Author has written 1 story for Percy Jackson and the Olympians.
Hello random stranger who is reading my profile, I am new at this so I hope I am doing this right. Here is a little information about me:
NAME: Not Important
AGE: You do not ask a lady her age.
FAVORITE AUTHOR: Rick Riordan
FAVORITE BOOK: The Mark Of Athena
FAVORITE SAGA: Percy Jackson and The Olympians (aka: Best Book Ever!!)
ABOUT MYSELF: I am a happy person :) I'm ME!! Who else would I be??
PERCY AWESOME JACKSON STUFF by Cccrrraaazzzyyy not me.
Doesn't every true fan of Percy Jackson have this on their page?
Perseus Jackson. Savior of Olympus.
Electricity. That's what will shock you if you mess with Thalia Grace.
Riptide. Percy's lethal ballpoint pen.
Clarisse. That's who will go after you if you beat her in a battle. (And you don't want an angry Clarisse. It's bad enough when she's not angry.)
Yellow duffle bags. Helped Percy, Tyson, and Annabeth.
Jason Grace. Thalia's "lost" little brother.
Annabeth Chase. Percy's girlfriend and official architect of Olympus.
Chiron. Trainer of heroes.
Kaleidoscope. What Piper's eyes look like to Jason.
Son of Neptune. The book we couldn't wait for.
Olympus. Home of the gods.
Nemesis. Ethan's mother. Don't worry, she's not getting her revenge on his death.
Atlas. Zoe's father.
Never back down. The phrase that reminds me of TLO.
Dionysus. The god of wine. (More like the god of Diet Coke.)
Thalia Grace. Hunter of Artemis and daughter of Zeus.
Hephaestus. The father of our favorite fire boy. ;)
Empathy link. What Grover and Percy have. Saved Grover's life a couple of times.
Officers. The immortal skeletons dressed up as officers.
Lupa. The she-wolf we all want to know about
Morpheus. The god of dreams. Put NYC asleep during TLO.
Persephone. Kidnapped wife of Hades. Believes every hero is brave and wants to give them a chance.
Illiterates. Many kids believe some of the demigods are illiterates.
Artemis. Goddess of the Hunt. Has hunters, including Thalia.
Nothing lasts forever. Even the gods.
Switched. Percy and Jason are switched. Jason at CHB, Percy at Legion Camp
The Percy Jackson pledge:
Because PJO fans know that Percy Jackson isn't an obsession, it's a way of live, you know??
You Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When…
There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!”
Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes.
When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses.
You burn food to see if it smells good.
You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!”
Everyone else is creating a Twilight family and you create a PJO family.
You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda…
You sometimes try to control water.
You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months.
You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address.
Even though not diagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it
You yell "Annabeth!" everytime you see a NY Yankees hat.
You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video
Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it is
You are a PJO character for Halloween.
Recite lines randomly from the books.
When you see/hear about anything myhtology-related, you talk about how it
Buy anything New York or San Francisco-related.
You are suddenly obsessed with Adidas shoes because they have the Hermes
You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you.
You have dreams about PJO characters/events (I always dream about more percabeth fluff!).
You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.(guilty)
That everytime you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword.(again guilty)
In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be
You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?"
When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you scream
You are known to scream names of the characters at random times.
You've got any copy of any book
PERCY JACKSON QUOTES:
With great power, comes the great need to take a nap. Wake me up later." -Nico Di Angelo, THE LAST OLYMPIAN
"God alert! It's the wine dude!" -Blackjack (Percy's pegasus), THE TITANS CURSE
"Let us find the dam snack bar." Zoe said
"The dam snack bar?"
"Yes. What is funny?"
"Nothing." Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fires."
"And I need to use the dam restroom."
"I do not understand"
"I want to use the dam water fountain."
"And. . .I want to buy a dam T-shirt." -Thalia, Zoe, Grover, Percy, THE TITANS CURSE
"Go chase a doughnut." -Percy, THE SEA OF MONSTERS
Deadlines just aren't real to me unless I'm staring one in the face. -Percy, THE LIGHTNING THEIF
I'll have a cheeseburger and-AHHH! My friend's on fire! Get me a bucket! -Jason, THE LOST HERO
Even before he got electrocuted, Jason was having a rotten day. -THE LOST HERO
"See, that's what happens to snow in Texas, lady. It-freaking-melts."--Leo, THE LOST HERO
You know how teachers always tell you the magic word is please? That's not true. The magic word is puke. It will get you out of class faster than anything else. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES
"Well. . .See you."
