annafan
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Joined 11-27-12, id: 4387235, Profile Updated: 02-14-15
Author has written 22 stories for Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Sleepy Hollow.

About me!

Hi, I was 11 back when the first of the original Star Wars trilogy came out (please don't do the maths!), and loved it. By the time the second came out, I was into adolescence, and Han and Leia's kiss was the subject of many teenage daydreams. I'm new to fanfic, but having great fun with it. I'm really enjoying reading other people's stuff, and just trying to write some stuff myself (though I've promised myself I'll write when I get a good idea, not write for its own sake - and so many of the good ideas have already been done).

My love of Lord of the Rings goes even further back than Star Wars (I'd already read it several times by the time the first Star Wars film came out). I've held off reading LOTR fanfic for a long time just because the original is so brilliant. But there's actually some great stuff out there (and a lot of Mary Sue nonsense, you have to do a lot of sifting). As a young teen I fell in love with Faramir (book version: Peter Jackson, much as I think the films are for the most part a work of genius, I may never forgive you for what you did to him in the films), so there's a sense in which I never needed a Mary Sue; I could gallop around the garden with a bamboo cane pretending to chop the Witch King of Angmar's head off, knowing I'd then get to marry the most attractive bloke in the book. But I always had a bit of a crush on Legolas too, so there is a void there to be filled by fanfic.

Oh, and as you can probably tell from me writing "maths" rather than "math", and my spelling (hope it doesn't put you off too much), I'm based in the UK.

On my eclectic tastes in fanfic

I've long had a theory that there is no such thing as originality in fanfic - with tens of thousands of us writing LoTR fanfic, every possible idea has been done. So as far as I'm concerned the issue is not "is it original?" but rather, "is it done well?" However, I have just had this theory confirmed in the weirdest way possible. Back at Christmas, I made a joke about Al Gore and climate change in a Legomance. I have found another crack fic which has a joke about... Al Gore and climate change - in a Lord of the Rings Legomance. What are the odds on that? (If you are interested, it is on AO3 and is called the Ottyssey - girl falls into ME, changing into an otter in the process).

My Stories

I'm naturally drawn towards trying to write humour and parody, but at the same time I love the characters so much I want them to have realistic emotions, so in my comic writing, I usually end up walking a tight rope between spoof and realism, and I'm not sure I always get it to work. End then there's the whole issue of avoiding things going too Mary Sue (actually, as anyone who's read my will know, at one point I actually ended up with a character called Mary Sue... in my defence, she wasn't mine, she was Galadriel's...). However, I do sometimes write serious stuff too, though usually with happy endings (don't really do sad endings). My multi-chapter stuff tends to be for Lord of the Ring - for some reason, my Star Wars stuff always comes out as one-shots.

My small son has come up with the most terrifying idea for a tenth walker/ crossover fic ever. He wants Scooby Doo to join the fellowship. You will be relieved to know I do not intend to write that one.

And finally - I've now created a live journal page for some drawings to illustrate some of my stories.

My livejournal account

Links

If you're writing LoTR, or Star Wars fics, a large part of that has to be round war, battle and the emotional cost of fighting. This piece by the BBC's war correspondent is a very thoughtful piece on war art, war poetry, and the relationship between the initial excitement and adrenaline rush of conflict and the more mature feelings of horror and fatigue. Definitely worth a read if you want to step beyond simply writing Mary-Sue falls in love.

Great article on movie vs. book Eowyn here: I am no man.

Have you ever wondered what the climate of Middle Earth was like? Wonder no longer! Radagast the Brown (temporarily on sabbatical at the University of Bristol) answers your questions here:
Climate of Middle Earth
(Text also available in Elvish and Dwarvish).

The ultimate romantic song: Victoria Wood's work of comic genius, The Ballad of Barry and Freda (aka "Let's do it tonight.") NB, somewhere on this site I have a work-in-progress under a different name, the aim of which is deliberately to tick every single Mary Sue box I can think of while still making the story readable! It uses as prompts for the love scenes each one of Freda's verses, in order. Oh, and I've also tried to work in every single mistake in writing battle scenes that I can think of (see link below on pulling swords out of scabbards). PM me if you find it and work out it's me.

Life imitating art: Tommy Ginger reckons that fanfic would be a great place for terrorist cells to hide messages, and that some poor so and so at GCHQ/NSA has the job of trawling through the worst excesses of fanfic looking for these messages. Then this week I came across this:
BBC news article: Angry Birds hacked after NSA-GCHQ Leaks
I would say "you couldn't make it up", but Tommy Ginger pretty much did!

The right (and wrong) way to die when you fall into lava Was Gollum's death scene convincing? Here's how to try it out for yourself with the aid of a bucket of motor oil and a polystyrene Gollum (honestly, all that money on WETA, and they could have just done it in the back yard...) Link courtesy of Sian22.

Wondering what sort of noise a sword really makes when you pull it out of its scabbard? Wonder no more. (And I really, really want to see someone use that last sound effect in a Hollywood epic).

Still on the subject of weapons, weaponry and techniques, Danish archer Lars Anderson has tried to recreate archery techniques actually used on the battle field (rather than modern static target shooting) and it's incredible - Legolas eat your heart out!

My favourite Kiss on the Walls drawing by Catherine Chmiel. This is perfect for my mental image of "Book Faramir".

Ever wondered what actors in films make of fan fics? Orlando Jones (Sleepy Hollow) loves it, and jokes that he ships his character and the Headless horseman (and he has in fact been responsible for the HH's 3 MPregs - or at least, the headless road sign's MPregs!) I came across this random fact via a fantastic piece on AO3, "Blue Jeans and Thai Food" (not linking because probably a bit on the risque side for ff), which he linked to in one of his tweets. It solves the vexed Sleepy Hollow fandom of Ichabbie vs. Ichatrina by simply introducing a threesome which evolves into a cheerfully polyamorous relationship. (NB, nowhere near as eye-watering as CruiseDirector's polyamory on the Faramirfiction site, which always reminds me of reading about a game of twister).

My top writing tip for writing fantasy/sci fi: apply the Alan Rickman: Grabthar's Hammer test. If you can imagine Alan Rickman delivering a line of your dialogue in the tone of voice with which he delivers the immortal line "By Grabthar's Hammer, I will be avenged" in Galaxy Quest then you have gone way over the line into the realms of unintentional parody!

And (not sure whether this should come under random links or fanfic on other sites), What if Hermione Granger had been the main character in the Harry Potter novels? (aka Hermione Granger and the Goddam Patriarchy). Very funny, very sweary (warning - F word, so I suppose technically M as far as this site is concerned).

My list of favourites on external sites

Avoidance A Faramir and Eowyn movie-verse gap filler. T/PG13 rated.

The Sweet Strange Hereafter Warning - very definitely M Eomer finds a very unusual stranger on the plains of Rohan. Complete with talking Firefox. Crack slash fic!

