wedonottalkaboutthisaccount
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 10-30-12, id: 4335332, Profile Updated: 10-27-16
Author has written 4 stories for Once Upon a Time.

I'm leaving all the stories on here purely because sometimes I like to stroke my fragile ego and read some of the nice reviews left on this garbage, but we don't talk about it. Ever.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

What should be in Harry Potter by CaptainElf reviews
What SHOULD be in HP? A bit of insanity, that's what. Things concerning bunny slippers, Dumbledore's beard, the dangers of drapery, Bellatrix's greasy hands and random conversations. BEING REVAMPED! Suggestions welcome!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 3,979 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 4/5/2014 - Published: 8/3/2011
Weak Spots by starsthatburn reviews
Prompt from anon: Regina and Emma are relaxing in bed when a tickle fight breaks out
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,720 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 19 - Published: 9/28/2013 - Emma S., Regina M./The Evil Queen - Complete
Accidents Happen by PhoenixRisingOnTheMoon reviews
Four times Emma accidentally grabbed Regina inappropriately and the one time she did it on purpose. Swan Queen. Takes place on the ship to and from Neverland. slight crack.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,395 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 18 - Published: 9/28/2013 - Emma S., Regina M./The Evil Queen - Complete
Apples to Apples by momentsinthewoods reviews
The Charming's have a family game night
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,829 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/11/2013 - Emma S., Henry Mills, David N./Prince Charming, Regina M./The Evil Queen - Complete
Contagious by doktorwho reviews
The Mills lunch time gets interrupted by a sick sheriff. When Henry makes an innocent suggestion to help the blonde, it quickly escalates into a heated physical brawl between the two women. Post breaking of curse, Pre - Swan Queen. Fluff/Whimsical Nonsense/(attempted) Humour One Shot
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,983 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 20 - Published: 4/27/2013 - [Emma S., Regina M./The Evil Queen] - Complete
The Pre-Date by Ryunn Kazan reviews
(2X8) Jefferson helps Belle prepare for her date with Rumpelstiltskin. He is a hatter who finishes what he starts-And he started the Rumbelle- (CAPTAIN OF THE SHIP)
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,010 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/9/2013 - Belle/Lacey, Jefferson/Mad Hatter - Complete
It's 2:39am by theadmiralscoffee reviews
Henry won't stop crying and it's two in the morning. Baby!Henry and Mommy!Regina oneshot.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 631 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/3/2013 - Granny, Regina M./The Evil Queen - Complete
Tea For Two by strandedinstorybrooke reviews
Snow prepares a tea party for Regina to celebrate the coming of spring.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: K - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,913 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/25/2013 - Regina M./The Evil Queen, Snow White/Mary M. Blanchard
You Don't Choose Your Family by Andi88 reviews
Or, Let's Put All the Fan Family Theories Together and See What Happens. Emma has a conversation with her parents and son about the madness that is their extended family. One Shot!
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,108 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/23/2013 - Emma S. - Complete
Important information by Insane. Certifiably reviews
It was customary in Storybrooke to post in Granny's Diner important information, such as Greg Mendel's release date, that needed to be spread quickly. It was not customary to have entire conversations on said paper, but the town had gotten even stranger since the stranger passed the Welcome sign.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 627 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 11 - Published: 2/23/2013 - Emma S., Killian Jones/Captain Hook, Ruby L./Red Riding Hood, David N./Prince Charming - Complete
Thanksgiving by klutzysunshine reviews
Spoilers up to "Manhattan". The Charmings host Thanksgiving for the extended family. Needless to say, it doesn't go well.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,446 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/18/2013 - Complete
Game Day by Dani-Ellie03 reviews
"The snow's not going anywhere and we've got a very long day ahead of us." "Which begs the question," Henry continued, undeterred. "What are we going to do?" "I'm all for taking a nap," Emma grumbled at the same time as Snow suggested dragging out some board games. Emma blinked at her mother. "Board games? Seriously?" (or, a snow day with the Charmings.)
