Kurumi-baka
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Poll: Should I bash Sasuke in Shinigami Naruto? Vote Now!
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Joined 08-27-12, id: 4224620, Profile Updated: 05-14-13
Author has written 3 stories for Naruto.

My Username: KingOfAllFansAlmighty

Age:19

Gender:Male

Do I even need to say anything? This is my profile and that's it. I'll be posting some funny or sad things on here for your entertainment, but that's it.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Having the love of your life say, "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Its not until you're broken that you know what you're made of.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled Bang, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eyes.

When life give you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it.

Everyone has a wild side--me and my friends just prefer to make them public

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

EMO=Extravagantly Made Oragami

YOUTUBE myspace and I'll Google your YAHOO

Labels are for cans. And in case you haven't noticed--Im not a can.

Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

This is a sad story

(This is something sad that brought tears to my eyes ;_; )

A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on the road on a motorcycle...

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No it's not. Please it's too scary!

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: Fine I love you. Slow down!

Guy: Now give me a BIG hug...

Girl hugs him

Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on yourself? It's bugging me.

(in the paper the next day)

A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of
brake failure.

Two people were on it, but only 1 had survived.

The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brake broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know.

Instead,he had her say she loved him and felt her hug one last time, then he had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.

If you love any one this much...let them know...before its too late...

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.

How To Annoy People
At An Amusement Park

Dress up like one of the photographers and follow people around asking them repeatly if they would like their picture taken.

Leave large gaps in between you and the people in front of you while waiting in line.

Every time you pass a chain restraint not in use, clip it on and use it to hold back the people behind you in line.

Ask the person running the roller coaster if someone has recently thrown up on it.

Pretend to freak out on a ride so they stop it to let you off.

Offer people money for their spots in line...MONOPOLY money.

Speak in Spanish, or pretend you're deaf and start making rapid hand movements.

Start talking about shaving your excess body hair in line while everyone around you is silent.

Find someone and tell them you're lost. Use your best acting skills.

Steal all of the pennies out of the water fountains.

Go up to the boy band wanna-be group and pretend to be really excited and ask for their autographs, reassuring them that they're gonna make it big soon.

Take an Alka-Seltzer tablet and begin to have spasmatic movements in your body while foaming at the mouth at the very top of the tallest ride.

Ask the ride attendant if you cannot ride because you are under the influence of herione, marijuana, crack, and every other drug you can think of.

Begin to cry when they start the merry-go-round and have them stop it because you're too scared to go all the way.

Start talking loudly about the last time you got stuck upside-down on this ride, scaring everyone in line around you.

Ask someone that looks like they're in a hurry for directions.

Complain about how dirty the seat is, and demand they clean it off.

Walk up to anyone in the park, and say "Hi, my name is your name" and offer a handshake.

Ask ANYONE for their autograph.

Advertise for a theme park...one you're not at.

Find someone to tell your life story to.

Whisper right in someone's ear, "I know what you did last summer."

Comment how good you look in every picture of you on a ride.

Make fun of everyone else in every set of pictures taken during the rides.

Go up to every character walking around and give them a big hug and call them your "hero."

Ride every water ride and infor meverybody with you that you can't swim and everyone's gonna drown.

9 Things I Hate About Everyone:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Idiots!

5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbie?

Finally! We have mathematical proof!!! I saw this and almost died laughing! XD

Proof that girls are evil

First we state that girls require time and money:

GIRLS = TIME X MONEY

And as we all know "time is money":

TIME = MONEY

Therefore:

GIRLS = MONEY X MONEY = (MONEY)

And because “money is the root of all evil”:

MONEY = EVIL

Therefore:

GIRLS = (EVIL)

We are forced to conclude that:

GIRLS = EVIL

Check out the poll, if you haven't seen the story, read it.

Also, I NEED A BETA!!!

Approved by me.