The strangest of dances Warning - again, very definitely M rated Extremely cute Aragorn/Faramir slash.

A Lesson in Cartography by GoldleafAgain, warning, adult material, hence the link is to the author's homepage, not the work itself. Hilarious Aragorn/Faramir slash ("What's characterisation, precious?... What if someone reads this?...

A quick meditation on how to plot a love story

Okay, so love stories need some sort of plot to deliver a bit of dramatic tension to the whole thing. But that doesn't mean you have to fall back on the hackneyed loser plots - the main ones being (1) he is a shit, there's a series of misunderstandings, then at the end miraculously he realises he leurves her and changes (which I particularly hate because it's bullshit and propaganda for persuading women to get into/ stay in abusive relationships) and (2) there's a high-school style love triangle and our heroine has to see off the competition (wrong on so many levels - plays into the misogynistic "women are bi-atches" trope, makes it seem like men are there to be competed for - honey, if you have to compete, he ain't worth having...).

Which is why I personally think you go for situational hitches in the course of love running smoothly - circumstances like war sweeping star-crossed lovers apart . Or even better, just make the love story happen against the background of an engaging plot that's about something different altogether - much the way like real life works. BTW love triangles can work (or not precisely love triangles, more stories of infidelity) - Madame Bovary and Anna Karenina show us that (though that could be something to do with the literary genius of Flaubert and Tolstoy). But they don't work at the level of "I fancy the football captain and so does the top cheerleader, which of us will he choose?"

And now for a bit of a feminist aside. Remember that while you may know the ending of the stories (provided you're not going for radically AU), and your readers may know the ending of the stories, the characters don't. So, for instance, suppose the hero and heroine are still at the feisty, fighting with each other at every turn stage (bit of a cliche, but the "hate-slowly-turning-to-love" plotline is a staple of the genre). When you have the hero come upon the heroine asleep, and start to remove her clothes and grope her, that isn't erotic, romantic, or any of those things - it's actually sexual assault and attempted rape - because he doesn't know (at this point in the story) that she fancies him, and it is being done to her without her consent. The fact that she may wake up and decide she quite likes it is neither here nor there - you have established him as the sort of man who would do that sort of thing in ignorance of whether she consents - i.e. you have just turned your hero into a rapist.

And readers, try to avoid the temptation to victim blame the woman for her actions just because you fancy the hero. Here's an example. Two characters, let's call them Harry and Sally, are skirting round each other. Because the author is a good author, it's a much more interesting and believable plot than the hate-turns-to-love cliche. Instead, Sally has a past involving bereavement, sexual abuse and unrequited love which is making it (understandably) hard for her to let go emotionally. And for the most part, Harry is being understanding about this (and, not wanting to push Sally when she's vulnerable, has not actually told her in so many words that he's in love with her - and she being emotionally closed off, has not realised he is). But Harry's just done something really stupid, and left the whole court believing that they're betrothed. Now for the readers' reactions... they're mostly cross with Sally (incidentally this is not one of my stories, but is one by a writer I admire enormously).

As I quite often do, I read the other reviews after leaving mine... and I found myself baffled by some of the reactions. All these women who, because they fancy Harry (don't we all? - that is, assuming you have inserted one of the protagonists of your favourite "ship" at this point) can't make the imaginative leap to think to themselves "but what would I feel like if I were in her position, with this guy apparently riding roughshod over my wishes... he hasn't even bloody well bothered to ask me how I feel, just left me in this situation where the world and his wife now think we're betrothed... and for all I know, he's done it simply for political advantage." (And it is, interestingly, a very brave and gutsy move on the part of the author - give the hero a real, genuine character flaw, have him do something that is wrong). But because the readers know what the ending is, they, the readers, can't see that the characters, mid story, don't have the gift of prescience, and don't know how things are going to work out."

I really think there's an interesting feminist point about women policing the patriarchy going on here... Sally being variously described in the reviews as "vicious", "a drama queen", references to "her emotional mood swings", "I'd punch her in the face", "What is wrong with her? She's so emotional..." - ugh, actually compiling all of these into one list makes me even more depressed, particularly the punch-in-the-face one - yes, let's all normalise and excuse domestic violence, what a brilliant idea that is (in fact I actually feel slightly sick typing that one out... in fairness in context the reviewer was saying she would want to do that to a friend who behaved like Sally, but I think the clear implication is that Harry would also be excused for behaving like that, or that if he doesn't, it's because he's exceptionally nice, virtuous and controlled, rather than simply a normal member of the human race who treats women as also being normal members of the human race and hence worthy of respect). All that vitriol simply because a woman objects to a man having put her in a position where she's now expected to marry him without him actually having had the politeness to ask her first.

Anyway, here endeth the feminist rant for the day... but please - think about taking that imaginative leap. Don't make your heroes rapists due to a failure of imagination. Don't victim-blame your heroines due to the same failure of imagination.

Why these stories are in my favourites list...

You may also notice that among my favourite stories (list nowhere near complete yet), is one called "The Bet" - thanks to Ness for being part of the inspiration for my story. I think Ness's is funnier, though.

I have realised, though, that strictly speaking, "Just another Day on Hoth" is not my first fan-fic. Re-reading "No Whining Allowed" (see favourites, below) has reminded me that I wrote a spoof of Star Wars as a Christmas panto in my school days, with my physics teacher (a lovely lady, who happened to be very small) as R2D2, and the head of chemistry as Darth Vader. Sadly, it was never performed (possibly because, in a girls' school, we lacked any hot teenage boys to cast as Han Solo, and we certainly weren't going to cast one of the male teachers).

Other stuff I've got on my favourites list includes Sue Zahn's marvellous trip-to-Bespin fic, "Into the Fire." "A dance your worship" by Batman's Babe is just really, really sweet and fluffy. Lady Peter's “Speaking the Words” is a great piece, set early on in Han and Leia's post-ROTJ life together.

Meanwhile in Lord of the Rings fics, I have stumbled across the wonderful Eldalie (see favourite authors) who has some of the most thoughtful and intelligent stuff on the business of writing fanfic that I've yet come across.

And strangely (at least to me, because I didn't expect to like it), a few brilliant stories aside (like Eldalie's "Scattered Leaves"), I find some of the well written, emotionally driven (but not too graphic) slash more convincing (though I'm pretty sure Tolkien would have hated it). Perhaps it's the whole cameraderie of the warrior feel, or perhaps it's that I read Mary Renault's account of the early life of Alexander the Great ("Fire from Heaven") as a teenager, and the love story between Alexander and Hephaistion has always stuck in my mind. In any case, I've included Milgarion's "In fading light" in my favourites because it's one the best one of this genre I've come across. and Eora in my favourite authors - her Aragorn/Faramir slash is marvellous. “Tomorrow” by Nimsul (Elrond/Gil-Galad) is just a beautiful piece of writing and is very, very sad. The other reason for liking slash is that it's quite hard within the context of LOTR to have a het relationship which is one of equals (Faramir and Eowyn being the obvious exception) - slash allows for much more equal relationships. This issue of dealing with the power-imbalance in a patriarchal culture can be tackled in het relationships if it's done well, and this is why I love Zees Muse (also in my favourite authors); in addition to her brilliantly imagined and fully worked out cultural details for Rohan, she has wonderfully strong female character - Aefre wielding her morning star, and Lýðrest wielding her frying-pan!

Actually, Rohan and the relationship of Lothiriel and Eomer seems to provide a rich source of inspiration for some of the best fanfic I've read, not just by Zees Muse but Lady Bluejay, Lialathuveril and Thanwen. One thing they all have in common is using Rohan to provide a contrast to Gondor, and imagining it to have a culture where men and women can form more equal, balanced partnerships. In all their stories, women are not relegated to sitting with embroidery samplers, but run households, organise farm work and husbandry, do the accounts for the garrison and generally rule their world with a rod of iron (or a frying pan). Because of this, these authors write romances where the men are drawn to the women's strength of character, bravery and intelligence as much as they are to their beauty – it's the same sort of equal partnership that I so enjoy in slash. (And they are a thousand times better written than the average “Legomance”).

All of Lady Bluejay's stories are well worth a read (in fact, a re-read too), but my favourite among them is “First Time”, a very funny little tale of Elladan and Elrohir visiting Edoras. But of her Eomer and Lothiriel stories, I think my favourite is “Waterloo”. Thanwen has a marvellous gift for imagining the cultural details of Rohan – a mixture of Germanic and Norse legend and her own imagination which I think Tolkien would have approved of. She is also great on little details of agriculture (she's a farmer herself – story updates occasionally get delayed by lambing and haymaking – see her hilarious self-insert, “Visitors”). And her Lothiriel, pirate princess, is a superb creation – passionate, brave, intelligent and with a will of iron. “Choppy Waters” is a fantastic read, really exciting. This is certainly no helpless princess in a tower – the way she deals with her enemy, the dangerously attractive and amoral Mardil, is fabulous and utterly ruthless. It will also teach you the Quenya for “wanker”, surely a piece of information no aspiring Middle Earth nerd should be without! (And it's worth noting that both she and Lialathuveril are German speakers – native English speakers please note: if they can write English this well, there is no excuse whatsoever for some of the utter cack that can be found on this site written by native English speakers!)

Lialathuveril is a brilliant writer – not only is her prose beautiful, but she has a grasp on plot and pacing that some professional writers could learn from. Again, it's hard to pick one, but I think I'd have to plump for “Black Eyes” because of the really inventive underlying idea – Lothiriel fears she's going to be forced into an arranged marriage with a barbarian horselord, and decides to seek guidance in the pages of Ecthelion's (in reality, Sun Tzu's) The Art of War, attempting to apply his thoughts on military strategy to the equally vexatious question of how to deal with an unwanted suitorBut as with Lady Bluejay, all of her stories are worth a read. I also really like “Imrahil's Daughters”, which unfolds with all the mad confusion and comic misunderstandings of a Restoration Comedy. Spoiler alert – skip the rest of this paragraph if you haven't read them yet – among other things her stories bring us Lothiriel's thought processes when she and Eowyn (having sneaked off on their own for a picnic) are attacked by bandits: “She's just killed a man. That's the cheese knife.” And also a wonderful piece of dialogue between Lothiriel and a couple of her friends. In the caves at Helm's Deep, they have been helping the healers and dealing with wounded and dying men, severed limbs, puke, piss and shit for almost 24 hours. Prior to the battle, the friends had been somewhat knocked for six by Legolas's beauty, and when one of them mentions how much she'd give for a hot bath, the other replies something along the lines of “yes, with lavender oil in … and an elf.”

Oh, a couple of quick mentions: BlueNynaeve's “Rules of Negotiation” where Lothiriel's diplomatic aplomb takes a bit of a nose-dive the morning after her marriage; and Borys68's Eowyn and Faramir story – borrowing some of Zees Muse's Rohirrim customs, he writes a lovely little piece which turns the reader's expectations on their head in a way I love. And a recommendation for a really unusual but brilliant fic: Seren Lyall's “Darkness in the Forest”, a really creepy mystery/adventure story (no romance). It's wonderfully atmospheric, with a brooding Mirkwood as the background for an all-pervasive sense of menace as Legolas and Elrond find themselves pursued by... well, we still haven't found out what.

I've come across a couple of decent 10th walker efforts. “Trigger” by Lost Claudia has the believable premise that its heroine, Maggie, is an ex army medic, so she can both fight and heal wounds. And “A little R&R” by Zoop has the great premise that the heroine (another ex-forces GDIME) finds herself sickened of all the killing after the Battle of Helm's Deep and prevents the slaughter of the Uruk she's taken prisoner, eventually setting off to return him to the Misty Mountains. (Zoop and Helena Markos both explore the idea that, freed from Saruman's mind control, Uruk Hai turn out to be people just like the rest of us – it's an interesting exploration of the idea of race and the good/evil dichotomy, with no shades of grey, which are far from unproblematic for the modern reader of Tolkien). “Home with the Fairies” by I Mushi is a GDIME which is not 10th walker, and all the better for it. She takes her time building a believable story – her heroine doesn't speak Westron and has to learn the language, isn't automatically pitched into the nobility but has to earn her way as a barmaid and a serving girl. Eventually, of course, she crosses paths with all the usual suspects, but in an interesting and original way.

Of course I love parody and humour, so I've included a lot of this in my favourites. Feb Song's "Awkward Adventures" is in because it's just blooming hilarious (my favourite bit is the writer's block chapter), as is 80icrazy's "Dear writers of fanfic." I've also added Geale's "Author's Notes", which is a marvellous parody, not of fanfic, but of Tolkien himself (read the bit on Aragorn's reaction to the Argonath and what Legolas thinks of it, and weep - with laughter). And her take on Legolas is (without wanting to give the game away) interesting. Superbly out of character, but then again, I'm reading the Hobbit to my small son, and if you read Bilbo's first encounter with the Elves in Rivendell, you may change your mind about whether this particular version of Legolas is _completely_ OOC. I've also added a gloriously over the top Mary Sue spoof by CryfortheMoon - Gloria has no cellulite, no orange-peel skin, and a ton of makeup atop the talons of an eagle. And Boromir is very, very upset. And Legolas should be very, very afraid, but is too chivalrous (and dim) to realise what's happening to him.

