Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts: (borrowed from red-blood-purple-eyes
No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class
Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. “Polishing my wand” in the common room is not.
“Liften Separatis Crotchum” is not a real spell.
If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm.
I will not call the DADA teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
Professor Flitwick’s first name is not Yoda.
When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I
It is inappropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape’s personal postbox.I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.
I will not refer to the Accio charm as “The Force”.
Albus Dumbledore’s proper title is “Headmaster”, not “My Liege”.
I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I foresaw her death.
If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they are real animals.
I will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.
I will not tell first years that Moon Prism Power is a basic Transfiguration spell.
I will never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.
I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
I will not sing “We’re off to see the wizard” when sent to the Headmaster’s office.
The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife.
I shall not give Professor Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.
I may not chase Seamus Finnegan around school in search of his ‘Pot o’ Gold’. Nor am I allowed to tell people he’s a leprechaun on steroids.
I may not refer to Sirius Black as ‘Seriously Black’.
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says, ‘If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today
Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son
then copy and paste this in your profile
If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...
" If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."
If you love God with your whole heart and are 100 percent proud of it, copy & paste this in your profile.
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this; because in the Bible, it says that if you deny me, then I shall deny you before my Father in the gates of Heaven.
I’m a Christian and proud of it!! If you are a Christian please copy & paste this and then add your name here: Riku’s Music Lover, libithewolf, Spottedpaw13, xXObsidian BlazeXx, KarmaLovingFanfic, Genuka, Rowenasheir
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE (Thanks to: Emerald Sage)
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
A moment of silence.
This is an interesting story. Just read it through.
Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD good ?
Student : Sure.
Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?
Student : Yes.
Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?
(Student was silent.)
Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?
Student : Yes.
Professor: Is satan good ?
Student : No.
Professor: Where does satan come from ?
Student : From … GOD …
Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student : Yes.
Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Professor: So who created evil ?
(Student did not answer.)
Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor: So, who created them ?
(Student had no answer.)
Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?
Student : No , sir.
Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smell your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.
Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Student : And is there such a thing as cold?
Student : No, sir. There isn’t.
(The lecture theatre became very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)
Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?
Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?
Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?
Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.
Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)
Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?
(The class was in uproar.)
Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?
(The class broke out into laughter. )
Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)
Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.
Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.
The students name was Albert Einstein.
There was a professor of philosophy who was a deeply committed atheist. His primary goal for one required class was to spend the entire semester attempting to prove that God could not exist. His students were always afraid to argue with him because of his impecable logic.
For 20 years he had taught this class and no one had ever had the courage to go against him. Sure, some had argued in class at times, but no one had ever really gone "against him". No one would go against him because he had a reputation.
At the end of every semester, on the last day, he would say to his class of 300 students, "If there's anyone here who still believes in Jesus, stand up!" In 20 years, no one had ever stood up. They knew what he was going to do next. He would say,"because anyone who does believe in God is a fool". If God existed, he could stop this piece of chalk from dropping to the ground and breaking.
Such a simple task to prove that he is God and yet he can't do it! And every year, he would drop the chalk onto the tile floor of the class room and it would shatter into a hundred pieces. All of the students could do nothing but stop and stare. Most of the students were convinced that God couldn't exist. Certainly, a number of Christians had slipped through, but for 20 years, they had been too afraid to stand up.
Well, a few years ago, there was a freshman who happened to get enrolled in the class. He was a Christian and had heard the stories about this professor. He had to take the class because it was one of the required classes for his major. And he was afraid but for 3 months that semester he prayed every morning that he would have the courage to stand up no matter what the professor said or what the class thought. Nothing they said or did could ever shatter his faith, he hoped.
Finally the day came. The professor said, "If there is anyone here who still believes in God, stand up." The professor and the class of 300 people looked at him, shocked, as he stood up at the back of classroom. The professor shouted, "You fool! If God existed he could keep this piece of chalk from breaking when it hit the ground!" He proceeded to drop the chalk, but as he did, it slipped out of his fingers, off his shirt cuff, onto the pleat of his pants, down his leg, and off his shoe. As it hit the ground, it simply rolled away unbroken. The professor's jaw dropped as he stared at the chalk. He looked up at the young man then ran out of the lecture hall.
The young man who had stood up proceeded to walk to the front of the room and share his faith in Jesus for the next half hour. 300 students stayed and listened as he testified of God's love for them and of His power through Jesus.
Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98% of teenagers will not stand up for God?
Stand up of Jesus! Re-post this on your profile if you'd be that 1 of 300 to stand strong for God.
PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what... and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you. I bet 98 of you people that read this won't repost.
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this,because the in the Bible it says if you deny me,I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.
God totally owns fanfiction, everyone on it, every thought concerning it, every thought otherwise in the world, every particle in the world and universe, Is and loving and amazingly forgiving (takes a dramatic gasp of air and continues) has power and wisdom beyond even our wildest dreams, and DOES EXIST . If you agree, please, do copy and paste.
From a strictly MATHEMATICAL Viewpoint: What Equals 100 percent? What does it mean to give MORE than 100 percent? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent? We have all been in situations where someone wants you to give over 100 percent. How about achieving 101 percent? What equals 100 percent in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these Questions:
Even if you can't see him, God is there! if you believe in God copy and paste
I read this on "fragonknight01" and although funny, it is very true:
The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.
In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I've noticed that more and more people who send text messages and emails have long forgotten the "art" of capitalization. Those of you who fall into this world, please take note of the statement below. I cannot stress enough how grammar is very important to it.
"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse." Is everybody clear on that?
From my side, all Afrikaans speakers would appreciate the difference between, "hoërskool" and "hoerskool" especially those with daughters!
I saw this on krm3DeeDee and realised that, not only had my mother said most of these to my brother and I as children, but scarely enough I have used them numerous times on my own kids!
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
Rae Kelly (21)
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