The Noble Platypus
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 07-30-03, id: 429012, Profile Updated: 02-01-09
Author has written 16 stories for Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter, Lost, Doctor Who, and Castle.

I think it's about time I updated this thing.

So! I am a halfway-to-fifty-year-old person in possession of two x chromosomes and living in the lovely state of Minnesota. I have a cat who entertains me in countless ways, and a prodigal roommate who entertains me chiefly by arguing over the phone with his parents in Korean. I am unhealthily obsessed with soundtracks and Threadless t-shirts. I love Doctor Who, Battlestar Galactica, and anything ABC has canceled lately.

I will be visiting the UK this spring and, with any luck, seeing Patrick Stewart and Sir Ian McKellan in "Waiting for Godot." If it happens, it will be the highlight of my young adult life. No number of superfluous exclamation points can adequately convey my excitement, so I will limit myself to one!


A huge thanks to everyone who put me on their faves list, and huge-er thanks to everyone who is still actually reading what I put out nowadays!


My livejournal can be found at , for anyone who is interested.

My fanfics are backed up at as well. If they've disappeared from here, you can find them there.


Favorite Quotes

"Do not be alarmed... be very, very frightened, Arthur Dent." ~Hitchhiker's Guide series

"You multiple-me murderer!" ~Also Hitchhiker's Guide

"Procrastinate now. Don't put it off!" ~Ellen DeGeneras

"Heinekin: Australian for beer." ~Carmen

"It's 25:L... what the... wait... flips digital watch over it's 7:52." ~Me

"I don't have any snakes! I think I should get another turn because I suck!" ~Me (playing pick-up snakes at a friend's house)

"I think he's looking at me!"
"Well, I think you're a liar. A dirty liar!" ~Me and my friend Katherine, looking at the big Newsweek photo of Orlando Bloom)

"There's absolutely nothing sexually threatening about an elf." ~Orlando Bloom (from aforementioned Newsweek article)

"Holy shit! I just realized I can count to ten in Japenese!" ~Me (and I can!)

"Smoked bacon. That is what I want." ~Me, at Perkins, trying to make myself understood to the stupid waitress

"Where's the bathroom? And by bathroom, I mean lemonade." ~Crazy friend Bob

"I don't babble, I elaborate!" ~Katherine

"My soul is crying! And angry! My soul is crying, and it has a knife!" ~Katherine

"You're looking a little fuzzy, my fuzzy demon friend!" ~Gaby, intoxicated, looking at me in my red polar fleece sweater from across the room

"Do you know why I'm not racist? Because I'm black!" ~Gabs, same night as the above quote, prank calling some people... and she's caucasian.

"If dead Mr. Rogers was rubbed down in Vick's vapor rub, I would SO do him!" ~Gabs, same night, talking about how Vick's vapor rub turns her on... a lot.

"Sometimes when I'm putting oranges in a circle, I think of my thoughts and they make me laugh!" ~Winona Ryder as Bjork on SNL Celebrity Jeapordy

"Honey, we need to talk. Let's go to the playground." ~ Me, commenting on two people Kath and I saw at a playground who looked a bit too old to be there, "not like, 'oh I'm in high school' old, like marriage counseling old!"

Legolas: (as Melody) Stop making fun of my daddy! Just because he’s evil and treacherous and beats me with a spatula doesn’t mean I don’t love him!

Gandalf: "Thusly, I would ask that you would be awoken and that you would be bitchslapped henceforth." ~ both from "Legolas Brings the Smackdown," a mst fanfic from veryverygay. Everyone read it! SO FUNNY!

"Oh, if you break something, I will SO turn your bitch-ass in!" ~Randi, to drunk boys outside our hall (in bitter mood because we were all fined 25 bucksfor a broken bench)

"This could have been a good story... too bad you made it a PORNO!" ~Me, commenting on a very smutty fic I had the misfortune of finding

"I don't like penises OR vaginas... I like PIE!" ~Gabs... need I say more? I don't even think she was tipsy.

"I'm not grading the squiggles!" ~Dr. Kirk, the music theory prof, after the class started making too big of a deal over a trivial little thing.