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Team 8 by S'TarKan reviews
What if Naruto had been selected for a different team? What if he'd had a different mentor? Who would guess the consequences would be so large?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 276,868 - Reviews: 14015 - Favs: 17,131 - Follows: 14,608 - Updated: 4/23 - Published: 1/1/2006 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
The Cursed Sharingan by melissaaax3 reviews
On a mission to retrieve Sasuke, Team Kakashi is split up and Naruto is captured by the Akatsuki. When the extraction fails, Madara chooses to use a different method to get Kyuubi. Enter one Uchiha Itachi. Just how will our favorite heroine get out of this situation? Realistic Genderbender. Itachi/FemNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 126,573 - Reviews: 497 - Favs: 1,045 - Follows: 1,241 - Updated: 4/12 - Published: 4/16/2013 - Itachi U., Naruko U.
Konoha no Senkou Arashi by Minion of Set reviews
She's finally become a shinobi, after years of acting the fool. Well, mostly acting anyway... FemNaruto. NaruSasu. Please Read and Review. I think you'll be surprised. Indefinite Hiatus.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 159,410 - Reviews: 1047 - Favs: 2,212 - Follows: 2,109 - Updated: 1/15 - Published: 6/5/2008 - Naruko U., Sasuke U.
Noriko: Tails of a Fox by Aljan Moonfire reviews
The shinobi of the Elemental Nations knew that having power was dangerous - dangerous for your enemies, at least. Some even acknowledged that it could be dangerous for yourself and for your village as well. But having power was a good thing, right? They didn't know that it could be painful too. Uzumaki Noriko would teach them that lesson. Rewrite of Noriko:TB. Rated M to be safe.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 25,042 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 477 - Follows: 647 - Updated: 10/7/2013 - Published: 6/23/2013 - Itachi U., Naruko U.
Senju Legend by Kyoka Suigetsu Totsuka reviews
The Senju Clan had always been revered as the most powerful Shinobi Clan in the Elemental Nation, but in recent years their numbers had dwindled down to almost nothing. As the son of Jiraiya and Tsunade, as well as heir to the Senju clan, how will Senju Naruto revive his once dominant clan, and reshape the world to his image. Powerful Mokuton Naruto! Strictly Naruto x Kushina!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 91,142 - Reviews: 1036 - Favs: 2,198 - Follows: 2,097 - Updated: 8/8/2013 - Published: 2/14/2013 - Naruto U., Kushina U.
Guardian of Fire by Agni reviews
Starting over is never easy. Creating a new identity, facing different challenges isn't easy at all. Naruto must do all this because he must correct the mistakes of the present by traveling to the past. GEN, Time Travel.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 80,830 - Reviews: 2058 - Favs: 5,761 - Follows: 6,219 - Updated: 4/24/2013 - Published: 11/27/2008 - Naruto U., Minato N.
NARUTO: Student of the Killa Bee by Bonesboy15 reviews
What if Naruto was raised by Killer Bee and his brother A? What if Naruto became a rapper? How would this affect his life as a shinobi for Kumogakure? Eminem-inspired Naruto. No longer a harem.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 20,378 - Reviews: 261 - Favs: 766 - Follows: 663 - Updated: 1/12/2013 - Published: 1/24/2011 - Naruto U., Yugito N.
Naruto: Myoushuu no Fuuin by May Wren reviews
A seal had managed to defeat and imprison the Kyuubi no Kitsune, the strongest demon to ever exist. It was just ink on paper-or a stomach, as the case may be-and it held so much power… 'Yeah,' Naruto decided 'I gotta get me some of that.'
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 92,529 - Reviews: 3915 - Favs: 10,866 - Follows: 10,217 - Updated: 7/16/2012 - Published: 1/28/2011 - Naruto U.
The Lives Worth Saving by cywsaphyre reviews
Naruto, at 26, has lived through 10 years of war. At the end, with nothing left to call home, he sends himself back to the beginning, to the day of his younger self's graduation, in an attempt to change it all. Time travel AU.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 133,545 - Reviews: 3210 - Favs: 8,905 - Follows: 8,786 - Updated: 5/6/2012 - Published: 2/3/2012 - Naruto U.
Second Love is Best by sarhea reviews
Set in Modern day Japan. Uzumaki Narumi's first romantic relationship with an Uchiha didn't last or end well, but the second one did and exceeded all her expectations. And Sasuke learns a hard lesson. COMPLETE : AU, genderbender, genderswap, fem!Naruto
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,180 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 577 - Follows: 154 - Updated: 12/26/2011 - Published: 12/18/2011 - [Itachi U., Naruko U., Naruto U.] - Complete
