Griffalope
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Joined 10-08-12, id: 4297844, Profile Updated: 07-05-20
Author has written 3 stories for Assassin's Creed, Fablehaven, and Spirited Away.

Hello and congratulations to all the people who took the time to read this profile, it hasn't been updated in almost 10 years, but I'm too lazy to change it now so enjoy baby me!

For all the people who didn't take the time to read this...well since you aren't reading this I can safely say that you suck and are missing out. You're too deprived to even know that you're missing out. How unfortunate.

Anyway I'd tell you my name but you know what? There are these things called stalkers out there that can come find you. Not that I think any of you would dare to stalk me knowing the consequence would be walking away without important things like your arm. Or your face.

On to lighter subjects! Here's some stuff I'm supposed to write about myself:

Gender: female

Age: Wouldn't you like to know

Appearance: Blondish-brown hair, eyes that are a weird shade of green most of the time, height is 5'6, small hands and feet, luscious curves.

Location: Wherever the wind takes me...in a fiscally responsible manner.

Talents: Art (hmmm, I wonder where my pen name came from?), singing, dancing, acting, archery, writing, history, culture, mythology, randomness, bluntness, etc...

Non-Talents: Math, Science, politics, lying, sarcasm, flirting, miming (don't ask), knock knock jokes, sitting still, blowing things up with my mind (go watch Accepted), going to sleep, fearing stupid things like spiders or heights, being normal.

Personality: ... I think you've gotten a pretty good idea by now -_-

Things you have to know about me: I wrote this profile while I was a freshman in highschool and still struggling to come up with a sense of humor. And some self esteem. But sometimes I like the reminder of what I used to think was funny, and then laugh at it for not being funny.

Weirdest and Stupidest Things I've Heard and In My Recent Lifetime (a growing list):


"Hey, when you dry clean clothes, you don't use water right?"

"Come here and feel my nose."

"Don't be a butt-muncher!"

"Hey. Nice tits." (This from my very female and very not lesbian friend)

"Feel the artichoke! Be the artichoke!" (Home Ec teacher)

"When life gives you a lemon, throw the lemon at life's head and ask him what the hell you're supposed to do with only one freaking lemon."

"Daddy, do you even know where babies come from?"

"Shhh, do you hear that? That's the sound of you trying to hear something that isn't there, and succeeding."

"What's a citrus?"

