Author has written 2 stories for Naruto, and Sword Art Online/ソードアート・オンライン.
Looks: Ridiculously handsome (at least thats what I like to tell myself every morning)
Hi my name is Eric one of my favorite things to do is be a lazy bastard and sleep all day if i can, oh and my phone # is 1 7...yeah no im not gonna put something like that on my profile that shit is confidential or whatever. When I'm bored I like to read books or watch anime...and occasionally text friends or hang out or something.
I love a lot of one republic songs, Especially the song preacher. Oh and I recently started writing again after my huge failure which I'll leave up here to show people that if you don't really have an idea and dont proofread then you'll get a suckyass story no one will read, and if they do read you'll mostly get flames and people telling you to fix it. Oh and that self inserts are hard to write. I give props to the people who can. A major one being Silverqueen or something I cant remember the name. Its somewhere one my favorites.
Facts about Eric, The certified badass. (In his own opinion)
Fact # 1: I really really really really really fucking hate spiders(well when they crawl on me anyway other than that im cool with them)
Fact # 2: I find cheesy things hilarious except when i say it, then its heartwarming and awesome
Fact # 3: Sarcasm is something i really enjoy for some reason and i use it A LOT
Fact # 4: The shower is where i think of my life problems..why? no fucking idea but whoever invented that shit is like a ghandi of badassery such as myself.
Fact # 5: Whenever i'm bored and walk into my room i try to balance the light switch between on and off
Fact # 6: I really like to swear for no reason other than i can but ill tone it way down in front of women or children
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday, except I'm a guy
I'm gonna stop putting facts # whatever in front of what im saying cause it takes to much effort
I've always wanted my own dog that nobody owns but me. You know like a black labrador or border collie. Something cute and badass.
My favorite drink is chocolate milk, I dont know why I just prefer it above other drinks and i drink it when possible
I love ironic situations there's just something about them that gets me to laugh every time
I don't like it when people interrupt my sleep that's about the quickest way to piss me off...meaning DONT WAKE ME UP UNLESS ITS AN EMERGENCY O_O
I actually don't fear marriage if it happens then I'll be like whatever I'm married no big deal.
I think lava lamps are incredibly cool
I've always wanted to wear a trench coat, you know just once so when I stand on a random rooftop it will flow in the wind all cool-like
I kinda want to punch Chuck Norris in the face just to see what would happen, thanks Chuck Norris jokes...you assholes.
I don't like the taste of butterfingers they are pretty gross. Seriously who invented that nasty shit? It even has a nasty name. When I think of a chocolate, I think of creamy deliciousness in my mouth. Not some nasty buttery finger invading my oral cavity.
I'm more of a winter type of guy. Pretty much meaning I like cold a lot more than I like hot, in fact I think I hate hot days, there irritating and make me feel drowsy.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband;
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To
RIP We shall remember
98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that CAN resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile
If, with no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you've ever sat on your computer, reading someone else's “copy and paste this on your profile” stuff, copy and past this on your profile
If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.
If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.
If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.
Boy break hearts so why don't we break their necks?
I know a thousand ways to always say the wrong thing.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, Battleground Heart, Kaitythe Chameleon, Chaos-Bound-Jenna, Nova the cat, shadowfan13, Scarydreams10, Starla the Hedgehog, Angel-Demon1, SweetestSarcasm,SeductiveApple
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
Honorary Member of The Book of Log.
If you worship the holyness that is the log, copy and paste this section onto your profile... although you may want to change the comments
Position: Log Worshipper (Since 11/14/2013)
Possible Book of Log Positons:
Log Worshipper: Beginning position. No requirements
Log Priest: You have created at least 1 Naruto related fanfic that frequently (every 2-4 chapers) praises the almighty log and actually fits into the story
Log Pope (there can be more than 1 pope... its safer that way): you have created 3 naruto related fanfics that frequently praise the almighty log
OR the Fanfic that already occasionally praises the log has at least 400 reviews
OR you create a (decently made) Naruto fanfic focused on praising the log... log forbid.
