Poll: Do you think Aang looks better with hair or without hair? Vote Now!
Author has written 1 story for Titanic, and Deltora Quest.
Hey, guys! My name is (this material has been censored in case of an online stalker) but you can call me Multi. I'm (also censored) years old. I'm an Australian girl all the way!
My favourite fandoms are ATLA, LOK, Hunger Games, Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, Titanic, The Book Thief and Deltora Quest. Along with everything on Nick and Disney. I'm also a die-hard romantic, so anything with fluffy, pointless stuff is what I live on.
I'm also slightly insane, but the police and mental hospitals haven't tracked me down yet. (Jokes!!!)
I'm a bit of a perfectionist who could be slightly OCD. If a story is full of mistakes, it doesn't matter how awesome it is, I won't read it. SPELL CHECK, PEOPLE!!!
Please give me feedback on my stories. One of my life goals is to publish a novel and I see this as training. To those of you who have a problem with my limited updates, I'm not going to hurry to write unless I think people like what I write, so please review!
If you think you should be able to watch what you want on TV without being called immature, copy and paste this into your profile.
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you'd be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.
If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.
If you are obsessed with FanFiction copy this into your profile.
If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingies, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE.
If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this onto your profile!
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you only read PJO fanfiction stories if the summary says PERCABETH, copy and paste this into your profile (or Clarisse/Chris or Thuke)
PERCABETH FOREVER!! (see above) IF YOU HATE PRACHEL, COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE.
If sarcasm is your first and favourite language, then copy & paste this into your profile.
If you repeatedly read page 203 in The Battle of the Labyrinth, copy and paste this into your profile!!
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: the fear of long words. Now, what SmartAss came up with that? If you think that is really funny, but can't pronounce it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're obsessed with PJO like me, copy this into your profile.
If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
90% of the American population would be sad if Justin Beiber jumped off of a roof and died. Copy and paste if you're one of the 10% who would be holding a video camera and shouting, "DO A BACKFLIP!!!"
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. (Was World War II the first world war?)
If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.
If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile!
If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile.
If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.
93% of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
If you have ever had to pretend that you knew what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you are so obsessed with something, that that is the only thing you think about, copy and paste this into your profile. (ATLA!!!)
If you are obsessed with KATAANG, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever watched an ATLA episode and wondered where the heck Appa's butthole is, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you are a Kataang fan and ever given the birdie to your TV screen when the gushy Jetara episode Jet was on, copy and paste into your profile.
If you read The Lost Hero, and dying to read the 2nd book, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are a human being with oodles of unknown talent, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you read this, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you don’t have a life and want it to stay that way, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think that makeup is equivalent to war paint, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think push-up bras and butt-showing short shorts should be banned from teenage society, copy and paste to your profile.
If you always come up with good comebacks after the argument has ended, copy and paste this to your profile.
If sarcasm is one of the many things you provide, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you’re a girl and have ever kicked a guy’s sorry butt into the next millennia, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you want to kill the person who said Avatar was a load of rubbish, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you don't use myspace and are proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever thrown something at your television when you saw a character you despised, whether it be a piece of popcorn, a fork, or a chair, copy and paste this to your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile
If you've ever fallen going up the stairs, copy this into your profile
If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song, Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, and Baa, Baa, Black Sheep had the same tune and were all composed by Mozart.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
I don't suffer from addiction to Kataang, I enjoy every minute of it! If you love Kataang, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think about Avatar practically 24/7, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think all those who think Zutara is the stupidest pairing, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think the Fruit Loop bird should go to an institution and friggin STAY there, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have bumped into an inanimate object and apologised to it copy and past this to your profile.
If you're completely insane, copy this into your profile.
If you like to chew on ice cubes, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever jumped back 20 feet when you put something on a grill, copy this to your profile.
If you believe every child deserves a chance to grow up and go to school, copy and paste this into your profile
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile.
If you actually take the time to read other peoples profiles, copy this to yours.
If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.
If you talk back to the recorded phone messages from principals, senatorial candidates, presidential campaigns, etc., copy and paste this into your profile!
If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingies, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!! XD
If you ever wondered who made up all the 'copy this into your profile' thingies then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!
If you have ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you're like in a parallel universe, put this on your profile.
A large percentage of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you are one of the ones that do and want to deck 'em, put this in your profile.
If you think Writer's Block is evil, put this in your profile.
Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If at one time you misspelt or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.
Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have an obsession, post this on your profile to tell all those who think that you aren't normal to get stuffed, because obsession RULES!
If you are a MOVIE QUOTER, which means you go around quoting movies for fun, copy and paste this into your profile.
EMBRACE THE WEIRDNESS! If you embrace the weirdness, then copy and paste this onto your profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you post this on your profile.
