Gal Can't Help It
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Joined 10-30-12, id: 4335901, Profile Updated: 05-27-16
Author has written 2 stories for Naruto.

Hello reader. Welcome to my profile.

Here, come in for a rest. *beckons reader to a plush chair in a cozy reading nook*

There now, isn't that better? You must be exhausted from reading so many stories on this site, and randomly clicked your mouse on my profile name. That's okay, we all make mistakes. But while you're here, let me tell you a bit about myself.

I'm Canadian, so it's nice to meet you. I'd offer you a plate of poutine, our national dish, but I'm afraid I've just run out. Sorry. If this is a problem, I can locate some ketchup flavoured potato chips? ...No? Alright then.

I mostly read Naruto themed fanfics on this site, and am not ashamed to say I like Sakura Haruno. I also refuse to be ashamed that I like seeing her paired up with pretty much any villain from the series. Or other manly men. ...Rock Lee, I must ask that you please remain seated.

The stories I write will involve Naruto characters, and I tend to only work on one main story at a time.

Plus it's just so easy to get distracted reading stories by other people. And scrolling through Tumblr pics. And shiny objects. Sometimes I'm working with a seriously low attention span. I blame it on low blood sugar. And lack of poutine.

Upcoming stories will include Akatsuki members. And possibly some snarky dialogue. Just a bit.

In the meantime, please feel free to stay here as long as you like. If you're interested, I do have two stories available if you're looking for something to read while you're cuddled up in the cozy reading nook - you will find them listed below.

Take care, and happy reading *blows glitter before exiting the room*

gchi

Stories

Madara: Sage of Sex Paths

Look, we both know why you're here. You found the title titillating and are hoping for something both absurd and smutty. I'm pretty sure I can deliver on the former. The latter...will be a challenge. But that's why I'm here - to become a better writer. Or at least perfect the art of writing about Madara in perverse situations. And luckily YOU get to come along for the ride! Chapters will be uploaded depending on my work schedule. I know, I don't like the way real life gets in the way of writing either.

Cover Art - Yomigaeru

Beta-ing Skills/Whip Cracker - Of Healing Love

Diary of a Madman: Pein Edition

Originally meant as a one-shot, but may be expanded to include other characters from the series.