"There once was a man from Nantucket... who DIED!" ~Me, in poetry class, after the prof told us that an elegy should not rhythmically sound like a limerick.

"You're the maddest pink highlighter-tin-whistle-billy-boyd-jamming girl ever!" ~Kath, after I told her about a crazy dream I had.

"I gotta get off my lazy bum and watch some anime." ~SailorKatoChan

"I seriously think I drinked all my brain shells away." ~Gabs, perfectly sober

"Theowy is ouw fwiend!" ~Dr. Kirk, amazingly enough. Now I feel vaguely cheated; I'm finishing theory just when he's starting to get funny.

"I've been reading a lot of stuff about pop and how bad it is for you, so my New Year's resolution is to quit. Absolutely. 100. From now on, no more reading." ~Coach Lindquist

"You can paint the walls
To hide my pen
But the shithouse bandit
Strikes again!"
~Seen on inside of bathroom stall at Dunwoody

"He has the kneecaps of a god! Sing to me, Adonis! Take off your pants and sing to me!" ~Me... sigh.

"Stop corrupting my monkey!" ~Me, at dinner, wearing a stuffed monkey around my neck and objecting to the topic of conversation.

"I know how to take care of my own monkey, thank you very much!" ~Me again, same time and place, reacting to someone saying that I was smothering my monkey when really I was covering his virgin ears.

"I don't much care for nasty bananas." ~The Roomy, holding up a pretty nasty banana that was sitting in our fridge.

"They have a spider-baby!"
"A spider-baby?"
"Yes! It has the body of a spider, but it's actually a baby."
"Well... does it have the head of a baby?"
"Uh... no."
"Did they put a nappy on it or something?"
"... No."
"Well, if it looks like a spider, and it doesn't gurgle at you or anything, how do you know it's actually a baby?"
"... They keep it in a pram."
~Father Ted, the best show EVER! EVER!

"It's like that stuff they taught us at the Seminary, heaven and hell and everlasting life... you're not meant to take it seriously, Ted."
"Yes you are!"
"What, heaven and hell and everlasting life?"
"Yes, of course!"
~Also Father Ted

"So... God! Does he exist? Who knows? Personally, I don't even believe in organized religion. But the spider baby... it's got the body of a spider, but the mind of a baby... but it wouldn't really bite ya... at least, not until it got a bit older..."
~Dougal from Father Ted... such a wonderful obscure British comedy...

"Sometimes the best things come out of your ass." ~Katherine

"Damn Rastafarian elephants..." ~Katherine

"It's a party in my mozzarella stick bowl, and no one's invited but ME, bitches!" ~Me, at Perkins, quite sleep-deprived

"Where are you, creativity?" "I'm right here, I'll dance for you!" ~Julian and Katherine

"Shouldn't her pants be at half mast?" ~Me, after seeing a woman with pants that looked like the American flag

"It's like they say... you can lead a dog to water, but you can't make him poop in it." ~Lance, at work

"I'm like a wet painting: don't touch me!" ~Me, in response to a lengthy comparison Minty made between herself and a painting

