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Joined 09-05-12, id: 4241456, Profile Updated: 05-15-15
Author has written 1 story for Grey's Anatomy.

Inspiration for Take On Me: While I am pretty much your typical college student, I am facing some "out of the ordinary" challenges. I have a condition called enteric neuropathy, a neurodegenerative disease that affects the function of the digestive tract. Unfortunately, this is a condition that I have come to know intimately. After many years of struggle, I was diagnosed with enteric neuropathy in 2010. This condition has compromised my ability to digest food and I am dependent on TPN (IV nutrition) for all of my nutrients. Over the years enteric neuropathy has affected the function of some of my other organs. Currently my heart, esophagus, stomach, small intestine, large intestine, bone marrow, and bladder are effected. I have additionally been diagnosed with Autonomic Neuropathy, Hemophagocytic Lymphohistiocytosis, and I additionally have an unknown mitochondrial DNA mutation.

I am writing Take On Me to raise awareness for people with chronic medical conditions. Every little bit of awareness is a step in the right direction. Despite my challenges and the challenges of others like me, we continue to fight everyday for our dreams.

TV: Grey's Anatomy & Doctor Who. That's it. Mostly. I enjoy documentaries, especially medical documentaries (I am a neuroscience major, after all).

Reading: I will read pretty much anything, although I particularly enjoy non-fiction. Fanfiction is my guilty pleasure.

Comments: Love them. But, I won't write for them. I'm just not that person. Though, if you take the time to read and review I am very grateful for that.

Updates: ... updates will come as they come. I have standards that everyone else regards as perfection, and yes, I am picky. I've decided to write for me, not to hit publish or receive comments and I want to stay true to that. I put A LOT of thought into each chapter and I want to do right for the characters, and sometimes that means it takes an extremely long time before updates. Plus every time I give a time frame, I never meet it and then I feel like a liar.

"The best books come from someplace deep inside. You don't write because you want to, but because you have to. Become emotionally involved. If you don't care about your characters, your readers won't either." -Judy Blume



TAKE ON ME: AU MerDer. It is basically a story about overcoming your demons and learning to believe that even through the most atrocious odds there is light. It is about true love. And breaking rules and healing. I have put a lot of myself into this story.

Meredith has been dealing with a significant medical problem for the majority of her life and in the beginning of the story she is very guarded and very hopeless as to how she is going to piece herself together enough to accomplish her dreams. The only way she sees living her life as possible is if she avoids and ignores and denies her problem—which ultimately does not work. In the beginning she is really struggling, and she can’t come to grips with the idea that nothing in her life has ever made sense and she can’t see the point in pursuing what feels to her like a lost cause.

Meredith is desperately trying to ignore the fact that no one really knows what is wrong with her and I am trying to focus on all the ways that she is adapting. I think that's a good word-- because a lot of times, in regards to people with illness, their lives are viewed in one of two ways. They are either sick, or healed. Dying, or cured. There is no middle ground, no adaptation. So, the biggest thing to remember about Meredith is that she is constantly adapting to whatever her body is doing at any given moment. She is trying to learn how to live.

The story line vaguely follows Season 1, though is set in present time. She still meets Derek Shepherd, though it’s not at Joe’s bar and it definitely does not start off sexual. She’s still Bailey’s intern and she still shares a house with Izzie and George. Ellis Grey does not Alzheimer’s and she is still a very successful surgeon living on the East coast. Meredith and Richard Webber still have a lot of unseen past that I am planning to explore in more detail, too.

