A Drama Queen
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Joined 08-20-12, id: 4211445, Profile Updated: 03-30-14
Author has written 5 stories for Smurfs.

Hello, people of planet earth! (If this does not apply to you, leave right now. Aliens scare me...)

If you are reading this, it either means that you traveled from the future to see my past work for whatever reason (you get an invisible cupcake), that you are splendid enough to read the PURE AWESOME EPICNESS of this profile (mental cookies for YOU), or that you accidentally stumbled upon this gold mine of total fanfiction sweetness (have AIR CANDY)!

If the first applies to you, then I thank you, my future servants... I mean, er... friends, for looking at my stories. If you are simply considerate enough to read this, THANK YOU for looking at my work. It means A LOT to me! You are all awesome! If you just stumbled across this, please, please do not press the back button and abandon me here!

Please?

Still here? Yays.

I'm a beta reader, in case anyone wants to know. I love Betareading, so send me a PM.

At the moment, I will write for Kirby, Smurfs, Rise of the guardians, Kuroshitsuji, and Harry Potter. (Raise your hand if you don't write for the HP fandom. Now, put your hand down if you couldn't write for it if you wanted to. No one? Thought so.) This changes, so I'd keep an eye on this particular paragraph.

I'm uber-happy to take requests, though you'll have to be patient to see them posted.

Well, what are you still here for? Go on and read my fanfics!

I own all of the pictures for my stories and avatar. If you wanna use one, PM me.


MY FANFICS

Completed:

(Smurfs)

Monster of a Grouch: Finished!

A Very, Very Bad Day: Finished! Monster of a Grouch Spin-off. One-shot.

Reflections: Finished! One-shot.

In Progress:

(Smurfs)

A Very Grouchy Romance: Smurfette/Grouchy.

Compulsions: Vanity/Grouchy.

Coming Soon:

(Smurfs)

Untitled: Snappy/Grouchy Family, Hurt/Comfort, NO SLASH.


Me & Fanfiction

1. In my world, Meta Knight is Nightmare's creation. Come on, it's obvious! I especially love fics where Meta is NME's son. I like NME as a father figure, no clue why.

2. Grouchy Smurf is the greatest smurf of all time. He is far less annoying than the other smurfs. And instead of believing he was bitten by a purple fly, I enjoy creating origin stories for him.

3. There's such a diverse selection of fanfics in the HP fandom, I'm not sure what I like to write. If I feel the need to write a dark, meaningful fanfic, it'll probably be Harry Potter.

4. I HATE IT when authors start a great story and then either cancel it or disappear from the face of fanfiction for years on end! I will never do that! The very most I will leave a story is for aproximately two months.

5. I love chatting so just sent me a PM and I promise to reply!

6. I'm too nice to flame, so don't worry, I'm not a cyberbully.


OTP

Rise of the Guardians: Blackice (PitchxJack)

Smurfs: GrouchyxJokey


Warning: long profile ahead. Don't like, don't read, just skip right to my stories!

Gender: Girl.

Favorite food: Strawberries

Favorite color: If I had to choose one on pain of death, I'd pick red.

Favorite movie: The Princess Bride! Greatest movie of all time!

Favorite characters: Meta Knight, Grouchy Smurf, Batman, Jack Frost.

Talents: Writing, Drawing, Daydreaming (this IS a talent).

Personality: Emotionally bouncy, funny, perfectionist, Drama Queen, sensitive, enjoys giving detailed explanations of self.

Likes: Anime, Reading, Writing, Drawing.

Dislikes: Stupidity, hurting other people's feelings, Mary Sues, bad grammar, writer's block.

Pet peeve: Embarrassment, bullies.


"Hero" is more than a title, and less than a state of being. To be a hero is to be regarded as such by others.

- Myself

Change happens whether we want it to or not. The only thing we have power over is our decision to embrace it or fight it.

- Anonymous

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous

Friends are like bras:
close to your heart and there for support.
- Anonymous

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
- Samuel Butler

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes

Don't underestimate your abilities, that's your boss's job.
- Anonymous

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
- Angelina Jolie

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
- Dalai Lama

Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.
- Anonymous

Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder

Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous

Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn't be done.
- Amelia Earhart

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain


PEARLS OF WISDOM: NOT MINE!!

Passion without Pourpose, Strength without Control, Spirit without Disipline, All are the pathways to destruction.

To be afraid of nothing, is to be a fool. To stand up and face your terrors is to be truly brave.

Belief is a powerful and precious thing. But when placed in the hands of finite beings, it is twisted and maimed to thier own ends.

In the end, all we have is ourselves.

The only certainty we have in life is death. So why fear the inevitable?

Respect is nobody's birthright, is only ever earned.

A man has a code of honor, a set of rules he will always obey, no matter how evil or few they may seem.

A life without insanity is hardly worth living.

A rose by ay other name still has it's thorns.

If you want peace, prepare for war.

The dangerous man isn't loud, boastful, and in the spotlight. The dangerous man is quiet, humble, and concealed in shadows.

If you focus on the negative, you never see the positive.

Never make assumptions about people, you never know when they'll surprise you.

All gold is, is a shiny hunk of earth. The only reason it has value is because we give it value.

Evil has a way of befriending the good, and dragging them into the darkness.

We all bleed the same color.

When life hand you lemons, you can do one one of two things: either make lemonade and chill, or send them back at high velocity, preferably attached to a cinder block or another heavy object.

Beware the the beaten dog, he may decided he's had enough and fight back.

Always remember, someone, somewhere, thinks you're an idiot.

Somtimes the best thing you can do is walk away.

The heart wants what the wants, even that which is worse for it.

I know not what I will become, only what I am.


Some of Life's Pet Hates
I got this from another profile.

1. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

2. When people say "Oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it too!" Hello! What good is cake if you can't eat it? Who doesn't want to have their cake and eat it? What else am I going to do with my cake?

3. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who are they? Where are they? And Why?

4. When people say while watching a film "Did you see that??" No, I paid $12.00 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor. Then I miss the next scene because I'm answering the doofus' question!

5. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya?

6. When something is "New and Improved!". Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, so it couldn't be new.

7. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here? Yeah the bus came but I decided to wait for you.


Copy and paste this onto your profile if you think that some of the fanfics that you read should be made into a movie/cartoon episode


Copy and paste this onto your profile if when someone asks you "who you want to be when you grow up", you answer "Me"


I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year.

I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with books, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom,rainbowstrike, iKate, fangalicous08, Rainthief, birdgirl24, Lilac_Rose6, SonicLugiaFan1, Hailfire Vulpes, Lunara the ara, PurplePythonStudios, A Drama Queen,


Homophobia and You

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.


44 Crazy things to do in an elevator! I didn't write it.

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside, and ask, "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in one corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to open the doors, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open by themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them all to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at every floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises whenever someone else pushes a button.

10. Stare grinning at another person for a while, then say, "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square with chalk on the floor then say to the other passengers, "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug with the other passengers. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say that you're waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi, Greg. How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone bends to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend that you're a flight attendant, and review emergency exits with the other passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Yell, "Group hug!", then enforce it.

23. Make race car noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift as you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you just shup UP!" (Something Grouchy Smurf would do, HA!)

26. Walk in with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!", then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring--don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say, "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, then say, "Is that your final answer?"

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask people what floor they want. Whenever they answer, give them a glare and say, "You should be ashamed of yourself!"

33. Ask loudly, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell different people that you can see their aura.

35. When the door closes, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they'll open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long black cloak with a hood, stare at everyone, and in a deep voice announce: "It is time..."

38. Say "Your Majesty" when anyone gets on

39. Introduce yourself as Lord Voldemort

40. Ask people which floor they want and why, and then announce that you're going to the floor with Olympus on it because you didn't steal any lightning.

41. Hang Ethan Hunt style from the ceiling of the elevator and speak ominously when someone enters "Heloooooooo"

42. Still hanging from the ceiling, drop onto whoever comes in.

43. Try to make up and sing lyrics for the boring elevator music.

44. Try to start a My-Briefcase-is-better-than-yours contest.


TOP TEN Excuses If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk At Work:

10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

9. "This is just a fifteen minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white-out. You probably got here just in time!"

7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."

6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"

4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

3. "The coffee machine is broken . . ."

2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot . . ."

And the #1 excuse to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk.

1. " . . . AMEN!"


25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"


In Case You Need Further Proof That The Human Race Is Doomed Because Of Stupidity, Here Are Some Actual Label Instructions On Consumer Goods:

On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Dang, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how?)

On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(Just a suggestion . . . )

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
(Oh, now you tell me!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(Isn't that the point?)

On a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning: keep out of children."
(Hmm . . . Something must have gotten lost in the translation . . . )

On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those five-year-old's with head colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(Well, I should hope so!)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to . . . what?)

On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Step 3: Maybe, uh . . . fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
(Oh, darn . . . )

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)


Many English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners:

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E.Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighbourhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are known to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.


Anyone else having trouble getting to Narnia?

I've used up all of my sick days so I'm calling in dead.

"Don't attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot."

War does not determine who is right... only who is left.

There are two things that are infinite. The universe and human stupidity. And I'm not so sure about the universe.

Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.

Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.

I didn't fall. The floor just needed a hug.

You don't die of a broken heart... you only wish you did.

It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

Quick, whats the number for 9-1-1?

Sticks and stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.

I didn't slap you, I high-fived your face.

Its not until you're broken that you know what you're made of.

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.

I didn't trip. I was just doing a random gravity test.

If your name is Mr.Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Growing old is mandatory . . . growing up is optional . . .

I'm not clumsy. The floor just hates me.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.


Friends will say "You deserve better"; Best friends will call him and say "You die in seven days".

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

"Shut up voices, or I'll poke you with a fork."

Of all the things I've lost... I miss my mind the most.

Of course I'm talking to myself; who else can I trust?

Don't follow me, I'm lost too.

Money may not be the key to happiness, but a lack of money sure is the key to misery.

At least I don't CARE what those mindless people think of me.

It's always in the last place you look...of course it is! WHY would I keep looking AFTER I found it?

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in your face?!

Haha. I don't get it.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.

It’s as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

Reality? That’s where the pizza delivery guy comes from!

Forget about World Peace . . . Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

i souport publik edekasion.

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Diplomacy is the art of saying, ‘Nice doggie!’ . . . 'till you can find a rock.

A good friend will come bail you out of jail. A best friend will be in the next cell saying,"Let's do it again!!"

If at first you don't suceed then sky diving isn't for you.

Those who throw objects at the crocodiles will be asked to retrive them.

Set sail in a general...THAT WAY direction.

Music is my boyfriend.

Definition of Your Mom: how to anwser a question when your bored.

Poke me. I dare you.

This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.

Doctors say I have multiple personalties. We disagree with that.

Bom. Chicka. Waa. Waa.

You cry. I cry. You laugh. I laugh. You jump off a cliff. I laugh even harder.

I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

Change happens whether we want it to or not. The only thing we have power over is our decision to embrace it or fight it.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the people you hate.

Danger: The person beside you is stupid.

It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with.

This world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER!!

Defenition of homework: crude form of mind control still practiced in some primitive areas of the world

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT follow in my footsteps ... I walk into walls and off the occasional cliff.

I'm here because Heaven wouldn't take me, and hell was afraid I'd take over.

I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do, kill me?

Whenever you feel mad at someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Did you know...Sarcasm is your body's natural defense against stupidity.

Have you seen my sanity? I seem to have lost it.

Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorway and run away... he hates that.

Paper may beat rock but cannon ball makes big hole in paper.

Even if the voices aren't real, they got some great ideas.

"We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colours, but they still learn to live in the same box."

"Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far?"

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen. Oh, you think I'm kidding.

What not to say to the police: "You're not going to check the trunk, are you?"

Oh my God, look at you! Was anyone else hurt in the accident?

Some call it stalking; I call it love.

-Boys in books . . . are just better.-

-I have more fictional boyfriends than you do. Beat that!-

-It's funny how someone can break your heart and you still love them with all the little pieces.-

-Happiness. It made the whole dying thing pretty bearable.- (New Moon)

-The best things in life aren't things.- (Art Buchwald)

-Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

-There's that one quote, 'when I'm around you the sky is a different blue'. What happens when I'm around you . . .and the goddamn sky is grey?-

-So here's to teenage romance, and not knowing why it hurts like hell.-

-It's sad when people you know, become people you knew . . . When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours, and now . . . you can barely even look at them.-

-After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist finally said to me, "Maybe . . . life isn't for everyone." -

“My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.”

All I ask for is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy!

If con is the opposite of pro, is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"?

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." --Mark Twain

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small red stain.

Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

To conquer the earth with flying monkeys is not an appropriate career choice. I've already taken it.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keybord can crush your crummy pen!

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the anwser and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, it's encouraged! Why is that?

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Parents spend the first parts of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Boys are like trees- they take 50 years to grow up.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser peasant in aluminum foil.

How are the force and duct tape the same?- Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

What happens when you get scared half to death twice?

Slinky Escalator = Endless Fun!

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.


One day, Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: My husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who then yelled, "You stick that god damned thing in me one more time, and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.


You know your stressed out when you can hear mimes.

(On a T-Shirt.) Who are you, and why are you reading my shirt?

A conclusion is what you reach when you get tired of thinking.

Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!

Normal people worry me.

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in," when it's
only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra
penny going to?

In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?

There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.

"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."

"Cheese . . . Milk's leap toward immortality."

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Education is important. Although school is another matter entirely.

Music is love in search of words.

I used to be normal, until I met those freaks I now call my best friends.

I ran with scissors and lived!

I don't obsess. I just think intensely.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

The knack of flying is attempting to fall . . . and missing the ground.

I find the phrase "Good Morning" an oxymoron.

Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends," is like your dog dying, and your mom saying you can keep it.

Your just jealous that the little voices are talking to me.

I knew something was wrong when my imaginary friends would talk to me.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense." - Tom Clancy

Writing is a socially accepted form of Schizophrenia.

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Be insane . . . Because well behaved girls never made history.

You call me a "B." Well a "B" is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment. :)

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine 'till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance . . . Baffle them with bullshit!

I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.

Don't worry about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

One out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.

The more I learn about people the more I like my cat.

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

I'm a little teapot short and stout. Here is my handle here is my . . . Well I’ll be damned. I'm a sugar bowl.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Therapist = The/rapist . . . Scary thought.

Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!

"I know water doesn't bite! What a stupid thing to say! Water doesn't have to bite you! You drown in it, you moron!" -Stewie Griffin

Muffins are just ugly cupcakes . . . but we love them anyways.

At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.

People who say it can't be done should not interrupt those of us who are doing it.

You can't wait for inspiration; you have to go after it with a club.

Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it thinks about dogs.

My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

Ooooo . . . A life. Where can I download one?

I apologize. What? Do you want me to mean it too?

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

"If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail”. -David Brent-

I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not.

The TRUTH is that everyone's going to hurt you . . . You just have to decide who is worth the pain.

"Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, and the lesson afterwards." - Vernon Law

"Right now I have amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before." - Steven Wright

"I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my super powers."

Palm Reader: -Gasp- "You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it."

"In a world of nonsense, everything something is, it isn't, everything it would be wouldn't, and everything it would be, was."

"I used to care, but I take a pill for that now . . ."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

If the first grape you eat is bitter, then you won't bother eating grapes again. If the first grape you eat is a sweet one, then you are willing to search through all the bitter grapes until you find another sweet one.

Why is it when we're talking to God, we're praying, but whenever God talks to us, we're crazy?

The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.

An Amateur built the Ark with God's help. Professionals built the Titanic by themselves...

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!

The sun has set, the moon has risen, today's the day we get out of prison!!

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

When life gives you lemons squirt them in life's eyes, then run far, far away.

Who was the first person to look a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt"?

When French people swear do they say pardon my English? (Actually, they have their own swear words.)

"Most people learn by observation, and there are a few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." Anonymous

If technically after midnight it's morning, then why do we call it the middle of the night? Shouldn't we call it something like early morning?

Fools live to regret their words, and wise men their silence.

I used to be a lifeguard, but some blue kid got me fired.

Well, paint me purple and call me Barney.

Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States.

You think I'm crazy? At least I admit it.

You know there are poor people in Africa who can't afford sarcasm and yet you abuse it.

Officer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

“Last night, I dreamt I was eating a ten-pound marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was missing.”

"I stopped fighting with my inner Demons. We're on the same side, now."

"If you can't laugh at yourself, I'd be happy to do it for you."


Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks, and you can set your own hours. However, every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists, or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present . . .

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones. They will be easily recognized by their fellows.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No," and shoot him. On second thought, I'll shoot him, then say, "No."

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet, civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large, red button labeled, "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such.

10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

12. One of my advisers will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of a cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 1:17 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

16. I will never utter the sentence, "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."

17. When I employ people as advisers, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mindset.

22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line, "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

29. I will dress in bright and cheery colours, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be pre-emptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.

38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harbouring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.

40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable super weapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, naked mole rat, or whatever sickeningly-cute, little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

43. I will maintain a healthy amount of scepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.

44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.