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Sev's Diary by Vanyaria Darkshadow reviews
Oh my... you have stumbled across Snapes diary... can you REALLY resist a peek? 3 Please check out my band, Mina's Veil - we've written a song about the amazing Professor Snape called The Silver Doe You can find us on Facebook, Bandcamp, Tumblr, YouTube and Patreon. If we get enough support we will be working on a new album, music videos (and more fanfiction!)
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,970 - Reviews: 215 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 4/6/2015 - Published: 2/3/2003 - Severus S.
Diary of an Undercover Sue by Hirilnara reviews
An ISPCE spin off, based on a new theory that fangirls are not created as a story is posted, but that they are being trained in some school. Watch what happens when one poor agent gets sent in undercover!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 48,283 - Reviews: 327 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 7/22/2013 - Published: 11/26/2003
Looking For My Heart by rainbowrites reviews
In which Natasha is a witch and Clint's useless in a fight. That is, just because your heart's outside your body doesn't mean people see it (Loquis lands on Clint's nose, and spreads her wings like a gossamer mask. "Oh baby," she laughs, "we're all monsters here.")
Crossover - His Dark Materials & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,308 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/1/2012 - Black Widow/Natasha R. - Complete
Every Wish Would Be Heard by kerithwyn reviews
For Lincoln it's another world, full of promise. Post-4x20, with revisions. [Lincoln/alt-Liv]
Fringe - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,813 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/5/2012 - Alt-Livia, Lincoln L. - Complete
Pirates of the Ring by Aelaer reviews
Complete. Jack, Gibbs, Anamaria, Will, and Elizabeth sail to Middle-earth; their presence can only have a direct impact on its future. POTC and LOTR. LOTR movie and book verse; follows canon established in first POTC film only.
Crossover - Lord of the Rings & Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 43 - Words: 211,801 - Reviews: 586 - Favs: 391 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 9/1/2010 - Published: 9/1/2003 - Aragorn, Capt. Jack Sparrow - Complete
Secret Diary by Lorraine Anderson reviews
An unlikely survivor of the Titanic is rescued from captivity by a mysterious blonde stranger. Date on this file was 1999, so I was amused to see that the main character was named Margaret Knoble - related to Donna Noble?
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,707 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/19/2010 - 5th Doctor - Complete
Do You Solemnly Swear by timewalker05 reviews
It's Kate Beckett's worst nightmare come true. The DA wants Castle to testify at a murder trial. And the cross-examination doesn't go exactly as planned. By popular request, NOW UPDATED WITH A SECOND CHAPTER
Castle - Rated: K+ - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,980 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 6/29/2010 - Published: 2/26/2010 - Kate B., Rick C. - Complete
Purgatory by Alydia Rackham reviews
The full story of what life was like for Peter and Sylar while they were imprisoned behind The Wall-their struggle to keep their sanity and humanity as they realize the only way out is penitence and forgiveness. The Wall tag. NO SLASH COMPLETE!
Heroes - Rated: T - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 25,977 - Reviews: 197 - Favs: 210 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 2/16/2010 - Published: 2/4/2010 - Peter P., Sylar/Gabriel G. - Complete
Drinking Tactics for Nine Hundred Year Old Minors by riversrunthroughme reviews
“This is ridiculous,” said the Doctor at last, disbelievingly. “I’m nine-hundred and three years old. I shouldn’t be carded.” The adventures of Sally Sparrow and Eleven. Response to Jess L'Rynn's April Challenge II lulz!
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,324 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/16/2009 - 11th Doctor
The Sandman by The Tin Dogs Bollocks reviews
The Doctor and Donna find themselves unable to tell nightmare from reality after following a cryptic message picked up in the TARDIS; 'Reality is bending. Save our sanity. Save us from the Sandman'. COMPLETE.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Horror - Chapters: 20 - Words: 32,453 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 2/7/2009 - Published: 1/19/2009 - 10th Doctor, Donna N. - Complete
The AU Attack by The Tin Dogs Bollocks reviews
Apparently someone is not quite happy with the turnout on Bad Wolf Bay. A mysterious entity has dragged everyone back there with unsettling delusions to how it should have turned out. Featuring cameos from Captain Jack, Martha, Jenny and the Master.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,923 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/3/2009 - Complete
www haunted hospitals com by Scythe The Wicked reviews
Found on a website last updated 1998 now dead under “Melgrove Mental Asylum” was a page with an eerie story.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Horror/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,554 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/31/2008 - 10th Doctor
