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Author has written 1 story for Blue Exorcist/青の祓魔師.
I have returned after what seems like an eternity. I hope to be able to write more but I doubt any of my stories will be any good.
Age: Between 1 and 100
Gender: Pretty sure I'm a girl even though my profile's name is 'Dougall' Dragon.
Species:Gummybear.Just kiding I'm human...or am I?
I listen to German metal instead of j-pop or Justin Bieber. Deal with it!
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
You laugh at me because I'm crazy, I laugh at you because there's an invisible leprechaun sitting on your shoulder.
Last night I was laying in bed, looking up at the stars and I thought . . . WHERE THE HECK IS THE CEILING?
Before you judge a person, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, it doesn't matter because you're a mile away from him, and you've got his shoes.
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised that we lied about having cookies?
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
Keep smiling; it makes everyone wonder what you're up to.
We must never, ever be mean to stupid people. If we are, they might go away. Then who would we laugh at?
Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.
It’s retarded it’s ridiculous it’s re-dic-u-tard-ed.
What girls don't seem to know: when a guy acts like he hates you, chances are, he likes you. What guys don't seem to know: when a girl acts like she hates you, chances are, she hates you.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
The world is full of crazy people. They made me their leader.
Don't mess with me, I've got a stick.
Boys are like Slinky's . . . useless, but fun to watch fall down stairs.
Slinky escalator = endless fun
People tell me I'm weird and I say "You just figured that out?"
Best friends are the people that know all about you and still put up with you.
I don't have a short attention span, I just - ooh, a kitty!
I'm not insane . . . I just do whatever the voices tell me to.
Isn't it funny how people who want quiet are always the loudest telling people to shut up?
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyways.
I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people and their questions.
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.
Do not disturb, I'm disturbed enough already.
Earth is the insane asylum of the universe.
There's no place like home . . . but Wal-mart's close.
You can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their own way, then trick them when they aren't paying attention.
Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. I think its Collin.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's actually a meteor hurtling toward Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.
Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.
Don't worry about the people in your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future.
The rules only apply if you get caught.
I got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the w's.
A true idiot climbs a glass wall to see what's on the other side.
I used all my sick days so I called in dead.
Don't worry about the end of the world coming today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
Kids are the future. Be afraid, very afraid!
Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible?
You're a great friend, but if zombies chase us . . . I'm tripping you.
So many stupid people, so little duct tape.
I'm too tired to punch you. Would you please run your face into my fist repeatedly?
I have multiple personalities, and none of them like you.
I don't understand white crayons! Why are they here? What do they want from us?
"Let's eat Grandma!" or "Let's eat, Grandma!" Punctuation saves lives.
Get real. No one's going to form a single-file line if the building's on FIRE!
The next sentence is true. The previous sentence is false.
A true idiot will wash a window on the 46th floor outside and take a step back to admire his work
If the world was ending and you would just sit down and eat popcorn while everyone else was panicing, copy and paste this into your profile
If you ever proved your teacher wrong, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you randomly start talking/singing/dancing, copy and paste this into your profile.
large percent of authors do not know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you do know the difference, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you'd rather read than do sports, paste this into your profile.
If you run upstairs to your room right after school to get on your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you day-dream about your fictional characters and plot lines in class, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you are wondering what it would be like to have wings, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid post this on your profile
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile
If you ever pushed on a door that said "Pull" copy this into your profile.
If you ever pulled on a door that said "Push" copy this into your profile.
If you ever wished that you could talk to animals, paste this into your profile.
IF YOUR AGAINST ANIMAL CRUELTY COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!!!
If you've ever wondered if you were adopted because of your sibling, copy this into your profile
If you go crazy every time you get another comment, copy and paste this
If you've ever pushed off a school project till the week before it was due and still got a good grade on it, copy and paste this
If you've ever laughed at your friend when they've done something stupid, copy and paste this.
If you've ever laughed and couldn't stop yourself from laughing for the next few minutes, copy and paste this.
If your pretty different from others copy this into your profile
If you secretly wish that mythical creatures exist (dragons, unicorns, phoenixes, etc.), copy this onto your profile
If you have ever had a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are against drunk driving please copy this onto your profile!
If you think child abuse is wrong and needs to stop, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. (does a pole count?)
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.
My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend than copy this to your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy and paste this into your profile
If you believe you are genuinely in love with 2 or more tvshow/book characters, copy and paste this into your profile
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap," (and that would be how...??)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (Oh - but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (No! I thought it would be cold after hearting!)
On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of car accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those roads.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (Darn! I was planning to stay awake tonight!)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to what...?)
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
On a hair ironer-"Do not use in pubic area." (Jesus, some people can be really weird.)
I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Really? But I'm already on the roof and everything!)
A POEM I FOUND ON CHILD ABUSE! PLZ PASS IT ON!
My name is Tiffany
I am three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren’t ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can’t do a wrong
I can’t speak at all
Or else im locked up
All day long.
When im awake im all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren’t home
When my mommy does come home
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe ill just get
One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie’s bar.
I hear him curse
My name is called
I press myself
Against the wall
I try to hide
From his evil eyes
I’m so afraid now
I’m starting to cry
He finds me weeping
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault
He suffers at work.
He slaps and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And run to the door
He’s already locked it
And i start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken,
"I’m sorry!", I scream
But its now much to late
His face has been twisted
Into a unimaginable shape
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door
While i lay there motionless
Brawled on the floor
My name is tiffany
I am three,
Tonight my daddy
And you can help
Sickens me top the soul,
And if you read this
and don’t pass it on
I pray for your forgiveness
Because you would have to be
One heartless person
To not be effected
By this Poem
And because you are effected,
Do something about it!
So all i ask you to do
Is pass this on!
IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE
At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap.
When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.
When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.
When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.
When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.
When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.
When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.
When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.
When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.
When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night.
When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.
When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.
When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.
When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children.
And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile!
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