Author has written 3 stories for Sweeney Todd, and Les Misérables.
'Ello there, guv'nor!
I am quite the huge- wait, sorry, that's wrong- a verrrry huge overly obsessive completely dedicated Helena Bonham Carter fan.
HBC FOR LIFE!
MY FAVOURITE PAIRINGS:
NOW I'M OFF TO STEAL SOME LINES FROM OTHER PEOPLE'S PROFILES!
Ok, ok I totally stole this from someone's profile on fanfiction.net while reading Sweenett stuff because I'm too lazy to write my own and I agree with all of them anyways XD
Not only do you own the DVD and the soundtrack - you know the lyrics off by heart. (I actually own 2 DVDs of it, but that's a case of stupidity, not obsession )
You re-enact Helena's Worst Pies in London in your own kitchen. (Not completely true- I re enact it anywhere and EVERYWHERE all the time.)
You suddenly start singing "A Little Priest" while chopping the vegetables for dinner. (suddenly the guests dont want to eat anymore. Why? Haven't the slightest.)
You think they should play "The Ballad of Sweeney Todd" at your cousin's wedding, instead of "Here Comes the Bride" (Oh! Oh, and my wedding too!)
You choke up whenever you read/hear/are introduced to someone named either: Sweeney/Benjamin/Lucy/Nellie/Lovett/Barker/Turpin/Toby/Todd
You like to do the following past-times:
Blowing out your candle while combing out your hair
Weather-watching (don't forget breathing lightly and sitting at the window!)
Whenever you get into a discussion about movies with your friends, you're out to convince them Sweeney Todd is the BEST movie ever made. Even if they look at you like this O_O. (the usual argument is something like "What is Sweeney Todd?" the argument then ends with me explaining, my friends being convinced I'm clinically insane, a classic face palm from me, and then me walking away because I am FOREVER ALONE.)
You can't walk past a barber shop anymore without thinking of Sweeney Todd. (EVERY. TIME.)
You can't think of PIES, FLOUR or ROLLING PINS anymore without thinking of Mrs Lovett. (What can I say? Also every time.)
When you're in the supermarket, you deliberately go searching in the frozen food section for meat pies. The little ones, mind. (This is one of the truest statements here. I even got one just because )
Everytime you walk down to the sea, you start to hum/think of By the Sea. (YEEESSS. Started singing it and people are just like "what r u doing?". I dream of the day where somebody actually catches on.)
Whenever a problem comes up or you get into a fight with someone, you immediately think: what would Helena/Mrs Lovett do? (bwahaha. Send 'em up ta Mr. T, of course!)
You've tried doing your hair Mrs Lovett's style-messy...and worn it outside. (I've actually done this many many times. I get... Looks. Decidedly not of admiration.)
You want to name one of your kids after one of the Sweeney Todd characters. Well, if it's good enough for Helena, you think! (I worship this lady. Seriously. Helenist, here!)
You've cosplayed/dressed up as one of the characters from Sweeney Todd. (actually I plan to...)
You've not only bought/made the following articles Helena wears in the movie: her black lace gloves, ribboned boots, black corset,
red and white by the sea bustle dress... (I swear if I find any of these they will be mine and I WILL wear them in public. If she does it, so will I!)
Give yourself a gold star if you wear the said articles OUTSIDE. In public. How's THAT for devoted? Or just plain nutty... (Like the latter... If she does it, I do it. Her word is law.)
You catch yourself thinking/talking like Mrs Lovett. Wot, wot was that, love? Me ears isn't wot they once wos. Now, where's that flamin' Mr T gone to? (See? What'd I say, dear? I 'ave a bit of a problem, not mucha one, just a li'l bit.)
-- MEMBER OF THE ABC CAFE --
Raise the flag of freedom high. Uh huh.
IT'S TIME FOR COPY 'N PASTE!
If you think Helena Bonham Carter is sooooooo omg theres no doubt bout it AWESOME!, copy and paste this into you profile.
If you are a fan of Johnny Depp not only because he's attractive, but because of his personality and his love for children etc...copy and paste this on your profile!
If you have ever tried or have succeeded in doing your hair like Mrs. Lovett and went out in public, copy and past this into your profile
If you would do anything to meet Helena Bonham Carter, Johnny Depp and Tim Burton copy this onto your profile
If you LOVE Tim Burton's style of movies, copy and paste this into your profile.
Copy and paste this to your profile if Bellatrix Lestrange is a better character than Dumbledore.
Copy and paste this to your profile if every time Judge Turpin says, "Mr. Todd" you think he'll say "Mr. Potter".
Copy and paste this to your profile if you think evil deserves to win sometimes; it works as hard as anyone else.
If you think that psycho, emo, murderous barbers are 100 times better than sparkly vampires, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think Sweeney Todd needs a hug (or you'd just like to hug him), copy and paste this onto your profile.
You know you're obsessed with Tim Burton/Johnny Depp/Helena Bonham Carter when/if...
...your history teacher is talking about the sugar plantations in the Spanish colonies, mentions rum, and you raise your hand and say, "Why is the rum gone?"
...you've become a Burton missionary, passing around your copy of his book The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy & Other Stories to friends.
...you wish Colleen Atwood could be your personal clothing designer.
...you made up your own word to describe the London of Tim Burton's Sweeney Todd: Burtonian London.
...you go as a Johnny/Helena character for Halloween: I was Johnny Depp last year and gonna be Mrs, Lovett this year.
...you stare at yourself in the mirror and forlornly sigh, "If only I looked like Helena..."
...meeting the above people is on your bucket list.
...you got uber-excited when you found out about Alice in Wonderland.
...you have a 3-foot tall Sweeney Todd poster on the back of your bedroom door.
...whenever you cook, you listen to Sweeney Todd via your iPod and sing along.
...they appear in your dreams nightly/weekly.
...if your parents/all close family die suddenly, you want to move to England to have Tim and Helena legally adopt you.
...Heck, you just want to go to England to meet them and then cross the Channel to France to drop in on Johnny.
...you want to try on Helena's Mrs. Lovett dress, Johnny's Jack Sparrow coat/Sweeney Todd barbering jacket.
...you became obsessed with the musical Sweeney Todd after the movie came out.
...for you, going to the Tim Burton exhibit at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art in California is pretty much a holy pilgrimage.
...you never read People magazine but bought the issue about Johnny Depp being the sexiest man alive.
...your limited drawing skills frustrate you to no end, for you just CAN'T draw a decent picture of Johnny or Helena, even after much agonizing and studying pictures of them.
...you make lists like this just to find out how many ways you're obsessed with these people. Heh... shifty eyes
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