AkaneDied
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Joined 10-09-12, id: 4299784, Profile Updated: 02-09-13
Author has written 1 story for Team Fortress 2.

Zelda is unimpressed and has many fucks to give.

Thank you for visiting my profile. I guess I should mention that I am male and that I prefer to read crackfics, hatefics, and trollfics than all the fluff that unfortunately inundates this website.

Top 5 Favorites (in no particular order):
Anime: Cowboy Bebop, Samurai Champloo, Ghost in the Shell, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Studio Ghibli films
Books: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, A Song of Ice and Fire, Les Misérables, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Cartoons: Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Boondocks, Futurama, Adventure Time, Disney films
Comics: Garfield and Peanuts. I was never really a big fan of comics.
Games: Final Fantasy, The Legend of Zelda, Mario, Zero Escape, Fallout
Movies: Star Wars, The Usual Suspects, Brazil, Blade Runner, Seven Samurai
Plays: Really not my kind of thing, but I like Avenue Q only because the internet is for porn. Isn't that the truth, yaoi fangirls?
TV Shows: Breaking Bad, Doctor Who, The Twilight Zone, The X-Files, Star Trek

Status of my writings:
The Nonary Scheme - I am planning out the puzzles for this story. I think I will be ready by February. The chapter updates will soon become more regular. The chapters I've already posted will be revised.

I am always open to constructive criticism, so please speak your mind whenever you review whatever I write.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Less Wrong reviews
Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... Ch. 113, Final Exam.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 113 - Words: 623,004 - Reviews: 27408 - Favs: 15,392 - Follows: 14,196 - Updated: 2/28 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Hermione G., Tom R. Jr.
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH by Secondpillow reviews
Harry Potter eventually eats a sandwich and discusses life with a famous author.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 2,847 - Reviews: 1013 - Favs: 900 - Follows: 320 - Updated: 2/25 - Published: 8/27/2005 - Bellatrix L., Seamus F.
Harry Potter and the Nightmares of Futures Past by S'TarKan reviews
The war is over. Too bad no one is left to celebrate. Harry makes a desperate plan to go back in time, even though it means returning Voldemort to life. Now an 11 year old Harry with 30 year old memories is starting Hogwarts. Can he get it right?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 399,969 - Reviews: 12816 - Favs: 15,968 - Follows: 14,742 - Updated: 2/20 - Published: 10/28/2005 - Harry P., Ginny W.
The Silent Kingdom by Freedan the Eternal reviews
One year after the death of Ganondorf, Link finds everything he cares for torn from him once again. In the company of Midna and Princess Zelda, he must travel to a faraway land to find an ancient magic power to save not only Hyrule, but the world...
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 138 - Words: 961,774 - Reviews: 1572 - Favs: 987 - Follows: 813 - Updated: 12/28/2014 - Published: 1/30/2007 - Link, Midna
Jesus and Hitler: A Romance by Angkras reviews
Adolph Hitler travels back in time and meets a man who will change his life forever.
Bible - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,914 - Reviews: 1004 - Favs: 421 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 12/23/2013 - Published: 7/10/2010 - Jesus
Kingdom Hearts III: Brotherhood of Dark by DarthKingdom reviews
A few months after Xemnas's defeat, the trio recieves a letter from the king. Of course, things aren't over yet! My version of Kingdom Hearts 3.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 136 - Words: 476,758 - Reviews: 2224 - Favs: 538 - Follows: 362 - Updated: 8/20/2013 - Published: 4/26/2008 - Sora, Kairi
The Infected by Tokyo Sunset reviews
Eleven people, fifty million Infected, one sanctuary. All becomes irrelevant when your only choices are to live on or die trying.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Tragedy - Chapters: 31 - Words: 134,338 - Reviews: 190 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 6/18/2013 - Published: 1/1/2013 - Complete
The Mole: Saboteur's Island by krisetchers reviews
The Mole: The mystery continues! Ten players aim to complete a series of challenges, winning up to 500,000 coins in this tropical setting. But among them is a betraying secret agent, ruthlessly sabotaging their vacation. Can you uncover who is The Mole?
