The name's Husna and currently I am 14 years 2 months 17 days and yada yada yada time old when writing this when I realized that my profile page was a blank white box. So I decided to actually do something productive while trying to find time from my not so booked schedule that I use to read other people's fanfictions rather publish my own amazing ideas that pop in my head everyday (it seems so). If anyone ever happens to come across this have hope that I may actually post some of those amazingly awesome ideas someday :p ;)
Strange and random things that made me laugh...
Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?
If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.
Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run- he hates that!
My knight in shining turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.
It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious
If you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!
OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird!
let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.
yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.
i speak fluent sarcasm.
are yhu stoned
I don't obsess, I think intensely!
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."
I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.
"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."
"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
Education is important; school however, is another matter.
I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.
Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.
I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.
If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.
Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?
There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.
Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.
High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.
It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.
I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
I do not deny everything!
Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.
Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us
Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.
Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
The road to success is always under construction.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.
Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.
Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape
Don't take life to serously, no one gets out alive anyway
I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!
SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...
If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends
Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do
Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died
Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It Just That Your's Is Stupid
Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain
Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."
"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."
"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P
I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.
People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.
Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Frito's! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?
If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?
Why is it the TWELVE days of Christmas when there is only one day of Christmas?
Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?
If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?
When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do you call a girl that is named after her mother?
364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?
Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
15. The day you don't wash your hair is the day you meet a cute boy.
Do not run in the school hall, gliding is more fun.
Officer, I swear to Drunk I am not God!
When life gives you lemons, spit the lemons in life's eyes.
Enjoying the "Great Outdoors" would be better if it were great.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
My heart? Yeah. It's not a playground.
Tears wash the windows of our souls so we can see ourselves more clearly. -Exodus 19:5
Oops! I appear to have fallen on your lips.
We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at one thing: Staying Strong.
Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird.
Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit! (OMC! Carlisle!)
Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it all. And then some you don't want. -Daughtry
Of course it's in the last place you look for it. Why in hell would you keep looking for it if you already found it.
When you get caught looking at him, just remember he was looking back.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.
Silence is golden but duck tape is silver
You know it's a bad day when you fall out of bed and you miss the floor.
Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way.
Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die, and your mom say you can still keep it.
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
Dance like no one's watching. Sing like no one's listening.
Sometimes you've got to smile and walk away... Hold your tears in and pretend like you're okay.
Being mature is overrated.
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.
Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!
Don't yawn in the shower. You might drown. -Bill Cosby
I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.
Slinky Escalator = Endless fun
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.
Therapist = The/rapist (scary thought -shudder-)
Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...
I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.
I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! -Dory from Finding Nemo
I can resist anything but temptation.
They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
One day we're going to look back at this, laugh nervously, then change the subject.
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide.
I don't obsess, I think intensely.
Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.
Things I owe to my Mother
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
3. My mother taught me LOGIC.
4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
6. My mother taught IRONY.
7. My mother taught me about THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS.
8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
14. My mother taught me about ENVY.
15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
17. My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE.
18. My mother taught me about ESP.
19. My mother taught me HUMOR.
20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
21. My mother taught me GENETICS.
22. My mother taught me about MY ROOTS.
23. My mother taught me WISDOM.
24. My mother taught me JUSTICE.
It's funny how 'hello' is always accompanied with 'goodbye'.