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Destiny Derailed by Virtual Rose reviews
September 2nd 1976, sometime past 3:00am, Sirius Black's life takes a sharp detour when he finds a girl bleeding out on the floor of an abandoned corridor, wearing a broken time turner, and questioning why he isn't dead. (Cross posted on AO3)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 21 - Words: 93,906 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 416 - Follows: 674 - Updated: 3/17 - Published: 7/5/2021 - [Sirius B., Hermione G.] Marauders
The Transfer by Malindorie reviews
Mai Taniyama's transfer application to Cambridge University says she wants to study Parapsychology. Not on the application: a secret transfer that will bring Mai and Naru together and simultaneously tear them apart. Japan's SPR follows Naru to England...
Ghost Hunt - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 45 - Words: 291,053 - Reviews: 2520 - Favs: 1,536 - Follows: 1,615 - Updated: 10/20/2023 - Published: 1/14/2012 - Kazuya S./Naru, Mai T.
To Call A Place Home by missmusicluver reviews
Harry won the war. It's months afterwards and unexpectedly, he's literally picked up off the face of the world and shoved into another. One where Harry Potter died a long time ago. Where the Potter family's still fighting a war against a Dark Lord that's ruling the world one muggle murder at a time. They say he's their only hope. Harry doesn't really want in.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 23 - Words: 153,821 - Reviews: 3389 - Favs: 11,307 - Follows: 14,261 - Updated: 10/2/2023 - Published: 8/31/2013 - Harry P., Sirius B., James P., Lily Evans P.
Whiskey Time Travel by Sapper One reviews
When Unspeakable Harry Potter wakes up in 1978, he determines he's either A: In the past. Or B: In a mental hospital. At least the firewhiskey still tastes the same. Waiting tables at the Three Broomsticks, drunken death eater bar fights, annoying an attractive but pushy auror, and avoiding his mother's crush on him is just another day in the life of Harry Potter.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 39,211 - Reviews: 2430 - Favs: 14,993 - Follows: 18,456 - Updated: 3/5/2022 - Published: 5/7/2015 - Harry P., Amelia B., Nicolas F., Lily Evans P.
Strange Visitors From Another Century by Izzyaro reviews
The destruction of the time turners in the Department of Mysteries throws Harry, Ron and Hermione a thousand years into the past. There they meet the Founders of Hogwarts, who are not at all pleased about what has happened to their school. They decide that something must be done.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 29 - Words: 269,160 - Reviews: 3097 - Favs: 7,305 - Follows: 8,363 - Updated: 1/11/2021 - Published: 9/23/2012 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., Salazar S.
A Hundred Winks of Sunshine by Tsume Yuki reviews
In which Bella is confident, cheerful and striving for a happy (second) life. Cullen Clan, meet little Miss Positivity. (Self Insert)
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 73,486 - Reviews: 2168 - Favs: 5,721 - Follows: 6,040 - Updated: 8/2/2020 - Published: 5/28/2018 - [Bella, Jasper] Alice, Edward
Castle Ruins by lossehelin reviews
To a hungry vampire the smell of blood is intoxicating and the taste is pure ecstasy. The hunt is quick and the meal savored. For an older vampire with control such weaknesses no longer rule their existence. When that control is tested, however, by blood that cannot be ignored, weakness is the least of their problems.
Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 48 - Words: 361,242 - Reviews: 1099 - Favs: 509 - Follows: 533 - Updated: 4/26/2020 - Published: 8/24/2013 - [Kaoru, Kenshin] - Complete
Piece of Paper by gotosleeplove reviews
After Edward's departure Bella was left heartbroken and distraught. But a certain vampire pays her a visit with the need to apologize for a slip up that might have caused the entire mess. A single piece of paper could be the reason for the future to play out a lot differently than anyone expected. Jasper x Bella
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 25 - Words: 94,623 - Reviews: 842 - Favs: 1,934 - Follows: 2,198 - Updated: 10/23/2017 - Published: 3/9/2017 - [Bella, Jasper] Charlotte, Peter
Moonlight by Kittenshift17 reviews
*ONE SHOT* Coming to call on a werewolf hours before the full moon rises has unexpected consequences for the brightest witch of the age. Hermione never expected that Remus would ever let her get so close, but the allure of moonlight finally proves too much for the lycanthrope to resist. Remione.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18,046 - Reviews: 286 - Favs: 2,457 - Follows: 575 - Published: 8/5/2017 - [Hermione G., Remus L.] - Complete
Stolen Secrets and Shattered Dreams by FoxxyJ reviews
A NYC barman views his mind reading as an isolating cancer, until he meets a lonely 28yr old trying to escape her sad reality. His life is full of harsh lessons. Hers an uphill battle, so she never complains when a beautiful boy pushes her away time and time again. EXB AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 173,250 - Reviews: 4146 - Favs: 4,063 - Follows: 2,483 - Updated: 4/21/2015 - Published: 9/16/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
In Care Of by Fang's Fawn reviews
During the summer before sixth year, Harry finds an injured bat in the garden and decides to try to heal it...and an unwilling Snape learns just what kind of a person Harry Potter really is. No slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 47,029 - Reviews: 2307 - Favs: 13,097 - Follows: 4,567 - Updated: 2/3/2015 - Published: 3/16/2009 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Human by Melody Bellerose reviews
Naru's been gone for three years, and Mai is definitely not over him. With help from both Madoka and Lin, she's learned to master her abilities, and with Gene's help, she's able to do it unconsciously too. Then Naru comes back... and something has changed. Story based around the song Human by Christina Perri. R&R please.