Mario - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 47 - Words: 237,648 - Reviews: 628 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 5/16/2013 - Published: 10/18/2008 - Complete
Soldier Tzu's The Art Of Fortress by KingdomOfThomond reviews
We know that Soldier quotes Sun Tzu rather badly, and this is what he would put if he had written The Art Of War. It covers everything, from following orders to the employment of Spy.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 11,349 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/10/2013 - Published: 11/26/2012 - Soldier - Complete
Comfortably Numb by Argeon reviews
The Scout, left near-dead from battle, searches for a way to end his pain. The Medic 'helps' out. Written purposefully for Write Some Moar!, reviews are appreciated!
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,435 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 7 - Published: 1/9/2013 - Scout, Medic - Complete
Blackout by Brazzlegirl reviews
When a sudden snowstorm leaves the RED and BLU teams stranded at Coldfront with no power and only a few rations left, it'll take working together to survive. But things will not be going as smoothly as they hope... Rated T for TF2
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 14 - Words: 33,892 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 11/20/2012 - Published: 10/2/2012 - Complete
Oh crap, I'm pregnant by child-of-szmanda reviews
Jesus cheated on his husband, Satan, with Nicolas Cage and is now in labour, about to give birth. Includes: MPREG, Slight Gore, M/M, crocs and Miranda Cosgrove. You have been pre-warned.
Bible - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 647 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 21 - Published: 8/24/2012 - Jesus, Satan
Paper Mario: The Temple of the Sun by that one little guy reviews
Mario goes on vacation in a far off country, where an evil villain's attack causes the world to be literally split in half. Now, it's up to our hero and his new partners to restore balance and save the worlds of Day, Night, and everything in between.
Mario - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 58 - Words: 248,471 - Reviews: 614 - Favs: 237 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 8/15/2012 - Published: 9/20/2009 - Mario, OC - Complete
Jesus and Friends by Dandelos reviews
Will Jesus make it out of this abusive Father x Son relationship or will the abuse finally take its toll on him physically and mentally?
Bible - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 523 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 2/1/2012 - Published: 6/11/2007 - Jesus - Complete
Never mention that fruit in my presence by AlwaysInADream reviews
People need to understand, statements like 'How long until there is trip/melon mpreg fanfiction' are like CHALLENGES to me.
Façade - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 102 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 18 - Published: 1/31/2012 - Trip - Complete
I'd do anything by Feeling-Grand reviews
Rigby is afraid. After having constant fights with Mordecai he's scared he's close to loosing his best friend unless he changes. But when a strange force offers Rigby the power to control Mordecai will he make the right decision..? FINISHED.
Regular Show - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 23,672 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 12/2/2011 - Published: 10/15/2010 - Mordecai, Rigby - Complete
Decline by AudreyMetalMouth reviews
Ten strangers. Two and a half days. One insane mystery man with only one goal in mind...to make them all pay. - Psychological Mystery - Now complete with an ending you never saw coming!
Crossover - Scooby Doo & And Then There Were None - Rated: T - English - Mystery - Chapters: 13 - Words: 37,858 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/27/2011 - Published: 3/25/2011 - Velma
Keeper of the Spatula by SOLmaster reviews
SpongeBob and friends journey to the Arctic Ocean to throw a possessed golden spatula into a volcano to destroy it. Will they make it before Plankton gets it or will its curse overcome SpongeBob? Read and Review. Complete!
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 51,130 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 8/5/2011 - Published: 3/14/2011 - SpongeBob, Plankton - Complete
Porthole 2 by I Really Hate Captchas reviews
I'm not even trying anymore.
Portal - Rated: M - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 317 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/29/2011
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Reward by TennisWriter456 reviews
Ganondorf is finally defeated, but Midna's gone. Luckily for Link, Zelda is there and ready to give him anything he chooses as a reward. But before he can tell her what he truly wants, a new evil rises. One that threatens everything they know...one that threatens everything they love...one that helps Link truly understand what he wants from Princess Zelda.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Adventure - Chapters: 55 - Words: 176,897 - Reviews: 1380 - Favs: 445 - Follows: 215 - Updated: 4/27/2011 - Published: 7/9/2010 - Link, Zelda - Complete
Another Film Discussion by MovieBoy reviews
Fresh off seeing T2 and reflecting on science-fiction cinematic history, Dante and Randall discuss the recent success of Avatar...
