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Poll: Warverse - I'm drafting up ideas for another pre-Reaper story in the WarVerse. To keep things short, if I went down this route it would mean one more story before I brought the Reaper Saga to the forefront of the Warverse, but I would be able to flesh out some aspects of the universe and the saga's three Main Characters more if I did this. So what would you - the Readers - prefer? Another original plot, or a headlong leap into the Reaper Saga? Vote Now!
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Joined 12-12-12, id: 4414294, Profile Updated: 07-24-15
Author has written 4 stories for Mass Effect.

Hey folks! I'm Professor Fart Burger.

First of all: My name. Yes. You read that right, and no, I won't change it. [Not only is it absolutely awesome.. But my go-to name was taken.]

Secondly: Me!

Age: Is a number.

Name: Is an interesting subject that I likely won't ever reveal to the internets. Also known as ProfFartBurger, or [Redacted] On other sites.

Interests: Video Games, Movies, books, writing, and being a nuisance around my friends.

Favorite Games: The Mass Effect Series, the Legend of Zelda Series, the Metal Gear Solid Series, COD: WaW, COD: MW2, Brutal Legend, and the Fallout series [To name a few].

Favorite Movies: The Toy Story series, The Back to the Future Series, the Terminator 1 and 2 duo, The Pirates of the Caribbean Series, and the Expendables series.

Favorite Food: Sloppy Joes [I can only have then once a year, and as such, I make them in bulk! . . . They last a week, tops.]

Favorite Quote:
After invading Greece and receiving the submission of other key city-states, Philip II of Macedon sent a message to Sparta: "If I win this war, you will be slaves forever."
In another version, he warned: "You are advised to submit without further delay, for if I bring my army into your land, I will destroy your farms, slay your people, and raze your city."
According to both accounts, the Spartan ephors replied with one word: "If"
Subsequently neither Philip nor Alexander attempted to capture the city.

Favorite Number: Any permutation of 6, 1, and 2, in that order. [Whether it's 612, 6,001, 002, 6 and a half {6 1/2, geddit?] or 61.2, I'll take it!]

Goals and aspirations: Become a fireman, succeed in life, sixteen and a half second fart. Once I think of some better, serious, ones, I'll let you know.

I'm also on FictionPress! I've only got one story so far, but check it out nonetheless!

I'm ALSO also on DeviantArt!
Check me out:

{Memorable Milestones:}

The Hopeless War made it to TV Tropes!

TFW Made it to TV Tropes!


1,500 favorites, folks.


That puts Mass Effect: The First War at the SECOND most favorite Mass Effect story on Fanfiction(Dot)net! (As of this date, at least) You've all, seriously, NO DAMN IDEA how thankful I am for this!

Thank you all for this, so very much.

1,000 Followers, for The First War!
Folks, I can't say enough how much I appreciate this.
Only THREE Mass Effect Stories have 1K Followers (Mine included), this is a huge accomplishment.

We fucking did it!
The First War hit 100,000 views today!
Give yourselves a pat on the back, folks!

Today The First War hit twenty five thousand views!
Not only that, but a few hours later, it went on to gain twenty five hundred views, and surpass Hearing the Call!
I seriously can't explain to you how good this makes me feel, thanks so much, guys!

Mass Effect: The First War hit two hundred favorites today!

HtC Hit twenty five thousand views, today!! Thanks a lot, folks!

Mass Effect: The First War hit ONE HUNDRED follows today!
In less than a week since it's publishing date, the two-chapter [So far] story has gotten over ONE HUNDRED follows!
Thanks a lot guys, you're really making me happy.

1/29/13: Mass Effect: The First war hit 2,200 views today!
AND it surpassed Hearing the Call in favorites/follows just a few hours ago. It's been up for THREE DAYS, and it surpassed my first story already.
Thanks a bunch guys!!
My newest story [Mass Effect: The First War] just hit SIXTEEN HUNDRED VIEWS!
And it was only put up the day before yesterday!
Thanks a million guys!

Hearing the Call just hit fifteen thousand!
Thanks for the fifteen thousand views! Here's to fifteen thousand more,

Hearing the Call has hit
ten thousand mother f*cking views!
It's 9:59 PM right now, and I'm looking at the view counter: 10,000!!!
You guys are awesome, it feels incredible to know that I've got so many people coming to read my stuff, so many people coming that I hit a number I never thought I'd hit: Ten Thousand Views.
Damn, I feel good right now. Enjoy the treat, you guys've earned it a day ahead of time.
And in case I haven't said it,
Thank you, to everyone who came to read my stuff,
A bigger thank you to those who are *still* reading my stuff,
And the biggest thank you to everyone who's going to *continue* to read my stuff!
Thanks again, and I'll see you guys at [Dare I say it] 20,000!

1/3/13: 4000 views!
Not just that, but nearly 4,500!
That means I got almost five hundred views in one day!
You guys are awesome!

12/30/12: 2000!
Not just that, but 2200!
I just hit 2200 views!
God damn, I'm going to be honest here, I did not expect this.
Less than a month ago, I found myself wandering through this site, looking for some good Mass Effect Self Inserts, that were different in horw they were executed. Because I noticed a pattern, in a vast majority of the SI's on this site. [A majority! Not an entirety!] This similarity was, the characters were basically turned to killing machines by the time they'd gone to Shepard. And nine times out of ten, when they met Shepard, was the first time they'd have killed someone. Yeah, they'd focus on it for a paragraph or so, but then they'd throw caution to the wind, and turn their characters into killing machines, who had little to no remorse when it came to killing. [I'll concede, a majority of the enemies in ME1 are the geth, robots, but that's not all of them.] Some even went to find creative ways to go nuts and kill everything. And to be honest, it was getting kind of stale.
So I found myself wondering, 'Why hasn't anyone focused on the mental aspect of the Character? In a Self Insert, you are, literally, taken from your home, and put into the game world of a 'deity''s choice. I'll admit, there are probably one or two soldiers, or cops out there, writing for us, but other than that, I'm pretty sure most of us are just regular teens, or regular guys, who go to work every day. So how can we become such efficient killers in a mere chapter? The way I see it, it would have to be a process, an intensely physical and mental process.
But I'm getting off track. A few hours later, I found myself writing the prologue for Mass Effect: Hearing the Call, a Self Insert story [hopefully] like no other. My plan going through this was to just soldier through it, I severely doubted I'd get so many views, reviews, and favorites in less than a month. As long as I could entertain one guy, I'd keep going.
So the prologue goes up, and as I start to draft Chapter 1, I see I got a review. Not just a review, but a favorite! And a follow!! This made me twice as determined to produce quality content. And as the reviews, follows, and favorites kept climbing, I kept writing, and puting more effort into my writing, to the point where I'm going over every sentence with a fine toothed comb to see if there's anything - -anything - - I can improve.
And when I got reviews from authors I actually happened to read, with both of them saying they'd be back!, I nearly fell out of my chair.
Now, here we are, eight chapters in, and I've gotten thirty eight reviews, twenty one favorite, and twenty nine follows. I can honestly say I didnot expect that, and am very pleasantly surprised.
So, over two thousand views in, I'd like to say from the bottom of my heart, I'd like to say thank you, to everyone, who took time out of their day to read my stuff, and to those who went one step further to review it. You guys are why I write, and I can't explain how happy I am to be entertaining you all.

The FartBurger FAQ, the top ten questions I get on a weekly basis:

1) Where did you get the idea for TFW?
The story specifically? Well, I simply wanted to know: What would have happened had the Protheans never left anything for the Humans? I took that and ran with it, and I apparently did something right along the way.

For the Humans of the Systems Alliance? Well, I've got a Project, I call it Project Universe. In it I've got dozens of species, governments, societies, and wars. I took the canon Humanity from PU and started integrating it into Mass Effect, with some changes of course.

2) Dude, this is Halo.
No it's not.

3) How did TFW get so popular?
Simply put: I attribute it to the fact that I love doing what I do, and what I do, is write. Whenever I've got free time, I'm either playing video games, or I'm writing. It's always one or the other. That seems to show in what I write and publish, because everyone seems to like it. I can't please everyone, of course, but I do talk to the nay-sayers to see what they don't like, and I try and improve upon it.

4) Seriously?

5) Where did the idea for Christopher McGraw come from?
Christopher McGraw is, and essentially always was, my ace in the hole. I wanted a character who was part Einstein, part George Carlin, and part Me all in one. I wanted a genius who could crack jokes. I wanted an idiot who could outsmart a nuclear physicist. I wanted a nuclear physicist who could outsmart the guy who made nuclear physics!
The idea for McGraw came from me, as I do serve as the basis for his personality. But his purpose is, as said, the Ace in the Hole. The Comedic Relief, the Scientific Genius, and the Brain of the story. I wanted a guy who could make a particle weapon that shoots antimatter, just as easily as he could explain it in dumb-guy's terms; but I also wanted a guy I personally could relate to. The funny guy, who could crack a million jokes, but still know when to bunker down and get the work done.
Of course, I've also got to fix a walking Deus Ex Machina in there... Somewhere! How else would I explain half the stuff McGraw does?

- - - 6) When is the next chapter/story coming out?
I get this a lot, and all I can say is I'm definitely working on it! Check the updates section below, though, I might have a reason if I'm not, and I'm constantly updating the profile to keep everyone on the same page.
The process with the chapters and stories go: Draft, Edit, Continuity Check, SendToTheBeta, WorkWithTheBeta, Edit More, repeat. This takes a lot more time than you'd think.

7) I'm serious, this is Halo!!
Okay, man, loo
k. This isn't Halo! I know there are a lot of similarities, but I attribute it to Great Minds Think Alike. Yes, Halo and The WarVerse have Railguns, Warp Drives, and Super Soldiers. But they aren't the same! They are different! Similar, but different!

Comparing TFW with Halo is like saying Lord of the Rings is the same thing as Zelda. Saying I ripped it off is like saying Nintendo ripped off J. R. R. Tolkien.
I admit the similarities, I recognize them, and I am trying to change them, but the fact of the matter is: I'm not ripping anyone off, and this is all Original Content!

8) Dude, you're awesome!
Why... Thank you!

9) Do you plan on getting published?
Yes, but not any of my sci-fi stuff. At least, not initially.
I've got a story I've been crafting for years, that I want to get published at some point, and that I will publish, period. When it happens I don't know, but I do know it will happen. If my writing career takes off because of it, I'll surely start writing my sci-fi stuff for the public! But, not before I write the novel I've been working on since fifth grade.

10) What is your creative process? How do you get around to writing these stories?
As anticlimactic as it sounds, I daydream. I see the world around me, and place my world atop it. I think about what would be ten different kinds of cool, imagine it ten different ways, and then I draft the best amalgam of all the imaginings.
As to my ideas themselves, they come contextually, funnily enough. My Sci-Fi, for instance, came entirely from hearing an advertisement for some military movie. I heard them chanting their cadences in the boot-camp scene, and I got to thinking of soldiers. Then Supersoldiers entered my mind, and one thing led to another, and I was crafting the UNiverse.
You read that right, all of my imaginings for my OC Humans, stemmed from the cadence chantings from a trailer for a movie I've never actually given the second thought to look up. Rail Guns, Warp Drives, SIGMAs, they all came from that one Cadence Chant... Those five seconds spawned a universe.


- - In Progress:

(Dates Subject To Change)

Mass Effect: The Hopeless War (Next Chapter: N/A - On [Temporary] Hiatus)

Mass Effect: The Saltorian War (Next Chapter: TBA)

- - Coming Soon:

Mass Effect: He Who Fights Monsters

- - Completed:

Mass Effect: The First War

Mass Effect: Hearing the Call



Hey folks!

The Saltorian War - Before September 2015. I want to start posting this again before September, with my goal being by the beginning of/mid August.

The Hopeless War - Before October 2015. I know what I'm doing with this one, all I need is to get my flow and it'll be down and ready to go.

'Till next time!



Hey folks!

I've got the job! Woohoo!

I've been splitting my time the last few weeks between work and my stories. I've got something of a gameplan that I'm going forward with for The Hopeless War's second arc, and I'm drafting ahead in TSW. (Though both of my Betas seem to be MIA...)

I'm hoping to get stuff up real soon, folks!

'Till next time!


PS: Who saw the trailer for Mass Effect: Andromeda at E3? Bioware had me sold the second I heard Johnny Cash's Ghost Rider, XD


Everyone, cross your fingers, cross your toes, cross your G-D everything.

Today I went in for a Job interview at my (not so) local Subway. They had me making sandwiches within a quarter of an hour (thank god I decided to wear some good clothes, and not my usual jeans/T-shirt combo), and in less than a half hour I was burning my way through the end-of-lunch-rush, and boy was that fun.

But, things went well, and tomorrow morning I'm going in to start my weeklong trial run. Basically, I'm semi-employed right now, for the next week I'll be getting on-the-job and on-the-clock training, so I'll be figuring out how to not fuck up, and I'll be getting paid along the way.

If things work out, I'll have my first job and something of a steady, stable income. If they don't... Well, I won't think about that.

In other (more relevant for you) news, I'm working more on the TSW/THW drafts. I haven't gotten as much work done in the last few days as I would have liked, but my excuse is that my grandparents are here and things are a little off-kilter with them around. I don't know when I'll be putting up updates again (both of my betas are MIA at the moment), but I'm hoping it will be real soon.

Also - Fallout 4 was announced the other day!

'Till next time!



And just like that, holy Jesus Cow-Humping Christ, I’m a licensed-to-drive highschool graduate.

Let me just say that again: Jesus CHRIST, I’m an adult! Eighteen, got my license, got my diploma… Pretty much the only thing I’m missing is a job.

Today, by the time you have read this, I will have officially graduated highschool, and with that I took the first real step into adulthood. There’s really not much else to say - I’ve been driving for a few days now, and I’ve managed not to kill anyone (though I’m a cautious driver, so I’ve pissed quite a few people off), and I’ve still no G-D job, but the former will change with time, and the latter will be fixed before July’s out, or so help me I’ll do something drastic… Like beg.

So, what does this mean?

Well, let me do what I do best and tell a story.

Back in 2006/2007, round-faced and innocent as I was, I was still figuring out WTF this thing called the ‘internet’ was. During this journey of discovery, I discovered an online artist known now by the moniker ‘ScootWHOOKOS’. Seriously, just look up ‘WHOOKOS’ and you’ll find him. This was back when literally all I had was freetime (and definitely a lot more innocence than I have now), so when I stumbled onto newgrounds, his base of operations at the time, what I was looking for wasn’t bad animations, rude comedy or porn, nope: I wanted to find Legend of Zelda animations.

Back then and still now I was one of the biggest Zelda fans I know, pretty much everything I did was Zelda, and this guy came out with pretty much exactly what I wanted - Zelda animations.