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Cherry Blossom Flames by Winged Lady Colette reviews
A seven year old amnesiac awoke in a stream, being rescued by two brothers. MadaraxSakura
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 97,592 - Reviews: 741 - Favs: 986 - Follows: 1,277 - Updated: 6/29 - Published: 3/24/2015 - [Sakura H., Madara U.] Hashirama S., Tobirama S.
Marshmallow by Drindrak reviews
MadaSaku Week, Day Five. / To say Uchiha Madara was excited was like saying kittens were cute. Or puppies. Really. Whichever floats your boat. / A Crack after the war AU.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,100 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/12 - [Madara U., Sakura H.] - Complete
Exquisite by Drindrak reviews
MadaSaku Week, Day Two./ "After all," The tomoe in his Sharingan spun, "we're very much alike," shifting into the circles of his Mangekyou./
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 662 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 10 - Published: 5/9 - Sakura H., Madara U. - Complete
The Valley of the End by SouthSideStory reviews
There is a place where two legends once fought, a valley that saw their lifeblood spilled. And in Konoha there is a monument, a stone face shaped out of the golden bluff, which honors the champion—the Second Hokage: Uchiha Madara. (AU in which the Uchiha rule Konoha. SasuSaku. NaruHina.)
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 46,197 - Reviews: 618 - Favs: 739 - Follows: 952 - Updated: 3/31 - Published: 1/31/2015 - Naruto U., Sasuke U., Sakura H.
Cat'O'Nine Tails by Kaze and Kiba reviews
Sakura you are being sent undercover to capture Uchiha Itachi, and any other Akatsuki you come into contact with, while on your mission. Ha. Yeah right, just let me get my big net and ass kicking boots...What do you mean when you say 'Disguised as a cat?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 37 - Words: 142,897 - Reviews: 2646 - Favs: 1,900 - Follows: 1,882 - Updated: 3/10 - Published: 3/7/2010 - Sakura H., Akatsuki
To Duel With Fate by Mihkail reviews
Sequel to An Unlikely Seduction. After months of avoidance, fate has thrown Itachi back in Sakura's face when a failed mission nearly claims his life. Her greatest challenges lie ahead, while trying to navigate a maelstrom of conflicting emotions & maintain the string of lies & secrets she's managed to tangle herself and those close to her in, particularly Sasuke. ItaSak, Nonmass.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 113,122 - Reviews: 1025 - Favs: 944 - Follows: 1,380 - Updated: 1/11 - Published: 5/19/2013 - Sasuke U., Sakura H., Itachi U., Shisui U.
RED KING by VesperChan reviews
In the wild country where it never snows but always freezes, the Red King marches his armies against the White Tsar. That is why Sakura is swept away from the lonely streets and the empty barracks into a car with a bastard prince and a promise of redemption, but if only she can face the demons that chased her in the first place and be what the king needs in his war. SakuraCentric
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 65,535 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 192 - Follows: 54 - Published: 12/24/2015 - Sakura H., Itachi U., Shisui U., Madara U. - Complete
Uneasy coexistence by DeGlace reviews
One grinning shark–man. One pink–haired medic. Ankles. Teeth. Kisame x Sakura. Yes, you read that right.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 70,111 - Reviews: 1025 - Favs: 1,294 - Follows: 1,003 - Updated: 12/23/2015 - Published: 7/9/2006 - [Kisame H., Sakura H.] - Complete
The Green Water by deBrumbled reviews
Sakura wasn't meant to be here. She embarks on her journey to find out just who exactly she was but it soon becomes apparent that survival comes first. After all, she's not the only unnatural thing in these parts. SakuTobir
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 15 - Words: 62,898 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 294 - Follows: 429 - Updated: 12/1/2015 - Published: 10/25/2014 - Sakura H., Madara U., Hashirama S., Tobirama S.
Incomplete by moor reviews
KakaSaku. Naruto-verse, non-massacre. Tentatively they circled each other, seeking a balance that was near perfect until the Uchiha clan enacted an age-old decree; that Konoha provide them with that which they needed in order to continue the Clan. Rated 'M'.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,116 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 114 - Published: 9/6/2015 - Sakura H., Itachi U., Kakashi H.
The Last Hirameki by leafygirl reviews
Kakashi owes his allegiance to Konoha, but when blood ties call him away to another country, he struggles to leave the things he never knew he wanted in the first place. kakasaku
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 167,528 - Reviews: 577 - Favs: 395 - Follows: 304 - Updated: 8/23/2015 - Published: 11/7/2014 - Sakura H., Kakashi H. - Complete
Matchmaker: SasuSaku Month 2015 by moor reviews
Naruto-verse, non-massacre AU. SasuSaku. When Itachi decides to thwart his clan's plans for a choice of spouse by assassinating his own reputation, it falls to Sasuke to don the mantle of responsibility and take one for the clan. "Frequency of sexual congress?" he read on the compatibility survey. The matchmaker nodded. "Hn..."
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,724 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 14 - Published: 7/22/2015 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