Once Upon a Time - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 22,941 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 2/14/2013 - Published: 1/22/2013 - Emma S., Snow White/Mary M. Blanchard - Complete
Boozy Call by KInviere reviews
Emma has to deal with Drunk!Hook.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,477 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 18 - Published: 1/26/2013 - Emma S., Killian Jones/Captain Hook, Ruby L./Red Riding Hood - Complete
Fairy for a Day, or Dark Blue and Rumplefairy by darcyfarrow reviews
Fed up with the Blue Fairy and Rumple's constant bickering, the Great and Powerful One reverses their roles for a day. Just a bit of silliness, and because there aren't enough BF/Rumple stories.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,468 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/1/2013 - Rumpelstiltskin/Mr. Gold, The Blue Fairy/Mother Superior - Complete
Once Upon a Time: School's Out! by MissiB reviews
Once Upon a time, someone had a crazy idea to turn all of our beloved fairytale characters into 19 year old college students. There's laughter, tears, romance (It's OUAT people) and shock. How will the teenagers of Fairytale College get on? Rated T for mild language.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 53,128 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 12/27/2012 - Published: 11/16/2012 - Complete
A night to remeber by AlyssaMarie92 reviews
Emma and Regina are getting high on the mayor's bathroom. Emma is a expert on marijuana but that's Regina first time. One shot
Once Upon a Time - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,963 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/26/2012 - Regina M./The Evil Queen, Emma S. - Complete
A Storybrooke Christmas Ball by musingofmychoosing reviews
Storybrooke has a Christmas ball, it is set after the episode "Queen of Hearts" and no further episodes have aired. No chapters since it all takes place the day of the ball as we follow Emma around.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,814 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/22/2012 - Emma S. - Complete
A Christmas Miracle by Dani-Ellie03 reviews
As soon as Henry disappeared from the room, Regina allowed her disgust to show on her face. She was going to be breaking bread with Emma Swan this Christmas. How … nauseating.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,502 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/18/2012 - Regina M./The Evil Queen, Emma S. - Complete
Christmas Cookies by CBrooke92 reviews
Emma and James are left alone to bake Christmas Cookies. Do I really have to explain! Rated T for language. Enjoy and Please Review!
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,154 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 11 - Published: 12/14/2012 - Emma S., David N./Prince Charming - Complete
Hitting the Snooze by foreverstartsrightnow reviews
Graham finds out the hard way that Emma is not a gentle sleeper. AU. One-shot.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,098 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/11/2012 - Emma S., Sheriff Graham/The Huntsman - Complete
First Charming Christmas by CBrooke92 reviews
It's the first Christmas for the Charming as a family and it's also a first Christmas for Emma. Knowing what she's going to get her mom and Henry, the only gift she needs, is one for her father. How far will she go to give her father, who she barely knows, the perfect gift?
Once Upon a Time - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,986 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 13 - Published: 12/5/2012 - Emma S., David N./Prince Charming - Complete
Cinnamon Challenge by AquaWolfGirl reviews
Bunnymund loses a bet, and Jack forces him to take the cinnamon challenge. Can be seen as a companion piece to Chubby Bunny, however you don't need to read one or the other to get it. K for one naughty word.
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 614 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 26 - Published: 12/5/2012 - Bunnymund, Jack Frost - Complete
Message Received by Scribes and Scrolls reviews
Set just after Emma returns from the other realm, Emma and Regina's voicemails get a work out, not to mention those of a few other Storybrooke citizens. Just a silly little Swan Queen fluffiness I wrote for the #SQ-Xmas-Fic-Exchange contest on Tumblr. Rated: PG
Once Upon a Time - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,126 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 42 - Published: 12/2/2012 - Emma S., Regina M./The Evil Queen - Complete
Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall by tonguemarksonmymirror reviews
Regina always had a troubled history with mirrors. They helped her as well as hurt her. One day she finds a very special mirror that can show her what she wants. Over the years, she visits it, and sees her changing wishes. Give it a chance if you like Regina, it's better than it sounds! *Now complete!*
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,719 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 12/1/2012 - Published: 11/17/2012 - Regina M./The Evil Queen, Emma S. - Complete
Milk of the Sweetened Condensed Kind by Alcandre reviews
First part of the Holiday Series. Emma has never had a real Thanksgiving. Boy, is she in for a surprise. AU
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,763 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/21/2012 - Emma S., Snow White/Mary M. Blanchard - Complete
To Myself I Turn by r2roswell reviews
We all have secrets. Some are easier to hide than others. Emma Swan deals with a situation that most people wouldn't understand. Trigger Warning: self injury, cutting, self harm, depression
Once Upon a Time - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,619 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/12/2012 - Emma S., Snow White/Mary M. Blanchard - Complete
Kitten Fever by Sootsprites reviews
It was actually an accomplishment, Darcy thought, that this was her weirdest day working with the Avengers. She'd lived down alien invasions and stolen coffee, but superheroes turning into cats? That was where she drew the line. Oneshot, unabashed crack.
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,774 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 15 - Published: 10/20/2012 - Hawkeye/Clint B. - Complete
Getting the Fuzzies by inkfiction reviews
Regina is rather attached to — Simba. Evil Charming with a bit of Henry/Regina thrown in. This is the most nonsensical and ridiculous piece of fic I have ever written.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,765 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/10/2012 - Regina M./The Evil Queen, David N./Prince Charming - Complete
A White Christmas in the Black by Meatball42 reviews
River tries to make Serenity feel more Christmas-y.
