Pistols-at-dawn
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
beta: β Beta Profile
Joined 12-10-12, id: 4410196, Profile Updated: 10-15-13
Author has written 10 stories for Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Harry Potter, and Homestuck.

hey ;) my names pistols at dawn and i write fanfiction, occasioanllly

i like fandoms harry potter, homestuck and fullmetal alchemist

i ship nepequius, daverose, royed, crabbe/goyle and ron/literally anyone. anyone. blaise, draco, hermione, ginny, luna, harry, neville, dumbledore, these are all people i will ship with ron.

I'm the bard of space, im on derse and im a slytherin

message me and ill tell you why muggles are better than wizards! i love science vs. magic stories

i dont take anything seriously, i dont spellcheck, and i dont care :D

most of my stories range from "humorous" to "parody" to "flat-out trollfic" but youll have to figure out for yourself which are which ;) ive never written any serious fic and if it looks like i did, you fell for it

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Two for Twins Adopted from Hitachiin-Gossip-Girl by Pikagirl556 reviews
The Twins never expected this to happen. During their third year, they meet two curious girls about to get Sorted into their houses. Hermione Granger and her best friend. They didn't even think that was the day they would become Gryffindor's greatest pranking foursome. Spending most of their time together, how will the twins cope if their feelings progress into something more?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,887 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 12/12/2015 - Published: 9/20/2013 - Hermione G., George W., OC, Fred W.
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH by Secondpillow reviews
Harry Potter eventually eats a sandwich and discusses life with a famous author.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 2,847 - Reviews: 1301 - Favs: 1,149 - Follows: 435 - Updated: 2/25/2015 - Published: 8/27/2005 - Bellatrix L., Seamus F.
Dudley's Plan by The-Spotted-Owl reviews
Dudley Dursley has a secret. He's a wizard. And now, at age 17, he has chosen to aid Harry in his fight against the Dark Lord. He attends Hogwarts to receive a proper magical education. But when he finds out that Hogwarts is not what it used to be, his mission becomes a lot harder. And is Dudley falling for a certain girl? Only rated T to be safe.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 15,891 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 11/22/2014 - Published: 10/15/2013 - [Dudley D., Cho C.] Harry P., Neville L.
Slumber by Bob The Other Zombie reviews
It's over- after a hundred years, Sleeping Beauty is finally awake. Unfortunately, not all happy endings are what they seem, and happily-ever-after rarely ends so happily. One-shot.
Sleeping Beauty - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 809 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/22/2012 - Complete
Hermione is Pregnant by Christine Cookie reviews
Hermione is pregnant, and 17. What will happen when she tells the father, her friends, and her family? Also how will being in school while pregnant effect her and the baby? Read to find out.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,040 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 10/21/2007 - Published: 6/15/2007 - Hermione G., Ron W.
Chuck Children in the Fire by Hairy Buttocks reviews
Harry is the youngest child of the Potter family, when James and Lily realize they cannot afford to feed their ten children they decide to burn them slowly and painfully one by one and throw them into the fire.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 653 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 4 - Published: 6/16/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Useless Muggle Toys reviews
Kenya Filch, a squib like her father, has been sent to live with another squib, Mrs. Figg on Pivet Drive. Can Kenya deal with a new muggle school, the exciting functions of a vacuum cleaner, and the neihbors with a hatred of all things magical while the news from her father gets worse every day? When the death eaters close in, will a squib be as useless as a Pottersues rating: bad
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,561 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 10/17/2013 - Published: 9/22/2013 - Dudley D., OC
What happened, and what happened next reviews
A series of notes and transcripts from Hogwarts, starting the day Rose Weasley is sorted in Slytherin, and Scorpius Malfoy is sorted into Hufflepuff.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,173 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 9/27/2013 - Published: 9/19/2013 - Rose W., James S. P., Scorpius M.
The nine lives of Rose Weasley reviews
Rose Weasley will use all of her Slytherin cunning to get herself placed in Gryffindor. But when her mother confronts her with a dark secret about her own existance, Rose suddenly finds herself fighting to be sorted into a house at all. After all, Hogwarts is for humans. Four students from four houses will see the truth, and Rose will not be among them.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,040 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/12/2013 - Published: 7/26/2013 - James P., Albus S. P., Scorpius M., Rose W.
To penetrate a darklords diary reviews
Harry stabs tom riddles diary... in ultra hi-res uncomfortably detailed Innuendo Vision !
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 317 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 12 - Published: 5/10/2013 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr., Basilisk - Complete
Only Under the Rafters reviews
Muriel Weasley begins her first year of Hogwarts in 1898, and immediately encounters: a vampire, a book, a long-lost Heir, a secret passage in an unpleasant location, an old hat (but not the one you think), and a certain sixth year named Albus Dumbledore. It's certain to be an interesting year, at least...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,129 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/26/2013 - Muriel W., Albus D., Alastor M., Arcturus B.
I can't decide reviews
Rose Weasly and Scorpius Malfoy were both sorted into Ravenclaw, much to their families suprise, and quickly became best friends. Co-written with Remi Barret
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,363 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/30/2013 - Published: 3/29/2013 - Scorpius M., Rose W.
Guardianswap reviews
Guardian swap AU: the adventures of Dave Lalonde, Rose Strider, Jade Egbert and John Harley
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,518 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 2/15/2013 - Published: 1/22/2013 - Rose L., Jade H.
DARKO'S PONT OF VIEW LOL reviews
My Immortal rewrite from Dracos POV
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 683 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/18/2013
Typecast
fair warning: this is voldemort dancing ballet. not exactly humor but very over-the-top. the rest of the cast will appear at some point, probably also doing ballet.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 412 - Published: 1/3/2013 - Voldemort
Sleeping In reviews
Grumpy sleeps in, and gets a few minutes alone with snow white. (THEN THEY MAKE OUT)
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,011 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/10/2012 - Grumpy, Snow White - Complete