"Hold up! you can't just run off."
"Sure I can." -Clarisse and Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES
That's one good thing about sea serpents: They're big babies when it comes to getting hurt. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES
It's great when you're a celebrity to squids. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES
"It's all right. We just had a family spat."
"Family spat? You turned me into a dandelion!" -Persephone and Nico, THE DEMIGOD FILES
Now Thalia and Nico would have to haul my useless butt through the rest of the mission. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES
''Maybe if we push her over." - Annabeth, The Battle of the Labyrinth
"Your a half-blood too?'
"Look, I'm really sorry about the band room. I hope they didn't kick you out or anything."
"No, no. Rainbows. Very macho." - Leo , The Lost Hero
"Annabeth! I said you could borrow the chariot, not destroy it." - Will, The Lost Hero
"Vulcan? I dont even LIKE Star Trek." Leo, The Lost Hero
"Aphrodite took my snowboarding jacket. Mugged by my own mom." - Piper, The Lost Hero
If you will always believe PERCY JACKSON is the best Greek hero of ALL TIME, copy/paste this on your profile!!!!
If you will always believe CARTER KANE is the best Egyptian hero of ALL TIME, copy/paste this on your profile!!!
IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE, COPY/PASTE THIS ON YOUR PROFILE!!
If you have annoying siblings, copy/paste this on your profile!
If you're one of the few people who actually reads profiles, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing, or a combination of both, copy and paste this into your profile
PERCY JACKSON QUOTES! (from Dovewings.of.Narnia)
"It smelled just like any public bathroom, and I was thinking - as much as I could think with Clarisse ripping my hair out - that if this place belonged to the gods, they should have been able to afford classier johns." Percy Jackson, The Lightning Thief
"In a way, it's nice to know that there are Greek gods out there, because you have somebody to blame when things go wrong. For instance, when you're walking away from a bus that's just been attacked by monster hags and blown up by lightning, and it's raining on top of everything else, most people might think that's just really bad luck; when you're a half-blood, you understand that some divine force is really trying to mess up your day." Percy Jackson, The Lightning Thief
I stared at Annabeth, figuring she'd crack up at this practical joke they were playing on me, but she looked deadly serious. "I'm not saying hello to a pink poodle," I said. "Forget it."
"Where I had been standing a moment before was a ragged hole in the side of the Arch, with melted metal streaming around the edges. Great, I thought. We just blowtorched a national monument." Percy Jackson, The Lightning Thief
"I don't know. Just a feeling. Annabeth, come with me—"
[Annabeth] put her head against the backpack Ares had given us, and closed her eyes. "I don't know what my mom will do. I just know I'll fight next to you."
[Charon] looked us over. "How did you die, then?"
"Besides, my mom had made me promise not to use deadly weapons in the apartment after I'd swung a javelin the wrong way and taken out her china cabinet." Percy Jackson, The Sea of Monsters
"Mythologically speaking, if there's anything I hate worse then trios of old ladies, it's bulls." Percy Jackson, The Sea of Monsters
“This was so completely unfair, I told Tantalus to go chase a doughnut, which didn’t help his mood.” Percy Jackson, The Sea of Monsters
“Well, actually, [the flying ram] carried Cadmus. Europa fell off and died along the way, but that’s not important.”
“Percy,” Annabeth said, “that was so—”
“Ah, we saw [Luke] all right,” I said. “But—”
“Families are messy. Immortal families are eternally messy. Sometimes the best we can do is remind each other that we’re related, for better or worse… and try to keep the maiming and killing to a minimum.” Hermes, The Sea of Monsters
"My mom seemed to relax a little. She thinks Annabeth is the most levelheaded demigod ever to hit eighth grade. She's sure Annabeth often keeps me from getting killed. She's right, but that doesn't mean I have to like it." Percy Jackson, The Titan's Curse
“Dance, you guys!” Thalia ordered. “You look stupid just standing there.”