Firefly - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 241 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Published: 9/21/2012 - River - Complete
Monday Night At Granny's by Exquisiteliltart reviews
Emma and Belle bond over drinks.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 974 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/8/2012 - Emma S., Belle/Lacey - Complete
Magical Warfare by unbrokensaviorwithperfecthair reviews
Crackfic: Regina and Rumplestiltskin are going at it with magic, destroying Storybrooke in the process.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 524 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/27/2012 - Rumpelstiltskin/Mr. Gold, Regina M./The Evil Queen - Complete
Paranormal Activity by TheAquaQueen reviews
Prompt: Swan Queen watches a horror movie.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,263 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 12 - Published: 8/26/2012 - Regina M./The Evil Queen, Emma S. - Complete
State Of Youth Today? by Sick Of It All reviews
When the curse breaks it has an unexpected effect on Regina and Rumpelstiltskin turning them both into four year old's. But can Emma and Snow cope with them?
Once Upon a Time - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 11 - Words: 32,288 - Reviews: 215 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 8/16/2012 - Published: 6/24/2012 - Regina M./The Evil Queen, Emma S.
Storybrooke Discovers Fanfiction by Eyes like Dawn reviews
Emma discovers fanfiction, and called up those she knows in town. Hilarity ensues. Crack-fic, Crack-fic Crack-fic. Just a one shot of my terrible and I do mean terrible humor. Enjoy.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,779 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 10 - Published: 8/6/2012 - Emma S. - Complete
Six Avengers and a Kitten by Merrom Noire reviews
Let's do a headcount here: A demi-god. A super soldier - a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend. A man with breath-taking anger management issues. A couple of master assassins. A genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist. And none of them know how to take care of one stupid cat. K plus for slight language.
Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,626 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 18 - Published: 6/12/2012 - Complete
Salve Regina by inkfiction reviews
There's singing coming from the Sheriff's office. Just a little fun piece.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,041 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/15/2012 - Emma S., Regina M./The Evil Queen - Complete
Rumpelstiltskin Has a Sassy Gay Friend? by White Shade reviews
For all of those who have heard/watched Sassy Gay Friend. Now Rumpel has one too.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 434 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/19/2012 - Rumpelstiltskin/Mr. Gold - Complete
Liferuiner by Ayoshen reviews
Emma is obviously sick but also, it seems, determined to start a flu pandemic in Storybrooke, and Storybrooke can't have that. And Regina is Storybrooke.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,762 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 28 - Published: 2/15/2012 - Emma S., Regina M./The Evil Queen - Complete
How The Dark Slayer Stole Christmas by boop-oop-ee-doo reviews
To explain to Sophie what a Grinch is, Faith tells her a modified version of the classic tale, featuring an All-Scooby cast! Based on the live-action 'Grinch' movie
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 25,463 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 1/24/2012 - Published: 10/11/2011 - Faith L. - Complete
I Herpes You! by Oscar-Wilde-Inspired reviews
Dean and Sam get new Iphones with the brilliant invention of autocorrect. Misunderstandings and garbled messes ensue. Rated M for cussing mostly. Dean/Cas, Sam/Gabriel Slight Slash, really just the barest hints.
Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,027 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 209 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 1/16/2011 - Published: 1/15/2011 - Castiel, Dean W. - Complete
Angelic Bender by Levanael reviews
What happens when angels have one too many...
Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,031 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Published: 1/13/2011 - Castiel, Gabriel - Complete
Twelve Days of Firefly by Come Lady Death reviews
The twelve days of Christmas, Firefly style.
Firefly - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 1,251 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/20/2010 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Dreaming of a White Christmas reviews
aka "the one where Regina is the one who messes up the magic and a midnight bodyswap ensues." Secret Santa gift for likedevils.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,884 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/3/2015 - [Emma S., Regina M./The Evil Queen] - Complete
All Magic Comes With a Price reviews
Set after 'Queen of Hearts'. There are side effects to absorbing that much fairy dust and they're not what anyone expected. Regina is a toddler, but she's maintained her adult mind. Can Emma find a way to turn her back before it's too late?
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 33,882 - Reviews: 340 - Favs: 240 - Follows: 319 - Updated: 3/30/2014 - Published: 1/25/2013 - Emma S., Regina M./The Evil Queen - Complete
Something Missing reviews
AU after 3x11 Emma thought her life was perfect, but now things are starting to slip through the cracks. A strange woman is haunting her dreams and foreign memories are appearing in her mind. When the woman shows up at her door claiming that Emma's family is in danger, she is forced to let go of the lies she thought she knew and confront her destiny once and for all.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,841 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 28 - Published: 2/28/2014 - [Emma S., Regina M./The Evil Queen] Henry Mills
Just Relax reviews
'"Turns out Regina can't ice skate. She sprained her ankle and can't walk, so we're staying home to make sure she doesn't hurt herself anymore," Emma said, sitting on a stool at the counter.' It's Christmas Eve and Regina's stuck on the couch with a sprained ankle. Emma and Henry find themselves facing an impossible task: getting her to take it easy. SQ with Snow/Regina bonding.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,320 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 9 - Published: 12/29/2013 - Emma S., Henry Mills, Regina M./The Evil Queen, Snow White/Mary M. Blanchard - Complete