Author has written 2 stories for Jimmy Neutron, and Phineas and Ferb.
95% of teens would cry if they saw Justin Beiber at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. 4% would sit there with popcorn and a camera and yell "Jump Bitch, Jump!" or "DO A FLIP!!" :)or 'Don't fall on my car!'XD, the other 1% would say 'holy shit why are you taking so long' and go up onto of the skyscraper and push him off his/herself. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are part of the last 5%. :)
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.
Repost this and spread the stupidity!
10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL
10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks
9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies
8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly
7. Our magazines have horoscopes
6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around
5. Our friends don't say "hi" by punching us in the arm
4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month
3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have
2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket
1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing
... Put this on your
... page if you have
...O. ever pushed a
... door that said pull XP
Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies)
Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL,
Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART,
Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG,
Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY,
Calling me POOR won't make you RICH,
Calling me FAT wont make you PERFECT,
Calling me UNCOOL wont make you COOL,
So why bother?
Six Basic Truths in Life:
1 . Try it! You can't stick your tongue out and look at the ceiling at the same time, it's a physical impossibility, due to the tendons within your neck
2 . All idiots, after reading #1, will try it
3 . You'll discover that #1 is a lie
4 . You are smiling now because YOU are an idiot
5 . You soon will share this with other idiots
6 . There is still a stupid smile on your face. I sincerely apologize about this, but I too, am an idiot, and I needed company
Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i together. Woman: Really? Because I'd put f and u together.
Man: Your eyes they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing
Man: I'm sorry--I got lost in your beautiful eyes. Woman: Then turn around and walk away.
Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number? Woman: It's in the phone book
Man: But I don't know your name Woman: That's in the phone book too
Man: I know how to please a woman Woman: Then please leave me alone
Man: I can tell you want me Woman Ohhhhh, you’re so right, I want you to leave
25 Reasons I owe my mother...
1. My mother taught me to APPERCIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3.My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into next week."
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORSIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about,"
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mout and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about weather. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
10. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck."
11. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinich is gone."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a millon times. Don't exaggerate."
13. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
16. My mother taught me about about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until i get home!"
17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing you eyes, their going to freeze that way."
18. My mother taught me about RECIEVING. "You are going to get it when we get home."
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold."
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come crying to me."
21. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
22. My mother taught me MOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables you'll never grow up."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut the door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you."
You're a 90's kid if:
You can finish this 'ice ice _" You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters! You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You remember reading "Goosebumps" You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1. when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular. You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS. You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies. When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos. You remember boom boxes vs. cd players. Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them. You played and/or collected "Pogs" You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere. . . . Furbies You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet. And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles. Michael Jordan was a king. You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies. Carebears
You collected all the Troll dolls
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart. "Talk to the hand" . . . nough said You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground. Before the MySpace frenzy . . . Before the Internet & text messaging . . . Before Sidekicks & iPods . . . Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . . Before Spongebob . . . Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up trainers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon.
When Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When gameboy was a brick.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!! Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . . or if you smiled at one of these things
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, copy and paste this on your profile. (Highlight in BOLD the ones you are.)...
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I’m a TEENAGER, so I MUST be a rude, rebellious delinquent.
I get STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I get GOOD RESULTS at school, so I MUST be a goody-goody.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm into THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be f*cking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I HATE JUSTIN BIEBER, so I MUST be jealous of him
I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly... Or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. (LOL)
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER, so I MUST smoke weed
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I like to SING, so I MUST be gay
I'm in a BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I DON’T HAVE A BOYFRIEND, so I MUST be a loser
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I like OLD CARTOONS, so I MUST be a sad loser.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I WEAR GLASSES, so I MUST be a nerd.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I have a quirky personality, so I MUST be an idiot
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a wuss.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of humor, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling b*tch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m AMERICAN, so I MUST be violent.
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I’m an AMERICAN GIRL, so I MUST be a diva.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. I
'm DISABLED, so I MUST be dumb and retarded.
I’m AMERICAN, so I MUST talk like a hillbilly.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with a Cockney or a posh accent, be stuck up, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser I care about the ENVIRONMENT, so I MUST be a tree hugging hippie
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I DAYDREAM, so I MUST be a nerd.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I DANCE, so I MUST be a gaylord.
I BROKE UP MY GIRLFRIEND, so I MUST have got her pregnant.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I TALK A LOT, so I MUST be an attention-seeker.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I DON’T BELIEVE IN GOD, so I MUST be going to Hell.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast I like GAMES and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic b*stard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm AUSTRALIAN, so I MUST hunt crocodiles, wear hats with corks hanging from them, and talk to kangaroos.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be gay.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an nerdy, over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.