If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you realise that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are the only normal person in a world full of weirdos, copy and paste this into your profile.
Copy and paste this to your profile because you have nothing better to do.
Copy and paste this to your profile if every time your friends ask you what you did this morning you reply with something about being on the computer.
Copy and paste this to your profile if you like copy and paste thingies.
Copy and paste this to your profile if you have ever made a copy and paste.
Copy and paste this to your profile if you think that the backspace key is one of the best inventions ever.
If you love fire, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a constant desire to whack idiots over the head with a mallet that somehow wouldn't kill/knock out/cause permanent brain damage the person, and rather make them feel bad and stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.
It takes 46 muscles to frown, and 26 muscles to smile, but only 4 muscles to reach out and smack that person!
Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Working hard never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
I'm the author of my own life, and unfortunately, I'm writing in pen.
This is NOT Burger King. You can't have it "your way."
A day without sunshine is... like, you know, night.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Facebook: The only place I can write on walls, poke people, own a pot farm, put a hit out on a friend, & talk about myself all day & no one bats an eyelash!
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
HOW TO GET KICKED OUT OF STORES: Hide in a bathroom stall. When someone opens the door, say, "Welcome to Narnia."
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Some people are like slinkies. They have absolutely no use, but you can't help but smile when they fall down the stairs.
Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Normality is an abnormality in this locality.
I don’t make typos. I make new words.
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is just stand still and look stupid.
Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Arc.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion... it's just that yours is stupid.
I'm not crazy. My reality is just different than yours.
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be ecstatic.
If things get better with age, then I'm approaching magnificence. (Heh, my mum said this, and I thought it was funny.)
I'm not fluent in idiot. Could you talk a little slower?
I'm doing research on stupidity, so keep talking.
I don't suffer from insanity... I love every minute of it.
I can only please one person a day. Today isn't your day... and tomorrow doesn't look so hot, either.
Do not disturb... I'm disturbed enough already.
You are the reason people like me need medication.
You're just jealous because I'm the only one the voices talk to.
The extinction of the dinosaurs was no accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.
Welcome to the dark side. We have cookies!
Before you criticise a person, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticise them, you'll be a mile away, and have their shoes!
An idiot is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire their work.
I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly.
There are three kinds of people- those who count, and those who can't.
Warning: trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.
If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off.
I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
I like you. When I rule the world your death will be quick and painless.
Death is Life's way of telling you, 'You're fired!'
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
Friends are God’s apology for relatives.
Last night I lay looking up at the stars, and thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
I didn't fall. The floor just needed a hug.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
People say you can't live without love... I think oxygen is more important.
If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.
The voices and I took a vote, and you're insane.
(On a T-Shirt) Who are you, and why are you reading my shirt?
When in doubt, push random buttons!
It's okay to talk to inanimate objects, it's when they talk back that you should be worried.
Rest in peace, to that girl you called a slut today in class. She committed suicide, and she was a virgin. The pregnant girl walking down the hall, she was raped. The boy you called lame, he has to work hard every night to support his family. That person you pushed down the other day, is already being abused at home. The one you called fat, she’s starving herself. The old man you made fun of because of his ugly scars, he fought for our country. The boy you made fun of for crying, his mother is dying.
You think you know them, guess what? You don’t. Repost this if you are against bullying.
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalising gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behaviour. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8.) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
Re-post this if you believe in legalising gay marriage.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year, I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realised I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I'm the girl who’s scared of talking to my parents and have them find out I'm bisexual for then to hate me.
Re-post this if you believe discrimination is wrong. Please do your part to end it.
Wanted: Sue, Mary.
I do solemnly swear to withstand, discourage, and even in some cases, destroy all influences, characteristics, or embodiments of the wanted felon, one Mary Sue, for the charges of being unbearably shallow; attracting characters already engaged in deep, meaningful, canon relationships; inserting Author's Notes into the middle of a story; chronically using terrible grammar; focusing only on clothing apparel and superficial attractiveness; always abusing dialogue tags and evocative adverbs; never having a real plot; and for being "effortlessly perfect" without ever showing a single scrap of original initiative, creativity, curiosity, cleverness, determination, athletic ability, humor, compassion, or deep character.
Mary Sue was last seen ruining a perfectly good fandom as she featured in yet ANOTHER fanfic, though she has been known to crop up even in professional pieces such as the Twilight Saga and Fifty Shades of Grey. She has impersonated and framed the brilliant young women: Annabeth Chase, Hermione Granger, Katniss Everdeen, and Lily Potter (among many others) for being slutty, ditzy, ill-humored, and shallow. Mary Sue goes by many aliases, do not be fooled if she is not listed as Sue, Mary (typical giveaway names are Arianna (no idea why this is so popular,) double to triple-names, anything with an apostrophe in the middle (e.g Ebony Dementia Dark'ness Raven Way, Merlin forbid).) If should you come across a Mary Sue; instantly and mercilessly flame the author for their legitimate and grievous insult to literature; PM all the positive reviewers of the Mary Sue story to experience the fandom again because perhaps they missed everything; and don't read another word of the Sue!fic. Smite the Sues!
