Pardon My Focking French
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Joined 09-15-12, id: 4258442, Profile Updated: 02-01-13
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.

Where is there a place better to expose myself than where I post my most personal fantasies and shed light on the deepest, darkest corners of my mind?

My name is Delaney. I am the product of an Irish/black mother and full-out German father. I'm an interesting looking mutt who often babbles and drools over her two prettier-than-perfect little princesses – my baby girlz, with a 'z' because they have sass.

I'm single and staying that way for a while. All I need right now is my favorite girlies, my ear-biting feline familiar, and my spaz-attack lightening-striking green laptop. And my best of all buds.

I love poetry, biographies, and FANTASY. I make up my own words. I mesh words together. I will write in any way my mood sees fit.

I view Vanessa Carlton and Taylor Momsen as poetic Goddesses and Eminem as the ultimate lyricist.

Your idea of crazy is my idea of living.

Imperfection is beauty,madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.

-Marilyn Monroe

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Distorted Shadows by MythicalRift reviews
Bella has been seeing things that she cant really explain. She has decided to move back to forks in hopes that the creatures that have been appearing would leave her alone. Her plan backfires when she finds out that the Cullen's are a family of vampires. Now she has to find a way to face her fears not only of the creatures, but of the Cullen's as well.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 18 - Words: 99,113 - Reviews: 437 - Favs: 414 - Follows: 555 - Updated: 1/27 - Published: 12/7/2012 - [Alice, Bella]
The Transformation of Isabella Marie Swan by Elphaba Cullen reviews
ADULT Bellice. Takes place immediately after the movie Eclipse ends. Bella is forced to look long and hard at her life and her decisions. What will she choose and who and most importantly what will she become? Rated M for language, violence and sex. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 38,654 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 198 - Updated: 12/28/2013 - Published: 11/13/2011 - Alice, Bella
Little Green and Easybella by BettiGefecht reviews
She only remembers a silent kid, he doesn't remember her at all. When they meet again years later, they feel a connection that isn't of this world - - - ExB; AH; Rated M. Autism; age gap; unconditional love.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 38 - Words: 137,423 - Reviews: 5573 - Favs: 3,017 - Follows: 3,329 - Updated: 10/15/2013 - Published: 10/20/2010 - Edward, Bella
Sideline Collision by Nolebucgrl reviews
A cocky QB runs into a snarky band geek. What happens when they collide on and off the field? Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 196,343 - Reviews: 12332 - Favs: 7,671 - Follows: 6,198 - Updated: 4/11/2013 - Published: 2/15/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
State of Love and Trust by SpaceFlan reviews
Twilight meets Singles! It's the 90s, and Bella is nursing a broken heart while thwarting the affections of her boundary-challenged best friend, Alice. Could the next Eddie Vedder be the balm she needs to learn to trust again? Collab between BellaFlan and MrsSpaceCowboy. AH, E/B, Comedy/Romance
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,764 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 79 - Published: 1/26/2013 - Bella, Edward
xoxo, Edward by Marvar reviews
It's the 80s, they're in high school, and everyone is wearing really bad clothes. Edward tries to woo Bella with words on notebook paper. Can he convince her that he's her man?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,396 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 54 - Published: 11/28/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Edward and the Bed by tara sue me reviews
My take on what happened at the Cullen house the day Edward bought a bed. One-shot.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,058 - Reviews: 872 - Favs: 1,515 - Follows: 252 - Published: 7/30/2008 - Complete
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Closets Are For Clothes reviews
She's too shy, too scared, and too invisible to make a move. With the help of her pesky, no-business-minding best friends, can this closeted wallflower finally have the picture perfect popular princess she has admired from afar for three years? Or will religious fanatics, opinions, and high school put an end to something that could be beautiful before it even starts? Temp. hiatus.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 37,386 - Reviews: 191 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 3/4/2013 - Published: 1/7/2013 - Bella, Alice
Awry reviews
Blind dates. Douchey men. Failed dates. Dive bars. Snobby friends. Scheming for payback. Hot guys. Crazy car lovin'. Tis the way of life. Don't cry when things go awry, push on through and show them jerks who's who. Slight humor, lots of adventure.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,814 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 11/29/2012 - Published: 11/23/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete