Author has written 8 stories for Avengers, Thor, and Ironman.
Hey, people! If you are reading this, good for you! Even if you found it by accident, whatever! Your still reading it, aren't you? Here is a virtual cookie, to make your stay more pleasurable. (). If you want chocolate chip, we have that to. (:). Enjoy your stay at the profile page! Warning: My profile is deliciously long. You may not want to read all of it, so everything is headed. Or you can read it straight through. I don't know about you, but I like reading long profiles.
IF YOU WANT TO SKIP THIS, CLICK THE 'HIDE BIO' BUTTON AND IT WILL ALL GO AWAY...
So, about me:
1) I am between 1-1000000 years old.
2) I have a Sense of smell.
3) I do not like broccoli.
4) I am not in a mental hospital. (Yet!)
5) I do not have a cat.
6) I am a budding author. (*Hint hint* I'm on FanFiction *hint hint*)
7) I have read all the 'Harry Potter' books, and seen all the movies.
8) My zodiac is Scorpio.
9) My Chinese new year is a dragon. (Yay!)
10) My Pinterest: Stella Caspien. (FromTheAsh)
I think that just about covers all the boring "About me things you don't really care about' things.
10 things About you:
1) You are reading this list.
2) You think that last thing was dumb.
3) You are now reading this, thinking, "This person needs a life."
4) You are smiling now.
5) You didn't notice I missed three.
6) You just scrolled up to check.
7) There was really a three, so now you are confused.
9) You checked to make sure you didn't miss anymore.
10) You didn't notice I missed eight.
11) You just checked to see if there was a eight, and now you are laughing.
12) You can't believe you fell for that.
13) I'm going to stop now, there was only supposed to be ten things, you know.
14) You just went and counted the numbers on the list.
Copy and paste things:
If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you want a dragon, post this into your profile.
If you think that animal abusers are jerks, copy this onto your profile.
If you actually take the time to read other peoples profiles, copy this to yours.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're so addicted to fanfiction that you can't get to sleep at night because your mind is going on with the story you're writing or reading copy and paste in your profile. (OOOHHH yeah...)
If you ever wished you could live in a story, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hoped for a Hogwarts letter the day you turned eleven, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Totally!)
If you have a quick temper, copy and paste this.
If you look at your friend and you both laugh for no apparent reason, copy and paste this to show you guys are crazy!
If most of the guys in your class are morons, copy and paste this to show you want to cart them to a deserted island!
If you LOVE to read, and read often, copy and paste this!
If at one time you have misspelled or forgotten how to spell a word less that is or is less than four letters long, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.
If you run into inanimate objects...and then blame them for it copy and paste this onto your profile.
98% of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels!
98% of the teenage population has done or blah blah blah something about drugs...Put this on your profile if YOU LIKE DONUTS!
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you ever tripped over nothing, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you love thunder storms, copy and paste this onto your profile!
.eliforp ruoy otni etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless (but fun!), and you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have started a copy and paste, (And think that nobody will ever use it!) copy and paste this is into your profile.
If you find yourself making fanfictions of other fanfictions in your head, post this inyour profile.
If you dream of killing a character in a book so you can go out with their boyfriend, post this in your profile.
If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull, or pulled the handle on a door that said push, copy this into your profile
If you are random (and don't care!) copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (No... I'm really a zombie.)
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these, (there's more! BWHAHAHAHA!) copy this into your profile!
Without God, our week would be:
Re-post this if you are not ashamed of GOD.
The girl you just called fat? She is overdosing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that man with the ugly scars? He fought for his country. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. Put this on your profile if you're against bullying. I bet 95% of people won't repost this. Are you the 5% or 95%?
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE:
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
RIP. We shall remember.
This poem made me cry... So enjoy!
Her hair was up in a ponytail
But her mommy tried to tell her,
But she was not afraid;
But still her mother worried,
But the little girl went to school,
There were daddies along the wall in back,
One by one the teacher called,
At last the teacher called her name,
"Where's her daddy at?"