Brave New World by May Wren reviews
Naruto saved the world, died in the process, then woke up anyway. But the strangest part was when the dispelling technique didn't dissolve the genjutsu. Because when the Yondaime was alive and well, what else could it be but a genjutsu?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,438 - Reviews: 307 - Favs: 1,150 - Follows: 1,550 - Published: 6/30/2011 - Naruto U., Minato N.
Ibiki's Apprentice by May Wren reviews
The Academy's teachers thought they were getting one over on the Hokage, graduating an ill-prepared Naruto while Iruka was sick. The Hokage knew he was getting one over on the entire village when he assigned Morino Ibiki as Naruto's Jounin sensei.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,419 - Reviews: 926 - Favs: 4,785 - Follows: 1,732 - Published: 2/27/2011 - Naruto U., Ibiki M. - Complete
Salutary Neglect by Thundereaper reviews
The Weak Man Writes the Stories. The Free Man Decides their Place in it. The Wise Man Knows How it will End. But it is the Strong Man who Writes the Epilogue.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 39,551 - Reviews: 569 - Favs: 1,312 - Follows: 1,350 - Updated: 11/13/2010 - Published: 2/22/2008 - Naruto U., Tayuya
Sick Day by Elfpen reviews
The facts: One, Will is sick. Two, it's time for the annual Ranger Gathering, and Will isn't going to miss it. So, can the ranger apprentice use his honed skills, wit, and charm to pull a case of the flu unnoticed past Halt? Well, Will seems to think so.
Ranger's Apprentice - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 17,249 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 271 - Follows: 95 - Updated: 5/29/2010 - Published: 7/8/2009 - Will - Complete
This Time Around by Crimson Skies reviews
A six year old Sasuke wakes from a nightmare...but Itachi wouldn't really kill the clan, right? As for Naruto, well, maybe he won't be so alone...this time around.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 56,871 - Reviews: 4223 - Favs: 5,970 - Follows: 6,090 - Updated: 1/20/2010 - Published: 6/29/2005 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
The Dichotomy of Namikaze Naruto by Thundereaper reviews
What lies behind the Shiki Fuuin? Who is Naruto, really? Told from the Mizuki incident onwards, a new Naruto emerges, smarter, stronger, and better. Female Kyuubi. NaruXFemKyuuXFemHakuXTentenXHinataXIno.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 276,934 - Reviews: 3720 - Favs: 5,563 - Follows: 4,924 - Updated: 8/21/2009 - Published: 1/25/2007 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama
The Demon Fox, Kyuubi by Thundereaper reviews
What if Iruka had tried to kill Naruto on that night? Where would Naruto be now? Naruto as the embodiment of Evil, as a Demon, as Uzumaki Naruto, Demon Fox. Dark, lots of death and stuff
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,445 - Reviews: 205 - Favs: 404 - Follows: 156 - Updated: 10/8/2006 - Published: 10/3/2006 - Naruto U., Orochimaru - Complete
Dear Foolish Little Brother by solderini reviews
Like all good boys, Itachi writes home occasionally.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,061 - Reviews: 1741 - Favs: 4,656 - Follows: 531 - Published: 4/2/2004 - Itachi U., Sasuke U. - Complete
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Naruto of the Six Paths reviews
The one who is worthy will be seeked by my swords of Creation and Souls. The one will be granted all my powers. With those words, Rikudō Sennin made a prophecy, one that will change the entire history of Narutoverse. Well, duh, this is fanfiction. T, for violence, language, and maybe sexual content. Might be pairings, god-like Naruto. Rinnegan Naruto.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,925 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 12/31/2012 - Published: 12/28/2012 - Naruto U.
Shinigami Naruto reviews
The Kyuubi wasn't the only thing sealed inside Naruto, when the Yondaime sealed half of the Kyuubi into himself, part of the Shinigami's power mixed with the foxes. What happens to our blonde shinobi now? Smart, strong Naruto. NaruXHarem pairing. Rated M for violence and language. Maybe sexual content.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,699 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 116 - Updated: 12/16/2012 - Published: 12/3/2012 - Naruto U., Haku
The Tale Of Uzumaki Naruto (My Version) reviews
Naruto is a ninja, but nooo, not any ordinary ninja, an Uzumaki-Namikaze ninja. That, plus the fact he is the Nine-Tails Jinchuuruki.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,194 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 10/27/2012 - Published: 9/4/2012 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama