Author has written 4 stories for Harry Potter, M*A*S*H, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, and Hunger Games.
Hey all of you nosie people! I'll tell you a bit about myself, but only because they have this whole bio thing.
Name: It's a type of flower. Not a common one, but still one you could find on baby-name websites.
Age: Old enough to attend Hogwarts.
Gender: Female, duh. My penname is smurfette81013
I enjoy reading in general, I'm not overly picky about what I read, but I don't like lemon scenes, so I skip over them in the stories I read. I will not write any full out lemons, but I don't mind mentioning certain embarrassing situations, like the 'someone got turned on by someone else' kind of stuff.
I write Harry Potter stories, Percy Jackson and the Olympians stories, and there might a few Twilight stories for my friends.
My spelling can be pretty bad at times, so if you notice anything, leave a review or PM me. Same goes for my grammar.
I don't like some pairings, like Harry/Ginny or Percy/Annabeth. I don't know why, but I never really liked Annabeth in the PJO series, and although I have nothing against Ginny, I just don't really like the idea of Harry dating/marrying/having kids with his best friend's sister.
If you want to talk to me and don't want to review, just send me a PM asking me for my email. I will not, however be putting it on this page, because I don't want people sending me flames through emails.
I don't let flames bother me. If somebody on this site wants to sink low enough to send me a review stating everything they don't like about one of my stories in a non-constructive way, then fine, go ahead. Just because they're pissed at life doesn't mean I have to be.
THE PERCY JACKSON PLEDGE:
I promise to remember Percy whenever I'm at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron whenever I see a sign that says "free pony ride"
I promise to remember Tyson whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remember Rachel whenever a limo passes my car
Yes, I promise to remember PJO wherever I may go.
Girl: Slow down!
Guy: No this is fun!
Girl: No it's not! Please, it's way to scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you. Now slow down.
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gave him a big hug.
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself? It's bothering me.
In the newspaper, the next day, a motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure.
Two people were on it and only one survived.
The truth was, that half way down the road the guy realized his breaks were out and he didn't want the girl to know.
Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so she would live even if it meant he would die.
If you would do the same for the person you love, copy and paste this into your profile
16 things to do at Wal-Mart
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
I'm not a lumberjack or a fur trader, and I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber and I don't own a dog sled. I don't know Jimmy, Sally, or Suzie from Canada, although I'm sure they're really, really nice.
I have a Prime Minister instead of a President. I speak English and French, not American and I pronounce it 'about', not 'a boot'.
I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack. I believe in peace keeping, not policing, diversity, not assimilation, and that the beaver is a proud and noble animal.
A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch, and a serviette is a napkin.
It's pronounced zed, not zee, Zed!
Canada is the second largest landmass, the first nation of hockey, and the best part of North America!
-Repost this if you're Canadian and proud of it!
OF COURSE I TALK TO MYSELF. sometimes i need expert advice
THINK I’M SARCASTIC? watch me pretend to care!
I’M NOT INSULTING YOU. i’m describing you.
SARCASM. the bodies natural defense against stupidity
COMMON SENSE IS SO RARE THESE DAYS. IT SHOULD BE CLASSIFIED AS A SUPERPOWER
I’M NOT ANTI-SOCIAL i’m anti-stupid
ALWAYS BE YOURSELF unless you can be a UNICORN then always be a unicorn
BE YOURSELF ...unless you suck
DON’T HIT KIDS. No. Seriously. They have guns now
Sarcastic comment ...loading... please wait
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
you can’t fix STUPID not even with DUCT TAPE
Sorry. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
OF COURSE I TALK LIKE AN IDIOT. how else could you understand me?
I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you knew.
If people could read my mind... I’d get punched in the face a lot...
The voices are back. EXCELLENT.
A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
IF YOU CHOKE A SMURF what colour does he turn?
I see dumb people
Sarcasm is just one more free service we offer
Sometimes I wonder. “why is that FRISBEE getting BIGGER?”
Then it hits me.
Real bear hugs are often fatal
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems
Yet despite the look on my face... your still talking.
If at first you DON’T SUCCEED then maybe you JUST SUCK.
I’m already visualizing you with DUCT TAPE over your mouth.
I’m MULTI-TALENTED I can talk and annoy you at the same time
An APPLE a day will keep ANYONE away if thrown hard enough.
I’m not saying YOU’RE STUPID I’m just saying you’ve got BAD LUCK when it comes to thinking.
Unless your name is GOOGLE stop acting like you know everything.
Photoshop. Helping the ugly since 1988
I’d love to explain it to you, but i don’t have any CRAYONS
ORGANIZED PEOPLE are just too lazy to LOOK FOR THINGS
if you say GULLIBLE slowly it sounds like ORANGES
I like you but if ZOMBIES CHASE US I’m tripping you
It’s ok if you disagree with me. I can’t force you to be right.
I’m actually not funny, I’m just mean and people think I’m joking.
I’M NOT WEIRD I’m limited edition!
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile
People laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at them because they're all the same.
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is the best defense.
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.
A stranger stabs you in the front: a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart; but best friends only poke each other with straws.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
If at first you don't succeed, then destroy all evidence that you tried.