And from somewhere near the back,
The words did not offend her,
And with hands behind her back,
"My Daddy couldn't be here,
And though you cannot meet him,
He loved to tell me stories
We used to share fudge sundaes,
"Cause my daddy's always with me,
With that, her little hand reached up,
And from somewhere in the crowd of dads,
For she stood up for the love
And when she dropped her hand back down,
"I love my daddy very much,
You see he was a fireman
But sometimes when I close my eyes,
And to her mother's amazement,
Who knows what they saw before them,
"I know you're with me Daddy,"
Not one in that room could explain it,
And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
They say it takes a minute to find a
Send this to the people you'll never
If you don't send it to anyone, it means
"You know how everyone says the magic word is please? That's not true. The magic word is puke. It will get you out of class faster then anything else."
-Percy Jackson (Rick Riordan)
"I think that raisin cookies were meant as a practical joke, and never intended to be eaten."
- Grey Heffley (Jeff Kinney)
"Dealing with pain is a lot like dealing with a bad rainstorm. As loud and scary as it is at the moment, it will stop eventually. The trick is to not grieve over what was washed away, but discover the wonders of dancing in the puddles."
- Ellie Baker
"Be obscure clearly."
- E.B. White
"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."
"It takes a minute to find someone special, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire lifetime to forget them."
"I'm listening." (Elizabeth puts gun to his head) "I'm listening intently."
- Lord Beckett; Pirates of the Caribbean
"Who made these?" "I did, and I practice with them for three hours a day!" "You need to find yourself a girl, matey."
- Jack Sparrow and Will Turner; Pirates of the Caribbean
“When you wish upon a falling star, Your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.”
"God creates dinosaurs, God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man, man destroys God, man creates dinosaurs." "Dinosaurs...eat man, woman inherits the Earth."
- Dr Ellie Sattler and Dr. Ian Malcom (Jurassic Park)
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
Words of Wisdom:
You’re a great friend, but if zombies chase us, I’m tripping you.
Friends are the ones who cry with you. Best friends are the ones who stand there with a shovel and ask who did it.
Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself! It's rude!
Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.
My voices tell me that your voices are dorks.
The odds don't worry me, I'm gambling with your life.
I don't have a short attention span! I just...oh look, a kitten!
Rawr! It means "I love you" in dinosaur.
Hold up! I can't hear you. Let me turn down my awesomeness...
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.
They don't know that we know that they know we know.
You'll always be my friend. You know too much.
The voices in my head are fighting again.
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.
Women are true magicians. They can make money disappear into thin air.
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
I am so clever that sometimes even I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
Anyone who uses the phrase “easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried taking candy from a baby.
When I walk out the portal, this is what I see
All the Avengers are coming for ME
I've got an army and some magic and I ain't afraid to
I'M LOKI AND I KNOW IT!!
"I am Loki, of Asgard. And I am burdened, with glorious purpose."
Here are some random things I put on here with no explanation, and expect you to understand:
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Silence is golden, but duck tape is silver.
The sky was the limit. Then we discovered space.
Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
I used up all my sick days at work, so I'm calling in dead.
I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you... you're just not laughing.
Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. . . if well-aimed.
We are the people our parents warned us about.
If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire.
If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done?
Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was “too small” and too “off its orbit” for some scientists’ likings. Next they'll be telling us Jupiter is "too big!" LONG LIVE PLUTO!
The leading cause for divorce is marriage.
Remember: If someone insults you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 2 to reach out and bitch-slap them.
Dear Students, I can tell when you're texting in class; no one stares down at their crotch and just smiles.
I love it how, in horror movies, the woman calls out "Hello?" Like the killer's gonna say "Yeah, I'm in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?"
If you find you don’t like a person, walk a mile in their shoes. Then, you’ll have stolen their shoes and you’re a mile away from them!
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence you tried.
Wear short sleeves; support the right to bare arms!
What starts with 'F' and ends in 'Uck?' A Firetruck!
People are like Slinkies; good for nothing, but still put a smile on your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
Dear Math, I am not a therapist. Go solve your own damn problems!
Dear Math, I cannot find your x. She's not coming back. Don't ask me y. Just get over it.
When someone sweeps you off your feet, remember you're in the perfect position to be dropped on your ass.
