BohemianMoose
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Joined 11-23-12, id: 4378214, Profile Updated: 01-28-17
Author has written 2 stories for Ella Enchanted, and Harry Potter.

UPDATE (01/02/14): I HAVE NOT ABANDONED THE COUNCIL. I WILL NEVER ABANDON THE COUNCIL. I LOVE THE STORY TOO MUCH. FOR THOSE OF YOU ASKING, I'M WORKING ON AN UPDATE AS I WRITE THIS. THANK YOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME, LOVELIES. THAT IS ALL.


Of course, I could be doing homework or bringing change upon the world right now, but I'm writing fanfiction instead.

Hello. The name's Moose. Nice to meet you. I have an obsession with fanfiction that surpassed healthy about four years ago, and my naturally lazy personality causes me to read it more than I write. (That's okay though, there are people who write fanfiction better than authors who write actual books do, and I'm just an amateur).

As those of you who read my stories (currently one story) have probably noticed, I'm absolutely fantastic when it comes to timely updates (please note the sarcasm). It's not that I can't find any inspiration, in fact, I usually have plot notes for at least a couple of chapters in advance, if not for the entire story. It's actually a split between two things. One: like any other person with the unfortunate case of being relatively young, I am still in school, which means that I have a bunch of teachers who all think that I am only taking one class and that I'm a superhuman that doesn't require sleep, food, or interaction with other humans to survive. Two: like I said before, I'm ridiculously lazy (no sarcasm here). That may be partly because of the fact that I am so overworked all the time that I find it amusing to stare at my bedroom wall and do nothing all day, just to have a mental break.

However, that doesn't mean that I don't want to update. I love to update. So, I've devised what I think is a brilliant way for you to get me to write more often and update quicker. It works, trust me. So here it is below:


"The Brilliant, Fantastical, Unicorn-Magic-Worthy Five-Step Plan to Get Moose to Update Fanfiction"

Step 1: Actually read my stories. If you find that you like them and you think that my writing isn't total crap, you might want me to update them. As the famous psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud once said, "You first have to want Moose to want to update."

Step 2: If you're an awesome human being and are going to take the time to write a wonderful review, (I love reviews, they make me giddy) please try to give me some constructive criticism. I'm not perfect, I make mistakes. If you tell me that there's a bunch of typos and grammatical errors, I will probably go back and read the chapter and fix everything. If you point out that there's some parts that you don't understand, I will gladly go back and make it clear. If you happen to have suggestions for what should happen next and I like them better than my original ideas, unlike some people, I will actually use them and dedicate the chapter to you. I thrive on suggestions for improvement almost as much as I thrive on being told that people like my stories. They encourage me, and believe it or not, get me to write.

Step 3: Send me threats with deadlines attached. I don't care if its illegal; I personally believe in threats that are beneficial to both parties. Think of yourself as a symbiotic parasite. Example threat: "if you don't update this by insert date here, I will find out where you live and murder everyone you love." There are a couple of reasons why this works. One: it probably won't scare me, but the fact that you're basically telling me that you care will also encourage me. Two: giving me a deadline is super effective because the way that the modern schooling system works is that nobody does anything until they are given a deadline, and I've been subconsciously trained to think that if I don't meet a date, there will be an apocalypse. That being said, please don't give me one day deadlines. Five to seven days would be nice. Note: there will be some cases where I might miss a deadline by a couple of days, because I might be on another deadline given to me by people who actually do know where I live and will whip me.

Step 4: I know that a lot of people say this just to get more reviews etc., but spam me. Spam me in any way that you like. Spam me so much that you piss me off. If you manage to annoy me, (I like to think of myself as a person with a relatively cool temperament) have no fear, because I will not call you out on it, nor will I send you hate. Although I like to pretend to be stubborn, I'm one part shy and two parts a total pushover, and I will update just to make you happy, but mainly to get you off my back.

Step 5: Be patient. I don't give up on stories and leave them hanging. The other day I got a review that said (and I'm paraphrasing here) "I'm calling it. You've abandoned us." It just broke my heart. I haven't abandoned anybody. I think that FnFn.net is a community where members of the same fandom get together to share their obsessive love, and to be there for each other when the rest of the world isn't, not a place where people write stories for their own personal gain. So please, don't ever think I've given up or abandoned a story. If it's been a while since I've updates, believe me when I say that life just got hectic. I also believe in quality work that I've put my heart and soul into, so I will never have a rushed, crappy update, even if I have to delay you by a day or two. (Sorry).


Completed Stories:

The Council: a continuation of the ending of Ella Enchanted. Basically, my own little twist to Char and Ella's happily ever after.


My absolute favourite ships:

Are they really ships if they're cannon?