Clerks - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 492 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 7 - Published: 2/25/2011 - Dante H., Randal G. - Complete
The Room by DrSpiggster reviews
Possibly the greatest fanfiction you will ever read. -Tribute to Hans von Hozel, and Tommy Wiseau-
The Room, 2003 - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 150 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/8/2010 - Complete
A Poem by LSP by Jasmine899 reviews
A short poem written by LSP.
Adventure Time with Finn and Jake - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 87 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/19/2010 - Lumpy Space Princess - Complete
Final Fantasy IV: The Novel by Celes Chere reviews
Based on the storylines of Final Fantasy IV DS & FFIV: The After Years, this is the story of Cecil Harvey, a dark knight whose journey for redemption draws himself, his best friend Kain and his lover Rosa into a dangerous battle for their planet.
Final Fantasy I-VI - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 63,843 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 10/17/2010 - Published: 8/10/2002 - Cecil, Kain
The Fifth Act by Sinnatious reviews
Cloud has an accident with a Time materia. There are people to save, and for that, some people need to die.
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 38 - Words: 169,887 - Reviews: 2512 - Favs: 3,781 - Follows: 1,037 - Updated: 9/15/2010 - Published: 5/7/2010 - Cloud S., Sephiroth - Complete
ADVENTURE TIME by I Really Hate Captchas reviews
A tale of romance, justice, and most of all, Adventure. A literary masterpiece that all fans of Adventure Time should experience.
Adventure Time with Finn and Jake - Rated: M - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,453 - Reviews: 228 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 10 - Published: 6/22/2010 - Finn, Jake - Complete
Take Me Into Your Ark by RoboCop Jane reviews
Wild times in the old testament! A true stroke of genius from The Cop. Rated M... no, seriously.
Bible - Rated: M - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 897 - Reviews: 207 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 13 - Published: 5/9/2010 - Jesus, Noah - Complete
Basement by Midwich Cuckoo reviews
Jon has his dark side he hides from the world. What really happened to Lyman when he disappeared from the comic?
Garfield - Rated: M - English - Horror/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,166 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 9 - Published: 4/6/2010 - Nermal, Lyman - Complete
Ain't Afraid to Die by Cassandra reviews
Finally coming to grips with Spike's death, the Bebop crew are back to bounty hunting but Spike's sudden reappearance and a botched bounty force Faye to reconsider the life she leads especially when she is targeted by someone from her past. Updating.
Cowboy Bebop - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 43 - Words: 197,465 - Reviews: 743 - Favs: 327 - Follows: 154 - Updated: 2/5/2010 - Published: 4/24/2006 - Faye V., Spike S. - Complete
How Not To Write ATTWN Fanfiction by Jane Poirot reviews
Inspired by Fomalhaut's How Not To Write Titanic fanfiction: Exactly what it says on the tin, no false advertisement abound, so all aspiring ATTWN fanfic writers, read it and weep.
And Then There Were None - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,047 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/18/2009 - Complete
A Simple Twist of Fate by TheRealThing reviews
Destiny brings Darth Vader's twin son and daughter, who he has believed dead for ten years, into his life unexpectedly.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 123 - Words: 318,405 - Reviews: 3432 - Favs: 985 - Follows: 420 - Updated: 1/29/2009 - Published: 6/1/2008 - Darth Vader, Luke S. - Complete
The Mole: Traitor Aboard by krisetchers reviews
The Mole: Nine contestants work their way through physical and mental challenges to reach the grand total of 500,000 coins. But aboard the eight average players is an imposter, a traitor, a saboteur. Can you determine which one of them is the Mole?
Mario - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 41 - Words: 167,652 - Reviews: 368 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 9/15/2008 - Published: 6/7/2007 - Complete
A Black Comedy by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. Two years after defeating Voldemort, Harry falls into an alternate dimension with his godfather. Together, they embark on a new life filled with drunken debauchery, thievery, and generally antagonizing all their old family, friends, and enemies.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 31 - Words: 246,320 - Reviews: 5284 - Favs: 9,357 - Follows: 2,788 - Updated: 4/7/2008 - Published: 2/18/2007 - Complete
The Price of Infamy by Holly Jolly reviews
FINALLY COMPLETE!!! Five years after Lecter's escape, special agent Clarice Starling enlists the unwitting help of the only person to have ever captured the Doctor. Please R/R!