45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say, "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

46. If an adviser says to me, "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?" I will reply, "This," and kill the adviser.

47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artefact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh PowerBooks.

51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says, "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!", I will say, "Oh well," and kill her.

54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However, before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

57. Before employing any captured artefacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.

58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

60. My five-year-old child adviser will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.

61. If my advisers ask, "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a fire fight.

63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

65. If I must have computer systems with publicly available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment Room.

66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.

68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.

69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.

72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable super-weapon on them.

73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisers assure me it is impossible for them to win.

74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old adviser can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.

75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutenant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror, "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be, "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."

79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the twelve Stones of Power on the sacred altar, then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of, "Push the button."

86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

89. After I capture the hero's super-weapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.

91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say that his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.

96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.

97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.

98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstances have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.

100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.


Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that are not as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.


One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused, and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five- and six-year-olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."


A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She
started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand
up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do
you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you
standing there all by yourself!"

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on
her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself
beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a
tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local
police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the
10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and
asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the
policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him." Little Johnny
asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his
father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the
horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad,
why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I'm buying
horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before
I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to
buy Mom."


Rules For Dealing With Women

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed...1

You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows...0

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...-1

You leave the toilet seat up...-5

You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty...0

When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1

When the Kleenex runs out you use the nex t bathroom... ; -2

You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings...5

In the snow ...8

But return with alchohol...-5

And no liners...-25

You check out a suspicious noise at night...0

You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing...0

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something...5

You pummel it with a six iron...10

It's her cat...-40

AT THE PARTY

You stay by her side the entire party...0

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old

drinking buddy...-2

Named Tiffany...-4

Tiffany is a dancer...-10

With breast implants...-18

HER BIRTHDAY

You remember her birthday...0

You buy a card and flowers...0

You take her out to dinner...0

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar...1

Okay, it is a sports bar...-2

And it's all-you-can-eat night...-3

It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is

painted the colours of your favourite team .-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

Go with a pal...0

The pal is happily married...1

The pal is single...-7

He drives a Ferrari...-10

With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)...-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

You take her to a movie...2

You take her to a movie she likes...4

You take her to a movie you hate...6

You take her to a movie you like...-2

It's called Death Cop III...-3

Which features Cyborgs that crush human skulls...-9

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans...-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable pot belly...-15

You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of

it...10

You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and

baggy Hawaiian shirts...-30

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."...-800

THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"

You hesitate in responding...-10

You reply, "Where?"...-35

You reply, "No, I think it's your ass"...-100

Any other response...-20

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem:

You listen, displaying a concerned expression...0

You listen, for over 30 minutes...5

You relate to her problem and share a similar experience...50

Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying,

"...well, what do you think I should do?"...-100

You have fallen asleep...-200

IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH

You talk...-100

You don't talk...-150

You spend time with her...-200

You don't spend time with her...-500

You seem to be enjoying yourself..-1000

GAME OVER. YOU LOSE.


I got this from another profile:

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z's

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER


Guide to sussing out fake friends from real friends (got it off someone's else profile!):

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
REAL FRIENDS: Help themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FAKE FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
REAL FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FAKE FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk back to the person who talks badly about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them out

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn…we messed up…but that was fun!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Say 'sorry, they can't' when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Never see you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will read this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will steal this (copy and paste).

FAKE FRIENDS: Will help you move.
REAL FRIENDS: Will help you move bodies!!!

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ask you what's wrong after they noticed that you're not acting normally
REAL FRIENDS: Will tell you tell them what's wrong as soon as they look at you


THINGS I MUST NOT DO AT HOGWARTS:

I will NOT sing “We’re off to see The Wizard” when I am sent to the headmasters office.

Dobby is NOT Yoda is disguise.

I will NOT bring a magic-8-ball to Divination Class.

My homework was NOT to get eaten by a werewolf. Especially when my teacher is Professor Lupin.

I will NOT tell the first years to make a tree-house in the Whomping Willow.

I will NOT give Lupin a flea collar.

Nor will I leave dog-biscuits on his desk.

If a classmate falls asleep I will NOT take advantage of this and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

Starting a betting-pool on the fate of this year’s Defence against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky. It is NOT a clever money-making concept.

Shouting “To Infinity and Beyond!” was only funny the first time I took off on a broom.

I will NOT refer to the summoning charm (Accio) as “The Force”.

I will NOT greet Prof. McGonagall with “What’s new Pussy-cat?”.

I will NOT send shampoo to Snape’s office, no matter how badly he needs it.

"Potter 6, Voldemort 0" is not a valid T-shirt slogan.

Even though they are easier to use and probably more effective, I will not use guns against the Death Eaters.

I will not charm Firenze pink and call him "My Little Pony."

No matter how funny it is I will NOT leave kitty litter in Prof. McGonagall’s office.

I will NOT dress up as Lord Voldemort for Halloween.

I will NOT ask Harry Potter if his “Scar-Senses” are tingling.

I will NOT call Dumbledore Santa Claus. Even if it is Christmas.

I will NOT tell Voldemort to “Get a life”.


Calling me Fake, won't make you Real.

Calling me Stupid, won't make you Smart.

Calling me Weak, won't make you Strong.

Calling me Ugly, won't make you Pretty.

Calling me Poor, won't make you Rich.

Calling me Fat, won't make you Skinny.

So why bother?


"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"

"When I die I'll be black."

"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"When you hold your breath you're purple,"
"And when you die you turn grey."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sits back down and the white man walks away...

Copy this onto your profile and help stop racism!


Why Parents Drink

A Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Mum' With the worst premonition she opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Mum,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Mom she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,

Your Son

Paul

P.S. Mum, none of the above is true. I'm over at Dustin's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my centre desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.


Euro-English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".

Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and

keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20 shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the language is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve wil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.


1. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

2. We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like grandfather... not in a screaming panic like the passengers in his car.

4. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

5. Who ever said anything was possible never tried nailing jello to a tree.

7. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

8. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

9. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

10. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

11. They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

12. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

13. Buy one for the price of two and get the second one free!

14. It doesn't matter what temperature the room is. It's always room-temperature.

15. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together

16. The road to hell is ordered by the righteous, planned by the well-meaning, and paved with their good intentions.

17. Always be who you are. Those who matter don't care and those who care don't matter.

18. If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.

19. Good judgement comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgement.

20. Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway.

21. Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. - Louis Hector Berlioz

23. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

24. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

25. Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

26. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

28. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

30. What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

31. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

32. Lies are like children: they're hard work, but it's worth it because the future depends on them. -- Pam Davis, House M.D., It's A Wonderful Lie, 2008

33. The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.

34. Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

36. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

37. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

38. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

41. That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.

42. Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

43. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

45. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from

47. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

48. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

49. When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

50. He who laughs last didn't get it.

51. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. - Stephen Fry

52. There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

53. Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...

55. What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

56. There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? - Woody Allen

57. Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.

58. Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. - Woody Allen

62. I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. - Woody Allen

63. I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. - Woody Allen

64. I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys. - Woody Allen

65. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. - Woody Allen

71. A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible. - George Burns

75. Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere. - G. K. Chesterton

76. It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you

77. Don't be so humble - you are not that great. -- Golda Meir

78. When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.

80. I can tell you're lying. Your lips are moving.

81. There's nothing more restful than taking orders from fools.

82. Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

83. It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys.

87. I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

88. The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

89. The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. - General George Patton

92. We are the people our parents warned us about.

94. Only those who attempt the absurd can acheive the impossible.

95. The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, i'll never be as good as a wall. - Mitch Hedberg

96. If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? - Steven Wright

98. Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue. - Anonymous

102. Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

103. If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score? - Vince Lombardi

104. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. - Rick Cook, The Wizardry Compiled

108. The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. - Samuel Johnson

109. A friend helps you up when you fall, a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

110. A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain a best friend takes yours and say, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"

111. A friend wipes your tears when you’re rejected, a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

112. A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!!

113. "Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the Universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a chair has wet paint on it, and he'll have to touch it to be sure."

114. "Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence."

115. "You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder."

116. The diference between humor and tragedy is that humor is when it happens to someone else."

117. "Who ever said that words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary."

118. Don't let your mind wander, Its too little to be let out alone.

119. "The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music. "

120. "War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left. "

121. We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

122. Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.

123. Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them as much.

124. A repair shop: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)

125. An apple a day keeps the doctor away... if you throw it hard enough.

126. Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it. - Unknown

127. I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. -- Jackie Mason

130. My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me. -- Benjamin Disraeli

131. Things could always be worse; for instance, you could be ugly and work in the Post Office. -- Adrienne E. Gusoff

132. Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-- Benjamin Franklin

135. Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
-- Wendell Johnson


Handling Kids is Easy.

As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.

Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.

Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.

As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. "Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"

The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose."


65 percent of teenagers would rather watch T.V. than read. If you are one of the 35 percent that would rather have their nose stuck in a book, copy this in your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you wish Meta Knight/Sword/Blade were real, copy and paste this into your profile.

eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc, sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

If you say soda instead of pop, copy and past this to your profile

If you think Sword and Blade need way more attention in the anime because they are friggin awsome, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've tripped over air, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor"--a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, my friends, for I may not return alive.

If you read your own stories or profile just for the heck of it,copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think too much swearing is unnecesary,copy and paste this to your profile

92 percent of American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it's uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts of at the others.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't do drugs (They are nasty), copy/paste this into your profile.

If you like to write, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If sometimes your fanfics seem to write themselves, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, ect, copy this onto your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like Copy & Paste stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

Pie are square? No! Pies are round. Cornbread are square.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. (Hours, sometimes. That's not strange at all!)

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever scared someone off, copy and paste this into your profile. (One in real life and one on FF.net.)

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

90% of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10% that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your profile

If you think it's dumb to ban songfics when we have two amendments supporting it (Freedom of Press, Freedom of free expresion), copy and paste this to your profile. ("Dumb" doesn't cover it.)

If one part of you is calm and the other part likes to stand on their head and sing theme songs, copy and paste this to your profile

If you're a fan of the The Penguins of Madagascar, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you're a fan of Skipper, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have authors you respect, copy and paste this to your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile! (ALL of my friends are insane, just like most of my family members...)

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you are a crazed Meta Knight fangirl, copy and past- blah blah blah you know the rest (lol)

Type you name with your hands: LULABY1LOVE (okay...)

Type your name with your nose: LULABY1LOVE (AWESOME!!)

Type your name with your toes: LULABY1LOVE (I'm so proud!)

Type your name without looking: LULABY1LOVE (I closed my eyes, don't worry I didn't peek ;)

A Flame Poem-By Meta Knight LOVER

Don't you understand?
There's someone behind the pen name,
who wrote this with their own hand,
and who worked so hard to finish.
But they made a mistake,
after all no one is perfect,
but they gave you headache,
now you have to tell them
how horrible they did.
You could give it to them
like a simple suggestion,
but you're not like that,
you are strong and uncaring,
so a flame they shall get!

Meanwhile, the sweet young author,
who has been out for awhile,
sees they've been reviewed.
At first they are hopeful,
until they read it,
then they become mournful.
A tear is spotted
from the corner of their eye
and they hope
that this is just a lie.
But deep down inside,
they know it isn't
and they feel the need to hide,
so they delete the story.
All that hard work, gone.
Congrades to you,
you just had to say what's wrong.

Flamers will pick about this poem. People who hate flamers will repost this in their profiles!!


Murder or Suicide:

The Strange Death of Ronald Opus

On March 23, 1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to that effect indicating his despondency.

As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the decedent was aware that a safety net had been installed just below at the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

Ordinarily, a person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide. That Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands.

An elderly man and his wife occupied the room on the ninth floor, whence the shotgun blast emanated from. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger. He completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window, striking Mr. Opus.

When one intends to kill subject' A' but kills subject 'B' in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject 'B'. When confronted with the murder charge the old man and his wife were both adamant. They both said they thought the shotgun was unloaded. The old man said it was his long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore, the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother. Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger.

So the case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

Now here comes the exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window.

The son had actually murdered himself, so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.


More copy & paste stuff...NOT MINE

I brake for... oh no! I don't have brakes.

Diet, Be Skinny, Die Anyway

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brain kept falling out.

Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Yadda Yadda de Blah Blah, and I am an alcoholic?

"You know when you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." -Dr. Seuss


The Perfect Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man answers using the loud speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: 'Hello.'

WOMAN: 'Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?'

MAN: 'Yes.'

WOMAN: 'I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only 1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?'

MAN: 'Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.'

WOMAN: 'I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2008 model. I saw one I really liked.'

MAN: 'Really? Go for it.'

WOMAN: 'Thank you honey.'

MAN: ' Make sure you get it with all the options!'

WOMAN: 'Great! Oh, and one more thing ... the house we wanted last year is back on the market.'

MAN: 'Well then, go ahead and give them an offer.'

WOMAN: 'OK. I'll see you later! I love you!'

MAN: 'Bye, I love you, too.'

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he asks: 'Anyone know who this phone belongs to?'


THINGS TO PONDER

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'


This is sooooo sad! It made me cry!!

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great big crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy, why'd it have to be me, no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Connecticut students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
repost and show you care


You Know You're Living in 2012 When:

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or myspace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job...Or, your teachers don't even have the ability to do your homework.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.


A 15-year-old girl holds hands with her 2-year-old son. People call her a whore. No one knows she was raped at 13. People call a girl fat. No one knows she has a serious disease that causes her to be overweight. People call an old man ugly. No one knows he acquired a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. Repost this if you're against bullying and stereotyping.


I would like to conclude this profile with a couple inspirational quotes from anonymous people. Anonymous because I can't remember their names.

"Writing is easy. All you have to do is stare at a blank piece of paper until drops of blood form on you forehead."
-Anonymous

"Inspiration is like a math lecture; it's slow, sometimes painful, and mentally exausting...but very necessary."
-Anonymous


