Jokerofish
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Joined 08-08-03, id: 435007, Profile Updated: 07-29-11
Author has written 1 story for Harry Potter.

I've been on ff.net since '03, weird eh? I've written several stories but I removed all of them. Actually, one was removed by ff.net (for no good reason- it was a shit story but I'm still bitter).

Favourite Books: Harry Potter Series by J.K Rowling (obviously), Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden, Friends Like These by Danny Wallace, Three Act Tragedy by Agatha Christie, Rick Mercer the Book by Rick Mercer, Gallagher Girl Series by Ally Carter, Hero by Perry Moore

The Harry Potter Series

Favourite Book of the Series: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - - This was the best book for Voldemort, Dumbledore and Blaise Zabini.

Favourite Characters: Voldemort and Dumbledore

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Favourite Subject: Ancient Ruins

Favourite professor: Dumbledore and McGonagall

Favourite Minor Character: Blaise Zabini (the man who half of the fandom thought was female until book 6 and only had 3 lines in the whole series.)

Favourite Quotes:

"For future reference, Harry, it is raspberry...although of course, if I were a Death Eater, I would have been sure to research my own jam preferences before impersonating myself." - - Dumbledore, Book 6.

"If death is nothing, Dumbledore, kill the boy..." - - Voldemort (through Harry), Book 5.

" It was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high. Some people, perhaps, would say that there was little to choose between the two ways, but Dumbledore knew - and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents - that there was all the difference in the world. " - - Book 6.

"Greatness inspires envy, envy engenders spite, spite spawns lies. You must know this, Dumbledore." - - Voldemort, Book 6.

"There is no good and evil. There is only power, and those too weak to seek it." - - Quirrell (talking about what Voldemort taught him), Book 1.

"Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young." - - Dumbledore, book 5.

Other Things

Age: Over 18 (I'm an adult y'all!)

Education: I'm in Uni (surprising right?) majoring in Anthropology.

Favourite Book Quotes:

"For every Hitler, there's a Shitler" - - Friend Like These

"I'd had twelve sessions of genital exfoliation!? I didn't even remember having one! I think I'd remember having twelve of anything involving my genitals!" - - Friend like These

"For the 308 member of parliament - the good, the bad, and the indifferent, and in that order." - - Rick Mercer Report the book (the dedication)

Favourite Quotes:

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." - - Winston Churchill

"Stephan Harper could argue he is Canada's greenest PM simply because he's the only one who has gone out of his way to give potted plants key portfolios." - - Rick Mercer

"Parliament is filled with jackals, opportunists and boors. The problem is, like it or not, they were elected." - - Rick Mercer

"The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our ways -- I to die, and you to live. Which is better God only knows." - - Socrates

Progress:

-- Out Went the Light : : Chapter 5 : : 70 percent written / 0 percent edited

Love you guys long time,

--KoaL

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Thirteenth to Fifth by The Wykkyd reviews
Harry Potter's new life as a student at the School of the Arts is complicated. With gangs, drugs, and abuse in his past, and Draco Malfoy and dance in his future, the trouble starts when Harry is forced to figure out his place in the present. H/D H/G H/TR
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 146,280 - Reviews: 852 - Favs: 572 - Follows: 803 - Updated: 3/7 - Published: 5/2/2009 - Harry P., Draco M., Tom R. Sr.
Prince of the Dark Kingdom by Mizuni-sama reviews
Ten years ago, Voldemort created his kingdom. Now a confused young wizard stumbles into it, and carves out a destiny. AU. Nondark Harry. Mentor ok VII Ch.6 Amelon's investigation comes to him, Snape bites off more than he can chew, Enid suspects, Remus and Sirius commiserate, and Voldemort reminds Harry he's a terrible, terrible man.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 145 - Words: 1,220,148 - Reviews: 9828 - Favs: 5,148 - Follows: 4,572 - Updated: 1/26 - Published: 9/3/2007 - Harry P., Voldemort
Becoming Human by Project Dark Overlord reviews
Five years after the events of 'A Shattered Prophecy', Harry discovers the name of who betrayed him and Voldemort. He returns to Britain bent of revenge only to find himself maneuvering through webs of deceit with his only ally, a known traitor. Extending take down until July 1, 2012, so I have time respond to everyone and its gives people time to finish reading.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,563 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 231 - Updated: 5/28/2012 - Published: 12/25/2006 - Harry P., Lucius M.
A Shattered Prophecy by Project Dark Overlord reviews
A twist of Fate… an opened window… a cradle robbed… two frantic parents… a lost hope, along with a shattered Prophecy. Moved to 'M' for future violence. Extending take down until July 1, 2012, so I have time respond to everyone and its gives people time to finish reading.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Tragedy - Chapters: 26 - Words: 85,376 - Reviews: 1050 - Favs: 1,094 - Follows: 551 - Updated: 5/28/2012 - Published: 1/20/2006 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Darkly Treacherous by xxlostdreamerxz reviews
AU: What if Harry grew up neglected by his parents? What if he had been kidnaped by Voldemort and raised as his dark heir? Read and find out!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 32 - Words: 84,624 - Reviews: 4355 - Favs: 3,855 - Follows: 3,592 - Updated: 12/27/2010 - Published: 8/17/2004 - Harry P., Voldemort
Dismantle Repair by shamrocker531 reviews
DM/HP - How a random meeting in a coffee shop can change everything. Non-magical. Draco/Harry, some Draco/Cedric, Harry/Oliver - Warning: Explicit sexual content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 160,500 - Reviews: 480 - Favs: 545 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 11/15/2010 - Published: 10/31/2010 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
LADY MALFOY by greatest.wit reviews
AU. NON-MAGIC. Set in 19th century, it is a story of a young woman who sacrifices her future to save her family from utter poverty. See whether her sacrifice turns out to be a blessing or not. Draco/fem!Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 223,711 - Reviews: 764 - Favs: 704 - Follows: 776 - Updated: 6/6/2010 - Published: 6/6/2009 - Harry P., Draco M.
Making Sweet Lemonade by MyInnerVoiceDick reviews
In which James and Lily are alive, Neville is thought to be the Boy-Who-Lived, Harry has an older twin brother named Nolan, and Draco wants to shag Harry senseless. Let the drama commence. Oh. Of course Severus will be in it too. SLASH HP/DM
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 31,657 - Reviews: 325 - Favs: 529 - Follows: 839 - Updated: 5/12/2010 - Published: 4/24/2008 - Harry P., Draco M.
Remember Me by Reiko Katsura reviews
Complete. The war's ended, and just when Harry Potter begins to believe that his fighting is over, he's proved wrong. HPDM Slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 20,483 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 202 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 12/4/2009 - Published: 12/3/2009 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Slipping Away by teecrushfic reviews
What do you do when what you have taken for granted suddenly goes awry?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 23,675 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 156 - Follows: 12 - Published: 11/6/2008 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Philologus by P.P.V.V reviews
COMPLETE! AU Welcome to H.W Academy, where manners exist and the nobility reside. It’s the only world James Potter knows, but when Lily Evans enters his life, that world is shattered. L/J He’s about to learn that there are some things money can’t buy. R/R
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 34 - Words: 184,698 - Reviews: 1948 - Favs: 1,092 - Follows: 519 - Updated: 3/22/2008 - Published: 3/27/2006 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Captain's Choice by AgentPersephone reviews
.'A bet. To lose our virginity to someone, preferably good looking,' Roger said. 'And female,' Marcus added, looking pointedly at Cedric. 'Oh ha ha,' Cedric replied sarcastically. AU hot Quidditch Captain mayhem.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 60,495 - Reviews: 1179 - Favs: 519 - Follows: 393 - Updated: 2/29/2008 - Published: 2/23/2005 - Oliver W., Cedric D.
A Part of Me by Kurinoone reviews
Harry tries to adjust to his new life without Voldemort. But sometimes your past refuses to stay in the past. Book Two of the Dark Prince Trilogy. H/G AU
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 44 - Words: 271,565 - Reviews: 5246 - Favs: 2,252 - Follows: 751 - Updated: 12/15/2007 - Published: 1/14/2007 - Harry P., James P. - Complete
Beautiful Addiction ♣♠ Revised and Revisited ♠♣ by Autumn Amethyst reviews
REWRITE Lily knew she shouldn't. She was lying to her friends and everyone else. James was a Cavillor, and she an Ausculto. They were fundamentally incompatible, and yet charged with bringing everyone together. As if that would happen without a storm.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 126,322 - Reviews: 474 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 152 - Updated: 6/26/2007 - Published: 12/20/2005 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Crystal by The Plot Bunny Whisperer reviews
AU “He’s as… fragile as crystal…” To wear matching rings is believed to be the ultimate expression of love… Summary inside. HPTR Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 25,975 - Reviews: 406 - Favs: 1,042 - Follows: 272 - Updated: 5/9/2007 - Published: 6/10/2005 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr. - Complete
Future's Past by Ravnika reviews
AU Lily and James separated just after Harry was born. Lily moved to France with Harry and James stayed in England. Placed during GOF.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,341 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 266 - Updated: 3/4/2007 - Published: 4/12/2006 - Harry P.
Darkness Unveiled by MissAX reviews
Harry runs away from his parents to find a place where he belongs...Away from home, Harry meets no one other than Voldemort, who becomes the father that he never had. Harry comes to see that the Light aren't all that they appear to be...[NOT SLASH]
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 63,674 - Reviews: 786 - Favs: 913 - Follows: 1,036 - Updated: 12/27/2006 - Published: 3/25/2006 - Harry P., Voldemort
The Darkness Within by Kurinoone reviews
What if Wormtail hadn't told Lord Voldemort the Potters hideout. What if he took Harry straight to him instead? A Dark Harry fanfic. AU Mild HG
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 65 - Words: 364,868 - Reviews: 6881 - Favs: 5,938 - Follows: 1,664 - Updated: 12/24/2006 - Published: 4/26/2006 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
A Second Chance: The Rewrite by S.L reviews
The war in his world is over: Harry Potter, tired of fighting, uses a spell that will take him to a new world, where his parents, and friends are alive, but where he died as a baby. Is this new start too good to be true?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 86,251 - Reviews: 1861 - Favs: 2,264 - Follows: 2,471 - Updated: 11/27/2006 - Published: 11/29/2005 - Harry P., James P.
A Stranger to Friends by Encaitarince reviews
Harry Potter discovers a way to defeat Voldemort, but in order to do so he must leave his friends behind and embark on a quest that will lead him to a world not his own. Please RR
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 61,354 - Reviews: 700 - Favs: 603 - Follows: 543 - Updated: 1/13/2005 - Published: 8/27/2004 - Harry P., James P.
Signing One's Death Certificate by CokeFreak reviews
Sirius Black, Heir of the Black Family is going to Hogwarts. His family has already sorted him into Slytherin. What happens when he doesn't get into his Family House? The friendship of the Marauders starts here along with secrets, and the war starting!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 28 - Words: 50,696 - Reviews: 361 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 4/30/2004 - Published: 10/6/2003 - Sirius B., James P.
Out Went the Light reviews
Voldemort came for his brother, found him instead. A code is what kept him alive: Now Voldemort has an heir.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 30,738 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 223 - Follows: 419 - Updated: 1/10/2010 - Published: 4/23/2009 - Harry P., Voldemort