Author has written 13 stories for Fullmetal Alchemist, Misc. Books, Kingdom Hearts, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Harry Potter, and Mortal Instruments.
Okay, seriously? Can i not get reviews any more? I have a story that I NEED reviews for or I can't continue. . . HEY!!! You could just message me and tell me what baby/ies you would think is cool to have for a gay couple. Boy, girl, twin boys, twin girls, one of each, (Specify if you want identical or fraternal for the twins). I am not promising that the input i get will be what the kid(s) end up as, but it will count, trust me. PLEASE IF ANYONE READS THIS GIVE ME SOMETHING. . . the story that I'm wanting this for is Fresh Start, if you were wondering, please. . .
Something I got off of someone else's profile:
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
1 I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
2 I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
3 I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
4 I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
5 I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
6 I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
7 I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
8 I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
9 I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
10 I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
11 I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
12 I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
13 I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
14 I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
15 I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
16 I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
17 I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
18 I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
19 I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly... or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
20 I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
21 I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
22 I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
23 I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
24 I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
25 I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
26 I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
27 I couldn't hurt a FLY, so I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
28 I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
29 I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
30 I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOUR, so I MUST be crazy.
31 I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
32 My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
33 I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
34 I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE... So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I Must be homosexual.
35 I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
36 I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
37 I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
38 I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
39 I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
40 I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUN HAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
41 I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I MUST be a HOMOPHOBE.
42 I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
43 I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
44 I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
45 I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.
46 I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion. (no no, that's actually true for me)
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
47 I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
48 I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
49 I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
50 I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
51 I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
52 I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
53 I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
54 I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
55 I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue
56 I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover.
57 I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob.
58 I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality.
59 I love TO LEARN so I MUST be boring.
60 I'm WHITE, so I MUST be a racist.
I'm a GUY with LONG HAIR, so I MUST be a hippie/druggie.
I'm good with COMPUTERS, so I MUST be a nerd/geek.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST love sports.
I'm NOT RELIGIOUS so I MUST be treated like crap until I pray to your god.
61 I am a GIRL, so boys MUST be better than me at sports.
I am a PUSHOVER, so I MUST have controlling friends
62 I am a GIRL, so I MUST only be good at housework.
63 I am not EMO, so I MUST be uncool.
64 I am WHITE and I like to DANCE, so I MUST be lame
65 I don't act DEPRESSED, so I MUST be weird.
I am SKINNY, so I MUST be sensitive about my weight
66 I am a CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST go to church every Sunday.
67 I am a CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST not do anything on Halloween.
I am POOR, so I MUST not have good hygiene
I am a HOUSEWIFE, so I MUST have no self respect.
I consider myself 'NORMAL', so I MUST be boring.\
Heh heh, I kinda don't care much what you make of that, I was being perfectly honest about the caps items, but the must be is WAY too stereotypical. Think of me what you will but like 80% of those things are false, probably more like 95%. I have 67 things about me that people might label me for, and that doesn't even begin to tell you about me!
Only in America are we this stupid:
1. Only in America ...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America ...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America ...do drug stores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America ...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America ...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'
10. Only in America ...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.
THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
SO TRYING ONE OF THESE! (probably not the fetal position one. . .)
Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things.
WHAT A KISS MEANS
Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready"
Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever"
Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything"
Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"
Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"
Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together"
Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"
Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"
What the gesture means...
Holding Hands = "we definitely love each other"
Slap on the Butt = "That's mine"
Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go"
Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you"
Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me"
Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go"
Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you"
picking someone up off their feet = "that they love them fully and would do anything for them"
Dont ask for a kiss, take one
If you were thinking about someone while reading this,
you're definitely in Love.
Post this again after reading!!
Or you will have a bad year of Relationships.
If you LIKE, LOVE, OR MISS someone right now
and can't get them out of your head
then Re-post this within One Minute and Whoever you are missing will surprise you.
Repost this as 'what a kiss means'
Girl: Do i ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would youdo anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
If you are so obsessed with the series you can practically quote parts of the book (or chapters), copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile
If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon and/or Eclipse, copy and pastes this onto your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever said something twice, and when someone said something, you had no recollection of saying it either time, copy and paste to your profile.
Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.
Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead,
who keeps your picture in his wallet,
who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,
who holds your hand in front of all his freinds,
who thinks your beautiful without makeup,
one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,
THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!
1) Imitate Vexen's creepy laugh right in front of him, and make sure it's loud so everyone can hear.
2) Steal Vexen's gloves and run around Castle Oblivion yelling "Squee! I'mma Vexen!" See if you get any strange expressions from other members.
3)Tell Vexen about how his Riku puppet was an ABSOULUTE FAILURE really slowly while shouting the 'failure parts' really loudly, he'd just love to hear it.
4) better, mix up his chemicals, switch the labels, etc and watch them explode in his face, and say even his simple experiments 'WERE FAILURES' and that even a monkey like xaldin could do it..
(bonus points if xaldins in the room, and more chances of you dyeing)
5) ask if he stalked any children recently other than namine and riku.
6) Walk up to him and tug on a peice of his hair asking, "Are those extensions?"
7) when it snows Call him Grandpa and Use his shield as a sled to escape.
8) Ask him what type of research he does. When he tells you then say "Oh I thought your research was just like the Pervy Sage's from Naruto."
9) better, blow up his lab saying you were looking FOR the pervy sage's from naruto
10) get pictures of girls in bikinis and stick a picture of vexen’s head on the bodies, then shout around the castle ' OMG VEXEN IS A GIRL! I HAVE SCIENTIFIC PROOF'
(make sure you hang the biggest picture of him in the meeting room for bonus points)
--THEN RUN LIKE THERES NO TOMMORROW!!--
THE GREATEST WAYS TO ANNOY MANSEX *COUGH* I-I MEAN XEMNAS...
1. Write "Xemnas = Mansex" on his forehead.
2. Better, write it all over the castle.
3. Remind him that his Heartless self was closer to kicking Sora's ass than he was.
4. Write Xemnas's name on Saix's boxers.
5. Pants Saix in front of everyone, showing the boxers.
6. Laugh when Xemnas kicks Saix ass.
7. Make burp or farting noises during important meetings.
8. When he's holding a hot drink, casually ask if he and Saix had a "fun" time last night.
9. Laugh when he drops the hot drink on himself in shock.
11. "Accidentally" trip him.
12. While helping him up, tape a sign that says "I'm gay for Saix" on his back.
13. Laugh when Saix tries to kill him.
14. Take Marluxia's scythe and chop off Xemnas's hair. Leave the Scythe.
15. Make him go through one showing of Brokeback Mountain.
16. Get Saix to join him.
17. Tell Xemnas that Marluxia want to see him in his room tonight, then do the whole "wink, wink, nudge nudge" crap.
19. Tell him to get a better hobby than collecting hearts.
20. When it's dinner time, put Hot Sauce on his food
21. Better, spike his drink with Hot Sauce.
22.Never actually come to the meetings on time
23. If you do go to any of the meetings on time, never sit in the same seat
24. If Xemnas says "any questions?" during a meeting, say "Yeah, why do we all wear dresses?"
25. For the grand finale, on Christmas, put a mistletoe in the least obvious place, then trick Xemnas and Saix to go under it together, then take a picture of the moment and use it to blackmail both of them. If it doesn't work, RUN LIKE HELL MAN! RUN!
50 Ways to Annoy Xemnas
He might be the Organization's number 1, but sometimes things have to fall don't they?
- When meeting with all the other members, bust in at the worst time screaming "XEMNAS IS MY BABY DADDY!"
- Yell and fuss he needs to pay the child support or you will have the authorities bust 'em.
- Politely correct him saying that its not Organization XIII, but Orgy XIII.
- Paint the walls in his room tyedye, saying they needed a splash of color in the plain white room
- Make sure to post some yaoi of him and Saix while your at it
- When he starts the most important battle of his life, comment on his extrememly gay lightsabers that come out of his hand.
- Start calling him Darth Vader (cuz of the Etheral Blades y'know?)
- Everytime he sends you on a mission, whine and complain that you've been doing EVERYTHING around here.
- Paint his cloaks a bright neon color and say it matches his eyes beautifully.
- Make him have a staring contest with you, then sneeze in his face.
- Asks why there's so many guys and only 2 girls.
- When he says why, just intterupt and ask him if he's coming out of the closet about his gayness.
- Play Numa Numa and start a congo line and force him into it.
- Make him smile (jeez that would be creepy owo")
- Cosplay as Xenhort and command him to bow down and kiss your big toe (Bonus if you do it during a meeting)
- If he doesn't say you will find the Keeper of Granola Bars and make him eat oatmeal for the rest of his life... or until he disappears... whichever one comes first...
- Whenever he walks into the Gray Area, comment on how he struts not walk... struts...
- Everytime he says the word "and" make a random animal noise.
- Ask him why he sits in the tallest chair.
- Interrupt in the middle of the conversation and start yelling "NO! NO IT'S NOT THE TRUTH! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"
- Dye his hair crimson and comment on how much he wants Axel. (Poor Axel!)
- In a middle of a conversation, disappear in a corridor, saying your going to go pick up his hoe, Sora.
- Cosplay as him, walking around saying your the real Xemnas.
- Then promptly flash everyone to piss them off...
- ... Then lead them into his room and hide while they gang up on him.
- After everything he say, ask why?
- On a day off when there at the beach, dig a really deep hole then cover it with a towel.
- Tell him you laid that towel for him, then run like hell when his ass falls into the hole. (BONUS IF YOU PUT A CRAB IN THERE LOL!)
- When he walks into a room, spray him with a fire extinguisher, yelling OMG SPIDER ON YOUR FACE!!!!
- Put hair removal cream in his conditioner.
- Dispose of all of his toothpaste and replace it with Orajel.
- Snicker when he finds out his mouth will be numb for the next hour!
- One day when he's on a mission, take all of his things and dump it in the bath tub.
- Snicker to yourself as he tries to firgure out how the hell it got there.
- Dress up as a Heartless and follow him, making weird noises and hiding when he turns around.
- If your even more of a daredevil dress up as Saix and take a picture of him and hide when he notices the flash of the camera!
- During a really important meeting, scream at the top of your lungs "WHAT'S SEX?"
- Then make him explain it to you in full detail...
- Repeatedly call him Mansex because that's his real name.
- MAKE HIM READ THIS!
-13 Ways To Annoy Xemnas-
1. Run around his office screaming and giggling like you're insane
2. Ask Demyx to play his sitar outside of his office while he's working
3. Replace his newspaper with Xaldin's magazine
4. When he's in sitting in his favorite chair, run over to him and say Saix desperately needs him. When he leaves, steal the chair
5. Meow at him when he walks down the hallway
6. Spray-paint his room pink and blame Marluxia
7. During a meeting, wave your hand in the air screaming, 'Pick me! Pick me!' When he calls on you, say, 'I forgot.'
8. Wait for him to start drinking his coffee in the morning and then state casually, but loudly, 'You know, you and Saix make a great couple.'
9. Sit on his desk and stare at him with wide eyes for two hours
10. Put a rabid weasel in his desk and blame Demyx
11. Play Karaoke Revolution when he's trying to work. Sing loudly and off-key
12. Steal everyone's weapons and hide them under his bed
ungodly hours of the night, call his name frantically and insist that he come quickly. When he DOES come, ask him if he slept well.
Xemnas stared at the list before him and twitched in horror. One of his Organization members put it up, and when he found out whom they would pay dearly...
234 Ways to annoy Lord Voldemort
1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'
2. Laugh at him.
3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.
6. Smile during Death-Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.
7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.
11. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.
12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.
13. Call him 'The-man-who-let-the-boy-live'
14. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'
15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.
16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.
17. Be cheerful.
18. When he tries to impress you with his powers say 'Awwwww, look it. Voldie's got a twiggle!'
19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.
20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.'
21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.'
22. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? What's that, a washing detergent?'
23. Keep a 'good-behavior chart'. Award points and give out gold stars.
24. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.
25. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. *poof* there *poof* gone *poof* there...
26. Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one?
27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you.
28. 'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?'
29. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.
30. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly.
31. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drum roll.
32. Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little heart here, o dark one' whenever he starts to talk of what has caused to become who he is.
33. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'
34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.
35. Mock his choice of Quirrel as a 'host'.
36. Tell you think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways'
37. Get the song 'Mr. Tambourine Man' stuck in his head.
38. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say you 'thought you were helping!'
39. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.
40. Buy him a stress ball.
41. Hint that he is only a character in a book and will never triumph.
42. Call him Tommy-boy.
43. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo.
44. Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes.
45. Say he 'looked better under the turban'
46. Eat his pet snake. Offer him some.
47. Endeavor to teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'.
48. Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length.
49. Be generally in awe of him and never look away.
50. 'Imperius' his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful'
51. Shower him with confetti and rice, anytime you think he needs to make a 'grand entry'.
52. Paint all the Death-Eater masks with bright colours and glitter.
53. Throw him a 'care-bears' themed birthday party.
54. Tell him what Snape's really up to.
55. Politely exclaim now and again that you 'don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles'
56. Sing 'California Dreamin' at the top of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment'
57. Should you ever be eating with him - drum tunes with your cutlery, play with your food and blow bubbles in your chocolate milk.
58. Ask him to dance a polka with you.
59. Work cutesy phrases like 'pushing-up-daisies' and 'smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom' into conversation as much as possible.
60. Ask him if he's sure 'the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power-and-revenge thing isn't getting a bit old?'
61. Get him to play 'Twister' with you.
62. Tell him you know this great therapist in London...
63. Throw Tupperware parties. Insist he sit through them.
64. Tell him you've met plenty of people more evil than he.
65. Hide his teddy bear. That ALWAYS makes him cry.
66. Get him a plant. Act mortally offended when he doesn't water it and it dies.
67. Steal, snap and bury his wand.
68. Tell him Lucius did it.
69. Give Rita Skeeter full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.
70. Remind him that he isn't even really alive.
71. Write him a theme song. Start singing it whenever he is about to do or say something particularly clever and nasty.
72. Offer to sacrifice Draco Malfoy 'to the cause'
73. Insist on reading him bedtime stories. Include 'The Ugly Duckling'
74. Make vague allusions to Harry Potter being his son.
75. When he's done something particularly nasty - cross your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do you really think Salazar would have approved of that?'
76. Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of 'that sweet, innocent, cute little boy.'
77. Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.
78. Lecture him at great length on why he shouldn't use the unforgivables.
79. Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy'
80. Begin any question you ask him with 'Riddle me this!' Emphasis on Riddle.
81. Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated by him. Treat him as you would an eccentric acquaintance.
82. Cuddle him at random moments.
83. Sign him up for Little-League.
84. Ask him why he's afraid of a frail old man with a beard the size of a beehive and can't fight babies.
85. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.
86. Tell him you think evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girlie'
87. Quote Argus Filch. Insist HE will one day rule the wizarding world.
88. Wonder aloud whether the name Voldemort commands as much respect as, say, Potter or Dumbledore.
89. Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice.
90. Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements.
91. Write sonnets for him.
92. Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning.
93. Offer him ice cream cake.
94. Tell people he's 'really just a big softie'
95. Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildly depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak'.
96. Mock his baldness.
97. Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Volders?' at inopportune moments. (Ie: another of his attempted 'evil moments')
98. Get him drunk.
99. Drag out a banjo at Death Eater revels and start playing 'Kumbayah'
100. Let him catch you trying on Death-Eater robes.
101. Be Harry Potter. Be alive.
102. When he is eating tell him to mind his manners, sit up straight, set the table properly and to keep his elbows off the table.
103. Whenever he is plotting to do something bad, say Voldy, that isn't nice.
104. Remind him it's been over ten years and he still hasn't killed Harry.
105. Sit him down and force him to go through Harry's photo album with all the pictures of Harry alive and happy.
106. Ask him which one of his ancestors married a snake. Act disgusted.
107. Stare around at the other death eaters during meetings. Lean over to him and ask him why he chose them. Ask him why he could not manage to get more volunteers so that he could actually have some good choices.
108. Ask him if it hurt him when Bellatrix left him for Rudolphus.
109. At death eater meetings, get everyone to be quiet. Use the Sonorus spell. Then say..."Did you know that Lord Voldemort's father was actually a muggle named Tom Riddle? Did you know that our Lord who strives for pureblood is actually a half-blood himself."
110. Stand behind him and mock everything that he says.
111. Ask him if he can help you pass your NEWT in Muggle Studies. Then ask him if he got a NEWT in the subject.
112. Ask him if he's met Darth Vader.
113. Try to teach him the dance moves.
114. Put a "Kick Me" sign on the back of his robes with a permanent sticking charm.
115. Give him a Wal-Mart smiley face sticker and say "Enjoy shopping with our Roll-Back prices."
116. Force him into a McDonald's playpen.
117. Whenever he enters the room, sing him his new theme song: "Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort. He who should not be naaaamed. Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort. He's playing a dirty game!"
118. Address him as m'am instead of sir by "accident."
119. Every so often, punch him in the arm and say "muscle spasm!"
120. During meal time, throw stuffed animals at his head.
121. Tell him it is a message from above.
122. Give him a gift certificate to Starbucks on his Birthday.
123. On Father's Day, tell him that he is like a father to you and give him a big hug. And flowers too.
124. Cover the floor of his shower with axle grease.
125. Buy him a pink fur coat.
126. Write "I love you! -From your secret admirer." on his mirror with bright red lipstick.
127. T.P. his room with scented toilet paper.
128. Buy him a little fluffy kitten named Fru-fru.
129. Tell him he would look more manly if he shaved his legs and chest.
130. Put itching powder in his "evil" shoes.
131. Take him on a double date.
132. Make that a blind double date.
133. Tell his date he naturally has green scaly feet.
134. Buy him a subscription of Nick Jr. Magazine.
135. Sign him up for the Care Bear mailing list.
136.Take him to Six Flags and make him ride the Boomerang and buy pictures of him on it.
137. He has to ride the Rainbow ride too.
138. Redecorate his room with Bob the Builder wallpaper and a pink canopy and bed sheets.
139. Block the Evil Channel on his T.V. and tell him that to much evil will give him nightmares.
140. Get his sister to fall in love with you.
141. Marry her so that you can become his half brother.
142. Tie him up and make him watch a 30 hour marathon of Lizzie McGuire.
143. Then make him eat nothing but brain food for 3 months.
145. After the 3 months of torture is over, tell him his complexion has really improved.
146. Make him eat spinach. Tell him it's good for his colon.
147. On his Birthday, make him wear a Burger King crown. And when you have cake, tell him that a candle for every year wouldn't fit on the cake. Remind him that he's 65 years old at every possible moment.
148. When he is sick, feed him chicken soup and read him the parts in the Harry Potter books where Harry defeats him. Tell what he could have done better.
149. Put a sign on his door that says "Enter at your own risk. Evil Warlord inside." Put stickers on it.
150. Buy him the Candyland computer game.
151. Buy him Harry Potter video games and tell him that if he plays it, he will know what Harry will do next.
152. Take away his scissors and make him use plastic ones.
153. Tell him his cat would look more like him if he shaved it.
154.Take him to a party and make him sing "Take Good Care of my Baby on the karaoke.
155. Throw him a birthday party invite all his Death Eaters and show parts of the Harry Potter movies.
156. Send him a large, rotten fruitcake for Christmas. Include a large, hideous pair of knitted socks and a book on "Learning to Not Be Evil".
157. While he is sleeping, take all his robes and die them pretty, bright colors, such as pink and purple.
158. Put some Iron-ons on his robes that say something cute and nice and have things like butterflies on them.
159. Don't let him drink anything but a special fruit energy drink that you made yourself for two weeks (the drink is made out so orange juice, strawberry frozen yogurt, and fish).
160. If you ever take Voldemort to a party, make him sing, "take good care of my baby" on the karaoke.
161. Buy him fuzzy-bunny slippers for his birthday.
162. Tackle him and yell "DOGPILE!"
163. Give him an all expense paid month living with a therapist document for his birthday.
164. Look at him with an all-knowing smirk and when he threatens you just reply in a sweet sing-song voice, "I know something you don't know!"
165. Teach him the electric slide and say he can't leave his room until he can do it perfectly.
166. Frequently ask him the question "guess what?" and when he says "what" say "your dad was a muggle."
167. Point to his robes while asking one of his death eaters if they are missing any rather ugly curtains.
168. On his birthday get him a balloon that says "get well soon."
169. Tell him that you blew your nose on his robes.
170. When he is plotting an evil plan start singing "What if God was one of us?"
171. Take him to a Quidditch match. Point out the best Seeker on the field and tell him that's what Harry Potter could become if he stopped bugging him so much.
172. Throw him a CareBears Birthday Party.
173. "Oh Voldie you're SO SO HOT let me give a big, wet KISS"...