That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.
Its tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?
If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals, I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Avoid hangovers: stay drunk.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.
I’ve got problem for your solution…
Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”
All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life!
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button.
To be or not to be, that is the question, and according to my father the answer is, "Go ask your mother." According to my mother the answer is, "Do whatever you want, just leave me alone."
Who are we? Where do we come from? Where are we going? Well, I am a girl, I came from my room, and I am going out. Bye!
A wise old man once said, "We do not know, go ask your mother." This man was Dr. Seuss. Look it up in One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
They say no one is perfect. I am no one.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
I plan on living forever. So far, so good
Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.
Coffee, chocolate, men: Somethings are just better rich.
Do not drink and drive, you might spill the drink.
If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.
I’m impressed, I’ve never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
If Life Gives You Lemon Quotes
If life gives you lemons, give them back and demand chocolate covered strawberries.
If life gives you lemons, make wine and let the world wonder how the hell you managed to do that.
If life gives you lemons, you better sit and wait for some sugar and water, otherwise you're going to have some pretty sour lemonade.
When life hands you lemons make lemonade and find someone else who life handed vodka to, and have a party.
When life gives you lemons, unscramble the letters and have some melons.
When life gives you lemons say, “screw you,” and go find an orange.
If life gives you lemons, grow a lemon tree. When that tree gives you more lemons, make a lemon orchard. When that orchard gives you more lemons, sell them and become rich. Then next time you see life, you can say, “Thanks for the lemons!” Life hates people who are grateful for its lemons.
If life gives you lemons, keep them, because, hey: free lemons.
If life gives you lemons, mail them to God and ask for apples.
If life hands you lemons, throw them back and yell “I WANTED CHOCOLATE!”
Life gave me lemons, but I am allergic to lemons, does that mean life hates me?
Life gave you lemons? Ha! I got strawberries!
When life gives you apples say: Oi! What happened to the lemons?
When life gives you lemons learn to juggle. Or, even better, get an air cannon and have some real fun.
Rules For Hogwarts:
- If Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade I will not point at the sky and shout, "TO THE BAT MOBILE!"
- Remus Lupin does NOT want a flee collar.
- I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his time of the month.
- I will not say, "Dude, get a life" to Lord Voldemort.
- I will not ask Snape why he stole Batman's cape.
- Professor Flitwick's name is not Yoda.
- I am not to refer to the Accio charm as 'The Force'.
- The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
- If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, I shall assume that I am not allowed to use it.
- It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.
- "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
- Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labelled, "Firewhiskey."
- I am not allowed to paint the House Elves blue and call them Smurfs.
- The Whomping Willow is not a Entwife with PMS.
- "I have eight horcruxes, take that Voldy!"
- "So I was all like Avada Kadavra and he was all like. Dead."
- Draco Malfoy the amazing...bouncing...Ferret.
- No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
- Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in May...June...or July...
- Despite popular belief, Hufflepuffs are not soft and squishy. Do not treat them as such.
- I am not allowed to sing 'we're off to see the wizard' on the way to the headmaster's office.
- I am definitely not to sing it accompanied by the house elves acting as a backing group.
- Especially not with kazoos.
- The fact that there are only three unforgivable curses does not mean that every other curse is "pretty much forgivable".
- Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Happiness, or any other house is forbidden.
- There is no such thing as the "Hufflepuff Marshmallow Man"...Even if I do conjure him up.
- Regardless of the beautiful irony, I will not hang a tempting piñata from the Whomping Willow.
- The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate.
- Especially in reference to Professor Umbridge.
- I will not write "Wizard" on my hat in sequins.
- I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?"
- I am not allowed to dress exactly like Snape and ask him to call me "Mini me."
- Snape does not want bleach, laundry detergent, or new underwear for his birthday or Christmas.
- No combination of these is acceptable.
- Murmuring “I see dead people… ” every time I see one of the ghosts is stupid and was never funny.
- Yelling “To infinity, and BEYOND!” was only funny the first time I took off on my broom.
- I am no longer allowed to sing my “own personal spy music” when I wander around the hallways.
- I should not remark that, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” when Snape gets angry. Ever.
- If I become an animagus, I am not allowed to yell “MORPHIN’ TIME!” every time I change.
- I cannot do this whenever anyone else changes either.
- I must not shout "Beam me up Scotty" before disapparating.
- I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals.
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. BOLD the ones you are.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. BOLD the ones you are.
I can put this on my profile because I've lived in in America
1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'
10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.
Fun things to do in an Elevator to freak the other riders out:
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY - DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, and then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
A white man walked into a restaurant. There was a black man at the bar.
The white man said, Colored people are not allowed here
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK
When I grew up I was BLACK
When I'm sick I'm BLACK
When I go in the sun I'm BLACK
When I'm cold I'm BLACK
When I die I'll be BLACK
But you sir
When you are born you're PINK
When you grow up you're WHITE
When you're sick, you're GREEN
When you go in the sun you're RED
When you're cold you're BLUE
And when you die you're PURPLE
And you have the nerve to call me colored?
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away . . .
Put this on your page if you hate racism!
THE MORSE CODE:
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: