you fight him in Twilight Princess. Rated T for disturbing themes.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Horror/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 703 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/22/2012 - Zant - Complete
Pimp Hand Shenanigans by the spoon raven reviews
"Do you really think you can out-pimp me, the Demon Lord of pimp?" Link remained strong and determined. "I know I can," he said with conviction. Ghirahim narrowed his eyes, leaning down slightly, "Prove it."
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 832 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 9 - Published: 4/28/2012 - Link, Ghirahim - Complete
Magelet the Cretin reviews
A child, having been cast out of her family, is taken in by Link and his Grandfather. Oh bummer; you'll have to read to find out anything else.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 15,860 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 2/7/2013 - Published: 9/20/2012 - Link, Vaati