The One Left Standing by OfPaintAndOil reviews
Sometimes, being the one left standing wasn't all it was cracked up to be. SakuraxTeam7.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,412 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 30 - Published: 5/15/2015 - Sakura H., Team Seven - Complete
The Truth Will Tear You Down by Laraqua reviews
Miles must struggle with the madness that accompanies being the Walrider's host as he makes his way out of one Murkoff Research Facility only to find himself drawn into another when he dons the uniform of an MRF guard so he can escape the cordon. Along the way he makes a few tentative alliances with wannabe deserters who know nothing about his true situation.(Happy for suggestions)
Outlast - Rated: T - English - Horror/Mystery - Chapters: 12 - Words: 18,586 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 3/29/2015 - Published: 6/15/2014 - Miles U.
Forest Fire by moor reviews
Mod AU. Sasu x Saku x Ita. A small spark can launch a forest fire.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 75,683 - Reviews: 181 - Favs: 272 - Follows: 189 - Updated: 2/10/2015 - Published: 7/30/2013 - Sasuke U., Sakura H., Itachi U. - Complete
Incandescent by Of Healing Love reviews
One-shot for Gal Can't Help It. It was supposed to just be quick striptease for some quick money - 4000 dollars, in fact. She would never have done it if it weren't for Ino. Two hours, a birthday party, and two hot businessmen who can't stop staring. Never had Sakura thought it would turn out like THIS... Rated M. Threesome. Pure, shameless smut. The author regrets nothing.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,080 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 60 - Published: 1/16/2015 - [Madara U., Sakura H., Tobirama S.] - Complete
Breathless by Marquise de Nile reviews
MadaSaku AU. The brush strokes the canvas just like his fingers itch to touch her silky skin. Dark and disturbing.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,970 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 18 - Published: 12/23/2014 - [Madara U., Sakura H.] - Complete
Mine by Mewrlise reviews
He targeted her, hunting her till he caught her and then never let go. Not even when she became his.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 766 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 21 - Published: 10/17/2014 - [Madara U., Sakura H.] - Complete
Uncanny Magnetism by sublimesubtleties reviews
Sakura is having eye problems, and Uchiha is the reason. A seal he has placed on her has rendered them inseparable - practically one. ItaSaku with a slice of Kisame on the side .
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 35,080 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 183 - Updated: 6/21/2014 - Published: 4/15/2012 - Sakura H., Itachi U., Akatsuki
on top of the world, alone by Marquise de Nile reviews
Sequel to "mortal insult". After the Hokage election, Madara encounters Mito for the second time. The tension between the two rises.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,479 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/7/2014 - Madara U., Mito U. - Complete
You Give Me Fever by SheWroteintheWind reviews
There are voices all around whispering sweet, dark nothings into the vast grayness that has become her life. For Sakura, it is only a matter of listening intently…or going insane.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 97,946 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 263 - Follows: 187 - Updated: 5/15/2014 - Published: 6/29/2012 - Sakura H., Akatsuki - Complete
Coercion by L.Pilz reviews
When put in trying conditions, will they be able to adapt? Or will they give in to coercion? Kisame and Sakura. Rated M for language, violence, sexuality.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 189,545 - Reviews: 611 - Favs: 574 - Follows: 645 - Updated: 4/7/2014 - Published: 11/15/2010 - Kisame H., Sakura H.
Aces & Eights by Renaerys reviews
Death is the beautiful lie and Life is the ugly truth, but neither is free. Itachi. Sasori. Prequel to Zero Hour. No pairings.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,039 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 19 - Published: 1/1/2014 - Itachi U., Deidara, Sasori, Konan - Complete
The Akatsuki Bro Code by rabid behemoth reviews
Tobi beats prostitutes (at Go Fish), Itachi explains fanfiction, and Team Kakashi suffers from a bathhouse-related accident. There is no fourth wall. [Crackfic!]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,168 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 9 - Published: 2/20/2013 - Naruto U., Sakura H., Kakashi H., Akatsuki - Complete
Naruto: A God among mortal men by Stuff3 reviews
In the aftermath of the ultimate battle that shook the ninja world, Naruto emerged triumphant to the awe of his friends. They each reflect on his experiences, trials, enemies and arcs that eventually make them see what was there all along. God like Naruto and harem.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,995 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/30/2012 - Naruto U. - Complete
Schadenfreude by Renaerys reviews
"It's all just a game, and I always win." Orochimaru. Sasori. Deidara. Prequel to Aces & Eights and Zero Hour. No pairings.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19,254 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 26 - Published: 11/9/2012 - Orochimaru, Deidara, Sasori - Complete
