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Author has written 56 stories for Sonic the Hedgehog, Ninjago, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Homestuck, Hetalia - Axis Powers, Teen Titans, Doctor Who, Undertale, Avengers, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard, Voltron: Legendary Defender, Overwatch, and Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir.
Hello! My profile is currently being edited, since I haven't touched it for over a year. I apologize for any inconvenience.
Call me TJ!
My Tumblr is here
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner! Person #2: Too bad the world is round!
It's all a conspiracy. Babies come from robots.
THE MORSE CODE :
ELECTION - RESULTS:
A DECIMAL POINT:
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
Q. Hermes asked you to help him repopulate Olympus...what is your answer to this disturbing question?
In loving memory of...
...Luke Castellan, who died to save Olympus and will always be remembered as a hero
...Zoe Nightshade, who went on a quest knowing very well that she would die
...Bianca di Angelo, who sacrificed herself to save her friends
...Daedalus, who died to prevent Luke's army from using the Labyrinth
...Silena Beauregard, who died a hero
...Charles Beckendorf, who let himself die for the sake of a mission's success
...Ethan Nakumura, who redeemed himself in the end only to be killed by Kronos
...Everyone else who died in the Titan War
The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
"People often ignore the simple things in life. If someone really annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown. On the other hand, it only takes 4 muscles to reach over and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head!"
Everyone is entitled to being stupid, but you just abuse the privilege.
Don't follow in my footsteps. I run into walls.
THINGS YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR WHILE UNDERGOING SURGERY:
1. "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."
2. "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop."
3. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
4. "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!"
5. "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"
6. "Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingy."
7. "Oh no! I just lost my Rolex."
8. "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"
9. "Damn, there go the lights again..."
10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them."
11. "What do you mean you want a divorce?"
Ohh my, you clearly are oblivious to the fact that your eyes do so much damage.
They say kissing is the language of love. Care to indulge in a little convo?
I didn't fall for you... You tripped me.
We have a communication problem and I don't wanna talk about it.
I have skittles in my mouth... wanna taste the rainbow?
If nothing lasts forever, can i be your nothing?
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
Don't be suprised if a fat guy in a red suit stuffs u in a bag in the middle of the niight because i asked for you for christmas
The Percy Jackson pledge:
I promise to remember Percy
There is stupid coming out of your mouth hole again
I wear black because it blends well with my soul.
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
The words 'Can you get up and do this simple thing for me?' never seem to register in my brain.
Deja vu- when you've done something you think you've done before, its because God thought it was so funny, he had to rewind it for his friends to see.
Would you like a cookie? So would I.
My mullet is better than yours . . . it's been blowtorched, and it comes OFF!
Knowledge is power and power corrupts. Study hard; be evil.
I Googled you today and I'm disturbed with what I found.
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? (OH, NO.)
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? (Ah. Good point!)
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Kids Are Quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
TEACHER: Glen, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it!
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
Spanish person: *speaks fast mad spanish*
Person: DUDE SLOW DOWN! DORA DIDN'T TEACH ME THAT YET!
Girl's status: *is now single*
Boy: Haha what a lose- wait that's my girl friend /:
Remember in third grade when the teachers said we need to learn cursive because we're going to use it for the rest of our lives? Haha they lied
Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Man: "So, want to go back to my place?"
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Percy Jackson Quotes
Zoe: Let us find the dam snack bar, we should eat while we can. Grover: The dam snack bar? Zoe: Yes. What is funny? "Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries." Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."...I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand." "I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said. "And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt." - The Titan's Curse
Ever had a flying burrito hit you? Well, it's a deadly projectile, right up there with cannonballs and grenades." - Percy Jackson (Titan's Curse)
"Be careful of love. It'll twist your brain around and leave you thinking up is down and right is wrong." - Aphrodite (Titan's Curse)
"New lesson, class," I announced. "Most monsters will vaporize when sliced with a celestial bronze sword. This change is completely normal, and will happen to you right now if you don't BACK OFF!" - Percy Jackson (Battle of the Labyrinth)
"You might as well ask an artist to explain his art, or ask a poet to explain his poem. It defeats the purpose. The meaning is only clear thorough the search." - Apollo (Titan's Curse)
"Love is powerful. It can bring the gods to their knees." - Aphrodite (The Lost Hero)
"There is always a way out for those clever enough to find it."-Athena (Titan's Curse)
"Even strength must bow to wisdom sometimes." - Annabeth Chase (The Lightning Thief)
"See lady, that's what happens to snow in Texas. It-FREAKIN'-Melts!"-Leo Valdez (The Lost Hero)
Percy: Braccas meas vascimini!" I wasn't sure where the Latin came from. I think it meant, "Eat my pants!"' (The Lightning Thief)
Percy: I'm not saying hello to a pink poodle. Forget about it. Annabeth: Percy, I said hello to the poodle. You say hello to the poodle. The poodle growled. I said hello to the poodle. (The Lightning Thief)
Percy: You're pretty smug, Lord Ares, for a guy who runs from Cupid statues. (The Lightning Thief)
Percy: Hubris? You mean that brown stuff you put on vegetables? Annabeth: That's hummus. Hubris is much worse. Percy: What could be worse than hummus?
- Percy & Annabeth, Sea of Monsters
"Spouted facts all the time. So annoying." "I wish she was here." The others nodded. -Percy and Grover, (Titan's Curse)
I nodded, looking at Rachel with respect. "You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush."' (Battle of Labyrinth)
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
8. (my favorite)My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"Dear math I don't want to solve your problems I have my own to solve."
"Some people need a high five... in the face... with a chair."
"It's a beautiful day, now watch some idiot screw it up."
"Algebra I'm not going to find your X she's not coming back!"
You have to read this! The human race is very stupid if they actually put these things on actual consumer labels...
On a Myer hairdryer:
On a bag of
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
On some frozen dinners:
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
On most brands of Christmas lights:
On a Japanese food processor:
On packet of Nobbys'
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
- Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART.
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me!!
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.'
Death is life’s way of saying you’ve been fired.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions.
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.
The trouble with life is there's no background music
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
God made man, knew he could do better, and made woman.
I was about to conquer the world but then I got distracted by something shiny
They laugh because we're losers...We laugh because they just figured it out.
To me, “FEARLESS” is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, FEARLESS is having fears. FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death...I think love is FEARLESS- Taylor Swift
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning how to dance in the rain.- Anonymous
Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart.- Unknown
Dance as though no one is watching. Love as though you have never loved before. Sing as though no one can here you. Live as though heaven is on earth.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.- Eleanor Roosevelt
"You love me. Real or not real?" "Real."- Mockingjay; Peeta Mellark & Katniss Everdeen
Be insane- well behaved people never made history.
To the world you are just one person, but to one person, you're the world.
"Sir, we're surrounded!" "Excellent, we can attack in any direction!"
Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to.
Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein
"A room without books is like a body without a soul." Marcus Cicero
"Smile, don’t frown. Look up, don’t look down. Believe in yourself, don’t let yourself go. Just be who you are, and let your live flow."
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." Oscar Wilde
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye." - Miss Piggy
"We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will." - Chuck Palahniuk,
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."
"The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all." - The Emperor (Mulan)
If someone insults you say 'How sweet thanks for noticing' and walk away
If you like to jump in rain puddles and don't care about your clothes, you're not alone
Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.
A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though they know that you are slightly cracked.
"I survived 9-11, Ice Storm 08, and Swine 09. Doomsday 2012? BRING IT ONNNNN!" -Facebook
"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square hole. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
Harry Potter Quotes
Dudley: They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall. Want to come upstairs and practice? Harry: No, thanks. The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it -- it might be sick.
-Harry & Dudley (The Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone)
1st Weasley Twin: Oh, are you a prefect, Percy? You should have said something, we had no idea. 2nd Weasley Twin: Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it. Once -- 1st Weasley Twin: Or twice -- 2nd Weasley Twin: A minute -- 1st Weasley Twin: All summer -- Percy: Oh, shut up!
-The Weasley Twins & Percy (The Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone)
Professor McGonagall: Well, thank you for that assessment, Mr Weasley. Perhaps it would be more useful if I were to transfigure Mr Potter and yourself into a pocket watch. That way, one of you might be on time.
-Professor McGonagall (The Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone)
Dumbledore: I was unfortunate enough in my youth to come across a vomit-flavored one, and since then I have rather lost my liking for them. But, I think I could be safe with a nice toffee. (eats it) Dumbledore: ...Hmm, alas, earwax.
-Albus Dumbledore (The Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone)
(in the Devil's Snare) Hermione: Stop moving, both of you. This is devil's snare! You have to relax. If you don't, it'll only kill you faster! Ron: Kill us faster? Oh, now I can relax!
Harry: So light a fire! Hermione: Yes... of course... but there's no wood! Ron: HAVE YOU GONE MAD! ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT!
Ron: "A Study of Hogwarts' Prefects and Their Later Careers." That sounds fascinating.
Fred: Oh get out of the way, Percy. Harry's in a hurry. George: Yeah, he's off to the Chamber of Secrets for a cup of tea with his fanged servant.
Ron: Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies"?
Ron: Can you believe our luck? Of all the trees we could've hit, he had to get one that hits back.
Draco: Sure you can manage that broom, Potter? Harry: Yeah, reckon so Draco: Got plenty of special features, hasn't it? Shame it doesn't come with a parachute-in case you get too near a Dementor. (Crabbe and Goyle sniggered) Harry: Pity you can't attach an extra arm to yours, Malfoy. Then it could catch the Snitch for you.
Ron: Right, you've got a crooked sort of cross… (consulting "Unfogging the Future") That means you're going to have 'trials and suffering' -- sorry about that -- but there's a thing that could be a sun… hang on… that means 'great happiness'… so you're going to suffer but be very happy… Harry: You need your Inner Eye tested, if you ask me…
Professor Trelawney: Would anyone like me to help interpret the shadowy realms within their orb? Ron (whispering to Harry): I don't need help. It's obvious what this means. There's going to be loads of fog tonight.
Ron: Don't talk to me. Hermione: Why not? Ron: Because I want to fix that in my memory forever… Ron (his eyes closed): Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret...
''No story lives unless someone wants to listen. The stories we love best do live in us forever. So whether you come back by page or by the big screen, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home."
— J.K. Rowling
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