Finally, venturing into another fandom entirely, but returning to my love of slash (actually, Thanwen has a beautiful piece of off-screen, subtle allusion to slash in her sequel to “Choppy Waters”, “A Wind from the Sea”), can I recommend Sara's Girl's fabulous, wonderful, incredible Harry/Draco slash? She is one of the best writers I've come across, and her stories are realistic, moving, emotionally deep and very sexy. And “Talk to me” is just a delight from start to finish – one of those lovely stories which will brighten even a really bad day (and, unusually for her stuff, only rated T, so pretty accessible for most readers on this site).

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A Way Things Should Be by LullabyKnell reviews
Hobbitish is a language of manners and etiquette; the dwarves don't even know that Hobbitish is a thing; and Bilbo is trying to keep a straight face while the Company unintentionally sexually propositions him and challenges him to pie-eating contests to the death. Actions speak so much louder than words.
Hobbit - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 53,180 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 150 - Follows: 147 - Updated: 3/18 - Published: 1/27 - Bilbo B. - Complete
Hotspur & Steelsheen by Medea Smyke reviews
A holiday in Lossarnach takes a turn for the worst for Prince Thengel and his companions, who must rely upon the hospitality of the young mistress of Imloth Melui. But even under the blossoming trees of that fabled valley, life takes a turn from the idyllic. Where greedy relatives fail, Morwen and Thengel discover strength in friendship and perhaps something more. Morwen/Thengel.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 49,657 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 3/17 - Published: 4/10/2014 - Morwen S., Thengel
Captains and pawns by sian22 reviews
"The board is set and the pieces are moving." So Gandalf said, but what unseen hand made them move? How far back did the game start and with what unexpected results? The Lords of Gondor and Rohan find Saruman will use them for his own end and both the Steward's sons and Rohan's Prince and Lady must find their way. A tale from Faramir's birth until the fateful kiss.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 83,974 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 3/6 - Published: 4/21/2014 - Boromir, Eowyn, Faramir, Theodred
Hot Spring by sian22 reviews
Faramir shows Eowyn a green and lovely corner of their demesne she has never seen. Along the way they discover love and desire can conquer (most) fears. What more could a woman want for her birthday than a Ranger, his Shieldmaiden, a cliff rated 5.2 and rope? Happy Birthday Annafan. Rated M for mmmmmmm
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,942 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 2/2 - Published: 11/15/2014 - Eowyn, Faramir
Tainted Love by Immael reviews
"High chiselled cheek bones, startling blue eyes, hair like spun mithril, white-gold beneath the midday sun. But the allure hid only the underlying cruelty, of this she was certain..." In the midst of battle, Legolas is saved from almost certain death by a beautiful, mysterious Elleth. But why does she seem to hate him so? And can he melt her icy heart? Rating may change.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 17,928 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 110 - Updated: 12/29/2014 - Published: 9/28/2014 - Legolas, OC, Thranduil
Justice by Dwimordene
Dwim's attempt to answer Ang's/E.W.'s challenge: is Eowyn a deserter or a heroine? Features Eomer, Eowyn, and Elfhelm. And the answer is...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,919 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/28/2014 - Eowyn, Eomer, Elfhelm - Complete
Home with the Fairies by I-Mushi reviews
We've all seen the horribly butchered and cliché girl-falls-into-Middle-Earth stories. So is it possible to make a semi-realistic one? Follow Maddie on her own adventure exploring Middle Earth as the opposite of a Tenth Walker.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 28 - Words: 242,152 - Reviews: 1073 - Favs: 1,102 - Follows: 1,213 - Updated: 12/24/2014 - Published: 6/4/2010 - Boromir, Eowyn, Faramir, Eomer
Not Alone by paperfirefly reviews
Legolas and Gimli's friendship was forged under the eaves of Lothlorien. But how did they find common ground after so many weeks of rivalry?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,918 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/6/2014 - Legolas, Gimli - Complete
An Elf, A Man, and A Dwarf by Lasgalendil reviews
Wherein the reader finds out exactly what business each has in the Riddermark. Crackfic, Oneshot. Oblivious Legomance. M for obvious reasons.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,478 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/5/2014 - Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Eowyn - Complete
A Practical Guide for the Courtship of Elves, by Beren son of Barahir by Nerdy Nell reviews
Beren finds himself volunteered to share seasoned advice on "successfully" navigating the world of elvish-mortal relationships (if he can manage not to be interrupted).
Crossover - Lord of the Rings & Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 20,224 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 10/5/2014 - Published: 4/26/2013 - Beren, Luthien T. - Complete
Drop It by Tomas the Betrayer reviews
The imprisoned Horseman is spilling secrets. But if Ichabod Crane drops one more name to remind everyone how important he is, Abbie Mills will not be responsible for what happens next.
Sleepy Hollow - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,116 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/2/2014 - Abigail M., Headless Horseman - Complete
A Confession that Contains its own Proof by JWAB reviews
D'Artagnan is desperate to win Constance back, but he can't do it alone. "After all, what is a kiss? A vow made at closer range, a confession that contains its own proof…; a secret told to the mouth rather than to the ear, a fleeting moment filled with the hush of eternity… a way of living by the beat of another heart, and tasting another soul on one's lips." -Cyrano de Bergerac
Musketeers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,643 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 9/30/2014 - Published: 9/19/2014 - Aramis, D'Artagnan, Constance Bonacieux
Grey in the Dark by Eildon Rhymer reviews
Fog has descended on the lower levels of Minas Tirith, and a killer stalks the streets. In the Citadel above the fog, Aragorn wants the killer found. Down where the fog is thickest, a young man raised on the streets is trying to find him, too. These two men, whose lives are so very different, will end up being brought together by the fog. Because in the fog, everything is changed.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,268 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 16 - Published: 9/27/2014 - Aragorn, OC, Faramir - Complete
Through Shadows by Thanwen reviews
Do you believe in love at first sight? I do not, no matter what the Professor tells us. So here comes my attempt of a plausible and hopefully entertaining story why and how Éowyn and Faramir came to love each other. Classical gap filler; strictly book-verse.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 260,277 - Reviews: 684 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 9/18/2014 - Published: 8/27/2013 - Eowyn, Faramir - Complete
Mrs Ferny by Be3 reviews
Face it, girls, there's not much you can do if you fall into Middle Earth all alone and helpless. Rated for language, themes, and a couple swearwords.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,652 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/28/2014 - Published: 6/1/2014 - OC
GDIME-So long and thanks for all the fish by sian22 reviews
In honour of the end of a brilliant parody-Annafan's favourite limerick tweaked just a little, with thanks for all the fun and effort that went into it. Rated T because 'nudge, nudge, wink, wink' it is about beards and exits. Red beards of course. 'Hacha Bain'
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 87 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/13/2014
Matchmaker, Matchmaker by PI-Valkyrie-exLorien reviews
Tauriel joins the Fellowship as a matchmaking 10th Walker, determined to ship Aragorn and Legolas to avoid the love triangle Peter Jackson has planned for her. Along the way, she falls for the most unexpected of canon characters and pits herself against an evil Mary Sue. Slash, femslash, completely AU silliness. Low T for slight language and occasional innuendo. Now complete.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 18 - Words: 36,109 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 8/12/2014 - Published: 1/17/2014 - Aragorn, Legolas - Complete
A bitter winnowing by sian22 reviews
Faramir, charged with retaking Osgiliath by his father, searches for the courage to do his duty as he walks the Great Hall of Minas Tirith. Written for the June Teitho Fanfiction Challenge on the theme "No time'.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,329 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Published: 7/18/2014 - Faramir - Complete
The Awkward Adventures of Meghan Whimblesby by FebruarySong reviews
What happens when a girl who is afraid of blood, thinks Legolas is a complete fruitcake, and knows next to nothing about LotR gets dumped into Middle earth with the Fellowship? Crazy spin on a MarySue fic. Now complete.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 46 - Words: 112,669 - Reviews: 2162 - Favs: 1,220 - Follows: 1,107 - Updated: 7/14/2014 - Published: 7/14/2007 - [Legolas, OC] - Complete
A Little R and R by Zoop reviews
10th Walker decides to ditch the Fellowship after Helm's Deep. Tired of killing orcs, she drags an Uruk survivor along for the ride. Seductions, arguments, and discussions about the best way to "serve" man ensue.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 44 - Words: 112,061 - Reviews: 248 - Favs: 180 - Follows: 232 - Updated: 7/2/2014 - Published: 10/19/2011 - Uruk-hai, Human, OC
Darkness in the Forest by SerenLyall reviews
Eryn Galen-Greenwood the Great-has begun to fall into darkness. Evil creatures stalk the shadows hunting, thirsting. When calamity befalls a group of travelers from Rivendell accompanied by an escort led by Legolas, two of the company find themselves in a situation that quickly turns from bad to worse. Now they only have each other to rely on as they battle to simply stay alive
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 28 - Words: 68,563 - Reviews: 205 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 135 - Updated: 6/26/2014 - Published: 10/28/2012 - Legolas, Elrond, Elrohir, Thranduil
Lost in Translation by sian22 reviews
And now for something completely different: fluff, happy fluff, suggestive even. Faramir returns to work after a month long honeymoon. He may never look at council meetings the same way again.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,446 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 5 - Published: 6/4/2014 - Aragorn, Eowyn, Faramir, Imrahil - Complete
I Heard It Through the Grapevine(of Delicious Mirkwood Wine…) by Lasgalendil reviews
On women, tropes, and the thrice-dreaded supernatural interspecies love triangle. Rumors of a certain movie and fanfics have reached Middle-earth and characters are not amused. Can Tauriel convince the canon that their reasons for hating her are wrong? Legolas laments, Tauriel teaches, and Gimli…Gimli is just Gimli. (Elessar's General Warning: meta fics may contain strong satire.)
Hobbit - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,061 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 4/30/2014 - Published: 12/8/2013 - Legolas G., Kili, Tauriel - Complete
Ashtuzual - the Orc and the Ranger by TMI Fairy reviews
In 2981 TA two Rangers free several women of different races from orc and mannish slavers in Northern Eriador. A gap-filler about how the Dunedain of the North, Dunlendings, Breelanders and others live, spanning over a decade. A tale of their customs, political intrigues, social mores, of the Rangers in particular. And a forbidden love of the sort which shall not be mentioned.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 49 - Words: 91,004 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 3/11/2014 - Published: 10/6/2013 - [OC, Orc] Aragorn, Dwarf - Complete
Heroes Don't Hate Their Lives by McJunker reviews
After the War of the Ring, a Gondorian soldier is left adrift in a sea of bureaucracy, alcoholism, and depression.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,811 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/23/2014
Trigger by Lost Claudia reviews
Maggie Campbell was a military medic. During a tornado on a weekend trip, she mysteriously ends up in Middle Earth. Convinced her Earth-body is probably in a coma, she plays along anyway. Might as well do what she can.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 118,112 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 2/20/2014 - Published: 6/16/2013 - Boromir
Some Other Beginning's End by Determamfidd reviews
(Written for Gigolas Week). There are first times that matter. And then there are those that never end. (Gimli/Legolas, Oneshot)
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,081 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 9 - Published: 2/15/2014 - Legolas, Gimli - Complete
Of Spices and Stewed Goat by Eildon Rhymer reviews
Faramir receives an unexpected visitor in the wilds of Ithilien, leading to an afternoon of wine, cooking and memories.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,509 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 12 - Published: 2/1/2014 - Boromir, Faramir - Complete
Royals by Sookie Starchild reviews
Legolas is a straight-laced EBI agent. Gimli is an uncontrollable hurricane of justice working with the Dale PD. Can they find a way to work together to stop a drug lord known only as The Necromancer? Based on the film The Heat, done by request. Lots of profanity, vulgarisms, obscenities and fantastical racism.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 20 - Words: 25,951 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 1/15/2014 - Published: 12/17/2013 - Legolas, Gimli
Promises by CSHL reviews
The sequel to "40 Days" that answers the questions, "What happened when our lost Rebels returned to the Alliance? How did Leia cope with the loss of the man she loves, and what were the reactions to their relationship? How was the rescue for Han planned? And the burning question I know you all can't wait to find out…How does Leia feel about Han's response on Bespin?"
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 43,712 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 12/23/2013 - Published: 11/1/2012 - Leia O., Han S.
Dear Writers of FanFiction by A Vulcan's Kiss reviews
The ℱellowship of The ℛing would like to have a few words with us concerning some of the cliché stories that are abundant on this branch. I suppose we can say that the most of them are a tad bit peeved • Canon and Pairings, mostly • Will accept Requests/Suggestions • Chapter 47: "Treebeard ON - Run, Forest, RUN!" • Please Read • T for safety • R&R! • 100,000 HITS! • CH47UP!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 47 - Words: 6,390 - Reviews: 1292 - Favs: 298 - Follows: 311 - Updated: 12/11/2013 - Published: 2/22/2013 - Aragorn, Legolas, Arwen U., Elrond
A marriage born of cold calculation by TMI Fairy reviews
Miriel needs to replace her husband fallen in the War of the Ring. She needs a man to guard her, her children and the estate until her son comes of age. Hastogur is an ugly Ranger of the North. He has ambitions going beyond an unmarked grave in the Lone Lands. Riding with the Grey Company gives an opportunity to change it. Slightly AU - Hastogur is Aragorn's relative.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,212 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/5/2013 - OC - Complete
Just Paw-sitively Purr-fect by OogieBoogie reviews
During an Auror mission gone wrong, Malfoy was turned into something not-human. And until they find a proper cure that won't kill him, he is placed under the care of one who has experience with such beings. Yes, Hermione Granger.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 22,913 - Reviews: 218 - Favs: 569 - Follows: 219 - Updated: 9/24/2013 - Published: 9/8/2013 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Feelings Untold by Niloriel1701 reviews
Set during the fellowship of the ring. Aragorn comes to a realization about his dearest and most beloved friend and ally, Legolas. The fellowship is nearing Rohan, and the confusion intensifies as Aragorn begins to question who he really is, and whether his past choices are truly his present self. It becomes clear that the feelings are not unrequited.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 21,637 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 7/27/2013 - Published: 3/29/2013 - Aragorn, Legolas
Kiss me by TMI Fairy reviews
AU. Eomer dies at Black Gates and Eowyn is shaken out of brooding and gets busy.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,748 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/23/2013 - Eowyn, Faramir - Complete
Tomorrow by Scotch reviews
What if tomorrow will be the end of everything? What then? Elrond/Gil-Galad. Oneshot.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,287 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/19/2013 - [Elrond, E. Gil-Galad] - Complete
The Last of the Stewards by Ark ThirtySix reviews
Thanks to Éomer's involvement and the well-intentioned interference of Beregond, the first week of her marriage to Faramir does not go as Éowyn had hoped.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,212 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/12/2013 - Eowyn, Faramir, Eomer - Complete
Adventures of the Fanfiction Fellowship by Terreis reviews
Read and review, please! As their battle with fanfiction draws to a close, the Fanfiction Fellowship realizes they have to say goodbye to one another. And then they realize that maybe getting rid of fanfiction wasn't the BEST idea they ever had...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 25 - Words: 78,032 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 7/5/2013 - Published: 5/13/2009 - Arwen U., Eowyn, Elrohir, Glorfindel - Complete
Speaking the Words (Carnal Spirits) by ladypeter reviews
When Leia was a girl, they called it "talking dirty," and she found the whole concept distasteful. What she didn't understand was the power that words could have to drive passion. Here's how she gained that understanding. Part of the "Carnal Spirits" series.
Star Wars - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,019 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/13/2013 - Leia O., Han S. - Complete
In Fading Light by milgarion reviews
""You should go." Legolas spoke, the whispered words more a sibilant arrangement of air between his lips, stained with the sweet and sickly smell of blood." - not all battles can go to plan. slash.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 23 - Words: 64,719 - Reviews: 144 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 4/2/2013 - Published: 12/14/2012 - Aragorn, Legolas
Une Cruche en Terre du Milieu by CryForTheMoon reviews
Une autre parodie 100% Marysuesque ! Gloria est une jeune fille passionnée de la saga LSDA, a un gros faible pour le beau Legolas et désire le rencontrer... Ardemment ! Un jour, elle débarque mystérieusement en Terre du Milieu...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - French - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,740 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 3/25/2013 - Published: 2/29/2012 - Estella B.
Imrahil's Daughters by Lialathuveril reviews
A chance encounter in a linen cupboard in the Houses of Healing has unforeseen consequences as Éomer of Rohan finds himself caught between two very different women. However, things are not quite as they seem: a tale of love, deception and bees.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 61,697 - Reviews: 346 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 1/14/2013 - Published: 9/3/2012 - Lothíriel, Eomer - Complete
The Rules of Negotiation by BlueNynaeve reviews
Lothiriel thinks marriage is a contract and it is her job to teach Eomer what that means. But in teaching, she learns more about... her embarrassing wedding night.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,715 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 8 - Published: 12/29/2012 - Eomer, Lothíriel
No Whining Allowed by jzhanfan reviews
A humorous re-do of the original trilogy featuring all the usual suspects. A mother-daughter fan fiction collaboration in which Luke is not rescued on Hoth but suffers life-altering injuries instead... and the SW galaxy becomes a Whine-Free Zone. Rated K for a few mild expletives and excessive use of alliteration.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,292 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Published: 7/19/2012 - Leia O., Luke S. - Complete
Simulating Life by prisoner2187 reviews
A new training simulator on base sparks the continuing development of Han and Leia's friendship/relationship.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,348 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/18/2011 - Published: 12/7/2011 - Leia O., Han S. - Complete
Choppy Waters by Thanwen reviews
While in Dol Amroth for trade negotiations in the summer of 3020, Éomer, King of the Mark, encounters Lothíriel of Dol Amroth for the first time and a catenation of misunderstandings and conflictive emotions lead to a race of life and death.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 76,101 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 9/21/2011 - Published: 6/18/2011 - Eomer, Lothíriel - Complete
Scattered Leaves by Eldalie reviews
When Míriel came to Mirkwood, Legolas found love. But when she goes visiting her native land of Ithilien and meets the Captain of Gondor, things may happen that even the wisdom of the Elves cannot prevent...MEFA 2010 NOMINEE
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 42,357 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 4/20/2010 - Published: 2/24/2010 - Legolas, Faramir - Complete
Author's Notes by Geale reviews
Being Aragorn is not very easy, not when you have heavy writing duties, a Quest to Mount Doom to undertake, and one jealous lover with an unhealthy love of words. Rated M for SLASH, occasional dying, poetry, and general madness.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 78,520 - Reviews: 190 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 2/9/2010 - Published: 8/17/2008 - Aragorn, Legolas - Complete
Into the Fire by suezahn reviews
Whether things are getting better or worse after the disaster on Hoth really depends on one's point of view. A trip-to-Bespin story and part of my "Kismet" series. Please R&R. Finalized Dec 2009.
Star Wars - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 87,390 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 12/24/2009 - Published: 12/3/2008 - Leia O., Han S. - Complete
Talk to Me by Sara's Girl reviews
When the usual channels of communication are shut down, the most surprising people can find a way in. A strange little love story. HPDM slash, AU 7th-year fluffy!verse.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16,550 - Reviews: 390 - Favs: 1,573 - Follows: 97 - Published: 9/25/2009 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Foundations by Sara's Girl reviews
When one door closes, another one opens... with a bit of a push. Life, love and complications. Sequel to Reparations. HPDM slash. COMPLETED.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 249,430 - Reviews: 921 - Favs: 1,263 - Follows: 202 - Updated: 8/1/2009 - Published: 5/8/2009 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
First Time by Lady Bluejay reviews
Will Elladan and Elrohir decide to help out a lady? A very short story. Complete.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,031 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 18 - Updated: 6/28/2009 - Published: 1/8/2009 - Elrohir, Eomer - Complete
Reparations by Sara's Girl reviews
Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places. HPDM pre-slash/slash. Now completed.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 92,767 - Reviews: 1109 - Favs: 2,258 - Follows: 265 - Updated: 4/10/2009 - Published: 2/5/2009 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
The Other Kiss That Changed Everything by LittleCatt reviews
Some say the Bespin kiss changed everything, but there was another kiss that occured not long before that tends to get overlooked.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,533 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 15 - Published: 1/10/2009 - Leia O., Han S. - Complete
The Safest Place On Earth by ducky72 reviews
My take on Abby’s “Can I stay with you tonight”.
NCIS - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 413 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/3/2008 - Abby S., Leroy Jethro Gibbs - Complete
The Bet by ness345 reviews
A one shot about a bet set by the Rouge Squadron surrounding Han and Leia. Han/Leia romance. May become a series of oneshots
Star Wars - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 627 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 9 - Published: 7/28/2008 - Leia O., Han S.
Waterloo by Lady Bluejay reviews
No one who had endured the Siege of Minas Tirith or lived through the Battle of the Pelennor Fields emerged unscathed. Either in mind or body, all were affected in some way. Lothíriel only played a small part but her experiences changed her life. Complete
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,890 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/7/2008 - Published: 1/5/2008 - Lothíriel, Eomer - Complete
A Dance, Your Worship by BatmansBabe reviews
Luke began to notice that, more often than not, when he went to check up on Han, Leia was already there. She ate Han’s smuggled food rather than the rations while admonishing him for not sharing it with the rest of the base
Star Wars - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,131 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/4/2007 - Han S., Leia O. - Complete
Unexpected Detours by Scarlet Scully reviews
It usually doesn't take 3 years to turn sexual tension into a relationship. Here's my take on why our couple is still fighting in ESB. HanLeia. Some smut and other mature subject matter. Finally complete!
Star Wars - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 43,508 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 1/7/2007 - Published: 7/3/2006 - Han S., Leia O. - Complete
Book Learning by LadyBranwyn reviews
In the libraries of Minas Tirith, Faramir had learned the abstract lore of numbers and the healing secrets of herbs, yet his studies had not included this, the most arcane of subjects. Rated M for acts of matrimony. Written in honor of Raksha the Demon.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,104 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 11/2/2006 - Published: 6/13/2006 - Faramir, Eowyn - Complete
Black Eyes by Lialathuveril reviews
King Éomer of Rohan and Princess Lothiriel of Dol Amroth – surely the perfect political alliance, but what if the lady is not willing and decides to use unconventional means to get out of this arrangement? My second scenario.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 32,275 - Reviews: 281 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 7/21/2006 - Published: 5/23/2006 - Lothíriel, Eomer - Complete
Not A Nice Man by SoloFalcon reviews
Han lets his own life experiences help Leia and Luke deal with the losses in their lives. Set shortly after the battle of Yavin, between A New Hope and Empire.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 30,577 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/13/2006 - Han S., Leia O. - Complete
After The Storm by Sar-kaz-m reviews
Completed. Movieverse gapfiller, FaramirEowyn. Sequel to Points of Precedence. How Faramir and Eowyn came together. Completed.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 36,850 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 1/2/2006 - Published: 10/31/2005 - Faramir, Eowyn - Complete
Comfort Me Not With Cookies by Raksha The Demon reviews
Being the condensed version of an epic tale that I would never, ever write! Faramir Angst! Legolas-passion! A plucky OFC! It's a movie-verse AU parody, for your viewing pleasure. Complete.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,387 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/31/2005 - Faramir - Complete
Valentine's Day by Erestor reviews
Legolas emerged. He was wearing silken blue pajamas, his blonde hair was tousled, and his grey eyes were only half open. “What’s going on?" he asked. "Are we under attack?” Erestor smirked. “Not yet,” he said.'
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,014 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 10 - Published: 2/14/2005 - Legolas - Complete
The Slash Fairy Cometh by cyberwulf reviews
Parody. Theoden and Denethor hunt the Slash Fairy after she makes them... do things. WARNING: non-explicit slash.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,495 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/12/2004
Gift Horses by Some Jedi Girl reviews
Eowyn only wants to escape the Houses of Healing and a sad future in Rohan.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,376 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/2/2004 - Eowyn, Faramir
Fairdinkum Faramir by clairon reviews
After a confusing conversation with Boromir, Denethor finds he has more in common with Faramir than he imagined. A response to A'mael Taren's February Challenge: "Portray the relationship of Faramir and Denethor in a positive light."
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 971 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/12/2004 - Faramir, Boromir
FARAMIR: Owner's Guide and Manual by lalaithien reviews
PG for mild innuendo. This is an homage to the brilliant Owner's Guides by Theresa Green, which I adore. If you enjoy, write a review and let me know!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,079 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 6 - Published: 11/28/2003 - Faramir
Hello? Two Kings by tbossjenn reviews
Faramir seeks answers regarding a certain movie
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,817 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/31/2003 - Faramir
Blood And Warm Blankets by Kielle reviews
Eomer and Faramir are trapped in a nefarious web of (*gasp*) slash cliches! Light metahumor.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,020 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/14/2002 - Faramir
Mary Sue's Ugly Divorce by The Evil Old Woman reviews
So.... say a modern girl falls into Middle-Earth and snags Legolas. Do you think it’d last? Hah! If you’re sick of Mary-Sue, click in and see her exposed to her worst nightmare... reality! BWAHAHAHAHA!!! (Canon-sensitive and proofread)
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,990 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/3/2002
The Official Fanfiction University of Middleearth by misscam reviews
The fic that spawned miniBalrogs, Elrond's Naturally Nine, the MorgothSauron feud, Urple, the WitchWall and finally, Gimli got the girl.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 64 - Words: 66,366 - Reviews: 3102 - Favs: 1,855 - Follows: 171 - Updated: 7/12/2002 - Published: 3/8/2002 - Complete
I finally settle the "Great Hair Debate"! by The Evil Old Woman reviews
Tolkien scholars have spend enough time arguing about Legolas' hair color - so I present the only possible answer! (A parody of Tolkien scholarship that contains actual research. Hopefully funny; at least canon and proofread.)
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,062 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/25/2002
Left Out by Victoria Bitter reviews
**SLASH** The kind of Mary Sue fic we'd like to see...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 822 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/23/2002
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A tight space reviews
AU - Eowyn is sent to Ithilien by her brother to get her away from Edoras and Wormtongue. Promped by Sian making an off-hand remark about Rangers in tight spaces, then adding that this was just what she wanted to take her mind off her migraine. Started out as PWP migraine cure, but has now taken on a life of its own - AU all the way through to Pelennor and Houses of Healing.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 19,203 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/24 - Published: 1/31 - Eowyn, Faramir
Flower of Ice and Steel reviews
"When I first looked on her and perceived her unhappiness, it seemed to me that I saw a white flower standing straight and proud, shapely as a lily, and yet knew that it was hard, as if wrought by elf-wrights out of steel. Or was it, maybe, a frost that had turned its sap to ice, and so it stood, bitter-sweet, still fair to see, but stricken, soon to fall and die?" (JRR Tolkien)
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 29 - Words: 153,924 - Reviews: 221 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 3/11 - Published: 9/9/2013 - Eowyn, Faramir - Complete
The Bequest reviews
Dear, departed Aunt Beryl turns out to have... well, a skeleton in the closet isn't entirely accurate, but it's not far off. Not so much a work of fanfiction as a work about fanfiction. A bit weird... and as for the humour and romance tags... that's very dark humour and seriously twisted romance. Mild M only for the acts referred to, nothing explicit at all.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,939 - Reviews: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/4 - OC
The Red Tower of Ecthelion reviews
An exhausted Lothiriel takes refuge from her day of helping the Healers during the battle of Pelennor. She falls asleep in a half-ruined guard tower on the walls, but is awakened by the arrival of a battle weary warrior, a horselord from the north.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,206 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 10 - Published: 1/19 - Eomer, Lothíriel
Real Men Take Responsibility reviews
An unusually quiet day for Sleepy Hollow PD, when Captain Irving gets an unexpected visitor. Inspired by Orlando Jones joking about the sort of fanfic he'd like to read about his character... An affectionate parody (sorry, everyone, just can't resist parody). Set late series 1.
Sleepy Hollow - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,597 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/2 - Captain F. Irving, Abigail M., Ichabod C., Headless Horseman
Surrender to the Steward reviews
What would happen if Eowyn and Faramir were to come upon a stack of rather racy, badly written, Harlequin-like books... Books featuring themselves? A parody of bad sex writing (hopefully with some more entertaining smut too). Plot? What plot?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,126 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/6/2014 - Eowyn, Faramir - Complete
Because second best is pretty good reviews
Apologies. I'm on a bit of a crack-fic roll at the moment. So anyway - Laws and Customs of the Eldar has always struck me as more than a bit implausible. So, it was a dark and stormy night in Meduseld...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 509 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/5/2014 - Aragorn, Legolas, Eowyn
Adventures of a Tenth Roadie reviews
We're all familiar with the tenth walker story, in which a teenager from our world (usually with suitably angsty back story) falls into Middle Earth. But what of the reverse? What happens when a teenager from Middle Earth falls into our world? What sort of quest awaits her? Who will be the other half of her OTP? Another Tommy Ginger/Annafan collaboration. 100% pure crack fic.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,144 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/4/2014
Groundhog GDIME reviews
Charlize has read all the fanfics, she knows all the tricks... All she has to do is follow the tried and tested methods for falling into Middle Earth, and she'll get the elven prince of her dreams. And if at first you don't succeed, try, try again... and again... and again. Not a Legomance (but not for want of trying on Charlize's part). The fic where everyone gets a happy ending!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 34 - Words: 79,835 - Reviews: 252 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 9/23/2014 - Published: 9/2/2013 - Human, Legolas, Boromir, Aragorn - Complete
Beginnings reviews
Why did it take Han and Leia three years to start to get close to one another? Perhaps it's because, in the middle of a war, you have other stuff to think about. Or perhaps losing your whole planet puts a damper on things. Han gets caught up in an argument among the top brass, and finds himself caught up in mission planning with "Princess Death Wish." Happy Birthday, Lady Peter!
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,893 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/15/2014
Redware reviews
Trying to get a moment alone away from their chaperones, Eowyn and Faramir explore Minas Tirith shortly before their wedding. Sometimes a little bit of art history can prove... inspirational. Plot? What plot. ;-)
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,288 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/13/2014 - Eowyn, Faramir
There reviews
"The war has cost Rohan two kings and one prince – I only ask for one steward in return." AU – Éomer fell at the Black Gate and Éowyn is now Queen of Rohan. To avoid her nobles manoeuvring her into marrying one of their own who would then become the power behind the throne, Éowyn proposes to Faramir instead. What happens when he arrives in Edoras? Sequel to Borys68's Kiss Me.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,364 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/2/2014 - Eowyn, Faramir
The Little Wooden Horse reviews
It is not often that King Theoden finds himself confronted with a situation he does not know how to handle, but choosing a birthday present for a small girl is one of them.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,122 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/11/2014 - Théoden, Eomer, Eowyn
Who will guard the guardians? reviews
A little Frankenstein's ficlet of a crack fic. We're all familiar with those modern day AU versions where Gandalf is a high school teacher, Legolas an eco warrior, etc. etc. This is what happens when instead of a fresh-faced teenage self-insert, two middle aged ladies write themselves into an AU fic with the brothers Hurin. Collaboration with Tommy Ginger.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 887 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/1/2014 - Boromir, Faramir, OC
Christmas Lecture reviews
A random piece of Christmas fluffiness for all who liked Adventures outside Middle Earth. Gimli has come up with a suggestion for what Legolas can do to fill his time. Cover art by mini-Annafan. Inspired by R. Brown's work.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,580 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/24/2013 - [Legolas, OC]
Night on the Plains reviews
Out on the plains of Rohan, Eowyn recalls a night in Minas Tirith. An out-take from "Flower of Ice and Steel" which didn't quite fit, and a Christmas present for Tommy Ginger. Gratuitous smut and comedy.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,290 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/24/2013 - [Eowyn, Faramir]
Change a line, ruin a movie franchise reviews
A variation on that old game "change a word, ruin a movie". Does exactly what it says on the tin. A Christmas present for Lady Peter. A cast of thousands, and nothing is sacred.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 984 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Published: 12/24/2013 - Luke S., Leia O., Han S., Darth Vader
Adventures outside Middle Earth reviews
Middle Earth is suffering yet another invasion of Mary Sues. What can Galadriel do to rescue Legolas from his pursuers? Send him to another world, of course. What could possibly go wrong? Adventure, humour, a spot (OK, a lot) of Legolas/OC romance. And poor old Haldir's life is spiralling out of control. Rated T for swearing, sexual references, and silliness. And very AU.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 78,865 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 9/10/2013 - Published: 3/18/2013 - Legolas, Galadriel, Haldir - Complete
A Single Barrel reviews
Alternative version of chapter 19 of Adventures outside Middle Earth: the encounter that was "glossed over" in the T-rated version. Helena has been looking after her "ethereally beautiful" visitor from another world since he appeared from nowhere, wounded and in need of help. M for a reason, please do not read if sexual scenes aren't your thing, or if you're not old enough.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,945 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/29/2013 - Published: 7/16/2013 - Legolas, Human
Her Beautiful Back reviews
During an intimate moment, Han reflects on how they got this far together, and what he wants from the relationship. M for a reason.
Star Wars - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 696 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 6/13/2013 - Leia O., Han S.
Tell me about the first time reviews
Luke is out drinking with the Rogues when the conversation starts to go places Luke just doesn't want it to. Who can spare him his blushes? T for sexual innuendo.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 843 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/1/2013 - Han S., Leia O., Luke S. - Complete
Just another day on Hoth reviews
Luke watches the Rogues as they watch Leia and Han have another spectacular argument. My first fan fic, please be gentle!
Star Wars - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 576 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/3/2013 - Leia O., Han S.
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