His (thus far) Magnum Opus was a series (since been rebooted, but I digress) called ‘The Legend of Zelda: Unknown Origins’. By the time I found it, there were three episodes out, and I watched ‘em all in a heartbeat, I was in love.

I started following this guy, because not only did the animations catch my interest, but so too did the style of the animation. Anime!

Now, what does this have to do with… Anything? It’s simple, really, I’ve been following this guy ever since I first found him, and he was the guy who first got me into storytelling.

It started radically different from what I do now, back then all I wanted was to draw comics. I drew, I drew, I drew, superheroes, villains, Legend of Zelda, I drew it all and… Well, I read my old stuff recently, I’ve no idea how it manages to be coherent, but it does tell a story! What story, I can’t tell, but it is a story, and that’s what matters!

During this period, I pretty much found myself, and discovered my passion for creating and entertaining, and after a while, however, I found a different, but still similar passion to the art of comics: Writing.

Around fifth grade, I started working on a project I’m still fleshing out now as a matter of fact. (I’m kind of hoping it’ll be what makes me my million, haha.) And around seventh grade, I began experimenting with the written word as my medium, with the drawn canvas as something to supplement it. I knew well and good that Drawing wasn’t my strong suit - I loved doing it, but that wasn’t where my strengths lie. No, the written word seemed to fit that category.

I wrote whatever hit my fancy. A lot of it was sci-fi/shooter/action/war stuff that was loosely connected to my Big Idea, but nothing really coherent, I was just experimenting at the time, and none of the stories I wrote were anything close to the massive shared universe I’ve got cooking up nowadays. They all contributed, and shreds of those stories can still be found in the Big One I’m making today, but they all still are mere shells compared to the mighty beast that is what I’m crafting right now.

Now, during all of these experiments, I never once stopped enjoying the things that came to me. Scoot’s animations, various books, video games, etcetera. It was around Christmas of 2011 that I, on a whim, bought my first copy of Mass Effect 2. It was during a Christmas sale, and it was up for five bucks, so… Why not? Now, this was before they ported ME1 over to the Playstation, but I didn’t mind - an hour in and I was hooked. I’ve had to have played this damn game series six or seven times now, on average, and that doesn’t count the individual times I’ve played through all of the games - just the times I’ve completed the whole series, now that I’ve got ME1, 2, AND 3 on my shelf.

I got so enamored with the world of Mass Effect that I ended up doing something I’d kind of ridiculed beforehand: I started seeking out fanfiction. Now, by ‘ridiculed’, I say it less in a ‘I hate it and I preached this hate from rooftops’, but more I just found it something of a waste of time, kind of ridiculous. (Obviously not the case anymore, but I digress.)

One of the first stories I found, which has unfortunately died since I’ve read it, was a story on DeviantArt called ‘Nearing the End’. I thought - and still think - the damn thing was beautiful, and it inspired me to keep reading Mass Effect stories on DeviantArt until I discovered FanFiction(dot)net, and I was introduced to the truly wide and expansive world of internet fanfiction.

Eventually I found my way into the Self Insert category, and fell in love all over again. The tales of average joes becoming badass motherfucker motherfuckers just got me all giddy and ready to go lead an army on the inside. So around December of 2012, I thought ‘oh, what the hell! Let’s do it!’ and tried my hand at it.

Thus, Mass Effect: Hearing the Call was born.

Now, Jesus, this story. I read it now and am rather embarrassed at how bad I was back then, compared to now. (But make no mistake - I still think I’m bad, I just think I’m a bit less so.) But I like what I did with it, I just wrote what I wanted. I wanted big action, I wanted supersoldiers, I wanted unexplainable space-magic superpowers, I wanted so many characters from every game I was into at the time, I just wrote what I thought was cool.

Ignoring how many corners I’ve written myself into with that story, I still stand by every word, and no matter how embarrassed it may make me every now and again, I do love the damn thing to death. (And despite what some readers may think, I AM working on the sequel. I’m experimenting with something else, but that’s an update on its own.)

Spelling errors, telling not showing, tense shifts, the G-D first person present point of view, telling not showing, lack of environmental detail, Gary Stu, meta meta meta, every mistake I could make, I did with this one, but I learned from it, and for reasons I still can’t fathom, people loved it!

I got constructive criticism, and I only got better.

So, about a month after I publish that story, I’m making my first big strides towards improving my craft, and I’m simultaneously making my first small steps towards making my Big One less of a big one and more of a shared universe, ala Marvel/DC Comics. But I didn’t want to just thrust myself into the published world without any kind of experience, so I thought to myself, how could I test the waters? Then it hit me - I had something of an audience, why not get them to help me?

So I thought for a while, weighed my strengths, tossed out my weaknesses, and asked myself what I wanted to test first, and I decided that I wanted to test my OC-Canon Humanity.

Unfortunately, a great deal of the things that makes my Human race my Human race were things I didn’t yet want hitting the internet, so I stripped away so much that I’d unintentionally made a new canon entirely… That represented heavily one that already existed. Many of the fantasy elements from my stories were removed entirely, my universe is less ‘Halo’ and more ‘Tame WH40K’, but I took it all away, and though I didn’t know it at the time, that ended up making my Humans something of a carbon copy of Halo’s UNSC. Completely unintentionally, mind you, but still, it happened on my watch, and I’m rather ashamed and embarrassed about it.

But I pushed on, and gave my Humanity a reason to exist within the Mass Effect universe, with but a simple question: What if the Prothean Ruins didn’t have anything in ‘em? What would happen?

Well, Mass Effect: The First War happened, Jesus Christ, did it happen.

Somehow I’d made a story that wholly eclipsed HtC (which, at the time, was my most successful venture.) in popularity, so obviously I kept going with what I was doing.

I got far more feedback from that story than I got from HtC, all of it I learned from; hell, even now, sometimes I go back and read every single one of the reviews to make sure I’ve learned from ‘em.

When The First War hit it big, I got a lot of confidence in what I was doing, you’ve all no idea how much that helped me get over my blocks. Hell, as of this writing, it’s sitting high and proud at number two, overall, in the favorites section for the Mass Effect category on this website. (As a matter of fact, for all stories tagged ‘OC’, all of my stories are on the first page!) And I got confident enough to keep going, to experiment more.

Things like Christopher McGraw, his as-of-yet-unnamed adversary, John S2-15, the Saltorians, The Hopeless War in its entirety, and MORE yet to be revealed, all of those things were more and more peeks and rips from my universe. I’m using Fanfiction(dot)net as a testing grounds for my concepts, and so far, the test has been a resounding success. Even moreso if you consider how much I’ve improved over the years.

I mean, hell, The First War is, as of this writing, sitting high at THREE QUARTERS, OF A MILLION VIEWS! 750,000!!! Seven hundred and fifty thousand people have come to read my story!

To put that into perspective, if TFW were a book on Amazon, and every view counted as a copy sold, and I sold every copy for just $2, I’d have 1.5 million dollars in a bank account somewhere, wondering how it got there. That idea baffles me, but it also inspires me - as I’ve said so many times you’re all probably annoyed by it now.

So, by now you’re probably wondering: Well, that’s all fine and dandy… But what does this mean?! I want TSW, I want THW, damn it, Burg, where’s my McGraw? My totally-not-a-Halo-rip?! My Humanity-lost-a-war-story?!

Well, that’s coming up right now. What all of this means is that I have the confidence to invest more in the written word. Obviously my priority is my own life - getting a job, setting myself up, etc. - but this gift I seem to have, my passion for writing, color me crazy but I think that’s going to play into my life, somehow, someway, someday. And the confidence to try and invest in this passion, to try and tell the world my stories, came from all of you reading, following, favoriting, and reviewing my stories. Like I said before, you’ve no idea how much you’ve all helped.