Silence of the Lambs/Hannibal - Rated: M - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 26 - Words: 97,302 - Reviews: 278 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/29/2008 - Published: 12/24/2002 - Complete
First Encounter by Lyris Malachi reviews
Hogwarts has contracted a disease called loneliness and the giant squid as the only cure. Hogwartsgiant squid
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,180 - Reviews: 333 - Favs: 338 - Follows: 33 - Published: 8/9/2006 - Complete
The Parody That Doesn't Use Alliteration by Trekkie S. Monster reviews
COMPLETE. A Parody. In case you haven't noticed. Of Book 12. Complete with sarcasm and whiny Brattylaires! Plus making fun of Lemony and the way he writes! Dumb dumb dumb! Enjoy the dumbness!
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 9,379 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 5/12/2006 - Published: 10/23/2005 - Complete
Final Fantasy VI: The Novel by Celes Chere reviews
This is a full novelization of Final Fantasy 6. Join Terra and The Returners, whose mission to overthrow a threatening Empire turns into a life-altering, world-shattering adventure. Complete & Uncut.
Final Fantasy I-VI - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 50 - Words: 300,295 - Reviews: 372 - Favs: 315 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 4/16/2005 - Published: 6/18/2001 - Complete
A Mary Sue Alphabet by Irony-chan reviews
A's for Amanda Our hero's twin sister Got lost as a baby and Gosh, how he missed her...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,497 - Reviews: 2630 - Favs: 6,197 - Follows: 389 - Published: 1/12/2005 - Complete
Jesus goes to Hogwarts by teh gr8 authur reviews
CHAPTER 4 IS UP! Bible Harry Potter crossover! What would happen if Jesus went to Hogwarts?
Bible - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,390 - Reviews: 229 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 4/3/2004 - Published: 10/15/2003
Legend of Zelda: The Return by Rose Zemlya reviews
Takes place after OoT with the assumption that Link lost all of his memories of the events in the game when Zelda sent him back in time. COMPLETE
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 42 - Words: 232,633 - Reviews: 1531 - Favs: 1,856 - Follows: 316 - Updated: 10/31/2003 - Published: 7/7/2001 - Link, Zelda - Complete
The Real Thornberrys by Soul Eater reviews
Well i hate this show so much so i made this, you dont like it, deal with it, muhahahahah find out what my twisted mind can come up with!! >:]
Wild Thornberry - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,900 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 8 - Published: 12/24/2002
Chrono Trigger by Magus523 reviews
A novelization of the video game.
Chrono Trigger - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 20 - Words: 146,813 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 12/2/2002 - Published: 2/8/2002 - Complete
The Thief's Tale by Margaret Rennie reviews
Locke Cole relates his life's story to Celes, telling of who and what he was before the Returners, and of the events that shaped the man who helped bring down an empire.
Final Fantasy I-VI - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 21,712 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 31 - Updated: 11/30/2002 - Published: 11/28/2000 - Complete
The best Hey Arnold fanfic Ever Written by Quexinos reviews
Helga decides to take Lila into her own hands. Rated R for gore and corse language. Evenryone should be happy with the ending. Read and review... if you feel like it
Hey Arnold - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,342 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/31/2002
Dream of the Devil by Margaret Rennie reviews
The events that led up to Celes' imprisonment, and the effect of her escape on the enemy side. Rated PG13 for mature theme.
Final Fantasy I-VI - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,063 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 14 - Published: 1/1/2001 - Complete
The Nonary Scheme reviews
Nine Hours, Nine Mercenaries, Nine Doors. The mercenaries' careers culminate with the Nonary Game: a game against time that puts its players' lives at stake without respawning. Based on 999. Adventure/Puzzle. Psychological Thriller. Only TF2 Characters. No OC. No Romance. Future M-Rating for Gore and Extreme Tension. CURRENTLY UNDER REVISION
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 3 - Words: 14,081 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/21/2012 - Published: 10/30/2012 - Heavy