174. "C'mon Voldie, Powerpuff Girls are on TV!"
175. Tell him: "J.K's going to kill you on her last book you know."
176. When he's out make the theme for his room with pink flowers and butterflies.
177. Walk up to him, put your arms around him and start singing, "I know you I've walked with you once upon a dream..."
178. Make him a knitted sweater and stitch on the back "Slap me."
179. Buy him a home waxing kit for his unibrow.
180. Make him ride the play horses that sit infront of grocery stores.
181. When you run out of quarters, force him to stand on the street with you begging for more.
182. When he smiles, ask him if they believe in toothbrushes at wherever he came from
183. Record everything he says and play the recordings back to him in his sleep.
184. Ask him if he likes the Weird Sisters.
185. "Hey,Voldie, come on with that popcorns! Harry Potter and a Goblet of Fire is on TV!"
186. "Hey Voldie...I found your diary" (Tom Riddle's diary).
187. Ask him if he's ever looked at himself in the mirror.
188. Take him shopping and go straight to the day care station and tell him that you will be back in a couple of minutes.
189. Get him one of the Harry Potter action figure for his birthday.
190. Get him to watch Lilo and Stitch the movie with the Death Eaters so that they will know how to be good like Stitch.
191. Stick some Harry Potter posters in his room while he's out.
192. Sing him a lullaby every time he sleeps.
193. Tell him that he must be a good boy so that Santa Claus will give him a pair of underwear with Harry on it.
194. Get him one of Mozart's baby CD and play it while he sleeps.
195. Mock one of Harry Potter's lines in the book that involves his greatness.
196. Change his reading glasses to a glasses exactly like Harry's.
197. Ask him if he wears color contact lenses.
198. Ask him if when he was rearranging the letters in his name why he couldn't have come up with something more threatening than Voldemort? "I mean Voldemort what kind of name is that? ooh I'm scared now! Voldemort ahhh!
199. Submit him for The Bachelor.
200. Use spray paint to write on his walls and write 'Snape was here'.
201. Make up "yo mama" jokes to everything he says.
202. Stick his hand in a glass of warm water while he's sleeping.
203. Get him a Harry Potter computer game and tell him that only in the game he can kill Harry.
204. Get some friends together, sneak into a Death Eaters' meeting, and bring lots of confetti and pink streamers.
205. Tell him that he must be crazy to think that his death eaters will listen to his orders when he is almost dead.
206. Tell him that he's too short and that he needs platform shoes.
207. Buy him pink robes and explain that pink is the new black.
208. When he's sleeping, draw a scar on his forehead.
209. Secretly design his room with Harry Potter posters and with black marker write 'Don't You LOVE him?'
210. Remind him how good looking he used to be.
211. Laugh when he's trying to say something serious.
212. Pat his head.
213. Buy him a wig that looks like Harry Potter's hair for Christmas.
214. Call him 'Hottie' or 'Sugar'.
215. Insist on calling him Moldy Voldy
216. Say, "Well! Somebody needs a little sunshine up his jumper today, would you say?" when he threatens you with any one or more of the unforgivables.
217. Write theme music for him and start playing it every time he enters the room.
218. Offer to give him his first kiss in front of at least five Death Eaters.
219. Offer to get him into Hogwarts by dressing him up as a first year girl.
220. Get him an apron that says "kiss the evil cook."
221. Ask him what happened to give him that high pitched voice. Giggle as though you have an idea what happened.
222. Ask about the one-eyed snake. Insist you were talking about his pet.
223. Give him lace panties for his birthday.
224. Sing the infamous "darth vader" theme when he enters a room.
225. Force him to go to muggle garage sales with you EVERY weekend.
226. Ask him to watch an episode of 'Care Bears' with you, and insist he watch it fully, even the credits. Then after, ask him which bear he thinks you are, then tell him which you think he is.
227. Insist that he goes to the Yule Ball with you, then make him slow dance in the middle of the crowd with you. Don't forget, everyone wants that special kiss on their special evening, and so does Voldemort!