“You must forgive my Hunters if they do not welcome you,” Artemis said. “It is very rare that we would have boys in this camp. Boys are usually forbidden to have any contact with the Hunters. The last one to see this camp…” She looked at Zoë. “Which one was it?”
"Wow," Thalia muttered. "Apollo is hot." "He's the sun god," I said. "That's not what I meant." The Titan's Curse
“Sure, sis.” Then [Apollo] raised his hands in a stop everything gesture. “I feel a haiku coming on.”
“It seemed weird calling a teenager ‘sir’, but I’d learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then they blew stuff up.” Percy Jackson on Apollo, The Titan’s Curse
“Hey, I’m the god of prophesy. I know stuff.” Apollo, The Titan’s Curse
“And, whoa!” [Nico] looked at Mr. D. “You’re the wine dude? No way!”
God alert, Blackjack yelled. It’s the wine dude!
[The homeless guy] cleared his throat and held up his hands dramatically:
Grover was sniffing the wind, looking nervous. He fished out his acorns and threw them into the sand, then played his pipes. They rearranged themselves in a pattern that made no sense to me, but Grover looked concerned.
Aphrodite waved her hand irritably. “No, no. I leave the details to you. But it’s been ages since we’ve had a good tragic love story.”
“Let us find the dam snack bar,” Zoë said. “We should eat while we can.”
“Now, as far as I knew, [Luke] was still sailing around on his demon-infested cruise ship while his chopped-up Lord Kronos re-formed, bit by bit, in a gold sarcophagus, biding his time until he had enough power to challenge the Olympian gods. In demigod-speak, we call this a ‘problem’.” Percy Jackson, The Battle of the Labyrinth
“Yay!” [Tyson] said. “Now we can eat peanut butter sandwiches and ride fish ponies! We can fight monsters and see Annabeth and make things go BOOM!”
“Chiron insisted we talk about it in the morning, which was kind of like Hey, your life’s in mortal danger. Sleep tight!” Percy Jackson, The Battle of the Labyrinth
“Very powerful,” Tyson said. “Wonderful! As tall as the sky. So strong they could break mountains!”
Cherry-colored cows roamed around, grazing on clumps of grass.
“New lesson, class. Most monsters will vaporize when sliced with a celestial bronze sword. This change is perfectly normal, and will happen to you right now if you don’t BACK OFF!” Percy Jackson to a class of young telkhines, The Battle of the Labyrinth
“But you’ll be killed!”
“You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed.” Percy Jackson, The Battle of the Labyrinth
“Hey, I’m usually about to die. Don’t worry about it.” Percy Jackson, The Battle of the Labyrinth
“Jumping out a window five hundred feet aboveground is not usually my idea of fun. Especially when I’m wearing bronze wings and flapping my arms like a duck.” Percy Jackson, The Battle of the Labyrinth
“That sucked,” [Nico] said, which I thought summed things up pretty well. Percy Jackson and Nico di Angelo on seeing Kronos rise again,The Battle of the Labyrinth
“You hit the lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush.” Percy Jackson to Rachel Elizabeth Dare, The Battle of the Labyrinth
“Demigod dreams suck. The thing is, they’re never just dreams. They’ve got to be visions, omens, and all that other mystical stuff that makes my brain hurt.” Percy Jackson, The Last Olympian
“It’s him,” I said. “Typhon.”
“A half-blood of the eldest dogs…” “Er, Percy?” Annabeth interrupted. “That’s gods. Not dogs.” The Last Olympian
“Either way, I doubted we could stop the prophecy. A blade was supposed to reap my soul. As a general rule, I preferred not to have my soul reaped.” Percy Jackson, The Last Olympian
“Like Theseus,” Paul suggested. “He was supposed to raise white sails when he came home to Athens.”
“Please, man,” I said. “It would mean a lot. For old times’ sake?”
“With great power… comes a great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.” Nico di Angelo, The Last Olympian
[Annabeth] pressed the tip of Seward’s boot, and the statue stood up, its quill and paper ready.