Char/Ella: I absolutely love Char. I'm madly in love with him. I wish he was real. I also love Ella. I wish I could be Ella. I wish she was real.I love them both together. They're perfect. Ah. So much love.

Lily/James: Rugged marauder prankster plus feisty over-achieving red-head who clash and end up producing The Boy Who Lived? Oh, hell yes.


I also Beta, if anyone's interested.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Beginning of Forever by ashesandhoney reviews
Will and Tessa's wedding night and the early days of their marriage. This earns its rating. It isn't quite PWP but there isn't a lot of plot.
Infernal Devices, Cassandra Clare - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 34,385 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 11/12/2016 - Published: 10/25/2014 - [Will H., Tessa G.]
Jem and Tessa in the New Millennium by ashesandhoney reviews
A collection of my fluffy little shorts featuring Jem and Tessa after the epilogue. This update (Ch.9) features... well... smut. It's smut.
Infernal Devices, Cassandra Clare - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 18,402 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 4/6/2015 - Published: 9/22/2014 - [Jem C., Tessa G.]
An Argument by Grace3 reviews
Ella is having trouble adjusting after the curse is broken; Char makes a mistake. Oneshot.
Ella Enchanted - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,720 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 14 - Published: 8/8/2014 - Charmont, Ella F. - Complete
Turning Tables by scared of clouds reviews
Lily Evans' and James Potter's relationship has always been a complicated story; it's just about to get a lot more complicated. And so is everything else. They might not know each other well, but they're about to know each other a lot better. Cover art by anxiouspineapples.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 37 - Words: 205,589 - Reviews: 931 - Favs: 1,184 - Follows: 524 - Updated: 7/24/2013 - Published: 10/6/2012 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Fait Accompli by SarRansom reviews
Their final year, their final chance at finding each other, his final plan to call Lily Evans his. To grow up. Full detailed summary inside. Canon pairings/characters. JP/LE alongside the ever wonderful Marauders.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 82,723 - Reviews: 518 - Favs: 937 - Follows: 350 - Updated: 3/31/2013 - Published: 7/30/2010 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Call me Char by bookworm1137 reviews
The full story of Ella Enchanted from Char's perspective.
Ella Enchanted - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 69,385 - Reviews: 908 - Favs: 439 - Follows: 492 - Updated: 3/28/2013 - Published: 3/19/2010
Boyfriend by Molly Raesly reviews
Potter was going to say that he wasn't my boyfriend. I couldn't let him do that. For the love of Merlin, I could not let him do that. I had to stop him. He couldn't tell her the truth. So I did the only conceivable thing I could think of. I kissed him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 136,472 - Reviews: 2648 - Favs: 5,951 - Follows: 1,451 - Updated: 12/29/2010 - Published: 11/30/2009 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Kissing the Enemy by czarina-kathryn reviews
Ever get the feeling the world is conspiring against you? That all of your worst nightmares are coming true? Welcome to my life or week anyway. Someone save me! And while you’re at it, get James Potter’s lips off of mine!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,386 - Reviews: 1530 - Favs: 1,059 - Follows: 280 - Updated: 2/22/2006 - Published: 6/10/2005 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Obsessive Lily Disorder by Procrastinator-starting2moro reviews
James worships the ground Lily, er, throws him on? Includes stalking, Polyjuice potion and James attempting many acts of suicide such as drowning his head in toilet bowls because Apple Of His Eye Evans hates his guts. Or does she? Complete .
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 144,021 - Reviews: 2115 - Favs: 2,187 - Follows: 537 - Updated: 10/29/2005 - Published: 6/7/2005 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Crossroads by Emmyjean reviews
In her seventh and final year at Hogwarts, Lily Evans finds herself facing a tragedy that leaves her life in pieces. She ultimately finds great strength both within herself and those she never would have expected. FINAL CHAPTER UP July 8 05!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 138,872 - Reviews: 1327 - Favs: 1,997 - Follows: 337 - Updated: 7/13/2005 - Published: 8/7/2002 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Sorry to Interrupt, but I'm Madly in Love With You reviews
Thrice James Potter claimed he was cursed, and once Lily Evans proved him wrong.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,509 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/3/2017 - [James P., Lily Evans P.] Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
The Council reviews
"What exactly do you think the knights told them?" "That the reason behind your hasty exit from the ball was not in fact as a result of a psychotic episode, but that of a young man merely in love?" I joked. "It had to be something that they would deem believable, Ella," he said chuckling. A continuation of the beloved tale, starting immediately where the book left off.
Ella Enchanted - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 132,944 - Reviews: 265 - Favs: 241 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 8/26/2016 - Published: 2/10/2013 - Complete