Dougie Zerts
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Joined 07-23-03, id: 424197, Profile Updated: 03-04-14
Author has written 37 stories for Mary Tyler Moore Show, Get Smart, I Dream of Jeannie, Batman, Dick Van Dyke Show, That Girl, Bob Newhart Show, 1972, StarTrek: The Next Generation, Taxi, M*A*S*H, I Love Lucy, Fantasy Island, and Laverne and Shirley.

I think fanfiction is a great idea. Imagine we can write our own plots for our favorite movies and TV shows!

Now, if only they could be filmed!:)

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Adrian Mole Writes by Candle Light by DJA66 reviews
Adrian Mole writes his secret diary during a power cut. A tribute to Sue Townsend, a fine comic author whose death has just been announced.
Adrian Mole series - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 356 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/11/2014 - Adrian M., Father, Mother, Mr Lucas - Complete
The Bathing Suit by kehwie reviews
Tag to the episode "Off to Florida." A very belated birthday gift for GeneaLady. (At least I'm still in the right month-barely!)
I Love Lucy - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 550 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/30/2013 - Complete
His Kiss by Anybodys reviews
Normally, Jeannie was the one that kissed Tony, and Tony never was the one that kissed Jeannie. But there's a first time for everything.
I Dream of Jeannie - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,547 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/15/2013 - Tony N., Jeannie - Complete
Milk And Pepsi by autumnrose2010 reviews
Laverne's ode to her favorite drink.
Laverne and Shirley - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 174 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/25/2012 - Complete
Distancing by Qoheleth reviews
Drabble. Everyone thought it was just because of the censors...
Dick Van Dyke Show - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Published: 8/13/2012 - Robert P., Laura P. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Mary and Rhoda's Car Wash
Many of you will remember the two-second clip of Mary washing her car, that appeared during the closing credits. I thought I'd write a story about that!
Mary Tyler Moore Show - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 481 - Published: 5/17
That Girl in the Fountain reviews
This story is based on an actual dream that I had. In it, Ann Marie and two other girls were wading barefoot in a fountain. The three of them wore short dresses.
That Girl - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 678 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/3 - Ann - Complete
First Kiss reviews
Every romantic couple has one-and Smart and 99 are no exception!
Get Smart - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 505 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 1/8 - Complete
Smart Treasure Hunt reviews
Max and 99 retreave a document detrimental to KAOS. This features two very special crossover guests most of you will recognize immediately!
Get Smart - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 717 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12/28/2014
Cat's Therapy
As a part of her probation, Catwoman must see a psychologist! This makes a reference to another Batman/Catwoman story I have here.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 850 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/16/2014 - Bruce W./Batman
Dr Steele's Heat Resistant Pills
Dr Steele, CONTROL's sexy scientist/chorus girl, invents a new drug, and gets Smart and 99 to try it out. Dr Steele is a character I feel should have been used more often.
Get Smart - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 750 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/9/2014
Wake Up, Little Shirley! reviews
Uh Oh-After a drunken party, Shirley and Carmine wake up to find themselves in bed together! My apologies to the Everly Brothers, although I did incorporate some of the song lyrics in this! A bit adult, so hence the rating.
Laverne and Shirley - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 568 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11/8/2014
Major Healey's Birthday Confession reviews
On his birthday, Roger reveals to Jeannie why he's a confirmed batchler.
I Dream of Jeannie - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 614 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/25/2014 - Roger H., Jeannie - Complete
That Boy
An "alternative universe:" What if Ann worked for Newsday, and Don was the struggling actor! In this story, she gives him a little pep talk. Contains a little bit of mild profanity.
That Girl - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 300 - Published: 8/24/2014
Smart Entranceway reviews
What happens to Smart after he falls down that "phone booth?" This satirical story tells you!
Get Smart - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 499 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/16/2014 - The Chief, Max S./Agent 86, Agent 99 - Complete
Get Yer Own Genie! reviews
Jeannie gives Tony a very special back massage.
I Dream of Jeannie - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 307 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/2/2014 - Jeannie, Tony N., Roger H.
Muddy Mary! reviews
Mary covers a new service at a local spa-and gets to try it!
Mary Tyler Moore Show - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 607 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/22/2014
The Girl at the Fountain reviews
A guy sees, and gives aid, to, a mysterious girl at a fountain.
Get Smart - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 542 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/21/2014
Murray's Vacation
Like my earlier Special Guest, this is more of a joke than a story!
Mary Tyler Moore Show - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 69 - Published: 4/20/2014 - Complete
The Bra Commercial
When I was a kid-in the late 60's-I saw a bra ad. It showed, I recall, actress Jane Russell jumping into a swimming pool with her clothes on! The point was to prove that the bra wouldn't show through no matter how wet the wearer got. This story is my tribute to that!
That Girl - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 578 - Published: 3/29/2014 - Ann, Don
Fantasy Island Appliction Form
What would it look like? Here's my idea!
Fantasy Island - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 229 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/23/2014 - Complete
The Restaurant Incident reviews
Sometimes, a romantic encounter isn't all that it seems to be!
Get Smart - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 284 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/23/2014
Grapes for the Wine reviews
For once, Ricky lets Lucy be a part of the show. Unfortunately, her vanity gets the better of her!
I Love Lucy - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 544 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/22/2014 - Complete
Data the Masseur Part 2 reviews
A sequal. Data tries out his talents on Dr. Crusher!
StarTrek: The Next Generation - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 446 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/9/2014 - B. Crusher, Data, D. Troi
Lou Quits Drinking
A new station manager lays down the law-no more drinking at work! Lou doesn't like this very much. . . .
Mary Tyler Moore Show - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 677 - Published: 3/4/2014 - Complete
Margret's Little Problem reviews
Margret has an embarrassing little problem, and must turn to Hawkeye for help!
M*A*S*H - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 414 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/16/2014 - Hawkeye P., Margaret H. - Complete
Strange Bedfellows!
Murray wakes up to find himself in bed with. . . !
Mary Tyler Moore Show - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 633 - Published: 2/2/2014 - Complete
Simka's Seduction
Remember the 2-part episode where Latka has an affair and he and Simka's priest tell them they should make up for it by her having an affair? They decide to throw a party and whichever man arrives last is the one she'll choose. Alex was the last man. Well, what if things were different; what if Louie was the last man! (This is a rerelease. I made a couple of changes to it. )
Taxi - Rated: T - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 402 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/29/2014 - Complete
Data the Masseur reviews
Data learns massage, and tries it out on Counselor Troi.
StarTrek: The Next Generation - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 682 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/25/2014 - D. Troi, Data, W. Riker
Dunk Tank Mary reviews
When Ted has an attitude problem, Mary takes over-and gets all wet!
Mary Tyler Moore Show - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 439 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/18/2014 - Complete
Emily at the Airport
Once again, her fear of flying gets the better of her!
Bob Newhart Show, 1972 - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 475 - Published: 12/14/2013 - Complete
Special Guest reviews
Not really story, more of a joke!
Mary Tyler Moore Show - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 68 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/14/2013
Man-to-Man Talk reviews
Lou Marie and Don Hollinger have one!
That Girl - Rated: K - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 296 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/26/2013 - Don, Mr. Hollinger
Laura Does Yoga
A little slice of domestic bliss.
Dick Van Dyke Show - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 569 - Published: 10/13/2013 - Robert P., Laura P.
Sally Gets Hypnotized
And gets herself in big trouble!
Dick Van Dyke Show - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 513 - Published: 10/12/2013 - Alan B., Sally R., Robert P., Mel C. - Complete
Who Is the Batman? reviews
An editorial that was published in the Gotham City Journal on Octobor 4, 1940.
Batman - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 290 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/5/2013 - Complete
Jeannie Drinks Champaign reviews
And causes a scene!
I Dream of Jeannie - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 786 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/29/2013 - Jeannie, Tony N. - Complete
Batman and Catwoman's Mud Match! reviews
Batman and Catwoman engage in some mud 'rastling!
Batman - Rated: T - English - Crime/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 820 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/27/2013 - Bruce W./Batman, Selina K./Catwoman - Complete
Tony's Dream reviews
Tony tells Jeannie a crazy dream he had. She makes it come true, and once again, she gets him in trouble with his boss! (This has some mild "modern" profanity. Hope none of you mind!)
I Dream of Jeannie - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 756 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/9/2013 - Jeannie, Tony N., Dr. Bellows, Amanda B. - Complete
Tony and Jeannie's Food Fight! reviews
Tony goes on a date, and Jeannie gets jealous. This results in a food fight!
I Dream of Jeannie - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 726 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/11/2012 - Tony N., Jeannie - Complete
A Matter of Microchip reviews
99 has a special mission-transport a microchip with damaging information on KAOS, and deliver it to the Chief.
Get Smart - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 728 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/27/2012 - Agent 99, Max S./Agent 86 - Complete
Ted's Breakdown reviews
When Ted gets some bad news from his wife, he has a nervous breakdown-and gets a little wet! Mary also has to get wet to save him!
Mary Tyler Moore Show - Rated: K - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,031 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/8/2012 - Complete