Verity by muhnemma reviews
A series of oneshots set during and after RotG from Numair's perspective. NumairxDaine.
Song of the Lioness - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 71,112 - Reviews: 486 - Favs: 193 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 8/27/2008 - Published: 8/4/2007 - Tortall
The Red Pill by TheVampirePenguin reviews
Post 'Journey's End.' Donna's different now, even if she can't remember why... Donna Gen
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,647 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/20/2008 - Complete
Laundry by kalirush reviews
When she was six, she met a man with a coat. When she was thirteen, she met a man who didn't age. When she was twenty, she met a man who couldn't die. Set in the interim between PotW and Torchwood.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Horror/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 10,899 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 7/14/2008 - Published: 2/20/2008 - Complete
Till Death Do Us Part by PadawanMage reviews
Donna Noble won't go quietly into the night, not if she has anything to say about it. Alternate universe take on end of 'Journey's End'.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,546 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/12/2008 - Complete
Long Way for a Shortcut by netgirly2k reviews
Obviously half-inching the TARDIS when the Doctor wasn't looking was not a decision they'd come to lightly. AU for Journey's End.
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,987 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 12 - Published: 7/12/2008
The Smallest Things by Kent Rigel reviews
Vague spoilers for Journey's End. White converse trainers and bananas... something was definitely very wrong and something might be very right.
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,507 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/8/2008 - Donna N. - Complete
A Little Problem by Leda74 reviews
A visit to the Mended Drum results in some unwelcome attentions for Donna and a whole lot of trouble for the Doctor. Discworld crossover.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 8 - Words: 9,270 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 6/12/2008 - Published: 5/27/2008 - 10th Doctor, Donna N., Sam Vimes, Wee Mad Arthur - Complete
The Highs And Lows Of Hair Care by Uh.yeah reviews
Basically silly. Some really random snippets, vaguely related to hair care, in honour of the Tenth Doctor's new hair...
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 19,309 - Reviews: 210 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 2/15/2008 - Published: 7/18/2006
A Life Less Extraordinary by Frostfyre7 reviews
Hired to steal a supposed alien from one of Paquin's top ringmasters, Mal Reynolds figures things are gonna go even less smooth than usual. Then a passenger calling himself 'the Doctor' shows up, and things go all manner of crazy...
Firefly - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 32 - Words: 105,503 - Reviews: 480 - Favs: 544 - Follows: 182 - Updated: 1/15/2008 - Published: 4/9/2007 - Complete
Babies can teach a lot of lessons by preety-lady-serenity reviews
Harry turns into a baby after an accident in Potions and Snape is assigned to become his gaurdian. But can Snape take care of a baby? And especially a baby like Harry? Alternative Universe, written before the HBP COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 34 - Words: 127,238 - Reviews: 2452 - Favs: 2,253 - Follows: 973 - Updated: 10/27/2007 - Published: 1/30/2004 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
The Fairy Necklace by fairjennet reviews
This was written long ago for Miss. Cam's badfic challenge. It's terrible on purpose. Cringe in horror as Legolas falls for the sue! Flinch in disgust as Elrond lusts after his reincarnated wife! Don't say I didn't warn you. Finally finished!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 9,070 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/9/2007 - Published: 1/20/2004 - Complete
Life Sucks by Honolulu reviews
Maria Lanosa's life sucks. Her family is gone and she's all alone. All of that changes when she somehow ends up in Middle Earth. She's not sure that's exactly a good thing. LegolasOC
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 31 - Words: 108,585 - Reviews: 358 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 7/25/2006 - Published: 6/20/2003 - Legolas
LotU: The Two Towers wink wink nudge nudge by Spoofmaster reviews
A Two Towers parody, sequel to Fellowship of the Bra. LotU stands for Lord of the Undergarments. Legolas is straight but dyslexic, Aragorn's filthy, and Frodo's a moron. Incomplete and no longer updating. Feel free to enjoy what's there, though.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 23,951 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 7/26/2005 - Published: 8/8/2004 - Aragorn, Frodo B.
What Happens When Frodo Swallows the One Ring by LegolasLover and GubblebumPony reviews