So I’m making the decision right now, outside of getting a job and finding a way to support myself, I’m going to invest as much free time as I can safely into the written word. That means TSW, THW, even AtC are all going to be getting a lot more attention in the coming weeks.

My plan, therefor, is as follows* so those of you skipping through, looking for the gameplan, here’s what you want to read:

Priority one goes to TSW (which is going to undergo a rebranding once its hiatus runs up, it won’t be ‘The Saltorian War’ any longer, as I’ve decided that falsely advertises what it is and what it hopes to accomplish.) As the Mass Effect: WarVerse is my most successful written venture to date, that obviously will be getting the most of my time. My goal is to get somewhere from fifteen to twenty chapters stockpiled and waiting to release, that way I can release them weekly, get you all the whole story faster, and you can see the method to my madness.

Priority Two goes to The Hopeless War’s second (final) half. I’ve got a general outline for what I want done and how I want it to get done, all I really need to do is find the words to get it done. Like TSW, I’m hoping to get chapters stockpiled (or, god willing, half to three quarters of the arc done), so I can release it weekly and get you all the story faster. And trust me when I say you all are going to like it, I’ve gotten the ending all planned out and outlined, and - if you’ll allow me a just a little self-indulgence - it’s fucking beautiful.

Priority Three goes to Answering the Call. Now, I’ve been getting a lot of emails as of late, wondering what the deal is with that series. Allow me to clear the air by saying, as of right now, I have no plans of cancelling it… But that may very well change, and it isn’t a decision I’ll make lightly. It all boils down to the fact that I’ll end up just telling a story that’s already been told before - the story of Shepard, just with “my” sorry ass riding shotgun. I don’t really want to do that, but with the way I’ve written the story thus far, that’s the only real thing I can do. I’m experimenting with many options - one of which is a wholesale reboot - to try and make the story what I want it to be, but outside of the promise that I am working on it, I can’t promise anything.

Priority four goes to what I’m calling the ‘Terra’s Sol’ trilogy. If you follow my DeviantArt, you know the saga, trials, and tribulations I’ve had with nailing a plot down for this damn story, but I’ve actually done it now, and I’ve started outlining the first of the three on-paper. Terra’s Sol will serve as the first (albeit slightly filtered) look at my universe, both as a proving grounds for my ideas and as a way to improve everything as best I can before I make the final leap to a full release. With this series, you’ll be seeing, perhaps not directly, given when/where it’s going to be set, but still, you will be seeing all the results of all of your critiques and comments on The Warerse’s stories. Terra’s Sol will provide the first look at the universe that contains the books and stories I’d like to get published one day, so obviously you’ll see a lot of work get put in to it. What I’m thinking of doing with Terra’s Sol is first publishing it sequentially on websites like DeviantArt and other writing websites (a friend suggested WattPad and some other websites I could try, and I’ve always got FictionPress), and after each story in the trilogy is finished, I’ll wrap them all up in a pretty pink polka-dotted bow, do revisions and edits, and then post them - for free - on the Amazon Kindle-store. Baby steps, folks, XD

Finally, Priority Five goes towards Monetization. Not of my fanfictions - god no, that’s so many different kinds of illegal it makes my head spin - but just… In general. Several people have pointed me to places like Patreon and Kickstarter as a way to kickstart (ba-dum-tss) my forray into the literary world, and I’ve started looking into the logistics of trying something like that, but I’m going to do my research first, then consult with some trusted confidants to get their opinions, and then ask all of you what your opinion on it would be, before I even consider dedicating to something like that. Because, while making some money off of my writing would help go a loooooooong way in boosting confidence and helping me get some kind of income stream, among other equally important things, I will not do it if you all think it would be a bad idea. I’d rather save the money-making part for my actual published works if you all think it a better route to take. And, while this doesn’t even need to be said, really, if I go down this path, it’ll be absolutely voluntary for all of you - not a one of you will be obligated to donate any of your hard-earned money towards myself and the furthering of my craft. It’ll be a strictly optional, voluntary decision. I’ll go into far more detail about this road if I end up making the decision to invest in it; who knows? I might end up making some kind of ‘Hello, everyone, my name is ProfFartBurger!’ greetings and salutations video to set the tone. You all might finally get to see the ugly mug and hear the godawful voice that spawned Chris McGraw, XD

Well, that’s it, folks. (Or, should I say, ‘that’s all, folks!’...? No? Anyone? Come on, I’ve been waiting to make that joke for years… Okay…) Not much else to say, other than the obvious:

Regardless what the future brings, thank you for all you all have done for me. Whether or not you realize it, each and every single one of you have had a profound impact on my life and my development. I’m still a snide, nervous wreck, but I’m a snide, nervous wreck who seems to have a marketable skill!

Once again, thank you. I can’t say it enough - THANK YOU!

Yes, you, right there. The one thinking ‘Oh, I know he’s not talking about me’ - yes I’m talking about you! I see you right now! Looking all incredulous, I even know what you’re thinking - this joke’s going on too long, is he seriously doing this - YES I’M SERIOUSLY DOING THIS!

Did you expect any different?

- ‘Till next time, folks!


(“I’m not stupid, I’m smart from the other direction!” - The FartBurger Motto.)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A World full of Monsters by Fahad09 reviews
When I was first reincarnated I did the very first thing any self-respecting man in my place would do. Check to see if I still had my balls. I did. The next thing I did was try to get my hands on some power. True Power. I chose the Rinnegan. And if I had to kill a few people along the way to get it, well, there was a war going on. No one will notice an extra body or two turning up.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 90,651 - Reviews: 821 - Favs: 1,342 - Follows: 1,343 - Updated: 7/25 - Published: 3/18 - Naruto U., OC
Loyalty by A True Radical Dreamer reviews
Blind loyalty is simple. The problem only begins when the world makes you open your eyes. Sakura-centric, AU, pre-timeskip.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 156,707 - Reviews: 642 - Favs: 782 - Follows: 903 - Updated: 7/22 - Published: 8/19/2009 - Sakura H.
Misplaced by Deus Swiftblade reviews
When the seal broke and he opened his eyes, he had hoped to see his friends standing around him, welcoming him back to life. But now he's in a different time and all of his friends have long since passed away. Now the only thing he can do is put what he has been trained to be to good use and serve the galaxy from the shadows.
Crossover - Naruto & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 33 - Words: 335,189 - Reviews: 1219 - Favs: 1,965 - Follows: 2,121 - Updated: 7/22 - Published: 8/25/2013 - Naruto U.
The Last Spartan by DinoJake reviews
An AU fic in which the Halo and ME universes share the same galaxy. After a well deserved rest in Cryo-Sleep, Master Chief finally a whole new galaxy.
Crossover - Halo & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 50 - Words: 457,589 - Reviews: 3232 - Favs: 2,730 - Follows: 2,773 - Updated: 7/21 - Published: 5/2/2010 - Master Chief/John-117
InFAMOUS Vampire by Wraith002 reviews
Cole wasn't the only Macgrath to get powers after the Ray Sphere blast. Now his brother Michael is also preparing to fight the Beast when it comes. But when a surprise invitation offers the young Conduit not only a chance to learn, but also to improve his skills how could he refuse? However, his new school could prove to be just as dangerous as the city that made him what he is.
Crossover - Rosario + Vampire & inFAMOUS - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 178,018 - Reviews: 322 - Favs: 276 - Follows: 256 - Updated: 6/10 - Published: 11/4/2013 - [Moka A., Kurumu K., Mizore S., OC]
Massive Shock 2: Infinite Mass by Mockingbird79 reviews
In late 2181, I woke up on the Citadel, in another Universe. Of course, that's not so strange, considering I'd just spent 6 years in Rapture. But now, one year later, it's time for Shepard, Saren, the Reapers... Mass Effect. The epic continuation of the Massive Shock Self Insert Series. Cover by Skyline19.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 24 - Words: 171,254 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 207 - Follows: 255 - Updated: 6/1 - Published: 12/20/2012
Dark Skies by CentuariAlpha reviews
Book 1 of 3. As ancient powers and enigmatic figures make their move, the stars will darken and the heavens will tremble as a scarred and battered humanity still reeling from the Combine occupation encounters the rest of the civilized galaxy.
Crossover - Half-Life & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 46,220 - Reviews: 317 - Favs: 385 - Follows: 482 - Updated: 5/15 - Published: 2/22/2014
Mass Effect: Records of an Irken Defective by KiwiDayDreams reviews
An Irken stasis pod is discovered on Earth and Shepard finds herself saddled with the megalomanic Irken, Zim. Things become more complicated when they discover Zim's home planet has been reaped during Zim's stint on Earth. Set post ME2/IZ end.
Crossover - Invader Zim & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 18 - Words: 77,574 - Reviews: 216 - Favs: 362 - Follows: 346 - Updated: 5/6 - Published: 6/10/2010
Lost in the Echo by Exar Kun IV reviews
My life was nothing great, but it was mine. Unit till it was taken from me. How does one find the will to carry on. I don't know, but I'm not the type to quit. I must find something to call my own once again. Maybe I will find out why I'm here, and why I'm framed for murders that i did not commit. The question is will i care when the Reapers come to kill everyone? (Rated M. L/AC/V)
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 23 - Words: 214,738 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 138 - Updated: 5/5 - Published: 12/19/2012 - Miranda L., Shepard (F), OC
What Doesn't Kill You by Zbluez reviews
...Oh wait, it did. Semi-SI.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 30 - Words: 110,365 - Reviews: 1638 - Favs: 2,575 - Follows: 3,023 - Updated: 3/24 - Published: 4/12/2014 - Lee R., Neji H., OC
Q Effect by BoredZero reviews
Message from the Crew: So...the Author decided that he screwed up the story because he lost the plot too many times, and instead of trying to salvage the story, he's hitting the reset button. Joy. See if we turn up in the next story. Who does this guy think he is, toying with the fate of an entire galaxy like that? (A/N: Wrote self into corner. Revamping for less suck.)
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 100,451 - Reviews: 262 - Favs: 359 - Follows: 423 - Updated: 2/27 - Published: 12/3/2013 - Shepard (F), Miranda L., Shepard (M), OC - Complete
Lost Legacy by Andrithir reviews
There are stories about them, myths and legends of once majestic species overseeing the galaxy and exploring into the space that lay beyond. There were stories about them, tales of faded past. Humanity's missing link. (Rewrite Chapters 1 to 3 now posted) COMPLETED. Rewrites are on hiatus.
Crossover - Halo & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 67 - Words: 328,897 - Reviews: 1587 - Favs: 1,100 - Follows: 1,099 - Updated: 2/20 - Published: 10/8/2011 - Master Chief/John-117, Shepard (F) - Complete
Sheogorath's Curse by bale626 reviews
S/I; When the Daedric prince of madness gets bored, he branches out from Tamriel, and looks for ways to make life fun... for him, anyways. Unfortunately for those involved, his fun usually ends in hell on earth for everyone else.
Elder Scroll series - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,424 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 2/3 - Published: 4/5/2013 - Dragonborn/Dovahkiin, OC
Dirge Without Music by Arashi Leonhart reviews
Rest in peace, Monty Oum. Ruby is not resigned. More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.
RWBY - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,174 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 7 - Published: 2/2 - Ruby Rose, Yang Xiao Long - Complete
Antiquated Love by Detective-Mason reviews
When everything is taken away, how can you have a second chance? This chronicles the story of a SSV Normandy soldier that rejoins after losing everything precious to him . Along the way he earns his keep on the SR2, puts life and limb on the line to stop the Collectors, and finds salvation in the form of a lovely thief. Contains adult and mature themes.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 132,027 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 211 - Follows: 192 - Updated: 1/30 - Published: 9/17/2012 - Kasumi G., OC - Complete
Hero, I am Not by Soleneus reviews
The first time I ever tried to be a hero, I got shot in the head. The next time I woke, the first thought that crossed my mind, after 'Why am I waking up' was 'Why are those women blue' A self-insert that's different from my usual fare. Pairings are a toss-up.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 46 - Words: 173,953 - Reviews: 819 - Favs: 893 - Follows: 823 - Updated: 1/17 - Published: 1/14/2014 - Shepard (F), Miranda L., T. Vasir, OC - Complete
Mass Effect: inFamous The Second Coming by Follower38 reviews
In a single stroke, Cole ended both the Beast, and the Conduits, and finally had a chance at rest. But fate has other plans. Thrust into an unknown future, where his past comes back in a way he never expected, and new faces rise from the old, with a familiar enemy fighting for a familiar cause, will he find the strength to stay the course?
Crossover - Mass Effect & inFAMOUS - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,429 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 192 - Updated: 12/27/2014 - Published: 5/17/2013 - Shepard (F), Cole MacGrath
Dawn's Sage by Panory Bro reviews
The toads raise Naruto to replace Minato as their summoner. Trained as a sage, Naruto will strike out to find his fellow jinchuriki. Just not in the way you would expect.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 27 - Words: 176,148 - Reviews: 439 - Favs: 1,108 - Follows: 926 - Updated: 10/14/2014 - Published: 9/7/2013 - Naruto U., Akatsuki - Complete
