The morrigan three
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Joined 08-14-03, id: 438452
Author has written 13 stories for Harry Potter, and Lord of the Rings.

Yo, here's a quick summary of things:

Music: Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Bon Jovi, Alice Cooper, Velvet Revolver, ZZ Top, Guns N' Roses. Basically , if it's classic rock or has Slash in it, I'm probably listening to it.

My sister's pen name is mystic_catface so check it out.

These are just some favourites quotes of mine:

'Eagles may soar high, but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines'

'Don't look before you jump, close your eyes and scream!'

'The darkest hour is just before dawn, so if you're going to nick your neighbours milk, that's the time to do it'

'Even on the most exalted throne in the world,you are still only sitting onyour arse.'

'I take a simple view of living, it is keep your eyes open and get on with it.'

'Hardwork spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses and some don't turn up at all.'

'Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.'

'There is so much pleasure to be gained from uselss knowledge.'

'A person who likes biology is a bloke with a beard who ferrets around in swamps.'

'What is the difference between cats and dogs? Dogs come when called, cats take a message and get back to you.'

'A word to the wise ain't necessary, its the stupid ones that need the help.'

'Sir Issac Newton strived his whole life to find the answer to gravity. And when did he find it? When he was sat on his arse under a tree. Remember, never strive.'

'Man is a noble animal, splendid in ashes, and pompous in the grave.' ~ Sir Thomas Browne

'I have the body of an eighteen year-old. I keep it in the fridge.'- Spike Milligan

'If it is not nailed to the floor, it's mine. If I can pry it loose, it's not nailed down.'- Oscar Wilde

'Only two things are infinate, the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the former"- Albert Einstein

'By the end of the evening all but one of them will be dead. Only kidding. I give them a week.' - Derren Brown, The Seance

And here are some book quotes:

'"Did you see that fence?" "Yeh,I saw it." Spike answered. "We're in a cage. Others- not vampires- come to observe our behaviour." Realisation dawned on Spike, and the idea turned his stomach. "I'm in a sodding zoo?"' -Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Long way from home

'"Couple of us tried going over it once. We got fried." "What about under it? Take a running jump or something? Haven't any of you seen The Great Escape? Or bloody Chicken Run?" Spike asked' -Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Long way from home

'I've never really seen Jas' dad. He is usually upstairs on in his shed doing some DIY. he just appears now and again to give Jas her pocket money. Now that's a proper dad.' -Knocked out by my Nunga Nunga's

'"Death- just before you die, does your life pass before your eyes?" "Yes, it's called living." -The Last Continent, Terry Pratchet

'"Still, that's better than losing all the money, d'you no reckon?" Jimmy Mack said cheerily, with a crooked come-on-it-can't-be-that-bad-smile that made me feel like gouging his eyes out with the stained teaspoon that lay buried in the sugar bowl.' -Stupid Cupid, Arabella Weir

'"I couldn't believe he'd just sprung this on her out of the blue and they were arguing the toss about deposits losses versus full refunds. Talk about rearranging deckchairs on the Titanic.' -Stupid Cupid, Arabella Weir

"They do say, Mrs M, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are, of course, wrong, as you will soon discover whenI stick this toasting fork into your head."- Blackadder

'Shut your noise you. And no singing!"- Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Swamp Castle.

'Well, but you can't expect to weild supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!' - Monty Python and the Holy Grail

'I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!' - Monty Python and the Holy Grail

...And I am appalled that my first series of A Moanings of An Overgrown Dungeon Dweller was deleted off Fan fiction and I lost it off my computer as well. So, here's a shout to Blythe Fritzenwalden for saving it onto her computer and sending it to me.

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Joanne's Unexpected Adventure by Mystic Catface reviews
Follow Joanne as she goes on the adventure of a lifetime, clinging onto broomsticks for dear life, giving Draco something to think about and generally causing as much havoc as is humanly possible. Spoof of sorts but nobody knows where it's going to end up
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 15,015 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/22/2008 - Published: 1/5/2005
Lamentations of a Starry Eyed Twit by She's a Star reviews
Auriga Sinistra's not so eventful diary filled with sarcasm, self pity, and assorted proclamations of loathing for a certain Potions professor . . .
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 106,501 - Reviews: 2307 - Favs: 1,352 - Follows: 625 - Updated: 8/4/2007 - Published: 2/2/2003 - A. Sinistra, Severus S.
Draco and the Dog by pheonixlover13 reviews
Draco and Sirius have something in common, more than either is willing to admit... DS slash
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 18,728 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 7/30/2007 - Published: 10/15/2003 - Sirius B., Draco M.
Should've Thought of That One, Bori by Eggo Waffles reviews
We all wish that Boromir had survived Amon Hen, but have we ever considered the implications? Parody AU
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 14 - Words: 41,546 - Reviews: 444 - Favs: 215 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 1/26/2007 - Published: 5/3/2005 - Boromir
Where the Dead Walk by Mystic Catface reviews
Sirius has gone through the veil, but everything is not what it seems. In the living world, Harry's been kidnapped and what are the consequences of Voldemort's return to power? Now complete!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 34,686 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 8/18/2006 - Published: 8/19/2003 - Complete
Their Crazy Love by Cashelle-gone-Crazy reviews
(Warning: Slash) Contains minor OotP spoilers. Harry is having dreams about Dumbledore and doesn't know what they mean until the one person they're about confesses something to him and he realizes he feels the same way. Rated PG-13 for slash references.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 24,481 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 7/14/2005 - Published: 8/14/2003 - Albus D., Harry P.
Devil's Stare by Lilacskissgoodbye reviews
DA. You will have to read to find out -- Rated R for later chapters.
Van Helsing - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,418 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 5/24/2005 - Published: 5/16/2004
A Stolen Moment by Shinigami8419 reviews
Paris is desperate to set things right. He can't bear the thought of his people dying over him. He intends to confront Menelaus but it takes an enemy soldier to show him the folly of his naive expectations. PWP. !SLASH! AchilliesParis FINALLY FINISHED!
Troy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,245 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 5/5/2005 - Published: 5/22/2004
Whats gone wrong with the half blood prince ? by Ed the giant Racoon reviews
Basically, what would happen if the cliches you find in fanfics somehow ended up in the sixth book. Not a good summary, but there you go.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,061 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/5/2005 - Published: 7/26/2004 - Harry P.
Moldy Voldy by Black XIII reviews
A summary? We have no idea. But when Voldemort is reincarnated into a moldy loaf of bread... I'd say that's pretty disturbing.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 545 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/27/2004
The Phoenix in the Order by Mornel reviews
Part 1 finished Sirius finds love at Hogwarts during his 6th year...a girl who may one day save his life! Please R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 62 - Words: 89,256 - Reviews: 310 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/10/2004 - Published: 6/23/2003 - Sirius B., James P. - Complete
Dungeons and Distractions by Mizzy reviews
“Grab my wrist!” Midnight martial arts, invisible kissing at midnight, and Professor Dumbledore trying to smuggle in illegal immigrants? What’s a boy to do in a mixed-up muddle of a mixed-up world? Harry/Draco Slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 33,288 - Reviews: 199 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 4/4/2004 - Published: 12/12/2001 - Draco M., Harry P.
Aragorn's Average Adventure by Erestor reviews
A parody of Aragorn and Legolas friendship fics. Perhaps you have noticed a few recurring themes: the pain, the suffering, the angst? Here they all are, neatly condensed for your enjoyment. REVISED May '06.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,355 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 10 - Published: 3/26/2004 - Aragorn, Legolas - Complete
Confidence by ForeverLaDonna reviews
(COMPLETE) Everyone tells Neville all he needs is some confidence. When Hermione gives him a
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 18,546 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/26/2004 - Published: 3/9/2004 - Neville L., Ginny W. - Complete
To Torment An Elf by Mercuria reviews
A parody of Legolas torture fics. PG-13 for slight swearing and major sexual innuendo. *Third chapter up!*
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,804 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 3/19/2004 - Published: 1/6/2003 - Legolas, Saruman
The Hogwart's Sorting Hat by Mystic Catface reviews
This is a song I made up for the Sorting Hat. Maybe this is what it really thinks?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 538 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 8 - Published: 2/25/2004
And What Happens At The New Moon? by Vialana reviews
Sirius/Remus :: It's close to final exam times and the stress is starting to affect everyone, even the Marauders. So just what are two restless pranksters to do on the night of the new moon?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,975 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 18 - Published: 2/16/2004 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
Have Yourself A Merry Little Fellowship by Enelya reviews
A weird and wacky Christmas with our favourite weird and wacky Fellowship. Highly unorthodox. You'll never think about Christmas in the same way again... CHAPTER 2 IS UP!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,132 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 12/24/2003 - Published: 12/22/2003
Six Months by altiversewatcher reviews
Dumbledore tells Severus Snape to take a six month haitus after Voldemort is defeated. In that six months a lot of things happen and they just keep getting worse.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,865 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 11/6/2003 - Published: 9/1/2003 - Severus S.
To Hesitate by gelfling reviews
Aragorn Legolas slash with severe sexual tension, begining from the end of FotR and into Gondor in Return of the King. Some spoilers, lime added. Realistic, non-fluff, introspective. COMPLETE!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 37,018 - Reviews: 277 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 7/16/2003 - Published: 1/4/2002 - Aragorn, Legolas - Complete
The Diary of Aragorn Aged 42 and Three Quarters by Winston the Bulldog reviews
The title is self explanatory I should hope....
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,300 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 6 - Updated: 5/23/2002 - Published: 5/8/2002 - Aragorn, Aragorn
Return To Bree by Blanton Cirith reviews
--Slash-- Terror and murder strikes Bree, and Legolas and Aragorn are caught in the middle. (Chapter 5, a thousand apologies for the long delay)
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,344 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/16/2002 - Published: 6/8/2001
Love in the Ruins by GrimSlasher reviews
This is a repost - the original fic seemed to disappear when I tried to combine the chapters. At any rate, it's a slash fic: Remus and Sirius spend time together during the summer after the Return of Lord Voldemort. Features an evil Malfoy plot and quite
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 16,877 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/23/2001
Harry Potter and the Rodent of Doom by Pigwidegon reviews
This is a contest, and Harry Potter and the Hamster of Death is it's counterpart, and we are competing. Please R/R both stories with your vote. Happy reading!!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 549 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/13/2000
Harry Potter and the Hamster of Death by Little Miss Muffet reviews
This is a contest, and Harry Potter and the Rodent of Doom is it's counterpart, and we are competing. Please R/R both stories with your vote. Happy reading!!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,597 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/13/2000
A Few Harry Potter Nursery Rhymes by Elinar Llewellyn reviews
It's exactly what the titles says.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 101 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/10/2000
Slytherins Are Sexier by morrigan reviews
Sorting Hat song spoof. Utterly unworthy of me. Pushing back the boundaries of stupidity in fanfiction.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 338 - Favs: 251 - Follows: 31 - Published: 4/16/2000
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The Moanings of an Overgrown Dungeon Dweller Four reviews
Back to Hogwarts for another year, Dumbledore is as batty as ever and I still have to teach snot-nosed students potions. The fourth diary instalment from your favourite teacher, Severus Snape.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,863 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 5/9/2010 - Published: 5/24/2008 - Severus S.
An Unexpected Romance reviews
Why would two people who hate each other, and have done since the minute they met, suddenly fall in love? What happened? This is a parody of all those slash stories out there. HP/SS.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 900 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/15/2008 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
The Moanings of an Overgrown Dungeon Dweller Three reviews
Back to Hogwarts for another tedious year. Black has escaped,Lupin is teaching and I, as always, am the last to know. Then to top it all Potter didn't get killed or seriously injured during the holidays.' A diary from your favourite teacher, Severus Snape
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 15,169 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 1/8/2008 - Published: 9/26/2006 - Severus S. - Complete
A Different Perspective reviews
Alternative ending to Harry Potter, focusing on what Severus Snape has to go through mentally and emotionally. The lying, the cheating and the doublecrossing. Alternates between being told from Severus' POV to Harry's POV, note the multipule warnings.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 26,175 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/24/2007 - Published: 4/24/2007 - Severus S. - Complete
An Alternative Ending to Harry Potter reviews
How I think the seventh book SHOULD end. This isn't meant to be serious, just my thoughts and opinions on JK Rowling's decidedly dodgy writing.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 598 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/7/2007 - Complete
The Alternative Version of LOTR reviews
A not so serious poem detailing the events from the Fellowship of the Ring
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,229 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 6/6/2007 - Complete
The Ramblings of a Ranger of the North reviews
Why do elves always think they know best? Men from Gondor think they're god's gift and hobbits are just useless. How am I supposed to rule over them as King when they just keep ignoring me? And don't even get me started on Theoden... A Diary of a King
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 17,225 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 4/3/2007 - Published: 10/29/2004 - Aragorn - Complete
The Hogwarts Sorting Hat History Lesson Song reviews
This is an version of the Hogwarts Sorting Hat song. The hat, sick of being treated poorly by Dumbledore, has decided to reveal to the school the real history of the four founders of the school.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 360 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/22/2006 - Complete
A poem about Potter By Severus Snape reviews
Severus Snape decides to write a poem about his hate of Potter and everything to do with him. Contains voilence directed towards Potter, obviously.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 393 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/30/2006 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
Harry's unexpected adventure reviews
Harry follows Cho up to the Owlrey, and gets more than he bargined for with owls turning against him and the appearance of Voldemort. Humour. Not to be taken seriously.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 599 - Reviews: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/16/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
The Moanings of An Overgrown Dungeon Dweller reviews
A diary by your favourite teacher, Severus Snape. Potter is coming to Hogwarts, I hope he's ready. As long as I have coffee to drink and McGonagall to bully, I'll survive. Repost. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 24,366 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/2/2006 - Severus S. - Complete
The Moanings Of An Overgrown Dungeon Dweller Two reviews
I'm back for another year. Hopefully Potter may have got run over by a bus during the summer. A diary full of complaints from your favourite teacher. Severus Snape. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,659 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/1/2005 - Published: 12/10/2004 - Severus S. - Complete
The Hogwarts sorting hat Song reviews
This is a 'different' version of the Hogwarts Sorting Hat Song, maybe this is what it REALLY feels like saying to everyone?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 489 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/5/2004 - Complete
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