UPDATED AT LONG LAST! Psychotic rabbits, an attack sausage, Frodo swallowing the Ring, random character bashing, Aragorn's much needed bath, a missing boot, Gandalf yelling like crazy, Nazgul attacks and a million other things!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 19,158 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/7/2005 - Published: 1/3/2004
More Than Meets The Eye by Leo Cole reviews
After surviving an accident in which her boyfriend dies, Meryl and her dog become victims of a second car accident. She awakes to find herself in ME. Why does she hide her past from the Elves? There is more to her than meets the eye...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 79,211 - Reviews: 277 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 12/8/2004 - Published: 6/4/2003
For Every Evil by Mirrordance reviews
Complete. Legolas is a policeman in 2004. Though life's fallen into routine by now, he knows there's trouble ahead when he runs across the Fellowship and some old friends (and foes!) in new incarnations...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 42 - Words: 154,309 - Reviews: 1534 - Favs: 917 - Follows: 148 - Updated: 11/11/2004 - Published: 7/19/2004 - Legolas - Complete
Hunter in the Night by Star-Stallion reviews
Something is after the Fellowship... and it is taking them down one by one...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,497 - Reviews: 212 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/27/2004 - Published: 7/30/2003 - Complete
The Lay of Mary Sue by Tindomiel reviews
Shall I spin a tale of Princesses of old, maidens with flowing long hair? 'Tis a sad tragic tale, O reader, thou wilt see, of an overdone and cliched affair.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 511 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 9 - Published: 8/8/2004 - Complete
SueStock 2004: return of the Windbreaker by FreakyKat reviews
Spin of fo Marry-Sue mockfest:2003 What happens when the pissed of goddess of Mary-Sues turns on the one who made her? Well, we'll just find out won't we?
X-overs - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,104 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 7/26/2004 - Published: 4/7/2004
Hot Florida Summers by Meee reviews
Jack Sparrow is supposed to be sailing in the Caribbean. Then why is he in Jennifer's living room? This story has turned into a LOTRPOTC crossover. Ch. 13!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 23,481 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/13/2004 - Published: 9/22/2003
The Fellowship of the Bra by Spoofmaster reviews
The Fellowship of the Bra begin their quest to Mordor. Dyslexic elves, delinquent hobbits, pothead wizards, and horny future kings abound. It may sound like a slash or sex fic, but it isn't, because those suck. Complete!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 24,176 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/20/2004 - Published: 3/28/2004 - Frodo B., Aragorn - Complete
Cheating Darkness by Roseblade22 reviews
After a twist of terrible events, Legolas loses both his brother and his freedom. But can something good come out of all this? Kind of angsty. Please r+r!!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 58 - Words: 188,475 - Reviews: 764 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 5/26/2004 - Published: 4/27/2003 - Legolas
Fair Wind Or Foul by Ildera reviews
The sequel to A Silver Doubloon takes off right where I left you . . . Our heroes are on the trail of adventure, but what awaits them beyond the horizon? It's over guys, the end is nigh!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 79,179 - Reviews: 309 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/12/2004 - Published: 10/30/2003 - Complete
Last Stand by Mirrordance reviews
Concluded! The battle at the Black Gate leaves Legolas strange wounds that do not heal. He knows he is slowly dying & keeps it a secret, as he tours the fleeting mortal pleasures of the world before his last breath.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 21 - Words: 59,744 - Reviews: 490 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 5/4/2004 - Published: 4/16/2004 - Legolas, Eomer - Complete
Diary of a Pancake Fangirl by Hirilnara reviews
A fanfic based on a fanfic...You need to read Huinesoron's Pancakes to understand! - Finished, for now
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 12 - Words: 14,223 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/1/2004 - Published: 9/15/2003
The Games of the Gods, Book One: Setting the Board by vericus reviews
The last thing Rachel wanted to become was a tooperfect MarySue. But when she dies and gets transported to MiddleEarth with her friend, she finds she has little choice in the matter. Rating for language and being a MarySue with an attitude.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 80 - Words: 285,571 - Reviews: 2423 - Favs: 829 - Follows: 216 - Updated: 4/23/2004 - Published: 9/1/2003 - Glorfindel, Haldir - Complete
Pancakes! by Huinesoron reviews
Legolas makes pancakes! Fear him! Now including the 'Lost Pancake Tales' saga. PG for mild fantasy pancake-shaped violence.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 50 - Words: 44,696 - Reviews: 1203 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 3/11/2004 - Published: 3/5/2003 - Legolas