228. Buy him Good Charlotte CDs for his birthday.
229. Tell his Death Eaters it was his orders that they all wear pink tutus.
230. Offer to let him borrow your strawberry lip gloss.
231. Do some y-ya-him-a-shelabba magic on him beleive me that wil trick him!!
232. Call him "Moldy shorts" and when he gets mad, tell him that he should wash them at least once in awhile!
233. Bring a whole bunch of muggles and let them play around with them and a bunch of them will sing!
234. Cook him 'evil' chicken soup when he gets a cold and mother him half to death.
How to Annoy Sesshomaru
These are some funny things you can do to annoy Sesshomaru. Although... he could kill you I suppose... (If you ever meet him. Not likely though, he is locked up in my room right now with the others.)
1. Dress him up like Inuyasha.
2. Poke him and run away.
3. Sing "Sesshomaru and (your name here) sitting in a tree..."
4. Say how great Inuyasha and the Tetsusaiga are together.
5. Play Truth or Dare and when he picks Truth ask him how he keeps his hair so shiny, soft and manageable.
6. Dress Jaken like Shippo.
7. Dress Rin like Kagome.
8. Practice the Windscar on him with a stick.
9. Put him in a baboon skin .
10. Constantly say how cute Inuyasha's ears are.
11. Ask him if he still has his severed arm.
12. Try on his fluff.
13. Take his clothes while he's bathing.
14. Play with his hair at the oddest times.
15. Pet his fluff and murmur "Fluuuuuffy" in his ear while he's sleeping.
16. Play house with Rin saying he's the daddy, you're the mommy, and Rin's the baby! Jaken is... er... the family bumpy thing.
17. Pester him about how deep down, he really likes Inuyasha.
18. Tell him to stop acting all proper-like.
19. Poke him when he's asleep.
20. Make him stand with an apple on his head and tell him you're trying to improve your aim with a bow and arrow so you can be like Kagome.
21. Beg him to get you some of his shampoo.
22. Paint his nails day-glo orange while he's asleep.
23. Stare at him and drool.
24. Make him wear the garlands of flowers you make.
25. Point out yet again about how cute Inuyasha's ears are.
26. Ask him where he got his make-up.
27. Put fake Inuyasha ears on him.
28. While he's asleep, put him in some women's clothes and take pictures.
29. Constantly touch his forehead and say: "Are you sure you don't have a fever because you're HOOOOTTTT!"
30. Dump a bucket of water on him afterword and say: "Cool down!"
31. Draw on his face with a permanent marker while he's asleep.
32. Tickel him-
33. -with his fluff.
34. Ask him why he doesn't own the Tetsusaiga.
35. Ask him what the Tenseiga does.
36. Squeal everytime he walks into the room.
37. Ask him about his love life.
38. Some people think that Sesshomaru would be offended and annoyed if you called him Fluffy so... call him Fluffy-all the time-dance around him-singing "Ring around the Fluffy! My Lord of the Puppies! He's so cute! My Puppiepie! We all fall down!" or "How much is that Fluffy in the window? The one with the puffy tail? How much is that Fluffy in the window? I do hope that Fluffy's for sale!".
39. Hit on him constantly and embarrassingly in front of everyone and anyone.
40. Ask him if he really thinks Naraku is good-looking.
41. Ask him why Rin follows him around.
42. Run in circles around him-
44. -about how he doesn't have ears like Inuyasha.
45. Ask him where he gets his nails done.
46. Ask him about "that night at Naraku's,i -".
47. Wake him up every half an hour and in the morning ask how he slept.
48. Ask him to read this.
49. Ask him if he's a virgin and if he is-ask him why.
50. Continously question his gender.
52. Kidnap Rin.(just for fun!!)
53. Take him to an anime convention.
54. Ask him about Kagura.
55. Drool on his fluff.
56. Tell him that at first glance he looks like a girl.
57. Dye his hair pink.
58. Braid his hair.
59. Tell him he looks like Inuyasha from behind.
60. Right when he falls asleep, you scream at the top of your lungs, "It's Inuyasha!" Then when Sesshy wakes up you're like, "Oh wait, never mind, it's only Jaken in a bunny suit."
'We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will'- Chuck Palahniuk
'In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years' - Abraham Lincoln
'For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible'- Stuart Chase
'Better to write for yourself and have no public than to write for the public and have no self'- Cyril Connolly
'Show me a hero, and I will write you a tragedy'- F.Scott Fitzgerald
'Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to'- Unknown