The Wildcard by Matalvis reviews
In Plague's final moments, he flips the Enclave the bird, only to then end up in the Mass Effect univers. Mean while TIM makes Shepherd a new dossier of a man using antique weapons while giving Omegas lowlives a hard time.
Crossover - Fallout & Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 178,731 - Reviews: 388 - Favs: 579 - Follows: 642 - Updated: 10/1/2014 - Published: 4/4/2011 - Lone Wanderer, Kasumi G.
Déjà vu no Jutsu by Vixen Tail reviews
Take one dead, thirty year old career soldier, stick in the body of a child during the Second Great Shinobi War. Add a mini-Namikaze Minato, ninjas, chakra, tailed beasts, and shake well. Is it any wonder she thought she was insane? Second/Third Great Ninja War era SI AU.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 25 - Words: 572,601 - Reviews: 1989 - Favs: 2,988 - Follows: 1,889 - Updated: 9/16/2014 - Published: 5/2/2013 - [Minato N., Kushina U.] [Shikaku N., OC] - Complete
Ascension by Ulstem reviews
The battle at the Department of Mysteries went differently for Harry. Trapped in a new time and being the last wizard alive, Harry must find a way home while evading enemies far darker than he has ever faced before.- Pre-ME1 to Pre-ME2.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 34 - Words: 141,467 - Reviews: 1226 - Favs: 2,115 - Follows: 2,123 - Updated: 9/4/2014 - Published: 1/8/2014 - Harry P., Shepard (F) - Complete
Lifetime of War by DangerDroid reviews
We watched humanity for centuries. We tried to tame them. Eventually we left their world. For centuries we thought them dead, suddenly we found their Republic. It was time to make second contact.
Mass Effect - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 15 - Words: 6,470 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 174 - Updated: 7/27/2014 - Published: 6/30/2014
Sage by Digitize27 reviews
When Naruto is given a gift considered legendary even in a world where walking on water is a daily occurrence for some, will it lead him on a path towards peace or will the consequences of said gift leave a hole in his heart too large to fill?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 92 - Words: 510,604 - Reviews: 6667 - Favs: 5,695 - Follows: 4,576 - Updated: 4/10/2014 - Published: 7/13/2013 - Naruto U., Fū, OC - Complete
The Princess and the Dragon by SonRyu reviews
In a hopeless battle against Apokolips, all hope is lost until a mysterious spikey haired warrior enters the fray. Diana had never met a warrior of such innocence and dedication, such hope. Son Goku has arrived in the DC Universe, and nothing will ever be the same.
Crossover - Dragon Ball Z & Justice League - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 67,640 - Reviews: 711 - Favs: 810 - Follows: 622 - Updated: 4/1/2014 - Published: 8/29/2012 - Goku, Diana of Themyscira/Wonder Woman - Complete
Rise Of The Phoenix by bale626 reviews
In a twisted experiment gone right, Ethan Barrow finds himself thrust into a world not his own, and must find a way not only to survive, but reclaim his lost memories. S/I x FemShep *REVIVED*
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 49,541 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 277 - Updated: 3/27/2014 - Published: 9/20/2012 - Shepard (F), U. Wrex, Shadow Broker
Fortitude by Ingie reviews
Nearly fifteen years after Ocarina of Time, Link and Zelda struggle to preserve political peace after their controversial marriage. But when disaster strikes, Zelda finds herself facing far more than political turmoil...
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 51 - Words: 287,049 - Reviews: 1872 - Favs: 831 - Follows: 518 - Updated: 3/22/2014 - Published: 5/21/2007 - Link, Zelda - Complete
Control That Which You Cannot Destroy by jay8008 reviews
Cerberus' goal was simple in concept: resurrect Shepard to be precisely the same. They failed. Pushing forward, the result was a powerful, untested cybernetic soldier who doubts his own humanity. Now, he will need to lean on his new crew of unknowns, old friends, a past love, and a new one even more fragile than he. [Many thanks to my fellow authors 'JacksAreWild' and 'Bebus']
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 53 - Words: 226,627 - Reviews: 521 - Favs: 300 - Follows: 301 - Updated: 2/25/2014 - Published: 4/20/2012 - Liara T'Soni, Jack, Shepard (M)
Blood of our Children by Necronicus reviews
First Contact is made with a much younger Humanity, yet it isn't a pleasant one. A death sentence upon Humanity, and the destruction of their home-world But the Council will known, how adaptable and merciless Humanity can be, when the blood starts to flow...ENDED - Taken up by ShokAndAwe - /s/10636239/1/Bloody-Justice
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,404 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 282 - Follows: 326 - Updated: 2/23/2014 - Published: 8/31/2013 - Shepard (F), Garrus V. - Complete
The Day the Arms Closed by thesarge400 reviews
Humanity, as a whole, has been deemed 'too violent' as a species to be permitted within the Citadel and Council-controlled space. Follow those who dwell within as civil uprisings and chaos spread across a once-peaceful and grand Citadel.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 37,072 - Reviews: 219 - Favs: 416 - Follows: 487 - Updated: 12/29/2013 - Published: 6/21/2011
Emissary by allandavisjr reviews
Thirty years after the events of The Day The Earth Stood Still (the Keanu Reeves remake, that is), Earth sends an ambassador to the galactic council...
The Day The Earth Stood Still - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,482 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/11/2013 - Complete
Alternate Humanity: The Lost Sol by Orez Lanrete reviews
Based on the Vsauce youtube video "What if the Sun Disappeared?" This is what happens when the very thing that gives the Sol system its name disappears from Earth. Also a crossover with "Lost Planet" and the film, "The Core".
Crossover - Mass Effect & Lost Planet - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,061 - Reviews: 216 - Favs: 444 - Follows: 518 - Published: 11/16/2013
Halo: New Horizons by creamofwheat2311 reviews
The year is 2559, and the UNSC has discovered a large anomaly on the edge of the galactic rim. What it turns out to be has the potential to change history, but maybe not in the way the UNSC intended. Meanwhile, with the first Death Star destroyed, the Rebel Alliance is desperately trying to overthrow the Empire, but it will take the help of new allies to liberate the galaxy. AU.
Crossover - Star Wars & Halo - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 155,059 - Reviews: 829 - Favs: 784 - Follows: 869 - Updated: 10/27/2013 - Published: 11/1/2012 - Luke S., G. Marek/Starkiller, T. Lasky
Captain Price (Call of Duty) vs Garrus Vakarian (Mass Effect) by thisstorywillsuck reviews
When Captain MacMillan and Price are sent to assassinate Imran Zakhaev, a mysterious ship crashes in Chernobyl. Price soon finds himself in a sniper duel with the owner of the ship, Garrus Vakarian.
Crossover - Call of Duty & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,544 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/25/2013 - Cpt. John Price, MacMillan, Garrus V. - Complete
The Matrix Effect by unity9 reviews
Imagine what if the Human/Machine war ended with a truce and humans merged with the machines only to find a Mass Relay many years later. Read as humans explore this relay and find out where this rabbit hole will take them.
Crossover - Matrix & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 41 - Words: 150,280 - Reviews: 309 - Favs: 445 - Follows: 340 - Updated: 8/28/2013 - Published: 5/29/2012 - Neo, Shepard (M) - Complete
Cause and Mass Effect by claihm solais reviews
Mass Effect is a great game. A fun game. But the fun and games stop when it all becomes real...when I find myself on the Citadel, with the terrible knowledge of what's coming. Can one person really make a difference? I'm sure as hell going to try, because the Reapers aren't taking over this galaxy on my watch.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 44 - Words: 281,689 - Reviews: 1029 - Favs: 1,055 - Follows: 1,165 - Updated: 8/24/2013 - Published: 7/5/2012 - Shepard (F), Miranda L.
Mass Effect: Spade by Grimlock Ebonheart reviews
Join Adrian Dawn as he is transported from our world to the Mass Effect world. Trained to be an assassin/bounty hunter, he must use his skills to help Commander Eden Shepard and her crew fight Saren and the Geth. However, he has demons of his own. Can Shepard save him? Or will he be taken before the war is over? SI/OC, with some AU. Rated T but may change. Possibly OCXFemShep.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 24 - Words: 117,243 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 244 - Follows: 321 - Updated: 8/22/2013 - Published: 11/15/2012 - Shepard (F)
The Prodigal by Coilerfan35 reviews
Miranda Lawson was supposed to be the image of perfection, but to what extent of torture did she have to go through to prove her own humanity? A story of imperfect perfection, starting from the beginning. Future Miri/Sheploo
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 86,161 - Reviews: 207 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 208 - Updated: 8/10/2013 - Published: 4/6/2012 - Miranda L., Shepard (M)
Time Trax of the DEAD by Draco38 reviews
Takashi stood on a hill, his dead lover at his feet, her sword in his hand. He was awaiting the nuclear fire that would end it all. As it washes across him, he blanks out...but why is there a alarm clock buzzing in his head? A story for a challenge sent to me by VA842867. AU, all characters plus a few extras. Updated for content, spelling and word usage 1/3/14.
Highschool of the Dead - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 32 - Words: 148,732 - Reviews: 753 - Favs: 810 - Follows: 450 - Updated: 6/30/2013 - Published: 1/27/2013 - Complete
Massed Up by DelVarO reviews
When I woke up I expected it to be a regular, mundane and boring day. What I definitely did NOT expect was me ending up on the Citadel, which happens to be in a totally different universe. God I hate thursdays.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 51 - Words: 276,504 - Reviews: 566 - Favs: 524 - Follows: 432 - Updated: 6/22/2013 - Published: 2/17/2012 - Shepard (F) - Complete
The Caged Bird's Song by redlettergirl reviews
There's always a bird, there's always a cage-Songbird's life, in reverse.
BioShock - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,301 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/16/2013 - Booker D., Songbird - Complete
Crysis Effect by DemonFireX reviews
To some, Death is an End. To others, Death is a new beginning. Alex Drake will learn that his death will lead to a new purpose. Armed with a powerful suit, his combat skills and his knowledge of the universe he finds himself in, he will strive to save the innocent. But will this soldier gain more than success in his mission? OC/FShep
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 46 - Words: 213,270 - Reviews: 703 - Favs: 741 - Follows: 486 - Updated: 6/3/2013 - Published: 3/14/2013 - Shepard (F) - Complete
Mass Effect: ODST by Helljumper 1337 reviews
A hero need not speak. When he is gone, the world will speak for him. Follow Rookie the young helljumper as he attempts to piece together to how did he ended on this messed up place...
Crossover - Halo & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 17 - Words: 59,265 - Reviews: 433 - Favs: 486 - Follows: 549 - Updated: 3/17/2013 - Published: 12/12/2010 - Rookie, Shepard (F)
Displaced Hero by Captiosus reviews
In a desperate attempt to save his life, after narrowly destroying an alien incursion, Tony Stark is forced to use untested technology... placing his body in stasis until a cure can be found. Stark wakes far into the future finding a vastly different world... one which he will change forever. Inspired by DN7's Oneshot. Movie Ironman, Femshep, Stark/Pepper (maybe)
Crossover - Ironman & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 29,824 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 445 - Follows: 647 - Updated: 3/16/2013 - Published: 11/12/2012 - A. E. Stark/Tony, Shepard (F)
The Fourth Option by commandocucumber reviews
Post ME3. Shep/Miri & a little rebuilding. Cover art by Skllhrt. Check out his profile please! :)
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 32 - Words: 103,996 - Reviews: 665 - Favs: 439 - Follows: 342 - Updated: 2/12/2013 - Published: 3/10/2012 - Shepard (M), Miranda L. - Complete
Salvation: A Half Life Mass Effect Crossover Story by Jesse De La Rosa reviews
After Gordon Freeman is allegedly killed by the Combine, Earth enters a new technological Golden Age. Until 179 years later, when galactic civilization is threatened once more. A threat that only Earth's two greatest heroes can stop.
Crossover - Half-Life & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 46 - Words: 243,378 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 188 - Follows: 126 - Updated: 12/13/2012 - Published: 3/7/2011
He Who Fights Monsters by hawker-748 reviews
Tsukune Aono. An ordinary human in a dangerous place. When your life's on the line, there's nothing that you won't do to survive.
Rosario + Vampire - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 93,163 - Reviews: 1686 - Favs: 2,659 - Follows: 1,488 - Updated: 12/6/2012 - Published: 4/26/2011 - Tsukune A. - Complete
Worldwar: War of Equals by Drgyen reviews
In 1942, the alien known as the "Race" arrived in Earth's orbit and invaded the planet in the midst of World War II. The events that occurred happened in another universe. But what if fate allow the Race to wait another 70 years to their invasion plan...
Worldwar series - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 7 - Words: 22,907 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 135 - Updated: 11/21/2012 - Published: 9/8/2012
Bright as Night by Allendra reviews
Zelink AU - Unfinished business in the past comes to haunt the present, a princess trains to be a Sheikah in the Rebellion, and Link finds himself caught in a struggle amongst agents of evil - each wanting to use him for their own purposes. A tale of forgiveness, redemption, love, and inner darkness that proves the absence of war is not the same as peace. Strongly rated T.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 254,140 - Reviews: 694 - Favs: 263 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 11/4/2012 - Published: 12/29/2010 - Link, Zelda - Complete
Into the Fire by bale626 reviews
S/I; what happens when myself and other fellow FF authors are flung into the world of Mass Effect and beyond. - *Discontinued*
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 34 - Words: 186,556 - Reviews: 568 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 208 - Updated: 9/18/2012 - Published: 4/15/2011 - Shepard (F) - Complete
Mass Effect: Massive Shock by Mockingbird79 reviews
Bad luck seems to follow me wherever I go. I've been pulled from universe to universe, forced to put skills I didn't know I had to the test. But now I'm in Mass Effect and I have a chance to make some good luck for myself. I have a year to prepare for the events of Mass Effect. Self Insert.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 37 - Words: 211,057 - Reviews: 270 - Favs: 245 - Follows: 186 - Updated: 9/4/2012 - Published: 12/20/2011 - Complete
Mass Effect New Origins V2 by erttheking reviews
On the dawn of the 27th century, the UNSC discovers a Mass Relay, and unlock its power. What follows not only includes making contact with new species and making new friends, but making new enemies as well, and the entire galaxy will shake.
Crossover - Halo & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 109 - Words: 442,687 - Reviews: 2354 - Favs: 1,085 - Follows: 733 - Updated: 6/9/2012 - Published: 10/5/2010 - Shepard (F) - Complete
The Heir to the Title of Big Boss by VFSNAKE reviews
Big Boss dies at the end of MSG4. After reconnecting with The Boss, he is called upon to train another to be his successor, but this time...the world he's in is not the one he knows, and neither is the student he is to train with the help of a few others.
Crossover - Metal Gear & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 84,026 - Reviews: 307 - Favs: 811 - Follows: 460 - Updated: 5/31/2012 - Published: 11/26/2010 - Naruto U. - Complete
Things Whispered In The Dark by Stephensmat reviews
She was very much like a wild animal. He had to let her come to him. Hard T, for heavy topics, but nothing explicit. Paragon Male Shepard/Jack fic. Jack had the most potential in the game. Now includes ME3, so Spoiler alert.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 74,128 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 177 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 3/17/2012 - Published: 3/24/2011 - Jack, Shepard (M) - Complete
OLD: Mass Affect by CuHnadian reviews
Our lives have gone from teens quietly living in BC Canada, to detectives fighting crime on Mass Effects Citadel. Somebody out there is responsible for this and we will find him, hopefully. Self inserts, Car Chases, Explosions and...Zombies?
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Crime - Chapters: 22 - Words: 71,207 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 3/14/2012 - Published: 10/28/2011 - Garrus V., Lia'Vael - Complete
Cold Bronze by Jonas Grant reviews
A Mora of Lacedaemonian warriors -Spartans- find themselves within Skyrim, as part of a Dwemer machination, and decide to rebuild Sparta. Doesn't sit well with pretty much everyone, but they're not in the business of making friends, never were.
Elder Scroll series - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,293 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 13 - Published: 3/11/2012
Hit List by zestycrouton reviews
