Poll: What should my next story be? Vote Now!
Hey, this is I am Emz.
I have like 10 ideas for stories, but only have 3 happening right now.
Anyways, here are some cool copy and paste things.
The Percy Jackson pleadge:
How to Tell if You're a Writer
Reasons why girls are the best
1.We got off the Titanic first
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
16. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
17. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
18. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
19. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
20. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
21. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
22. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
23. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
24. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
25. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
26. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark
If you rearrange the following words, you'll find that the same letters spell the given definition. Someone out there either has too much
Dormitory: Dirty room
Astronomer: Moon starer
George Bush: He bugs Gore
The eyes: They see
Slot machine: Cash lost in me
Desperation: A rope ends it
Presbyterian: Best in prayer
Election results: Lies! Let's recount
Snooze alarm: Alas! no more z's
Eleven plus two: Twelve plus one
Mother in law: Woman Hitler
The Morse code: Here come dots
A decimal point: I'm a dot in place
One of my best friends died recently; I'm really upset. He was such a great guy and I miss him. Maybe you knew of him. Most people did. I hope it wasn't you who contributed to his death, otherwise I shall dispatch a vicious band of lions to disembowel you. Okay, I don't have a troupe of lions at my disposal, but I can find one, trust me. My friend was a paragon of amazing. His name was Common Sense. I am sorry to inform you of his demise. Mourn with me.
Dearly beloved…we gather here to say our goodbyes. Here he lies…
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate and teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
Rest In Peace, my old friend.
Friend: Will bail me out of jail
Friend: Will comfort me when he breaks up with me
Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Friend: Will help me up when I fall down
Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Friend: Will comfort me when he breaks my heart
Friend: Calls your parents by Mr. and Mrs.
Friend: Has never seen you cry
Friend: Asks why your fridge is empty
Friend: Asks you to write down your number.
Friend: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back
Friend: Only knows a few things about you
Friend: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
Friend: Will help you find your prince.
Friend: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
Friend: Will offer you a soda.
Friend: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
Friend: Will give you their umbrella in the rain.
Friend: Will help you move.
Friend: Will console you when you house catches on fire.
Friend: Will ask why you're crying.
Friend: Will tell you she knows how you feel.
Friend: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
Friend: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
Friend: Will never ask for food.
Friend: Will knock on your front door.
Friend: Will say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
Friend: Will say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
Friend: Helps you hide me from the cops
Friend: Lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Friend: Will say you look nice in your clothes today
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