Guys: No shirt, no service. Girls: No shirt, no charge.
Worst excuse for not doing your homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy from.
You laugh because I'm different; I laugh because you're all the same.
Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
Ideas not coupled with action never become any bigger than the brains cells they occupied.
If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, then only left handed people are in their right mind. (Maybe that explains why I'm considered crazy.)
Anyone who says nothing's impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door.
Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!
Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words.
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen.
Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
Kids Are Quick:
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
TEACHER: Glen, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Annoying things to do in a elevator:
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
2) STAND silent and motionless in the
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE at another passenger for a
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
12) TRY to make personal calls on the
13) DRAW a little square on the floor
14) WHEN there's only one other person
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
16) ASK if you can push the button for
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
Dear Two-leg Family,
This is too much of a time saver not to share with you.
1) Put 1/8 cup pet shampoo in the toilet.
Ways to maintain a healthy leval of insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso .
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds."
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. dont use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems don't rhyme.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!
Here's a joke...
there are 3 men who need to get across a lake...
the 1st one prays to God asking for the strength to get across...
he gets big muscles and swims across...
but almost dies 5 times...
the 2nd1 prays to God for the strength and the tools he needs to get across...
he gets his big muscles and boat and rows across...
but he almost dies 3 times...
the 3rd 1 prays to God, for the strength, tools, and the brains...
he turns into a woman...
walks 4 yards...
and crosses the bridge
50 Ways to Land Yourself In Detention:
1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as you walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)
2. After everything your teacher says, ask why continuously.
3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG?????” very loudly.
4. If your teacher starts blowing up at you for saying that, simply reply, “wow I can tell you’re a blast at parties”
5. Sit in a corner and wait for everyone to stare at you. When they do, grab your head and scream “ THE LIGHT! MAKE IT STOP! ARGH IT BURNS!!!!”
6. Flick pieces of paper around the class.
7. When your teacher tells you to stop, cross your arms and say, “Your racist against paper aren’t you.”
8. Don’t do your Homework.
9. When your teacher asks you why you didn’t do your homework say “I dropped it while beating up this guy for saying you’re the worst teacher ever.” then sit there and smile sweetly.
10. When you have a supply teacher, wait for them to write their name on the board. Then when they say hello my name it Mr./Mrs (insert name here), you stand up and say “PROVE IT!”
11. When your teacher asks why you were late say, “My goldfish died.” Then burst into tears.
12. When handing in your homework, write this paper will self-destruct in 5 seconds at the bottom.
13. When you leave the class bow and say, “May the force be with you, young one.”
14. When the teacher turns the light off, start singing opera as loud as you can. When they turn the light back on, look around pretending to be confused.
15. Whisper to the person next to you. When the teacher comes up behind you, scream “OMG GET AWAY! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!”
16. Walk into class dancing the Macarena
17. Tell your teacher you heard the other teachers talking about him/her in the staff room
18. Raise your hand and say "I totally agree" after everything your teacher says
19. Spend the whole lesson trying to lick your elbow
20. Speak in French.
21. Come late to class in a Spider-Man costume; say there was "a disturbance”
22. When they tell someone to turn around have everyone in class do it as well
23. "The homework’s due now? Oh, give me a minute then."
24. Hand in an essay where every word is mispelt.
25. Run in the room screaming, “THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!”
26. When the teacher asks you why you are late, say, “the queen is never late, everyone else is simply early”.
27. When a teacher asks you a question, say, “I’m sorry, the brain you tried to reach has been disconnected, please leave me alone or try again later, thank you.”
28. When the teacher turns on the overhead projector, scream “AAH MY EYES!!”
29. Tell yourself knock knock jokes, then laugh loads.
30. Hide under your desk and yell “THE SKY IS FALLING!”
31. When someone knocks on the door, shout “OH NO, THEY’RE COMING FOR ME!”
32. Bring in a year 7 and says he’s your new pet.
33. In your technology lesson, when the teacher asks you what you are making, say a nuclear bomb.
34. When your teacher asks you a question just stare at them.
35. Constantly talk to yourself in a low voice.
36. Purposely fall off your chair and make a big scene about it.
37. If you’re playing a really boring game, make a big deal if you win.
38. Glue all their scissors together.
39. Make paperclip jewellery. E.g. necklaces, earrings etc…
40. Pull out one strand of someone’s hair and yell “DNA!”
41. Wear a sticker or a badge that says ‘I am retarded’
42. Talk to a pen.
43. Put your hand up in a test and wait for your teacher to come over. When they whisper what’s wrong, yell “NO I WON’T SNOG YOU!”