Her relationship with Derek is a little more bizarre because of how they met and the dynamic of him being her teacher, her boss, but initially her doctor. Even though their doctor/ patient relationship is eliminated very early on, he still takes a special interest in her as a person, despite their teacher-boss/ student relationship. Meredith grapples a lot with trusting him. It's a process for her trusting him with her thoughts, her feelings, and especially her fears. They have an unusual friendship that she keeps hidden. When it comes to trusting Derek, Meredith has been in positions where she's let people in and they've taken advantage, or have used her fears against her. She does not really completely trust anyone and she doesn't see herself as lovable. Right now, Derek is helping her. As she comes to be more involved with him, she finds his concern for her strangely overwhelming. She does not understand why he wants to be so involved and why he’s sticking around. She had learned throughout her life that she wasn't worth it. That no one would want to stick around her because she was too much to put up with, this is a huge feature of the relationship she has with Ellis. And then she meets Derek. And he wants to be around her, and he wants to help her. He cares for her. And in many ways, she can’t let herself believe in him, because all throughout her life, everything that her mother had done for her came with a string attached. She does not want to get attached to him, but she is. And that’s scary for her.

Meredith lives with the constant belief that she is a burden. She lives with the constant belief that she isn't worth it. But what she doesn't realize is, no matter how much she perseveres she is still a victim of her disease. Because she thinks that it makes her untouchable. We all know that isn't at all true, but that is the aspect of her growth that is a huge part of this story.

I'm looking forward to developing this character and seeing how she chooses to overcome a lot of the burdens that she is faced with. I hope that I relay her strength and her vitality as she adapts. Because she is strong, and she’s already overcome so much. Right now she's not in a very good spot, and there will be many instances that she isn't.

This story is entirely fiction, except for the parts that aren't.

UPDATE 3/04/2015: TAKE ON ME has been EXPANDED, because I didn't like the direction that it was taking. Suddenly, it became something difficult to write and as I got further along with it I didn't feel like I was staying true to the characters. I didn't like the implications involved with Derek being Meredith's doctor, and while he has opinions about the neurologic aspects of her condition, I found him falling for his patient a bit of a stretch and something that was out of character for him. While he has still started off in the role for her doctor, I want to stress here that he is not her ACTING physician. I do not support real life romantic relationships between doctors and patients. Just thought I'd put out that disclaimer.

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Find me a match by mandyg67 reviews
Derek returned to NY with Addison to give his marriage another try after the prom, but a call from Dr. Bailey brings him back to Seattle.
Grey's Anatomy - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 50 - Words: 109,969 - Reviews: 352 - Favs: 181 - Follows: 280 - Updated: 11/10/2016 - Published: 7/29/2014 - Derek S., Meredith G.
Hope Is The Thing With Feathers by CileSuns92 reviews
Post S8 finale, hiatus story. Meredith and Derek rediscover the importance of family after the plane crash and the death and despair it brought with, and they learn how to move on. T-rated for occasional swearing. FINALLY COMPLETE!
Grey's Anatomy - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 83 - Words: 323,988 - Reviews: 1131 - Favs: 244 - Follows: 277 - Updated: 6/10/2016 - Published: 9/15/2012 - [Meredith G., Derek S.] Zola S. - Complete
Thinking Over by TurnMyGriefToGrace reviews
Mainly a MerDer story. Maybe the other characters. My Season 4 continuation after 4.11 in which I attempt to fix things. Hopefully a good healing fic. Enjoy.
Grey's Anatomy - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 179 - Words: 819,829 - Reviews: 3475 - Favs: 528 - Follows: 532 - Updated: 2/20/2016 - Published: 1/10/2008 - Meredith G., Derek S.
Recover by AriaAdagio reviews
11x21 Fix-it. MerDer. One shot. What if Derek's not actually brain dead? [ReVerse Series #1][COMPLETE]
Grey's Anatomy - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,863 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 20 - Published: 4/27/2015 - [Derek S., Meredith G.] - Complete
If That's What It Takes by GCatsPjs reviews
How a little girl stole everyone's heart M/D
Grey's Anatomy - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 138,439 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 6/20/2012 - Published: 1/21/2012 - Derek S., Meredith G. - Complete
Take On Me reviews
AU MerDer. Meredith Grey has been dealing with a significant medical problem for the majority of her life. This story is based on my reality & the reality of many of my friends who battle chronic multifaceted medical issues. It was originally published in 2012 & has since been expanded and rewritten. See my profile for a longer description!
Grey's Anatomy - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 45,952 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 2/21/2013 - Published: 9/17/2012 - Derek S., Meredith G.