Author has written 1 story for DC Superheroes.
Do Not Disturb: Plotting
Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dyslexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to worthless little you.
Well, now that we've got that out out of the way, let us introduce ourselves. I am Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and-
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THAT NAME'S ALREADY TAKEN! I EXPENDED VALUABLE TYPING TIME ON THAT!
I am a fan of many fandoms. Some have lots of stories on this site. Some have regrettably few. If you want to flame me, please entitle your message thusly:
WARNING: THE FLAME POSTAL AND MAILING SYSTEM IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HORRIBLE, DEPRAVED, TWISTED USES YOUR FLAMES SHALL BE USED FOR.
EXHIBIT A: Making s'mores. Gimme s'more!
EXHIBIT B: Baking brownies. Nobody cares when you bake brownies.
EXHIBIT B: Firing Toph. She's my favorite ATLA (Avatar: The Last Airbender) character, but the story What Should Have Happened In ATLA makes it clear what must be done.
EXHIBIT C: This should be EXHIBIT D, but you didn't know that.
EXHIBIT E: If you DID know that, then...
EXHIBIT F: An Aqua Phoenix says, "THE CHICKEN'S BURNING!"
I am an Owl City citizen.
I'm sorry, Cedric. Voldemort is team Jacob. AVADA KEDAV-
Some Lists that I enjoy but am not going to fill my profile with are:
50 Reasons Lord of the Rings Sucks (Totally not sarcasm here) from Cracked.com
I've heard some students are being forced to read some novelization of the movies in their literature classes. Ridiculous. Does Hollywood run our classrooms now?
Hollywood can't make a movie these days without crapping out a sequel the next year to squeeze more cash out of the proverbial sheep. After Two Towers made its money, did anyone doubt Rocky would come out of retirement one more time?
They switched Darrens on us!
Look closely in Fellowship and you'll notice the human member of their party is played by two different actors at different points of the movie (it takes a sharp eye to notice, but one of them has red hair, one black).
Gold: The Stretchy Element. The ring, which is seen to be at least two inches in diameter at the beginning to fit the polish sausage-sized finger of Sauron, suddenly fits Frodo's child-sized finger later. I guess this movie takes place in a world where rings magically change sizes on their own.
Return of the Living Dead.
In FOTR, if you watch closely during the Inn scene, Frodo and his crew are shown getting stabbed by the Ring Wraiths. Then, five seconds later, they are fine again. Note to the director: try proofreading your movie before you release it to the public.
The Asbestos Wizard.
We all saw Gandalf fall into the molten core of Middle Earth after his battle with the firebeast thing in part 1. Well, I guess the Gandalf action figure must have sold well, because in the slap-together sequel Two Towers, Gandalf is back. Perhaps it was voodoo, a la the corpse in Weekend at Bernie's II(look closely and you'll notice LOTR steals several elements from the WaB films).
Speaking of Elves...
Elves are beautiful and wise and tall? Great warriors? Makers of fine lightweight weapons? Our modern knowledge of elves has observed only an ability to make cookies and toys. All the elves in the film are portrayed as living in a warm paradise (Rivendell) but our own information tells us the aforementioned group of toymaking elves work and thrive in the arctic. Hey, Mr. Jackson: Research is half of writing.
Homage or theft II?
The wise old wizard character was stolen from Harry Potter.
Homage or theft III?
The "travelling on our quest through a corn field" scene was stolen from Shrek.
Homage or theft VIII?
The incident with the flock of evil magical spying crows serving the All-Seeing Eye was based on an actual incident.
Homage or theft IX?
The character of the Giant Evil Flaming All-Seeing Eye was based on former President Jimmy Carter.
AKA "Plot Hole No. 273." Even with all that walking and light eating, the character of Sam only got fatter.
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow.
Too many notes.
Why couldn't Aragorn have been played by a monkey?
What's that smell?
As bad as the Lucasfilm internet leaks were with the lasttrilogy, the filmmakers of Lord of the Rings allowed the paperback novelizations onto shelves years in advanceAs if we needed any less of a reason to go see it.
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
20 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
123 Ways to Annoy, Harass, Confuse or Generally Scare Lord Voldemort: Sure-fire ways to get yourself killed, or at least Crucio'd round the block and back again
23. Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out gold stars.
The unnamed Harry Potter list that starts thusly (I like you, thusly):
1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms
And that includes these gems:
4) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss
8) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"
99.) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."
81.) I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
55.) I am not the wicked witch of the west.
56.) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.
57.) I will not melt if water is poured over me.
58.) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.
The list that starts thusly:
On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
50 things to do on an elevator.
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
The list that includes:
2 People who are willing to get up to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
1.When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
Many English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners:
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
100 Rules of Anime
The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural
#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first.
Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present...
The Top 100 Things I'd Do
One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
So, those are the lists. You should google them: they are all hilarious. You see? I'm giving you the opportunity NOT to read them. Free Will. Tvtropes does this so much better.
AVPM ROCKS! Harry Freakin' Potter, Yeah!
I am a troper from Tvtropes. Beware: Tvtropes will ruin your life. So will Cracked.com. And The Not Always websites (NotAlwaysRight).
It's you and me versus the world... we attack at dawn.
SWEAR TO DRUNK I’M NOT GOD!
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
I have strong feelings about gun control. If there's a gun around, I want to be controlling it.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, and then used against you.
If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned.
I am against anti-slytherin prejudice, double standards, and I feel that Marietta Edgecombe's punishment was too harsh.
I wish you would let me rule you
In evil, I'm going to school you
I won't sugarcoat or fool you
Your New Year's looks grim
I'm too old to love that. But I do nevertheless.
Dog: You feed me, you love me, you take care of my every need.
In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a cat person. Nothing against dogs though.
Fishing is like a near-death experience for small fish. They get fed, go up into a white light where they can't breathe and see all their dead relatives around them. Then, a great voice says "Nah, too small. Throw 'im back."
"I am Butler. Everything I say sounds tough." -Domovoi "Butler" Butler, Artemis Fowl: The Last Guardian
There are two types of people in the world: people who would, given the chance, make monkeys swallow helium to hear what funny sounds they make, and people who lack any sense of wonder and joy.
‘If you are not naïve enough to claim being unique/a rebel/notMainstream, while stupidly copying bullshit wisdom from other profiles, DO NOT copy this in your profile.’ (Copied from another profile.)
If you think that all profiles are starting to look identical thanks to copying and pasting to profiles...copy and paste this to your profile.
Unsafe External Link