44. Yell “LIAR!” to everything they say.
45. Smile. All the time.
46. Draw a tiny black spot on your arm. Make it bigger everyday. Look at it and say, “It’s spreading, IT’S SPREADING!”
47. When a supply teacher is taking the register, say everyone is missing. Then, if they ask who you are, say ‘Your worst Nightmare’
48. When you know the answer, bounce up and down a go " OOOHH I KNOW THIS"
49. When a teacher calls on you say, " I forgot"
50. If you have to blow your nose in class, blow your nose to the tune of your favourite song.
Beware the letter "G." It is the end of everything.
When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and yell, "Taste the freaking rainbow!"
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Suicide is our way of saying to God, "You can't fire me! I quit!"
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
Bad spellers... U NIGHT!!!
Don't say bad words, only the worst ones.
THINK. It's not illegal yet.
Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!
LOOK! a distraction!
Without ME you're just AWESO
Growing old is obligatory. Growing up is optional.
Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
I can't dial 911... there's no 11 on my phone.
You think I'm... SARCASTIC? Watch me pretend to care.
This is the oath of a TURE FRIEND!
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask;
NEWS FLASH: Riptide and Annabeth's hat have became official PJO characters. You know what this means, don't you? I am now a official shipper of CAPTIDE, the greatest love story that was never told... XD! Just kidding! Am I the only one who thinks that two inanimate objects making 'character' status weird? AND if you search up Captide, hits actually come up! How weird/cool is that!?
Haikus are random.
They never make any sense.
Justin Beiber was kidnapped. 75% girls cry, 20% celebrate, 5% shrug. If you are that 1% that pokes your new captive with a stick and smiles, copy and paste this into your profile.
I cnduo't bvleiee taht I culod aulaclty uesdtannrd waht I was rdnaieg.
Unisg the icndeblire pweor of the hmuan mnid, aocdcrnig to rseecrah
at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mttaer in waht oderr the lterets in
a wrod are, the olny irpoamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be
in the rhgit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it
whoutit a pboerlm. Tihs is bucseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey ltteer by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Aaznmig, huh? Yaeh
and I awlyas tghhuot slelinpg was ipmorantt!
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, when I grew up I was BLACK, when I'm sick I'm BLACK, when I go into the sun I'm BLACK, when I'm cold I'm BLACK, when I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, when you're born you're PINK, when you grow up you're WHITE, when you're sick, you're GREEN, when you go in the sun you turn RED, when you're cold you turn BLUE and when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me coloured? Post this on your profile if you hate racism.
Why America has some issues:
1. Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'
10. Only in America... do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.
15 things to do at Walmart:
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"
Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things!
This is this cat. This is is cat. This is how cat. This is to cat. This is keep cat. This is an cat. This is idiot cat. This is busy cat. This is for cat. This is forty cat. This is seconds cat. Now go back and read the third word in each sentence from the top. Pass it on. Sorry, but I am a idiot to and thought that this was funny.
This is pig. Copy and paste pig onto your page so people can be jealous of your pig. (Feel the burn!)
This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods:
On Sears hairdryer:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
On a can of Manwich
Here is my FanFiction vocabulary list, and things I wish I knew earlier.
#1: Word - OOC. Context - 'Sorry, these characters might be slightly OOC.' Meaning - Out of character.
#2: Word - OC. Context - ' _and OC pairing; Submit your OC's, this is my OC.' Meaning -ordinary character.
#3: Word - Lemon. Context - 'Rated T for lemon; warning Lemon; Lemon. Don't like don't read.' Meaning - A graphic sex scene.
#4: Word - AU. Context - 'Avengers high school AU; Tony in Hogwarts AU.' Meaning - Alternate Universe
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