Until We Meet Again by Crystal Snowflakes reviews
[Chapter 15 - 0 out of 24 Revised] Sequel to ‘Elves Are Not Perfect’. To find true love and lose it in such a short time... Jessica and Legolas have both lost each other. Can fate be so cruel? Love will find a way if it is meant to be...but is it?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 64,370 - Reviews: 1148 - Favs: 215 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 3/9/2004 - Published: 8/26/2003 - Legolas
Escape by Mirrordance reviews
Concluded! Estel is lost during a tour with the Rangers and Legolas later finds him, without his memories & happily relieved of all his noble burdens, making the elf hesitate to bring him back to who he was.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 46,733 - Reviews: 265 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 2/25/2004 - Published: 2/4/2004 - Legolas, Aragorn
Final Truths: Well, Maybe Not by Writer From Rivendell reviews
What happens when a Mary Sue writer is made to take the place of her 'Sue? Nothing sane - that's for sure! Rating for mentions of suicide, abuse, Mary Sue make-out sessions, and pure squickiness.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,123 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/21/2004 - Published: 9/1/2003
New Protectors of the Plot Continuum by Anne Miliardo reviews
Anne and Kate, two Protectors of the Plot Continuum, follow in Acacia and Jay's footsteps in a tireless effort to rid Middle-Earth of Mary Sues. All hail the PPC!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 52,251 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/19/2004 - Published: 4/28/2003
The Stone and the Steward by Lady Wenham reviews
After returning to the White City to celebrate the completion of Minas Tirith’s post-war reconstruction, Faramir begins to fear that he has inherited Denethor’s propensity towards madness. COMPLETE.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 17,266 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/16/2004 - Published: 1/2/2004 - Faramir, Eowyn - Complete
The Unlikely Alliance by QueenOftheEggs reviews
Jack Sparrow didn't know what to expect when he rescued a half dead woman. He didn't expect an adventure that would lead him all over the Caribbean.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 38,845 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/7/2004 - Published: 8/6/2003
The Trouble With Lady Pirates by Tora Aykanami reviews
Darren Skyy, captain of the Dawning Twilight, does nothing more in this chapter than get introduced. Never fear though, more action is to come. Nothing ever happens till chapter two anyway.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,189 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 1/19/2004 - Published: 1/16/2004
Exile by Mirrordance reviews
Concluded! Legolas is exiled as a murder suspect. Aragorn goes out into the wild. Two warriors cross paths and embark on an adventure as one seeks to escape his past, the other to reclaim it. How Aragorn & Legolas met.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 38,082 - Reviews: 433 - Favs: 216 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 1/13/2004 - Published: 12/25/2003 - Aragorn, Legolas
Purple sky II: Life as it spins by Angelic Elf reviews
The sequel to purple sky. They have crossed the misty mountains, now, can Blythe face Lothlorien?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 32,862 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 12/18/2003 - Published: 10/28/2003
ISPCE, Protecting Elves Everywhere by Huinesoron reviews
The promised Ispace spinoff from Pancakes. Protect the Elves! Beat up everyone else! Yay!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,783 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/18/2003 - Published: 9/2/2003
Tempus Edax Rerum by Mirrordance reviews
Concluded! The Fellowship of the Ring runs across a time-traveling Legolas of the future whose mission is, strangely, to keep them from succeeding…
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 22,692 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 11/15/2003 - Published: 11/10/2003 - Legolas, Aragorn
A Silver Doubloon by Ildera reviews
Jack Sparrow just can't seem to stay out of trouble, can he? And this time, an old friend needs him to sort out troubles not of his own making . . . COMPLETE
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 37 - Words: 90,667 - Reviews: 218 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/26/2003 - Published: 8/17/2003 - Complete
Purple sky by Angelic Elf reviews
Blythe has inherrited the sword of Luthien and must complete the prophecy that goes with it. Can she do this before the dark queen tortures all she loves? Part 1 complete
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 41,364 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 10/25/2003 - Published: 8/9/2003 - Complete
The Tattoos by Meee reviews
A woman is found stowed-away on the Black Pearl. And guess what? She doesn't fall in love with Jack OR Will! Isn't that amazing in this world of Mary-Sues? Chapter 5: Dancing?
