Author has written 6 stories for Naruto, Halo, Hellsing, Assassin's Creed, Mass Effect, and High School DxD/ハイスクールD×D.
Hey, names AC but ya'll can call me T. Don't like, then to damn bad.
My likes are the sun, moon, stars, nature in general and anything that interests me.
I dislike haters, corny chick flicks, and destruction of nature.
My hobbies are abtaining new knowledge, laughing to a good comedian, swimming, and video games.
Age: Old Enough
Believes the only way to end a fight or war is to prevent one.
Sic vis pacem, para bellum. = If you want peace, prepare for war.
Speak softly and carry a big stick, you'll go far. By Teddy Roosevelt.
"There is a fine line between sanity and insanity, and I have white out" - me
"In War - Victory, In Peace - Vigilance, In Death - Sacrifice" - The Grey Wardens (Dragon Age Origins)
B.O.H.I.C.A.: Bend Over Here It Comes Again
F.U.B.A.R. : F#cked up beyond all recognition
H.U.M.A.S.: Head Up My @ss Syndrom
S.N.A.F.U. : Situation Normal All F*cked Up
A.D.O.S.D : Attention Deficit Oh Shiny Disorder
F.O.C.U.S. : F*ck Off Cuz Ur Stupid - T-shirt
D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F. : Do I Look Like I Give A F*ck!
F.E.A.R.: Fuck Everything And Run
N.A.V.Y.: Never Again Volunteer Yourself
M.A.R.I.N.E.: Marines Always Ride In Naval Equipment
Challenges any who are ballsy enough:
1. This idea is a Naruto fic. Naruto is a butler for a wealthy family. Can be wealthy civilians, shinobi clan (preferably ones that take care of themselves more than others and clan can't be Hyuuga), or a Daimyo/King/etc. Naruto is brought in to be a 'play mate' for their daughter(s) and son(s). This is basically combing Walter C. Dornez from Hellsing and Niles from the Nanny. Meaning Naruto will have the wit and humor of Niles and the patience, manners, and skills of Walter. Whether he uses the strings is up to you.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get compuer!)
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')
After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!)
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)
Pics to Characters/weapons/clothes:
*Doton: Dowafu-o no Yoroi: Earth style: Dwarf Kings Armor. It conjures an almost indestructible armor made of rock on the user. Able to survive that is low A-Rank and below. Doesn't hamper speed, agility, flexibility, etc. Listed as a high A-rank to low S-rank jutsu on the amount of chakra used to make it and how durable it is.
*Fuuton: Kamikaze: Wind style: Divine Wind. Makes an invisible boundary around the user that doubles all the positive attributes of wind jutsu inside the boundary such as size, strength, speed, etc. and halves all the negatives such as chakra cost, backlash, etc. Listed as an A-rank jutsu for its effectiveness and chakra cost to maintain. NOTE: Need to be above jonin level chakra reserves to even use it and DO NOT use against another wind user, then it will become a double edged sword.
ZODIAC SIGNS (Bold your Zodiac Sign) -
AQUARIUS - The Slut (1/20-2/18) Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to Have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
PISCES - The Addict (2/19-3/20) EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationship. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
LEO - The Cool One (7/23-8/22) Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, Fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you'll ever meet! Very beautiful. Amazing. however not the kind of person you wanna mess with... u might end up crying... 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
CANCER - The Smart One. (6/22-7/22) Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being In long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
ARIES- The Irresistible One (3/21-4/19) Nice Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
SAGITTARIUS-The One that Waits (11/22-12/21) Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always Wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Beautiful. Goofy. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 Years of bad luck if you do not repost.
TAURUS- The Aggressive One (4/20-5/20) MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great at telling Stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
LIBRA - The Partner for Life (9/23-10/22) Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
CAPRICORN - The Cute One (12/22-1/19) Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. EXTREMELY SEXY. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Has lots of friends. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Also not a fighter, but if they have to, they will also knock the lights out of you if it comes down to it… Cool. Loves to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
SCORPIO - The Gorgeous One (10/23-11/21) Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Best kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. Amazing in bed. A caring person. One of a kind.Gorgeous Smile.Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
VIRGO- The Promiscuous One (8/23-9/22) Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
GEMINI - The Liar (5/21-6/21) Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships. Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck if you do not repost.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE:
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered for having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent that aren't, copy this, put it in you profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, Weasel Chick, Revenant666, dragonsroar, foxdude33, FallenLex, Soelle, Akihiro Asamoto, Corvin, 9tail_Naruto, FlameKaiser, NoNameNeeded, Kyuuki-sama, Seraph of Shadows, The Six Paths to Pain, Dregus, The Lone Swordswolf
Who Am I?
I am the boy...that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the boy that people look through when I say something. I am the boy that spends most of his free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the boy that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the boy that doesn't spend all his time on MySpace, or talking about cars, girls or sex to his firends. I am the boy that hasn't been asked out in a year...or ever. I am the boy that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and slash in the rain.
But I am also the boy who knows and is proud to be who he is, doesn't care if people call him weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express himself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and paste this to your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the people who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.The First Kitsukage, Twilit-Lloyd, Dregus, The Lone Swordswolf
True friendship- This is not by me, but someone else.
#1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bast#rd who made you sad.
#2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
#3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.
#4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
#5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
#6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
#7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
#8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy @ss.
#9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".
FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella. BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say, "RUN, BITCH, RUUUUUUUUN!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, "Holy shit we fucked up" and then "We're doing this again next week"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried... just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days, then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad... here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the crowds' colective ass that left you.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'M HOME!"
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy/girl rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
I don't care if you're gay or straight, everybody needs love.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
Please read this:
This is a true story. All schools have a class clown, someone that gets on everyones nerves and that no one likes. There was one of these boys in this one school. Nobody liked him at all. He had no friends, the teachers hated him for his disruptiveness, and the students found him annoying beyond belief. He never seemed to care. One day, he had finally stepped on his teachers last nerve. What the teacher did was make everyone in the class stand up and tell the boy something they didn't like about him. As each of the thirty students stood up and said something about him they didn't like, he only sat and didn't seem to mind. All of the students did it.
That day, when school was out, the boy went home, grabbed his dads gun, and shot himself in the head.
If you think that the teacher was to blame, and that what she did was morally wrong and completely shameful, copy and paste this into your profile. Then, if you would have been the one to stand up and say "I'm not going to do this" then add your username to the list. Antire5, EmoWolves of Shadow, Killercat-nya, Juura99, LoveUntilWeBleed, SoapMaster, Bast14, NarutoXKyuubiXlovers21, The Lone Swordswolf
IF YOU IGNORE THIS WITHOUT READING IT YOU HAVE NO HEART...BUT IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART.
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)
Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with something so much you even scare yourself copy & paste this into your profile
If sometimes your fanfics seem to write themselves, copy this into your profile
If you are the kind of person who gets excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile (definitely)
If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this in your profile.
If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table then put this on your profile.
If you have ever lied to get out of something and then kept up said lie for months/years despite the fact that the time for any sort of repercussions for your actions passed quite a while back then paste this into your profile.
If you are one of the few teens who don't have or want to have a myspace/facebook, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you have forgotten what you were going to say right before you say it, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you support the Yaoi/Yuri filter for the story search engine, paste this into your profile!
If you think Masashi Kishimoto is ruining Naruto and agree, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. The Fifth Rider of Armageddon, Hiroshima Namikaze, Zaara the black, desuta, Reikson, D-reaper X-20, blackstardragon624, chinoodin, The Silver Blossom, RasenganFin, Raidentensho, Knives91, Kingkakashi, DarkSamuraiX1999, THE HEE-HO KING, Wirespeed91, Naruto 21, GraityTheWizard, GuyverZero, durwin, Hakkyou no Yami, VFSNAKE, Stormrunner56, Haru Kitsune, DragonMaster4381, Demon Wraith, SCoTTieTheeReSeaRCHeR, darkvizardking69, The Swordslinger, Albert da Snake, The Rage of Fire, The Lone Swordswolf
Repost this if you agree with it.
The male equivalent of the 10 Commandments
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss’s car. (d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into “The Crying Game”. (e) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy’s choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she’s officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach… and it’s delivered by a topless model and only when it’s free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything.
16: Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that’s just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she’s withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights: a) Yeah, Baby, Push it! b) C’mon, give me one more! Harder! c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly “just a friend” have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question “What do you want for Christmas?” with “If you loved me, you’d know what I want!” gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men’s Gymnastics. Ever.
The Situation in Hell
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today
Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you believe and God and Jesus Christ is His son...
Then copy and paste this into your profile
If you believe in Jesus Christ, put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says 'If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven'.
If you believe in God, repost this please;
One day, a teenage girl about 17 years old went to here friend's house for a party. She ended up staying longer than she intended to. When she left to walk home, it was dark out, and she was alone. She prayed to God for protection. As she walked on, she came across an allyway in the direction her home was in and spotted a man on the other side standing, as if he was waiting for her. She prayed to God once more and gained a comforting, safe feeling. She walked down the ally, passed the man, and made it home saftly. The next morning, she looked in the newspaper and discovered a young girl had been raped in the same ally twenty minutes after she passed through it. Nowing that the girl that was raped could have been her, she cried. She went to police station to point out the man from the ally. Imedietly after she identified him, he broke down and confessed. She asked the police men if she could ask the man one question before they took him away. She asked why he didn't rape her when she passed by. He said it was because two grown men were walking on either side of her.
Murphy's War Law
1. Friendly fire - isn't.
2. Recoilless rifles - aren't.
3. Suppressive fires - won't.
4. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.
5. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
6. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
7. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.
8. If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.
9. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
10. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.
11. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
12. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
13. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.
14. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: -when they're ready. -when you're not.
15. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.
16. There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
17. Five second fuses always burn three seconds.
18. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
19. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping. The Ol' Ranger's addendum: Or else they're trying to suck you into a serious ambush!
20. The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.
21. The easy way is always mined.
22. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
23. Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire... For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.
24. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
25. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.
26. When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.
27. Incoming fire has the right of way.
28. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
29. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
30. If the enemy is within range, so are you.
31. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
32. Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.
33. Things that must work together can't be carried to the field that way.
34. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.
35. Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather (and especially during both).
36. Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.
37. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.
38. Tracers work both ways.
39. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take.
40. When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.
41. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
42. Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
43. Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.
44. Weather ain't neutral.
45. If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed toward you.
46. Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground. 'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go.'
47. The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
48. Napalm is an area support weapon.
49. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
50. B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon.
51. Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.
52. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
53. The one item you need is always in short supply.
54. Interchangeable parts aren't.
55. It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.
56. When in doubt, empty your magazine.
57. The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
58. Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
59. If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
60. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
61. The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
62. Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.
63. Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel's HQ.
64. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
65. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
66. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.
67. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
68. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss.
69. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
70. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
71. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
72. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
73. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
74. If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.
75. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism (in boot camp).
76. Air strikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
77. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.
78. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.
79. The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want.
80. To steal information from a person is called plagiarism, to steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
81. The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60.
82. The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that bill is filled by someone else.
83. When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack, when you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night.
84. The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor.
85. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
86. Murphy was a grunt.
87. Beer Math: 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.
88. Body count Math: 3 guerrillas plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals 37 enemies killed in action.
89. The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
90. All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather.
91. The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance.
92. The crucial round is a dud.
93. Every command which can be misunderstood, will be.
94. There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.
95. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
96. If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you, if your ambush is properly set the enemy won't walk into it, if your flank march is going well the enemy expects you to outflank him.
97. Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
98. Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.
99. The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.
100. The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness).
101. There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
102. Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.
103. The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel.
104. Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands right at your feet.
105. As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.
106. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
107. The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.
108. Walking point = sniper bait.
109. Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day.
110. If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.
111. No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
112. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
113. The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
114. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
115. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
116. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
117. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
118. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
119. There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you... and miss.
120. Don't be conspicuous; in the combat zone it draws fire, out of the combat zone it draws sergeants, if they can see you, so can the enemy... All or any of the above combined.
121. Avoid loud noises, there are few silent killers in a combat zone.
122. Never screw over a buddy; you'll never know when he could save your life.
123. Never expect any rations; the only rations that will be on time and won't be short is the ration of shit.
124. Respect all religions in a combat zone, take no chances on where you may go if killed.
125. A half filled canteen is a beacon for a full loaded enemy weapon.
126. When in a fire fight, kill as many as you can, the one you miss may not miss tomorrow.
127. It is a physical impossibility to carry too much ammo.
128. If you survive an ambush, something's wrong.
129. If you can see the flashes from the enemies' guns in battle, he can see yours too.
130. Flashlights, lighters and matches don't just illuminate the surrounding area; they illuminate you too.
131. Just because you have nearly impenetrable body armor and a hard-ass Kevlar helmet, doesn't mean you don't have exposed areas.