Well, that's about it. Read and Review! Flames will be used to roast yummy hot dogs over magical rainbow fires created with zombie unicorn lazer vision!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Essentially Immortal by selena1234 reviews
During the Graveyard Incident, Harry wanted to know: Why did Voldemort kill his parents that day? Thinking to humour the boy, Voldemort shares the Prophecy. Harry then goes on to share how utterly fake it is. Unsure on how true it is, Voldemort summons Serverus... and it goes downhill from there. Or does it?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 19,765 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 281 - Updated: 4/20 - Published: 3/9 - Harry P., Voldemort
What Should Have Happened in Harry Potter by Redbayly reviews
Ever wonder about how things would've gone if you applied real-world logic to the Harry Potter world? Let's just say, things would have definitely turned out different. This is a satire (as in not to be taken seriously). See introduction for details.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 45,988 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 4/16 - Published: 3/30 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., Albus D.
Memento Mori by Zoni reviews
The contract has ended and Sebastian has earned his meal. However, when he tries to devour Ciel's soul he finds that something older and more sinister than himself has already laid claim to the boy. Sebastian/Ciel
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,795 - Reviews: 152 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 223 - Updated: 4/16 - Published: 7/18/2011 - Sebastian M., Ciel P.
A Day in the Life: Drarry Oneshots by HowDracoGotHisGrooveBack reviews
A little collection of Drarry one shots- Most are funny, some not. Featuring a boomerang, a furious Lucius Malfoy and loads of whipped cream- not in that order, though . Read and review! Warnings: Slash. Rated T for safety.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 122 - Words: 109,359 - Reviews: 1467 - Favs: 384 - Follows: 397 - Updated: 4/6 - Published: 12/16/2011 - Harry P., Draco M.
Pinkie's Fear by Quaver Ava reviews
Pinkie Pie is terrified of losing friends. It's not a laughing matter. Fluttershy knows this all too well and when Pinkie laughs at her stage fright... Her anger gets the best of her this time. She knows exactly what she did to Pinkie, but does she care? Yes, yes she does...
My Little Pony - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,817 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 4/6 - Published: 2/26 - Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy
A Father's Love by Elyograg reviews
Cute random stories about 6 year old Robin being raised by his loving daddy Bats. Some chapters are in chronological order others aren't. I write them when I get the ideas for them. Hope you all enjoy!
Young Justice - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 37 - Words: 49,484 - Reviews: 1039 - Favs: 570 - Follows: 481 - Updated: 4/4 - Published: 10/18/2011 - Richard G./Nightwing, Bruce W./Batman
What's in a House? by ImSuperSiriusGuys reviews
If Harry Potter sat by Draco Malfoy on the Hogwarts Express in 1991 and got Sorted into Slytherin House. Series-length story, going from 1991-1998. Who you share your Chocolate Frogs with makes a world of a difference.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 19 - Words: 78,444 - Reviews: 260 - Favs: 261 - Follows: 421 - Updated: 4/2 - Published: 10/30/2013 - Harry P., Draco M.
Different, Not Defective by awesomelyglorious reviews
Everyone said Harry was different, but what if the differences were more than just surviving the killing curse? What if Harry had Autism? How would the wizarding world react and adapt to The Boy Who Lived?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 27,726 - Reviews: 577 - Favs: 1,065 - Follows: 1,586 - Updated: 3/31 - Published: 7/31/2011 - Harry P., Severus S.
Love, Lily by sevlily4ever reviews
Lily Evans sends a letter to her son on his eleventh birthday, explaining that Severus Snape is his father. Armed with this knowledge, Harry goes to Hogwarts ready to prove to Snape that he is worthy of being his son.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 27,398 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 303 - Follows: 631 - Updated: 3/29 - Published: 1/15 - Harry P., Severus S.
100 Tainted Snowflakes by Sumi-Sprite reviews
Drabbles set of 100 themes circulating around the Blackice pairing. Various AUs, genres, ratings, and themes. Pitch/Jack, don't like, don't read! Thank you! Rating to be changed later.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,336 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 3/27 - Published: 6/16/2013 - Pitch, Jack Frost
Sherlock: Road trip from Hell by TaxiCabtoNowhereland reviews
"Two egotistical geniuses, one armed Detective inspector, and a trigger happy army doctor all in a packed car for who knows how long. This was not going to end well." Mummy wants to see them all! what else can they do but go along for the ride? (a little OOC and Crack - Warnings Inside)
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,391 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 3/18 - Published: 3/12 - [Sherlock H., John W.] [DI Lestrade, Mycroft H.] - Complete
Logic, Balance and Tolerance by G96 Saber reviews
A fiercely intelligent child enters the Wizarding World. He is most definitely not what was expected. The questions he asks, however, alter Wizarding Britain forever. What really are the Dark Arts? What are the limits of Magic? Is there any logic to Pureblood Supremacy? Is a balance possible?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 27,964 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 412 - Follows: 696 - Updated: 3/15 - Published: 7/13/2013 - Harry P., Neville L.
Violent Delights Have Violent Ends by Harley Grace reviews
Batman and Catwoman do the unthinkable; they marry in secret. Yet life goes on as before, and not even the people closest to the Dark Knight notice anything different; until things go from good to bad, and from bad to worse. Lies will separate the League, honesty will bring them together. What will it take for Batman to acknowledge his fears, rather than burying them?
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,444 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 3/4 - Published: 6/24/2013 - Bruce W./Batman, Selina K./Catwoman
Texts Between Sherlock and Mycroft by everything sherlocky reviews
Texts between Sherlock and Mycroft
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,023 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 2/28 - Published: 1/30 - Sherlock H., Mycroft H.
Bully by ROSSELLA1 reviews
An old enemy of Merlin comes to Camelot.
Merlin - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,398 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 140 - Follows: 254 - Updated: 2/27 - Published: 9/12/2011 - Arthur, Merlin
Getting to Know Hamilton Burger by SadaraLochlan reviews
District Attorney Hamilton Burger gets roped into telling stories about his personal life.
Perry Mason - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,477 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/27 - Della S., Hamilton B., Perry M., OC
Dear Order by SilverWolf7007 reviews
"I'm still alive, as you may surmise from this note. Of course, I could be dead and someone is faking the letter to fool you…" Harry is NOT happy about being left at Privet Drive all summer with no one to talk to.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 23,268 - Reviews: 5092 - Favs: 7,042 - Follows: 7,609 - Updated: 2/25 - Published: 9/17/2006 - Harry P., Luna L.
Kiss Me Like You Mean It by CrazyApplesandOranges reviews
They have a relationship outside of a relationship, and neither really knows why.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 487 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/23 - [Draco M., Harry P.] - Complete
Sue Corps by Miss Instant Noodles reviews
How do Mary Sues become Mary Sues? Why, with the help of Sue Corps, of course! Ellie and Carter Trotter, squabbling sibling duo extraordinaire, run the Harry Potter fandom's Sue Corps shop. They soon find themselves hunted down by the Canon Protection Agency, members of a strange investigation bureau, and even characters of Harry Potter out for revenge ...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 16,867 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 2/17 - Published: 11/16/2013 - Harry P., Hermione G., Draco M., OC
Names, and Other Unnecessary Things by Mirthful-Malady reviews
In which Harry is an extraordinarily intelligent child who has an intense dislike for boredom, wizards were never meant to be Horcruxes, a certain god of death has an almost lecherous obsession with apples and everyone has their own agenda. AU events for both universes. Dark(ish)!Smart!Harry eventual godlike!harry future slash of both varieties and some het. Polyamory abounds.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Death Note - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Friendship - Chapters: 15 - Words: 27,580 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 337 - Follows: 446 - Updated: 2/15 - Published: 10/1/2013 - Harry P., BB, L
Muggle Fairy Tales Are Mad! by Meltha reviews
During the Horcrux hunt in book 7, Hermione tells the boys Muggle fairy tales to pass the time. Now with Beauty and the Beast!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 78,114 - Reviews: 307 - Favs: 317 - Follows: 255 - Updated: 2/14 - Published: 1/6/2010 - Hermione G., Ron W.
Can I Sleep With You? by StArBarD reviews
Sherlock wakes Mycroft in the middle of the night. Kid!lock. Now a trilogy.
Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Family/Mystery - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,162 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 2/12 - Published: 11/8/2013 - Sherlock H., Mycroft H.
A Nightmare's Jewel by Lady Galaxious reviews
The renowned Star Warrior, Meta Knight, didn't always fight alongside the Galaxy Soldier Army. Instead, he was against them, working for his creator. My belief about Meta Knight's past. Includes Sir Arthur, Jecra, Garlude, Yamikage, Galactic Knight, a main OC, and a few lesser role OCs. Rated T for future blood, violence, and character death. Show based, not game based.
Kirby - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 25,254 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 2/8 - Published: 6/11/2012 - Meta-Knight, Nightmare
Five Times Sherlock Showed He Cared and the One Time He Said It Aloud by Vienna Warren reviews
Sherlock loves his brother dearly, although he may not always express this love with words. Six drabbles featuring brotherly bonding between Sherlock and Mycroft. Reviews are always appreciated.
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,852 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 2/1 - Published: 1/27 - Sherlock H., John W., Mycroft H. - Complete
Mycroft Nags by supremegreendragon reviews
And it annoys Sherlock to no end.
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 14 - Words: 9,807 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 2/1 - Published: 4/30/2012 - Mycroft H., Sherlock H.
But When Have I Ever Listened to Mummy? by TheMarauderBandit reviews
"Mycroft, Mummy said..." [One-shot!]
Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 608 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 12 - Published: 1/30 - Sherlock H., Mycroft H. - Complete
Prince of Demonbeasts by Cosmicgiraffe reviews
"Why did he look upon the GSA so highly? Did he really believe they were fighting for justice? While they saved the lives of all other races, they murdered his kind upon sight... and it was the pain and suffering of demonbeasts that bled upon battlefields..." Meta Knight's personal fight for glory and honor... all the while, struggling to hang on to his past...
Kirby - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Tragedy - Chapters: 11 - Words: 94,680 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 1/28 - Published: 7/12/2010 - Meta-Knight
The Five Minute Pirate by moonlight goose reviews
It was five minutes, maybe more than five, but it wasn't that long. Sherlock, however, really knows how to get on his brother's last nerve within those five minutes.
Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 674 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 8 - Published: 1/25 - Sherlock H., Mycroft H. - Complete
Secrets Hidden in The Snow by Shimmer712 reviews
The Winter Faerie Queen is dead. The Winter Fae search for a replacement and find a newly reborn Jack Frost, spreading snow and ice. If that's not a sign, what is?
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 39 - Words: 35,917 - Reviews: 308 - Favs: 326 - Follows: 384 - Updated: 1/25 - Published: 1/18/2013 - Jack Frost
Conversations by Jean Hicks reviews
A series of conversations between Mycroft and Sherlock as children. Assumes Mycroft is at least 10 years older, but that's not really important. Short, simple, and, if all went well, quite sweet. Fluff. Read, review, and enjoy!
Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,093 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/25 - Sherlock H., Mycroft H. - Complete
Tread Carefully by Sreia
For we are the monsters in your head. Set after Savior and parallel to The Visitor, but can be read as a stand-alone story.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,513 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/14 - Harry P., Dementors - Complete
And maybe it hurt by Pozagee reviews
After the Jack the Ripper incident, Grell's punishment is causing him to wear down. TBC? If so, future William/Grell.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 7,867 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 1/12 - Published: 9/9/2013 - Grell S., William S.
Knight of the Stars by Flamefox2 reviews
Steadily-recovering Meta Knight is growing to be a friend of Fumu's, and she is slowly learning his secrets. But when NME wants to take control of Meta Knight again, will the demon be able to resist? Or will he submit to Nightmare's wishes? Set in the idea that MK crashes instead of Kirby. On hold due to lack of an actual plot, sorry guys.
Kirby - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 42,466 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 1/8 - Published: 6/11/2012 - Meta-Knight, Fumu/Tiff
Confusion by IZZY-CHAN13 reviews
Brainy has always been eccentric, and one always wonders what's swimming in that head of his. An innocent infatuation takes a turn for the worst. The so-called 'meddling' of his only friend and the hatred he feels for the others changes him completely...
Smurfs - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,094 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 12/30/2013 - Published: 4/15/2010 - Papa Smurf, Sassette, Clumsy, Brainy
The Frailty Of Genius by Emeraldbuttercup reviews
When a case begins to unravel Sherlock's secrets...
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,553 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 12/29/2013 - Published: 12/27/2013 - Sherlock H., John W., Mycroft H., DI Lestrade
Smurf One Baby Step by SimonetteRox13 reviews
When Brainy messes around in Papa Smurf's lab, he finds himself in big trouble. Now the other smurfs must literally take care of the problem. One-shot
Smurfs - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,753 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/28/2013 - Brainy - Complete
Smurfing Around by AnimationNut reviews
A series of one-shots; smurf me your requests and I'll type a one-shot. Look inside for a few rules. Chapter Thirteen: For as long as Grouchy and Gutsy can remember, Brainy has always refused care when sick. Will an ill Brainy put up another fight when his two older brothers volunteer to take care of him? Read to find out.
Smurfs - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 13 - Words: 34,529 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 12/26/2013 - Published: 4/19/2012 - Brainy - Complete
A Home for Fear by MiraEyeteeth reviews
Pitch languishes after his defeat until Jack Frost comes to find him. An exploration of what Pitch's place in the world should be. Additionally, there are zany antics.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 77 - Words: 85,164 - Reviews: 1572 - Favs: 650 - Follows: 607 - Updated: 12/17/2013 - Published: 11/30/2012 - Jack Frost, Pitch
Harry Addams by Savy13 reviews
The Addams Family gets a new member.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Addams Family - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 33,991 - Reviews: 674 - Favs: 1,446 - Follows: 1,898 - Updated: 12/11/2013 - Published: 9/6/2012 - Harry P.
Remembering by daintydreams reviews
The Guardians want Jack to grow up and at least show some kind of responsibility. They don't know that he, quite simply, can't. The Man In the Moon sends the Guardians and the Burgess kids into the whirlpool called memories.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 16 - Words: 27,477 - Reviews: 256 - Favs: 310 - Follows: 322 - Updated: 12/9/2013 - Published: 6/20/2013 - Jack Frost - Complete
Not All Those Who Wander are Lost by PainInTheAsguardian reviews
Takes place after "The Last Guardian". The Guardians have high expectations of both the Guardian of Fun and the Guardian of Courage, but will they ever be able to fulfill those expectations? More importantly, do they really even care about doing so? Part 2 of Snowflakes and Shadows. BlackIce.
Crossover - Rise of the Guardians & Guardians of Childhood series - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 33,444 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 11/26/2013 - Published: 4/28/2013 - Jack Frost, Pitch, Mother Nature
Malfoy by ObsessiveCompulsiveforhp reviews
Super AU Fifth Year Harry Potter has reached the end of his rope, and turns to an unlikely source for support and comfort.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,849 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 246 - Updated: 11/26/2013 - Published: 8/4/2013 - Harry P., Lucius M., Narcissa M.
Stories of the Saccharine Kind by xmmconfesses reviews
HPDM Slash. Fluff & Humour! Draco and Harry may not be exactly the same, they’re probably completely different. But like two pieces of a jigsaw, that are rarely the same shape, they're perfect for each other.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 73 - Words: 44,948 - Reviews: 874 - Favs: 358 - Follows: 276 - Updated: 11/19/2013 - Published: 5/22/2006 - Harry P., Draco M.
A Dance of Death by Serenity Sasamoto reviews
"I don't want them to see this side of Winter. I don't want anyone to see this side of me..." As the Spirit of Winter, Jack Frost has more duties than most people know, responsibilities that he dares not tell of to anyone. Third chapter is now up.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 16,478 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 197 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 11/14/2013 - Published: 1/10/2013 - Jack Frost
Covered in Red by BloodiedReaper reviews
William has long since gotten used to Grell's strange, reclusive attitude on the anniversary of her death, but when she starts acting even stranger than usual, William decides he must try to discover what made her into a reaper. *In case you can't tell, I use feminine pronouns for Grell in this story because that is how she refers to herself in Japanese
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,570 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 11/12/2013 - Published: 6/9/2013 - Grell S., William S.
Pushed by CrimsonDomi reviews
If Harry was pushed just a little more... AU. Abusive!Vernon.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Horror/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 351 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/9/2013 - Harry P., Vernon D. - Complete
The Madness Within by WaywardThoughts reviews
He had always noticed it. Small, but not easily ignored. But with the Dark Lord's return, it has become more demanding, pushing at his sanity. He will not surrender to its whispers, its promises of fulfilled desires. But in the end, he may not want to fight any more. After all, we all go a little mad sometimes. Except that when the Boy Who Lived does, the consequences are huger.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 3 - Words: 16,578 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 11/2/2013 - Published: 9/23/2013 - Harry P., Voldemort, Albus D.
Angel of Anarchy by Supernatural-is-killing-me reviews
Witnessing Lily's death left scars. Being trapped in the same room with the body of his mother for a day left more. Can you really blame Harry for the fact that he's not quite stable?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,872 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 10/21/2013 - Published: 10/11/2013 - Harry P.
Listen! by GreenEyesGreySkies reviews
Draco is quite certain that he's heard something strange outside. Harry just really wishes he hadn't offered to share a tent with the Slytherin prat in the first place. Hogwarts AU. This is my version of H/D sharing-a-tiny-tent cliche. (I'm cool).
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,231 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/20/2013 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
In The Library by Omi-Omi reviews
There's no talking in the library at Hogwarts, not under Madam Pince's watch. Unfortunately, there's only one copy of the book Harry and Draco both need for the Potions essay that is due the next morning, so they will have to find some way to share. Quietly.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,932 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/13/2013 - [Harry P., Draco M.] - Complete
Insane Asylum Escapees by RuneWitchSakura reviews
This is a series of oneshots that involve Harry believing that everyone in the 'magical' world is insane. Starts with Dumbledore, Snape, and McGonagall getting Harry, instead of Hagrid, and goes in random order from there. Involves much sarcasm from Harry. Feel free to adopt.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 10,203 - Reviews: 1290 - Favs: 2,689 - Follows: 2,319 - Updated: 10/11/2013 - Published: 5/12/2007 - Harry P.
The Longer I Run by Cayran reviews
Jack Frost has always been the one to adapt. He's adapted to solitude, constant traveling, and sleeping in trees. Now, thanks to the turning of tables, Jack has to adapt again - to the Guardians, to his new found family. A collection of one-shots centered around Jack Frost's relationship with the big four. (Everything ranging for angst to humor! Suggestions welcomed!)
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 20 - Words: 87,360 - Reviews: 616 - Favs: 590 - Follows: 641 - Updated: 10/8/2013 - Published: 1/23/2013 - Jack Frost, Bunnymund
Wrong by Amber Akasha reviews
They all assumed he was obsessed with Malfoy. He didn't mind. It gave him a convenient excuse to sneak off to see Marcus.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 780 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/24/2013 - [Harry P., Marcus F.] - Complete
Revenge is the Purest Passion by erpastiche reviews
A look into the life of Sirius Black while he is on the run. The many years in Azkaban have taken a toll on the mind of the noble Gryffindor. He must pull himself together to support Harry, but with each day he feels more and more helpless. It is in the most unexpected place that Sirius finds peace. Eventual SB/SS Starts out a bit dark but it gets lighter and builds from there.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 19,263 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 9/22/2013 - Published: 7/20/2013 - Sirius B., Severus S.
Stay Weird, Dude by Kitty Burglar reviews
When Harry throws his bedframe out the window, many things (but not all) change. Like the neighbours criminal record, for instance.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,936 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 9/20/2013 - Published: 7/22/2013 - Harry P., Luna L.
Jokul Frosti by Sakura Taichou reviews
It's been ages since he's felt that call but Jack doesn't forget, and he's always valued his friends no matter how long they've been away. He just wishes Thor would stop trying to leave him offerings by his staff when he thinks Jack's not looking.
Crossover - Avengers & Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,292 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 566 - Follows: 689 - Updated: 9/8/2013 - Published: 6/2/2013 - Thor, Jack Frost
200 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do at Hogwarts by selenehekate reviews
Now being REVAMPED! It's Fred and George's last year at Hogwarts, so naturally they want to break the rules... and get Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Ginny involved! Their list of 200 things they shouldn't do, but will do anyway... Told in snippets, R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 22 - Words: 46,231 - Reviews: 1140 - Favs: 927 - Follows: 515 - Updated: 8/28/2013 - Published: 6/16/2009 - Fred W., George W. - Complete
Order of Realisation: The Rewrite by JadedHowl reviews
AU 5th year onwards. Harry goes after Sirius to the ministry alone and when he is cornered by Voldemort hidden secrets are revealed, shocking all. "Well this changes everything." Voldemort finds out that Harry is a Horcrux and chaos ensues. A rewrite of "Order of Realisation"
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 11 - Words: 55,345 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 252 - Follows: 440 - Updated: 8/26/2013 - Published: 6/7/2012 - Harry P., Voldemort
Hats and Kisses by The Song Has Spoken reviews
Someone has done something awful! They... Dyed the Smurf's hats different colors! It wasn't Jokey, but the other Smurfs don't believe him. Can his secret boyfriend Grouchy convince them, without outing himself? JOUCHY! Slash.
Smurfs - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,716 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/25/2013 - Grouchy, Jokey
Secrets by Catvenger reviews
Three hundred years is a long time. Jack Frost has picked up some.. habits. And he's not quite ready to stop.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,310 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 8/20/2013 - Published: 6/12/2013
Smurf couples by chibinekogirl101 reviews
You wanna request a couple? Please read the rules!
Smurfs - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 6,541 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/17/2013 - Published: 3/10/2012
Of Fluffy Things And Smurfette Dreams by The Song Has Spoken reviews
Vanity realizes he is unhappy in his body. Why? Because he's handsome... No, seriously. What do you do when you're a Smurf who wants to be a Smurfette? TRANSGENDER VANITY EVENTUALLY. Don't like, don't read.
Smurfs - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 721 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/15/2013
The Smurfs One-Shot Collection by The Song Has Spoken reviews
Yup, one-shots about our favorite blue creatures. Will have slash pairings, femslash pairings, het pairings, or even no pairings. Most will be from the second movie, so there will be spoilers! Ratings will vary. All warnings will be listed in the summary! Feel free to ask for a certain story, as well. Reviews loved!
Smurfs - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,124 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/15/2013 - Published: 8/1/2013 - Papa Smurf, Smurfette, Grouchy
Rise of the Guardians: BloopersGag Reel by DragonEmerald98 reviews
I had a sudden epiphany- why not have Rise of the Guardians have bloopers? Partially inspired by the Lion King Bloopers, the Toy Story 2 bloopers, and partially by my insane mind. These are kind of random and stupid, but I guess they'd be good for a laugh or two. If I think of any more, I'll add them later. Enjoy my insanity!
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,854 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 8/14/2013 - Published: 1/20/2013 - Jack Frost, Jamie
Oh, Brother by SmallSunshine reviews
Boys will be boys, and these boys couldn't be more different from each other if they tried. But that certainly won't stop them from having their own little adventures with their 'brothers'. Even before breakfast. Set when the smurfs are smurflings. Oneshot. Mainly focuses on Handy, Hefty, Grouchy, Gutsy, Brainy and Clumsy.
Smurfs - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,763 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 7 - Published: 8/14/2013 - Papa Smurf - Complete
The Beginning of the Winter's Night by Brightfire15 reviews
Requested by fans. Prequel to "Rise of the Winter's Night." Jacquelyn Frost is the Bringer of Winter and enjoys mischief and having fun with children. But after 100 years since she was first created, she's lonely and longs to cease being invisible and to love and be loved in return. Finally, it seems as though Pitch Black is her wish fulfilled, but is he really what he claims? R&R!
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,580 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 7 - Published: 8/12/2013 - Jack Frost, Pitch, Sandy - Complete
An Unexpected Friendship by TheGirlWhoCannotSolveRiddles reviews
Grouchy gets stuck smurfberry picking with Brainy, but will it actually turn out a disaster? My first Smurf fanfic, enjoy!
Smurfs - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 937 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/11/2013 - Grouchy, Brainy
You can't kill fear by Ann-sama reviews
"The world can't live without fear." "As long as one child believes, we will be here to fight fear."... But should they really? Was Pitch right? He was always there... What will happen to the children if everything he was trying to say was true? Set after the movie. PitchxJack
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,017 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 8/6/2013 - Published: 5/20/2013 - Jack Frost, Pitch, Tooth, Sandy
Smurf-Crossed Lovers: The Law of the Life Givers by Frostforge44 reviews
Seven years it has been since coming to the Smurfs and Crafty is about to go on the adventure of a lifetime. Her mission: Find the truth of the darkness of one of her closest friends. At first it was a group mission with her and her family, but after a larger than life fight with Gutsy, she goes off on her own. Will she find the truth? Will she and Gutsy be broken apart? For good?
Smurfs - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 62,916 - Reviews: 177 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/31/2013 - Published: 10/14/2012 - Scaredy, Gutsy
In my sons eyes by TheRobinsNest reviews
Baby!Dick and Daddy!Bruce. Dick is Bruce's biological son. Shorts of Dick as a baby. Fluff.
Young Justice - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 13 - Words: 37,641 - Reviews: 244 - Favs: 325 - Follows: 355 - Updated: 7/25/2013 - Published: 1/8/2013 - Richard G./Nightwing, Bruce W./Batman
What If by The Bleached Inu reviews
There are many stories like this one, but this particular one has more than just one twist… what if Pitch got to Jack before the Guardians? What if the Guardians misread the Man in the Moon's message? And who are "Ice" and "Shadow"?
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,571 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 176 - Updated: 7/19/2013 - Published: 1/12/2013 - Jack Frost, Pitch
Harry Potter and the Parseltongue Legend by Obsession141 reviews
Harry discovers Parseltongue at a much younger age, and thus finds the magical world well before usual. Grey!Harry - Dark!Harry eventually. Powerful, slytherin, parentage, parseltongue, dark magic, Voldemort and more.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 49,960 - Reviews: 281 - Favs: 728 - Follows: 937 - Updated: 7/18/2013 - Published: 5/14/2012 - Harry P.
my soul broke with a different sound by baichan reviews
He remembers now and they want to know. Want to hear him regale a tale with adventure and fighting and overcoming fear. They expect magic and no shortage of mystery and a moment where hope is lost and all he can do is dream of better wishes. They also expect tragedy because there seems to be no shortage of loss when you fight the very core of Pitch Black.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,005 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/16/2013 - Jack Frost, Jack's sister - Complete
A Slytherin's Guide to Hugging Professor Snape by lastcrazyhorn reviews
A short guide for his Slytherins. Drabble.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 192 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 17 - Published: 7/3/2013 - Severus S. - Complete
Clashing with Legends by routavaurio reviews
After a chance encounter with a strange boy, S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers catch wind of a mysterious group called the Guardians. They might be a new threat, or they might be hidden allies, older than any of them had imagined. And the longer it takes to decide what to do about them, the worse everything gets...
Crossover - Avengers & Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 62,309 - Reviews: 516 - Favs: 769 - Follows: 525 - Updated: 6/30/2013 - Published: 4/19/2013 - Iron Man/Tony S., Jack Frost - Complete
A 'Saucy' Attitude A Smurfs Love Story! by Mintgirl109 reviews
A smurfette is found once again in the forest, with no memories except for a single song. And when a certain smurf takes an interest to her, will it change the smurfette from her horrible thieving past? P.S. An OC in this story belongs soley to frostforge44 ONLY! Check her out sometime!
Smurfs - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,340 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/28/2013 - Published: 7/6/2012
i am brOKen by Pozagee reviews
Grell Centric. Mentions of Sebastian/Grell and William/Grell. "Grell liked pain. He loved it. Therefore, when someone gave him the very pain he desired, he loved them. Therefore, he loved himself."
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,172 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/28/2013 - Grell S., Sebastian M., William S. - Complete
Nonsensical BlackIce by fangirl05 reviews
Fluffy, early morning BlackIce, because that's the best kind of BlackIce :) Rated for some innuendo towards the end.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,050 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/19/2013 - Pitch, Jack Frost - Complete
Wally's Wacky Riddles by DragonChild157 reviews
How does a young speedster get himself out of a bind? By asking a riddle of course! Now if only he can keep the team and the league from putting him in a straight jacket...
Young Justice - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,163 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 6/18/2013 - Published: 5/28/2013 - Wally W./Kid Flash
Bats In The Belfry by Black Dragon Queen reviews
SLASH! The one thing the Kryptonions never expected they'd have to deal with was the Bat Family's "Extended Family". Random Drabbles -Will be in all universes pretty much. BM:animated, SM:animated, JLA, and Teen Titans.
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,421 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 6/17/2013 - Published: 9/27/2010 - Bruce W./Batman, Clark K./Kal-El/Superman
Death Giver by tortuousworld reviews
Harry realizes just how many times the light has mistreated him and betrayed him. This features a dark Harry Potter seeking revenged against everyone that has wronged him in the past. There will be little to no romance in this. Oh and this is my first story so be a little nicer.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,480 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 6/12/2013 - Published: 4/29/2013
Find Yourself by Callie24 reviews
BatFlash! Flash helps out Batman and gets a lot more in return.
Justice League - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 8,044 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 166 - Updated: 6/6/2013 - Published: 8/6/2011 - Bruce W./Batman, Wally W./Flash
Malleus Daemonium by Mischivous Purple One reviews
Harry Potter stumbles upon a little black book while studying for the Third Task. What he finds will alter the events to come, some in more ways than others. What does our favorite butler have to do with it? Go find out, and please review.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 8 - Words: 27,936 - Reviews: 365 - Favs: 906 - Follows: 1,235 - Updated: 6/1/2013 - Published: 7/5/2011 - Harry P., Sebastian M.
Iced Hope by FeastofDeath reviews
E. Aster Bunnymund hid 'hope' and guarded it as the last Pooka. But what if he lost 'hope' during the Blizzard of '68? Is that why he holds such a grudge against Jack? And what happens when Bunny finds out that 'hope' is inside of Jack? Sacrifices must be made, but will duty get in the way of a budding friendship?
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,439 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 244 - Follows: 352 - Updated: 5/30/2013 - Published: 3/26/2013 - Bunnymund, Jack Frost
Descent by VioletFlame400 reviews
ONE-SHOT/DRABBLE. PITCHxJACK. DARK!JACK. WRITTEN FOR BLACKICE WEEK. After Pitch's descent into the darkness, and his defeat at the hands of the guardians, he is left alone to suffer in the shadows. Until he gets an unexpected visitor, someone who Pitch is more than familiar with, and yet, something seems different about him... (see inside for more)
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,801 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/28/2013 - Jack Frost, Pitch - Complete
Stockholm by DPRRluvJ13MM reviews
Even after becoming a Guardian, Jack still feels alone and unloved. The only other person who could possibly understand that kind of loneliness is the one that captured Jack and seeks to destroy him.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,081 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 5/27/2013 - Published: 4/6/2013 - Jack Frost, Pitch
Christmas with the Guardians! by redolivia reviews
Jack has spent the last 300 Christmas' alone. But now he is a guardian he can finally enjoy the day instead of dread it. But with this trickster around and friendships still new and forming, will it be the magical holiday Jack so desperately longs for? or a stressful headache for the whole group? (This summary is terrible. sooooo much harder to write than stories! sorry)
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,459 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 5/26/2013 - Published: 4/6/2013
Tails' New Invention by FallenxAngel321 reviews
Tails' had just finished his latest invention when Amy, Cream, and Rouge barge in on him. Things happened and now Tails has an unpredicted problem on his hands- the girls have switched minds! More specifically, they switched personalities. How will this event bring about new love? read preview plz sonxamyxshad triangle, knuxrouge, creamxtails
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 27,154 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 5/22/2013 - Published: 7/13/2012
Glimpses by LilyIsAwesomerThanYou reviews
When Harry is taken from the Dursleys by Child Protective Services, Snape is sent to adopt him. Mentions of abuse, but no details. NO SLASH. Now being translated in Spanish, French, and Russian. How cool is that!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 21 - Words: 48,376 - Reviews: 676 - Favs: 725 - Follows: 600 - Updated: 5/19/2013 - Published: 1/11/2013 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
he knows his way in the dark by baichan reviews
Jack, for a Guardian of Fun, why is your shadow so, so terrifying? - Drabble fic
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 296 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 6 - Published: 5/18/2013 - Jack Frost, Pitch - Complete
BatDaddy by Elyograg reviews
Everyone knows that Young Justice was Batman's team. What happens when the team sees him more that just a teacher and he becomes a father to them. New tittle.
Young Justice - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 10,473 - Reviews: 272 - Favs: 316 - Follows: 342 - Updated: 5/14/2013 - Published: 1/23/2012 - Bruce W./Batman, Conner K./Superboy
Chasing Draco by HowDracoGotHisGrooveBack reviews
Draco Malfoy is every suitor's nightmare. His brazen temper and absolute disregard for the personal safety of others has his father in despair. Enter Harry Potter. Based on Taming of the Shrew: An epic tale of Harry and Draco's crazy courtship complete with meddling fathers in law, reluctant fiances, annoying best friends and furniture missiles. Let the madness begin.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 49,783 - Reviews: 499 - Favs: 562 - Follows: 280 - Updated: 4/27/2013 - Published: 4/8/2013 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Fear's Place by Shadougelover14 reviews
Everyone deserves to be believed in; the Boogeyman is no exception. A series of mostly humorous one-shots centered around Jack and Pitch's relationship (NO SLASH)
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 15,972 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 4/20/2013 - Published: 3/19/2013 - Jack Frost, Pitch
Harry's a star, Muggle Style by Amber Akasha reviews
Harry might be famous in the Wizarding World, but it's going to be on his own terms.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 748 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 8 - Published: 4/13/2013 - Harry P. - Complete
Potter's Party by HowDracoGotHisGrooveBack reviews
Draco was not invited to Potter's Party, and he won't stand for it. Silly, fluffy one-shot. Beware of the feels!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,900 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 11 - Published: 4/11/2013 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Forgotten by LovelyLina94 reviews
After Pitch's defeat, Jack wonders what happened to him. Unable to contain his curiosity any longer, he returns to the Boogeyman's lair to search for him. Black Ice.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 773 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/8/2013 - Jack Frost, Pitch - Complete
Jack in the Green by Windlion reviews
What happens when Jack pisses off the wrong spring deity. Jack is no damsel, but he gets a knight in shining armor anyways. Pitch is well aware chivalry is dead, but he's nothing if not a relic of a bygone era.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,889 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/6/2013 - Jack Frost, Pitch - Complete
Boyfriends Are The Best Friends by Rambutans reviews
Wally and Dick decide it would be hilarious to troll the team (mostly Artemis) into thinking they are boyfriends. Then they maybe accidentally become actually boyfriends. Eventual Dick/Wally, but lets be real it's Dick/Wally the whole time.
Young Justice - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 26,577 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 239 - Follows: 345 - Updated: 4/3/2013 - Published: 11/12/2012 - Wally W./Kid Flash, Richard G./Nightwing
Small Steps by 091304 reviews
Jack breaks after years of isolation.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,181 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 188 - Follows: 290 - Updated: 4/2/2013 - Published: 3/4/2013 - Jack Frost
Back to the Beginning by MightyRAWR reviews
Galbatorix was dead, Ayra was queen, and Eragon and Saphira left for parts unknown to train the new generation of riders. But what if she wasn't queen and Eragon didn't have to leave? What if Eragon received another chance to start their relationship? Eragon and Saphira go back to the beginning and this time they know what they're doing.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,759 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 3/29/2013 - Published: 7/1/2012 - Eragon S., Arya
Crazed Child: The Story of Catherine Nosjack by Menacing Kitten reviews
"I'M NOT CRAZY! SH-SHE DIDN'T LOVE ME- NOT LIKE A MOTHER SHOULD! SHE CAN ROT IN H**!" Meet Catherine. A crazed, ten year old physcopath. Need I say more? (Yes, I do know that the name for the title is dumb. I made this at like, 2 AM. XD)
Animaniacs - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,088 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/14/2013
Wretched Monsters by Scarecrowqueen reviews
"Your memories, Pitch Black. I want them. The fact that you're going to bleed for them just makes it sweeter." Or, the one where Jack probably crosses a line avenging the wrongdoings to his lover.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,829 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/9/2013 - Jack Frost, Pitch - Complete
The Grey Area by Deco Pasta reviews
Jack keeps on encountering Pitch in his nightmares. This makes Jack begin to question what is evil, whether Pitch is really evil or not, and what Jack's feelings truly are towards the Nightmare King.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,805 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 3/8/2013 - Published: 1/4/2013 - Jack Frost, Pitch
Marching Band is by BlueExorcistLover reviews
Everyone has thought about it. Many have wrote it. I just HAD to do it. This is my Band's funny (But relatable.) Band Moments. Please Read and Review.
Marching Band - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 926 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/3/2013
Demons Don't Discriminate by Ravarx reviews
"What in the name of Satan were you doing in Russia?" Drabble. SebaCiel.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 282 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/19/2013 - Sebastian M., Ciel P. - Complete
Regrets by KiyoshiMichi reviews
Jack was feeling guilty, and had been since the fight with Pitch. After all, they really were the same, weren't they? [Not as depressing as it sounds - t'is humorous fluff]
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,310 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 18 - Published: 2/14/2013 - Pitch, Jack Frost - Complete
Cage of Bones by Queen of the Red Skittle reviews
Instead of letting him go, the Guardians capture Pitch. Jack finds himself drawn to their prisoner.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,573 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 17 - Published: 1/30/2013 - Pitch, Jack Frost - Complete
Note by Sylveonite reviews
It comes as a surprise to everyone Harry Potter manages to live for his fourth year. He comes to Hogwarts with hopes for a normal, peaceful year, but they were all crushed when he is forced into a dangerous wizarding tournament and everyone suddenly turns his back on him. He has little to hope for now, until he finds that odd black notebook. Dark!Harry, slight Dumbledore bashing.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Death Note - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Supernatural - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,623 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 1/22/2013 - Published: 1/16/2013 - Harry P.
Playing Games With Shadows by Destielixer reviews
At the HQ Jack finds himself chasing after a book titled 'Dating Tips 101', not far behind is the Nightmare King whom Jack finds is the one playing games with him. Pitch takes this game as a chance for him to reveal his feelings about Jack. Fluff. BlackIce.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,128 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/21/2013 - Jack Frost, Pitch - Complete
Halloween by FrostedHoodies reviews
Jack wants to celebrate Halloween but Pitch is not so excited about the holiday.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 533 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/21/2013 - Jack Frost, Pitch - Complete
Epic Mickey: The Fanfiction by Storyteller222 reviews
Mickey Mouse is thrown headfirst into a dark, twisted world of forgotten Disney creations. Armed with a magical paintbrush, and a gremlin named Gus, Mickey will have to fight against a terrible monster and a jealous half-brother to survive and get home.
Epic Mickey - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,602 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 1/20/2013 - Published: 3/14/2011 - Mickey M.
Cold and Dark by Jettara1 reviews
Fill for at What If kink. What if Jack was more injured after Pitch broke his staff and threw him in the ravine? He wouldn't be there to help the Guardians and make Jamie believe. Now Pitch has returned for him and there's no escaping. But maybe, just maybe, Pitch isn't as bad as he seems.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 17 - Words: 23,544 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 347 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 1/16/2013 - Published: 1/13/2013 - Jack Frost, Pitch - Complete
Fairy Fails by glittering wolf reviews
The Sonic crew has "agreed" to help put on a production of the classic fairy tale Snow White. Too bad its anything but. (This is kind of sort of a crack-fic.)
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 20,768 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/13/2013 - Published: 9/17/2012 - Complete
Losing Fear by RR-Roza-Robertson reviews
Jack believes that everyone can change if they have someone that believes in them. Jack believes, but does Pitch?
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,841 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/6/2013 - Pitch, Jack Frost - Complete
Revenge is Smurfy by Zinka17 reviews
Jokey's pranks have gotten out of hand and the other smurfs are really tired of them, so they secretly plot revenge against him. What kind of pranks will they pull? Read to find out!
Smurfs - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,520 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/4/2013 - Published: 2/20/2012 - Jokey
Stalkers Freya by EnglandBabe1997 reviews
A story based on my full length fic Stalkers the beginning is quite similar. Arthur follows Merlin and this time the Knights come too. No longer a one-shot xx Now continued!
Merlin - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,448 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 190 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 1/3/2013 - Published: 2/18/2012 - Merlin, Arthur - Complete
Pitch's Game by Xenon Z reviews
What if Pitch's whole plot against the guardians was just a prank? What if he invited Jack in on the joke? Mostly Crack, though does get serious.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,410 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 138 - Follows: 176 - Updated: 1/1/2013 - Published: 12/8/2012 - Jack Frost, Pitch
The Call by RosemarieCraig reviews
House gets a call from his father. John House's best friend has some mysterious symptoms, and our favourite misanthropic doctor is the only one who can save him. But how will a father and son such as the House's get along, and what mysteries will be revealed along the way? Bad summary, but you get the idea. Abuse Warning
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 10,853 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 1/1/2013 - Published: 8/7/2012 - G. House
Social Networking Encourages Stalkerish Tendencies by SecretForKeeps reviews
Arthur/Merlin Modern AU. In which Merlin is an adorable nerd and Arthur becomes a bit of an internet stalker. And everyone is on tumblr.
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 17,879 - Reviews: 199 - Favs: 685 - Follows: 167 - Updated: 12/25/2012 - Published: 10/8/2012 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Another Box of Every Flavor Beans by Dream Painter reviews
Harry comes to Snape's office to give him a Christmas gift. The wrapping paper had broomsticks and snitches scattered between trees and snowmen. How very predictable. Companion piece to A Box of Every Flavor Beans.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,088 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/24/2012 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
Cold & Dark by Rhia-of-Themyscira reviews
What if Jack had joined Pitch in his quest to be believed in?
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,242 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 12/23/2012 - Published: 11/29/2012 - Jack Frost, Pitch
Summer by Nesloga reviews
It's during the off season that things finally boil over. Bunny makes a discovery and Jack has had enough.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 807 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 265 - Follows: 57 - Published: 12/22/2012 - Bunnymund, Jack Frost - Complete
The Sickest Smurf Ever by Zinka17 reviews
Sickly has the Smurf Flu and is feeling worse than ever. While Papa Smurf is gone to get ingredients for a potion to cure him, ten different smurfs watch after him, but most of them don't pay that much attention to him or make him feel worse.
Smurfs - Rated: K - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,431 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/16/2012 - Published: 10/23/2011 - Sickly
Letters by Eglentyne reviews
Some feelings are easier aired in writing. Perhaps their efficacy is lost when spoken. Can an intimate exchange be more strongly felt through a letter than through an embrace? Sebastian and Ciel write to one another. Holiday-themed, sorta, not really. Rated T for complex emotional themes.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,692 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 10 - Published: 12/15/2012 - [Sebastian M., Ciel P.] - Complete
Darkened Ice by Saber Wing reviews
The Spirit of Winter. The Bringer of Death.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 626 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/14/2012 - Jack Frost - Complete
Unexpected News by The Emcee reviews
When something unexpected happens to Jack, Pitch goes and retrieves Sandy, as he's the Guardian who is most…uh…comfortable with the Nightmare King. After Sandy finds out what's going on, he persuades Jack and Pitch to tell the other Guardians, who still don't like Pitch and would rather see him burn. Can Pitch ever catch a break? PitchFrost. Slash.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,728 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 39 - Published: 12/12/2012 - Jack Frost, Pitch - Complete
A Balanced Mix (Jack Frost x Pitch) by mellythenerd reviews
Pitch is back, and he expects to stay with a new plan in mind. [A/N: I have been asked a few times if people could use this idea for illustrations, and the answer is ALWAYS YES! I simply ask that you give credit to this story and send me the link to it once you've finished. I'd love to see the pictures!]
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,625 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 27 - Published: 12/8/2012 - Jack Frost, Pitch - Complete
and death is frozen in my heart by baichan reviews
Pitch carries a scythe and Jack wonders who he thinks he is. Because as 'scary' as Pitch is, he is not death.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 646 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 16 - Published: 12/8/2012 - Jack Frost, Pitch - Complete
JACK FROST: User Guide and Manual by DarkBlaziken reviews
Congratulations! You have just purchased your very own JACK FROST Unit. This manual was written in order to allow you to make the most of your Unit's potentials, and it is highly recommended that you carefully peruse this before unpacking your Unit to avoid frostbites...Manual fic!
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,171 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 19 - Published: 12/5/2012 - Jack Frost - Complete
Nice to Meet You by The Emcee reviews
First impressions often form the basis of how we perceive others. For Pitch and Jack, that was no different. More PitchFrost drabbles. Prequel to Love Like This.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,780 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 17 - Published: 12/3/2012 - Jack Frost, Pitch - Complete
Some Things Never Change by Vickie1996 reviews
A storm has effected the Cave and the power is out. How can the gang, and a few mentors, find a way to pass the time. Will they use the oppurtunity to learn more about the mysterious Batman and his protege? No ship - includes Daddy Bats, Ace, Krypto!
Young Justice - Rated: K - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,969 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 188 - Updated: 10/23/2012 - Published: 6/23/2012 - Richard G./Nightwing, Bruce W./Batman
Reborn by whitetigerwolf reviews
Salazar Slytherin walked away from Hogwarts on a mission, leaving his love Helga Hufflepuff behind. Harry is in his fifth year of Hogwarts when he regains the memories of his past life as Salazar, along with the reborn Helga, Susan Bones.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,237 - Reviews: 405 - Favs: 1,295 - Follows: 1,548 - Updated: 10/21/2012 - Published: 2/17/2010 - Harry P., Susan B.
The Past and Present Where the World Collides by Pandesme reviews
Magic wasn't the only reason Merlin left Ealdor, Arthur wasn't the first person Merlin has ever been a servant to, and Will wasn't his only friend. After all magic isn't banned in Cenred's kingdom. What happens when his past finally catches up to him?
Merlin - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,122 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 180 - Updated: 10/17/2012 - Published: 12/6/2010 - Merlin, Arthur
Snow Bunny by ShiTiger reviews
When Bunnymund rescues a white pooka from Pitch's evil grasp, he gets more than he bargained for. Slash. (ROTG Shorts will return as a new fic, as "Snow Bunny" has too many upcoming chapters to be called a short)
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,791 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 128 - Published: 10/1/2012 - Jack Frost, Bunnymund
Blue Is The New Black by Digital Scratch reviews
Short stories of the Smurfs and their lives and relationships in the village. A bit more mature view on the children's series - read with an open mind! :D Several pairings.
Smurfs - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,994 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/19/2012 - Published: 9/11/2012
Meta Knight's Anger by neuron6 reviews
When Meta Knight is banned from official tournaments, chaos erupts. Bad things are happening, and nobody knows why or who's doing them... Probably K-plus, but just in case, T.
Super Smash Brothers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,810 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 9/18/2012 - Published: 6/4/2012 - Meta Knight, Master Hand
A Meeting with Freud and Disney by skyhighwriter reviews
When Hades goes to therapy with Dr. Sigmund Freud, hilarity will ensue.
Hercules - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,499 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/17/2012 - Hades - Complete
Talking by RedHood97 reviews
Batman is awesome. And scary. But still awesome. Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Justice League - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,109 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 5 - Published: 9/10/2012 - Bruce W./Batman - Complete
That Awkward Moment When by merlinandfreyaFTW reviews
A collection of all-dialogue, all the time 'that awkward moment' fics. E.g:That awkward moment when your magic hating best friend finds out you're a warlock...IN PROGRESS.
Merlin - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 21 - Words: 4,434 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 9/1/2012 - Published: 7/30/2012 - Arthur, Merlin
Pleasant Suprises by Troublesque reviews
It was one of those rare times where Clark could go hide from the rest of the world and be himself.
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,093 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/31/2012 - Clark K./Kal-El/Superman, Bruce W./Batman - Complete
Life Of A HighSchool Tailor by WonderlandIsAnIllusion reviews
This is a AU:High School and the Smurfs 100% percent human. This fanfic will mainly be in Tailor's Point Of View. Some names will remain the same such as Hefty, Tuffy, and Harmony while other names will change for example Vanity will be named Narcissus although his nickname shall be Vanity. Smurfette is named Juliet, Lazy is named Supine, and Weepy is named Lachrymose.
Smurfs - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,556 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/28/2012 - Tailor
Slender by FrankandJoe3 reviews
Dick is introduced to 'Slenderman'. BirdFlash fluff.
Young Justice - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,142 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 9 - Published: 8/27/2012 - Richard G./Nightwing, Wally W./Kid Flash - Complete
Misinterpreted by FrankandJoe3 reviews
The team decides to listen in when Wally agrees to help Dick with a 'little problem'. BirdFlash
Young Justice - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,833 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 12 - Published: 8/24/2012 - Richard G./Nightwing, Wally W./Kid Flash - Complete
MO's Wierd Day by Buckrocks reviews
My favorite part of the movie where Wall-E meets M-O. A One-Shot.
WALL-E - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 216 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Published: 8/1/2012 - M-O, WALL-E - Complete
Sealed with a Kiss by Robin Red R reviews
Dick is standing at the top of Wayne Tower, ready to jump, ready to fall. Ready to end his life… Wally is running faster than he's ever been, grabbing, catching. Can he make Dick see the sense in life again? High T rating. Slash: Kid Flash/Robin – Wally/Dick.
Young Justice - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,937 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 17 - Published: 7/30/2012 - [Wally W./Kid Flash, Richard G./Robin] - Complete
The Feral Smurf by Thirteen Sync reviews
This will be starring my fan-character, Feral Smurf. The Smurf Village is a peaceful place. It is home to Papa Smurf and a whole horde of little Smurflings of varying ages. But, what happens when one of the youngsters is different from the others? Will they accept her, or will she be witness to just how unsmurfy Smurflings can be? The prologue was hard to do. Forgive me. s
Smurfs - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,693 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 7/17/2012 - Published: 7/9/2012
Aww Jokey by Mynameiseverchanging reviews
No idea why I named it that, just needed a name... Jokey is feeling like nobody cares about him, just find out what happens... I have most of the chapters planned out and there will be a lot of cute & sentimental moments
Smurfs - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,487 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/6/2012 - Published: 9/30/2011 - Jokey
Games by Walker'sLampshade reviews
Robin wants to play a game with Kid Flash. Silly, fluffy, adorable. *Birthday Present for my fwendd*
Young Justice - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,909 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 9 - Published: 6/27/2012 - Wally W./Kid Flash, Richard G./Nightwing
So You're Being Pursued by Batman by sorahart reviews
You know that moment when you're being relentlessly pursued by Batman, and you just wish that someone was there to help you? Now, there's the "So You're Pursued By Batman" survival guide, written by none other than Wally West!
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,687 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 9 - Published: 6/17/2012 - Bruce W./Batman, Wally W./Flash - Complete
Witch by a Contract by GoldenHeart333 reviews
Maka has never been outside her room, but when her step-mom Arachne forces her to sign a weird and suspicious contract making her a witch among other things, go to school, and make friends; Maka is suspicious. Will she save herself? Or will she sacrifice herself for her true love and friends? Maka x ?
Soul Eater - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,245 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 6/14/2012 - Published: 1/1/2012 - Maka A.
The Secret of Severus Snape, Slytherin by Budgie4 reviews
This is my version of the accident of the Shrieking Shack, and what follows. What if James Potter didn't arrive in time? What if Severus was prepared to face a werewolf? What if Dumbledore is forced to give justice? Lives are changed, and with them, Fate.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,584 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 6/14/2012 - Published: 1/10/2010 - Severus S.
Bad Team! by BlatantBookworm reviews
It started as a way to get Robin to stop vanishing during missions. Then Robin decided to get payback on Wally. Before they knew it, each of the team had a flaw that was trying to be fixed with the power of spray bottles.
Young Justice - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 20,032 - Reviews: 218 - Favs: 380 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 6/11/2012 - Published: 4/12/2012 - Wally W./Kid Flash, Richard G./Robin - Complete
Why Wally and Robin Are Boyfriends by whatweaponsicanfind reviews
If Artemis didn't know any better, she'd think they were lovers. Sorta fluffy, sorta Fangirl!Artemis. Because I lurve her.
Young Justice - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,673 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 284 - Follows: 32 - Published: 5/21/2012 - Richard G./Nightwing, Wally W./Kid Flash - Complete
I'm Sorry! by lastcrazyhorn reviews
Little Harry was rescued from the Dursleys by his Daddy, but not all of their lessons are easily forgotten. Entry in the P&S 2012 Prompt Fest. Prompts: It slipped from his grasp and shattered, Fight or flight. Is also a child fic, w/ adoption & self harm
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,404 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 271 - Follows: 42 - Published: 5/12/2012 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
Snowflakes's Adventure by Southparkmilkshake reviews
This is a random story about a dog and 4 kittens. also, SMURFS! XD
Smurfs - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,057 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/9/2012 - Published: 4/13/2012 - Jokey, Scaredy
A Matter of Trust by psychobabblers reviews
Clark and Bruce take a moment for themselves after a difficult battle.
Justice League - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 423 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 32 - Published: 4/23/2012 - Bruce W./Batman, Clark K./Kal-El/Superman - Complete
Arcs of Love by Envious Yet reviews
100 drabbles, centered on Wally with BatFlash slipped in there. Okay, so a lot of BatFlash in there. Bear with me.
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 30,146 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 4/14/2012 - Published: 8/18/2011 - Wally W./Flash, Bruce W./Batman
Sonic High School by Alyssacookie reviews
As GUN agents, the Sonic Team goes to highschool for the first time. -Sonamy, Knouge, Crails, Silvaze, Shadikal, Jave. DISCONTINUED
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 32,281 - Reviews: 342 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 4/11/2012 - Published: 8/13/2009
SCARED by SmurfyFriend reviews
Scaredy smurf has been scared all his life... but why is he so scared of Traveler smurf? Smurfette's determined to find out! oneshot. WARNING: MATURE CONTENT. CONTAINS SLASH AND GENERALLY UNSMURFY SITUATIONS.
Smurfs - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,571 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/27/2012 - Scaredy, Hefty - Complete
31 Awkward Situations by Stupidmuse hatesme reviews
31 drabbles for the month of May. Harry has become a little obsessed with a certain Potions Master...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 21,995 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 150 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 3/17/2012 - Published: 5/1/2010 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
A Few Early Morning Worries and Breakfast by 96 Hubbles reviews
Gwaine ponders a few worrying observations while on watch one morning. Missing scene for "Aithusa".
Merlin - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,498 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 225 - Follows: 30 - Published: 3/7/2012 - Gwaine, Merlin - Complete
Modus Vivendi by Saucery reviews
Never play Truth or Dare with a Potter. Just. Don't.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,090 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 97 - Published: 2/24/2012 - Sirius B., Severus S.
First day of school by Southparkmilkshake reviews
I was bored at school, and I thought this: What if smurfs went to school? So... Enjoy!XD
Smurfs - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 936 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 2/21/2012 - Published: 2/17/2012
The Master of Death by LoliBat reviews
Gen. "The Death Note? I have no need for it". Ryuuk drops his Death Note in front of the Master of Death. He may just regret doing so.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Death Note - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,573 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 632 - Follows: 138 - Published: 2/21/2012 - Harry P., Ryuk - Complete
Of Lace and Pleasure Slaves by psychobabblers reviews
Superman and Batman hit a snag on what was supposed to be a simple mission before Valentine's Day. A snag of the brainwashing variety. Or, the one where Bruce is brainwashed into believing that he's Kal's pleasure slave.
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,258 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 2/20/2012 - Published: 2/16/2012 - Bruce W./Batman, Clark K./Kal-El/Superman - Complete
Battle of the songs by Southparkmilkshake reviews
OK title might change this is my first story so... No flames. BTW I made up DJ smurf, i think he's only mentioned once. Enjoy! XD
Smurfs - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 400 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/16/2012 - Jokey, Hefty
Peach Likes Crack Pairings by Soar318 reviews
Peach decides to scar everybody's mind during breakfast! Rated T for crack pairings. Note: No offense for anybody offended! Rated T for weird pairings.
Super Smash Brothers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,531 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/14/2012 - Peach - Complete
A Symbol of My Undying Affection by ObscureEnough reviews
It was a work of art, utter genius, even. Written for the Severus *sighs* Anti-Valentines Day 2012 Ficathon. Slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 756 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 13 - Published: 2/14/2012 - Remus L., Severus S. - Complete
Strawberry Kisses by Kitty Gets Loose reviews
Ciel asks for strawberries for tea - in the dead of winter. Sebastian delivers, and delivers, and delivers. The result is sure to be trouble. Oneshot.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,223 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 12 - Published: 1/30/2012 - Sebastian M., Ciel P. - Complete
Kid by evansentranced reviews
A Potion's "accident" turns Harry into an eight year old, and Draco Malfoy intends to kidnap him. But Harry's a passive-aggressive, revenge-obsessed little bastard. Maybe Draco will wait on that whole Dark Lord thing. POVDraco, pretty AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 19,867 - Reviews: 299 - Favs: 1,458 - Follows: 647 - Updated: 1/21/2012 - Published: 8/8/2010 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Sons of the Bat by Gotham's Siren reviews
A letter arrives that changes Bruce's life in a way he never would have suspected. How will he raise his sons without the Justice League finding out about them? And now that he already has two sons, will he adopt Dick?
Crossover - Justice League & Young Justice - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,053 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 1/16/2012 - Published: 1/3/2012 - Bruce W./Batman, Richard G./Nightwing
Meta Knight's Fanfiction Life by Nik Knight reviews
How do they put up with each other? One-shot about Sir Meta Knight and a Fanfiction author...For Meta-If...and Flamefox2. Rated K
Kirby - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 443 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/8/2012 - Meta-Knight - Complete
Gangland by Bloody Fox reviews
Harry was exactly what Petunia and Vernon had said, a criminal. Vastly AU. M for language. Crack-ish
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 24,244 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 661 - Follows: 650 - Updated: 1/5/2012 - Published: 2/21/2011 - Harry P.
Time Will Tell by starlite-decay reviews
Lex Luthor has created yet another diabolical device. It seems that Batman is going to be stuck with the Flash for quite a while... eventual BatFlash. DCAU, Ongoing.
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,851 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 1/4/2012 - Published: 6/3/2011 - Wally W./Flash, Bruce W./Batman
The Lesson by Crowlows19 reviews
During a Occlumency lesson Severus Snape bites off more than he can chew. Instead of being blocked out, he's dragged in and trapped in the depths of Potter's mind. For Ficmas in July. One-Shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,416 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 18 - Published: 12/31/2011 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
The Doctor's Son by Sociopathic-Timelord reviews
Based off a Kink Meme prompt where House is Sherlock's father. I suck at summaries, but I would love if you give it a read and let me know what you think .
Crossover - House, M.D. & Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 988 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 219 - Updated: 12/29/2011 - Published: 12/21/2011 - G. House, Sherlock H.
Liar by Shini02 reviews
Drabble. Grouchy hates a lot of things, but she isn't one of them. GrouchyxSmurfette.
Smurfs - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 228 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/27/2011 - Grouchy, Smurfette - Complete
Human Habits by Doll of the Devil reviews
Ciel Phantomhive had the nasty habit of biting his lip. Sebastian/Ciel
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 370 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/14/2011 - [Ciel P., Sebastian M.] - Complete
Smurfs by CriesofCapricorn reviews
Somewhere around the series finale, Spike considers how much Angel and his friends are like the Smurfs, including himself. - And me? I'm Greedy Smurf. Do I look it?
Angel - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,357 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 12/11/2011 - Spike - Complete
Slytherin! by Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog reviews
"Are you sure?" said the small voice. "Well, if you're sure – better be SLYTHERIN!" - In which Harry is sorted into Slytherin instead, learns the hard way that good doesn't always come easily, and really, he should have taken the damn hand -eventual HP/DM
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 49,043 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 11/24/2011 - Published: 4/2/2011 - Harry P., Draco M.
An Explanation of Thanksgiving by Soar318 reviews
Meta Knight explains to Fumu why we celebrate Thanksgiving, using someone from SSBB's explanation. Happy early Thanksgiving!
Kirby - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 343 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/19/2011 - Fumu/Tiff, Meta-Knight - Complete
Pillows and Business Meetings by Gotham's Siren reviews
A short series of one-shots concerning Batman and Robin's 'Daddy-Bat' moments.
Crossover - Justice League & Young Justice - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,188 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 222 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 11/19/2011 - Published: 8/5/2011 - Bruce W./Batman, Richard G./Nightwing
Wally's Sick by Marlene Fishe reviews
Um... Wally's Sick! Eventual Batflash, Wally's sick! This is funny for me.
Crossover - Batman & Flash - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,493 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 20 - Published: 9/30/2011 - Bruce W./Batman
Simply Obvious by Just Another Fanfiction Nerd reviews
You know the story, team gets tickets for the circus and suddenly Robin's past is out in the open. Well here is a story that punches through all of those stories loopholes. Because honestly, I see a perfectly good reason to avoid the circus. Clowns.
Young Justice - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,027 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 12 - Published: 9/26/2011 - Richard G./Nightwing, Wally W./Kid Flash - Complete
A Snake In The Lions Den by drowningmysorrow reviews
Harry was quite sure that he would have looked better in silver and green. Dark!Harry Smart!Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,143 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 9/25/2011 - Published: 9/1/2011 - Harry P.
Harveste Addams and the Order of the Phoenix by kyaru-chan reviews
There are three roads a growing witch or wizard can take. The first two are well-trodden. But this year, the world better get ready, because when the dark moon rises, the third path comes alive.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Addams Family - Rated: M - English - Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 88,703 - Reviews: 1091 - Favs: 1,961 - Follows: 1,291 - Updated: 9/4/2011 - Published: 12/5/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
REVENGE OF THE TEDDY BEAR by OwlheadAthena reviews
One-shot. Continuation of Chapter Two of the story 'OF Flying Robins'. Read and learn that when you make Robin sad... not only do you have to deal with Daddy!Bats, but also Protectivevbro!Roy and Wally :3 Rating only do to one swear in the author's notes.
Young Justice - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,487 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 26 - Published: 8/28/2011 - Clark K./Superman, Richard G./Nightwing - Complete
Seeing Red by Cold-Creature reviews
Batman isn't sure what to make of Flash's behaviour. Ever since Diana asked him out, the red-clad hero has been… 'off'. BatFlash - Slash - Scribble - One-Shot!
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,385 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 12 - Published: 8/24/2011 - Bruce W./Batman, Wally W./Flash - Complete
The Batfamily by Haruhaze reviews
Batman went on a mission. And who will look after his child...ren? The Justice League and Young Justice, that is.
Young Justice - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,007 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 195 - Follows: 158 - Published: 8/18/2011 - Richard G./Nightwing
Daddy? by Gotham's Siren reviews
The Original Seven meet Batman's sons. All of them. How will Batman keep his children in line while trying to listen to Clark drone on during a meeting? Crack-fic!
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 778 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 179 - Follows: 30 - Published: 8/13/2011 - Bruce W./Batman, Clark K./Kal-El/Superman - Complete
Merlin, Is That a Cat? by ypput reviews
"Merlin... Is that a cat?" Arthur asked as Merlin deposited the tabby on Arthur's table. I'm not entirely sure what to say about this other than that somehow I've made a series of drabbles about Gwaine getting turned into a cat...
Merlin - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 11 - Words: 1,419 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 8/10/2011 - Published: 7/6/2011 - Gwaine, Merlin
Sidekicks by The Truth's Lie reviews
Sherlock Holmes and Gregory House meet. Pointless drabble.
Crossover - House, M.D. & Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 203 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 14 - Published: 7/30/2011 - G. House, Sherlock H. - Complete
Will Work for Souls by Morbidly Obscure reviews
Ciel Phantomhive: World's Laziest Contract Demon.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 503 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/24/2011 - Ciel P., Sebastian M. - Complete
The Devil's Story by Faust VII reviews
Dumbledore had been correct. Love was the greatest weapon. It had set him free after all. Oneshot. Darkish.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,789 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 421 - Follows: 70 - Published: 7/8/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
Contracts by Bloody Fox reviews
The Order never realized how far Harry was willing to go to secure his freedom. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,871 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 300 - Follows: 44 - Published: 7/1/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
Gwaine's Reveal by XxWanderlustxX reviews
...In which Gwaine gets tackled, Uther is confused and Arthur decides Camelot is in dire need of extensive background checks. Pure silliness...
Merlin - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 918 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 10 - Published: 6/29/2011 - Gwaine, Merlin - Complete
Behind The Smile by NobodiesBuisness reviews
written for a prompt on yj anon meme. Artemis calls wally out on his excessive eating habits, he takes this hard leaving the team confused. triggers: verbal child abuse and neglect
Young Justice - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,294 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 6/28/2011 - Published: 6/25/2011 - Wally W./Kid Flash
Martyr by theotherthompson reviews
One shot. AU-ish. The Wizarding World expected a martyr. They wouldn't get one.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 578 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/28/2011 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
The Past Can Hurt by Gotham's Siren reviews
Batman's different selves begin to take over, leaving Superman, Wonder Woman, and The Flash to travel deep into Batman's mind and unlock what makes the Bat tick.
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,616 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 6/17/2011 - Published: 3/7/2011 - Bruce W./Batman, Clark K./Kal-El/Superman
Why Batman Never Gets Hurt by Dragonrider7 reviews
Anyone ever wonder why Batman never gets hurt and why he doesn't have any scars? Well here's my take on it. Just a little question me and my freind rambled on for a bit in school but it's still good!
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,258 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 6/6/2011 - Published: 3/7/2009 - Bruce W./Batman
The Last Will and Testament of Lily Evans Potter by chrmisha reviews
Petunia Dursley finds a previously unknown copy of Lily's will. She promptly abandons her burdensome nephew on the doorstep of her childhood neighbour, aka, Severus Snape. I do not own Harry Potter or make any money from these stories.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 22 - Words: 38,516 - Reviews: 752 - Favs: 1,705 - Follows: 935 - Updated: 5/30/2011 - Published: 5/11/2011 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
Hot Lava by Ali-Th3-Ch3shir3-Kat reviews
"We should play hot lava." Robin stared at his best friend with a look of confusion, the other doing the same. "What?" The speedster sighed, sitting up straighter in his chair. "We should play hot lava. Y'know, the game where the floor is lava-" ONE
Young Justice - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,666 - Reviews: 181 - Favs: 596 - Follows: 63 - Published: 5/20/2011 - Complete
Letters to Queen Clarion by FluffyFluff reviews
Queen Clarion begind to find unusual letters that are signed "the animal talent fairies" but she has her doubts about the real writer of the letters, with good reason.
Tinkerbell - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,534 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/14/2011 - Vidia, Queen Clarion - Complete
Your Tempting Labyrinth by d r a m a t i s . e c h o reviews
"I have taken a considerable interest in you, bocchan," The butler continued as he interrupted the boy. Lifting a free hand, while his other arm cradled the small child with ease, he began to stroke the back of Ciel's head. "I've been watching you." / AU
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 31,866 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 318 - Follows: 334 - Updated: 5/14/2011 - Published: 10/25/2010 - Ciel P., Sebastian M.
Once Upon a Time by VulpineSnow reviews
Songfic... kinda... Slappy goes into reminiscence over her biggest secret.
Animaniacs - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,500 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Published: 5/7/2011 - Slappy - Complete
Taking by sheetamoon reviews
They should have learned, But they just had to do it all over again. This time things would be different. AU blood, gore. Oneshot
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 580 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 14 - Published: 4/26/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
A Changed Man by jessx08 reviews
What if Severus Snape realised his mistake before he blundered further into Death Eaterhood ? What if he realised where he was going wrong ? Things could be much more different than he would ever have believed.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 44,661 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 95 - Updated: 4/25/2011 - Published: 1/12/2011 - Severus S., Lily Evans P.
Thirty Ways to Annoy King Uther Pendragon & Co by Kitty O reviews
A guide from the expert. See, I know it's been done, but we needed one for those of us who don't like slash. Rating is for some minor suggestive comments. Mentions Arwen, ArMor, U/Y, Mergana... Basically all and anti-slash, mostly anti-Merthur/Arlin
Merlin - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,108 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 4/23/2011 - Published: 2/3/2011 - Uther - Complete
Operation Chaos Done Right by Star Bear reviews
Having lost everything the seventh year class decides to go back in time and do it right. This is going to require lots of planning though, because they don't want to be bored by the same time line now do they?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,106 - Reviews: 371 - Favs: 969 - Follows: 1,187 - Updated: 4/12/2011 - Published: 9/30/2008 - Harry P.
Close the Cupboard Door by echoing noise reviews
Everyone's got skeletons, hidden away somewhere.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 195 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/8/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
Love thy Butler, Love thy Master by F-M Fan reviews
A collection of oneshots, short stories, and drabbles revolving around Alois, Ciel, Claude, and Sebastian.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 12,862 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 4/5/2011 - Published: 7/6/2010 - Ciel P., Alois T. - Complete
Henbane Addams by Pinnacle of Madness reviews
Blood calls to blood. Harry Potter is gone, snatched away from the doorstep in the confusion and power of Halloween night. Henbane Addams is born, and like the Family, he will gladly feast on those who would subdue him. Hogwarts won't be expecting this.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Addams Family - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,140 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 498 - Follows: 816 - Updated: 3/31/2011 - Published: 2/22/2011 - Harry P.
Hypothetical Discussion by LilacSky128 reviews
After a mysterious sorcerer saves Camelot, Arthur is pretty sure he knows who it is. He and Merlin have a discussion about it. But it's purely hypothetical. Really. It is.
Merlin - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,261 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 498 - Follows: 46 - Published: 3/19/2011 - Arthur, Merlin - Complete
Go Ask Your Mother AKA The Batmommy by Meicdon13 reviews
Superman tells Superboy to ask Batman for help instead of asking him. Superboy follows his advice. Batman is surprisingly accommodative.
Young Justice - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,932 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 20 - Published: 3/9/2011 - Bruce W./Batman, Conner K./Superboy - Complete
Isolationist Theory by Neko-chan -Silvered Tongue reviews
The boy who cried wolf: You know, there's only so much that a boy hero can take. After becoming the wizarding world's scapegoat during the summer after the Triwizard Tournament, Harry decides that enough is enough—and flips Britain the bird. He transfers.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,772 - Reviews: 704 - Favs: 1,759 - Follows: 2,333 - Updated: 3/1/2011 - Published: 2/18/2011 - Harry P.
Orphans: a Prequel For the Bone Cousins by Promissa Fidel reviews
This is a day in the life of three orphan bones in Boneville who will later save the Vally from the forces of evil. For now though, they're just trying to survive another day! R&R! ;
Bone - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,886 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/21/2011 - Complete
Fireflies by Cryssy-miu reviews
When a nightmare frightens Kirby from sleep, he bumps into his friend, and gets a bit of insight about his guardian, and even nature. R&R Hopeless family/friend fluff. Non slash
Kirby - Rated: K - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,542 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/7/2011 - Complete
Something Grim This Way Comes by Ruskbyte reviews
Harry is about to start his first year at Hogwarts. With him comes his cynical, somewhat unofficial, not to mention bent on world domination girlfriend Mandy. And they're also bringing their mutual best friend i.e.: indentured servant the Grim Reaper.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 68,629 - Reviews: 885 - Favs: 2,635 - Follows: 1,734 - Updated: 1/1/2011 - Published: 11/18/2005 - Harry P., Mandy
A Not So Peaceful Night by caesara reviews
Harry has only been at Hogwarts for 3 days and he may already be in trouble. When Snape finds him on his hands and knees, feeling around on the hallway floor at midnight, he knows that his chance of having a peaceful night are over. one-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,949 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 227 - Follows: 46 - Published: 12/29/2010 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
The LipLock Jinx by Cassis Luna reviews
It's a jinx that renders the victim mute, unless he/she serves the purpose of the jinx and kisses the person that they desire. It's just Harry's luck that he's in love with Draco. HPDM, oneshot, eighth year.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 21,436 - Reviews: 417 - Favs: 2,759 - Follows: 216 - Published: 12/16/2010 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
I am a part timer, remember? by Wingzero87 reviews
AU - The reason Batman is a part timer - I suck at summeries
Justice League - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,777 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 11/25/2010 - Published: 3/26/2010 - Bruce W./Batman, Diana of Themyscira/Wonder Woman
Fighting Back by Miarix reviews
A six year old Harry encounters Lord Voldemort in his hour of despair. The Wizarding World will never be the same. No Slash. Features a Sarcastic Harry, cause I love him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 32 - Words: 70,294 - Reviews: 1003 - Favs: 1,637 - Follows: 1,811 - Updated: 11/24/2010 - Published: 6/8/2010 - Harry P., Voldemort
Presenting The Hades Show! by GillyRose reviews
Disney's Hades has his own talk show on the Herc TV series, so why not expand the idea and have him interview famous people from Greek mythology? Presenting The Hades Show... starring Echo and Narcissus!
Hercules - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,812 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/14/2010 - Hades, Pain - Complete
Harveste Addams and the Goblet of Fire by kyaru-chan reviews
Let's have a little FUN this year, shall we?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Addams Family - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 36,416 - Reviews: 557 - Favs: 1,809 - Follows: 486 - Updated: 10/2/2010 - Published: 9/27/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
Harveste Addams and the Prisoner of Azkaban by kyaru-chan reviews
A madman has escaped from prison? Are you sure you aren't talking about Uncle Fester?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Addams Family - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 18,026 - Reviews: 200 - Favs: 1,713 - Follows: 311 - Updated: 9/26/2010 - Published: 9/24/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
Bitter Laughter by hewhoistomriddle reviews
Cleaning up and reposting. The dark!twin!Harry story that everyone feels they need to have their own version of.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 25 - Words: 71,043 - Reviews: 1589 - Favs: 1,488 - Follows: 1,796 - Updated: 9/24/2010 - Published: 9/21/2006 - Harry P.
Harveste Addams and the Chamber of Secrets by kyaru-chan reviews
Parselmouths, the Chamber and Lockhart. Well, well, well...
Crossover - Harry Potter & Addams Family - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,236 - Reviews: 239 - Favs: 1,836 - Follows: 254 - Published: 9/23/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
Harveste Addams and the Sorceror's Stone by kyaru-chan reviews
A little death can change so much. Delightful, isn't it?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Addams Family - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,370 - Reviews: 244 - Favs: 2,006 - Follows: 302 - Published: 9/22/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
Harveste by kyaru-chan reviews
He's done it. He's just five years old, but he's finally done it. The Dursleys are gone. And now he's with a new family who seems just as twisted as he is. How strange.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Addams Family - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,160 - Reviews: 391 - Favs: 2,583 - Follows: 736 - Published: 9/21/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
I'm Sorry by Fallenangel700 reviews
Harry aplogizes abusedharry wrong bwl
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 142 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/24/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
An Idle Mind Is The Devil's Playground by night flame miko reviews
A bored Harry Potter is never a good thing. Dumbledore told him he couldn't write to friends, so what about enemies? Watch as because of this, things change and truths come to 'light' or 'dark' as the case may be . warning: Slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 33,289 - Reviews: 2552 - Favs: 3,443 - Follows: 3,980 - Updated: 7/16/2010 - Published: 1/14/2009 - Harry P., Voldemort
I Finally have you, Ciel Phantomhive by guillotineghost reviews
What if Alois had snatched the box away from Sebastian in episode 1? Alois x Ciel smut
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 486 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 94 - Published: 7/14/2010 - Alois T., Ciel P.
Rocks at Your Window by VivaJuanita reviews
"Do you promise to stop throwing rocks at my window?" "No."
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 385 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 18 - Published: 6/22/2010 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Poison Pen by GenkaiFan reviews
Harry has had enough of seeing his reputation shredded in the Daily Prophet and decides to do something about it. Only he decides to embrace his Slytherin side to rectify matters.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 74,506 - Reviews: 7611 - Favs: 12,558 - Follows: 5,718 - Updated: 6/21/2010 - Published: 12/3/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
Rated M for Maka by Amber Lehcar reviews
It's not really rated M. Soul constantly says Maka's not attractive. A bet they make may change his mind.
Soul Eater - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,083 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 11 - Published: 4/19/2010 - Maka A., Soul Eater - Complete
Tales of Smurflinghood by Livinginthesunlight reviews
My version of the childhoods of the smurfs you know and love.
Smurfs - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,345 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 8 - Published: 4/11/2010
Its so cold by awesomenerd95 reviews
Set after daddys boy. Houses parents resent visit stirs up old memories and feelings. What happens when the team and Wilson dicover secrets from his past, will he let them in? warning for abuse/ no ships yet...
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,970 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 3/23/2010 - Published: 2/6/2010 - G. House
Feelings by influenceONchildren reviews
Hey, Soul? ...I love you. CAUTION: Fluff ahead. Read if you dare.
Soul Eater - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,104 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/7/2010 - Soul Eater, Maka A. - Complete
Letters to Father Christmas by Meltha reviews
Pretend for a moment that in the world of Harry Potter, Father Christmas is real. Here are letters some of the wizarding world might write to the jolly old elf.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 5,075 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 3/7/2010 - Published: 2/18/2010 - Complete
Expectations by Potterworm reviews
People often become who others expect them to be. When Harry was sorted into Slytherin, he realized he was alone, friendless, and apparently meant to be evil.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,981 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 48 - Published: 3/6/2010 - Complete
The Dark Knight by LeftandLost reviews
The Dark Knight's thoughts as he watches over the Justice League, silently judging-forever an outsider. Can he ever truly be a part of their team? Or is he fated to a world of self-indulgent solitude?
Justice League - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 426 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/20/2010 - Bruce W./Batman
Career Counseling by Meltha reviews
Every Head of House has to counsel his or her charges about their future outside of Hogwarts. Some of those conversations prove to be quite memorabe.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,854 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 2/10/2010 - Published: 2/2/2010 - Minerva M., Severus S. - Complete
CinderWhattheHell a by Meltha reviews
During the trio’s wanderings in book seven, Ron gets Hermione to explain that disease-sounding Muggle fairy tale. Very mildly Ron-Hermione with slight Harry-Ginny undertones.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,753 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 2/3/2010 - Published: 8/20/2008 - Hermione G. - Complete
The Scream by krachum reviews
Harry dies by scream. One-shot
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 466 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/2/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
What Would Slytherin Harry Do? by Big D on a Diet reviews
An ongoing series of one shot stories exploring how Slytherin!Harry would have handled key moments from the books. Events will appear out of order, so don't be surprised if it jumps around. Small but important edit made to Chapter Five
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 44,417 - Reviews: 529 - Favs: 2,239 - Follows: 1,782 - Updated: 1/21/2010 - Published: 5/27/2007 - Harry P.
Revenge is Sweet by Pandora the Damned reviews
Someone draws on Lynn's face while she was asleep, and now she's furious. Who did it? Find out! T for swearing.
Kirby - Rated: T - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,876 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 12 - Published: 1/19/2010 - Complete
Justice High by skittlesrock1993 reviews
A story about the Justice League in high school from my point of view...interesting stuff if you ask me. Anyway if you like this kind of stuff then go ahead and click on it...I DARE YOU! Muahahahahaha. Click.
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,219 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 1/15/2010 - Published: 4/26/2009
Truth or Dare by Everybody Lies1 reviews
The team is bored so they play truth or dare.House bets Wilson two hundred dollars that he will win.But what started out as a fun game gets carried away.This has Huddy in it and takes place before Kutner dies but after Amber dies. Please read and review.
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,327 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 1/4/2010 - Published: 12/15/2009 - G. House
Kirby Right Back at Ya! Remix by Pandora the Damned reviews
You know how some of the lines the characters say in the dub make you want to hit that character in the head with a frying pan? If you agree, you're going to like this!
Kirby - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 35,869 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 12/30/2009 - Published: 11/28/2008
Kiss the Boy by Maiden of the Moon reviews
Sha la la la la la, ain't that sad? It makes the fangirls mad that he won't kiss the boy. -Parody lyrics to 'Kiss the Girl.' SebxCiel, spoilers through the end of the anime. NOW WITH A REPRISAL!-
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 772 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 240 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 11/28/2009 - Published: 5/19/2009 - Sebastian M., Ciel P. - Complete
To Dance by DrainBamage reviews
As the Yule Ball approaches, Harry is confronted with some interesting problems, who to go with, dancing lessons, an overly affectionate Hufflepuff, and since when did Malfoy start acting so strange?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 57,079 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 174 - Updated: 11/15/2009 - Published: 6/27/2009 - Harry P., Draco M.
Jokes On You by spotty-bee reviews
Jokey never lived in the village all his life, so where was he before? How dose his pranking past mix in with his present, and speaking of which why is his 'Box Bomb' prank his favorite? Take a peek and find out. Oneshot.
Smurfs - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,768 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/23/2009 - Jokey - Complete
The Real Heir of Slytherin by Lucillia reviews
Two descendants of Salazar Slytherin get into a written argument over ownership of the contents of the Chamber of Secrets during Harry's second year.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,054 - Reviews: 222 - Favs: 1,071 - Follows: 226 - Updated: 10/5/2009 - Published: 7/3/2009 - Tom R. Jr., Harry P. - Complete
Running In Place by Fuzzy Wolf reviews
Wally knows it's only a matter of time until Bruce realizes its Wally that he's been looking for all along. Warning BatFlash, Slash, Yaoi. Slight anti Batman/Wonder Woman. T for language.
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,277 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 7 - Published: 10/4/2009 - Bruce W./Batman, Wally W./Flash - Complete
A Perfect Grace by Blaithin-mae reviews
Harry had asked the devil for the power to defeat Voldermort and the devil asked for his heart in return. There had been laughter in his dreams ever since. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,919 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 335 - Follows: 58 - Published: 9/3/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
Eight by Lily Elizabeth Snape reviews
Eight year old Harry was cursed with rotten guardians. Snape is a wizard with an unusually cold disposition, which he has for a reason. Can Severus give the childhood he was never privileged enough to have to the little one?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 21 - Words: 41,399 - Reviews: 2193 - Favs: 2,014 - Follows: 1,844 - Updated: 8/12/2009 - Published: 8/8/2006 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Stalking Harry Potter by Marauders-And-Lily-I-Love reviews
Draco Malfoy was NOT a stalker. In fact, the word 'stalking' did not even appear in his Highly Extensive Dictionary of Pureblood Words." When Draco is accused of stalking a certain someone, what on earth is the poor Slytherin to do? HPDM SLASH!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,925 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 216 - Follows: 14 - Published: 8/2/2009 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Roadkill by Piper Julian reviews
Voldemort avoided death as a spirit for 13 years. Strangely, he couldn't avoid a bus. One Shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,366 - Reviews: 343 - Favs: 991 - Follows: 107 - Published: 7/26/2009 - Voldemort, Stan S. - Complete
The Significance of Teddy Bears and Sunrise by HpFanficFan reviews
COMPLETE. Even the darkest nights give way to sunrise. While its dark, teddy bears keep great company, though it's nothing compared to the real thing. DMHP Slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,997 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 7/24/2009 - Published: 7/15/2009 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Hansel and GreatNowI'mHungryetel by Meltha reviews
During the horcrux hunt in book seven, the trio passes the time by having Hermione tell the Muggle fairytale Hansel and Gretel. Ninth in a series, though each can stand alone.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,028 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 12 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Hermione G., Ron W. - Complete
Masters of Death by Ruskbyte reviews
Harry Potter and Amanda Maxwell, his girlfriend and lover, are starting their first-year at Hogwarts. And so is their best friend and indentured servant; Death Incarnate. A very different take on what happens when Something Grim This Way Comes.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,394 - Reviews: 325 - Favs: 1,409 - Follows: 683 - Published: 7/4/2009 - Harry P., OC - Complete
Jack the Giant KillMeNow er by Meltha reviews
The trio are hungry on their horcrux hunt, and Hermione tells them the story of Jack and the beanstalk to pass the time. Eighth in a series of crazy Muggle fairy tales.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,364 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 11 - Published: 6/17/2009 - Hermione G. - Complete
Changing Perspectives by wellyuthink reviews
Harry and Snape have developed an 'understanding'. Unfortunately, when you and your grumpy Potions Professor are unexpectedly thrown into the past, it is possible that this event might have an adverse effect on said understanding... AU, Marauders ahoy!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 35,335 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 257 - Follows: 31 - Published: 5/9/2009 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Wooing Batman by spoodle monkey reviews
Batman is dismissive, but Wally is determined, because he knows that Batman has to like him. Maybe just a little. BatFlash Slash.
Justice League - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,088 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 11 - Published: 4/18/2009 - Wally W./Flash, Bruce W./Batman - Complete
The Woman from the Woods by unamuerte reviews
Ichabod arrives in Sleepy Hollow to investigate murder. Instead, he is haunted by the mysterious young woman who lives in the Western Woods. Who is she? A ghost? The Hessian's lover? Lady Van Tassel plots, while Katrina pines for Ichabod. Read and review!
Sleepy Hollow - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,656 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/17/2009 - Published: 2/19/2009
Make a Bad Day Good by Abunai Himitsu reviews
Flash has a rather rough start to his day when he wakes up late for a League meeting. After the worst is over, he finds one thing that makes it all... "better". Points at BatFlash, but primarily just Flash.
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,868 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 8 - Published: 4/8/2009 - Wally W./Flash - Complete
Magic Markers by Magic Mind reviews
Harry and Draco have fun with markers...But who will discover what the boys are writing? And where are they writing it? Harry/Draco. SLASH. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,160 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 12 - Published: 3/2/2009 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Appearances by fantacination reviews
Grell was encroaching a full six and a half inches into his neat and orderly territory. That was six and a half inches more of gender-confused coworker in his office than necessary. Grell/William, pre-series and Will is the new boy on the block.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,150 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/27/2009 - Grell S., William S. - Complete
RapsolutelyMental unzel by Meltha reviews
The trio are bored and dispirited during their book 7 wanderings, which can lead to only one thing: more Muggle fairytale madness! Seventh in a series.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,393 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 11 - Published: 11/30/2008 - Hermione G. - Complete
A Darker Shade of Justice by Galahad reviews
Batman meets the Justice League
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 14,214 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 168 - Follows: 109 - Updated: 11/29/2008 - Published: 12/13/2005 - Bruce W./Batman, James G.
RumpelStillAsCrazyAsEvertskin by Meltha reviews
The trio are nearly at each other’s throats in book seven, but another of Hermione’s insane Muggle fairy tales comes to the rescue. Fifth in a series though each can stand alone .
Crossover - Harry Potter & Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,326 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 11 - Published: 11/2/2008 - Hermione G. - Complete
17 ways to Drive Meta Knight insane by EmpoweredWolfWrath reviews
Meta Knight gets irritated on a physical, emotional, and mental level. It's a list
Kirby - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 154 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 9 - Published: 10/28/2008
Monitor Duty by enakoritsi reviews
.: Wally/Bruce :. Wally passes the time thinking about the one person who he knows would save him.
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,588 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/27/2008 - Wally W./Flash, Bruce W./Batman - Complete
Letters to Mine Enemy by FrostedMidnight reviews
What does one do when forbidden to write to one's friends? Why, write to thier enemies instead of course.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,412 - Reviews: 252 - Favs: 522 - Follows: 344 - Updated: 10/25/2008 - Published: 9/30/2008 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Little Red Riding HowIsThatPossible od by Meltha reviews
Still chasing the horcruxes, Hermione spends an evening telling Ron and Harry the story of Little Red Riding Hood. Fourth in a series.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,708 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 10 - Published: 10/22/2008 - Hermione G. - Complete
Jealousy by Enchanting Slasher reviews
Wally." He loved the way his name sounded when spoken in that low dark tone. "Shut up." - Slash. Bruce/Wally
Justice League - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,593 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 9 - Published: 9/21/2008 - Bruce W./Batman - Complete
Sleeping BeaYouPeopleAreMadty by Meltha reviews
Hermione tells Ron and Harry the story of Sleeping Beauty to pass the time on their wanderings. Third in a series
Crossover - Harry Potter & Fairy Tales - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,971 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 9 - Published: 9/9/2008 - Hermione G. - Complete
Whispers in the Dark by Water Mage reviews
Before the Gryffindor trio Harry had two other friends as a child. Friends that only he could see and hear. Some would call them imaginary. He would call them something else. They finally have his attention again, and this time they won't quietly go away.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,937 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 215 - Follows: 293 - Updated: 9/7/2008 - Published: 9/2/2008 - Harry P.
So what? I'm mad by OnlyANorthernSong reviews
Flash thinks about what the others think of him during a meeting, hating the place he holds in the league as immature. I was mad when I wrote it, I can't remember why, so my attempt at angst may succeed. Oneshot
Justice League - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 920 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 9 - Published: 9/6/2008 - Complete
Snow WhatAreYouKiddingMe ite by Meltha reviews
Ron is still bored in book seven, so Hermione winds up telling him a fairy story about a strange albino girl and seven short guys. A sequel of sorts to Cinder-What-the-Hell?-a.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,189 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 12 - Published: 8/25/2008 - Hermione G. - Complete
Elementary Calculations by kcourtkat reviews
After finding out about his magic earlier, a decidedly non-Gryffindor Harry Potter plots his way to success.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 44,331 - Reviews: 1773 - Favs: 3,598 - Follows: 4,298 - Updated: 8/22/2008 - Published: 4/29/2008 - Harry P.
Two Sides of the Same Coin by Ten Toes reviews
Petunia & Harry become a team, and Harry finds the wizarding world much earlier than anyone suspects. He hides his Slytherin self under the guise of a naive Gryffindor. He also hides the wizard friendships he made years before Hogwarts. AU
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 110,091 - Reviews: 2155 - Favs: 3,630 - Follows: 4,418 - Updated: 8/17/2008 - Published: 6/25/2007 - Harry P.
Too Late to Correct Your Mistake by Corwalch reviews
This is my take on the highly cliched Harry has a twin who is mistakenly declared the BWL and Harry subsequently is ignored by his parents until the truth comes out. Right now this is a one shot though that may change. Rated T just to be on the safe side.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,427 - Reviews: 384 - Favs: 1,888 - Follows: 702 - Published: 8/16/2008 - Harry P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Harry Potter and Curse Of The Ever Changing Plots by dress without sleeves reviews
This is me. Making fun of you. All of you. And your fics. And possibly some of my fics. No one gets off. HarryGinny is slaughtered, HarryHermione is ridiculed, RonHermione is destroyed. YodaDobby, however, is condoned.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 9,963 - Reviews: 507 - Favs: 261 - Follows: 116 - Updated: 8/5/2008 - Published: 1/31/2005
Marionette by Rock Junkie and DikiCat reviews
By Rock Junkie. "Hello.I'm your nightmare, will you kiss me goodnight?" A poem Inspired by a scar connection.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 403 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/1/2008 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr. - Complete
Disloyalty by Grievous daydreamer reviews
AU about Meta Knight's past. The others notice strange things happening to MK, and Sword and Blade are worried that his sudden flashbacks will have dangerous repercussions. But how do you save someone from their own past?
Kirby - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 29,185 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 7/31/2008 - Published: 5/19/2006 - Meta-Knight - Complete
Knew Father by ImperialJedi reviews
AU6th Year. Sevitus. Harry is a natural Occlumens and has hidden the fact that Snape is his father since he was 10. Harry must deal with many unique attempts at his life and the ongoing war while studying to become a Healer and keep his parentage secret.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 36,251 - Reviews: 587 - Favs: 672 - Follows: 1,123 - Updated: 7/22/2008 - Published: 6/24/2005 - Harry P., Severus S.
Deception! The Star Warrior, Meta Knight! by Skystalker reviews
Meta-Knight has always been shrouded in mystery; Is he friend? Or foe? As the story unfolds, secrets will be revealed as to what this strange and powerful Star Warrior's true intentions are. PG-13 for mild language and possible violent scenes.
Kirby - Rated: T - English - Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,212 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 5/10/2008 - Published: 4/14/2008
The Secrets of Mistletoe by darkness wasted reviews
Shadow doesn't celebrate Christmas. amy shows him her favorite part about the holiday, mistletoe! But what happens when they're found under it! ShadAmy Fic. Read and Review!
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,712 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/21/2008 - Amy, Shadow - Complete
Thank You by kcourtkat reviews
An exiled Harry Potter Sends a letter to the Daily Prophet after being contacted about a new Dark Lord.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 706 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 615 - Follows: 141 - Published: 4/11/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Sin by xxdeath.by.chocolatexx reviews
The seven sins, one chapter per sin, one pairing per chapter...who's going to hell? COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,513 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 3/25/2008 - Published: 9/24/2007 - Complete
Stranded Here Without You by Lament of Meow reviews
BatmanFlash. Which, yes, does mean slash. Estranged because of a rather heated argument, the Flash and the Bat are nonetheless sent out on a mission together to a neighboring planet. A mission that, unfortunately, goes horribly wrong for them both.
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,395 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 1/2/2008 - Published: 12/24/2007 - Bruce W./Batman
So You've Decided to Be Evil by Evadne reviews
Harry Potter discovers there are things far, far more annoying than Death.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,600 - Reviews: 436 - Favs: 1,213 - Follows: 885 - Updated: 12/1/2007 - Published: 3/3/2006 - Voldemort, Harry P.
South of Normal by Inspector Minkey reviews
...I've been alienating people since I was three!... And House has, but why? Spring of '63 onward.
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,422 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 11/27/2007 - Published: 11/29/2006 - G. House
Horcrux by Moldy Voldy reviews
Harry's been 'kidnapped' and is known to be a horcrux. With the dark world giving him almost as much reverence as Voldy, and being under the complete control of a monster, how's the Chosen One to follow through NOW?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,553 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 9/19/2007 - Published: 7/28/2007 - Harry P.
Oh, Mistress Spider by Rulern Av Ost reviews
In the dark cupboard he lives with spiders. They are his, as he is theirs. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 992 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 193 - Follows: 27 - Published: 9/12/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Burn, Baby, Burn! by Dark-Syaoran reviews
Harry Potter loves to watch things burn. A series of oneshot ficlets.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 29,306 - Reviews: 333 - Favs: 827 - Follows: 237 - Updated: 8/11/2007 - Published: 3/1/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
Unholy by Lady Salazar reviews
There are some things the human race is not meant to know. Harry didn't care instead, he made it his life's purpose to learn them. Oneshot
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,944 - Reviews: 258 - Favs: 1,357 - Follows: 363 - Published: 6/23/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Always Smiling by Lady Salazar reviews
Running only made it worse, and crying only made them enjoy it more. So Harry smiled instead, and waited for the day when he wouldn't have to, when it'd be them running and crying in his place. Oneshot, RK elements.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 23,255 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 995 - Follows: 333 - Published: 6/22/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
The Mary Sues Cometh by citygirl1116 reviews
A lesser known Hogwarts class teaches new students what they really need to survive at school. A citygirl1116® parody!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,047 - Reviews: 584 - Favs: 434 - Follows: 219 - Updated: 6/17/2007 - Published: 7/28/2005 - Harry P.
Not Slytherin Enough by fruit17 reviews
Harry was sorted into Slytherin. Five years later, members of the Order of the Phoenix come to collect him from Privet Drive. The Boy Who Lived isn't quite who they expected. Warning: female Blaise.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,918 - Reviews: 383 - Favs: 1,984 - Follows: 609 - Published: 6/3/2007 - Harry P., Blaise Z. - Complete
Echoes from the Past by Valerie Vancollie reviews
Severitus challenge response! Before his fifteenth birthday, Harry receives a letter that alters his entire life. Now it is up to him to reveal the truth to the other whom it concerns. Will he find the courage or will he repeat his mother's mistake?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 102,306 - Reviews: 563 - Favs: 384 - Follows: 523 - Updated: 5/20/2007 - Published: 10/16/2002 - Harry P., Severus S.
Week Old Pizza by dragonprincess1988 reviews
Continuing after Lost and Found might want to read that first Superman gets to see first hand the weirdness that is Bruce and Alfred and we find out what exactly is wrong.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,020 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/25/2007 - Bruce W./Batman, Richard G./Nightwing - Complete
Secrets and Surprises by SpiralSeeker reviews
Harry has a dangerous problem, and a big secret. Who will help him heal? HPDM. Angst. Potentially triggering.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 12,650 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 3/13/2007 - Published: 7/6/2006 - Harry P., Draco M.
The Power The Dark Lord Knows Not? by Nose Goblins reviews
One shot: The Harry Discovers the Power Humor PLEASE REVIEW!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,044 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/7/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Through It All by Artificial Lines reviews
We all know that everyone wonders what would have happened if the infamous conversation in Madam Malkin's had gone differently. Here's my version. Slash HD
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 21,428 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 206 - Follows: 323 - Updated: 2/1/2007 - Published: 11/30/2005 - Harry P., Draco M.
Letters That Don't Exist by Katria Bloom reviews
Cowritten with beatlebeb. Harry and Draco exchange letters over the summer months...SLASH
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 4,956 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 16 - Published: 12/20/2006 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Skepsis by Amerision reviews
Everyone has those random fleeting urges, needs mostly ignored and forgotten. Harry’s are just a bit more darker than most. ONESHOT [Graphic Violence, Insanity]
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,509 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 13 - Published: 12/17/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
Savior by lesyeuxverts reviews
AU. Harry is sorted into Slytherin, Snape is confronted with some disturbing realizations, and Draco wants to help.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 57,277 - Reviews: 524 - Favs: 640 - Follows: 920 - Updated: 9/11/2006 - Published: 5/21/2006 - Harry P., Severus S.
Feels Good to Get Away by MadleyTassida and BlazeSplinder Froste reviews
Draco replied to the calculating look, “Yes, Draco Malfoy the disgraced Malfoy heir.” The greeneyed boy smiled, “Sorry, I don’t read the papers much so, that means nothing to me.” He flashed another charming grin, “I’m Harry, by the way. Harry Potter.”
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 17,752 - Reviews: 274 - Favs: 186 - Follows: 327 - Updated: 7/30/2006 - Published: 4/7/2006 - Draco M., Harry P.
Public Adoration by Eulalie Moire reviews
SSxRL. Snape and Lupin have a one night stand and a misunderstanding.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,054 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/11/2006 - Remus L., Severus S. - Complete
Harry, the god of war by YumiAngel reviews
Fic about Harry's summer after book 5. Something, or rather someone awakes in Harry. Crossover with Buffy and Ranma. My first fic, some serious raping of language and Greek mythology.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 14,713 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 10/12/2005 - Published: 11/12/2004 - Harry P., Voldemort
Return to the Smurfette Village by LadyRaven-321 reviews
After their first visit to the Smurf Village it is time to take the smurfettes home. But something's not right, are the smurfette's home in danger? What is in store for their future? UPDATED: with fixed grammar and added smurfette characters. COMPLETE R&R Please and Thank you!
Smurfs - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 47,972 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/14/2005 - Published: 1/29/2005 - Hefty, OC - Complete
The Third by blowfishissweet reviews
After a failed attempt to shrink Percy's ego [there was a potion involved], The Weasley Twins find themselves accompanied by a reluctant third: 15 year old Severus Snape.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,256 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 7/17/2005 - Published: 6/6/2005 - George W., Severus S.
Weasleysitting by The Kitty-kitty reviews
Alistor Moody had twenty years experience of eing an Auror... but nothing NOTHING could prepare him for this fresh horror... babysitting seven Weasleys.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,060 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 10 - Published: 7/15/2005 - Alastor M., Ron W.
Rumors by Dimitri t reviews
It’s still Clark’s fault. Rumors about Wally, Bruce, and John are circulating and they’re kind of…weird. So the best solution is to get it out in the open…right? …uh. Follow Up to '3x5 Index Cards'
Justice League - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,646 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 4/7/2005 - Published: 2/12/2005
The Power The Dark Lord Knows Of by Finbar reviews
A very silly little one shot where Harry lets Voldemort know about the Power he isnt supposed to know about...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,553 - Reviews: 323 - Favs: 759 - Follows: 140 - Published: 4/4/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
Mary Sue and the Hogwarts Express by opalish reviews
This is a blatant parody of Mary Sue fics. -- Mary Sue is headed to Hogwarts...but nothing goes the way she expects. One-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,180 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 16 - Published: 2/22/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
A Mary Sue Alphabet by Irony-chan reviews
A's for Amanda Our hero's twin sister Got lost as a baby and Gosh, how he missed her...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,497 - Reviews: 2550 - Favs: 5,861 - Follows: 344 - Published: 1/12/2005 - Complete
Harry Potter and the Overdone Plot Devices by citygirl1116 reviews
Exchange Students, time turners, potions accidents, long-lost twins, mysterious new powers, snogging, more exchange students...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 17,349 - Reviews: 1392 - Favs: 753 - Follows: 281 - Updated: 9/25/2004 - Published: 3/24/2004 - Harry P.
The Family Name by Elbereth in April reviews
Artemis-Harry Potter Crossover. Artemis learns he is a wizard. Put one unethical child genius in Hogwarts and watch the schemes and rivalries unfold. COMPLETE
Crossover - Harry Potter & Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 31 - Words: 92,631 - Reviews: 951 - Favs: 812 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 7/12/2004 - Published: 9/21/2003 - Draco M., Artemis F. - Complete
Knock Knock by michelle-31a reviews
Harry tries to tell a 'knock-knock' joke to Luna - 'try' being the operative word
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,024 - Reviews: 276 - Favs: 636 - Follows: 48 - Published: 6/15/2004 - Harry P., Luna L.
Lord Voldemort and the Internal Revenue Service by citygirl1116 reviews
In honor of April 15: Lord Voldemort encounters a force far darker and more evil than he could ever hope to be...income taxes.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 696 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 208 - Follows: 24 - Published: 4/14/2004 - Voldemort
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A Grouchy Love Story reviews
Smurfette is prompted to spend the day with Grouchy, the smurf she likes the absolute least. A bet made with the princess Savina causes mayhem for both of them. Now they're scouring the forest looking for strange plants, Grouchy's deviousness appears to be obliviousness, and Smurfette wanders around, wishing she was wearing pants and blushing an eternal red.
Smurfs - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,980 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/20 - Published: 9/23/2013 - [Smurfette, Grouchy]
Compulsions reviews
Vanity decides he needs Grouchy by his side, so the narcissist makes it his mission to drag the grump kicking and screaming into his loving embrace for all eternity. Grouchy isn't sure how to, ah, respond appropriately to Vanity's affections. They want each other, hate each other, want to smash each other's heads on a rock, but hey, that's love.
Smurfs - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 745 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/19 - [Grouchy, Vanity]
Reflections reviews
Set during the cartoon episode, "Now You Smurf 'Em, Now You Don't". Grouchy discovers two missing smurfs and a strange crystal orb. While investigating, a few of his many demons are unearthed. What do you do when the one thing you truly want is the thing you hate most of all?
Smurfs - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,146 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/8/2013 - Grouchy - Complete
A Very, Very Bad Day reviews
"...for some strange and rather funny reason that will not be mentioned, Hefty decided to look up." Well, we're mentioning it now, so sit back and laugh as Hefty falls in rivers, nearly gets eaten, and comes face to face with our favorite red-eyed monster. This guy just can't catch a break, can he? Monster of a Grouch spin-off. Reading Monster of a Grouch first is recommended.
Smurfs - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,501 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/21/2013 - Hefty - Complete
A Monster of a Grouch reviews
The Smurflings have always been terrified of Grouchy. He's just so…unsmurfy. But when the Smurflings end up stranded in Grouchy's house on Halloween Night, will they find out that there's more to this monster of a smurf than meets the eye? Or can you really judge some books by their cover? SnappyxSassette pairing.
Smurfs - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 15 - Words: 26,048 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 8/20/2013 - Published: 8/22/2012 - Grouchy - Complete
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