where the lines blur by ncfan reviews
Suigetsu decides that he cares too much.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,320 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 33 - Published: 10/26/2012 - Suigetsu H., Team Hawk - Complete
Monster Mash by Volpone reviews
In this Halloween Special, Sakura visits the Land of Spooky on an S class mission. Pure, uncut crack. The good stuff. Halloween!Akatsuki, with a special guest appearance by everyone's favorite copy nin. Sakura x Multi
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,095 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 10/25/2012 - Published: 10/16/2012 - Akatsuki, Sakura H.
Attack and Conquer by Killer-San reviews
The leaf is defeated and the Akatsuki are resurrected but in learning that the true leader is Madara, Deidara and others defect from the Akatsuki. Are our rebels doomed to be conquered, or will they meet a much different fate with our own Sakura Haruno?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,399 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 8/31/2012 - Published: 5/7/2010 - Sakura H., Akatsuki
Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting by odmonkey reviews
"It would have been difficult to say who was more unpleasantly surprised, Haruno Sakura or the five members of the Akatsuki, when she walked into the back-end of nowhere bar". Filthy words and sexy talk are all part of a day's work for the Akatsuki.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 60,804 - Reviews: 722 - Favs: 1,606 - Follows: 887 - Updated: 8/10/2012 - Published: 5/27/2010 - Akatsuki, Sakura H. - Complete
Narcotic by Volpone reviews
Taken for pleasure; can become powerfully addictive. Akatsuki. Sakura. Crack.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 33,429 - Reviews: 672 - Favs: 829 - Follows: 588 - Updated: 7/13/2012 - Published: 6/30/2009 - Sakura H., Akatsuki
Shodai Hokage Madara by Lucillia reviews
The deskbound adventures of one Uchiha Madara who lived in a universe where the selection of the First Hokage went the other way.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 1,461 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 430 - Follows: 207 - Updated: 4/19/2012 - Published: 11/20/2010 - Madara U. - Complete
Why the Akatsuki Should Never Ever Teach Sex Ed by SilverLullabies93 reviews
Crack!Fic. When the Akatsuki decide that Team 7 needs to learn about sex, chaos is bound to follow.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,651 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 498 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 4/7/2012 - Published: 10/7/2009 - Akatsuki, Team Seven - Complete
Cherry Wood by Lady Sunchaser reviews
A collection of yummy TenzSaku/Tenzou x Sakura or YamaSaku/Yamato x Sakura. Language/Genre varies in each chapter.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,557 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 3/10/2012 - Published: 3/8/2012 - Yamato, Sakura H.
Fascination by bon vivant reviews
Being curious about a person is a dangerous state to be caught in. / /Slightly Mature. Not to the point to necessitate an M rating, but consider this a heads-up.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 581 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/30/2011 - Sakura H., Yamato - Complete
At Water's Edge by Tigers and Dragons reviews
Set after the Fourth Shinobi War; Karin has escaped from Konoha, intent on avoiding any reminders of her old life, but one person remains determined to reconnect. She's dancing the water's edge; will she have the strength to dive in?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 35,167 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 12/24/2011 - Published: 9/3/2011 - Karin U., Suigetsu H. - Complete
It's the Thought That Counts by Akatsuki210 reviews
Tis the season for peace on earth, goodwill towards men, and...yeah, forget all that, this is the Akatsuki we're talking about here. One shot, implied PainKonan.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,613 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/24/2011 - Obito U., Akatsuki - Complete
Freedom in the Eyes of Another by Oroburos69 reviews
The Wave Mission was a failure. They got caught, captured, taken-it didn't end well. Now Sakura has a half-heard order, uncut fingernails, and more desperation than bravery. One way or another, she's getting Team Seven out today. Complete.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 20,684 - Reviews: 291 - Favs: 1,687 - Follows: 351 - Updated: 9/14/2011 - Published: 8/12/2011 - Sakura H. - Complete
Platonic Love by xSakuraWings reviews
For him, she is everything that he desired. And what Madara wants, he will get.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,288 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 46 - Published: 8/12/2011 - Sakura H., Madara U. - Complete
skinny jeans by moon strut reviews
That awkward moment when you get caught staring at your possibly gay co-worker's butt. —sasuke&sakura
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,268 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 12 - Published: 6/21/2011 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Sick by Electric Smile reviews
"What do you think of me, little rabbit? Am I imperfect?" "I think...I think you're very sick."