132. There are few times when the enemy can't hear you: When he's dead, you're dead, or both. Addendum: When he's not there, when you're not there, or both.
133. Never cover a dead body with your own in hopes of looking like you're one of the casualties. Even using his cadaver is a stretch to avoid being shot "just in case."
134. You're only better than your enemy if you kill him first.
135. Never underestimate the ability of the brass to foul things up.
136. You have two mortal enemies in combat; the opposing side and your own rear services.
137. You think the enemy has better artillery support and the enemy thinks yours is better; you're both right.
138. Three things you will never see in combat; hot chow, hot showers, and an uninterrupted night's sleep.
139. "Live" and "Hero" are mutually exclusive terms.
140. Once you are in the fight it is way too late to wonder if this is a good idea.
141. NEVER get into a fight without more ammunition that the other guy.
142. Decisions made by someone over your head will seldom be in your best interest.
143. Sometimes, being good and lucky still is not enough.
144. If the rear echelon troops are really happy, the front line troops probably do not have what they need.
145. If you are wearing body armor they will probably miss that part.
146. Happiness is a belt fed weapon.
147. Having all your body parts intact and functioning at the end of the day beats the alternative.
148. If you are allergic to lead it is best to avoid a war zone.
149. Hot garrison chow is better than hot C-rations which, in turn, are better than cold C-rations, which are better than no food at all. All of these, however, are preferable to cold rice balls even if they do have little pieces of fish in them.
150. A free fire zone has nothing to do with economics.
151. Medals are OK, but having your body and all your friends in one piece at the end of the day is better.
152. Being shot hurts.
153. Thousands of Veterans earned medals for bravery every day, a few were even awarded.
154. There is only one rule in war: When you win, you get to make up the rules.
155. C-4 can make a dull day fun.
156. There is no such thing as a fair fight -- only ones where you win or lose.
157. If you win the battle you are entitled to the spoils.
158. If you lose you don't care.
159. Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow, what is important is what you are doing -- NOW -- to solve our problem.
160. Always make sure someone has a can opener.
161. Prayer may not help . . . but it can't hurt.
162. Flying is better than walking, walking is better than running, running is better than crawling. All of these, however, are better than extraction by a Med-Evac even if it is technically, is a form of flying.
163. If everyone does not come home none of the rest of us can ever fully come home either.
164. Carrying any weapon that you weren't issued (e.g, an AK) in combat is NOT A GOOD IDEA! -A combat vet will know the sound of an unfamiliar weapon in an instant and will point and shoot. -Not only that, AKs use green tracers which mean "shoot 'em all and let God sort them out".
165. As has been noted, "Friendly fire isn't!"Evac even if it is technically, is a form of flying.
Stupid Racist People...
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him. The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "When I was born I was black," "When I grew up I was black," "When I'm sick I'm black," "When I go in the sun I'm black," "When I'm cold I'm black," "When I die I'll be black." "But you sir..." "When you're born you're pink," "When you grow up you're white," "When you're sick, you're green," "When you go in the sun you turn red," "When you're cold you turn blue," "And when you die you turn purple." "And yet you have the nerve to call me coloured" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!
If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.
RACISM IS WRONG!
I'm sorry that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you
I'm sorry That I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk
I'm sorry That my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants
I'm sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised
I'm sorry That I'm not cute enough to be "your guy"
I'm sorry That I am actually nice; not a jerk
I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things
I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club
I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy.
I'm sorry That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date
I'm sorry That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy
I'm sorry That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend
I'm sorry If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around
I'm sorry If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work
I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.
I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care
But most of all
I'm sorry For not being sorry anymore
I'm sorry That you can't accept me for who I am
I'm sorry I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world.
I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...
I'm sorry That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.
I'm sorry That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.
I'm Sorry That I cared
I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
- If you could read that, put it in your profile