Excerpt of the log number 124: when using the log to escape a fire jutsu, it is konoha custom to write an apology letter to the log, and depending on rank of jutsu escaped from depicts how many words are needed. c-rank, two thousand, B-rank, one thousand five hundred, a-rank, one thousand. only S-rank and higher or excused from the writing of the letter. even then, it is still reccommended.
Log excerpt number 231: if konoha shinobi celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out that shinobi is uneligible from using the log for a period of two months.
Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken:
For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling.
For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five saplings.
For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten saplings.
For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling per square inch of detached log.
For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant twenty-five saplings.
If your log is defective you may call 1-800-BAD-LOGS to file a complaint. If your case is proven correctly your next replacement will be half off.
'and the willow sayeth unto the ninja: wherefore dost i weep? 'tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. the log ist thine ally, and mine kin. calling upon the log, is to call upon me. to aid thee in battle, i weep my tear of joy. and the ninja spoke: yea, thee and thine kin shall forever be blessed among me and mine kin. for thine bravery will never be forgotten.' -book of the log, song of the willow, verses 1-4
'as the log takes your place, you become the log. the log becomes you. for a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja.' -book of the log, chronicle of the replacement verse 3
'you are fools! your log is but a mockery of the power of ninja!- the ninja from the desert declared. and the people shook their heads. you have been denied the log for a long time, sandwalker. we cannot force you to see the glory of the log, but know this. when the time comes, and you have no other allies to call upon, the log will hear your prayers, and aid you.' -book of the log, redwood journals verses 15-16
'and as the smoke cleared, his foe stared in awe at the log. blackened and charred, the log crumbled. the ninja, filled with righteous wrath, fell upon his foe and slew him. he made his way to the log, and wept. his companion, the log that had accompanied him through so many battles, was no more. he spoke thus to his fallen companion: though now you have fallen in battle, you rest where the logs forever grow. the forest of life called for you, and you answered its call, as you did mine. i thank you my friend.' -book of the log, honor of the forest canticle I, verses 78-82
'he despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none. -book of the log, wanderers saga, verses 7-9
'the log took his place and fell, forever into the abyss. the people, hearing of this, railed against him, in such numbers he swore to never endanger another log again. for many years, he fought without the log, growing more and more weary with each passing day. finally, he came across a foe that was too strong for him. as his life was about to end, he felt a familiar pull, and found himself out of harms way, seeing a log in his place. his stunned foe was felled in his stupor, and he approached the log, he knew it, for it was the same that fell so long ago. he asked of the log: why did you endanger yourself for me again? have you not done enough for me? and the log spoke: it is my duty, and our bond. we exist to save the ninja, and they exist to save the trees. we both play a part, for which i am content.' -book of the log, honor of the forest canticle II, verses 59-70
Let it be known that it is absolutely forbidden to willingly perform the technique known as "1000 years of death" on a log. It is also equally frowned upon for one to replace oneself with a holy log for the purpose of avoiding said technique. The punishment for such actions is at least 6 months of banishment from the use of the log.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Try to half-ass comfort you when you feel down.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Always keep your stuff they borrowed in perfect condition.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink because they think it's polite.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Ask you what you number is.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have to be reminded not to tell.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will offer to pay when you have a drink.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will apologize when you forget lunch money and say that they don't have any left.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will smile and say "Don't worry about me" when they forget their lunch money, even if you didn't offer to pay.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will automatically tell you you're beautiful when you ask if something makes you look fat.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would tell you not to get a face-lift because you already look perfect.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Tell you your zits aren't noticeable.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh with you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh at all your jokes.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Congratulate you when you get good grades.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Encourage you not to skip school.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will glare at the guy who dumps you and say "Forget him. You're too good for him."
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Crush on your older brother whom you absolutely despise.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
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