Author has written 20 stories for Hunger Games, DC Superheroes, StarTrek: The Original Series, Inuyasha, Transformers/Beast Wars, Misc. Books, Greek Mythology, StarTrek: The Next Generation, Jesus Christ Superstar, Harry Potter, Kim Possible, and Tenchi Muyo.
Hi! I'm a third generation Michigander who also happens to be a second generation geek. I have rather eclectic tastes; I like everything from Pokemon to Gilligan's Island and Star Wars to Transformers. I do write (slowly and painfully), but I'm actually better at brainstorming and editing other people's work. I was homeschooled K through 12, and I would be happy to answer any questions that I can. Also, I collect quotes; they come in handy for both stories and writing assignments. Usually, they are not from songs, but I do have the habit of reaping them from fanfictions and crediting them to Anonymous. Some wonderfully creative lines can be found here!
I've started updating my LiveJournal account. Basically, the same stories will be there (there is a Master Fic List link off to the right), as well as some original writing and any links that I cannot show here in my stories on FF.net.
I also have an Archive of Our Own account. Again, it's just the same stories already posted here, except with links and more interesting tagging.
In case the above links refuse to show, then I should probably mention that so far, I have the same username and profile pic on all of my accounts.
(Sorry, but I just have to put this up.) Things I really hate in a story: 1.) Utterly unnecessary lemons 2.) When a finished story is not marked as 'Complete' 3.) When a story is deleted.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
Written by a 15 yr. old School Kid in Ohio: New Pledge of Allegiance
NEW School prayer:
Now I sit me down in school
If Scripture now the class recites,
Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
For praying in a public hall
We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
We can get our condoms and birth controls,
It's scary here I must confess,
These tragic words were part of a twisted rewording of the beloved 23rd Psalm,
"King Heroin is my shepherd, I shall always want.
Also found in the car with the dead woman was this message:
Although I conquer all the earth,
A Sanskrit Poem by Anonymous
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
Anyway by Anonymous
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building by George Bush. He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.'
There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intend to do, bomb them?' A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'
A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?' Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'
A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically. Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready." The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France!" The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."
God and the Soldier by Anonymous
God and the Soldier
What is Love?
Love is a verb, not a noun. Love is how you act, not how you feel or what you say (although those certainly help!).
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not arrogant or rude. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
A Practical, Revised Prayer of Confession (Note - This is entirely from my head, and God doesn't seem to have a problem with it.)
My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart.
Owning Two Cows – Contrasting Ideologies Today (I believe this was developed by Joel Vincent.)
Capitalism: You have two cows. You milk one, sell the other along with some of the milk, and you keep all of the money, and some of the milk for yourself.
Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes one of the cows from you, and part of the milk, allowing you to keep some of the milk for yourself, which you can sell if you wish.
Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both cows, makes you milk them both, and gives you part of the milk for yourself. If you try to sell some of it to anybody else, you will spend the rest of your life in prison, learning the “errors” you have committed by oppressing others.
Nazism: You have two cows. The government takes both cows, makes you milk them both, then shoots you and takes all of the milk.
Bureaucracy: You have two cows. The government fines you in excess of what the cows are worth, because you have the wrong type of feed that you got delivered by mistake because you didn’t have the correct form filled out completely. You are called into court for cruelty to animals because you killed a rat that was trying to eat the wrong type of fee, that you can’t get rid of now, since the government considers it a potential health hazard. The government subsequently confiscates both cows , shoots one of them, milks the other, and pours half of the milk down the drain. You get some of the rest to feed your family as part of a special government welfare program for destitute ex-milk farmers.
(*Note: Is it bad that the simplified Nazism looks kinder to me than the simplified Bureaucracy? At least getting shot is relatively quick.)
Children Learn What They Live
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
"When someone asks me to explain schizophrenia I tell them, you know how sometimes in your dreams you are in them yourself and some of them feel like real nightmares? My schizophrenia was like I was walking through a dream. Bus everything around me was real. At times, today's world seems so boring and I wonder if I would like to step back into the schizophrenic dream, but then I remember all the scary and horrifying experiences." - Stuart Emmons (from Psychology in Everyday life, 2nd Edition)
Teller, Teller by Jane Yollen from Troll Bridge
Teller, teller, tell me a tale,
So tell me quick,
Princess, princess, give me a kiss,
So tell me quick,
“I have been monitoring your various broadcasts, and there are constant reports of fractiousness among your people: divides along racial lines, philosophical boundaries. Yet children of all races, creeds, and colors cavort upon me, pretending to be firefighters, with no recognition of the differences between them. Meanwhile the adults, also of various ethnicities, engage in casual and friendly conversation and immediately discourage any fights or discord between the children. I have therefore concluded that for your civilization to reach its true potential, what your planet requires is more playgrounds.” – Sentinel Prime from Transformers: Dark of the Moon by Peter David
Threefold Curse: May you live in interesting times, may you come to the attention of those in authority, and may you find what you are looking for.
Irish Curse: May those who love us, love us.