Street Fighter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,829 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/3/2011 - Chun-Li, Vega/Balrog (Claw) - Complete
Rampage by passthewordaround reviews
During the fourth ninja war Kakashi warned he would go on a rampage. Little did know how it would affect his former student. Sakura POV M rating just in case
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 315 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/6/2011 - Sakura H., Kakashi H. - Complete
These Boots Are Made For F by ronny-of-yore reviews
Ino's gift to Sakura gets lots of action in some extremely wrong ways. Written for the Kaka/Saku LJ Comm's Blindfolded Contest-NC-17 with appropriate warnings inside.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,768 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 17 - Published: 3/5/2011 - Kakashi H., Sakura H. - Complete
A Harmless Little Wager by Akatsuki210 reviews
It's been years since Deidara and Itachi first fought, and Deidara wants a rematch. But what price will Itachi demand if he wins? ItaDei, manga spoilers, one-shot.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,602 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/16/2010 - Deidara, Itachi U. - Complete
Fenugreek by Thorn In Your Side reviews
The first itsy-bitsy bikini was neither yellow nor polka-dotted, but the judges loved it.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,049 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Published: 3/28/2010 - Sakura H. - Complete
Seventh Sense by Zelha reviews
Who said that Shikamaru didn’t know how to devise a naughty plot to fulfill his own fantasies? ShikaSaku abduction fantasy smut.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,604 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 49 - Published: 2/14/2010 - Shikamaru N., Sakura H. - Complete
Akatsuki's Answering Machine by Secret Sheik reviews
This may be the feudal era, but Akatsuki needs an answering machine for all the calls they get. However, sometimes the answering machine can get pretty weird...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,982 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 1/2/2010 - Published: 6/13/2009 - Akatsuki
Clay Clocks Tick Back by Jojiro reviews
Art is a bang in a life filled with regrets. Then Deidara is sent back in time by Manda, and everything changes. Deidara-centric time travel. Rated T for language. Slight AU with increasing divergence. Time travel.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,888 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 1/2/2010 - Published: 4/8/2009 - Deidara
Holiday Explanations by Durgas Dragon reviews
Sai answers all the questions Gaara has
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,041 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/28/2009 - Sai, Gaara - Complete
Balancing Affections by the-human-error reviews
Sakura has been kidnapped by Akatsuki to heal Itachi and Zetsu. In an attempt to find an escape, she plays their feelings against them, but can she avoid falling in love in the process? SakuraxAkatsuki SakxKakuzu SakxHidan SakxZetsu SakxKisame
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 23,198 - Reviews: 343 - Favs: 388 - Follows: 364 - Updated: 10/13/2009 - Published: 3/30/2009 - Akatsuki, Sakura H.
Stronger by 15thBurningFiddle reviews
She was strong, for a leaf shinobi. /Rated T for strong language./AU ZabuSaku/ 3rd place in SpeedDemon315's challenge.\
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,262 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 9 - Published: 10/5/2009 - Zabuza M., Sakura H. - Complete
Till the Clouds Clear by Zelha reviews
In which someone feels the need to “playing hooky from the ninjin game and getting down and jiggy wid it.” Of course, that would be fun for all parties involved. KakaSaku shameless smut.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,991 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 15 - Published: 9/15/2009 - Kakashi H., Sakura H. - Complete
Oneirophrenia by Zelha reviews
Something is disturbing Itachi’s dreams. Something pink-haired, emerald-eyed and oh so sinfully sexy. AU kinky ItaSaku smut.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,730 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 632 - Follows: 81 - Published: 8/27/2009 - Itachi U., Sakura H. - Complete
Ounce for Ounce by kc-archive reviews
Pyramid Head & Maria. He had a strong sense of duty, or maybe just a weak sense of independence.
Silent Hill - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,111 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 18 - Published: 8/17/2009 - Pyramid Head, Maria - Complete
Disconnect by Cold Fire Phoenix reviews
Sakura is shunted into another dimension by Kakashi's jutsu during the fight for the Five Kage's lives, when Danzou comes into power. Forced to survive in a veritable world of ghosts, can Sakura make it back home? Starts focus on Sakura/Deidara.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,072 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 11 - Published: 7/5/2009 - Sakura H., Deidara
Sasuke is a Moron by Natarie reviews
It started as many things are prone to: With a bet and the Akatsuki. Women are always right. Therefore, whatever happened, it was all his fault. One-Shot Crack
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 23,764 - Reviews: 349 - Favs: 1,427 - Follows: 208 - Published: 6/21/2009 - Sakura H., Akatsuki - Complete
Tactile Feedback by GoldenGrimoire reviews