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,847 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 9/3/2003 - Published: 7/28/2003
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Blowing Off Steam reviews
In which Kate Beckett shoots at things for no real reason, to Castle's consternation.
Castle - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,648 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 5/20/2011 - Published: 5/17/2011 - Kate B., Rick C.
Freezer Burn reviews
In which Castle and Beckett attempt to survive two hours in cold storage with nothing but "mild hypothermia" to show for it. Rating for naughty language.
Castle - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,075 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 3/22/2011 - Published: 3/13/2011 - Kate B., Rick C. - Complete
The Pursuit of Sappyness reviews
The Doctor and his companion have a late-night discussion after a nightmare. One-shot.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,288 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/14/2010 - Donna N., 10th Doctor - Complete
Planet of the Plushies reviews
A Doctor Hooey adventure, and a bit of a crossover with The Velveteen Rabbit. The Doctor and Chrysanthemum visit a planet populated by surprising creatures, but what dastardly schemes lie beneath the fuzzy wuzzy surface?
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 14,806 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/3/2010 - Published: 5/10/2007
For A Good Time reviews
Martha accidentally gives out her old mobile number, and the Doctor receives an interesting call.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 560 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/27/2009 - 10th Doctor, Martha J. - Complete
Donna's Gift to Mankind reviews
Just a bit of crack that's been eating at me since the finale, featuring Ten and Rose.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 527 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 7 - Published: 9/17/2008 - Complete
Killing With Conversation reviews
It was only a matter of time before something triggered Donna Noble. Spoilers for 4.13, "Journey's End."
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,467 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 7/9/2008 - Published: 7/7/2008 - Complete
Spores reviews
Doubledrabble. Martha contemplates Time Lord reproduction.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 238 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/22/2007 - Complete
Full Moon reviews
Once a month, the Doctor changes. How will Martha cope?
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 122 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/21/2007 - Complete
Doctor Hooey reviews
Chrysanthemum's dull life is changed forever after meeting a pinstriped madman with an outrageous scarf. Chapter eight: it ends.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 14,875 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/6/2007 - Published: 1/31/2007 - Complete
Island of the Zombies reviews
AU S1. Chapter 8: Sayid disappears, and we can't have that. Jack's still an idiot.
Lost - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,152 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 10/10/2006 - Published: 2/25/2005 - Charlie, Hurley
A Very Mary Sequel reviews
[Chapter 19 up] Sequel to Mary-Sue Mockfest 2003! Celestina is up to her old tricks; this time sending OOC Legolas to Randi's university! How will she handle this unfortunate development? What will her poor roommate do?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 19 - Words: 46,686 - Reviews: 1004 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 4/6/2005 - Published: 1/10/2004
Being the Main Character is Hard reviews
Ethan Williams opts to go to Hogwarts after a flood of unimpressive mail from American Institutions. But being the main character has both perks and drawbacks. Rating to be safe.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 11 - Words: 37,814 - Reviews: 296 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 3/18/2005 - Published: 6/8/2004
Dave E Jones's Locker reviews
Chapter seven up, at long last! Barbossa sends Bootstrap Bill Turner down to Davey Jones's locker... and that is exactly where the half-drowned pirate ends up, in an offbeat kind of way... much to Dave E. Jones's dismay and annoyance. Please R&R!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,164 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/2/2004 - Published: 8/3/2003
The Madcap Adventures of Nigel Pivington Jones reviews
Chapter six up! An author's creation wrekes havoc in her favorite fandoms! It's officially become a crossover from heck, and the fellowship is lost in Hogwarts! OH NO! R&R!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,004 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/17/2004 - Published: 8/1/2003
The Epic Comedic LOTR Poem! reviews
Chapter three up! LOTR in one forking huge poem! Could be interesting, eh? I'm not taking this too seriously, so neither should you, but if you R&R it'll make me smile!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,811 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/13/2003 - Published: 8/28/2003
Staff of:
  1. The Tin Dog
    TV Shows Doctor Who