Prometheus [said] “Understand, Percy. You are refighting the Trojan War here…. A great siege. Two armies. The only difference is, this time you are defending. You are Troy. And you know what happened to the Trojans, don’t you?”
Enemy giants moved toward the breach, and Tyson picked up the fallen warrior’s club. He yelled something to his fellow blacksmiths—probably “For Poseidon!”—but with his mouth full of peanut butter it sounded like “PUH PTEH BUN!” His brethren all grabbed hammers and chisels, yelled, “PEANUT BUTTER!” and charged behind Tyson into battle. The Last Olympian
“Another thing I learned: it’s one thing to climb a rope in gym class. It’s a completely different thing to climb a rope attached to a moving pig’s wing while you’re flying at a hundred miles per hour.” Percy Jackson, The Last Olympian
“Well… sure good to be together again. Arguing. Almost dying. Abject terror. Oh, look. It’s our floor.” Grover Underwood to Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase, The Last Olympian
“[Tyson’s] doing much better then I expected. Though ‘peanut butter’ is a strange battle cry.” Poseidon, The Last Olympian
“Son of Hades.” Kronos spit on the ground. “Do you love death so much you wish to experience it?”
While Zeus was talking—some long speech about the bravery of the gods, etc.—Annabeth walked in a stood next to me. She looked good for someone who’d recently passed out.
Apollo studied Rachel with concern. “Either the spirit takes hold, or it doesn’t.”
"Hey." Anabeth slid next to me on the bench. "Happy birthday." She was holding a huge misshapen cupcake with blue icing. I stared at her. "What?" "It's August 18," she said. "Your birthday, right?" I was stunned. It hadn't even occurred to me, but she was right. I had turned sixteen this morning - the same morning I'd made the choice to give Luke the knife. The prophecy had come true right on schedule, and I hadn't even thought about the fact that it was my birthday. "Make a wish," she said. "Did you bake this yourself?" I asked. "Tyson helped." "That explains why it looks like a chocolate brick. " I said. "With extra blue cement." Annabeth laughed. I thought for a second, the blew out the candle. We cut it in half and shared, eating with our fingers. amnnabeth sat next to me, and we watched the ocean. Crickets and monsters were making noises in the woods, but otherwise it was quiet. "You saved the world," she said "We saved the world." "And Rachel is the new Oracle, which means she won't be dating anybody." "You don't sound disappointed," I noticed. Annabeth shrugged. "Oh, I don't care." "Uh-uh." She raised an eyebrow. "You got something to say to me, Seaweed Brain?" "You'd probably kick my butt." "You know I'd kick your butt." She brushed the cake off my hands. "When I was at the river Styx, turning invulnerable...Nico said I had to concentrate on one thing that kept me anchored to the world, that made me want to saty mortal." Annabeth kept her eyes on the horizon. "Yeah? "The up on Olympus," I said, "when they wanted to make me a god and stuff, I kept thinking-" "Oh, you so wanted to." "Well, maybe a little. But I didn't, because I thought - I didn't want things to stay the same for eternity, because things could always get better. and I was thinking..." My throat felt really dry. "Anyone in particular?" Annabeth asked, her voice soft. I looked over and saw that she was trying not to smile. "You're laughing at me," I complained. "I am not!" "You are so not making this easy." "Then she laughed for real, and she put her hands round my neck. "I am never, ever going to make things easy for you, Seaweed Brain. Get used to it." When she kissed me, I had the feeling my brain was melting right through my body. I could've stayed that way forever, except a voice behind us growled, "Well, it's about time!" Suddenly the pavilion was filled with torchlight and campers. Clarisse led the way as the eavesdroppers charged and hoisted us both onto their shoulders. "Oh, come on!" I complained. "Is there no privacy? "The lovebirds need to cool off!" Clarisse said with glee. "The canoe lake!" Connir Stoll shouted. With a huge cheer, they carried us down the hill, but they kept us close enough to hold hands. Annabeth was laughing, and I couldn't help laughing too, even though my face was completely red. We held hands right up to the moment they dumped us into the water. Afterward, I had the last laugh. I made an air bubble at the bottom of the lake. Our friends kept waiting for us to come up, but hey - when you're the son of Poseidon, you don't have to hurry. An it was pretty much the best underwater kiss of all time. Percy Jackson, The Last Olympian
“[Annabeth] took off down Half-Blood Hill and I sprinted after her. For once, I didn’t look back.” Final Words, The Last Olympian
We're all a little weird. And life is weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness - and we call it love - true love.
Don't follow in my footsteps i walk into walls.
Consciousness- that confusing place between naps.
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." -Einstein
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid. -Benjamin Franklin
Nine out of the ten voices in my head agree that I'm insane. The tenth is off chasing cars.
Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?
What ever doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. Whatever doesn't kill ME, had better run like heck!
In a British University, a final exam question on Business was:"Define what risk is". The shortest answer ever at one word was :"This." The student handed the essay in and got 100.
Wherever I throw it, that’s where it belongs.
The voices in my head don’t like you.
If I can’t be a good example, I’ll just have to be a horrible warning.
Welcome to the dark side. Why are you surprised we lied about the cookies?
Gravity is the only law I feel compelled to obey.
" Good friends make sure you don't do stupid things. Best Friends not only do stupid things with you, they encourage you to do them."
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.
Be yourself, no one can say you’re doing it wrong.
I don’t have ADHD, I just… oh look! A bunny rabbit!
I have ADHS… Attention Defici… Hey! Shiny!
Every time I think I’ve hit rock bottom somebody hands me a shovel.
If aliens are looking for intelligent life?! WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED?!
Crazy? I was crazy once, I had my own padded room. Then the worms came….Worms? I hate worms, they drive me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once…
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the the universe.”- Albert Einstein
My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems.
I was wondering why the Frisbee was getting bigger… then it hit me.
Stupid is when you spend 18 hours trying to drown a fish.
Your're so stupid you threw a rock at the ground and missed.
I’m out of my mind. Please leave a message.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Laugh hysterically for no apparent reason, and they'll leave you alone.
Reality seems like a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.
I thought you were my knight in shining armor, but you turned out to be a loser in tinfoil.
Save the Earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
"Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown
They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly I think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," I don't think many people would be dead...
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE then it's weird.
"It's always in the last place you look" Well DUH! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor". A long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, my friends, for I may not return alive.
I'm not so good at advice; may I interest you in a sarcastic reply?
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep.
Real girls aren't perfect, and perfect girls aren't real.
I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have.
What hair color do they put down on the driver's licenses of a bald man?
It's funny--the people who want quiet are always the loudest getting people to shut up.
I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you... you're just not laughing.
I used up all my sick days at work so I'm calling in dead.
Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home.
It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.
My favorite word is sarcasm.
Please don't drop cigarette buds on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
If you want to look young and thin, hang around with old fat people.
If Wal-mart is lowering their prices everyday, how come the store isn't free yet?
Sarcasm doesn't work on a sarcastic person.
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
Screw fire and save matches!!
Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words.
My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen.
I ran with scissors, and lived!
I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.
If two wrongs dont make a right, try three.
Borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back!
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that can't.
Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. . . if well-aimed.
One way to find out if something works: push all the buttons.
I hear your silence loud and clear.
According to the latest figures, 43% of all statistics are utterly worthless.
Don't steal. The government hates the competition.
If at first you don't succeed, change the rules.
Tell the truth and run.
Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.
Friends come and go while enemies never do; they just multiply.
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat.
Generally, generalizations are wrong.
Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research.
Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts.
The Truth is out there. So what are you doing here?
Whatever you are, be a good one.
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.
The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for.
Belief gets in the way of learning.
If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done?
Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead.
And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years.
We don't live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we perceive reality.
If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire.
A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic.
Have the courage to live. Anyone can die.
Education is important. School, however, is another matter.
When a finger points at the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger.
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months.
Cynics are made, not born.
What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it? . . . . Next week.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.
You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
What do you mean my birth certificate expired?
My mind works like lightning . . . .one brilliant flash and it's gone.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
Don't underestimate the power of funny. It moves mountains.
Never say that! Never! Run before you walk! Fly before you crawl! Keep moving forward! Because if we fail, I'd rather fail really hugely. All or nothing!
Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them more.
If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Growing old is mandatory . . . growing UP is optional . . .
When I'm stressed, I laugh. When I'm happy, I laugh. When I'm nervous, I laugh. If I find something funny, I can't stop laughing.
If you find any poisonous plants in your tea, just to let you know, it wasn't me.
Don't pop my bubbles. I'll get depressed.
Anatidaephobia: the fear that somehow, somewhere, a duck is watching you.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em. If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em. If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em. If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder
People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.
If your heart was really broken . . . you'd be dead so shut up.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.
Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, but Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous.
They laugh because we're losers . . . . We laugh because they just figured it out.
The 50-50-90 rule: any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.
The voices may not be real, but they have some pretty good ideas.
Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."
Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.
Why be difficult, when, with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.
You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
Chaos, panic, pandemonium. My work here is done.
If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Newsflash, Honey, I don't live to please you.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
Being mature is overrated.
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me.
Boys are like lava lamps: fun to watch but not too bright.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
I believe you should live each day as if it were your last, which is why I don't do my laundry. I mean, come on, who would wanna wash clothes on the last day of their life?
Be insane- well behaved people never made history.
To the world you are just one person, but to one person, you're the world.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and was too stubborn to ask for directions.
I'm not random . . . you just can't think as fast as me.
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that thing up in two seconds. When I play Rock, Paper, Scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you!"
Rock beats paper. Always. But since we live in a world where Paper may beat rock, use Cannonball; it makes a big hole in paper.
I hate it when people say there is no such thing as normal. There IS such thing, as normal means average, what is considered to be most common. Normal. Of course, I'm not normal at all so I have no idea what I'm on about. If you want to learn how to explode things, crush things, cause things harm, or whatever random things you need, I'm your girl. If you want to know about anything that you will actually USE in life, go somewhere else.
The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!
Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it . . .
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.
"Sir, we're surrounded!" "Excellent, we can attack in any direction!"
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and leave life to wonder how the heck you did it.
When life gives you lemons, ask for some water and sugar or your gonna make some pretty crappy lemonade.
When life gives you lemons, squirt lemon juice in life's eyes.
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss.
I'm not CLUMSY, the floor just hates me!
Don't you dare tell me the sky's the limit, when there are FOOTSTEPS on the Moon.
Girls are like phones- We like to be held and talked to, but push the wrong button and you'll be disconnected!
Boys are like lava lamps: fun to watch but not too bright.
You say Harry Potter, I say Percy Jackson!
My friends call me weird, I call myself awesome.
When in doubt, check a fortune cookie. It is right 5% of the time.
People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.
You don't have to be faster than the bear; you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.
Everything here is edible. Even me, but that, my children, is called cannibalism, and is frowned upon in most societies.
They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?
Immaturity is the best kind of maturity.
It's one thing for a girl to lose. It's another thing entirely for a girl to get mad.
Relax. Nothing is okay.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Smile. It confuses people.
The cops never find it as funny as you do.
What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding.
I'm not saying you're stupid, I'm just implying it.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat.
I'm not afraid of death. What's it going to do, kill me?
I talk to myself because mine are the only answers I accept!
An idiot is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire their work.
There is no 'I' in team, but there is an 'I' in PIE, an so there is an 'I' in MEATPIE and since MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly.
The quality of life is not determined by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
If one part of you is calm and the other part like to stand on their head and sing theme songs, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you seriously CANNOT WAIT for the House of Hades, copy this into your profile. If you are slowly dying because Rick refuses to give you a copy of the House of Hades RIGHT NOW! copy and paste this to your profile.
If, in the Son of Neptune, every time Percy remembered Annabeth you squealed and jumped up and down, copy this into your profile.
If your too old for Percy Jackson, but love it to death anyway, copy this into your profile.
Haikus are random
God gave us 2 eyes, 2 ears, 2 hands, 2 feet, 2 arms, and 2 legs, but only 1 heart because he gave the other to someone else and it's your job to try and find it.
THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SAD... D:
PLeAsE pUt ThIs in yOu'Re ProFilE:
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
Now you have two choices