AU. It all started as a typical day at Ordon High, until a sudden school shooting turns the life of Link Hero upside down. Now, surrounded by enemies, can Link save his friends and escape the school alive?
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 190,888 - Reviews: 402 - Favs: 420 - Follows: 164 - Updated: 2/12/2012 - Published: 3/25/2007 - Link, Zelda - Complete
Farewell Tour by Bright Cold Day reviews
Ninety years after the Reaper War, John Shepard visits old friends one last time.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,662 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 2/11/2012 - Published: 1/11/2012 - Shepard (M) - Complete
Parallel Realities by InHarmsWay reviews
Shepard is a being from a parallel universe who came to the Mass Effect Galaxy to bring Cerberus to justice after the crimes they committed against his galaxy, only to find a greater threat to not just ME's Galaxy but his own. ME1-3. AU.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 287,688 - Reviews: 367 - Favs: 361 - Follows: 201 - Updated: 1/10/2012 - Published: 10/14/2010 - Shepard (M), Tali'Zorah - Complete
Renegade Reinterpretations by College Fool reviews
A species without Paragons is one with a sad and terrible history. Humanity enters a very different First Contact War, and Mass Effect as you know it will change. Warning: this fic may make you rage and wish genocidal retributions against aliens.
Mass Effect - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 70 - Words: 95,544 - Reviews: 834 - Favs: 708 - Follows: 402 - Updated: 9/25/2011 - Published: 7/11/2011
Mass Effect 2: Dark Rendition by Mothbanquet reviews
Set in ME2, this is the story of a bitter, scarred Shepard coming to terms with the depression that has followed the loss of his beloved Normandy. Salvation, however, comes in many forms, and his so happens to take the shape of a certain quarian machinist...
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 32 - Words: 117,731 - Reviews: 216 - Favs: 208 - Follows: 180 - Updated: 7/14/2011 - Published: 2/13/2010 - Shepard (M), Tali'Zorah - Complete
From Harvest to the Ark by TheAmateur reviews
The war lasted nearly thirty years. Only the best of the best had what it took to survive every one of them. That...or maybe it was just luck.
Halo - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 101 - Words: 408,624 - Reviews: 702 - Favs: 275 - Follows: 153 - Updated: 7/3/2011 - Published: 5/17/2010 - A. J. Johnson - Complete
Fallout 3: Modus Operandi by commandocucumber reviews
A supermutant ambush leaves Sentinel Sarah Lyons stranded in the middle of the Capital Wasteland with no supplies of any kind, and only one way home: Work alongside the enigmatic Lone Wanderer, who has his own agenda.
Fallout - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 68,171 - Reviews: 346 - Favs: 583 - Follows: 235 - Updated: 6/21/2011 - Published: 4/20/2011 - Sarah Lyons, Lone Wanderer - Complete
Mass Effect: A new past by Bombsquad reviews
A different history to Mass Effect in which Human technology develops along different lines than anything the Citadel Alternative History of Mass Effect.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 137,294 - Reviews: 632 - Favs: 1,175 - Follows: 617 - Updated: 5/18/2011 - Published: 12/11/2010 - Complete
The Gulag by Arc Trader reviews
ME done Modern Warfare style. Alternate beginning to ME3. As the Reapers invade the galaxy, the crew of the Normandy vows to save their leader from batarian hands. "Commander Shepard is the piece of meat the Reapers want. So let's cut him loose."
Crossover - Call of Duty & Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,194 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/15/2011 - Complete
Not a Game Anymore by Demon Spartan reviews
When a teen is taken from his hellish life and thrown into the Mass Effect universe, he'll need to aquire new skills along with his knowledge of the game to stay alive. Problem is...its no longer a game. Shep/Tali OC/Jack
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 38 - Words: 81,882 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 148 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 8/9/2010 - Published: 7/11/2010 - Complete
Naruto Hatake by Agent-G reviews
AU. What if Naruto had been raised by Kakashi his entire life and how would raising Naruto change Kakashi's life as well? NarutoHinata, KakashiAnko later on.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 63 - Words: 315,249 - Reviews: 3391 - Favs: 4,702 - Follows: 2,499 - Updated: 1/31/2010 - Published: 9/25/2007 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
My Snow Girl by lord of the land of fire reviews
What if Moka never ran into Tsukune on her bike? What would happen if he found another reason to stay at Youkai Academy? Tsu Miz
Rosario + Vampire - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 48 - Words: 109,172 - Reviews: 1578 - Favs: 1,315 - Follows: 512 - Updated: 3/22/2009 - Published: 10/8/2008 - Tsukune A., Mizore S. - Complete
Through Stitches by firefly reviews
A ripped shirt. That's all Gaara communicated with, sending one every time his siblings attempted conversation.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,758 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 649 - Follows: 69 - Published: 2/26/2006 - Kankuro, Temari - Complete
Just a Face On a Train by katheryne reviews
After rescuing a train from Doc Ock's attack, Peter Parker found himself unmasked and indebted to those he had just saved. 4 months later, a train passenger again crosses paths with the young hero. Based on events from SpiderMan 2.
Spider-Man - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,504 - Reviews: 530 - Favs: 2,401 - Follows: 317 - Updated: 3/24/2005 - Published: 10/13/2004 - Complete
The Middle by DoraMouse reviews
An attempt to revolutionize Mr. Satans POV by taking it seriously. One-shot. Completed.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,344 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 159 - Follows: 20 - Published: 12/23/2004 - Hercule - Complete
To Be A Hero by Engar reviews
Here's a shot at looking through the eyes of the much-maligned Hercule Satan just before the Cell Games. Please, read and review.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 700 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 12 - Published: 6/30/2004
Why Wasn't I There?: A September 11 fan fiction by Stephensmat reviews
Even superheroes can't fix everything. But they sure do try. SpidermanShadow crossover.
Shadow - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,994 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/3/2002 - Complete
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Mass Effect: The Saltorian War reviews
It is said that War never Changes; Men do, through the roads they walk, but War does not. The Humans fought The First War, and alongside the Quarians, the Alliance stands tall against the Galaxy in the face of continued adversity. Now Humanity's place is challenged, their power tested, and age-old beliefs are shattered when a beyond-ancient species is forced onto the playing field.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Suspense - Chapters: 23 - Words: 176,969 - Reviews: 618 - Favs: 992 - Follows: 1,086 - Updated: 2/15 - Published: 1/26/2014 - Shepard (M), OC
Mass Effect: The Hopeless War reviews
A/U- In the 21st century, the Batarian Hegemony discovers a beautifully violent species known as 'Humans'. After deciding to enslave the entire race, and turn them into their own personal slave warriors, the so-called Masters of War must go against the Makers of Slaves. But is it truly possible to combat an alien threat, when your own species can barely even leave its only home?
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 19 - Words: 125,004 - Reviews: 631 - Favs: 500 - Follows: 568 - Updated: 11/30/2014 - Published: 5/11/2013 - OC
Mass Effect: The First War reviews
The Prothean Ruins weren't. They contained little more than mentionings of an Alien Society; as a result, humanity develops on a completely different path than what was intended, and when first contact is made not with the Turians, but a desperate, destitute race viewed as beggars and thieves, how will this dying race change Humanity? And how will Humanity change the Galaxy? *A/U!*
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 22 - Words: 200,906 - Reviews: 1635 - Favs: 2,415 - Follows: 1,916 - Updated: 1/12/2014 - Published: 1/26/2013 - OC - Complete
Mass Effect: Hearing the Call reviews
They said 'War Never Changes', well let me tell you, there's more wisdom in that statement than I realized. After being torn from my home by an entity I would have *sworn* didn't exist, I've got to make a life in a universe I'd never thought I'd visit. Self Insert, several OC's present, Pre-Mass Effect 1. Rated T until further notice.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 40 - Words: 190,871 - Reviews: 346 - Favs: 249 - Follows: 261 - Updated: 6/14/2013 - Published: 12/13/2012 - OC - Complete