I speak 3 languages:

English,sarcasm & Sexual Innuendos

To ssucceed in life you Need

A Wish Bone

A Back Bone

A Funny Bone

to let you know how easy mistakes can happen here's an interesting example of how the human mind works...

"Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe."

20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity:

1: At lunch time, sit in your car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars; see if they slow down

2: Page yourself over the intercom. Do not disguise your voice.

3: Every time some one asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.

4: Put you garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

5: Put decaf in the coffee maker (home or work). When everyone gets over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

6: In your memo book, on all your checks, put "FOR SMUGGLING DIAMONDS".

7: Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance To The Prophecy".

8: Dont use any punctuation

9: As often as possible, skip instead of walking.

10: Order diet water whenever you go out with a serious face.

11: Specify that your drive-thru order is "TO GO".

12: Sing along at the opera.

13: Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14: Put mosquito netting around your work area (or room) and play tropical sounds all day.

15: 5 days in advance, tell your friend that you can't go to their party cause you don't 'feel like it'.

16: Have friends or coworkers address you by your wrestling name "Rock Bottom".

17: When the cash comes out of the ATM yell, "I WON, I WON".

18: When exiting the zoo, start running toward the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives they're loose!".

19: Tell your children (or younger siblings) that "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.".

20: And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity is... Copy this and put it on your profile!