“What sort of performance should we create together, little girl?” Oneshot, Lemon, Sasori/Sakura
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,189 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 536 - Follows: 94 - Published: 4/30/2009 - Sasori, Sakura H. - Complete
Found by kc-archive reviews
Deidara & Sakura. He was peculiar and a little too observant for her tastes, but he was also alone, just like her, at the fault of this supercilious war. So she would dance with him, just until they could both forget how much they had lost.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 105,034 - Reviews: 1600 - Favs: 1,863 - Follows: 807 - Updated: 4/5/2009 - Published: 4/6/2007 - Deidara, Sakura H. - Complete
Keep It Clean by grandlarseny reviews
Team 7 goes undercover for a mission, but Sasuke struggles to maintain professionalism when Sakura looks like...THAT. Sexyfuntimes with SasuSaku.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,104 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 461 - Follows: 46 - Published: 3/31/2009 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Halo by Juniper11 reviews
For Laurapen90. There was that certain something about both of them. She shouldn't have to choose...but she did. ItaSakuDei.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,382 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/15/2009 - Sakura H., Itachi U., Deidara - Complete
Somewhere I Have Never Travelled, Gladly Beyond by Wyntermute reviews
Naruto had been bragging all day that his new jutsu was his best yet. Sakura and her new situation beg to differ. Post timeskip. DeiSaku.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 82,879 - Reviews: 1360 - Favs: 1,909 - Follows: 701 - Updated: 12/11/2008 - Published: 12/9/2006 - Sakura H., Deidara - Complete
On Display by Secret Sheik reviews
After a great war, Kisame and Sakura follow their own paths. Sakura is a geisha, and Kisame just happens to find her. Kisa/Saku. Rated for lemons.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 41,628 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 306 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 11/20/2008 - Published: 5/25/2008 - Kisame H., Sakura H. - Complete
The Kunoichi Way by ronny-of-yore reviews
While male shinobi usually summon a few shadow clones for a little personal time, kunoichi, the more intelligent of the two, have genjutsu… and they know exactly how to use it. Kaka/Saku/Bushin/Yama/Kaka/Gen
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,365 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 244 - Follows: 40 - Published: 11/10/2008 - Kakashi H., Sakura H. - Complete
Heat and Sun by Wyntermute reviews
It’s not every day that Sakura gets a mission like this. She could deal with the high heels and half-baked revolution, but a dead man from the past definitely wasn’t in the job description. DeiSaku.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,755 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 226 - Updated: 8/26/2008 - Published: 8/13/2008 - Deidara, Sakura H.
Getting Physical by Silindro reviews
Oneshot. Medical fun runs rampant when Sakura is ordered to give Kakashi a physical. Kakashi x Sakura
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,296 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 138 - Follows: 20 - Published: 7/6/2008 - Sakura H., Kakashi H. - Complete
Twisted Poetry by GirlquinndreameR reviews
The metal was cold as it passed through you... You did not scream, only bit down on your lip, drawing blood, its coppery fluids creeping between your teeth. Sakura fulfills her promise to Sasuke. SasuSaku collection
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,696 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 6/27/2008 - Published: 11/9/2007 - Sakura H., Sasuke U.
Hokage sama by SilverShine reviews
Every Hokage needs his assistant. KakaSaku. One-shot.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,210 - Reviews: 548 - Favs: 1,815 - Follows: 232 - Published: 6/22/2008 - Kakashi H., Sakura H. - Complete
Nymph by SilverShine reviews
To her it is as natural as breathing. She wouldn't know how to keep men from adoring her, even if she tried. KakaSaku.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 21,412 - Reviews: 373 - Favs: 958 - Follows: 208 - Updated: 6/16/2008 - Published: 5/24/2008 - Kakashi H., Sakura H. - Complete
Canned Laughter by Narkness reviews
Words could simply just be words when unread or unspoken. SxS
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,936 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/24/2008 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Turnabout by Juniper11 reviews
They say turnabout's fair play. Well Sakura's about to give Kakashi a taste of his own medicine.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,494 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 154 - Follows: 26 - Published: 3/15/2008 - [Kakashi H., Sakura H.] - Complete
Between the Lines by fivetail reviews
-AR- Sometimes it was easy to read into the enemy's mind, but these were the kinds of complications neither one of them could afford. KabuShizu.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,588 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/10/2008 - Kabuto Y., Shizune - Complete
Interrupted by MightyMightyMafia reviews
