Author has written 3 stories for Legend of Zelda, and Homer.
Greetings. You may all call me that horrid name of which I have used as my penname (and for the reasons mentioned in that little text box that pops up after you request to change your penname I haven't changed) or you may call me Ruby. Or you may call me That Person. Any is perfectly fine.
Do not ask for my real name. I will throw a magicked rock at your head which will instantly change you into a pony of which I will hand over to a little, abusive girl and say that you're the newest My Little Pony, fresh from the magical farm of talking animals.
Now then. How about some stats?
Age: 19 as of right now, this very second.
Race: Human, unless I'm mistaken.
Appearance: Varies with the stories told. Sometimes I can be a 12 foot cross between a leprecon troll with bulging muscles and flaming red hair with glasses the size of windowpanes stretched across my large face, or a 3 foot centuar with a tin-foil hat covering my head because I'm afraid of people reading my brain-waves. Use your imaginations people. Tis a gift.
Equipment: A magical rock. Be wary, it fears no one. It bites.
Personality: People have told me I'm nice. And friendly. And talkative. And shy. And aggressive when it comes to competition. And paranoid. And spiteful. Of course, sources of which these people have come upon this information isn't reliable, especially that bit about me being talkative. That was gathered by a babbling nitwit.
Academics- I am smart beyond your knowing
A swift hand- My artistic hand and writing hand are unparalleled. The thinness of my fingers gives them lightning fast reflexes, their actions almost as quick as the brain signals that order a specific action
Lies and Deciet- I am a master at lying. I'm sure by now, you've been duped by the beauty of my words. But of course, you have no choice but to believe everything I say for it is all the information you can gain on this paticular subject. Bwahahaha
Street Logic and Common Sense- I am dumb beyond your knowing
Power and Stamina- I have the tackle strength of an empty plastic bag adrift in the wind. I have the endurance of a pig swimming through the sky--it just doesn't happen.
Verbal Communication- Speaking words is simply too difficult for me. It is already difficult to render my brilliant ideas into words such as this that it is simply too troublesome to render it once more into the spoken word.
Summoning- Using my enormous yet wanting brain, I can conjure up warriors, provided I have an hour or two to create their profile, and perhaps another grueling hour to come up with their name to finish the ritual. They have abilities of which even I do not possess, however impossible that may seem. Many of them take on one aspect of myself as their distinguishing trait with other characteristics that help define them. And many of them have friends.
Materialization- A warrior becomes even stronger when I give them an image. Drawing out their appearance in a specialized artistic medium where, in combination with super secret technology and a mighty pen/tablet, magical tools in an omnipresent space intangible to the human senses aside from touch upon a keypad and sight upon a flat screen gives the character an instant boost in all stats as soon as it is flourished. They become god-like considering they appear god-like in their portraits.
Fabrication- Using that a special program similar to the magical, secret technology aforementioned, I can create complete worlds all complete with characters, connections between them, plots formed by cunning villains to destroy the world, devices in which said villains will destroy the world with, heroes to foil the plots and devices of the villains, and a Goddess to screw everything else up when things appear to bore her.
Reconnaissance- Using interfaces that come in the form of boxes varying in shape and color that eat discs and project images onto screens, I can gather much need energy and ideas provided I have many hours to myself with a controller in my hands with said interface. The discs I feed into the interfaces are usually that of the narrative kind, in which you take on the role of a single character and play their stories.