--by FredNeverDied. Add your name to the banner if you agree. MultiHistoryNerd
FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it! If you realise this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!:
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones that apply to you.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to Hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenience store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be a prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self-control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a fly, so I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE, so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear skirts.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet, past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore, I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore, I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm AUSTRALIAN so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
I'm HOMESCHOOLED so I MUST be a SOCIAL REJECT with no friends or a SPELLING BEE winner.
I love FIRE so I must be a pyromaniac.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELLED!!!
39 Things to Do When You Are Feeling A Bit Angry With Your Novel
1. Check clock. It seems to be a time of day you usually spend working on your novel. You had a bad feeling that might be the case.
2. Slowly walk over to your computer, saying gentle, encouraging words to yourself inside your head, as you would to a small frightened animal you’re trying to lure out from under the couch.
3. Switch on the computer.
4. Open Pinterest.
5. Pinterest is full of the same sweater over and over again. Curse Pinterest. Open facebook. Facebook is full of pictures of some amazing party that you weren’t invited to.
6. Wait, wasn’t there something you were meant to be doing right now?
7. Open your To Do list. It is very long and very, very vague. ‘Make second half less disjointed’. How exactly were you planning on doing that? ‘Make chapter two work better’? What does that even mean?
8. Make more detailed To Do List to replace vague To Do List.
9. Make To Do List of further To Do Lists that need to be written.
10. Realise that you haven’t actually done any editing yet.
11. Open one of your favourite scenes and reread it lovingly for the fifty-seventh time, tweaking small things here and there.
12. You have a strange, sinking feeling that something is not right. In fact, you’re starting to suspect that your beloved scene might be kind of unnecessary and its existence is actually contributing to all that disjointedness that you’re meant to be fixing.
13. Consult notes from one of your most trusted beta readers. Funnily enough, they seem to have said the same thing.
14. Make growling noises. They’re wrong. They’re obviously wrong. That scene contains some of the best sentences you’ve ever written and without it, there is no chance that you will ever win the Printz.
15. Open a different scene.
16. Stare at a single sentence for a long, long time. Contemplate deleting it.
17. Read sentence out loud. It sounds okay. No, actually it sounds wrong. Notice that an owl ornament on your shelf is staring at you. It clearly thinks you are a bad writer.
18. Put ornament in the drawer.
19. Hear strange noise. Check under the couch for small frightened animals.
20. Remove ornament from the drawer.
21. Go back and stare at the sentence again.
22. Maybe you should just delete the word ‘quixotic’. Who actually uses the word quixotic anyway?
23. Actually, maybe you should leave it. If you delete quixotic it will detract from the vividness of the language and your high school English teacher will read it one day and be unimpressed.
24. The phone is ringing. It is probably someone who already knows that you are working right now, but they felt important and pretentious enough to interrupt because obviously they don’t care whether you use the word quixotic or not. They probably don’t even care whether you ever get published or not. Stupid arrogant phone ringing person. Decide not to answer the phone.
25. What if it’s your agent? Maybe they just happened to be talking with an editor and then –
26. Rush to answer the phone. Knock over a cup of coffee you can’t even remember making. Get to the phone just in time.
27. It is a telemarketer.
28. Ask telemarketer what they think of the word quixotic.
29. Marvel at how quickly they hung up. Quixotic is obviously a terrible word choice.
30. Remove coffee stain from the carpet.
31. Decide to keep quixotic.
32. Go back to favourite scene.
33. Yeah. It actually is kind of unnecessary, and if you removed it, the two scenes on either side of it would flow seamlessly into each other as if it was never there in the first place. This is interesting.
34. Reread your most favourite of all your favourite sentences in your favourite scene. Wipe a tear from your eye.
35. Delete scene.
36. Take a deep breath. You feel giddy and strangely liberated.
37. Go back and delete quixotic, and a whole pile of other words as well. Replace them with a few carefully chosen new words which work much, much better.
38. What if the reason Chapter Two needed fixing was because it was not actually meant to be chapter two? What if it happened somewhere else? What if it was Chapter One?
39. Look up at that owl with its ever-staring eyes and smile. It doesn’t smile back; it thinks your novel is a mess. You don’t care. You are making the mess beautiful, one tiny step at a time.