-EDITED- KakaSaku, Some ItaSaku - Itachi was wrong. You were her first, her only. He had only been an interruption.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 980 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/16/2008 - Kakashi H., Sakura H. - Complete
picassoid forms by kwizten reviews
He knew he could never stop loving her. After all, she was his masterpiece. DeiSak.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,025 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 9 - Published: 12/29/2007 - [Sakura H., Deidara] - Complete
Death Toll by dead drifter reviews
What happened to Kakuzu's previous partners?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,441 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/1/2007 - Published: 11/22/2007 - Kakuzu - Complete
Icha Icha Sakura by Nottoca reviews
When Sakura ends up as a character in one of Jiraiya’s Icha Icha novels, she decides to get some revenge, but needing some help, she turns to the number one authority… and its all downhill from there. Lemon. KakaSaku.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 44,925 - Reviews: 244 - Favs: 448 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 11/26/2007 - Published: 9/19/2007 - Kakashi H., Sakura H. - Complete
It Was Very Late and I Was Not Thinking Clearly by Aelibia reviews
It came from the bed. It was tired of being chained to the bedpost. It wanted to watch the Weather Channel. It wanted sex. The only question is: will the stove explode and set the surrounding houses on fire? Kisame and Sakura.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,345 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 15 - Published: 8/11/2007 - Sakura H., Kisame H. - Complete
Face Value by firefly reviews
In the three days she has remaining to dispose of her target, Temari has to make a choice: stick to protocol and accomplish the mission, or sate her fascination with a certain missing Falls nin. Kakuzu x Temari.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19,952 - Reviews: 231 - Favs: 416 - Follows: 41 - Published: 8/4/2007 - Temari, Kakuzu - Complete
Inamorato by firefly reviews
Nobody told Tobi that out of all the calendar holidays, Valentine’s Day was the last one to be passionately celebrated in the company of seven homicidal men. Crackfic.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,086 - Reviews: 1572 - Favs: 3,878 - Follows: 416 - Published: 4/10/2007 - Obito U., Deidara - Complete
Two Step Plan by Cold Fire Phoenix reviews
Kakuzu challenges Hidan to prove the superiority of his ways by using his religion to procure funding for the Akatsuki. In Konoha, Hidan proves his point, but not without incidental crack ensuing.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,363 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/18/2006 - Hidan, Moegi - Complete
Piano Man and Church Boy by firefly reviews
Hidan and Itachi have to work together to assassinate their target, and due to circumstaces beyond their control, have to crash a wedding to do so.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,924 - Reviews: 657 - Favs: 1,915 - Follows: 195 - Published: 12/5/2006 - Hidan, Itachi U. - Complete
Carry On Dancing by firefly reviews
If Hidan ever found himself capable, he was totally going to sacrifice the Leader to his God for making him dance. Crackfic!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,930 - Reviews: 235 - Favs: 647 - Follows: 73 - Published: 11/5/2006 - Hidan, Obito U. - Complete
Say Hello To Your New Partner by firefly reviews
Kakuzu was told he’d receive his seventh and final partner in a week. He wasn’t sure he liked the evil, conniving glint in the Leader’s eyes when he told him that his new partner would be special. Crackfic!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,684 - Reviews: 177 - Favs: 680 - Follows: 80 - Published: 10/16/2006 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Methods of Persuasion by firefly reviews
Tobi glanced around, noticing that the Leader, Deidara, and Kisame were watching Hidan as though he was about to put on a show. He didn’t understand why, since Hidan was merely conversing with the cable man about the TV. Warning: extreme profanity ahead!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,840 - Reviews: 360 - Favs: 1,335 - Follows: 134 - Published: 10/6/2006 - Hidan, Obito U. - Complete
Just Persuasion by SilverShine reviews
[SasuSaku] ”Things are different now. We’re not the same as before.” Oneshot.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,934 - Reviews: 458 - Favs: 1,483 - Follows: 168 - Published: 9/4/2006 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
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Madara: Sage of Sex Paths reviews
All Naruto characters belong to Kishimoto. But not if Madara has anything to say about it. Madara's about to experience a different kind of awakening after his ascension to Sage level. And no 4th wall is going to stop him from getting what he wants in this omake. Can the Naruto cast and crew stop Madara and his awkward interactions with Sakura before it's too late? (Crack, AU)
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,115 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 5/27 - Published: 2/24 - Sakura H., Madara U., Team Seven
Diary of a Madman - Pein Edition
It may not have been exactly what Kafka had in mind, but even a god could use a little help when it came to the hell of paperwork.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,384 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/24/2013 - Pain/Pein, Akatsuki - Complete