Ghost Hunt - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 33 - Words: 129,253 - Reviews: 576 - Favs: 863 - Follows: 477 - Updated: 11/18/2014 - Published: 5/27/2014 - Kazuya S./Naru, Mai T. - Complete
I remain, Yours by Momatu reviews
Bella is unexpectedly given an antique desk that once belonged to Edward, and in it she finds a letter he wrote to his cousin in 1918. She responds and sets them off on a journey neither could ever have expected. Perhaps there are some things we aren't meant to understand, just accept... Will eventually contain character death - NOT Edward or Bella.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 50 - Words: 456,107 - Reviews: 4963 - Favs: 2,929 - Follows: 1,804 - Updated: 3/9/2013 - Published: 3/15/2012 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Letters to Corporal Masen by solostintwilight reviews
Writing to offer a bit of home to a soldier overseas, she discovers words can bind a friendship. Lonely in war torn Europe, he finds hope in letters from a stranger. What happens when the war is over?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 37 - Words: 89,350 - Reviews: 6817 - Favs: 3,318 - Follows: 1,829 - Updated: 11/11/2012 - Published: 8/26/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Written in the Stars by Lissa Bryan reviews
Edward is king of a dying race, his planet torn by civil war. Bella is abducted to become his bride. From college student to Queen... Can she learn to love this strange man and help save his people? AU/OOC, Rated M
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 33 - Words: 167,029 - Reviews: 8297 - Favs: 11,688 - Follows: 4,463 - Updated: 7/21/2012 - Published: 10/28/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Foreign Papers by javamomma0921 reviews
AU - Bella Swan is an expert in antique documents. When the paper trail she is following leads overseas and she finds herself enamored with an enigmatic man named Edward Masen, will her training be enough to help her solve the mystery surrounding him?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 149,817 - Reviews: 2814 - Favs: 1,675 - Follows: 1,362 - Updated: 2/13/2012 - Published: 1/28/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Leaves of Grass by Nauticalmass reviews
After returning from Italy, Bella's not sure if she can still love Edward. The next morning, she awakens in an unimaginable time and place: Houston, 1862. When she encounters a member of the Cullen family as a human, how far will she follow her heart? B/J
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 95,475 - Reviews: 6051 - Favs: 8,172 - Follows: 2,922 - Updated: 12/8/2011 - Published: 12/14/2010 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Beyond Time by TKegl reviews
After the Cullens leave Forks, a twist of fate lands Bella in Chicago in 1918. She thinks it's a second chance to build a life with Edward, but when she finds him, he's not quite what she expected. Can Bella create the future she's hoping for?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 295,570 - Reviews: 8859 - Favs: 9,024 - Follows: 3,445 - Updated: 6/4/2011 - Published: 2/17/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Moment Changes Everything by heavyinfinity reviews
Bella struggles to survive on her own after Edward leaves her. A chance encounter with Jasper will alter life for both of them. BxJ. Rated M for language, adult situations, and eventual lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 34 - Words: 240,643 - Reviews: 2876 - Favs: 3,505 - Follows: 1,534 - Updated: 2/4/2011 - Published: 2/23/2010 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
A Hero by Celebony reviews
Dudley begins to see his family in a different light. Warning: strong language and themes of child abuse. WINNER: Best One-Shot at Quibbler Awards
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18,108 - Reviews: 1582 - Favs: 9,834 - Follows: 1,677 - Published: 4/2/2008 - Dudley D., Harry P. - Complete
Desk Duty by mosylu reviews
A librarian's job is never done . . . especially not at Hogwarts . . . and especially when a certain toadlike High Inquisitor is nosing around.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,019 - Reviews: 1377 - Favs: 1,243 - Follows: 202 - Published: 10/11/2004 - Dolores U. - Complete
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Between Worlds reviews
After moving to the little blue house at the end of the street, Chihiro is led by a gnawing sense of loss and Deja vu to a mysterious local shrine, and the secret it has protected for hundreds of years. When greed threatens to destroy everything she now holds dear, Chihiro must rediscover all that she's lost in order to save what she's found and, if she's lucky, herself.
Spirited Away - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 11 - Words: 36,043 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 8/24/2023 - Published: 7/5/2020 - Chihiro O., Kohaku N., OC
How the Horse Saw It reviews
He had spent over 200 years living in endless darkness until she came, lighting up his world like a beacon. Like the sun he'd only had the chance to dream about. A moment of brilliant radiance in a dungeon that had never seen its equal. Bracken POV.
Fablehaven - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,554 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 11 - Published: 3/21/2015
Poison reviews
Neela Briar was brought up to be the perfect lady. Guess what?She wasn't. She was a tomboy with a dagger and an outspoken attitude. And to make things worse, she had a Redcoat officer trying to woo her every day. But what will she do when she happens to meet a certain man in a white hood? She finds herself stuck in the war behind the revolution.Will she be the poison or the cure?Oc
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 39,886 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 155 - Updated: 11/5/2013 - Published: 12/2/2012 - Connor K., Apprentice
Velf (3)